Wednesday 29th November 2017

Russian: Среда, 29 ноября 2017 года

0055hrs: I stirred and sensed the innards rumbling as I lay spreadeagled on the £300 second-hand recliner. Within seconds of my waiting for the brain to activate – there came a most embarrassing Whoopsiedangleplop! No warning arrived for me to respond to, apart from the churning stomach; a messy, frustrating escapage from the rear-end. Shame, Humiliation, mortification, chagrin, ignominy and indignity!

The following paragraph contains details of my Whoopsiedangleplop – please pass by it if you prefer to avoid the lurid details. Thank you.

Already too late, I struggled out of the recliner painfully and made my way to the Porcelain Throne. It really shook me up, when I bent down to remove the clothes, more spurted out – liquified. I’m sorry, but this is how it was. But I shan’t go into any more detail, other than to say the bottom half of the jammies were cut off and thrown away along with the socks and slippers. Much cleaning and freshening-up followed.

I dare not risk doing the cleaning today, after the escapage when I bent down. And I shall not go out anywhere either, far too risky. The dégringolade in my health from last night was worrying a bit.

Took an ADRC capsule with the morning medications, and did the Health Checks. The worrying thing is I cannot find any more tablets as I thought I had in stock. Only three more left now.

The HC readings were a little changed from recent morning ones, but with this instantaneous visit from Trotsky Terence, I think this is to be expected?

Then, as I was making a mug of tea, Splurp! Back to the Throne. Not much and runny in the extreme. Another clean up of me and the wet room required. As I leant down to clean the outer part of the bowl, another involuntary leakage! More cleaning followed.

Got on the computer and finished off the Tuesday Dairy and posted it. Then started on this one. Not for long though, back to the Porcelain Throne. Where is it all coming from? Was it what I ate last night?

I checked the use-by dates on the cobs (20th Jan), franks (16th Dec), lemon fool (2nd Dec) and Lemon yoghourt (14th Dec). All of them had a long sell-by-date. Confused Mode Adopted!

Back again to the Throne. More wind but less content this time, no need for cleaning up the bowl, just me. Hehe!

Made a start on this blog.

Porcelain Throne visit. Oh, ‘eck! Still, a little less messy this time.

I foolishly sent an email to Jenny, asking if she could let them know my interest in going to the Heater Control Tuition classes. Then realised it was only about 0500hrs! I do feel a fool and sorry about that!

Took this picture out of the kitchen window. Despite all my ailments, I could see something beautifulness in it.

Started doing Food and Drink related graphics for each of the TFZers. I might get the graphics done by tonight.

A terrible thirst on me today. I wonder if it is connected to the Trotskies? Still, no chance of me running out of tea bags with the load I brought in while they were on Special Offer. Hehe!

1000hrs: Pressed on with the TFZer Food Themed graphics, Slow hard work it is… but being as I can’t do any jobs or go out thanks to Haemmorhoid Harold and Trotsky Terence, I’ll carry on until I’m too tired.

Off to the Porcelain Throne.

Jenny sent an email saying she would ask about the heater training for me to try and book me in. Bless her.

1300hrs: The workers have now moved down dead level with my flat. The noise is too much to concentrate on the graphicalisationing. Going to get the nosh done early.

Back in a bit.

Didn’t eat it all, and kept the fingers crossed that Trotsky Terence would not disagree with my choice of fodder.

Fell asleep for half an hour after eating. Then off to the Throne once more.

The damned Fire Alert Alarm Strobe and Pillow Shaker activated waking me up. I had no choice but to go through the checks, which meant: Getting up out of the recliner. Looking out of the window to see if any emergency vehicles were outside, tested the door handle with the back of my hand to see if it was hot, it wasn’t, in fact, it was icy cold. Opened the door to listen-out for any alarms, but heard none.

I did the Health Checks and took the medications.

Visited the Porcelain Throne. I’ve got three-quarters of the way through the Lenigrad book, oddly thanks to the Trotskys. Hehe!

I placed the notepad next to the chair and settled once more, and watched some of a Jonathan Creek DVD, and had to extract my lumbering body from the recliner and off to the Throne.

I found this photograph the following morning. I’m a little confused as to why and when I took it.

I had barely settled down again in the chair, and I think I nodded off straight away.