Monday 25th March 2019

Punjabi: ਸੋਮਵਾਰ 25 ਮਾਰਚ 2019

00:25hrs. I woke in a desperate need for a wee-wee! I disentangled my grossly oversized-wobbly-stomached torso and body from the second-hand, ci1968 rickety recliner, stubbed my toe against the large Ottoman, swore silently, and grabbed the EGPWWB Emergency Grey Plastic Wee-wee bucket, and had a wee-wee of the VSHLP (Very-Short-Hosepipe like Painful) variety. Before I had finished, the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived! Off to the wet room, I trudged.

The evacuation was unbelievably significant and voluminous. I feared that the three floors above in the flats may plumbingly get things blocked. Hehehe! It needed a couple of flushes and a bowl of water to clear things away. 

I checked out the pins (legs). As per every other morning, they had transformed into different looking limbs again, from the day before. I’m glad that yellow flesh tinge had changed back to the more natural pale, anaemic tone. The pigmentation on the lower chins had acquired a reddish colour, a few new blood papsules, but the fluid retention had lessened a lot. The knees were not so gnarly either. The leg-ulcer looked like it was about to burst into activity again, slight swelling and this also is turning more red coloured.

What a start to the day!

I returned to the recliner and noticed some guilty signs of nocturnal-nibbling scattered around. Self-loathing and disgust emanated from within! A small almost emptied tub of sweeties lay on the small Ottoman, laughing at me! In the waste bin, was an empty packet of Stilton cheese biscuits and Cheeselets! Crumbs were spread over the cushion, and the carpet will need to be vacuumed later! Now, I felt such self-contempt. Which at this point, any elaboration would be incommunicable, without resorting to language that I do not wish to use. What a prologue to the day’s events!

I got the kettle on and did the Health Checks.

I think that things were confusing me again with the readings. The Sys had tumbled, the Dia shot up, the Pulse to the lowest its ever been, and the temperature at 33.5° was lower than it has been for months?

Hang on, I’ll check in the mirror to see if I’m still here… Yep! Hahaha!

Had a wee-wee, they have now changed into the VSWWW (Very short-Weak-Wee-wee) mode. Then got on with updating the Sunday Inchcock Today post.

Another VSWWW to add to the two I needed while doing the blog, was taken.

I checked the emails. And spent a few moments pondering on today’s needs, which were not a lot, but posed prospective problems to this Nottingham Pensioner. I have to collect the socks and Glide machine from the chemists in Carrington today. I just hope that they will have been delivered by the time I get there. I cannot get back home on the bus afterwards, at least, I imagine I will not be able to get on the bus with the Glide? I must call at the Sherringham Medical Practise on the way to the pharmacy, to ask for a Sample pot. There was something else, but I’ve forgotten what it was. Tsk! I’ve also got to find a way of getting the socks on after doing the ablutions later this morning. That’s going to be fun, although a more suitable word comes to mind than fun, but, I mustn’t use bad language. Haha! I just hope that the wee-wee demands die down before I have to go out.

Made a start on this Inchcock Today.

Got the ablutions sorted out, bins to the rubbish chute. Took a recycling bag down on the way out, dropped it at the caretaker’s door.

Made my way to the Nottingham City Homes, Winwood Heights, Generaloberstesses Wardens Temporary HQ. WC, Holding cells. Rumourmongering Clinic. Sarcasm & Insult distribution area. Tenants Socialisationalistic Area. Telling Inchcock off Zone. Crockery and pottery to be stolen from location, and residents porta-cabin. Where I had a natter with some residents, Doreen, May, Kath and Roy amongst them. Not many laughs this morning, mostly listened to complains and moans.

No Obersturmführeress Warden/Guards, the office all locked-up, blinds down. I hope they are okay. Still, the hut had been opened up.

More of the gang joined us, and we moved out to the bus stop. We mingled with the Winwood Heights mob already at the bus stop. Where I did manage a few laughs and natters. I dropped off in Sherwood and got a loaf of the sliced Polish sourdough bread from the Post Office shop. Then over the road and caught a bus into Carrington.

It was packed to the rafters, and fighting my way to get off of the bus was a challenge! Hehe!

I called into the Sherrington Park Medical Practice and asked for some urine sample bottles, which the lady handed to me. Thanked them and off out to walk down to the Lidl store first, then to pick up the Sock-Glide and socks from the chemist. I bought some Rosti sticks, lemon yoghourt, Melton pork pie and battered sliced potatoes, and paid at the self-serve tills, then out and to the chemist.

