Not a good day, humph!
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Sunday 10th January 2016
Dreams like never before, none of them made the least sense or seemed to have any connection with life as it is, or was? I was in a coffin with an old Atari ST computer at one time, winding up a generator for light and heat? Then I was picking maggots out my rotting leg and eating them?
Woke as fully depressed as I have for years now – self-pity and fear seemed to have taken over my psyche this morning.
Add to that the bleeding from the rear and Little Inchy had started again.
Anne Gina was giving me far too much jip. So much, I took my last under-tongue lozenge.
The ulcer joined in attacking me with venom. Only Arthur Itis was going easy on me this morning.
Stiffness and aching in the elbow and hand joints were bothersome, something new this.
I feel so different to yesterday morning when I woke with hope and faith things were going better for me… Foolish me!
I made a cuppa and took my medications.
Unable it seems to free myself from the worry and fretting over the turn of events with the FraserBrown demands, and how to get things sorted and help.
I finished the last diary and started this one.
Feeling morose and not being able to shake it off.
To be honest, I’m a bag of nerves. Twitching, fretting and nervous about and at, anything today.
I’ll try to have a bath later. Sort out blood matted Little Inchy and the haemorrhoids. Try to shake me out of this mean spirit level draining lethargy.
I did some Facebooking on the Troll Free Zone. May nice comments received from the members. I’m afraid I felt a little less enthusiastic than normal. Due to the solicitors demands, questionnaires and jobs I have to sort and get done on the old house – no idea what or how to do any of them, can’t hear folk on the phone, or understand some of the questions from the buyers solicitor. Only Steve Age UK can help, and he won’t get my email requesting support until Monday, if then. I’m depressed.
Had a good soak in the bath and readied the washing for the laundry room.
Took the rubbish bags and threw them down the chute on the way.
Did my crossword book while I was waiting in the lobby.
Went in to swap the clothes into the dryer.
A bloke kept hauling some stuff outside from one of the flats.
The frail lady told me later; they were going to live in Scotland.
When the dryer got going, I departed and had a walk up through Woodthorpe Park and down into Sherwood, to get some bits of fodder.
Not that I needed any, but when I feel down, I tend to shop a lot!
The trees on the way up the path looked picturesque despite their lack of colour.
Once at the top of the hill and part way down the footpath, I took a photo of the landscape to the North, across the field.
The shadows produced a rather naughty looking shape on the grass. Hehe!
There were not many doggies being walked today.
Mind you, it was very cold despite the sunshine.
Called in the Co-op store and bought a paper, Meat and potato pie and some milk.
Made my way back up and over the hill and down to the gates into the Woodthorpe Grange Park and up the footpath.
A lot more people in the park on y way back.
There was a pavement cyclist; well, footpath cyclist zooming down the incline as I walked up it.
Swine!
Plenty more dogs with their tails wagging for me to enjoy watching.
To the top and right down the gravel footpath and back to the apartments.
The frail lady from the 11th floor was having a sit in the foyer.
I gave her some nibbles and asked her to smile for her photo bless her.
The dryer finished shortly, and I got me clothes folded in the bag.
As I started up the lift to the flat, the current frustrations came back into my mind, and gloom descended on me.
Got some nosh ready. Didn’t feel much like eating though, so only had a little meal.
Put the togs away, and washed the pots.
I felt like a cloud was following me around.
Ordered some drawers from Wilko to be delivered Tuesday, and some stuff from Morrison’s for tomorrow.
Fell asleep woke up took my medications and flaked out again.
Glad to give my mind a rest from the fretting while I slept.
Feeling drained and haggard each of the many times I sprang awake.
Oh luv, I’m so sorry you are having so many problems while I’m away from my computer. Maybe you should try my method, since I’m beginning to feel less stress and pain now. I might spend one of my hours adding a post eventually, but not sure just yet. A cousin has offered me a laptop computer but will have to ship it from Florida, so I’m not sure if I want him to absorb that expense.
I’m spending my time coloring some adult coloring pages — naughty boy, not THAT adult! Lots of tiny lines and spaces to try to stay inside, and very relaxing way to spend my day without using too much energy on overworked muscles and joints. Keeping my exercises up and beginning to gain some strength there, but a lot of pain involved. Still a lot of stress in everyday life, with the old story still going on with reconstruction problems. Paying more rent now, getting less service, more for cable that isn’t even hooked up yet, all the same old problems, still going on. At least they have started working on the elevators, and should have both of them working soon. By soon, it could mean in the next century or the next month — we never know, but pressure has been brought on the managers to do something or heads will roll, and those heads will be from the top, not local ones.
Hang in luv, I’m thinking about you, worrying about you, and sure do care about you, even though I am still being careful to heal my own body before I can help others much at this point. Still getting so dizzy at times I sit rather quickly, but at least I manage to sit in the chair, not the floor.
Take good care of you luv. I care.
Thanks for being there Angie.
Not too good today, waiting to see if I get an answer to me plea for help from Steve Age UK. Ulcer and angina both giving me grief now. Feeling sorry for myself, feeling alone sad and frustrated, and I hate myself felling like this. So many others worse off than I am.
I’m proud of you how your coping gal.
I have my books and crossword books (No adult ones – Hehe), but not the inclination to use them much, ashamed to say.
It must be bad for you with all the work taking place – and that not taking place? Hope the elevators are sorted soon for you gal.
The dizzies are horrible aren’t they. But you keep on landing in the seat as opposed to the floor please! A much better idea pet. Hehe!
I pray that Steve will get in contact today to help relieve my tension. Crossed fingers on this one.
Take care pet, and all the best. Love and cuddles.
Gerry X
bright sunny but cold day here too, inchy
sorry to hear you’ve been feeling down but you know what they say about a light at the end of the tunnel – [o.k. in your case it’s probably an oncoming train]
just kidding! 😆
anyways, tomorrow’s a new day, mate – things won’t seem quite so bad once you’ve managed to get hold of Steve and get him on your case
till then – keep yer pecker up !
Cheers Dunc me old mate.
I ain’t felt so down in years as wot I do now – and hate myself for getting in this state.
You hit it on the nail about the train! Hehehe! TTFN.