Inchcock Today – Sunday 20th December 2020: A malagrugrous day! I’m glad it’s gone away, I say!

TFZer Pattie

Sunday 20th December 2020

Welsh: Dydd Sul 20fed Rhagfyr 2020

00:30hrs: I woke up, wanting a wee-wee, as has been the case for the last four or five mornings. But no sleep interrupting needs, which I’m thankful for.

I felt in much better health and perkier than last night now, and the removal of my obstinately, ever-growing more gigantic, flabbergastingly-flabby, flagitiously and over-fat bellied torso from the recliner, seemed so much easier for me, this morning.

Unfortunately, it was another one of the vicious HLSBS (Hosepipe-Like-Short-Blasting-Splashback) types, that required a good deal of cleaning up, a wash and change of PP’s. The urinary incontinence MAD (Micturition After-Dribble) followed. And off to the kitchenette, I wobbled.

I got the kettle filled and turned on and attempted to get a decent photograph of the morning view. I used the Nikon camera and put it in Night-Landscape mode. Held the camera against the thick window frame, and tried to hold it with the left hand and use the right one to press the shoot button. No good!

The BP Sys sphygmomanometerisationing showed that it had tumbled down to only 135! I can’t work out why it keeps going up and up, then drops back up again? The cause may be, I suppose, the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Woodthorpe Court ghosts, hobgoblins, boll-weevils, aliens, gremlins, grotesqueries, urchins, karakia-cursing entities, hallucinations. Materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, kehuas, manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given-by-Satan mission; ‘To destroy the sanity, confuse, and scare the hell out of Inchcock!’ Hahaha!

The stick-thermometer gave a reading of 34.8°c, which is okay for me. As I was putting the things back in the drawer, the ‘Hum’ outside turned louder, and positively to a droning like noise?

I got some potatoes in the crock-pot, and added water and Squid vinegar, and made a brew of Glengettie tea.

Then I had to have another wee-wee. This was of the SWCHH (Sprinkly-Weak-Half-Hearted) style.

I remembered then, the two wee-wees needed recording on the NHS record log. 

The throat seemed extremely dry, I was coughing a little, and carminative blasts of wind were escaping from the rear end. Some of them were blasters and relongated rumblers. Mmm?

Got several small black waste bags made up, disinfected and sealed, ready to take to the chute, in a few hours, when it would not disturb my fellow tenants.

I made a start on updating the Saturday blog. Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters and SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) were not too bothersome at all.

Which is just as well, because Anne Gyna and Arthur Itis were already giving me more than enough discomfort. I took a few swigs of the ineffectual, wishy-washy, impotent Peptac antacid medicine, I’m sure it helped any, and an extra Codeine 60g to counter Arthur Itis’s knee and ankle pain.

During the hours of doing the update, I had two more wee-wee’s, both of the SWCHH (Sprinkly-Weak-Half-Hearted) mode. Then, I sent Email link, read and answered comments, visited the WordPress Reader section, and did some Facebooking catching-up.

Then another wee-wee! This one was a PSL (Powerful-Short-Lived) release. Now the innards are giving me some right jip! I’ve had some bother this week ain’t I?

Got a template made-up. Then moved onto CorelDraw to create some diary-top graphics, I’m right out of them now.

The innards are still churning a mite. SSS has calmed down. But now it’s the new spectacles that are bothering me, they keep slipping off of my nose! Tsk! 

The ablutions next, and a damned fine job of doing them too! Naturally, there were a few dropsies here and there, but no toe stubbings, no knocks or walking into anything, no dizzies, and the showerhead stayed where it was, or I meant it to go!

The various departments medicationalisationing was a bit painful, but it was expected to be. Getting the fresh PP’s on afterwards, and did manage to swipe some items off of the floor cabinet. Oh, and I needed two of the reluctant wee-wees while in the wet room – that was convenient! Haha! I’d better top up the bowel ad bladder visits-list for the hospital.

The right foot’s new marks are not spreading or gaining any new bits, fading, and the ankle ulcer is all but gone now!

I reckon all these ailments, add to the colourfulness of my life, you know. My prepubescent, childish giving them names, such as Duodenal Donald, Stuttering Stephany, Reflux Roger, Arthur Itis, Hernia Harry, Haemorrhoid Harold, Back-Pain-Brenda, Saccades-Sandra, Bladder-Cancer-Bob, Kidney Kevin, Peripheral-Neuropathic-Pete, Little-Inchies Fungal Lesion, PMAD (Post-Micturition After-Dribble and the PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribble), Metal Mickey (Mechanical-Aorta-Valve-Tim), Thrombophlebitis-Thomas, Varicose-Veins-Victor, Dizzy Dennis, Axonotmesis Arnold, Lethologica-Linda, Myasthenia Gravis Mavis, Vasculitis Vanessa, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, Shaking-Shaun, and of course, Ankle-Ulcer-Andrew, Bladder-Cancer-Cyril, Chlorhexidine Christine, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Clopidogrel-Clive, Thrombophlebitis, Neuropathic Schuhplattler dancing, Axonotmesis, myasthenia gravis, PIP (Proximal Interphalangeal Pain), Stubbed-Toe Stewart, LIFL (Little-Inches-Fungal-Lesion Ian’s-Idiopathic-Polyneuropathy, and Peripheral-Neuropathy-Nigel, Hyperglycaemia-Hyman, Diabetes-Mellitus-Miranda, Diabetic-Dianne, Fulton’s Furunculosis, Phimosis-Plato, Paraphimosis-Patrick, Thrombophlebitis-Fred, Psoriatic Arthritis Paul, Colin-Cramps, Varicose-Veins-Victor, etc., all help to keep me amused. But I’m blown if I can think up a name for new scabs on top of the right foot, might be best to wait until I get the results back from the biopsy next week. And I’ve got the bowel and bladder scans the next day. Then the cardiac reassessment. Oh, and the dentists soon. Still, it keeps me interested and busy. Hehehe!

Hello, I’ve got a nose-bleed now? I’ll go and have a decker, back in a bit…

I got to the wet room, ran the cold water tap, and had a look in the mirror, to see up the nose. (See that, I’ve no fear at all, looking at my face in a magnifying shaving mirror. Hahaha!) Feel a fool now, no idea what caused it, a deep red colour it was too – but after poking some paper towels up and cleaning the right cavity out, it’s not leaking at all now? I suppose it’s all part of the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court? Had another wee-wee while I was in there, a bit stronger this time, of the SPUTE variety. (Sharp-Persistent-Unwilling-To-End). Rarely do I pass two of a kind after each other. Got the hands well scrubbed up and sanitised.

I got Josie’s lunch prepared and delivered it to her, dead on midday as usual. Ooh, I am good! Hahaha!

I hung out of the balcony window to the right, to take this snap of the kid’s playground in Woodthorpe Grange Park. Not many Nottinghamians about for a Sunday.

Back to the CorelDrawing.But a massive weariness came on me, and I was no use for doing anything that needed concentration.

So, off went the computer, and I poddled about getting my meal sorted and served. There didn’t seem anything wrong with it, I’m sure I should have enjoyed it more. I think the taste-buds have gone on strike, Hehe! Taste-Rating: 5/10.

Washed the pots, then myself, took the medications and got down in search of sleep. But it wasn’t about to come soon. The Thought-Storms were persistent.

Hey-ho! TTFNski each.

Inchcockski – Saturday 19th September 2020: Frustrations, irascibilities and Murphy’s law ruled today!

Saturday 19th September 2020

Italiano: Sabato 19 Settembre 2020

03:30hrs: Woke wanting a wee-wee, worked my way out of the wreck of a recliner, and wobbled, without delay, to the awaiting wee-wee bucket. For a WUPT (Weak-Unwilling-Painless-Trickling) mode release. Went wearily to wash my hands, checked-out the PPs, no leakages at all last night. And with a semi-imitation, pretend Smug-Mode coming on, I wobbled along to the kitchen, to get the morning’s essentials sorted out, medications, Health Checks etc. and the most important, make a brew of tea. Haha! 

The dang chemist’s tablet packaging was still full of static; tablets had transferred from one pod to others, the pills were sticking to all sides as well (Static?). You should try opening these without some tablet or capsule shooting off somewhere, never to be seen again! No wonder I get confused and take the wrong ones. My thanks to Carrington Pharmacy, 343-345 Mansfield Road, Carrington, Nottingham NG5 2DA, Telephone number: 0115 960 5453, just up from the Lidl store, for the skilful way that they keep my interest and grumpiness alive, and give me something to moan about every month with their late, or incorrect disarrayed, can’t get at, misleading, crappily-packed confusing, mixed-up prescriptions pods. Bless ’em!

