Local News Snippets

Whoever did this, is the lowest scumball,
With no morals, decency or pride at all!
Humanities decline is continual,
They are without care and principal…
Shamefully these crimes are not unusual…
Nor in London, Leeds, Manchester and Walsall,
Yet, no worse than many politicians in Whitehall!

What? She’s drunk a bottle of Baccardi!
Should have stuck with tea, safer, you see?
Or stuck to massaging just the man’s knee!
I wonder if she offered him an apology?
58-years old she acted rather adolescently,
Should have known better, putting it bluntly,
I think she really should have consulted me!

Cor blimey, an increase in cases, well blow me!
We are not yet from Covid, going to be free!
Caused by the citizens’ recent complacency…
Going back in shops without masks, crapulently!
And nightclubs, get-togethers, restaurants too!
But that’s just jealousy… things that I can’t do!

Well, these two scumbags will test the jurisprudence!
They are totally unaware, of the harm and despair…
Concerned on where their next fix comes hence!
The harm caused to innocent victims? They do not care!
They’ll ignore help offered of rejuvenescence…
Their next needle or drink, in the dustbin they share!
The young, old, weak are all targets – so be aware!

The poor things have sunken low with flatulence…
Are in need of help really, through their indigence…
They get the drug money, through grandiloquence…
But mostly muggings old folk, and belligerence!
Letting them of lightly, has proved its idempotence…
Satisfying me, of their existence, nature of feculence!

The poor bus driver, need a number-two, he decided…
So, off to the only one in town, he was riveted!
Closed down, vandalised since he last visited!
This left him nonplussed and he fidgetted…
Can a nasty-underpants accident be thwarted?
It frit him a few times when he farted…
The Council can be so cold-hearted!

Serious Comment from Inchcock
This scares me, now I’m in the early stages of Vascular Dementia, I’m getting nervous. After getting Peripheral Neuropathy, then having the stroke, the hospital had to send me to a ‘Home’ for three weeks, before I could be sent back to my flat. Some of the things I saw there and had to endure was frightening, and that Nottingham Council Home, had a good H&S rating! Eventually, I suppose it will have to come to this… it’ll be worse next time, with the Cataracts not being seen to, the Glaucoma and right eye Saccades will all have to be done after the Cataracts. Each Cataract could take, according to the NHS site up to 48 weeks waiting time, and I have both eyes to be treated! And cannot have another eye test and new spectacles until they have all been treated successfully. With Vascular Dementia Doreen getting a better grip on me slowly, I worry!

Nice to see 3-years for his female accompanist,
19 years for Jake, the young scum murderist?
But let’s not get too happy and alarmist…
It’s not long enough for this adiaphorist,
Whoever gave this sentence, a good few years were missed!

A least they caught him, of that I am pleased…
He’ll likely be out in ten years, for that I am pissed!
A life term should be that… or is there summat I’ve missed?
Murderers’ sentences should be increased!

Far too early they are freed…
So many of them to kill again indeed!
No deterrent, no hardships to intercede!
They should be fed on carrots and swede…

If they behave… on grilled meat flies they can feed!
Do the killers no harm to be ravished…
Then they can have their toenails revarnished?
Get exercise from a velocipede…
Do their own washing, clean up after they’ve pee’d…

Well, well, another Nottingham Murder!
There are lots of murders for a Wearsider,
To some areas, it’s a matter of pride!
Like in Liverpool, London and Tynesider
Not in for a resident Togolander…
But far less than for a Thailander,
Sorry, I’ve started to meander…
Back to the Local murders, makes me shudder,
Stabbings and shootings, locally we are a titleholder,
More murders than anywhere in England… Per Capita!
Two, within a mile; I’m getting scarederer!

As a rule, all 3 Green Houses are usually missed,
I expect this, I’m not lucky if you get my grist…
From doing this game, I can’t resist…
This week’s record of hits each day, well if you insist…
0,0,1,0.1, yet hitting two in five days; I was impressed…
I’m feeling rather pleased and chuffed!