Wednesday 27th November 2019

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 27ain Tachwedd 2019

23:30hrs: I woke, and assessed the aches and pains that were rampant all over my weak old overweight torso and limbs. Even an enormous headache and toothache joined in the vexing ‘Let’s Annoy-Inchcock-Assault!’ I expected this might happen. (Well, not the toothache and headache) With whatever occurred at the After-Stroke Physio session, and the Victoria Centre yesterday. But it could have been worse I thought, it has in the past.

After a few minutes ruminative thinking and considerationalisationing, I was about to tackle the freeing of my onerously flobby-flatulent body from the second-hand, £300, rickety recliner. I noticed a rather large amount of debris scattered about from the nocturnal-nibbling! Oh, dear! Guilty-Mode-Engaged! I’ve got some cleaning up to do here. I recognised some of the crumbs on the stomach, chair and carpet; walnuts, flaky puff pastry and a couple of chocolate peanuts, that made their presence felt from within the folds of tummy-flab when I tried to move my mass. The Phlebotomy Nurse is coming today as well! Tsk! How come, I cannot remember getting out of the recliner to fetch the tubs of food, bringing them back? And, the walking stick still in the place I left it leaning against the Ottoman? I’d had a nibble-feast, and cannot remember anything about it?

I edged the flobby-bulk-hunk body from the recliner, and as I stood-up to gain some balance, I found out that I was wrong about not using the stick, in fact, I did use the walking stick on my overnight food search, the four-pronged metal one. I just stubbed my toe on it, as it lay as if in a booby-trap mode, half-hidden under the foot of the chair! Now I am getting worried about myself!

Having caught my balance and started to move off, two things happened at the same time. The need for the Porcelain Throne became evident, and Dizzy Dennis had me swaying about clutching at anything solid enough to support me. But the need to get to the wet room, made me foolishly proceed in that direction at a fair rate of knots, with some knocks! By the time I reached to door to the Throne room, only perhaps fifteen or so paces, I’d banged my right elbow, shoulder and leg against the door frame, then the elbow and shoulder again on the wet room door, and hastily downed jammie-bottoms and nearly missed the Porcelain Throne as I sat down!  It was a close thing, I nearly ended up on the floor, and that would have been terribly messy, for the evacuation started on it own accord again! Yes, the Peripheral and Polyneuropathy was playing up, and trying to send me to my right (the last movement before the nerve-ends failed) my the neurotransmitters not telling the brain I wanted to go straight forward! (Yes, I looked it up. Haha!)

However, the evacuation was swift, not too messy, and no pain at all!, Got a wash-up, and off to get the kettle one and took the medications, with an extra Codeine 30g, to counter the tooth and headache.

I tackled the updating of the Monday blog. Got it all done in record time considering the photographs that needed to go on. Sent it to WordPress. Went on the WordPress Reader.

I got the ablutions tended to, as the Morrison delivery is due twixt 06:00>07:00hrs. One of least accident-prone ablution session for a long time. The dropsies were only two, no bleeding from Little Inchies lesion, I won the sock-glide struggle and no toe stubbing! Smug-Mode-Assumed!

Got the handwashing done, rung and hung. Just the one mishap, the nerve-ends lack of messages to the brain, made me drop the bowl while I was emptying it into the sink. 06:50hrs: As I was cleaning things up, the Morrison delivery arrived. Substituted Braeburn crap apples for Cox’s. Money-off Voucher not valid, they say the wrong number! Crabs and Grobblecrap!

The Phlebotomy nurse has not let me knew what time she is calling. So, I might be in all day again! Crabs and Grobblecrap! Will I ever have another decent day before I clock-out? Grrr!

I went on CorelDraw to do some advance graphicalisationing. I was doing reasonably well. Two hours later and: Crabs and Grobblecraps!

So, not being able to go out with the refuse and recycling gear for fear of missing the Phlebotomy nurse, or the Medicine Management lady, nor get through to the surgery to find out if the appointment has been cancelled or not. I made use of the time now spare thanks to Mr Fires pathetic service. I called the phlebotomy team to make sure someone was visiting me today, just in case I had to scuttle out to the surgery for the blood test. The lady investigated and told me when she returned that someone SHOULD be coming today, POSSIBLY before 13:00hrs. Marvellous! I think this all part of this weeks NHS plan, to either drive me crazy, make me commit suicide or just plain vindictiveness on the part of the Lord. And his wanting to apply as much as possible frustrations, mental and physical, then do an autopsy on my body. Possible that it might be a punishment for a previous life? Oh heck. I hope I wasn’t Stalin in my last existence! I might be losing it again here! Haha!