Gripe-over!

Sadly, the BP sphygmomanometer machine’s readings for the SYS had shot up again, to 167 now! I keep mentioning this high SYS and showing the photos to the various nurses who call on me, but luckily, it doesn’t seem to bother them much.

On the brighter side, the stick thermometer gave me a decent reading of the body temperature, 35°c, which is something at least that seems to be within the required limits. Hehe! Made a brew of Glengettie Gold, and the need of another wee-wee arose.

I filled in the records sheet for the last one and this on the chart for the hospital, and trotted off to the wet room.

Once in there, after the wee-weeing was done, as so often happens, the Porcelain Throne use was called for.

A real hard to get going job again. The usual nudge of activity, then solid as a rock, so I got the crossword book out and sat in pain as things started to move so slowly, yet ended up with a rush? A right dollop of it, but of a distinctly different construction. I shan’t go into it. The tank had to be filled by hand twice, it needed to flushes before things disappeared down the hole. Tsk! I washed, and filled in the logs.

I got on the computer, and had to make a template first, then got on with updating yesterday’s blog, which went extremely well. There was a lot needed doing, but the ailments were all sparing in their intrusions.

Then I wanted to do some more Lies, Astonishing, Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas graphics. So got on CorelDraw… and what a farcicalness followed! I was uploading the finished graphics to WordPress, and somehow, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters failed at just the wrong time, as I selected the options, of course, I didn’t sense it, and I sent the whole folder to WordPress.

Of course, my accidentally trying to load 800 odd pictures at the same time was not my plan, and the programme froze with all sorts of messages coming up from the computer!

Fear was the main feeling at the time. I could not close the programme, the computer would not let me onto the web. I was stuck! After trying to keep calm and work out what could be done for ages, I gave up, and had to turn off the machine! Gawd, this scared me, I was sure that things would not work out right, and half expected the computer and or WordPress, to be knackered!

I didn’t, but I did feel like crying. I left the computer to cool down and let anything Norton might be doing in the background to finish, and had to pop back to the wetroom again for a wee-wee, worry, and stewing in self-pity session.

The wee-wee was one of the messy, VSWAO (Viciously-Spraying-Wildy-All-Over) type. The cleaning up took me ages again. Some PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling) this time, meant fresh PP’s were needed also… and guess what happened as I tried to get the new ones on?

I lost my balance and tumbled over, hitting the already bruised stomach against the corner of the floor cabinet. Knocking things off of it! I did my best to keep my temper, as calmly as possible, IO picked up the knocked-over items, and got back to getting the PP’s on.

This time the 5&@^ing Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, launched one of his involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances, and over I went in the other direction. Clouting the top of my right leg, on the feared sock-glide, and spot-on where the small furuncle was!

All this time, I was thinking about the computer problems, and my spirits sank, bile came from the stomach, and interest in everything just faded. So, I wasn’t precisely concentrating as I went to get through the doorway.

Yes, I stubbed my toe on the 3inch gap at the bottom of the door! Suicideworthiness! Claptickleisations! Gragnankles! and Cribblebogangonies! I’ve not felt as depressed, frustrated and worthless for years! But I still needed to know what the damage was with the computer, expecting the worst, I returned to have decker and turned back on my beloved Bang Olufsen.

Everything was working again. How? Why? I wasn’t really too interested in – just over-the-moon! A message from Norton came up, I didn’t understand it all, but it seems they had saved the day for me.

Of course, I wasn’t distraught. Ahem!

A new zest developed, I started singing Adam Faith, and Billy Fury songs as I at long last started doing this blog! Even the wee-weeing so often didn’t bother me, Yee-Ha! I did so far, then went on Facebooking catch-up, WordPress.

The day was well progressed now, after all the fussing about. I lost hours!

I made the nosh. Decent enough, a flavour rating of 6.5/10.

Nipped off for a wee-wee, which was of the CMA (Cloudy-Mini-Amount), added the leaf to the NHS log.

I washed-up the pots, took the medications, and then suffered the zemblanity of a sudden weariness like never before. I got settled down without a wash or any clothes on (sorry about that, it must have brought a horrendous image to your mind, perhaps of dying rhinoceros? Hahaha!) And just lay there, the mind storms having a free hand for hours, confusion when they stopped, mentally and physically drained, and eventually dropped of into a much-needed kip.

I woke up around midnight, feeling much better and perkier, in need of a wee-wee, of course.

Inchcocksi-Fri 18 Sept 2020: A most mephitic day: Grobbleknackercraps!

TFZer Family get together!

Friday 18th September 2020

Welsh: Dydd Gwener 18fed Medi 2020

03:25hrs: I reawakened, passed wind (risky that was), listened to the damned noise of The Hum’, I thought I could also hear music, accepted a message from the bladder that I need a wee-wee.

Then realised that I’d had just had… wait for it… Six Hours Sleep!

But the wee-weeing must take priority, so I wobbled the fearsomely-flabby-stomached body from the recliner, caught my balance, and off to the EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket). I took a VSWAO (Viciously-Spraying-Wildy-All-Over) wee-wee, and the AMD (After-Micturition-Dribble) took a while to stop, so I left the bucket in place, I had a feeling it might be needed again soon.

I got the stick and limped into the kitchen with the food tray I’d not cleared away from last night, and got washing the things up. I then took a photograph of the morning view of Winchester Street, I zoomed in, and when I pressed the ‘take’ button, so many things came on at the same time, for a moment, I thought to myself; “Hello, this is it!”. Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters died, Shaking Shaun gave me a rattling, and Duodenal Donald stabbed away at me! It was all over in less than a minute, and things went back to how they were? Well, Donald kept on, but far less viciously. Normally, as often happens, the effect on the picture would make me delete any photos as bad as this one, but I’ve shown it, cause the blurred shot, looks a little interestingly ghostly, Haha!

I got the kettle on and then began doing the Health-Checks. Starting with the stick thermometerisationing. The temperature was a smidge down, but not far out, methinks, it has been a lot lower over the last week. Although it was higher on Wednesday and Thursday. I’m waffling again!

The sphygmomanometer readings were better, at last. After a couple or so days of ridiculously high readings, it had dropped to 157, a bit high, but betterer.

The DIA and pulse seemed okay to me.

I took the medications, made a brew of Glengettie tea, and got on the computer. The first thing to do was to create a template, which I did. Then got updating the Thursday post. For some reason, at this stage, I remembered that I had to go to the opticians today, to collect the new spectacles and give them £300 in payment, Humph!

I was struggling against the interruptions from SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley). And needed another wee-wee. This one was so different, as is often the case, from the one before. It was back to a WTOP (Weak-Trickling-Orange-Painful) one.

But this reminded me to update the Bladder and Bowel Control records I’m keeping, as I have been instructed to, to take with me to the St Ann’s Health Centre, when I go for the scans. I finished the Thursday blog updating at last.

Pinterested some snaps, sent off the links via email and went to make another brew, Glengettie Gold this time.

I got some potatoes in the Crock-Pot and set the dial for ‘low’. Added some of the Squid fish sauce/vinegar to the water.

I had a look at the legs, to see if the right one was still pale like last night. They had returned to being the same shade as each other. Another mystery of Woodthorpe Court: The ghosts, hobgoblins, boll-weevils, aliens, gremlins, grotesqueries, urchins, cruel karakia-cursing entities, hallucinations. materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, kehuas, manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; ‘To destroy the sanity, confuse, and scare the hell out of Inchcock!’ Or maybe not, of course?

Then I went on a Facebook updating mission, hello, another wee-wee, I’ll take the bucket and get it cleaned and sanitised, and get the ablutions done at the same time, methinks. Back in a bit! I hope!

I’m back, and what a busy, fiddly messy time I’ve had; No sooner had I put the camera and stick outside of wet-room, I needed an urgent, fast-developing use for the Porcelain Throne. But it worked out great, my being just a few feet away from the toilet at the time. (Proof that things do work out well for me, sometimes, Hahaha!) The session was just like the last one: Very painful, very quick and massive! Not messy, and only a few specks of blood. The cistern coped with the evacuation with just three flushes, too!

I got on with doing the teggies, which was considerably more hurtful than yesterday, due to my over-keenest and rushing. My own fault!

The shaving, ah, well, not so good. Several small nicks, I must get some razor blades for the good razors. (Maybe today if I can get out to collect the spectacles, I can see what Wilko have on offer) The dropsies shaving totalled about eight, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters were not very good, on and off.

The shower, now we’re talking, it went very well indeed. Only one dropsy! One clout against the grab rail, and one short visit from Shaking Shaun. I think SSS was taking a holiday, cause there were as no shudderings at all for the entire showering session! 

