Thursday 21st November 2019

Spanish: Jueves 21 Noviembre 2019

01:40hrs: I semi-woke up, with the mind-blasting away, fretting over yesterday’s Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas, the failure of medics to arrive (Did I get the dates wrong, will they come at all? What to do about it?) Generally, I was in a sad, pitiably pathetic feeling-sorry for myself phase! Which turned into a grumbling, moaning, acceptance of my inabilities to cope with failures, cock-ups, and disappointments. As the fermenting bubbled away in the brain, without the slightest nor inkling of my finding any solutions, the need for a wee-wee arrived to distract me. (And a good job, too!) Off to the wet room.

Having taken an SHLS (Short-Hosepipe-Like-Sensationless) mode of wee-wee, which was unexpected, and with no bleeding from the fungal-lesion, I washed the hands and went to the kitchen.

The knees and Arthur Itis were in a generous mood for me. I got the kettle on and imbibed the medications with water. Made the brew of Glengettie tea, and a spirit of fun emerged from somewhere, momentarily, and I put some of the pills on a plate with a knife and fork, to be photographed with the mug! Thinking it would be humorous. The photo, I could see on the viewer, was shaky-blurred again. I checked the hands carefully, and the mini-shake-shivering was still there, as it was when it started, last night. I hope it doesn’t affect the typing as severely today. If it does, then the Inchcock Today will have to be abandoned.

Then I started to sink back into a depression and worrying about things in general. I sat drinking the tea without turning the computer on, and slowly, very slowly, I fought back the fretting, convincing myself that there is no point in worrying about what you can’t change or improve? That only made me feel worse! I always try to make people feel happy and worry when they are not. I can’t change or even control the Peripheral Neuropathy or the Idiopathic side-effects of it. The venous thromboembolism, the metal ticker valve, the Neuropathic Schuhplattler dancing, RAI Rheumatoid Arthur Itis, the Fungal Lesion bleeding. Not even can I get the Warfarin level right, walk safely unaided, hear properly… on and on I went, rambling to myself about my medical-negatives! The self-indulgent wallowing in self-pity; then, I turned to the Why-Me-Mode. And thoughts became a little less foggy.

As I pondered, why not me? I am not really a worthy person to receive any luck. I’ve done very little in life. Made a mess of it mostly. But I am blessed with an ability to cope with pain, not with worry and fretting, but physical pain. And not having a social life or partner is a good thing (Not really). If any average person were to get all these issues and discomforts, it would affect them more, and their families. I came to realise that it is not the physical problems that are the worst, but the mental ones, and I can’t get help or do anything about them either. I’d overly diagnosed and confused myself!

I hope never to get into a deep-thought session with myself again! It’s a scary, fraught with confusion, turbulence, contradictions, torrents of twisted maniacal unfathomable thoughts in my brain, that are best left alone methinks! So, no answers, solutions found, no plans made, no progress, no hope… and yet I felt a little perkier in myself now. (It doesn’t make any sense, does it, just like life?) Tsk!

There were many clangs, bangs and knocks coming from somewhere close. Not that they bothered me. But such a rarity. The 24/7 humming droning noise all over the place was still with us, that does annoy me. Anyroad-up, I set to on the computer, updating the Wednesday dairy. The finger-ends were not as bad as I thought they might be, although still a little bothersome, calling for much time correcting mistakes. But with not going out Wednesday, there were far fewer photographs to sort out. So I got the whole thing done for about 03.40hrs.

Then went on TFZing on Facebook. Then on the WordPress Reader, and went for another wee, only the second of the day. Anther surprise one. A CMOUSTSTBOWAV (Catching-Me-Out-Unwilling-Slow-To-Start-Then-Blasting-Out-With-A-Venom) version, Phew!

Made what was, the fourth mug of beverage, and got on with starting this post off. After another four or so hours, I had to start making up the templates, another long job.

Got them finished, at last, a real brain-tester that was. Especially with all the myasthenia gravis affected finger-tips hassle.

The ablutions went well, even though I hurried them a bit. The only worry was Little Inchies fungal lesion bleeding, or rather, stopping it bleeding. Applied the Corticosteroid and Germaloid cream afterwards (the first stings like hell, then the second, very cooling and calming).

I prepared things in a hurry, got my shopping list of three items to get from the Poundland Store, Lavender Dettol, Bread and Batteries (For the wet room radio). Got the black bags on top of the trolley, camera in the jacket pocket, bus pass checked, out to the waste chute and to the lifts.

