Inchcock Today: Local News Snippets – Part 11¼

Inchcock Today: Local News Snippets – Part 11¼

Made this graphicalisation for a bit of a laugh… well laugh then!

On with the genuine stuff then…

The driver was three times over the drink-drive limit,
Carted off to the station, gave him tea and a biscuit,
His licence he will no doubt temporarily disinherit?
His fourth-time drink driving – Goddammit!
He should have had just one alcohol-free gin and tonic!

Came from Birmingham for a night out?
We’ve already got many a local lout…
Imported turds we can do without…
Did he come to do a burglary or knockabout?
Ahmed Kalif, shouldn’t he be tea-total and devout?
But Christian, church, kids also need to keep an eye out…
Especially with the boy-liking Vicars lurking about!

Cockroaches, beetles? To be fair…
Didn’t they find some once at the Mayfair,
The big posh one, in Leicester Square?
Hong Kong restaurant, they found cat food there!
And Harrods’, they found maggots in an armchair…
Still, they let him stay open; that’s extremely fair…
There’s some logic in these actions… somewhere!

A year, suspended sentencing from Mcadam, it’s nowt!
The sentence deciding Mcadam is the bigger lout!
What made him so weak and chicken out?
I bet the lady is now scared and will freak out…
Maybe it’s the same pub in which they both hang out?
Both of them are alcoholics?… well, I have some doubt!

On a lighter note, my luck’s still out!

Well, effective sentencing is something new…
And well and truly, cheer-making, although overdue,
To the judge, I feel the need to say thank you…
Ah, I reread this, tried in Derby, you see…
Had it been Nottingham, they’d likely have walked free!.

Drunken Animal!

Ah, a new Coronavirus overview…
But figure one can easily misconstrue,
Are they genuine, real, untainted, true?
At least they claim the virus is lessening; phew!.

So, the police have £360,000 worth of cannabis accrued,
By a cunning tip-off, that should be reviewed…
I think it is cheaper and less hullabaloo…
For competing gangs to split on another, it’s true…
Then arrange to attack them… when the police will do?

Scum of the planet, beyond humanity and saving,
What can be done to tame these shits needs probing,
They survive on our fear, robbing, stabbing, thieving!
These animals, beyond any respect, acquiescing!
No good the gallows, or electrocution reintroducing,
Or corporal punished embracing…
They can’t lose in my experience,
But on them both, I wouldn’t mind peeing!

Still not enough for potential murderers, though,
They’ll all be out in a few years, so…
They’ll be buying more guns and ammo…
They’re all empathically dead, fallow…
Full of greed and bullying mojo!


Cost of supermarket staples up 8% in a year across Asda, Morrisons, Sainsbury’s and Tesco

Just thought I’d end with a bit of good news!

4 thoughts on “Inchcock Today: Local News Snippets – Part 11¼

  1. The criminality in Notingham is known as far away as Birmingham with the appearance of a crime tourist now. I must apologize for larfing at the fellow who, despite some preliminary imbibing, was able to hit two houses with a single automobile. At least he didn’t drive straight through to the backyard, hard to accomplish with a couple walls holding ‘im back I suppose.
    Much involving a mix of alcohol and bad judgment in today’s IT, I was thinking the same thing about that fellow who drinks something a tad stronger than Glenget Tea (my apologies, I could not resist that one).
    Were Wilson and Crampton over here, they would likely have acquired an assault weapon such as the ones we know read about in school shootings.
    Scum of the planet indeed, a form of pollution graver than the occasional banana peel methinks.
    The largest supermarket chain in the US has headquarters in our nearby city, the one on ‘tother side of the Ohio river — Kroger, with 14 susidiaries, has enjoyed record profits during the present pandemic. Yet their employees have not seen a single coin of a pay increase, well perhaps a fake farthing. We see similar increases over here to the left of the Ocean Atlantic. But we must remember that the pain of inflation also affects Tesco’s Ken Murphy who received that pay deal sadly shy of a million quid. No fake farthings for Ken though.
    Wishing you an absolutely fantastic Monday, Sir!
    Billum and HRH (presently enjoying an extended Sunday with SM)

    • I thought of the family, perhaps all settled down to watch the nine o’clock news with a cuppa, and BANG! Well, Bang, bang! They were making the news! Hehe!
      I worry for the future with so many weapons about.
      Kroger, sound like Tesco and Asda (Owned by Walmarts) over here, Bill.
      Sneaking in some good Nottinghamianese in there Billum!
      Great news with SM, about time too! HRH and your good worhtyshipness self deserve it!
      I don’t know if it is the scary-looking Hemp capsules, but last night I only had four jump-awakes! You should have seen the Carer’s (Kiya) face when she looked at the Hemp, the look said; Eurgh! loudly. Haha!
      Thanks, cocker.

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