Inchcock Today – Friday 7th August 2020: A sedentary type of day.

Thomas checking his loco at the TFZers Cool-It-Shed?

Friday 7th August 2020

Scots Gaelic: Dihaoine 7 Lùnastal 2020

05:15hrs: Oh, what a good start to the day! The right arm and Harold’s Haemorrhoids were giving me a fair bit of gip from last night’s Accifauxpas. I woke and moved my lumberingly bellied-body to the edge of the seat in a hasty response to my needing a wee-wee. Slipped and lost my grip on the arm of the c1968 recliner, and thudded down into the solidly built seat, the hurting began, I felt the blood flow from the rear end, but no time to feel sorry for myself, I had to get smartly to the GPEB (Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket), for I apperceived that the diabetes-inspired insipidus, namely the PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribble), was showing a determined interest in leaking! Botherations!

The drip-dripping from Little Inchy was not-stoppable. The wee-wee was of the most annoying ones, a WSSULL (Weak-Squirty-Spraying-Uncontrollable-Long-Lasting) style. I had to wait then for the PMAD (Post-Micturition After-Dribble) after-dribble, to have it play. Gruffungrobblings! Then took the bucket to the wet room, got the GPEB cleaned and sanitised, and the Haemorrhoids treated and medicated.  I could get dysbulia, you know!

Silver Lining Search Results: At least I didn’t walk into anything!

I gingerly made my way to the kitchenette. As I did so, I got a message from my EQ, ‘You ain’t seen anything yet, youth!’ Oh, dear!

I got the Health Checks done and took the medications.

I opened the life-threatening, thick-framed, rain letting in, unable to get at to clean, window, and took a couple of photographs of the morning view. I realised how lat it was from the lightness compared to how dark it usually when I get up.

I got the photographs downloaded to the computer. Then did some comment answering, and checked the emails, and answered some. Did a graphic or two for tomorrow’s template.

Then went to get the stand-up ablutions done. All went pretty well this morning! A few dropsies, of course, a tiny nick shaving. A fair session! Although each movement I made, and pain would come from an ailment, bruise or strain. Hahaha!

I made up five small black bags of rubbish and fastened the recycling bag. Ready for me to take them down later on after the nurse’s visit and the trousers are delivered. I was feeling a smidge industrious? Hehehe!

I came across a letter I must have dropped yesterday. It was about the Electoral Procedure. Which reminded me that I had not called Deana yet, to ask her if she’d be kind enough to call the Doctors for me, too early yet, though, I must remember to do it later, now there’s a well-used Inchcock phrase! I wonder what the chances and odds are of that happening? No, I do feel confident, I’ll remember!

I got the Thursday post finalising started, and the intercom rang. It was the Iceland order, nice and early this Friday. The chap put the bags inside the door for me.

I thanked him, wished the lad well for the day ahead. And moved the bags into the kitchen to unload them,

I got the bags opened a sorted. Taking a photo of the fresh-food carrier contents. And somehow managed to cram them in the fridge and freezer. I’d got a treat of the Vienna suckers to give to the Wardens, but they wouldn’t go in the freezer!

So, I got on the mobile phone, the new one, that has no internet on it, and called the Winwood Heights, Desktop Dancer and Obergruppenführeress Warden, Deana. I begged her to help me by phoning the surgery for me to arrange an appointment booking for my Flu jab session and told her of the treats I can’t keep frozen for them. She said she’d pop up when she got a chance.

As Deana arrived, Sister Jane rang, concerned that she had not received the blog link yet. I explained quickly of the hassle was having. I’ll ring her back later. Deana, bless her cotton socks, told me she’d ring them, but can’t before gone eleven, as instructed in the letter. She’ll ring me later with the appointment time.

I took a couple of photos of the shadow cast view, and a zoomed-in shot, from the lethal, windows on the balcony, of the City Hospital.

It doesn’t look very big in this picture, but you ought to try getting lost in it, like wot I did. Haha!

Then I took another one, facing towards Nottingham.

Oh, did I mention yesterday, that the window cleaner told of a lady in Winchester Court, who opened one of the windows on her balcony, and it fell in on her, causing injuries that needed hospital attention?  They kept that quiet!

The good delivered, by the way, included a few kitchen towels as well! Why you ask? Well, I’ll tell yers of the reasons!

  • They are on a Special Price.
  • I do not have faith that the Corona Virus will not come back! Be prepared!
  • They are perfect for cleaning your glasses, nice and soft, but stronger than the others.
  • And the optimum size to let you have a good nose-blowing. Haha!

Deana phoned me back, the appointment was made for Saturday 11th October, at 09:57hrs, for the flu-jab. A bit precise that? I pondered on it, means getting a taxi methinks. A bit dodgy walking there in an hour, and the toilets being off-limits when we get there. Thanked her and put it onto the Google Calendar.

Jenny phoned me, and we had a jolly good natter, which I enjoyed.

I realised that it’s gone midday now, and for various reasons, I had not even made a start on this blog, yet! It’s going to be a long day!

As I got ready to begin the updating, the door chimes rang out. It was Robert, the caretaker. He’s found the trousers and bleach from Amazon, had been left in the foyer of the flats, on the ground floor! Nice, that! Thank you, Amazon!

Robert had brought them up for me, bless him. He opened the box of bleach, with nine bottles in it, for me. The trousers stated they were brown? Ah-well, when will I learn! Rob even took the waste bags down with him for me. Thanked him, slipped him a can of drinkies, and off he went, bless him.

I got the bleach and trousers stored, and went out on the balcony, to snap the wonderful clouds. I could see a figure in them, and still can for once, of an animal’s head. My nephelococcygia was rampant! Hahaha!

Took a few more snaps from the balcony windows. The above red pap-paps are for anyone who likes red pap-paps. Hehehe! For Billumski, somewhere in Kentucky, really, I think.

Got caught up belatedly, neglectfully, on the Facebooking.

The fodder was prepared and served up. Far too much, but that was because I’d got the Chinese belly pork in the oven, forgot about it, and got roast belly pork slices on the plate, then remembered the belly pork! 7.2/10.

Did the pots. Down in the c1968 recliner, and was within ten minutes, off into the land of nod.

Spent the night waking and going back to slumber, repeatedly. Shame!

Inchcock Today – Thursday 6th August 2020: This diary contains an Ablutionalisationing Injury Communiqué, Not for those of a nervous disposition!

TFZer Cool-It-Cabin get-together!

Thursday 6th August 2020

Welsh: Dydd Iau 6ed Awst 2020

02:45hrs: I woke up with an astronomical vagueness all around me. It took me a long time to gather my distant, reluctant thoughts into some form of semi-logicality. Suffice to start arranging and forging some kind of recognisable sense out of them! 

The distractedness of last night had not fully cleared away yet. The fuzziness began to clear, and be replaced with the worries, needs, and plan-making for today.

