Saturday 23 May 2020

Maori: Tarei 23 Mei 2020

02:50hrs: Woke finding I had a touch of involuntary Clinomania. I must have nodded off five or six times, waking, nodding repeatedly. On the final awakening, the need for my use of the Porcelain Throne was made apparent, and a smidge of panic overcame me; with the belief that I would never make it to the bowl on time. Yet another change in circumstances, Trotsky Terence had retaken control over the innards!

The rigmarole of freeing my scarily-obesely stomached body from the recliner to the wet room was a rushed, bloody, painful and difficult excursion. (Little Inchies fungal lesion was flowing the red stuff)

Things activated, by Trotsky Terence, I had no in part how things went, the moment I got seated. All over in seconds, but a mess like never before had to be sort and cleaned afterwards. The cistern did not cope with clearing things and had to be flushed a few times, and buckets of water added, to assist it! Cor Blimey, worra struggle!

I was left with an acute stomach ache after the evacuation. But there was was no signs of it before. Grigglebogblowit! The cleaning and medicating of Little Inchies fungal lesion brought tears to my eyes! Tsk!

I hobbled to the kitchen, thinking how the feet and toes didn’t seem so bad this morning? I got the kettle on, and Dizzy Dennis paid me a visit, but no Whoopsies or Accifauxpas caused.

I got the medications out and realised I’d not taken last night’s doses, (Well, I never, what a shock, me Forgetting something? Hehehe!) So I took them, and made a point to try and remember to take the morning ones belatedly, later on. During the ten-minutes or so that I was in the kitchen, I had to utilise the GPEB (Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket), twice! Both were of the HLSBS (Hosepipe-Like-Short-Blasting-Splashback) style. I took the bucket with me to the computer, confident that it would be needed again soon. No doubt about it, the intestines were going to make me suffer today, with Trotsky Terence, and now Wee-Wee Willy going into overdrive!

I sat to get the computer going, and two things registered with the grey-cell box. The feet and toes started stinging ‘after’, I’d sat down and taken my weight off of them? Secondly: The volume of the annoying mystery ‘Hum’ from outside, as so loud, I got up and checked to see if the fire brigade had an engine going outside!

As I stepped into the balcony pod, I heard the windows rattling, and yet there didn’t seem much wind when I opened one to take the Chestnut Walk shot, the ‘Hum’ was viciously powerful!

Then I needed another Wee-wee! This one was a tad different. Of the STSBDWTE (Slow-To-Start-But-Didn’t-Want-To-End) variety. Again, after the release, the stomach began to sting and rumble?

I made-up the template, then made a start on this blog, thus far. Then began updating the Friday blog. Which, in between taking a variety of frequent types and colour-moded wee-wees, I got finished! Despite Shoulder-Shuddering Shirley doing her best to delay me. Naughty Shirley!

I Pinterested some photos, went on the WordPress reader, then on TFZer and Winwood Heights Facebooking. Another wee-wee, and off to get the stand-up Ablutions sorted out.

What an absolutely cheer-making, super-duper, crackerjack, unbelievable, corking, almost bleeding, Whoopsiedangleplop and Accifauxpa-free session!

Colin Cramps kicked off as I began to get the soaking flannel out of the sink. But even this only lasted a few minutes, and he was off and gone! Smugness Mode Coming On! 

Cleaning the teeth, I began to think that I had slipped back in time somehow, and did not have the stroke, Peripheral Neuropathy, Toothache, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley, Ane Gyna, Reflux Roger or Shaking Shaun at all!

None of these bothered me for the duration of the ablutions! Definitely a Smug-Mode Approaching!

The teeth cleaning was completed without any droppings, or gum bleeding! Fair enough, the shaving did bring a few of both, but still just two knicks and three razor dropsies. The washing of the skinny limbed, whacking great flobby-bellied torso and legs as far as I could reach, produced only one minor bruise. I dropped the soap and clouted my head on the sink as I went down to retrieve it. You can’t win ’em all!

The drying off went without any bother, nothing knocked over, no Dennis Dizzies or Nicodemus’s nerve-end use loss! (Come on, I must be either dead or dreaming this!)