The drying off and medications brought only two things knocked off of the floor cabinet visit (the olive oil applicator, and the deodorant spray). A few dropsies, though.

As I got on the new slippers with the outdoor soles, I was as pleased as punch, I managed to stick the velcro together on them, with the Jenny supplied short picker-upperer. Smug-Mode-Adopted! Both of the ankles seemed to be a bit more patchy and veiny?

I got the PP’s and trews on, no socks, no shirt yet. And I went to fill in the Bladder and Bowel Control records. Then got the kettle on. I realised as I was pouring the tea, I’d not checked the door for any mail. So, I did.

There was yet another hand-delivered advice letter. Basically, Nottingham City Homes, my landlords, who used Willmott Dixon to upgrade the flats (About three years ago, still not done yet, but we can blame the protected pipistrelle (Pipistrellus pipistrellus) is a small pipistrelle microbat whose very large range extends across most of Europe, North Africa, southwestern Asia) being found at the apartments, then the loathsome, life-destroying Coronvirus, for this; NCH, arranged with Willmott Dixon, who have now arranged for sub-contractors McKean Developments Ltd, for mask-wearing employees, who will keep a safe distance from us, to carry out an inspection of the new (*unwanted) balconies (* some windows have fallen off onto residents, injuring them, (* crumbling concrete falls on you, and the metal-spring window catches have caused a few injuries to the fingers, cuts and bruises), to be inspected, these inspections will be carried out on 21st >22nd September 2020. (* So, two more days we cannot get out for food, to the dentist, Doctors or clinic). *=My comments.

I shall now check to see if I have any appointments on my Google calendar for Monday or Tuesday. Hang on… Nope, only a food delivery and an expected call to come in from the Injury & Falls follow up team.

I took a picture through the balcony, then remembered I’d left the mug of Thompsons Punjana tea, in the kitchen.

So I proceeded to make another one. A full-tasty Glengettie one this time.

I assembled the things for the bus ride to Sherwood to collect the spectacles. And set off on my trip, taking some stuff to drop off at Jenny’s.

I got down without any bother and left the bag on the door-handle, and back to the lift. Where my EQ asked me if I really had to go out, and advised me not to bother? I pressed the call button, and the cafe arrived, the doors opened and closed straight away, and I’d missed the lift? It was a while before it came again, being as it is only one lift we are allowed to use, and when it returned, Eric from the 15th floor was in it, he said something as the doors opened, they shut again and another cock-up, as I’d missed it once more! All in all, it 25 minutes before I got into the cage! Now it was a rush to catch the bus in time!

When I got down to the ground floor, I hastened with wobbling trolley to the bus stop, but it pulled-off as I arrived, that’s happened twice in two days now! Swine!

The trip to and back ended up with me having to walk both ways. When I got home, I made up a photo-ode about the farcical-escapade. Link: 

A bus ride to Sherwood? Not on your life!

Getting back home, after the exertions of the wickedly Whoopsiedangled wanderings, I found the INR test results had been delivered, from Wednesday. Then I wrote the ode, while I was still feeling the angst, pain and weariness of the marathon walk.

The new varifocals were already slipping down my nose. Which made all the farce, agony and farting about I had to do to get them, even worse! I was stewing and brewing inside, with the innards now prompting Duodenal Donald to kick-in with his elongated stabbing strikes! Humph!

I got the ‘what I thought’ would be delicious smoked pork in the oven. I have to say, it did look good in the oven tray, and I foolishy got hunger pains as I got it on the rack.

Put away the other bits, and went for a wee-wee, a rare variety this time, a JPASB (Jet-Powered-Achroous-Spray-Back) mode!

Had a wash and clean-up, took the medications, and put the other stuff away.

After taking this picture of the lemon wafers, Wilko washing up liquid and laundry freshener, I dropped a [acket of the biscuits, and trod on it! It’s amazing how ageing, loss of balance, dizzies, and stupidity allows one to do things like this. I had a job cleaning up the crumbs that burst out as the packaging split open! Still, it gave me a bit of exercise. Tsk!

I put the mini-sized frankfurters into the fridge, I’m looking forward to trying these out later on.

Then I checked on the pork in the oven, I was cooking the ribs slowly on low heat, but giving it a much longer time, it said to do something like this on the label. No advice on the web about how to cook it. I added some liquid smoke to the meat.

I got the potatoes from the crock-pot on to the plate, washed the slow-cooker, then added some of the Jenny-supplied yellow and red tomatoes, and a pickled egg.

Another wee-wee, this time it was a totally different type from the previous evacuation. A WTWIWI (Weak-Trickling-Was-It Worth-It) style. Washed and sanitised the hands.

Serving up the meal, and the smoked pork looked and smelt wonderful!

Added some grapes and a lemon mousse on the tray. I felt sure this was going to be a tasty effort!

Got it on my knee as I sat in the c1968 recliner and got me feet up, just about to tuck into it, and the landline burst into life flashing!

I gave a big sigh, but the tray on the Otterman, and answered the call. It was the Doctors surgery, asking if I had received the results of the blood test yet from the Warfarin Anticoagulation and Deep Vein Thrombosis Clinic. I told her it had just been delivered, and she asked me what the dosages were, and next blood test date.

I opened the letter and told her, and she rang off. The INR level as excellent at 3.2, and the next test date was for 30th September. I made a note to remind me to add it to the Google Calendar and got back to the feast that awaited me on the tray…

Everything was tasty and enjoyed – Bar the meat! The one thing I was really looking forward to as well. It was more bone than meat, they had covered it with something to give it a rich tasty look, but that only covered up the masses of fat underneath!

I was deflated, grumpy, and disappointed in the extreme! After such the miserable catastrophe, Whoopsiedangleplop-ridden, crude, bus-missing, painful, embarrassing, and almost crippling and horrible trip to and from Sherwood, and now the disappointment of the £5-plus cut of meat being a disaster tastewise – I was feeling a little down and frustrated! Well, one would be, of course!

I ate all but the pathetic pork on the plate, then I took the tray through to the kitchenette. Wrapped the sickeningly fatty meat joint, and washed the things up.

The evening sky looked like me, all broody, moody. I took a couple of photos of it, and even they came out terrible!

Not one of my better days! Grobbleknackercraps!

A simple bus ride to fetch my Spectacles – Not on your life, talk about things going wrong. Humph!

A simple bus ride to fetch my Spectacles

Not on your life, talk about things going wrong!

The things you will read on this so-called true-funny blog of mine,

Really are true, and challenge my sanity  and mind,

Please persist reading, and you will find,

Why I have logicality, hopelessness and despondencies entwined!

Off to Sherwood to collect my glasses,

I’ll call on Jenny and Doris, such lovely lasses,

I’ll leave them a treat, containing molasses,

Might get a chinwag with whoever passes?

 ———————————————

Caught the lift down with no problem at all,

Left the bag, hope they have a ball,

Returned to lift lobby hall,

Catching the elevator, not easy at all,

I was so frustrated and appalled,

25 minutes later, the lift responded to my call!

 ———————————————

Rushing out to Chestnut Walk, slipped and broke my shoe,

Clouted it on the walker’s wheel, surely there is some good luck due?

But what made me saddest, was the bus had departed, early too!

So, all het-up now, I legged-it, passed-wind, and feared wanting a poo!

 ———————————————

On Winchester Street, The walker ran away from me,

I chased it, and is facticity,

I wedged it against a box for electricity,

To take this phot, but not with enough adequacy,

I stopped it again but with inefficacity,

No doubt about it, this was going to be a trip of paucity!

———————————————

I got down the hill, energy’s what I did lack,

I must get the bus up the hill going back,

I called on two shops to get cleaner and a snack,

Off to the optician’s, the one drawback,

I was wearing a sort of anorak,

I was so hot, but didn’t hold back,

Got in the shop, and took the receptionist flak,

I was late, it seems was her crack!

———————————————

I had a long wait to be seen,

Not that I was all that keen,

£300 to pay, never again to be seen,

Crosswording while I waited,

The receptionist called me to be seen,

The lady dealt with me, glasses were fitted,

I got quite jolly-fully contented and witted,

Until it came time to pay, the nI was fritted!

I’d forgotten my pin number again,

I think the lady thought of me; “What a Pain!”

From crying out loud, I did refrain,

She got the money through, this seemed diaphane,

How I don’t know, so I asked her, it felt germane,

I didn’t understand her, and felt a right dumb-brain,

Thanked her, pretending to understand, I did mislain,

Still, she didn’t moan or complain!

Then out and up the hill, to catch the bus again!