I realised that the new window cleaner was coming today, also that I had planned yesterday to get the kitchen cleared to give him access to the windows, and I had not done so! Fertummelt! This task became my priority.

I struggled out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, rickety recliner, grabbed the stick, caught my balance, and limped to the kitchenette. The most urgent thing was to get the window ledge cleared. Not an easy task, Dizzy Dennis was on the attack! For much of the time, I needed to use the four-pronged metal walking stick, which made progress slow down to a pathetic level. Then, thankfully Dennis calmed down.

I was annoyed with myself when I saw the recycling bottles that I’d forgotten to take down with me yesterday! Clunk-head!

I took a snap of the window afterwards and tried to catch my reflection in the picture. Hehe! The bald head and the bulging flabby stomach tend to stick out a bit. I’ve just noticed when putting the photo in, how much the man breasts tend to protrude, too! Hahaha!

The summoning from the innards for my attentions being suddenly needed at the Porcelain Throne arrived. I wasted no time and beat a path (although a slightly wobbly one) to the wet room. Oh, what an improved, less painful session it was! It still hurt, of course, but compared to the last couple, it was heavenly! Also much quicker and not messy at all! Mind you, it left a pong that was not very pleasant. Ah-well!

Back to the kitchen, and got the Health Checks sorted.

Oh, ‘eck! The SYS had shot up again? The body temperature showed as just, ‘Low’. I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana.

Got the computer on, and had to make a head-top graphic, due to failure to make one yesterday! Humph!

I updated the Wednesday post and sent off the email link. Then made another brew, of Glengettie tea. (a thirst on me this morning!)

I took two shots of the morning view, the first in Aperture Priority, the second in Auto mode. I think the Auto one wins for more accurate colour?

Got caught up with WP comments, and then Facebooking.

I had a look on Amazon to see if they still had the cheaper offer on the Dettol lavender disinfectant. They had, but it said, ‘Only one left in stock, and unsure if any more will be available’. So muggins here, the favourite retailers type of shopper, ordered it. Then had a desperate last search for brown trousers available in my size. And bought some. I noticed an offer on Domestos. And bought some! Is there such a disease or illness called AGI, Amazon-Gullible-Idiot, I wonder?

Had a go at the WordPress Reader, then off to get the ablutions done.

: What a palava! After the two reasonable, indeed, good, last two sessions. It was back to the regular ablutioning experiences, with the Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxparing this morning.

Ablutionalisationing Injury Communique

  • The teeth cleaning set Toothache Thomas on the rampage! Then I stabbed myself in the gum with the toothpick!
  • I broke a razor! (Gawd knows how, but there you are!)
  • Dropped the foam spray, razors (4), and cut me near my earhole shaving. (See below, it was a most artistic of bleeds. Beautiful original job!)
  • Trying to make sure I didn’t stub the toe when moving the shower chair, I banged my poor old, already multiple-bruised right arm again! Gramshackles!
  • I tooketh the shower, and clouted my right arm on the shower box, when I had mini-dizzy, seconds later, I hit my left arm on the grab bar! (Now I was getting so annoyed with myself, and using naughty language!)
  • It had to happen I suppose, with me being so wound-up, I stubbed the toe against the shower seat legs as I moved it back after taking the shower! The language was getting a tad bluer, now!
  • I dried off without any problems. (There, I got something right. Hehehe!)
  • I dropped the Cortisone tube, and during the medicating, Little Inchies fungal lesion began bleeding! Humph! It took a bit of stopping!
  • The rear end furuncle became inflamed at I applied the Germoloid cream to Harold’s Haemorrhoids! I had quite a few tender areas stinging at the same time now! It wasn’t pleasant. Hahaha!
  • Leaving the room, I had a ‘drift-to-the-right’ episode, and clouted my right arm on the doorframe, yet Again!

No doubt about it, I was pleased to get out of there, and for the incidents to be over! Most annoying, especially as the previous couple of ablution efforts, had gone so well!

The right arm has taken a bashing lately. I just don’t seem able to judge distances accurately anymore. Peripheral Neuropathy?

But, I was pleased I’d got a photograph of the artistic bleeding during the shaving nick bother. Do you think I might stand a chance of getting an offer from the Tate Gallery? Hehe! How the blood ran the route it did, I found surprising. Hey-ho!

A mug of tea, and back on the computing. 09:10hrs and no show from the window cleaner yet. Of course, this started me of twittering, fretting and almost convinced I must have got the day or timing wrong. (I’ve no confidence lately either) The chap arrived ten minutes later.

Did a quick,  efficient job, and charged me £15 quid for the windows and sliding balcony. Did a fair good job. Booked me in again for a month’s, September the third at the same time, I think he said.

Herbert above was doing some tap-tapping and knocking again. I wonder if he is making a wardrobe from scratch? As long as he’s happy. Which is saying something for a laconic taciturnist like John (Herbert) is, compared to an argle-bargle, deipnosophist type bloke, like wot I am! Hehehe!

I made up an order for Iceland and then did a search for a word that I cannot remember. It means someone who is not talkative or revealing. I wanted it to put in the paragraph above, but can’t find it. Gribbledukes! I might not, well, I do not know what the word, but feel confident I’ll know it when I see it. Tsk!

I pressed on with this blog, and the door chimes rang out. It was the postman, delivering my last pack of 6 long, lambswool socks (for winter, if I make it) I stupidly ordered from Amazon. They have soft diabetic top grippers. Now I will be alright for socks, anyway. I’ve probably got more than enough pairs to see myself out. So in the event of my croaking out, I’ve put them in the airing cupboard, for anyone who fancies them.

Got the oven on and put the smoked haddock flavoured fishcakes, in. I must remember to add the fries in ten-minutes. Then hopefully, they will both be ready at the same time, but, ‘best laid-plans’ and all that!

I got the latest figures for Covid-19.

Then I tended to the nosh making duties. The sky was looking good, well, I mean the clods. Even if they were a tad on the dark side.

The fatigue arrived, a little late than usual, and I gave up on computerisationing and got the meal prepared.

And what the festival of a feast it was, too! The smoked haddock filled fish cakes were so moreish! The last of the truffle fries were used (Iceland no longer stock them, Boo!). The surimi stick enjoyed, The Piccolo tomatoes excellent, as was the egg mayonnaise! A well-worthy 8.5/10 for flavour-rating!

I got te pots washed, and settled down in the £300, c1968, unkempt, rusty, rickety, not operational, sickenly beige-coloured, uncomfortable, harmful to haemorrhoids, grotty recliner. Turned of the TV, and chose something to watch, and drifted off into the land of bliss within minutes!

I woke in a bit of the panic, the need for the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket) was indeed urgent! The diabetes PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribble) tinkled away well before I got the bucket! The SSPO (Short-Sharp-Painful-Orange) variety release was soon over, and off I went to the wet room to clean up, disinfect the bucket, and change the PPs. Walking into the doorframe as I went in. This right arm is going to have more bruises than ever! It’s already tender, just putting a coat or jacket on hurts. Hey-ho!