Now, when it came to the medicating, I was expecting the ailments to produce painful, pestering-predicaments and perhaps the odd agonistic moment. But, No! Even Little Inchies removal of the crusted blood, produced next to no blood when the usually horrendously hurtful applicating of the Daktacort was done, there was hardly any stinging at all! I wanted to cry with joy, laugh out loud… But how can this happen? To me, with my luck? Better make the most of it, I thought!

Then, and it had to happen. Getting the PPs on, I lost my balance, went over backwards, bounced off of the door, and fell on the shower chair and Sock-Glide! I let myself get overconfident with all the none accidents happening? Getting back up, was at that time, an impossibility. The back of the head and right shoulder took most of the impact, but I soon realised I could not get to the wristlet alarm to call for help, at least for a while until I regained my equilibrium. (Is that the right word? I’ll look it up later)

However, minutes later things, well I did, felt much better, and I was glad I couldn’t get to the alarm. Calling for help and not needing it, ‘Crying-Wolf’ is not a good thing to commit. As things came together, I realised I could have reached the picker-upperer (That Jenny donated to me when I broke my other one, Tsk!), I keep it in the wet room, and from where I lay, could have used it to get the wristlet. (I’m glad I didn’t think of it earlier).

I did use it, to grab the walking stick, and in a bit of a messy Heath Robinson style, and after some faffing about, I got back up to a semi-perpendicular stance.

Amazingly, the miracles of this morning had not finished. For after cleaning up the chair and glide, and checking myself over, the only part of my anatomy giving me any real grief was the shoulder, and both Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna had kicked off. Could have been so much worse! The legs were fine, although the feet and toes were stinging.

I wondered for a moment, had all the ailments got together, and agreed to lay-off of me this morning, on purpose? To get me into a confident mood it which I’d leave myself open for a guaranteed Whoopsiedangleplop? Hehehe! Only kidding about thinking that. Well…

I think I will check to see if I can pay for, if available, a fully waterproof wristlet alarm, that I can wear when washing or showering, just in case this happens again. Off to the kitchen, and took this photograph of the beautiful sky outside. I think I’ve been lucky this morning, and there can’t be a lot of it left. The wind is terrible again, howling!

I made a brew and remembered to do the morning medications I’d forgotten about earlier. I think the HP readings were good, considering what I’d just gone through. The thermometer worked for once, showing a 33.3° I must say the tastes nice in these mugs that Jenny gave me ♥.

Back to the computer, Duodenal Donald calming down now.

I got an email from Iceland, telling me to check the email to see changes. So, I did. There was only the Wholemeal Deli Rolls that will be short-delivered, and I have no worry over that.

I checked on the Amazon email. Now it tells me that the Clementine juice is expected to be delivered twixt today and Tuesday? No tracker on it, though? Suspicions aroused! But I can go to the site on Wednesday for a refund? Mmm?

The intercom rang, luckily I was on my way for yet another wee-wee, and I heard it. T’was the Iceland delivery arriving.

I nipped to the window and took this shot of the van, I’ve no idea why, but it seemed worth it at the time?

The chap arrived, and asked me how I put up with all the noise? Which confused me a tad. I got the bags into the kitchen. In there, I realised what he was talking about with the noise. Someone is drilling something somewhere close by. But it didn’t sound too loud to me, of course since the chap mentioned it, I hear it all the more. Hehehe!

There seemed a lot of things on that order. So, I went through them and soon realised I was going to have problems with getting all the items in the freezer. And a bit of ingenuity was going to be needed if I was to get them into the available space.

I had to take some products out of their boxes, to free-up some space. The orange lollies, the quarter-pounder beefburgers, (already in the freezer), and the Whitefish fillets in crispy batter.

This was a messy and fiddly job. The worst part of it, I had to throw away a half-packet of Sweet potato fries to make enough space for the incoming food. But, I thought it was a good idea, and felt semi-proud of my resourcefulness in the cunning plan.

As you can see in the picture, the refrigerator and freezer could take no more.

There was not even room to get one more lollipop in! So I ate it! Hahaha!

In the bottom drawer, I felt the bag of Petit Pois slit as I crammed it into the corner.

Odds are, I’m going to forget this, and in a couple of days, I’ll go into this freezer and just grab at them, and have a right mess on my hands to clear up? Mind you, I might remember… nae, no chance!

I reckon the noise that’s just started again will be Herbert. It’s start-stop with long periods of grinding. I wonder what he’s making?

The next photo is one I accidentally took not knowing. Haha!