———————————————

I had to doge another Pavement Cyclist, he gave me a fright, 

I was too tired to comment or get into a fight,

I’d run out of the Kryptonite! 

Would I make the walk home up the fearsome hill? I might! 

Down to the traffic light corner,

And the bus passed by, I was too late!

I checked the next ones time and date, 

40 minutes, too long to stand and wait,

So I set off, limping, with an unsteady gait!

The hill looked a fearsome sight, 

The prospect of climbing it, made me feel uptight,

Sorry that I didn’t wait for the bus, I felt contrite!

Anyone seeing me struggle up the road must have seen a sickening sight,

I was sure the gradient was gaining height?

The hobble home seemed infinite

At the top of Winchester, the parkers made things tight,

For breakfast, I should have had some Marmite,

The time went by slowly, and things went quite,

Somehow, up the last part of the hill, I did expedite, 

To see a harrowing sight,

The 40 bus arriving, some tenants did alight,

 My energy was drained completely now, flat!

Didn’t have the energy for eating my cervelat,

Must not fall asleep, I’ll have to do summat,

I got back to the apartment, Zzzz; that was that!


After this abysmal, Whoopsiedangle-ridden trip, the poor old twit, did have fleeting thoughts of a suicidal nature. but he did not act on them – He fell asleep! Haha!

Inchcock’s Third Escape from the Lock-Down, to Nottingham. Photographically recorded!

Inchcock’s Third brave but stupid, Escape from the Lock-Down

We understand, that the Nottingham City Council Security, the Police, and the newly-formed Boy Scouts Woggle-Anti-Lock-Down-Escapers-Retrieval-Team are after him, again!

He arrived at Upper Parliament Street, where he spied and ogled some Nottinghamian ladies, on his way into the Poundland Store, had a Dizzy Dennis visit, and came out with more unwanted goods, such as Zoflora disinfectants, Carnation milk pots, Cooked beef misshapes, and 3×8 bags of his destroyers-to his diet, Frazzles!

He paid the lady, who helped him when he had his funny-turn and dropped his money on the floor, thanked her and made his way to the Bargain Shop on Milton Street. Observing a pair of fine legs-displaying young Nottinghamiam lady, crossing the road against the cross-walk lights. He forgave her we understand.

He patiently waited for some fine bottom-shaped, Nottinghamian Mothers to get there ankle-snappers locked securely in the pushchair, then entered the store. Hoping they would have some of the Pakistani made potato cakes, and lemon air-spray in stock. They didn’t. But the old fool felt so guilty at the thought of not buying anything, he bought a pack of four-mini oven trays, for £1.99, and left to walk through Trinity Square, up the incline, so as to take some pictures of Trinity Walk, but got yet another visit from Dizzy Dennis, and hobbled down to Upper Parliament Street.

The first of the Pavement Cyclist he saw on the short hobble, all-but ran into him. He claims to have called out, “You silly boy!” and waved at him.

Investigations are underway to find out what he actually shouted!

He limped down Queen Street to Nottingham’s Slab Square.

His near-miss at being run into again by another Nottingham Pavement Cyclist, (he says) drew a slightly more forceful response. The old grumpy claimed he said “Tsk! You rascal!”

He walked across to South Parade, where he took a shot of the side of the Council House. Not many folks there, so he turned back and took one of the Square.

He hobbled down Arcade Walk. Amused at how the Nottinghamians were totally ignoring the signs written on the paving stone, to keep to the left.

St Peter’s Square; and the silence was overbearing.

He says he felt like a disaster was about to take place, as he avoided another of the many Nottinghamian Pavement Cyclists.

He told our reporter, that he wanted after over a year and a half, to go into the M&S Foodhall, to get some treats from there ready-made meal section for himself. Shame that. He could not gain entry with his walker to any door but one, all the others have stairs or step that needed tackling to get in. So, after a long painful hobble around he found the doorway, and for his bother, got walked into by two rather large ladies coming out. He could not tell what they said to him, but the words were accompanied by some well-used, superior class sneers and curled lips.

Then he had to walk for what seemed miles, to get to the lift down to the Food Hall. Luckily, there was no one wanting to use the lift, which pleased him, but felt odd, the place used to be very busy all of the day? When he got down, it was a very sad sight! The Coronavirus has had a shocking impact, for M&S. Fridges were curtained off and not in use at all! The usually well-stocked shelves looked bare, by comparison now. 

The fool paid £2 for a tiny bag of small potatoes, £1 for a mini tray of basic mushrooms, £2 for small-box of Frites, and £2.50 for four minuscule potato-rostis!

He got to the checkout and had another Dennis Dizzy visit, and Stuttering Stephanie hit him. He claims he was overcharged, but who knows, in the state he was in, owt could have happened.

The poor old senile nincompoop struggled to get up the lift and out of the one door he could use, and onto Lister Gate again.

Back wearily up Exchange Walk, with his famously-reliable EQ, telling him that hassle of some sort was on the way. Which didn’t take long to arrive!

He took a zoomed-in shot with his little Canon camera towards King Street, as a Pavement Cyclist zoomed by his, and he felt the draught the speeding idiot made!

Another Pavement Cyclist came into view.

Then another one, too!

This one came close to hitting the old codge, he came from the rear. Inchcok refused to tell me what actual words he shouted at this Pavement Cyclist.

This particular Pavement Cyclist gave our Nottinghamian pensioner a few looks!

The old scrote carried on his way up to the bus stop, and a final Pavement Cyclist belted by him. He claims he was tired, pee’d off and Dizzy Dennis was visiting him again at this stage. There might be something in what he says cause he can’t remember the bus ride back to Winwood Court!

He says he didn’t see a single policeman all day!

The can recall getting off of the bus though, he cracked his ulcered ankle on the trolley-walkers right-hand back wheel!

This was written and potomagraphed, under great stress. Just thought I’d mention it!

Inchcock – Wed 16 Sept: My busiest, but happiest day for months! Two nurses visits! Chinwags! I was in heaven!

TFZ in the hallway in his mansion!

Wednesday 16th September 2020

Somali: Arbaco 16ka Sebtember 2020

02:35hrs: I came back to a sort of ersatz life, and was in need of a wee-wee. No surprise there, then. I rose gently from my £300, second-hand, c1968, dilapidated, not-working, cringeworthily beige-coloured, rusty, rickety, recliner, and did so with relative ease. Got the stick and caught my balance, and woggled-wobbly to the EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket) and took a rather unexpected LHLB (Long-Hosepipe-Like-Blasting) wee-wee! There was no AMD (After-Micturition-Dribbling), either? I took the bucket and emptied, washed and disinfected it.

I got feeling instantly guilty, as, on my the way to the kitchen, I espied positive signs of my nocturnal-nibbling activities! And not just a few Quaver packets, but three, an empty yoghourt pot, and a stick from an iced-sucker as well! (Guilt-Ridden-Mood adopted).

To the kitchenette, and got the kettle on the boil, and took a photo of the morning view, with the Nikon, in aperture-priority mode. Not one of my bestest, but still. I heard creaking noises, but could not find where they were coming from. They sounded as if they were all around the flat? And the mysterious ‘Hum’ was getting louder again?

So, I had a look outside to see if I could hear any in the flat’s hallway, but no! The newly screeded concrete flooring had feet marks on it already. They were Josies from when she woke me up last night, methinks. They were small and opposite my front door. Not that it should matter, cause the ground is going have the imitation wood flooring tiles fitted on it soon. But no creaking sounds out there, when I returned to the flat, I heard the scrunching sounds again, but they got less often as time passed. I hope the building isn’t crumbling! Ooh-er!

I got the BP sphygmomanometer readings done. And, Oh, dearie me! The Sys had shot up to 178 now! Dia 76, Pulse 79. The last two seemed alright to me, but then again, I do get confused much more with my newly acquired Arithmaphobia nowadays.

The stick thermometer read another healthy-looking 35°c. The second day in a row that it has reached 35°, so things seem to be looking up in that department, anyway. So, apart from the silly-high Sys, things appear okay.

Perhaps the worrying about all the busy medical and other appointments coming today, might have some bearing on the Sys? Or, not!

I got the mug of Glengettie Gold tea and went to the computer. Where I took a Nikon shot of the right foot, showing me that the new, either ulcer or Clopidogrel allergy rashes on top of the limb, is growing in contrast, and spreading-out a little further? The old ankle ulcer is getting jealous methinks and is getting a smidge more flared again. Hehe!

As usual, when I started typing to update the Tuesday blog, SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) kicked off. How does the Peripheral-Neuropathy know when to get Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters and SSS, or even launched one of his involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances, and act-up at the least opportune times for me? Humph!