As I got back to the recliner to sit down, the right leg burst forth with an involuntary right leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance, ending up on my bum on the floor, banging the right arm on the way down, and in agony from Harold’s Haemorrhoids, and the leg just kept on kicking out for a minute or so. I stubbed a toe against the metal leg of the swivel chair! 

Not one of my easier Accifauxpas. Claggknackles!

Miraculously, no severe damage, just pain and frustration, oh, and the long-winded challenge of getting my humungously-large flabby-bellied body, up and into the seat!

I was sure the grey-cells would start chewing things over, and Thought Storms would arrive. I was so wrong! No joking… I nodded off, as Sweet Morpheus came, and slept for… wait for it… Seven-hours! Unbroken at that!

Inchcock Today – Wednesday 5th August 2020: A few suspirations expelled today!

TFZer Eve, at the Cool-It-Cabin ♥

Wednesday 5th August 2020

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 5 Awst 2020

23:15hrs: I stirred into imitation-life, still feeling a little giddy, and stiff in certain areas, and a headache from last night’s tumble in the kitchen. Then Colin Cramps kicked off in the left leg, oh, boy, was he in a bad mood! Eventually, he eased off, but it seemed like it took an hour, but was in reality about five-minutes I should think. Blanglebotherations!

The demand for the Porcelain Throne attendance came from the innards. So, I disentangled my overly-stomached body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, rickety recliner, caught my balance, got the stick, and off hobblingly to the wet room.

I soon forgot my aches from last night. As the evacuation started, then stopped part-way again, and I had to suffer the pain in waiting for the action to restart. It was even more painful than yesterday! Made worse, I think, by my forgetting to take a Macrogol, with the toppling-over Accifauxpa mayhem. 

I spent at least ten minutes trying to get solutions on the crossword book. Eventually, an agonising bit at a time, things were released, but it was so cringingly hurtful in doing so!

The carbuncle and furuncular affected rear-end parts were inflamed and tender. And Harold’s Haemorrhoids were stinging like never before! The medicationalisationing took ages to get done as well! Humph!

But, at least the evacuation itself wasn’t messy, bled a bit again, though. Cringleblastitt!

The arm I clouted last night, on my way down to becoming a crumpled heap on the kitchen floor. (Haha!) It is was worse this morning. In fact, the bruise is already clearing up.

To the kitchen, and I did the Health-Checks. The sphygmomanometer readings were about right, I thought. The temperature came out as ‘Low’. Then I sorted out the three look-alike little white tablets to identify the Furesomide so as not to take it.

Then a straightened things up of the mess I’d left from the Accifauxpa last night. Made a brew of Glengettie tea, then, I got on with updating the Tuesday post. Got it finished and sent to WordPress. Emailed the link, then added some bits to Pinterest. 

I attempted to get the kitchen in some sort of ersatz tidiness. But the right leg was playing up, Neuropathy Peter was tweaking and twitching.  I hope he’s not working up to launch another one of his involuntary, right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances!

So, I made a start on this post. I went to make a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea. I and noticed the moon still trying to get through the clouds, and displaying itself, it looked amazing. I went for the camera, but the planet had been cloud-covered by then.

It seems it’s going to be another loud ‘Hum’ day. It looks all over and coming from and going to all points of the compass. (I’ll word that again, it came out wrong methinks? Tsk!) The dreaded ‘Hum’, which is usually worse on one side of the building, was everywhere, and of a higher volume.

Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley started acting up, as I got ready to get the ablutions sorted, and I caught the thrice-bruised arm on the door frame as I entered the wet room, and had an involuntary careen to the right. I believe I might have muttered silently, something like ‘Oh, botherations’!

  • The teeth cleaning was done in a gentler fashion after I irritated Toothache Thomas straight away. Argh! comes to mind. (Two dropsies)
  • The shaving had too many dropsies to mention in detail. But, only one insignificant cut!
  • Moving the shower chair, I managed to clunk the toes on the metal leg.
  • The showerhead was dropped and retrieved, then I dropped it again!
  • I banged the multiple-bruised arm on the grab rail, Twice!
  • Dropped the shower gel bottle twice.
  • Getting out of the shower, I went to turn on the wall heater, and stubbed the same toes that hit the chair leg, on the raised seat metal support!
  • The towelling off, went well, with no knocking anything off of the cabinet this time.
  • The medicationalisationing process had several droppages, the Pile Cream, Germolene, Vasaline tin and Little Inches fungal lesion’s Ethamethasoneb cream tube.

I was vigilant and cautious when leaving the room, thus avoiding any more walking into or catching the door and frame! A Low-Degree-Smug-Mode-Engaged!

As I got out of the room, the damned ‘Hum’ was louder than earlier! Gragnackles! I made up three small waste and a recycling bag.

Got the empty glass jars rinsed out, and hobbled back to the wet room for a wee-wee, which turned out to be of the HPSUOC (High-Pressure-Sprinkly-Unexpectedly-Orange-Colour) style.

I set off out with the bags on the three-wheeled trolley, to the waste room. All the fire doors were wedged open again.

In the lift lobby, there were signs of the decorators getting ready to start work. I got to the room and put the small bags down the chute. Then waited patiently for the lift to arrive. A lady was in the cage and invited me to go with her, but what’s the point of rules? If it had been anyone from my floor, I have been tempted. Families can go together, and we on the 12th have nearly been cohabitating for years. Hahaha! I took about ten minutes before a free lift arrived, No rush, though. I got out and had a nosey at the notice boards, but couldn’t anything new or that appertains to me, on them.

Out into the fresh air, and had a stand, leaning on the trolley-walker guide, I just nosied up and down Chestnut Walk for a while.

Then I noticed across the road, an abandoned-looking three-seater sofa? I was curious, but not strong enough, twas but a velleity. I took a zoomed-in shot, for no particular reason.

As I turned to set off to the left, along Chestnut Walk, I got the third toe-stubbing on of the day. I got my foot entangled in the rear wheel of the trolley. Ooh, it didn’t half sting and made me jump! Humph!

I indicated a thumbs-up and asked the two highlighted- jacketed chaps, in a cheery, happy-go-lucky fashion, if they were alright. No answer or acknowledgement came in return. Maybe they didn’t hear me, it was a bit windy.

I wobbled along Chestnut Walk, surprised that there were so few tenants about, with the bus being due. No chance of me getting a chinwag in, then! Shame!

I picked up some bits of black painted metal on the edge of the grass as I went along, I’ll pop it in the bin on the way back. I’m sorry I did that, the bending set Back-Pain-Brenda off. Hey-ho! My spirits were waning now.

I got as far as the entrance to Winwood Court and saw the 40 bus at the stop. I decided there was no point in my going any further, so turned around and made my way to Woodthorpe Court. As I went to put the metal bits in the bin, I saw these two easy chairs, and realised they made up a three-piece sweet with the abandoned sofa! I’m quick, sometimes. Hahaha! Presumably, some yobs or travellers had been intending to nick the furniture and had been either spotted by someone or they found it too heavy to take any further? See that? I went straight into Sherlock Holmes mode then. Hehehe!

