Local News Snippets with Comments Part 5⅜

Good Question!

I’ve got arithmophobia, numbers leave my head in a haze,
No doubt, I’m an old gentleman, who is easy to faze,
Trying to understand and or appraise,
Easy, back in my earlier days,
Confusing now, my brain decays…
Facts and figures mixed, like mayonnaise!

This is clearer to me, a lot less bull,
+113.6%, well, that’s plainly plentiful!
Far too high for things to remain uneventful!
In fact, we must indeed all be very careful…
Or things can easily become more fatal!

I’m not sure why this was in the news at all?
This article is not likely to amuse or enthral?
Still, nice to see summat that’s not hard-ball,
I should welcome an item that’s not conflictual!

What is conditional bail?
Bed at a certain time?
Don’t stab anyone or impale?
Collect your dole on time?
Or eat only Wensleydale?
Don’t commit another crime?
Or is conditional bail, a dwale?

Here’s a right git who is rather unnice!
He’d drunk-driven before… Twice!
Nearly six years he got, very nice,
He was tried at Derby, didn’t apologise…
Better than the Nottingham Court guys…
They’d given him a month and free pork pies!

I can’t believe it, just two years… surely?
Our justice system is a tragi-comedy!
It defies logic and believability,
Saving money, with short sentences essentially,
Do we spend too much locking them up excessively?
Starve the gits! Forget about doing things humanely,
Or did the scumbag pretend to act demurely?

I find it hard to make a comment on this scum!

I’m sure she meant no harm at all,
By gum, she’s persistent, in for the long haul,
Though to be honest, it is only natural…
When the grandkids want drugs, avoid being conflictual,
Wanting to please young Elvis and Myrtle?

Brothers Jamil and Shakeel Amin spearheaded the group, who, in their twenties themselves, had a significant influence on young people in the city, who they were targeting since 2018. They were found to have long lists of clients, with frequent phone calls and texts relating to buying the likes of cocaine, MDMA and ketamine. Two members even bragged that they had so much money they could throw fivers ‘in the bin’, and the video of 29-year-old Shakeel Amin and 22-year-old Zain Mushtaq casting the notes aside was shown during the court case involving nine people as part of a drugs conspiracy.

I thought I’d end on a higher note, the top gang bullies got seven years each. It should have been a lot more, but with our justice magistrates and judges, it was a miracle they got seven!

Part of The Inchcock Local News Snippet Series – In Ode

8 thoughts on “Local News Snippets with Comments Part 5⅜

  1. “A Clockwork Nottingham” more gruesome than anything that Anthony Burgess or Stanley Kubrick could imagine, and just in time for Christmas, Rated X. That’s a long list of ruffians defiant, innit? Sounds like a too-high proportion of the ‘ham population. What gives with someone who would grab someone by the FACE to wipe the ground. I’d like to give them each a hundred years of hard labor, a bit too generous on my part, but I’m a lenient sort. Well, that was a large bit of a lie there, mate. My apologies.
    118 convictions for a doting grandmother. what a mother indeed. That lot wot got 7 short years…of course would I add an additional 93 years for good measure, but give them early release after 92 years if there be good behavior.
    Wowsers. Stay safe, good Sir!

      • I hope that the actual number is less, but it will probably be more than reported earlier. Some criminal who “served” a short sentence will be released to take up where he left off. I’m still thinking about that cretin who grabbed a woman by the face and wiped the ground with her. Shudderingly foul crime.

      • Such things that commit these types of crime, should be locked away forever. Then there’s a distant hope of the rope coming back, Billum.

Leave a Reply