♫ How do you solve a problem like Marie…? ♫

Tuesday 27th October 2020

Hungarian: 2020 Október 28, Kedd

00:45hrs: I awoke to the welcoming stings of the new rear-end furuncle, which was closely matched by Harold’s Haemorrhoids smarting away. “I thought, well, another good day on the way!” Hehehe! 

The regulation need for a wee-wee arrived, and I removed the mountainously-bellied body, with the thin dangly legs and arms, out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, rickety, rusty, not working, obnoxiously beige-coloured recliner, caught my balance (very smoothly this morning!) So, I left Metal-Mickey (the four-pronged walking stick) behind, and cautiously poddled to the wet room.

Again, not a productive visit at all, barely a few seconds of a weak unwilling, dribble. Tsk! Then the nose started to bleed?

Still, it gave me a chance to clean and medicate the poor old furuncle and the piles, and have a look at the bruising from the door shoulder-charging and sliding down of bruise. No pain, even when I pressed the Phorpain gel in it, and it was clearing up so fast. Great!

As I set about doing the Health Checks, I had to stop myself from using the Enoxparin hypo, that is no longer needed, now the INR level had gone up to 2.0, although the target is 3.2. I have a feeling the injections will be required again after next Monday’s blood results come in. The contactless thermometer read a healthy 3.38°c.

The BP machine results showed the SYS at 164, a smidge high, methinks, but it has often been a lot higher over the last few weeks or so. I took the morning medications with spring water.

I noticed the moon was showing through the clouds. (I can be quick like that, sometimes, I spotted the moon was out on Tuesday 28th, 1956, you know. Hehehe!) I took a few photographs to try and get a decent one; these were the only two that were so-so!

Then, got the computer on. Uploaded pictures from the camera onto CorelDraw to resize and sort them, and get them onto the WordPress gallery.

As I stood up to go for another wee-wee, Peripheral Pete’s right leg offered forth the usual warning signs of an involuntary dancing session was about to start, so I took and kept Metal Mickey with me from then on. To the wet room and just as yesterday, the second visit was a marathon?

I made the first mug of the day, of Thompsons Punjana tea, I had thought of having a drink of the decaffeinated rubbish tasteless, weak tea, but the thought of it almost made me puke. Then, I made a start on this blog up to here and then began to update yesterday’s post.

T’was a long slog, not that any of the ailments bothered or hindered me much, I was having difficulty in concentrating. Mind you, getting up for a few wee-wees, set Furuncle Fred of, of course, painful!

Getting the Dioctyl™ capsules to take, I spotted the rain was drizzling down, a little mist seemed to be spreading all around the flats, and I had an unintended little Phlutt! It escaped from the rear-quarters; two things worthy of mentioning about this enforced activity; One, the horrible stink, followed seconds later by a fair-share of agony from Furuncle-Fred! Life can hold surprises of the most unexpected types!

I pressed on and got the updating finished, and the blog posted to WordPress. Had some brekkers, well, a packet of Quavers, and two mini-jam rolls. And felt that either Furuncle-Fred or Harolds Haemorrhoids were bleeding, that wet warm feeling, you know. Well, maybe you didn’t, but you do now. Hahaha!

I decided to get the ablutions done, and then I can investigate the medical problems properly afterwards. Off to the wet room, and what a long session, it turned out to be!

ABLUTIONALISATIONING INCIDENT REPORT

• Before I even got the teeth cleaning started, I had to dive for the Porcelain Throne. Which was brilliant, cause I was only two paces (or five of my limps), to reach in, and did so in time!
  
• A right time-consuming job to clean up afterwards; Messy, a lot of it, khaki in colour, and it left a hell of a stink behind it! 
• Got things sorted, but it needed two fillings of the tank before the items were flushed-away on the third try. Tsk!
  
• Got teggies done without a single bit of bother, and just two dropsies! Oh, yes!
• Now hear this! Now hear this! The shaving went with only the one dropsy – and no, I say No, nicks or cuts at all! I couldn’t believe it, and I was there! A Super-Duper-Smug-Mode engaged!
  
• The medicationalisationing wasn’t so lucky, or pain-free, though. I checked out, as best I could, the rear end bleeding problems. It was I think, just Harold Haemorrhoids that were bleeding, but the boil was the more tender problem. Getting the two creams needed on without mixing
  
• I took two snaps of the Enoxaparin injection blotches. Left and right side of the bulbous, flabby, massive, wobbly belly. A terrible sight!
  

It was raining heavier now; the Sainsbury driver is going to get wet. He arrived moments later. As Victor Meldrew used to say… “I Can’t Believe it!”

As the chap put the things into the box for me; he flattened my cream cakes, the not properly frozen cornets ran all over the other stuff, a bottle of toilet cleaner leaked and wen onto the yoghourts… I got the things through to the kitchen to salvage and sort out!

I found the tomatoes had been squashed, I threw away the toilet cleaner and yoghourts, some bleach had gone on the cans of chilli as well, but that didn’t matter, apart from my having to spend so long sorting them out! Grrr! I was growing angrier and angrier! Especially as I’d given the driver a can of plonk and thanked him nicely!