I put the bits I’d picked up in the bin, and got indoors and waited for the elevator. Malcolm, my bydweller arrived. We got a lift quicker this time. Of course, had I been on my own again, this would never have happened, it needed someone with a bit of luck and good fortune, that in this case was Malcolm.

I got in, and the kettle turned on. Although it was a natterless short little trip, being ignored, and pulling my back, litter-picking, I was in a bit of a chirpier mood now. I even began singing to myself, and I was ignoring the tap-tap, crunches, thuds and bangs coming from Herbert in the flat above. I wonder what model he’s working on making?

I got on with updating this blog for a couple of hours, then had to return to the Porcelain Throne. A certain amount of trepidation accompanied me to the wet room. The thought of the agony I might have to go through again, of dearie me. I hoped that the Macrogol and Senna tablet I took after the last Throne nightmare, would work.

The evacuation turned out to be far less painful, it just hurt this time. Haha!

Back to the computing, and ten minutes later the landline rang! It was the Anticoagulation and Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) service at the QMC (Queens Medical Centre) The nurse did a question and answer session with me. I was straight to the point when she asked how I was coping. There was a little intrusion from Stuttering Stephanie, but she was patient with me, bless her.

I was open, about the problems I’ve been having with the Warfarin taking, and mentioned how I suddenly become confused over things and so forgetful. I explained the problems with Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters, the tablet pods not having the medications, that look alike pills not being separated, my bad mobility, and the peripheral neuropathy being made worse by the stroke. I’ve no idea if she fell asleep or put me on hold, but she didn’t interrupt while I was in full flow, so’s to speak. Hehehe! For the first, she said she is going to speak with my Doctor about things. Not sure if that is good or not, but it can’t be any worse than the lack of communication I have now. Getting to the surgery is a physical nightmare.

Apparently, the target for getting patients Warfarin correct has been changed. (Hence this call?) She told me my record of in-line results, was 13.8%, the new target is 35%. Mmm! I do hope something can be done. By that, I mean I can get some actual help or assistance of some sort. I forgot to mention the sock-glide, Duodenal Donald, Diabetes Derek, and Anne Gyna! Tsk!

I’m not going to get excited or too hopeful, mind you. I thanked the lady muchly.

Now I’m not so perky. I pressed on with the blogging, and the front door chimes rang out Dusty Springfields ♫I only want to be with you♫ tune, and off to the see who it was. Unfortunately, I banged my right arm against the rooms door frame en route. I almost let out a Calliopean whine, but just managed to contain myself.

It was the postman, bringing forth a parcel and letter. I thanked him and got to the front room to investigate the letter. Getting mail, email or messages, always make me nervous until I find out what they are about, the nI can decide whether to panic or calm down!

The message was from the Doctors Surgery. I must telephone them, after 11:00hrs, to make an appointment for a flu vaccination. Pointing out the necessity and urgency, with the Covid-19 rise in contractees in the Nottingham area, and my being a high-risk classed patient. The appointment is to be made for either Saturday 3rd October or Saturday 17th October 2020. It added a change in procedure due to Covid-19: (Italics = my penn’orth added)

  • DO NOT come early to your appointment; You will not be allowed in the building until your appointment time. Only you as a patient will be allowed in unless you need a carer to attend with you. (Carer? Wots one of them?)
  • Due to the large number of patients attending, there will be no on-site parking (except for blue badges).
  • DO NOT ATTEND if you have or anyone in your household has a fever, a new cough, or loss of smell or taste on the day. Mmm!
  • Face Mask/Covering MUST BE WORN when attending.
  • Please be aware that our facilities, such as toilet and water fountain, are not available to use. Which will be interesting, considering it will take me an hour and a bit to walk there? Better take an empty bottle with me?
  • Please wear clothing which gives easy access to the upper arm. Will a tea shirt do? Hope it doesn’t rain!

This session is for flu vaccinations ONLY, therefore the Doctor/Nurse will be UNABLE to deal with any other treatment at the time of your appointment. Hopefully, nobody will faint or have a heart attack, then!

I’m feeling weary and fatigued suddenly. I’ll get some nosh made up, and see how I am then.

I enjoyed this Surami delight meal. 8/10.

I was doing the pots when the dizzies and confusion started. All a sort of vagueness until I was waking up in the morning.

Inchcock’s Doze, Prompted this Little Prose

Inchcock’s Doze, Prompted this Little Prose

Old Inchie fell asleep,

His nocturnal dreaming was so deep,

He managed as least, an hour of sleep,

He woke up, a quivering mental heap!

Here are the few bits, his memory managed to keep.

I was being pursued, by a mob, so violent and profligate,

Through corridors, offices all in an abandoned state,

They fired guns at me, I wondered what is my fate?

Then came across, a securely locked gate!

“Hello,” I thought, “You’ve had yer lot, mate!”

They caught me up, one with a tattoo on his forehead,

“Death to Inchcock, He must be bled”, it said,

Other’s followed on, I was surrounded,

But it was them, that became dumbfounded!

They removed their helmets, and put spectacles on,

One said: Ayup, he’s a right odd one!

I revealed and flashed my furuncles at them,

I squeezed the biggest boil, the pus you couldn’t stem!

 The purulence peppered into their faces,

Couldn’t have done a better job, if it was faeces,

They all ran off and were gone!

But the gang may come back, so to be sure,

I thought I’ll batter my way through this door,

I used my chin to batter my way through, why, I’m not sure,

But I remember, it was bloody sore!

I got outside, I was so elated,

Success? Surely this for me isn’t’ fated?

Victory for me? I was addlepated!

Out I climbed, and fell off of the roof!

Off to the hospital, to get medicated.

To the operating theatre, I was taken,

The anaesthetist smiled as he grabbed me by the neck,

As I saw the writing on his hat

And, I thought “Oh, flipping ‘eck!

And that was the end of that!

Inchcock was under the influence of liquid codeine, morphine sulfate, several pints of Strongbow cider, a swig of Dettol, and a bottle of Domestos lemon bleach.

But his suicide effort failed, so he wrote this ditty instead.


Merci Mon Amis!

Inchcock Today – Thursday 23rd June 2020: A good job I don’t suffer from atychiphobia!

TFZers at the Ball?

Thursday 23rd June 2020

French: Jeudi 23 Juin 2020

03:20hrs: On stirring back into ersatz-life, the urgent need for a wee-wee, forced me out of the c1968 recliner, up onto my pins, lunged for the walking stick, and to try to avoid any urge incontinence, as quickly as I could manage it, hobbled over to the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket). The mode of wee-wee had changed back to an OSUAD (Orangey-Sprinkly-Unpainful-After-Dribble) type for once. Which was welcome. The PMAD (Post-Micturition After-Dribble), was less.