I went on Google and found a site called Health-Unlocked, about Peripheral Neuropathy, I joined, and hope to live long enough to find the time to take part in the discussions.

I pressed on and got the post finished, but it was annoying and frustrating work. Took me far too long, but still, Hey-Ho and there you go! I emailed the link, answered comments, Pinterested some snaps, and then went on Facebook catch-up.

: The ablutions were carried out. A total of only eight dropsies. No toe stubbings, no clearing any shelves or falls! One two mini-shaving cuts. Perhaps an even better session than yesterday! SSSSME Smug-Swank-Superior-Smiling-Mode-Engaged!

I moved the maroon jacket I’d washed, rung and hung last night, above the kitchen sink, into the wet room to dry a little quicker, and out the wall convector heater on to encourage it.

Made a start on this template, and the landline burst into life. It was the optician receptionist, telling me the new spectacles are ready for collection, at the shop on Mansfield Road, in Sherwood. I explained that today is too busy for me to get out, and tomorrow I have to wait until the Nottingham City Homes maintenance crew come to repair the fire alarm. She seemed pleasant enough, she is about 20-years-old, beautiful, and of course, head over heels in love with me and craves my attention’s and body. Ahem!

I decided to get the carpet up and take it to the bin outside, I’m sick of tripping-up on it. But what exertion and a struggle it was to get it up. I lost my balance rolling the carpet up, but kept from going over – and stupidly went into a Smug-Mode. Manipulating the rug and putting gorilla tape around it to stop it falling open on the journey down to the bin, and talk about timing again; Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, launched one of his involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances, and over I went, falling on the recliner chairs arm. A bit of a bruise, on my massively over-sized, blubbery-stomached torso, now. Humph!

I got the rolled mat near the front door and made up some black waste bags and a recycling sack ready to go down. I couldn’t go yet, in case the sweet, highly desirable, pretty, beautiful, attractive, loin-testing nurse Hristina should arrive while I was outside. 

Minutes later, the intercom buzzed and flashed. It was the Vampire nurse. I admitted her, I don’t how she got up to the flat so quickly, she let herself in and raced to wash her hands, then took the blood in record time! The sweet thing was very busy, as she took the blood, she told she had eighteen calls to make, and she’s spent ages trying to find somewhere to park on-site. Bless her! I slipped her a mini-bottle of champagne before she left, and she scurried out to get to her car, worried she might get a ticket. ♥ Which left me feeling down a bit, and so sad for the gal.

Then, I got the bags on the trolley, and ~I’m not sure even now how I did it, but I got to the waste chute room and deposited the small bags, caught the lift down tot he ground floor, and got out to the bin – all while dragging the large carpet along with me! And what’s more, without any Accifauxpas or Whoopsiednagleplops! A definite Smug-Mode adopted, accompanied by a sly-smirk!

Back in the foyer and back up to the flat. Made a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea, and back on the computer to carry on with the updating of this post.

I noticed later, that the view outside, looked rather like a Legoland erection. That’s not the right word, is it? Tsk! So I took a photo, and I still think it looks like a toy-town view. The colours being similar and the odd murky lightness perhaps?

I made a mug of Glengettie tea to replace the Punjana one that’d gone cold, and I returned to the computer. The right foot was itching a bit, so I had a peep at it. The new marks had now grown less intense than earlier? It’s all a mystery to me!

Sister Jane rang, we had a decent chinwag for once. Good timing, Jane! Brother-in-law Pete has many hospital appointments made, and more in the pipeline! But I’m glad he’s being cared for and they are moving fast.

While we were nattering, I heard a thud and wondered what it was. Said my farewells to Jane and Pete, and went on the hunt to see what had caused the noise, accompanied by some tap-tap knocking from Herbert, but it didn’t last long.

The questionnaire from  CityCare Continence Service. They confirmed the appointment is for 10:@15hrs, at the St Anns Valley Centre. 

A lot of instructions and advice, plus the actual questions to be answered. Nine A4 pages! So I settled to try and get them filled in.

Blimey, that took me over an hour! But it turned out good timing, the Intercom lit up and the tune played. It was Caroline from the Falls Team keeping her appointment with me.

She let herself in and set to sorting me out. She set the new walking frame up a little higher, then and watched me using it. It was not a pretty sight. A few stumbles and much kerfuffling later, we decided I’d try out the wheeled server instead. She opted to send the walker back, and suggester I use the server more.

Which made sense to me, as the wheeled-server, would be easier to use and more effective when I get Shaking Shaun, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, or Peripheral-Neuropathy-Pete, launching one of his involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances! I appreciated the kind help. It was so nice to have someone to have a little chinwag with, as well.  We made the decision to return the frame, and I must try to use the server more, it is safer.

Back on CorelDraw while I await the Sainsbury order coming. I made a graph from the local Coronavirus report.

Sainsbury order arrived. A mixture of delightful, (Lemon Sole for Jenny), naughty (Limoncello for Josie), and my fishy favourites, and some Farmhouse Sourdough bread (a wickedly tasty-treat for myself!) Potatoes, farls, Surimi, fish sticks etc., Great!

I got the fodder inside and stored away, getting my nosh for the night prepared. A good selection of delights: Buttered Sourdough bread, Irish potato farls, smoked streaky bacon, Jenny-supplied yellow and mini-red tomatoes, egg mayonnaise, pickled extra-strong pickled onions, and some fiendishly sweet after-nibbles of, mousse and black grapes.

After the busy day, and the excitement of seeing two hard-working, sweetly-pleasant, caring nurses attending to treat and help me, chinwagging’s, and my mood on a high, I enjoyed this feast so much. Taste-Rating; 8/10! Having the sourdough bread, was a wonderful, but naughty self-treat. That’s it now, once these bread has been finished, until next month. With the thought of eating some more, mingled with the sadness of having to go back to the usual loneliness and chatter-less days coming up.

Still, I’ve got things to look forward to, like:

  • Getting to the opticians to give them £300 and collect my spectacles.
  • The Dentist visit for three fillings and an extraction!
  • The St Anns Continence Service clinic for my bowel and bladder scans.
  • The Warfarin Anticoagulation and Deep Vein Thrombosis Clinic visit, to have my DVT reassessed.
  • Cardiac Team at the City Hospital, to have my mechanical aortic and mitral valve replacements, sounded.
  • And, to find someone who will cut my toenails! Hehehe!

I took the meal things to be washed, and moved the box I’d carried the food into the kitchen with, and came across some ‘Lego-Cards?

What are these all about?

Took the medications, and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968 recliner. The thrills of the day must have worn me out, cause I’d nodded off very quickly, and stayed that way, for Six-Hours! Yee-ha!

Inchcock – Tuesday 15th September 2020: A day of confusions, inopinables and frustrations!

TFZers Retreat

Tuesday 15th September 2020

Greek: Τρίτη 15 Σεπτεμβρίου 2020

02:30hrs: A befuddled brain greeted me as I stirred into ersatz life. Through the mind’s fog of haziness, came the reminder that today is a stay-in-the flat one. (The 12th-floor’s lift and flat lobbies are being screeded today, so we had been given the choice, from Nottingham City Homes to either sod-off-out, and don’t come back until the job is done and dried enough, or to stay in the apartment until we are told we can leave) I opted for staying in, let’s face it, it’s not much of a change for me, from what it’s been like for the last six months or so. Hehe! I hope there are no fire-alarm activations.

The demand for a wee-wee arose, and I could feel the bladder’s intentions of leaking some PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribbling). So, I grappled to get my wobbly, overlarge, adipose, avoirdupoisly flabby and flobby stomached-body free of the recliner, and to the OGPEB (Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket) in time. I made it, but only just! Phew! The mode of wee-wee was a change from recent visits to the bucket have been. A rare VSWAO (Viciously-Spraying-Wildy-All-Over) type!

The effects of the splashbacks meant a good cleaning up and disinfecting of certain areas as required.

Off to the wet room to take a photograph of the morning view, and for the clean-up, then to the kitchenette, to get the Health Checks done, and morning tablets took. I used the Aperture-Priority setting for the picture taken from the kitchen window.

I found pleasingly, that the SYS sphygmomanometer reading was down at last, to 148. Much betterer than of late! I got the kettle filled and plugged in, got a tasty Thomsons Punjana teabag in the mug. 

Then I searched around for the stick thermometer, it had fallen behind some boxes of tablets in the drawer, the little monkey! Hehehe! Amazing, another good result. The temperature had gone up to its highest level for months? Right up[ to 35.7°c (78.25°f), much nearer the required level.