Well gone 13:00hrs, no one showed up yet. Stuck inside again. I started to mope over this week’s cock-ups:

• Mon: I had to go down to beg the ILC Deana to phone the Police for me about the Pegasus form, then sort the envelope out for me.
• And she phoned the Medication Mangement people for me, about a double-booking. Well looked after I was.
• Then I nipped out to post the police letter.
• Back to the flat, and I’d missed the Phlebotomy nurse, who according to the note called at 09:30hrs, and it was then 0934hrs, talk about bad luck! The letter said I have to ring the surgery for an appointment.
• So, after many attempts, I got through to them. I was told I had to go to the surgery for the blood test on Thursday at 11:40hrs.
• The phlebotomy team called later on and said they would make an appointment again and will come Wednesday (today). I asked if she knew what time, so I could make sure I was in. She said: ‘I’ve no idea, the nurse will ring you before coming’. She didn’t!
• Tuesday: Worra day. Got up and collapsed in a heap, landing entangled with the walking stick and swivel chair! Dizzy Dennis.
• Got soaked in the rain going to town. Nearly fell off the bus getting off.
• Had a Dizzy Dennis attack in Tesco.
• Then I found myself on the floor in the shopping mall as I was leaving, people all around me, and no idea how or what happened.
• Trod on a loose paving slab on Goldsmith Street, and got the foot and socks drenched!
• This made the After-Stroke session hard physically and mentally, and I have many blank spots about what happened in the Physio hall?
• Got up this morning, no nurse arrived. I was bewildered, had the tumble.
• Accifauxpa with losing grip and dropping the bowl of handwashing.
• The Morrison order gave unwanted substitutes, and the apples were all bruised.
• Morrison did not take off the Voucher for £10 saving.
• I rang the Phlebotomy to check that a nurse was coming, told she should be here by 13:00hrs, it is now 13:25hrs, no show.
• So, with the last INR reading of only 1.6. Point .01away from the Red level. Christ, that is so close to having to use the Anoxaprin injections, but what can I do?
• I then lost the internet again.
• A headache and toothaches have been with me all day.
• And I’ve just hit my knee of the sock glide when I went for a wee-wee!
• I’ve felt cold all day, although the thermometer reads 20°.
  
• Following on later: The nurse rang, she’s not coming today, but (supposedly anyway) in the morning, well not morning, twixt 10:30 to 12:30hrs. Crabs and Grobblecrap!
• I must remember Thursday’s much-rearranged arrangements: 08:30hrs: Podiatrist st Sherwood Health Centre – City Care. Leoni Mee has been Cancelled! Rearranged for Wed 4th @ 09:30>12:00hrs – Phlebotomy Nurse sometime after 10:30hrs.

Forgive me while I top myself… no, I’d better not! If I did some miraculous event would take place that was lucky for me; Hang on, how would I know anyway… if luck or even nothing going wrong took place, the shock of it would probably see me-off! 

I need some help here. Depression and confusion are winning the battle for life, and my resilience is on the wane. I’ll try phoning the Doctors again… That was wishful thinking. 

Ah well. I’ll make a mug of tea… Ah, the landline is ringing… Guess who it was? Fancy that and Crabs and Grobblecrap! I’ll stop communicating shortly, no need to say why is there. Gawd I’m pissed off! She is now coming on Thursday Crabs and Grobblecrap! Blimey, I’m feeling cold in here. Toothache getting bad, the headache still here but no worse.

Had enough now, turned off the computer. Spat, swore and tried not let myself get angry at my hopeless, helpless situation.

Got the bags made up and to the waste chute, the made-up a recycling and glass bag and took them down to the caretaker’s room. I was actually angry now, with life’s tribulations increasing, and my ability to sort them, none-existent.

Got the nosh prepared. Baked beans flavoured with malt vinegar, sugar, Texan BBQ sauce, three wholemeal cobs with a Cumberland Sausage square in each one, and a bonus one in with the beans. Excellent! A tasteless unordered foul Braeburn apple and a Lemon yoghourt to follow.

Taste-Rating 8/10, I’ll just have to hope the next Porcelain Throne visit isn’t too adventurous or runny. Haha!

This was the highlight of another frustrating day.

A short Ode to Inchies life!

How much, can one man take?

Before he finally does break?

Good lucks, unknown to him and fake,

He awaits the Earthquake’s arrival,

Not bothered about his survival,

Eating his out-of-date, burnt pigeon steak,

And spots coming down, a snowflake,

He’s losing his grip, for heaven’s sake!

So he has a mug of tea and a lemon-curd cake,

In his recliner, picking over life’s connotations,

And falls asleep, missing his medications,

Wakes up, needing a wee-wee, and having the shakes!

TTFN