Which is where the previously good part of the day ended! They knew nothing about the glide or socks! So, I had to hobble back to the surgery, in search of clarification. They were very busy, and I kept letting folk in who were obviously there for an appointment, and waited until the rush died down before telling my Tale-of-Woe to the first receptionist that came ‘free’. I explained as precisely and accurately as I could, what happened at the Mary Potter Centre and what I was told. She had a lool on her computer and told me to take a seat while she checked things out.

Which I did. After a short-while of my doing the crossword book puzzles, the young lady waved me go to her. Which I did.

It now appears, that the glide and socks are going to be sent to Sherrington Park later, and I will have to go back to the surgery to collect the articles. I assume they will need to show me how to use and make sure that I can use the glide safely? She kindly offered to send me an Email when they arrive, and I can make an appointment to collect them.

My Disappointment and frustration Scale went to Defcon 2! Hehe! And, the feeling that nothing will ever go right medically again permeated through to the grey-cells!

I thanked the receptionist. And decided to walk back to Carrington, partly to get some of the albeit cool, sunshine on my body, and allow me to rid my mind of the twisted thoughts within, and reclaim some form of belief, purpose, faith and confidence.

(It didn’t work like that, of course! Still, no wee-wees were bothering me, so all was not a disaster!

The Nottinghamian Pavement Cyclist and there were many I could photograph in time, or, to be honest, I couldn’t be bothered, I suppose.

So low were my spirits. I should have known better than to even think that anything might go right for me.

Maybe I knew (EQ) all the time that things would not go to plan with the socks and glide. I just keep occasionally failing, to accept that my life of Woe has and will always be frustrating, annoying, failing, defeating, harassing, intruded upon, fraught, perturbing and plagued with my inadequateness and a dearth of any success!

Then, as I had to hobble between a Pavement Parked Royal Mail van, I banged the bruise on my left arm, on the telegraph pole!

I feared that I was having an inner-battle against endogenous depression. I even considered having a nervous breakdown, but I didn’t have the time to. Hahaha!

When I got into Sherwood, the sky and clouds looked so beautiful, although it was not very warm with it. I stopped for a moment for a spot of nephelococcygia. What I found was a duck, in this nephogram on the right.

I wonder if you can see anything?

I was so pleased to see that the Nottingham City Council have now arranged for some meaningful efforts at population control to be activated in Sherwood at last!

I declined their kind offer of walking into the middle of Mansfield Road, all the same!

The plates of meat (feet) were starting to give me a lot of grief. But, that was not a bad thing at all, It helped take away a degree of the moroseness I felt at being let down again with the glide and socks. Thus the self-pity dissipated.

I limped on, and waited at the bottom of Winchester Hill, for the L9 bus.

I took this picture of the clouds opposite the bus stop.

When the bus arrived, it was full of Winwood Heights tenants, some of who greeted me as I got on. A tremendous little chinwagging session tool place and they allowed me to tell them of my medical farce. This made a couple of my fellow residents laugh, I like it when I can give someone a laugh! It cheered me up a bit too.

When we got back to the flats, I joined a little ganglet of about six Woodthorpeonians, on the walk back to the block. They soon left me trailing.

By the time I arrived at the lift lobby, all bar Roy, who no doubt could not fit into the cage with the girls, had gone up in the lift. I snapped him as he monitored the elevators. Haha!

As I waited to chat to Roy, I had a couple of Dizzy Dennis visits, out of nowhere. Bad ones, too. Had a parting laugh with the lad, off the lift and into the flat.

Took the medications, with an extra Ramipril. I’m not sure if these help with the dizzies, but I think they might. A wee-wee, and got the food prepared.

Buttered Polish sliced sourdough bread tomato sarnies, ham hock and some of the potato Rosti sticks. And very nice too! Mind you, I was feeling hungry! I ate everything up. A taste rating of 9.3/10 for this effort.

Whatever followed is unclear. I  woke a few hours after I must have drifted off, the tray and plate on the side seat, the TV on, and the bottle of spring water was almost empty.

I got up for a wee-wee, washed, took the evening medications.

I recall getting my infamously flobby body back into the £300 second-hand recliner. and thinking what a clot I was not to have taken the tray and plate to wash – then having a cracking Dizzy Dennis session. And… Zzzz!