I had a close look at the feet. The new growth on the top of the right foot was no worse. The ankle ulcer scar was much more lacklustre and fainter. I did see some new papule spots appearing on both patches (ankle and top of the right foot), but they don’t last long as a rule.

I made the brew, took the medications and off to the computer. I had received an email from Lisa, in Ohio. She’d sent some photographs of the cats, past and present. I’ll ask he is she minds if I put them on a blog. Then got down to the long, drawn-out, Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters failing and making things difficult with typing, hard work, updating yesterday’s diary. Took me far too long!

But, hopefully, I should not get interrupted with any deliveries or callers today, with the 12th-floor being cut-off from visitors for a few hours. Hope I can catch-up later.

Went on the WordPress reader section. Sent the link off. Updated the photo albums on Facebook.

On CorelDraw to get some page-top graphics done. I must get some in advance! Course Wednesday is going to be a busy-busy day, for Inchcock. Fire Alarm repair by Nottingham City Homes. Warfarin Nurse to take the blood sample, and I must remember to take the Warfarin tablets at the right time; if I remember. Also, l must call the opticians to see when the goggles will be available for fitting and collection. Caroline, the falls-team nurse is calling to test and sort out the new walker-frame. And the Sainsbury order is arriving late again this week. So sleep is bound to be another struggle! persuading Sweet Morpheous to join me will not be easy. Humph!

I’m having difficulties at the moment, with the hearing too, for no known reason that I can find. Hearing this morning is far worse than usual, and I keep shivering, and it’s not cold at all in here?

It would be nice if something happened that just might make me feel a smidge ecstasiate! Ah, well! Onwards!

Oh, heckithump! I’ve not done the ablutions yet! Change of plans, off to the wet room, then!

As I got in through the wetroom door, without any hitting or walking into anything, I might add, and with a contented smirk on my treble-chinned face, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived.

This visit to the Throne was a little different. I fully expected a rock hard-struggle and got the crossword book out ready. But no! Things went so quickly, painfully still, mind, not messy, not stinky, but the released product was massive!

It seems the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The ghosts, hobgoblins, boll-weevils, aliens, gremlins, grotesqueries, urchins, karakia-cursing entities, hallucinations. materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, kehuas, manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; ‘To destroy the sanity, confuse, and scare the hell out of Inchcock’ Grobleknackerbangles!

Then, of course, the cistern did not cope with getting rid of the waste product at all. I spent ages, refilling the tank by hand, and reflushing, oddly the toilet paper as well as the poo-poo would not clear. Even after four tries. I’ll give it a go again after the ablutions are done. It’s all go, being aged and living here!

: The teeth-cleaning was not painful, no cut gums, and only one dropsy!

: The shaving was only bit more bother, though; two cuts, three dropsies, and I cracked my right elbow against the damned sock-glide retrieving the foam spray can!

: Showering went tremendously well. No dizzies, no clouting any body parts, or toe-stubbing against anything either! A few dropsies of the shower gel, soap and loofa.I was well-pleased with the ablutionising up to now.

Aware that anything can happen still, I took extra care in the towelling off, and that went smoothly, too! This is great!

The medicationalisationing received even more care and patience from me… I did have a bad moment when the Germoloid cream was applied, a bit of balance-loss, but no real bother! I just had to adopt a Smug-Mode, Defcon Two-level!

: The freshening up and dressing caused the only real hassle of the whole session, right at the end. Grumph! Getting the fresh PPs on, and I lost my balance again lifting the leg up to get it into the pants, I turned quickly (for me), to use the shower chair to grab a hold off for stability. I misjudged the distance, (no glasses on), and clouted my left elbow this time, on the door frame.

Of course, it didn’t hurt at all, and I didn’t spit! Also, I refrained from using any bad language. Ahem!

I had a go at flushing the WC again, it needed two more, but I think things might be gone, now. I’ll nip back in a bit to check it again.

I noticed as I was struggling to get the slippers back on, that the new whatever it is coming on top of the right foot, seemed to be getting a little more noticeable. 

I wonder what it is?

I got to the kitchenette and got the kettle on for a mug of Glengettie Gold tea. Took the midday tablets.

Then I got on the step-ladder to lean out of the light & view-blocking, thick-framed new (obviously devised by a photographer, old-people-hating, overpaid, and germaphobia suffering) window designer. 

Herbert was tap-tapping and knocking away again, I’d love to know what he is making up there. Maybe its a model of the Sistine Chapel, a full-size pyramid or a pipe-bomb? Hahaha!

Got an update about Nottingham Coronavirus.Not looking good.

Well, the graphicalisationing went slow, Tsk! After hours, I’d only got two more done. I’m tired and have to keep awake for the food delivery coming. I can’t make-up and take the rubbish bags, because no one has told me if I can go out or not yet (04:40hrs) in the foyers?

I can’t take the carpet that needs taking up either. I’m weary and growing grumpy. The normal routine then!

I got some nosh prepared, and it was passable. Taste Rating: 6½/10.It was eaten slowly, during which, it dawned on me that I had got the dates mixed up for the Sainsbury order, thinking it was coming tonight, not tomorrow, the mind was in a terrible state of disorder.

I got the pots washed, took the evening medications as per instructions, and got down in search of Sweet Morpheus. It was like, a miracle; if that’s not too strong a word, I dropped off into the bliss of sleep within twenty minutes or so! Super!

The door chimes rang out waking me up, Oh, dearie me, again! I tried to ignore them, but they persisted, and I had to drag my elephantine body from the warmth and pleasure of sleep, to the door. It was Josie, once again calling late for me, to return the Sunday lunch things and some more uneatable (diabetes), chocolate biscuits for me! I realised as I was lip-reading what she was saying, that I only had my PP’s on! Embarrassment flowed!

Josie really can’t remember about me getting me head down early every day, it’s every week that she wakes me up, often more than once, but with the best of intentions. She forgets about my diabetes and brings me nibbles that I’m not supposed to eat nowadays, in thanks for the Sunday lunch, bless her. It’s not doing me a lot of good, because I can never get back to sleep again. I thanked the gal, and decided to take some photo’s of the screeded floor in the flats lobby, I was feeling wide awake, now! Tsk!

I’m not sure if the new flooring will go in the lobby areas or not. The mind was now, too active for Sweet Morpheous.

Poor Josie, we both suffer from bad memories, and I was coping with the discomfiture of answering the door, half-asleep and wearing only the PP’s, as well! What a pair we are! Between us, we could write a script for an old peoples comedy series. Hehehe!

I did eventually get back to sleep, but it took an aeon or two! Humbug & Grumblecronkackers!

Inchcock – Saturday 12th September 2020: A busy day, in every way!

Saturday 12th September 2020

Welsh: Dydd Sadwrn 12fed Medi 2020

I think?

03:45hrs: I woke rather suddenly, with two expergefactor needed immediate attention – A wee-wee and even more urgently, to use the Porcelain Throne! The later was at the stage of making me nervous as to whether I’d make it to the wet-room in time. It was a panic-stations, injury-causing charge, to get free of the recliner, grab the stick, get my balance, and reach the Porcelain Throne before something escaped prematurely! And by heavens, it was a white-knuckle of a close call!

The evacuation began before my bum had made contact with the raised plastic seat! The whole operation was over in a couple of minutes, considering yesterday’s forty-minutes it took! The pain was far less than yesterday, no mess, and only a little bit of bleeding. (I should have been ready to go into a Smug-Mode, but I didn’t, ’cause in haste to get here in time, I got entangled with the stick as I opened the door in my panic, and gave my right shoulder a hefty thump against the doorframe!) And it was stinging something awful! Hey-ho!

It was almost a pleasure to clean myself up and was a quicker job than it had been for a few days now. So I allowed myself a tiny Smug-Mode, after all. Changed the PPs, getting a bit low on them now. Then, off almost in a contented mood, to the kitchenette.

As I entered, I thought ‘Gawd Blimey, the Hum is loud this morning, the loudest its ever been! And so different, I stood still (apart from Peripheral Neuropathy inspired shaking right-leg, of course), and soon realised when I opened the window to take photographs of the morning view, that this noise was not the dreaded ‘Hum’. Once I got my head out of the window, I could hear the Hum, and it was not too loud at all? Confused, I took a photo in two modes on the Nokia. The wind was not over-strong, but it was flipping cold with it!

Then, I had a hobble around the flat to see where this mystery Humming was coming from. It was the loudest in my mini-hallway? So I opened the door, and it became louder than ever. Maybe it is some machinery from the rooftop plant rooms? If I can hear it, what about the poor devils on the higher floors? If indeed it was coming from above, of course. I’ll have a read of the Winwood Heights on Facebook later, to see if anyone mentions it.

