Inchcocks Morning Ode…

There are some things of interest, some nostalgic…
I wish to admit to and share on this Samstag,
Like my being an insomniac…
But not a kleptomaniac…
My ailments ensure I move about, looking like a maniac!
My stomach doesn’t look like a sixpack…
The flesh wobbles, flails about, and bounces back…
This is not my only physical drawback…
Cateracted eyes are going; I can just see a haystack!
The hearing is fading, teeth covered in plaque…
Medical bother, I can’t get to see the quack,
My hobbling pace is down to that of a lollygag!
When Jillie came yesterday, she brought me a snack…
Did I mention it? To me, she’s an aphrodisiac! 💘

Inchcock: Sunday 27th February 2022

Gobsmacking! I woke up at 06:40hrs, having had an uninterrupted straight six hours of kip! At last! I think the Hemp capsules, just one at night, must be working! We’ll see!

The fight to free my substantially flabbier and grossly larger-stomached body from the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner; went so smoothly! No Dizzy Dennis’s antics, Cartilage Cathy was hardly any hassle at all, and no toe-stubbing. Arthur Itis, Duodenal Donald, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, were all calm!!! I realised this may be bluff from the body, so I delayed going into a Smug-Mode!

As I was hobbling into the kitchen and working out how long I’d been asleep, I cracked the right shoulder against the door frame! The glasses came off, I dropped the empty bottle I was going to refill! Of course, I took in all in good spirits. After respectaclising myself and cleaning up the mess, and laughed away as I got into the kitchenette. Ahem!

I realised it was Sunday (I usually work these things out within an hour or so of waking up, you know). So, I got all the food and implements needed for Prepping Josie’s chilli stew. Doing pork for her today, for a change. Chopped the veg and added it to the saucepan with the seasonings.

As I rinsed out the lemon washing up liquid bottle before putting it in the waste bag, the bubbles went everywhere, including up in the air! Got back and reran the tap, but it was no good; the suds had died a death. Shame! Like lightning… well, I hobbled as fast as I could and got the Canon to photograph this min-phenomenon.

I got on the computer to finish off yesterday’s blog. The door chime chimed, and I thought it might be the Amazon man with the belated bleach, but it wasn’t.

It was the nippy, perky, Cheeky Charley Carer. Who told me off for spelling her name wrong. She got the medications sorted out, and we had a little nattering session. During which she took a selfie with the Canon, of both of us! Chose her choice of treats (Back of photo), and off she went, taking the waste bags with her. ♥ You just can’t help liking her!

Ten minutes later, ♫Oh Susana ♫ chimed again. It was the food from J Sainsbury’s. The chap took the bags through to the kitchen for me; that was a nice gesture. As he left, he mentioned that I did not look too good. Oh, I felt okay? The first thing I did was get the potatoes in a cool fark place. See the potatoes above? Sainsbury’s new slogan, ‘Helping everyone eat better‘, Does not ring true, does it! They also had only one day’s life on Strawberrys and two on the yellow tomatoes. One substitute and two unavailable items;  Which really helps the new slogan get across, dunnit? ‘Sainsbury’s, Helping everyone eat better‘ Crap!

The food cupboard had room left in them both? And the fridge was looking most positively sparse! Ring-pulls on the peas and chilli were no longer on the cans.

No fresh garden peas are available, along with lemon cheesecakes. And the baked cheese curls were loose in the box, with no wrapping!

I wonder which overpaid dimwit came up with this Catchphrase-Motto’? Hogwash! Proof of J Sainsbury’s commitment to their new logo.

Got on with updating the Saturday blog via what bits I could remember and the scrawl on the notepad. I kept checking on the cooking meal for Josie, in between wee-weeing and blog working.

The intercom buzzed, and I thought the Amazon bleach had arrived, even though their Email said it would be coming twixt 15:00>18:00hrs. But I could see no one on the lobby camera? Mmm?

Eventually, I got the blog almost finished, then realised the time, and had to get the Josie-meal readied and served. So, I did! I’d made far too much. So I put another serving in the grey-lidded pot, so she can have another nibble later on. I have to say, this pork one did taste good when I tried a spoonful! Added the extra tidbits; The G&T, Yorkie bar, Cadbury’s chocolate mini rolls, cheese discs, a pot of Devon custard, and two tiny pots of pineapple jelly desserts. Then in a bid to get it to her before it lost its heat, I plodded out into the lobby and rang her bell. She soon answered the door, making her usual perusal of the meal, asking what is it this week then?

I told her I’d put pork instead of beef in the Chilli-stew this time. And again, she told me I’d have her looking like Betty Bunter. Can anyone remember the Betty Bunter character? I’m sure she was in a comic in the ’50s. The comic title was June! The lads had Billy Bunter and the gals Betty Bunter… not sure I can remember the comic’s name. I’ll have a look on the web for Betty Bunter later. Which I did, here she is! It was Bessie Bunter!

I got back to the flat and got all the washing up done. Then posted the blog off. Visited Facebook, WordPress Reader, WP Comments… all between taking wee-wees, of course. Tsk!

16:40hrs: The Amazon box of bleach arrived. As the deliveryman plonked it on the floor through the door – I thought… this is poor! I immediately had a bit of a panic-station, DEFCON-two warning come over me! I didn’t like the idea of the label being on the side of the box. Got it into the kitchenette and used the sharp knife to carefully open it. It was apparent that every bottle had leaked! Good job; it was crap bleach; it had only worked its way through the inner box. I had a bit of a kerfuffle as I got the bottles from the decaying box and into the sink. Where I checked each one and cleaned it with paper towels.

Having not long gotten over J Sainsbury’s insulting treatment, now it was Amazon’s turn to insult me. Some of the bottles weighed far less than the others; obviously, they had spewed out more bleach. Grumph!

I got on with cleaning and drying them, putting each one in the rectangular bowl, in case they leaked again later; at least the escaping bleach should be contained to some degree… I hope!

Francis

I nipped the Strawberries down to Francis’ apartment. I almost forgot about taking them for her this week. Slipped her a cheese twist pastry as well. I hope she likes the cheese twists… ♫ Come on let’s twist again, Like we did last summer, come on… ♫

Been such a busy day for me in some ways. Good job, I remembered, cause they were delivered with one-day shelf-life left on them by J Sainsbury’s! Oh yes… How does it go? ‘Sainsbury’s, Helping everyone eat better.’

Made a long-awaited start on this blog, and an hour or so later, the tune of ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chirped up. I was so glad that Carer Julie came to see to tend to me.

Julie kindly listened to me moaning about the Sainsbury’s and Amazon deliveries. She even checked the bottles to see they were safe. She really is an Angel to me. America’s loss, and aged decrepit Nottinghamians gain. 💗

The Sherwood sunset was not as dramatic as it has been these last few nights, but still a wonderful Mother nature sight to see.

The blogging was slow-going yet again. I surrendered to the eyelids’ demands and gave up. I’ll continue in the morning. Hopefully, Hahaha!