Local News Snippets – Part 23⅞ths

Will justice ever be seen again?

Will murderers ever are executed, slain,
Although hanging is looked upon with disdain,
Are all MPs against it? I can’t ascertain…
Convicted to life in prison, they should remain,
In prison, it’s easy for them to get cocaine!
Many have broken out again and again!
The injustice of the legal system drives me insane,
Execution will never return; is it concrete, certain…
Then again, in a few years, although by then inane…
People will realise life on earth we cannot sustain!
Too many people to feed will cause our destruction,

We have to urgently reduce the world’s population,
3 million murders a day, and we lock them away,
Feed them, medicate them… well, this is no way…
I suggest we use the skills of our local electrician,
To electrocute murderers or try decapitation?
Get rid of the scumbags that infest our Nation,
And remove their breeding stick; that’ll do the trick!

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Local News Snippets – Part 23⅞ths

We’ll start off with a report on the Covid pox,
I imagine there’ll be more soon on the monkeypox…
Or maybe one on the return of chickenpox?
But first, we’ve Covid yet, outfox,
First, I’ve got to get my head around Firefox,
Then when time, I’ve got Germoloid my buttocks,
While Nottingham scum work out the new car locks,
I must order some new diabetic kneesocks…
Then get through the day full of shocks and shlocks,
I’m waffling again; sorry if I got you in a flummox!

Released on bail, it makes me wail…
So he can get more drugs and ale?
Didn’t know what it was, his conditional bale…
Tell him not to drive? That’s a fairytale…
Not to get drunk, on spirits or impale a female?
He mustn’t run away to Wensleydale?
I’m guessing, him responding to his bale? A dwale!

Blimey, reminds me of my mother. Regretfully!

Yet another one does a runner!
Parole boards’ reputation gets murkier!
Deterrents for crime get flimsier,
Scumballs are getting treated kindlier?
Escapees are getting more regular…
None-returnees are getting cunninger…
And I’m definitely getting portlier!
That’s nowt to do with escaper…
Who’s a  naughty boy and a fibber!

One thought appeals. Best not say!

Despite my total lack of winning anything gambling-wise, for about 62-years now – I anticipate and expect a win of some sort shortly. Surely?

See his sneer? He’s got no fear…
He may well like it up the rear,
Will he settle in the nick? Or disappear?
Things happen, and he may even get leerier?
I’d sooner he dies slowly, contracts malaria,
He can be educated on how to be friendlier…
Be good if another prisoner went for his jugular!

Learn summat new every day!


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Proletariats from all around the land, Bless them…
Cheltenham, Birmingham, Nottingham or West Ham,
Wherever; realise that MPs & the law are a sham…
Anytime now, expects riots with a wham!

20 thoughts on “Local News Snippets – Part 23⅞ths

  1. A wide crime swath creeps over the Sherwoods and other N’ham climes. These are some brutal and heartless dregs of society who think only of their next assault on the most innocent. Then, when apprehended, they sometimes get a firm slap on the back and an encouragement to find other less nasty pastimes if it pleases them. Or not.
    Chanel Bailey sets a fine example of how to raise alms for the poor while stealing alms for the poor.
    A 72-year-old “educator” David Taylor is not too old to ply his trade at a place of trust, finding victims among those who already suffer from special needs, nothing is below the belt for these pillars of society.
    Ian Hensworth, a most congenial and photogenic example of our fellow travelers could be confused with Gollum; he has chosen to spend his golden years in prison into his 80’s, unless he is deemed suitable to join society again as a seasoned slasher. Perhaps after a few years of good behavior.
    Gorrum, indeed.

    • ‘Eckythimp, your first paragraph was spot on, Billum. Sadly, for the human race.
      It hurts me know they will get free medical care, with dental and GP located at the HMP! Jealous, I must be. Hehehe!
      Thanks Professer!

      • Good to hit the mark in the first paragraph. Your thanks are greatly appreciated, mon ami.
        I recently viewed a documentary on Japanese Prisons. At first, you are left with the thought that they are brilliantly clean and humanely operated places, but then you find just how every movement gets controlled to the minutest degree. A system that prohibits the slightest action by using very subtle methods. 24/7 with cameras everywhere.
        Here is the link:

        Reporteth Professor Billum

      • Well, it’s certainly different to our drug-filled Nottingham Prison. Reactions to such a change would be hard to get the spoilt for years prisoners to accept. Love the no talking… and no escapes!

      • Our prisons are pretty ghastly, most of the stereotypes found on TV and cinema are Hollywood from the opening to the rolling credits.
        Good wishes to yer, mate.

      • I wonder if the Japanede prisons are cheaper to run?
        Thanks for the good wishes, Prof. May you time-machine labs live long & prosper.