I returned to the kitchen, made a brew of Glengettie Gold, took the medications. (Remembering to separate the before and after eating-food tablets, and midday ones – [Massive Smug-Mode-Engaged]) Hahaha! Then got the Health Checks done.

Oh, dear, dear, dearie me! The .sphygmomanometer showed an even higher Sys reading this time, of 168. I mentioned the high BP to nurse Caroline; they might address it at the St Ann’s Health Centre when I have the bladder and bowel scans.

Still, the stick thermometer gave a decent figure for me. Either 33.1 or 7°c. Which is a tad higher than it has been of late, methinks.

I took the brew with me to the computer and got it started. My best intentions and plans of what needed doing in which order soon went out of the window! The first part went alright, and I got the photos from yesterday uploaded, checked and resized them, and went to move onto updating yesterday’s diary. But I got sidetracked when I noticed a picture of the Sock-Glide then got an idea for doctoring it into a funny one, which was too strong for me to resist!

I lost a couple of hours plus on CorelDrawing, creating the graphic. I then had the brainwave to do a funny poem with it and use it as a stand-alone post. Luckily I resisted making up the ode yet, and brought myself back under semi-control of the brain, and then got on with the updating, else I’d be late doing the ablutions. Tsk! I got myself into a pother there!

By now, the ablutions had to be done, in case the walking frame or Rehabilitation Nurse called me. Both are due to happen today or Sunday, they tell me. So, I need to get the ablutions done before either arrives.

Another fantastically injury-free session it was too! I have to say, the leg ankle and foot ulcer was looking far better this morning. The toes seemed to have warper with the Colin Cramps and Arthur Itis, I imagine to be to blame for that. And a new growth was coming up on the left side of the right foot. Still, variety is the spice of life, as some twit said.

Painless teeth-cleaning – No, repeat, No, shaving cuts or nicks! Okay, a fair few of the dropsies shaving, mind. The showering did cause a few Whoopsies and Accifaupas, but not any toe-stubbings, or dropped shower-head! A smirk creeps across my triple-chinned face, dimples develop, as a semi-smile emerges, and the head shakes gently with pride!

I got myself all medicationalised, then thought I was in need of the Porcelain Throne again. I got the crossword book and seated, awaiting the motion to start. But nothing moved, other than wind. Mmm?

Off to make up a bag or two for the chute, and get the pod peas podded, pronto.

This bag looked a lot fresher than yesterday’s did. I got it opened, just as SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley gave me a bashing, but no bother, I used the picker-upper to collect the fallen peas and returned them to the bog, no, bag, on the wheeled server tray. Schluberduberski!

I got a few more actual peas from this bag. And, just one pea lost, shot off somewhere too quickly for me to see it.I’ll have a look later, I might find those that disappeared yesterday as well. Humph!

The clouds were looking attractive.

Very late on, I managed to get the diary updating finished. Hurrah! Pinterested some snaps used. Emailed the link. On to Facebooking catch-up.

Time is running out now, but I must get some TFZer graphics created; I’ve only got one left to use.

So, on to CorelDrawing again, before I fall asleep, I feel so suddenly drained. Poor old thing. Hehe! 

Hello, that sounds like someone knocking on my door. Not ringing the bells, must be a stranger? I’ll investigate. Nope, no one was around. It might have been Herbert doing his models for charity, or some poor soul dropping something.

I must get graphicalising, but I’ll make a brew of Extra Strong Assam first.

Failed again, instead of graphics, I made a funny blog in rhyme, about the Sock-Glide. Got it posted off.

Too tired to do owt else now. Hours passed my usual head-down time. I’ll get some nosh made and eaten.

The old memory got a smidge vague here. I’m sure I rang Jenny hile I was making the meal, but can’t find any notes, that I usually scribble to remember and use later. I’m almost sure it was because I suddenly recalled that I had forgotten to ring to thank her for the tomatoes yesterday. I did find some scribbling on the small pad in the morning, that I usually keep on the Ottoman, next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, puke-making, beige-coloured, rickety, not working, rusty recliner, but they were indecipherable. I’ll give Jenny another ring tomorrow, to see if anything arrangement-wise, or decisions were taken during the phone call – or even if I did ring her at all. I shouldn’t try to make calls so late in the day for me. Proper-Sad, innit?

The meal came out looking fine and tasty, a reet-treat. I’m almost sure I enjoyed it.

Washed up and took the evening medications.

Then tried for some Sweet-Morpheous searching, a futile gesture. I was so weary and tired too, but I was still belatedly laid there, over three-hours after getting my head down! Cragknackles!

Inchcock Reveals His Current Fears! – In Rhyme (Of sorts)

Believe it or not, Inchcock created this depiction of his Sock-Glide from memories of a nightmare, that the poor old fart suffered two nights ago. It’s so sad!

Inchcock Reveals His Current Fears!

Reading further may cause harm to your sanity!

Yes, he was young once… he still is, mentally!

Born, and got myself double-pneumonia,
Thrown in the canal, I nearly drowned in 1954,
I got rescued, only scared, wet and sore,
The medics said the boss is going to warn yer,
The Doctor said “You’ll never get brawnier”,
Next, I got shot, then the Duodenal Ulcer,
Top of the charts was ♫24hrs from Tulsa♫,
Then the hernia, and bladder cancer.
Had to have the ticker transplanted, years ago,
It doesn’t bother me now, though, 
Then I went and got shot again,
I knew my bad luck had to end, but when?
I stopped working in the Security industry, then!
I came off my motor-bike in the fog,
Out of hospital, had some police dialogue,
They fined me £20, speeding, I was agog!
Got a job driving a delivery van,
And became quite a Casanovan,
Got made redundant three times, lucky man!
Retired, well it was enforced of course,
But I had little remorse,
Got a part-time job, selling pickles and sauce,
When I reached 70, we had a discourse,
Then the Peripheral Neuropathy was diagnosed,
Got the tablets mixed-up, and overdosed,
They said stay indoor, well, I wasn’t opposed!

Then along came the stroke, of the ischaemic type,
Saccades, as well, of dear, this medical hype,
But I wasn’t one to moan and gripe,
I recovered, but physically, I’m a load of tripe,
They discovered I had diabetes,
Life became full of abstrusities,
My ailments seem to grow complexities.

Next, I’m using a walking stick,
Unbalanced, falling-over, it made me sick,
No choices then, at home I have to stick,
I fell, and gave my neck a crick,
I’m no longer the witty, clever-dick,
But I somehow cope, and that was fantastic.

Then along came to visit us,
The Corona Virus,
Isolation, no going out walking or on a bus,
Every day new instructions, what a fuss,
But at least I got rid of furuncle’s puss!
Until disabilities meant I couldn’t bend down,
And the worst, that really gets me down…
It’s bad enough doing your own syringes,
Is the bloody Sock-Glide, frame,
I gave it a go, I was really game,
But it keeps taking lumps out of my fingers,
And I don’t like these whinges,
Using the Sock-Glide means many cringes,
It’s not just the pain – mentally you’ll find it unhinges!

This claptrap was rit rote, written by Inchcock, with dedication and stupidity in support of the Peterborough & District Failed Philharmonic Orchestra Players, collection fund for the Bankers & Investors Roadkill Hospice Advocacy Society.

Inchcock – Fri 11 Sept 20: Now I’m booked in for Bladder and Bowel scan, Diabetes course, Dentist, Cardiac Reassessement and Physiotherapy. Getting busy innit?

TFZers Celebrating at the new ‘Cool-It-Cabin’. ♥

Friday 11th September 2020

ODIA (Oriya): 11 ସେପ୍ଟେମ୍ବର 2020 ଶୁକ୍ରବାର |

Indo-Aryan language is spoken in the Indian state of Odisha. It is the official language in Odisha (formerly known as Orissa) where native speakers make up 82% of the population, also spoken in parts of West Bengal, Jharkhand, Chhattisgarh, and Andhra Pradesh.

04:10hrs: Well, what a waking up it was this merry morning! I was in a depressive state of clinomania, on a right-downer. Sensing that this phenomenon was due to a dream I’d been having, but not certain. The Thought-Storms began, and this only confused me more than ever. By the time I’d jumped to another worry, I’d forgotten the previous fear or concern that I had been battling with… a soupçon of sadness, too – but what at? Blurblecrubs!

I should be feeling great, after all, I’d had about five hours of sleep and a dream that I think was a nice one. For a minute or two, I was reconnoitring within the brain-box trying to find some understanding, then it dawned on me, ‘It didn’t matter one iota’. I sneezed heavily, and instantly felt the need for an urgent wee-wee! But the brain was still not too interested. But the bladder forced things along. I grumpily, labourously made my way to the wet room, having to increase my hobbling-pace as I felt the ominous PMD Pre-Micturition-Dribble) leaking.

