Sunday 1st October 2017

0500hrs: The need for the Porcelain Throne utilisation forced my unwilling brain and body to raise themselves from the £300 second-hand recliner to make my way to the wet-room. Sounds easy to do, doesn’t it? Remember who we are talking about here! Hehe!

As I alighted the chair, Hippy Hilda and Arthur Itis in the knee both gave way at the same time. The pain was unexpectedly vicious, and as I went forwards, putting out my hands to attenuate the landing of my overweight flobby-body-mass, and this did soften the fall considerably – unfortunately, I caught just my nose on the corner of the Ottoman on the way down.

I may have muttered something like, “Oh dearie me!” afterwards. No time to muse over this too long, as the Porcelain Throne session was urgent. And another messy effort again. Trotsky Terence ensured that it was a splattering, spitting, spraying operation that needed the cleaning up of the porcelain and medicating of me. I know keep a stock of the Imodium capsules in the drawer next to the WC, and took one immediately, in the hope that things will calm down. Stopped the nosebleed, well, it stopped on its own actually within ten minutes or so. It started again later of course. Humph!

All tarted up and clean again, back to the kitchen.

It was raining and dark outside, and I took some photographicalisations of the morning scene.

Foolishly I opened the window to take one shot, and got soaked as the frame turned and all the rainwater poured in and over me and the floor I stood on!

I cleaned up the kitchen and myself once again!

Reopening the window with just enough room for me to get the camera out of it, I recorded the car parking situation below.

One tenant with the red or orange car on the left had conveniently blocked in the silver car who had parked of the concrete and on the grass verge. Hehehe!

Moments later, the rain stopped falling. Mmm?

Did the Health Checks, took the other morning medications and rubbed some Phorpain on the knees and Hippy Hilda. Did a good job of this, used a lot of the gel and rubbed and rubbed it into the hip and all around. Doing this, I realised that Haemorrhoid Harold had started bleeding again, so I cleaned up the rear department and applied the Corticosteroid cream. This reminded me that I am on the list awaiting a Haemorrhoidectomy, and have been for a long time now. I must mention this to the nurse on Tuesday. Also, might mention Hippy Hilda, but no chance of any help there yet. There are much more suffering others also waiting who cannot walk at all, so no complaints from me on that score. I read on the label of the cream; “Making simple dietary changes and not straining on the toilet are often recommended…” Huh, with Trotsky Terence and Diahorea Duncan always battling among themselves for supremacy all this year, fat chance of that!

I’d been up and about for around an hour and a half now, and had spent most of that time in the flipping wet-room cleaning up or medicationalising something or other!

Searched failingly to find my reading glasses? Had to use the old pair. The mystery to me is where I put them?

I got on with updating yesterdays diary and posted it off. Three wee-wees during this time?

To the kitchen again to make another mug of tea.

I spotted that the bananas I bought yesterday from the Cooperative store in Sherwood, were going black at the stalk ends. Oh, dear?

I’d left the window ajar and could hear a dog barking, and opened the window to see if it was the white dog that takes its owneress for a walk every Sunday morning, and it was.

The rain had started again.

Started off this chronicle and updated the photo album.

The nose started bleeding again. Took a while for it to stop this time, but it did. Also, I now have a new pain in the neck. Caused, I assume by the tumble earlier. It might have at least have hit the incisors and knocked the loose tooth out for me! Haha!

Went onto Email checking and responding to WordPress reading.

Then onto Facebooking.

The kind gentleman upstairs has started knocking and banging again! I could swear!

Sister Jane rang me and had a natter.

I found this photo on the Nottingham Post site. Queen Street, where I catch the L9 bus from town. Man climbs up scaffolding – Antisocial incident?

Did some graphics.

This one is for Lynton and his better-half. A good, wise bloke is he. Don’t let him know I said this, though. Hehe!

Health Checks done, medications taken and my mind turned to the fodder.

Nosh sorted out, and a mess made doing it, that you would not believe it possible to make just doing seasoned baked beans, potatoes and bacon bits cut up into tiny pieces!

I’d been stirring the bean in the saucepan all the time the bacon was cooking in the oven. Got the potatoes out of the crock-pot and mashed them up and added some herbs, got it in the serving dish. Went to add the bacon to the beans… and realised I’d been stirring the beans with balsamic vinegar but had not turned on the heat to the hob! Set it on high and continued to spoon… By the time it was warm enough, the potatoes had gone cold! Popped the dish in the still warm oven, and washed the things while it rewarmed… Managed to cut me down a fingernail on the steak knife, dropped the washing-up liquid bottle that burst open as it hit the floor… Cleaned that up, by which time the oven had cooled, and the meal was not looking too bright, fresh or appealing. Then had to go to the Porcelain Throne, use it, clean it and myself, medicate things and eventually got around to the meal again. Tsk!

Still, I ate it all the same, added some BBQ sauce to it – which was the hottest part of the whole meal. The word Failure comes to mind!

Washed the pots up, passed some more wind then got the gogglebox on and soon the nodding-off then waking routine set in.