♥ A TFZers posh Hoedown! ♥

Sunday 13th December 2020

Afrikaans: Sondag 13 Desember 2020

01:30hrs: I woke gently this morning for once. I lay in the same distorted, wonky position I woke-up in and pondered: will I be up to making the meal for Josie? ‘Yes, I feel better than last night!’ Aha, a positive answer to myself! That was a good start! 

Then, of course, the negative prospective-aspects of what perhaps lies ahead came to mind. (It’s my lack of confidence, and track record of Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas, that take over the mind, you know!) I mentally planned my tactics, of how best to tackle getting the elephantine body on its feet!

As I moved my mass of a blubbering, over-stomached body into a position ready for clambering out of the recliner, I became aware that I may just have been doing some nocturnal-nibbling? The nuts fell out of the folds of my dangling, over-proportioned midriff! Guilty-Mode-Adopted!

 I was most delighted with my success in rising to my feet, with a certain positiveness and lack of accifauxpas or injury. An inner smile began, I should have been warned when this happens! I rose and supported a dollop of fat, that was my torso, as I caught my balance… at that moment, the need for a wee-wee arose, so without doing the one-minute balancing exercise as I usually do, I made for the nearby NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket).

The swivel chairs metal legs were attacked my left foots big toe – Yes, a Toe-Stubbing!  But not a common or garden one this time, oh, no! Because I can’t get my toe-nails cut, the toe actually stuck my the mail, in the chair leg corner where the metal joins with the plastic! I now have an artistically bent big toenail. It was a bit of a farce, but I got it freed, by then I’d got SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley), CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella), and BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda) all kicking off, due to the bending I’d done! I’ll see if I can get a decent photo of the toe later when I do the ablutions!

Getting sorted and to the bucket so late, I was caught out by the PMD Pre Micturition Dribble, then the actual wee-wee was so long in ending, I had the AMD After Micturitional Dribble to contend with! I had to hobble to the wet room, wash, change into new PPs, and hope the deodorant I used worked! This was not a good start to the day!

I got the kettle on and did the Health Checks. The Harpin Xian Di Thermometer, gave a good body temperature out, a decent again, same for the third day on the trot, in the green, 36.7°c. Well, at least one things gone right up to now. Hahaha!

The Boot’s Sphygmomanometer then showed up with slightly better readings than yesterday. SYS at 159. SIA 81, and the pulse had gone down to 84. Blimey, two things have gone, alright! It’s worrying this is, you know. I’m bound to pay for it!

I got the computer on and cracked away at updating the Saturday blog. Which took far longer than it should have, due to the presence of Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, SSS and now they have been joined by Colin Cramps. (A rarity during the morning, he usually and regularly has a bash at me in the evenings?) Things seemed to be getting back to the normal, now – Harrassfull and Annoyingly bothersome!

Not that it bothers me, of course. I’m used to such calamities, pain, failures, embarrassments and the like. I never sulk or feel sorry for myself. Oh, no!

03:45hrs: Finally, after around two-and-a-half hours, so many wee-wees I couldn’t guess at how many, corrections made on the blog, and now, Anne Gyna has joined in with the other ailments, the stomach rumbling and grumbling, that promises a battle against the pain and possibly a victory for Trotsky Terence today, when (if), I do get to the porcelain throne, I got the updating finished!  Bit of a mouthful there, sorry!

I posted it off to WordPress. Pinterested a couple of photos, and sent off the Email link. Then caught up on Facebooking. Made a brew of Glengettie, and took the medications, and made up the evening dosages. And made a start on this blog.

The weak wee-weeing was worse than yesterday, and it was time to empty the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). Let’s take it as such, I’ll try not to mention them again.

After a few hours at it, I was beginning to feel cold, so I bravely tackled the… wait for it… the SOCK GLIDE, to get some diabetic-hosiery on to keep me warmer, using the green-beast for the first time in months!

So long had passed since my last being injured with the glide, that I had foolishly part-forgot about why I stopped using the near-human android-like damned thing. Not only is it dangerous, but to me, it’s a simulacrum, almost alive, and vindictive! The lurking adiaphorous nature of it! I swear I saw it smile when it trapped my finger this morning! Of course, this could be due to my losing control of myself, en route to my eventual complete insanity? Maybe also my powers of reasoning, comprehension, logicality and lucidness? Or summat else.

I thought that my tackling this previously blood-letting, bruise-giving, subungual hematoma causing, finger-trapping, vicious green-coloured sock glide, without a helmet, goggles or any leather gloves on, was a heroic thing to do. Mind you, I don’t have any helmet, goggles or leather gloves!

I bravely gritted my teeth and got the first sock on the gripper – as instructed, I then sat down on the bog, and pulled up the frame, causing pain once again. In fact, it caused BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda) to kick-off! I got the job completed, the got the second sock, had to stand up again to get the wear in the gripper… it didn’t go too well!