I got there before the main show, and after the pathetic tinkling wee-wee, I washed and had to divert from putting on the new PP’s, and get sat down for a Porcelain Throne session. But things were as solid as a rock, the movement nudged and stuck, but the pain continued, yet again. Lucky Sod Me!

I was sat sitting there on the Throne for about fifteen minutes. Just too painful for me to try and rush things along, so I got the crossword book out. Do you know, I got more answers in that sat-there time than I have for weeks! Amidst the agony of each innards-controlled edging things along, I found myself singing ♫ ‘Bring me sunshine, in your smile, Bring me laughter, all the while, In this world where we live, There should be more happiness, So much joy you can give, To each brand new bright tomorrow ♫ (Can’t remember any other words, Hehe!)

The last long agonising evacuation was even more painful, but that did not stop me singing to myself, and even trying to whistle while I washed, medicated the rear end, and got new PPs on. In about half an hour or so, I’d gone from miserable to merrily soliloquising, and now, even a little light-hearted? (Worra change!)

I actually had some breakfast this morning! (Oh, Yes! – Smug-Mode-Engaged!) Fair enough, not the healthiest, but still. A pot noodle and a banana to follow!

Then I got the computer on. In between many PWWWs (Pathetically-Weak-Wee-Wees), and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters failures, I finally got it finished, many hours later. With no mugs of tea, but many a wee-wee! Hehehe!

As I pondered on whether to make a brew or not, I did fancy a Glengettie, I felt like a tasty treat… Then it dawned on me, I have not taken any medications or done the Health Checks! (I thought I was doing well, Humph!) 

I limped rather steadily to the kitchenette, and put the kettle on and then got the stick thermometer to take my temperature with. Using the Kodak camera. I did the usual and took a photo of the reading. No, I can’t read it either. Grumph!

Got the medical hemadynamometer, or is it called a sphygmomanometer, I ain’t sure, but anyroad, the results for the Sys was back up high again. Dia and Pulse look to be okayish to me?

Made the first brew of the day, belatedly, mind, and back to the computerisationing. I Pinterested a few snaps, went on the WordPress Reader section, Emailed the link, and answered all of the comments, well, the comment. Poor old devil!

Time to get the ablutions done now. A quick PWWW first.

  • Then, I launched a little too enthusiastically into doing the teeth.  Toothache-Trevor got very annoyed with me and showed his displeasure in the usual way. Argh!
  • Also dropped the mouth ash bottle, but yet again, it didn’t break!
  • Nasal Hygiene Spray:  Got the dropsies with it this, as it hit the floor, the sprayer at the end of the can, snapped off! I hope to be able to find it when I get around to cleaning the wet room sometime. Tsk!
  • Shaving: Ah, some good news here, only two razor dropsies, and one wee nick under the chin!
  • Stand-Up Wash: Pretty good, and I think that the old ankle ulcer, is getting paler again, but still spreading out as if it wants Lebensraum! Haha” Not pleased with this new camera! Of course, it will most likely be something I’m doing wrong, Humph!
  • Towelling off: With not having got the shower wet, it was easier to avoid knocking anything over on the floor cabinets!
  • The Sock-Glide was not fought, or fraught again this morning. No socks on got to wait in for the big-letter landline phone being delivered, by Amazon. Nothing to do with my being, nervous or scared of using it, naturally. Oh, no!
  • Medicationalisationing: I put some Savlon cream on the ankle ulcer. Germoloid (It’s good stuff, really calming!) on Harold’s Haemorrhoids. I think there is only on furuncle left that is big enough to give me any bother, creamed that as well. Phorpain gelled the knees, wrists and the wear & tear induced Osteoarthritis in the finger knuckles. I even managed to get some Phorpain on the back, cause Back-Pain-Brenda is starting to kick-off again.
  • Although I didn’t go over when getting the fresh PPs on, it was a close call. Dizzy Dennis to blame.
  • Of course, I was proud of my sheer guts, abilities, dexterity and bravery in avoiding going over! Mind you, I did hit my shoulder against the door frame, setting off SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley! By the time I got out, SSS and BBB were joined by Reflux Roger in making me a little uncomfortable. Criggleblogsworthisms!

Got dressed (No socks of course), and sorted some black waste bags and a big recycling sack to take down to the bins. Got them on the three-wheeled-walker, and added some treats for Jenny that I forgot to take yesterday.

 I nipped back inside, to make a nervous check to ensure I had not left the heater on, lights, stove (apart from the slow cooker), or anything else missed.

All looked good, and I made my way to the door again. I found another hand-delivered letter reminding us all on the 12th, and 13th floors, that the screeding (Screeding a floor is a simple act of applying a well-blended mixture of Ordinary Portland Cement with graded aggregates and water to a floor base, in order to form a sturdy sub-floor that is capable of taking on the final floor finish or act as a final wearing surface) was being done on Tuesday next, the 15th September.

I got to the waste chute room and deposited the small black bags down the shaft, problem-free. (Smug-Mode-Adopted) Got the lift down to the ground floor, and had the pleasure of having a little mini-chinwag with Frank and Doris.

Then out and put the big bag near the bin. By gum, it was windy out there, not cold with it, mind you. I limped with the trolley-guide along Chestnut Walk to the Winnwood Court main entrance and made my way inside. Said my hellos to Wardens Julie and the new gal. (I think Deana is on holiday)

Departed and noticed that the tub flowers outside the door on Woodthorpe Court were getting a battering in the wind. No bodies were around as I got inside the lobby. I caught the elevator up to the 9th floor, and put the bag near Jenny’s door, rang her bell, and departed back to the lifts. Up to the 12th floor and back in my apartment. All without seeing a soul on the way back.

As I opened the door to manipulate the trolley guide in, and yet another Hand-posted letter had been delivered. This one was about giving each tenant a chance to vote for one of three flooring options that we fancy A B or C. Box to post back, in the ground floor lobby.

Herbert was keeping company with the odd tap-tapping, while I updated this blog.

 Getting late now, the weariness is setting in. And the landline phone burst into life ringing and flashing, it made me jump a bit. Hehehe! I answered it, and it was a lady from some NHS medical department, but I didn’t catch the proper name of it.

I had been referred to them by Caroline of the falls team. After a lot of her trying to find me a place that is open at the moment, the Sherwood one is still closed, and her efforts found me an appointment for me to have a  bladder and bowel scan done. The only place available was St Anne’s Health Centre, and she got me an appointment for 10:15hrs, on October 15th. (I think). She will send me a letter, with a lengthy questionnaire (she warned me) in it, for me to fill in, and a leaflet about the procedures I’m to go through. Gulp! 

I updated this diary again for an hour or so, then thought about getting something prepped for eating.

The door-chimes rang out their Dusty Springfield’s tune of ♫ I only want to be with you ♫. I got some clothes on as quickly as I could and meandered swiftly to the front door. It was the Amazon delivery of the new big-button old second-hand landline phone. It had been left on the floor outside the door.

I bought it in and left it near the radiator. And returned to the front room to save the computer work, then get the meal sorted out.

The door-chimes rang out their Dusty Springfield’s tune of ♫ I only want to be with you ♫ again. Aha, thought I, the driver, might have forgotten something. Back to the door, and there on the floor, something I adore, a bag of yellow tomatoes and a note, from Jenny, bless her. These fruits will become part of tonight’s nosh now! Thanks, Jenny!

I started to get the fodder for the night sorted out, and guess what, The door-chimes rang out their Dusty Springfield’s tune of ♫ I only want to be with you ♫ for the third time!

Well, blow me down with a feather duster!

This time, I was at the door within a minute or so, only to find nothing? The motion-lights in the lobby had not even been activated? A Ghost perhaps?

(Aye, the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, Hallucinations. Materialisations, Poltergeist, Lemures, Wairuas, Kehuas, Manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; ‘To annoy and scare the bejesus, out of the old Inchcock’).

Back sorting out the meal again. For once, I remembered to take the before-eating medications, leaving the after-meals ones for later. I’ve not done this for ages, I must make more effort on this in future!

The yellow tomatoes were tasted grand, the potato farls fine, everything else passable—a flavour-rating of 7/10. (Must do a Sainsbury order for next week in the morning! – a self-reminder this is really)

The pots were washed, and I settled down to watch the A-team on the telly. Fell asleep and woke up to the ending credit rolls. Tsk!

Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley ensured that I could not get to sleep again, for ages. Humph!