      • Speaking of Japanese prisons, I don’t recall how much it costs to run them. But some of their prisons may have contracted with one of the 97 incomparable laboratories, beneath and surrounding Crowell Manor, to provide technical assistance in manufacturing time machines. Rumor has it that we allow prisoners to escape to the date when they are scheduled for release. A fair exchange methinks, but not true. In fact, we allow them to travel into the past at the point that their first crime took place, whereupon they get a chance to eschew criminality at its very root. A second chance, as it were.
        Sales pitch:
        “Live longer and prosper more with a Billum hand-crafted Time Assistant. Visit dinosaurs one day and Morlocks the next.”

      • Had the tucks coming again that did, Billum. Har-har! I fank you!
        Would it be possible, please, for you to design a machine that we could take the murderers back to just when the started their prison sentences… and abandon them to serve it all again? That appeals.

      • I’m the tucks Carer, I am. Inducer of larfs, a tested and true therapy. Meridian should put me on their payroll. 🙂
        Now there is a grand notion, resetting the time served to nil, washing the wall that has all those hash marks what mark the passage of a day. A fanciful thought, Sir.

      • Deep thinking there, Sir! Am I brave enough to suggest the Meridian employ your services through the ether? Maybe not! Hehe!

      • Many folks connect to work via Zoom meeting, I’m wondering how much effect that has had on traffic snarls during commuting hours. The price of petrol is also an advantage, thinketh I.
        Now I am wondering if Meridian needs a German interpreter? Not likely though, Germans start learning English in preschool.

      • I missed preschool, Bill. Had a few years infant and junior schooling, where I learnt how to calm bruises and bleeding. And secondary modern that was a permanent survivaling unbeat-up routine. I’d love to go back and try again.
        Meridean could do with an English interpreter. Haha!

      • I did not even attend Kindergarten, it was quite a shock to suddenly find myself ruled by nuns doing penguin impressions.
        A Nottingham to English dictionary when Zoom Meeting with Meridian. I fang you for your kind advice, Sir!

      • No Richard today… in fact, it is an hour beyond his calling time, and no carer has yet arrived. Will I get a helpful one this morning? Will I get one at all? More to follow…
        Common or garden schooling for me… it was the teachers I felt sorry for with the riff-raff fellow pupils… Rough! Hahaha!

      • I hope that Richard recovers from the combination of coughs and sweats, not a comfortable mix.
        Perhaps Julie or Valerie or Esther, the great conversationist?
        I know of the riff-raff of the 1990’s. And I am, without any shadows of any doubts the absolutely worst classroom-manager on this particular planet. That experience was enough to convince that working with computers, such as the progenitors of Data, suited me much more than witnessing the collapse of the American educational system from a bowels-eye view. Shudder…shudder. Working with enormous databases is much more satisfying and worth the while. Not rough at all.

      • Richard came on Friday, I wasn’t expecting him, but it cheered me a smidgeon, and I him I hope. This morning the beautiful Sarah came. I think I’m in love again. But, she be married, with two wonderful looking girls, who she kindly showed me photos of on her mobile phone, lovely!
        I have to agree with assessment of the violent world we now have to put up with, well said and phrased, love the Data bit!
        Cheers, Sir. Love to all at the Manor.

      • I hope that Richard is feeling better, that would indeed be a welcome surprise.
        Good to be visited by a beautiful Carer, even if she is not available. At least her husband is a lucky bloke.
        I’ve just read an article regarding the number of school shooters who reach the minimum age of 18, when you can not only purchase a gun but purchase an assault rifle. It is more than a blip in the statistics that many shooters buy an assault rifle on reaching that anniversary. There are 120 guns per capita in the US, making it number one in the world. Number two, with 60 per capita, is the Falkland Islands.
        I think there is a strain of Data in my DNA (DATAeoxyriboNucleic Acid). One of our fabulous (derived from the word “fable”) laboratories is testing the hypothesis that Data has more humanity than most humans.
        And all and each of us at the Manor send love to the Chief of Research at Laboratory 72. We thanketh yer for running our only lab in the UK!

      • On his last visit, he had to rush to another job, but did sound a little keener than of late, bless him. Mind you, he had got two days off coming.
        By, gum he is lucky too!
        I fea things (killings) are not going to improve. People can’t grasp that less weapons must mean less killings? But the fear of gang members, force folks into arming themselves… its a vicious circle. I Birmingham yesterday, the Police raided a home drug farm. They found three assault rifles, five revolvers and nine pistols. Dozens of machettes, air rifles, ammunition, hand grenades, police spray cans, CCTV in every, room! And no gang members, but two women and eight children??? I hope to find out more for the next Snippets blog. Although, do I, really?
        Thanks for the wishes Mon AMi and each. ♥

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