I went to put the kettle on and tried taking decent snaps of the dark morning view.

Then the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived with the usual stagging tummy pains. This time it was followed this some nervous-making escapages of wind. So, another nippy-limp was required, to the wet room. This photo of my arm is a mystery to me! I found it on the SD later. Why I took it, or if it was another mistaken-taken one, well? It on the SD card, between the morning sky shot and the hemadynamometer picture, so I must have taken it in the kitchenette?

The Throne Session went better than it has done for weeks. Painful, yes, but they always are since the stroke. Not too pungent or pervasive, only specs of blood, and it was all over so quickly. Yee-Ha! I washed my dandies and contact areas and back to the kitchen.

I made a mug of Extra Strong Assam tea and left it to brew stronger. Then got the Health Checks done. Starting with the BP sphygmomanometer. All the readings looked good!

The new thermometer would not work, I changed the batteries, and this made no difference whatsoever. Kroinkles! I used the old stick one that just showed as ‘Low’. I’m not sure it’s ever showed anything else since I bought it. Hehehe!

I also found this photo on the SD later. Why I took it, or if it was another mistaken-taken one, well?

It was taken before the BP one? Ah, the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The energumen Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing-entities, Fire alarms I cannot hear, hallucinations. Materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, kehuas, manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan, ‘Let’s annoy and scare the hell out of Inchcock mission?

I was worried a bit, in case I’d been having memory-blanks again. The way my mind is this morning, it’s a good job I’m writing everything down, recording notes to use on here.

For some reason, this brought thoughts of St Anns Health Centre visit for the podiatrist, next Monday. Specifically, when I came out of the Nursing Home after the Stroke, and couldn’t get my toenails cut then, a nurse phoned them at this place and booked me in. I had to get an early bus to get there.

I arrived with the walker, it took what seemed ages and a long way around the route to get into the place (See photo above). Steps I couldn’t climb didn’t help! Then, they refused to do my toenails, I had too many ‘issues’!

What chance do I stand now? I’ve been diagnosed with diabetes, axonotmesis neurotmesis neuropraxia. Also, the neurotransmitter nerves dying all down my right side. Saccades since my last failed visit? And am having troubles with the INR blood level! So what chances do I have of them cutting my nails this time? The Sherwood Health Centre, who usually do me, but cannot book me in until November 28th, with the queue of people in the same boat as I am, told Deana to try St Anns. My spirits sank at the thought.

Looking at the plates of meat, I felt even less confident. They look so anaemic and bloodless, and the toenails, surely they will see the agony they are causing me, and help me out with a little clipping? Mmm!

This may sound like an old, pathetic, sad, not-coping very well geezer’s desperate plea for help. That’s because it is! Gragnangles!

I made a brew of Thompsons Punjabi tea, the last one went cold. Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley made me spill the milk. Flagtoggles!

I took several photographs of the view outside, the lighting with the sun slowly coming up from behind, and some grey clouds, I thought, gave them a differentness? The last one was taken from the pod (balcony). The white spot on this one, is a reflection of the light bulb – I think?

When I got on the computer, it became glaringly evident that Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters were starting to play up again. Ever-correcting and making mistakes. So frustrating and time-consuming. But I got on with the job, finally, hours and three wee-wees later, I got it finished and posted it off to WordPress.

Off to make another brew, Glengettie Gold this time (one of my few pleasures in life – are you crying at my patheticness yet? Hahaha!)

I went on Amazon to do some bought product revues. The so-called lemon disinfectant, I gave Two Stars. The Hoisin sauce, I gave five (top).

It was late enough now, for to bother Jenny, and ring her for help with arranging the taxi for Monday. Stuttering Stephanie visited me, Tsk! Jenny said ‘No Problem’, and she would get back to me when sorted. Bless her!

I went to get a rinse, and minutes later, Jen rang back. She had made the pick-up for 08:45hrs, to be on the safe side for me get there in good time for the 09:10hrs appointment. Knowing of my lack of confidence in getting the toes cut at that place before, she reminded me to tell them that the Sherwood Health Centre informed Lap-top dancer and Warden Deana, to ring St Anns when they could not fit me in. Which I will do, thanks, Ma’m.

I forgot to mention to Jenny that I had ordered some Self-Raising flour for her on Morrisons order for next Tuesday, and also forgot to ask her if she’d be kind enough to make a note for me like she did last time, in case Stuttering Stephanie kicks off when I’m in the taxi. So, I rang Jenny back, told her about the flour, and forgot all about asking about the note. Puggleclump-dimwit! 

I went on the long-overdo Facebooking catch-up. Then on the WordPress Reader section.

But, necessitation, necessitated the need of new graphicalisationing needing to be done. Or the IAABW (Inchcock Alamalgated Association of Blog-Waffling) will come to an end! So, onto CorelDraw, to make some up. Hehe!

Getting the meal prepared, and with his usual perfect timing, my Xyrophobia suffering, over amour-propred Brother-in-law Pete, rang, to update me on his treatment process.  He’s going back in the City Hospital on Monday for eight-hours of being micro-waved! It’s a big thing for the lad, but he sounded pretty-much ready for it. He may go home ‘Glowing!’, and aliens might try to contact him through the ether!  Hehe!  So this soon put me in my place, Monday, the same day as I’m going hopefully anyway, to get the toenails and feet treated, Pete’s going into the hospital to get fried, irradiated, and chat up the nurses for eight hours. Hahaha!

Best of luck, Pete, don’t fret, but I know you will. I remember when you fell asleep and fell off of the settee arm, and broke your neck! (The things you’ve done to get all of your sick-pay allowances! Hahaha!) Jane will be waiting, so you must get back safe, mate!

I got the nosh prepared and served up.

Two beefburgers, canned potatoes, tinned garden peas, tomatoes, two part-baked rolls. Apple and red grapes, followed by a fruit mousse.

I got the pots washed and had an attack from Dizzy Dennis while doing so! I am now back to one milk jug, the pretty tall one, bit-the-dust, as it hit the floor and shattered! Picking the mess up was not a pleasant task, pain-wise! Crigglebonkitis!

Got settled, and once again, Sweet Morpheus was unwilling to enfold me.

Inchcockski: Saturday 18th July 2020 – My predilection for a quiet, Whoopsiedangleplop-free life, is failing!

TFZ Harrod’s Shopper-Gal!

Saturday 18th July 2020

Greek: Σάββατο 18 Ιουλίου 2020

04:30hrs: On waking up for the first time all of the five hours I was in the arms of Sweet-Morpheus, surprisingly enough, I didn’t feel I needed a wee-wee. A rare, moliminous and infrequent occurrence, indeed! I cannot remember the last morning that I stirred not needing a tinkle! (I was almost confused) Haha!

The pain from the uncut toes and untreated leg ulcer grabbed my attention.