Not too much blood loss, I expect the bruising will no doubt go down again soon. I got back down, and pulled the sock and frame up and on the leg, getting the gripper to release this time, did cause a bit more bleeding than the first time, from the same gash in my finger. I also dropped the damned glide, it didn’t hurt my already stubbed-this-morning toe that it landed on, too much.

Alright, it hurt like buggery! The finger is still stinging, and the poor stubbed and crushed toe, will never be the same again! Hargledunks!

Taking this photo with the socks on, makes the leg look almost normal, dunnit? Hehehe!

No papules, subungual hematoma, Clopidogrel Clive lumps, the deep vein thrombosis growths, and the ankle ulcer is hidden from view! Only the spider veins and Cartilage Cathy’s affected patella show signs of anything abnormal. Mind you, under the lovely warm sock, it’s a terrible sight! Hahaha!

But I fear not the thought of taking the socks off later, it’ll be a piece of cake for me. (Who am I kidding!) To be honest, after the sock-glide grapple, I felt exhausted. I got the finger ointmentated and took an extra Codeine. The toe can wait until I do the ablutions, there is no way I’m taking off the socks before then. There wouldn’t be a need if I could find what I’ve done with my slippers!

I stopped to make another brew and went on the WordPress Reader section. Some brekkers methinks, pot noodle will do, and another Glengettie brew.

Then, the ablutions had to be tackled. Much later than usual, so I could get caught up with the blogging, before getting Josies’ cheesy potato meal ready. Off to the wet room.

Gordon Bennett! What a good stand-up session that was!

The teeth cleaning was painless, only one dropsy! The shaving, went fair enough, a good few dropsies, but no bother now I keep the short picker-upperer in the wet room! The rear-end cleaning got a complaint from BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda) as I twisted to reach certain areas. Only the medicationalisationing was below par. Poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids suffered worst. Cartilage Cathy’s patella was a close second, and throughout the morning, I’ve been having Colin Cramps visit the left-hand fingers and hand, just as yesterday, but a tad more severe. So I dolloped plenty of the Phorpain gel on things and rubbed it well in. It didn’t make a blind bit of difference, of course. Cribblebogangonies! 

I was a tad concerned over no movement from the rear end yet, Porcelain-Throne-wise? Mmm!

Oh, I found this photo on the card later, it looks like the belt on the trews? I can’t remember taking it, or why if I did.

I got the hand-washing done, wrung and hung on the hangers to drip-dry above the sink. I made a bit of a mess that called for the floor and sink to be dried up as well. Hump and Thunderglobberisations! 

I then turned my attention’s to tackling getting the Sunday cheesy-potato lunch made for neighbour Josie. And got it ready just in time to be delivered on time, at midday! (I felt a bit proud of ding that! Mind you, there was one heck of a mess to be cleaned up afterwards.

Go the facemask on, and delivered it to her door. I’d forgotten to take the camera with me again, and nipped back to fetch it.

When I got to the door, Josie had opened the door and let me take a picture of her holding the meal tray. She beat a hasty retreat because she was on the phone with her sister at the time. Which is a shame, because she’s not going to get her meal while it’s hot. But no complaints from me. The gal forgets things, like me making her a meal every Sunday and delivering it as near to 12 o’clock as I can. However, I am just as bad at forgetting things, so do not get all het-up about it. Hehehe! I hope she can finish her phone call, while it is still eatable, and doesn’t have to reheat it.

I got back and did the cleaning up from the cooking, and got myself back on the computer.

I found some updated details of the UK figures, on the BBC News site. A bit scary, to see that 21,502 new cases were recorded yesterday! Oh, dear!

I had a search for the Nottingham figures.

I saw this article about the ‘Freedom Rally’ in Nottingham. With so many people working hard to help victims, I find this amazing!

I got the nosh started, and served up.

Beef pasties, tomatoes, Marmite cheese, garden peas, red grapes, and potatoes. A lemon curd yoghourt to follow. I consumed it all slowly. I even had a bag of Frazzles and some nut afterwards!

I had hoped to watch the Peter Sellers ‘The Pink Panther Strikes Again’, and indeed did stay awake for about ten minutes or so, and nodded off at the first commercial break. I woke several times, but only for a minute or so, and drifted off again. I woke up with a start as the end credits were rolling, with the guts in turmoil!

I feared that with me not utilising the Porcelain Throne today, a storm was brewing, of mammoth-proportions from within. I lay waiting for signs of any movement indicative of needing the Throne, that may be in the offing. Despite all the churning and, macerating, noting moved. Which meant I lay there waiting for an eruption than never came. Tsk!

Ah well, no problem, eventually I nodded off once more.