What’s the ideal weight for a Lawyer?

5lb including the Urn!

****************** 

Tuesday 22^nd December 2015

Up at 0505 hrs, My first thought was to get to the bathroom and check out the tender, tingling and sore ‘Little Inchy’ – what a mess the poor thing was – bruised bloodied and damned tender! Washed him and applied the Betamethasone cream – talk about make myself jump!

Feeling well drained from yesterday’s activities still.

BJ should be lifting me to the launderette later, must make sure I don’t keep him waiting.

It’s good for him to help me out, even at this time of year with his family holidays to sort out he offers – good mate is BJ.

The haemorrhoids were flowing again. Huh!

The toilet still not flushing properly again. Trouble is with it being in the flats with so many on the go so to speak; it takes ages for the cistern to refill each time. I did try pouring water from the bath down, but the bending down has started me back off aching! Tsk!

Made a cuppa and took me morning medications, I think I missed last nights cause I can’t find an empty blue lidded pill-pot anywhere?

Got the laptop going and started the graphics and this diary off.

Then did some Facebooking and started some graphics on Coreldraw.

Amazingly and for the first time ever; BJ rang early to tell me he was on his way to pick me up.

There was a bit of a panic to get ready in time to go down to meet him outside.

Struggled down with me two big bags of laundry and he was already there sat waiting in his car.

Had a chin-wag on the way to the laundry, and I realised I’d forgotten to take me coins with me for the machines.

Mandy was on duty and we managed a few laughs. She had very few coins other than twenty pences and we had to use those instead of £1 coins. Gave her some nibbles.

I actually finished a crossword off competely, without peeping. First one ever for me.

It took us about 2.75 hours to get all the laundry done and finished.

BJ ran us to Asda.

I looked for some trousers that were a little wider around the grith – due to me water retention and over-eating… perhaps more to the over eating, maybe, perhaps? (Guilty).

I found a pair of trews that suited and also besides that – saw they had some loose fitting underpants on sale as well, so I got a pack of those.

I pondered around and got a Bath Sheet at £3.50 – although I’ve never heard of a bath sheet before. It looked like a towel to me? Potato cakes, Sharon fruits and some cream french horns fell in bag as I passed. Being of a strong will power – I told myself I’m not going to get any more of these owing to me bloated stomach and tendency to gain weight recently. But did I put it back in the fridge where I got it from? Did I ‘eck as! Tsk”

At the check-out after going through the lady threw me trousers as they were along the counter and I asked her if I could have a bag to put them in to keep them clean. I was was told “No, not unless you pay 5p for one!” I suggested that the 5p charge was for carrier bags not individual bags and got a scowl of immense intensity back for my cheek!.

Found BJ and as we were going out a lady in a disabled scooter, who obviously was struggling to get through the crowds as she manipulated the machine using her only working hand – the crowd would not give way for her and didn’t even notice her suffering. I placed my trolley to make a way through for her and held up the shoppers – boy did I get it in the neck verbally from the shopping mad swines who were held up for all of a minute while the lady got through..

This left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

Out and to the car and BJ called to get some petrol. 99.7p a litre it had come down to, BJ was pleased with this.

BJ dropped me outside the flats with me two laundry bags and bag of things from Asda. He had a lot to do preparatorily for his family for Christmas, so I thanked him and tackled getting me and me bags into the complex..

It was a bit of a struggle getting me things up to the flat but I proudly managed it without any Whoopsiedangleplops..

They were some letters on the floor when I got in and I checked them first, fearing one might be from the Solicitors again. Nothing from the bank again! Two for Margaret the previous tenant and one from Age UK. I realised then why out of the blue Steve of Age UK called me the other day to see if I was alright? It is a survey of satisfaction (Nine pages) for me to fill in when I get the chance, about the service quality.

Into the bathroom and checked out Little Inchies condition. It wasn’t good, another pair of undies for the wash and discomfort in cleaning him up again. Thought it best if I had a bath before putting on the new/old Betamethasone cream – but there was no hot water for a bath?

I soon saw why this was as I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and saw that I’d left the hot water tap running in me rush this morning to get out to meet BJ. A few well chosen self-deprecating words were uttered!

I hung up my new trousers and put away the fodder I’d bought and took me midday medications, a little late but still.

Got some nosh in the oven, waffles, beetroot, chestnuts and polish ham on the plate ready and potato cakes to add to the waffles half way through their cooking time, and some green beans in the saucepan.

Meanwhile, I checked the TV paper and was pleased to see there were lots of things I could watch, a film, two Top Gear programmes on different channels and Open all Hours.

I enjoyed this meal, only the Polish ham let it down, due to its lack of flavour of any type!

The onset of fatigue gain returned to me and I fell asleep after eating the dinner.

Not easy cleaning the dishes etc. with using the kettle for hot water, but there you are.

Who would have thought that a man of my calibre could leave the tap running? (Coy Mode Adopted)

Woke up and it was dark. Took me evening medications and noticed the hot water was warming up, so thought I’d give it a while and get the bath running again..

I fell asleep watching the Open all Hours on the TV and think I dreamt of my Cyber-mate Lynton Cox. Oh boy, was he having a go at me, I was in front of a giant blackboard and Lynton was drawing food on it and telling me off about something, much finger wagging took place and I managed to escape down into a sewer somehow and he locked the trapdoor I’d climbed down? Moments later he opened it and threw down my hearing aids and walking stick to me? The Doctor who treated Little Inchy so cruelly on Monday appeared and chased me down a passageway… I’m sure much more took place in this dream, but cannot remember details.

I made a cuppa and lay there thinking to myself “Well I’ll never get to sleep again now…” But I was wrong, I nodded off again! Huh!