I got the Canon camera from the Ottoman and took a couple of pictures. At first, I wondered why the photos came out looking such a healthy glowing red-tinted hue. For none of the limbs were this colour in reality? Had I taken the shots on the wrong setting? Was the fact that the morning was so light? Had I left the light on? (Nope).

Life is short, so no time to worry about that. I have a multitude of memories, fears and guilt that is more deserving of my ‘Worry-Storms.

 Aha! Better late than never; Bladder-Blart, was in a sudden rush to inform me of the need of a wee-wee, and it was growing in urgency.

I scrambled out of the recliner, got the stick, and wobbled on painful-tootsies to the wet room. I only just managed to beat the Pre-Micturition dribble, and the Post-after-dribble (PMAD) was a lengthy affair, requiring the greatest of patience! Trust me to cop for this Diabetes Insipidus (Urinary incontinence)! As if I needed anything else to take away the precious and short time in a day to get things done! Bramcrackleshogites! I did have time to think, muse and ask myself; “Why the hell, didn’t you use the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket)?”‘Dope!’

I got the mammoth, unbelievably long micturition passing ended. Phew! And fetched the bucket and got it emptied, sanitised, disinfected and stored away! The late morning (To me) skies were holding their blue tinge, and simple as the view is to most, I thought it beautiful!

The sphygmomanometerisationing results look fine today. The pulse level was up, on what it’s been for a few months. But I think this is a good thing. Shows that Metal Mickey is throbbing away like the real thing! Hahaha!

I got the medications taken and put the kettle on, and was summoned with high exigency, and instant pains from the gut, to the PorcelainThrone! I hastened as fast as I could, back to the wet room. Fearing another embarrassing escapage! I got down, plunk! On the seat, and within I think about two minutes, the movement began, of it own accord and control, as is normal, but suddenly got a move on and soon I was sat there getting over the pain and shock at the speed of the whole movement! But, contended that the motion produced only a few tiny bits of bleeding, no mess whatsoever either! Something to challenge my negaholism?

I washed and medicated the lower regions in need. And got on with the updating of yesterday’s blog. Within five minutes or so… Yes, the good of Liberty-Global Virgin Media internet went down! I had a look at the Trust Pilot ratings and comments. Terrible, Virgin Media and British Gas have the lowest ranking of One! The remarks from British Gas on my problem told me to Email them with my full address, so I did! I got this on the right back from Google Mail! Sickening!

Amazingly it came back on in a few minutes!

Went to make a brew of Glengettie Gold. There was the lightest rain I’ve ever seen, as it hit and was blown down the window. I don’t think you can even see the fine dribblets on the photo I took through the window?

I got the updating done after a few hours and then decided to get the Ablutions done early, in case the Amazon delivery arrives. Well, it might? Or not! Hehe!

The session went stunningly well! I joke not! Yee-Ha! Dropsies totalled maybe six at most! Toothache Thomas was bothersome, as to be expected. One, yes, just one nick shaving! No dropping of the showerhead at all! Smug Mode Nearing, I can feel it! The toes nails and soles of the feet were fearfully painful, mind. Blanglebotheration!

Went on Facebooking, sent the link off, checked on the latest Coronavirus figure, then went onto WordPress Reading.

Getting tired now. Got some spuds and beans in the saucepan. Going to add tomatoes and kippers in tomato sauce later, a bit of bread, that should do me.

Unfortunately, I bent down to retrieve a dropped dish and clouted my forehead on the stove. Which sent me to the floor, and have spent ages getting back up again. This was not a good move. Especially as when I went down, I hit the dish with my right knee! Arthur Itis was not amused. Tsk!

All plans abandoned. I’ll make the fodder, and settled to recover, hopefully quietly, but must not fall asleep, as the nail-clippers are coming later from Amazon. Not for the toenails, of course, they are too much for me to reach in my state. I’d got a dizzy coming on now! Globberisations! Not good.

I’m off to get the food prepared now. Fingers crossed, I’ll do it without any injuries. Humph!

Blimus! I did get it prepared and served up without a single Whoopsie! I even titivated the plate a bit with some Hoisin sauce, that went well with the vegetable tomato sauce from the kippers (Canned this time, not fresh). The mixed beans in  ‘vinegarette water’ were fine. Kippers in veg sauce, fantastic! The potatoes, fairish, tomatoes crap! The mini-apple pies had no taste other than sugar. Overall, a rating of 7/10.

The two highlights of the meal were the kippers; and the cutting of my finger with the little knife. Hahaha! Well, I’ve not done this for ages, it had to come.

Sweet Morpheus was again reluctant to come. I got up and turned on the TV, undoubtedly as good a counter to my insomnolence, as anything? And found a football match was about to start. My third favourite team of them all, Burnley away to Norwich, was live on the box! I stayed awake through the whole match and after-comments! Burnley won 2-0, but it was against a Nine-men team, Norwich had two men sent off!

Then, I turned off the set, had a marathon wee-wee, and tried again to get to sleep.

The door chimes rang-out – Sod-it! I’d forgotten all about the Amazon delivery coming! I scrambled up out of the recliner, put the dressing gown on and hobbled with haste to the door. The chap was still there, bless him, and he handed me the parcel with the toe-clippers and camera case in it. I thanked him, and returned to the room, and put the box on the Ottoman, that’ll have to be checked in the morning.

Then the iconoclastic Thought-Storms started! And on they rambled. Guilt, fears, shame, disappointments and failures all had a bash at me.

I had to get up for a leak once more, and Dizzy Dennis nearly had me over again. I dealt with the once-again marathon wee-wee, waited patiently for the after-dribble to stop, then got back into the recliner. Amazingly, Sweet Morpheus came quickly this time. Ahh!

Inchcockumski – Thursday 16th July 2020: Not too good today healthwise. So, nothing new there! Hehehe!

TFZer Beauty Gladys

Thursday 16th July 2020

Icelandic: Fimmtudaginn 16 Júlí 2020

03:40hrs: I woke with bits of a dream lingering, and wrote down some scribbled reminders to use here: In the dreaming, I was no longer the wiseacre, but a sage, a patriarchal doyenne, a lector: I was up high on a stage, with thousands of people around that wanted to ask me for advice, guidance… I arrive late; the trolley bus broke down… there were guards or bodyguards, each wearing Robin Hood outfits? All confusing, I then found I was in a chair, an electric execution chair, and people started to come in one at a time to ask a question: I got annoyed because all they wanted to know was how to make money, the lottery numbers, horse race and football match results, and winners, etc. and so on. That’s it I’m afraid, no idea if I was electrocuted or what?

As I put down the writing pad, the need for the Porcelain Throne usage arrived, and pretty urgent, it was, too! No hesitation, I was up and out of the c1968, second-hand, none-working recliner, got the stick, and hobbled limpingly to the wet room (Oh, the poor feet and toes!) in significant discomfort.

It was a quick but painful, messy, smelly, sticky evacuation. Cleaning up and medicationing after the event, took me ages and was not a comfortable experience.  The tootsies were terribly-tender,

Stubbing my tender uncut toenails against the seat raisers metal legs, was not a good idea either. Argh! Gragglespitgurgle!

