Sunday 18th December 2016
Swahili: Jumapili Desemba 18, 2016
Sleep was not an option last night. Stewing, in my self-disgust and pure fear at the threats of violence I’d received, permeated my brain every time I woke up in a state with Duodenal Daniel giving me severe bother, I could not make up my mind whether I should bother with carrying on with these diaries at all, the news being so bad.
To a WRHD session, Little inchy and Haemorrhoid Harold both bleeding didn’t do anything to cheer me up. I am uncheerupable and will be until things sort themselves out and I know where I stand with the intimidation and threats.
Took the medications and sat at the computer with a mug of tea; Pondering, fretting and wallowing in shame at myself.
Today being Sunday, at least I was to stay indoors and not expose myself to the big bully boy or his Mother. I decided to make today a graphicalisationing day, I must not let this bovver boy destroy everything precious in my life.
The mind rumbled away with no positive plans, ideas or thoughts being involved. The only thing that presented itself to me was that I must not inflame the situation by revealing details of the violent personages involved.
I made another cup of tea and tried to get on with doing the graphics for the TFZer site. something to take my mind off of the threats of physical brutality.
Got it done and posted.
Still feeling nervous.
Computerising on and off all day.
Nosh not enjoyed.
The mind toying with my sanity and safety, confusing reigning.
No getting to sleep until the early hours of the morning.
Then up again two hours later, full of an empty feeling.
I hope to be back again soon.
TTFN.
Is there such a thing in England as a restraining order from the court requiring a hostile, potentially harmful person from making contact with you? You truly need to get this problem resolved some way considering it is causing you on-going discomfort, fear, and stress, none of which are good for you and your medical issues. Don’t let it do to the point of a physical confrontation! I’m worried for you, sir….
Cheers Sir.
Trying to not let it bother me, but of course it does a bit still.
Don’t want to inflame the situation.
Love the lads latest photos.
TTFN
don’t give up the diaries, inchy – what would you achieve by doing that? You’d only be punishing yourself
talk to Olive, to BJ, to your sister Jane. Tell them what’s going on. You’ve got friends and family who will support you if you just confide in them
and don’t shut yourself up in your flat, too scared to go out – appreciate it was a frightening experience but you’re going to make yourself ill by constantly dwelling on it, exaggerating its importance
you can be sure the bully boy, having vented his spleen after that chance encounter hasn’t given you a thought since then whereas you are letting the incident take over your life, paralysing you with fear
hard as it may be to do, you need to put this incident behind you and carry on with your life
let me know what your plans are for next week and we’ll fix up a day for me and Deanne to come visit you, maybe go for meal or a drink – and if we should bump into your bully boy we’ll let Deanne deal with him (gawd knows, she scared the shit out of me when her tempers up!) 😆
Sorry not answered sooner Duncan, thanks, mate.
Been in QMC hospital and things are getting a bit busy mate.
Not the most confident of persons am I?
Tsk!
Love to see Deanne and you.
Found note on my diary for Sunday 8th; Can’t remember if this is certain or not?
Cheers cocker.
<3
Bless you pet. X
have a good one, inchy – https://goo.gl/photos/fwPGbrJCcLBW3dJS7
Joined. TTFN