Then I found the substitutes: Marmite Cheese Bites – None – Subbed: Cheese minis light?

Carnation extra thick cream – Subbed Carnation evaporated milk!

Caramelised onion & Balsamic vegetable and nibbles, five x20g – Subbed 1x100g onion and vinegar rice chips.

Pedal bin liners 30ltr – Subbed Recycled 40ltr Pedal bin liners.

I truly hope this bit of Whooppsiedangleplopping from Sainsbury’s, will put-off, deter any idiot who is thinking of using Sainsbury’s ‘Sod the customer!’ service in the future. 

To add insult to it injury: They say, “IF your substitute is more expensive, AND is covered by out Substitution Promise, we’ll give you a voucher for the difference to use on your next online grocery order! Well, that’s as plain as mud for me! With such disastrous substitutions and all the damaged, and soaking wet goods delivered, they have the gall to think and suppose that I will be using them again to get a few pennies back? Ha!

There, I feel a little less irked now I’ve gotten rid of that verbiage drivel! Swine! I felt treated like shit, didn’t think I had the hatred left in me? Likely the Enoxaparin encouraged my venom for Sainsbury’s?

I checked on the now gathered together in the saucepan Chill-Con-Carne, with added tomatoes, Thanks Jenny!, onions, a little extra gravy, and a cup of tomato & basil stock. I’m getting into this experimenting nowadays with the ‘Chilli’ meals’.

I now have a decent stock of the canned chillies, which are not as interesting as the homemade ones, but save tons of time, and are okay with some added prefered flavourings. I may try some leeks to add when I can get some.

Note the can on top of the pile of different brands? That is chilli with wedges. I found it at the back of the cupboard, and the use-by-date is only a few days from terminating. Hehe! So, it looks like that’ll have to be used next.

The Hubbards ((Unfortunately a Sainsbury generic label) are the mildest, perhaps my favourite. The Morrisons Saver ones are a little stronger, and more in the tin, too. The Princes, I have not tested yet. No doubt about it, the expensive one with the potato wedges is far the strongest flavour. There can’t be too much chilli in the can, with chips in there too?

I’ll make another brew; the last one was what I had delivered from Sainsbury’s, Yorkshire Decaffeinated. They delivered that undamaged and dry (See it can be done!) It was horrible but not as bad as the own-label one I bought earlier!

So, credit where it’s due!

Got five waste bags to the bin. Then called Jenny to advise her I was coming down with some ‘bits’ for her, to make use of, from the appallingly shoddy, damaged Sainsbury order (I hope I can get over this annoying sense that I’ve been mistreated by Sainsbury’s). I know Jenny will make proper use of them. She helps others out a lot and knows the deserving cases. I slipped some plonk in with the other things, as a treat for Jen, Doris and Frank. I got down alright in the lift, dropped the carrier outside the apartment door, and back to the elevator to get back up…

It was very surreal (I think that’s the word), trying to get the lift, several times it passed me on its way down, then came up to the 13th floor, and had folks in it when it got to me, no room, let it go. It came up again to the 13th floor, then the 15th, and down to me at the 9th, as the doors opened, I was glad they did, because I was starting to worry about the pan of chilli I’d left on low on the stove.

The cage came down, and I pressed the 12th-floor button – but it went down to the 4th floor, picked a lady up, who went down with me to the ground floor. The 12th storey light was still lit, and eventually, I got up to my floor and into the flat.

Checked the chilli, congealed now at the bottom of the pan, as I anticipated, so I gave it a good stirring with the wooden spoon, to break it up a bit, then made up and added some more gravy to it, agitated it well, and passed wind.

Then the chimes of Dusty Springfield’s ♫ I only want to be with you ♫ rang out from the doorbells. Josie returned her Sunday lunch things. She told me she had enjoyed the nosh, and loved the extra-cheesy, buttered mashed potatoes on her plate last Sunday, which pleased me, hearing that. It makes the time and effort all so worthwhile.

I got the meal in the dish on the tray and added the resurrected, reformed, cream cakes, so kindly crushed for me by Sainsbury’s… I really must try to get this maltreatment of Sainsbury’s out of my mind!

I consumed it with relish. It was not all that tasty with my having to add some gravy to it when it coagulated while I was playing in the lifts trying to get back to the flat, Hehehe! But it enjoyable enough, a flavour rating of 7/10, all the same.

I got the saucepan and dishes soaking in the sink, and I may have to try dynamite and the angle-grinder to free up the inner-coated saucepan, later. Hehe!

I took the medications, got washed, medicationalised various parts of the body in need of the same, the jammie-bottoms on, and climbed into the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner. Within minutes I’d nodded-off, into a deep sleep and was dreaming of something or other…

And the landline burst forth and flashed! Boy, did I not want to answer it! Why does this happen so often? Have the famous Woodthorpe Court, ghosts, hobgoblins, boll-weevils, aliens, gremlins, and Karakia-cursing entities, no compassion at all! Argh! It was the Doctors surgery receptionist, checking that I’d received the updated dosages for the Warfarin. “Yes, thank you”, I replied. Rang-off, and tried to get back to sleep – a futile idea!