Cleaned up and off to the kitchenette. Did the Health Checks. The hemadynamometer indicated that the BP SYS was still going back up higher. Cragknackles! Took the medications, and then I made a brew of my beloved Thompsons Punjabi tea.

The sky looked beautiful again, the clouds seemed to be thickening.

The ‘Hum’ was about as loud as it’s ever been. Will mankind, the scientist, the governments ever find out what is causing this? I suppose not.

I managed to take a shot out of the unwanted, unliked, rain letting in, photographer and old people-hating designed new kitchen windows, of Chestnut Walk. Not many folks around yet.

Then on the computer and made a start on this blog, as far as here, then updated the Wednesday diary. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? I wasn’t, took me hours! Poor old thing. Haha!

Posted it off to WordPress, then I went on Facebooking.

Then, it was time for the ablutionalisationing to be done. So I did! Back in a bit, folks!

As I was going into the wet room, the Post-Micturition After-Dribble, leaked again, as a Pre-Dribble! Oh, dearie me! But this did not stop my embarrassment, no that’s not a strong enough word. Mortification is closer. Perhaps the one I want is ‘Shame’. The PPs proved their worth again! Luckily I was about to have a shave and shower.

  • The teeth cleaning upset Toothache Thomas, again, as expected. But I think it was a little less painful this morning.
  • The shaving went reasonably well, a few razor dropsies, and just the one nick of the flesh.
  • The showering had a few annoyances, I’m afraid. The showerhead had a life of its own, and this resulted in about five dropsies! How the heck it hasn’t been broken yet, is beyond me!
  • A couple of visits from Shaking Shaun, but nothing serious in the injury stakes, just one clouting of the head on the right-hand grab-bar as I bent down to retrieve it. 
  • No toe stubbings!   
  • One swing of the towel over my head to dry my back, and just about everything on the floor cabinet top was knocked off onto the floor.

The medicating went well. Little inchies fungal lesion was not bleeding, or even sore! The furuncles were not too bothersome. However, Harolds Haemorrhoids were smarting in the extreme!

I departed and got some clothes on, well, someone just might call on me. Haha!

I got my bath towel washed. Done, rung and hung of a coat hanger above the kitchenette sink to start drying, when it lost its wetness, I’ll move in onto the flat airer. It’ll likely be about September by then!

I put the kettle on and thought about having a few biscuits, or even a mini-apple pie, but as the belly wobbled, heaving the rest of the body with it when I turned towards the fridge, I decided against it. Guilt reared its ugly head! Hahaha!

I got the other white towel out, got it on the stand-up airer, warming ready to be used tonight.

As I turned to come back, I caught my right foot toes on a leg of the airer. My language uttered silently, thank heavens, was not very good, indeed, it was naughty! Tsk!

As I made a mug of Glengettie tea, the clouds seemed to be getting thicker, but no rain.

I did some updating on this blog, and then went on CorelDraw to try again to get some graphics done for the headers, I’m right out of them now.

Oh, heck, Dizzy Dennis has come at me full blast. Going hazy. I’ll have to stop and get settled down.

While I was sat quietly, the phone went and it was Brother in law Pete. I’d not sent him the link for the blog. I’m not sure what else we spoke about, but I reckon we had a laugh about something. I found some scribble on the pad when I got back up later. It must be when he’s going back in for the treatment. ‘Pete – Wednesday 10:15hrs’ I’ve written.

I got back down after the call, but could not get to sleep, which I wanted so badly. But things cleared, the fog in the brain faded, and I got some nosh sorted out.

Rice, mushrooms, tomatoes and chicken. I used the rice cooker for the first time for this meal. Turned out okay. Nothing special, but enough to make me feel a bit better in myself after I’d eaten it. Mind you, the pot didn’t half take some cleaning afterwards A flavour-rating of 7/10.

As I was washing the pots, Dizzy Dennis returned, but mercifully, only for a few scary minutes. I still decided to get back down and try to get some kip. But it was no good, I even put the TV on, that usually gets me off into slumber, but not tonight!

After an hour or so, I decided to get back up again, and on the blogging, WordPress Reading, comments etc, that I had not done yet. updating.

Oh, I’ll send the link off for Pete first!

I made a mug of Thompsons Punjabi tea. The evening medications were taken, better late than never!

Checked on the local Coronavirus latest. Then tried to get some graphics done on CorelDraw.

I did manage to do two more, but fatigue, tiredness and Nicodemus’s. neurotransmitters meant I had to get this finished and posted off, then get a drink and summat to eat, and hopefully, some Sweet Morpheusness!

Inchcocksi – Tuesday 14th July 2020: Dilly-dallying, ditherings, delays, dawdlings, and discontinuity, dominated!

Inchies nephelococcygia face is revealed at the bottom of this page

Tuesday 14th July 2020

Welsh: Dydd Mawrth 14eg Gorffennaf 2020

04:00hrs: I stirred into imitation life, and soon the need of a wee-wee, quickly followed by indications of the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. Thus, a fumbling few moments later, I was up on my painful feet, had caught my balance, got the four-pronged walking stick and was on my way hobblingly, yet cautiously to the wet-room. In anticipation and hopes that the extra Macrogol taken yesterday, had worked and things might evacuate a tad more smoothly.

Well, I got my wish, Porcelain Throne wise! The evacuation was much longer than yesterday, and the feculence about the same mass, but far less of a painful experience.

Although the mass was achromatic, almost colourless? What’s going on? Whatever have I been prescited for? Que sera sera!

I see I’ve cut off the overgrown painful large toenail in the picture I took, just wishful thinking? Grumblecronkanckers!

The most exciting thing about the legs was the difference in size. Both seem to have lost weight since last morning? I had a new stinging pain in the left leg beneath the shin, that demanded to be continuously scratched? A puzzle that! And the paleness was the same sickly white.

After washing and antisepticising, I took a close-up look at and photographed the left limb. Maybe it’s another ankle ulcer trying to develop? No, it’s too high for that. Ah, the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, hallucinations. Materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, kehuas, manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Mephistopheles, ‘Let’s annoy Inchcock’ missions?

I rubbed a dollop of Germolene cream in the whatever-it-is, on the leg, and it has now lost its itchiness altogether. (Smug-Mode-Adopted!) I ought to have been a doctor, you know. I’ve had so many ailments, diseases, operations, and accidents, it would have given me an advantage in treating others. Or, maybe not! Har-har!

There not being any need for injecting the enoxaparin now, I actually missed doing it! (A touch of masochistic, algolagnia, or sadisiticalisational tendencies showing up, there perhaps) Haha! Seriously, I don’t miss the injecting twice a day one bit!

I got sorting out the good from the bag of Iceland Jersey potatoes and saved enough to put in the crock-pot and seasoned them with vinegar, to cut down on the intake of salt. Oh, I can be so good sometimes!

