Friday 14th October 2016

Freitag, den 14. Oktober 2016

Woke up 0205hrs: Half-out of the £300 second-hand recliner chair. Been dreaming of working in shops again, very busy chaotic and being robbed by staff and customers?

Although it wasn’t very warm in the flat, I was ringing with sweat – then I realised why I think. The ulcer was giving me gip, and Anne Gyna seemed determined not to lose her grip on me. I was shaky on my feet when I eventually rose up to go and have a WRHD session. Arthur Itis it seems had joined the Axis of Agony in attacking me fiercely this morning. This is not going to be a good day for Inchcock. But the worst thing was the depression was back with a vengeance. I’ve told the doctor about this happening, and she seemed to think I should expect it? I hate feeling like this, the slightest thing, failure, comparison or thought gets to me, and the self-pity reigns. I feel like nothing matters, so why should things bother me? Hey-ho.

Even Haem Aroid was bleeding, the first time in three days – of course, this thought got to me as I felt I was doomed – always think of Private Fraser in Dad’s Army when I use this term. 

 To the kitchen kettle on. Noticed I’d missed some beetroot juice on the floor from last night’s accidental spillage. Got down to wipe it up, then took ages in getting back up, accompanied by a dizzy. I was getting more depressed as the day went on at this stage.

Took the medications, made a cuppa and got the laptop on. I think I figured diving into doing the WordPressing and graphics would get my mind off of the ailment? Spent hours doing the diary, but concentration was often lost when my mind wandered onto darker thoughts.

Several mugs of tea (Blimey I’ve got a thirst on this morning) and WRWW’s later, I tried to download the photo of the meal last night, and it had vanished? Not on the camera or card? Am I going deranged or Gaga?

Sorry if the start if this post is how it is. Not like me usually. Surely I’ll come out of this melancholia soon? I’ll try to do some more of a graphic I started last week, see if that helps rid me of this feeling of isolation, unwantedness and defeatism I’ve attracted.

I really got into doing the graphicalisationing then lost the work when the Virgin Media internet went down! Grrr!

At least it gave me something else to concentrate my anger and frustrations on. I tried several times to reset it.

I called them, and the automatic system needed Password, Customer number, Area Code, etc. before I got through to a Scottish lass with an accent reminiscent of Janet in Doctor Finlay’s Casebook.

Of course, by then the damned thing had come back on. She then wished me a good day and asked if there was anything else she could do for me. I mentioned about the TV nature programmes and asked if she could post me some details of what was available and the price/cost. She said she would.

Within seconds, I got an email telling me to go to the Virgin website for details of programmes available. Tsk!

Wanted to redo the graphic, but the heart had gone out of doing it by now.

WRWW and made a cuppa, then updated this tosh.

Updated this again and listened to some Shadow music while I checked the emails etc. Then got my ablutions done and readied myself for a walk in Woodthorpe Grange Park and into Sherwood – weather permitting. I’ll call on Olive on the way out, see how she is.

TTFN.

Olive was in excellent form and doing well, and as gorgeous as ever! I felt so much better in myself then. The haze of depression had decreased phenomenally, and the enthusiasm returned, so much I felt like I was on some drug or other, released from captivity! I decided I would get a bus to Arnold, try to get some of the cheese twists from the Fulton Foods, and walk all the way back home, calling in B&M in search of curried beans and feed the ducks in Arnot Hill Park.

Whatta mistaka to maker!

Left to catch the L9 into Arnold.

No tenants about, in fact, I wondered if the world had ended and no one had told me, very odd. The bus arrived, and in no time I was dropping off on High Street, Arnold, right opposite the Fulton Food Store.

Where I went in search of the unusual cheese twists… Tsk! I got the last packet.

As I came out decided to make my way out of Arnold to the park to feed the mallards and other wildlife, the sky looked beautiful.

It felt and looked like some rain was due, but it didn’t come.

I meandered on, calling in the Saver store and got some chocolate coins. Then out to the Arno Hill Park.

Where the birds appreciated the earthworm pellets and fed in a harmonious sharing way, no pecking at each other or squabbles to get the food. I stayed a while just talking to them, no one else was about.

As I made my way out of the park, I took a different route than normal and came across this it of Agricultural Artwork on the right here.

I hope the tree wasn’t topped just to make it? I suppose it might have been diseased.

Made my way out and up and over Mansfield Road and left along to the B&M store to see if they had any of the Hoopers Curried Beans in stock. They hadn’t of course. I got a pack of citrus flavoured, no, I mean citrus scented toilet blocks.

Out and along the Mansfield Road towards Sherwood.

I called into the tennis court toilets as no one was about and had a wee-wee. (Cheeky me!)

Got to the Tesco mini-shop and nipped in to have a look around, never been in there before. I got a pack of Crispy beetroots and crispy sweet potato nibbles. Bet they will be nice, expensive mind, £1.05 for a packet of merely 30g. They had some reduced short-dated ready to eat prawns, so I treated myself. This turned out to be false value later, they were horrible foul tasting, and I threw them away. The reduced custard slices with icing on top that I also purchased, were okay. (Guilt mode adopted here).

Pressed on up the hill, the feet ankles and knees now in the right painful condition they are, and I began to regret walking back after all. As I entered the park gates…

A Council Van, parked with its hazard lights flashing had to be got around, and as I moved off the concrete onto the grass, I came as close as I’ve ever have done to slipping over without doing so, if you see what I mean. A minute or so further on up the incline and the van overtook me with inches to spare from hitting me! He just might have given me pap on his horn to let me know he was coming? Huh!

On to the top and right down passing the Copse, and into view came a sight I didn’t want to see.

A paramedic van and an ambulance outside the foyer entrance to the flats.

Haven’t found out what had occurred yet.

Up to the twelfth floor and to the porcelain and made use of it.

Tired and physically drained, but in much better spirits than when the day started I’m happy to say, I got preparing the evening fodder. The prawns were thrown out, a large battered fishcake and battered fish fingers were put in the oven. Tin of garden peas in the saucepan, beetroots and tomato sliced, apple peeled, pickled egg on the plate, small banana and the two custard slices with icing on readied.peas

I did have two little brown cobs and filled them with fish fingers dunking them in the tomato sauce as I devoured the meal. Succulent is the word to describe this effort at my culinary preparations.

The ankles, feet and knees were still not surprisingly in a bad state and causing me some grief. But Anne Gyna had been good to me considering my foolish decision to walk so far. I checked when I made the Google map trip, it said the travel was 2.40 miles? This surprised me somewhat. I’d have guessed about 1.5 miles maximum? If the Google thing is right, it’s no wonder my plates are still stinging. Hehe!

Checked the TV paper and found something to watch from 1755hrs to 2200hrs. Got settled in the £300 second-hand recliner, a mug of orange juice and nibbles in a pot at my side to enjoy the viewing. Fell asleep at 19oohrs during the break between programmes and woke up at 2155hrs to catch the last few minutes of the last programme I’d planned to see.

I’d been dreaming, but only bits of them remained in the brain. Being chased again in derelict buildings high in the sky?

A WRWW, a slurp of orange juice and off into the pleasant land of nod.