Bit of a farce with the elevators. Lift one was on the 15th floor, lift two on the ground level. Pressed the call button, lift one went down straight by me to the ground floor, lift two, up to the 15th floor, then down missing me to the 11th floor, and down to the ground level. Lift one then went up to the 15th floor again, lift two seemed stuck on the ground floor, lift one came down, and the doors opened. On the fourth floor, a lady got in, and we chatted. It seems she had had a kerfuffle trying to catch a lift as well! At least we had a little smile about it!

Along the link passage to the Winwood Court and into Oberstgruppenfhreress Warden Julie’s and Hauptsturmfhreress Deana’s holding and interrogation office, dropped off some Christmas treats, then out to the bus stop, by gum, it was cold out there! Had a natter at the shelter. Onto the bus, got side-saddle-seated, crossword book out, and all the way to town, I got one answer. Hahaha!

Off the L9 and walked down Queen Street into the Nottingham’s Slab Square. It was a right mishmash again. Temporary overpriced stalls, eateries, rides scattered messily around everywhere. With the ice-rink in the centre somewhere. I could not get in to photograph it on Tuesday, but I found a way in without steps today! I got nestles in a corner of the rink-side for support, and had to take the photos through the side glass, as I could not use the camera with arms outstretched and keep it steady enough. Here are the best shots I could manage. Being the lucky person I am, as I positioned myself for photographicalisationing, a hooter went, and nearly all the skaters disappeared!

I took some photos in the square, then got out back to Long Row and took some pictures.

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I hobbled from the Slb Square, and got to the Poundland Shop, on Wheeler Gate. Where I commenced on an overspending spree… again! But, I did get the batteries, too many maybe? Some Duracell AA for the radio (2x£1.50). And a big pack of 30 Kodak AA batteries for £2!

They did not have any Lavender Dettol, so I got two small bottles of the normal scented. Another drain unblocker (Essential if one lives in my beloved if it can go wrong – it will, Woodthorpe Court. That lies somewhere between the twilight zone and a wormhole slipping through a tear in the fabric of space & the universal continuum, illusion, delusion, & hallucination!) A pack of Warburton’s ready-sliced Wholemeal cobs, some nuts, Cheeslets, Twiglets and yoghourt nuts. Turkey breast slices, and a bottle of Balsamic vinegar. Joined the long queue, got to the self-serve tills, and a young lady put my things through in a flash. I think she thought it would be a lot quicker doing it herself than me fumbling about dropping stuff etc. and free a til up sooner. She was right too! I thanked the gal, but she was too busy to hear me, I think.

I got outside and readjusted the weight distribution of the bought products, between the carrier and the trolley bag.

Back into the Slab Square. I had a walk around taking photo’s, South Parade, Exchange Walk, Exchange Arcade, and out into Long Row.

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I bought a pair of gloves from a stall on Long Row. They were not wrapped like the others, the supposedly stitched on crap labels were half hanging off… but they fitted, and were lovely and warm.

The Exchange walk picture reminded me of the Wailing Wall. With the row of Cash Machines giving out cash and statements that made people wail? Hehehe!

I got to the L9 bus stop just in time and was soon off on my home. Out came the crossword book, and to my amazement, as I flipped through trying to get some answers to the many crosswords still undone, I worked out five… I say Five answers! Smug-Mode-Adopted!

The bus pulled up, away from the kerb behind the one in front at the flats, but the driver had no choice, as cars were parked around the bus turning island again. Frank kindly came over as I got off last and helped me get the trolley down. I thanked him, and walked through the Winchester Court foyer, though the link-passage into the big Social room.

A good few folks in there from the Social Hour earlier, and for a coffee meeting I think. I said Hello to Obergruppenfureress Deana as I passed her and got no reply, she did look busy, bless her.

Through the comfortable warm Winwood to Woodthorpe link corridor, and into the cold Woodthorpe Court lift lobby.

A little chat with a chap going up to the 11th floor, and removed the untouched sign I’d left in case the rice-cooker lead had been delivered, but it hadn’t, got in, no wee-wee needed?  And got the kettle on and took the medications. Put the purchases away, and got the dagwood sarnies made using the wholemeal cobs I’d bought.

Made a salad of sorts. Seaweed, apple, cooked beetroot and the chicken slices and tomato sarnies. Enjoyable nosh that was. A flavour rating of 8.5/10!

The expected weariness and fatigue arrived, and I thought about doing the handwashing, but fell asleep instead. Haha! When I woke up an hour or so later, I knew I was going to regret having to do the handwashing when the morning arrived. I put on an old, rare DVD, a BBC one, The Day of the Triffids, from the TV. I did nod-off a few times of course, but I got to the end, 156 minutes long!

As I turned off the DVD. Pondered on whether or not I needed a wee-wee, and nodded-off, until 01:40hrs. When I needed the wee-wee and Porcelain Throne, urgently!