I turned my attention to the fridge items next, and there were only a few of them. Chicken thighs, that spread, got to be butter, but it’s not, pork and pickle mini-pork pies and some Richmond skinless sausage. I only ordered these, cause I’d not seen any for ages, and it’s been many years since I ate any.

Then I got the bits in the cupboards. Instant mash with cheese and chives, mint bikkies, Cheesy Cheddar biscuits, black waste bags and kitchen towels. I also ordered (apparently), a bag of ‘Wasabi Assorted Nibbles’, whatever they are.

If anyone in the flats would like them, first come, first given. I’ll take a photo of them, so you know what they are. Hang on a tick! Here they are.

I don’t know what I meant to order, but not these. Judging by the ingredients, they might be too spicy for my tastes. Wasabi peas (40%) Whatever they are? Starch, sugar, salt, Chilli, Horseradish, Garlic, Glucose, Capsicum and many more on the packet label. I’ll hang onto them for a few days. I don’t like throwing food away, but they are not my cup of tea, I’m sure.

I got things cleared and went to go back on the computer, I opened the balcony door, which proved to be a bad idea. The wind howled through from balcony to the kitchen; or the other way around. I thought I’d better close the kitchen windows, they were only just ajar. I had to laugh, even if I hit my poorly shoulder on the door frame, when the kitchen roll on the dispenser, hit me in the face! Har-har! Blown by the wind! Fortunately, there was not much of roll left, but the wind had unwound all of it.

And I read about people who are getting bored with their isolating? I could do with a bit of bored! Giggle-laugh!

The injured shoulder was getting a bit more bothersome, so I made a brew, and took an extra Codeine 60mg. I’ll skip the evening one, don’t want to take too many.

I pondered over what to have for nosh later. After much differing, procrastination and faffing about, I decided on battered fish on the bread rolls, with tomatoes, a lemon mousse to follow, then maybe even, an orange sucker? By gum, I lead a good life!

Back again top the computing. The warm williwaw winds were still howling. I shut the balcony door, but could still hear it. It must be bad for anyone with good hearing.

I tended to getting the fish cooked for the roll sarnies.

Oh, very dearie me! Taking the tray of fish out of the oven, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters let me down, and I dropped the tray. Boggleknappers! I pushed my body forwards, trapping the tray between my stomach and the oven… amazingly, more worried about losing the battered fish than any injury.

I grabbed at the few fish lumps from the floor to retrieve them, hitting my already injured shoulder against the stove. Inspected the food, and decided it would do, and began to put the salvaged fodder on the plate… Argh! The message had belatedly got through to the brain, that I had burnt my wobbly-over-fleshed tummy! Hahaha!

Got the Germolene in action. I’ll take a photo later (I did, but not until the morning).

In the melee, I forgot about taking the evening med’s Klutz! I was more interested in the delightful looking feast awaiting my attentions on the plate! I had a borborygm on me. Battered Basa fish balls, and Whiting fillets in crispy batter. All I had with them was tomatoes and some white cobs.

A can of the San Benedetto, Prima Sremitura Clementina drink. What a mouthful! Haha!

I watched an old (1996) Euro football match, twixt England and Spain. It was very depressing, realising than Englan still play in the same, error-ridden style nowadays. Well, they will I hope, after the, and if the Coronavirus is beaten.

I kept nodding off, of course. And boy, did I have a thirst on me! During the match, I drank the Clementina and two bottles of made-up spring water and orange cordial. Then fetched a drink of milk from the fridge!

I did the pots. The wind was still blowing heavily, as I turned off the computer, and got settled in the second-hand, c1968, not working, broken by Zyrophobia suffering, supercilious Brother-in-law Pete, when flat-searching, finding and taking my valuables. At the same time, I was the hospital after the stroke, and the thought storms began.

I’d got a thin quilt over my naked, anaemic, ailment tortured, aching, phenomenally heavy and flobby-stomached body. But it had to come off, the fibre on the material was catching of the overgrown Howard Hughes-like painful toenails.

But thankfully, my growths are not that bad… yet! I must try again to find someone to cut the nails for me. I’ll inquire (if I can get an answer this time), at the Sherwood Health Centre on Elmswood Gardens to see if they are open for feet treatment again after the lock-down.

I spent ages trying to get-off to kip. But eventually did… but had to keep getting up for wee-wees!

Globdangleristions!