I started of the Health Checks with the sphygmomanometerisationing. The SYS was down a bit, I think it will get lower as the Enoxaparin leaves my system. The lady who rang I forgot to mention in yesterdays blog, said the INR level was up to 2.3 now. So no need for any injections, but I was to keep the filled hypodermics in a cool place, not in a fridge, ready for if needed again. The dosage increases would be 2½ Warfarin a day straight through until next Monday when the next blood test is due. I thanked her and wished her well. It was Julie from the Anti-Coagulation, Haemostasis, & Deep Vein Thrombosis Hospital Clinic. (I love that title for a department!) They have cut it down now to just, Anticoagulant Clinic (Haemostasis and Thrombosis Unit). It’s lost its class now! I shall continue to use the old name for them. Humph! Hehehe!

The sun started coming out from behind the block of flats. The scene was so beautiful, I had to take a shot of it. The sun, the semi-darkness and the moody clouds made for a photograph with a difference. Well, I thought it did.

I cleaned up and made a mug of Glengettie Gold tea. Took the tablets, and made my way to Computer Cameron.

Determined to get on with uploading photographs for resizing, and off went Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley on one of her more aggressive bouts. I was getting all het-up over this. But, as it happened, some good and bad luck negated the situation.

Good luck in as much as I knocked over (Thanks to Shirley!) a pile of paperwork off of the printer! Made a right mess!

At the same time, more or less, guess what?

So, I sorted the paperwork out (Well, threw it in the bin!) Grobblegnangles!

Went to the kitchenette, and made another brew of Extra-Strong Assam tea this time, and cleaned the top of the stove. Hoping that the internet would be retrievable or back on-line when I’d done it.

When I returned to the computer, it still showed as failing to save, and I realise this is how I’d left it. So I tried again, and things had come back on there own for me. Phew!

A quick check made, on the latest local Coronavirus situation.

I pressed on with the updating of the blog. Much hampered and hampered by Shuddering -Shoulder-Shirley. Oddly, Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters were not giving me much bother at all? After many hours, I was feeling drained, and the time had flown to gone nine o’clock! But I’d finally got the much-corrected blog finished and posted. I needed another brew now.

I got to the kitchen, and I might add, was hobbling well. Oh, dearie me! The crock-pot had overflowed, onto the area that I’d cleaned up earlier! Mostest annoyed with me. I should have smelt it really, the whiff of vinegar was rather strong enough to have wafted through the flat. Hahaha!

Got it cleaned up (Again!), made a brew of Glengettie, and got started on today’s post.

Then went on Facebooking. Then made up a template for tomorrows post.

Getting late now, beyond my usual head-down time. Grumph!

Went to make a mug of Thompsons Punjana tea. And, unfortunately for me, I spotted how bad one of the rinks was on the cooker was looking. I knew that something terrible was going to happen, my EQ told me!

Now, feeling out of it mentally, so annoyed with myself, and the eyelids drooping, I saved the work done and turned everything off computer-wise. And went to get the meal sorted out. What a life. Grindingagonydamit! 

The worrying memory, is that I knew my mind was all wandering and adrift, but I just carried on, all the same? Sad innit!

I think it was the state of the hobs on the cooker that got me going first. Knowing I could not possibly clean them all tonight.

I opted to do one, the worst of them, straight away. It took me over an hour, using the new (when I bought it, many months ago!), Astonish Hob Cleaner. The only things I found astonishing was the time it took and the mess I made getting it cleaned. The fact that it didn’t look much cleaner after my farcical floundering about, really did wrangle me!

I grafted away in pain with shakes from Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, and then Nicodemus’s nerve ends dying, making my good hand keep slipping off of the scourer onto the hot plate! Which even more sillily, I had tested with the right Peripheral Neuropathy affected hand! And it was still too hot, but the nerve ends did not get the message to the brain! So, when I used the left limb to wipe… Boing!

When I burnt two fingers, on the left hand, I was flabbergasted when I felt hardly any pain at all. I think more than the hob, it was the gel-fluid that got on the digits. Then when I applied some Germolene, within minutes, I had to concentrate on seeing any marks at all! Baffling? How stupid can one man be! No need to answer that, folks!

After serving up the feast in the dish, the doorbells chimed out! I opened the door, to find that kind Jenny had left a carrier there for me, with lemon bleach and pack of four lemon mousses. Bless her!

I added a pot of mousse to the nosh tray and needed to phone Jenny and thank her for her kindness and find out if she needed anything adding to my Morrison order. I appreciated the lady for helping. Made a note of flour is required. Other things were spoken of, but they are not accessible in my brain at this time of writing, just too tired. I’ll have to ring her back tomorrow to see if I’ve missed something important. Ah, Nora was with Jenny and Frank when I rang. Lovely lady!

I got the computer on and went to see if Morrisons had any of the flour available. They only had the plain, no self-raising. I added a couple to my order, they would not allow me any more. I’ll try again later, to see if the self-raising has become available.

By the time I got around to eating the meal, it was, to say the least, not very hot. Hehehe! But that didn’t stop me eating it all, every drop of it! I still gave it a 7/10 for flavour!

I was fighting to stay awake now. Got the pots washed, and got down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, not-working, uncomfortable, cringingly-beige-coloured, rickety recliner. With a confident, positive expectation of being in the land of Nod within minutes! 

But, Oh, no! Colin Cramps set in, and he stayed for hours! Moving twixt the feet and toes, and the left hand regularly, but for some unknown reason, never the two together at the same time. (I’m not complaining at all, mind, both would have been hardly bearable)

Colin Cramp’s attentions went on for at least a couple of hours, and I started to get irritated and annoyed with them. I’m sure I nearly nodded off a few times during the odd break from pain, but every time he would be back within a minute or so, enjoying himself at my expense. Grindingagonydamit!  

But Colin Cramps was not finished with me yet. I woke up in pain so many times, I can’t recall how often.

I suppose it’s being such a jolly, preternaturally lucky a person like wot I am, is wot keeps me going. Hahaha!

Here’s where Inchy saw the face in the smoke.

Hello, I can’t see it myself now! Clapperchopboggins!


Inchcockski – Monday 13th July 2020: Nurse to give me a bit of fuss and attention today! Hurrah!

TFZer Model of the Day

Monday 13th July 2020

Afrikaans: Maandag 13 Julie 2020

05:10hrs: I came back to semi-life, and as is usual lately, needed a wee-wee within minutes. But overnight, there had been no call to the Throne or bucket. In fact, I’d forgot to bring the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket) to the room at all. I was so tired last night, after being up for over fifteen hours, this being the reason for my latest hour of waking for many a month!

I still felt a little drained mentally. With a degree of alacritousness, I got my wobbly over-sized stomach, and skinny limbs free of the recliner got the stick, and made my way to the wet room, without any injury, or nervous-making incidents! Slight-Smug-Mode-Enjoyed!

The evacuation was another RSP (Reluctant-Sprinkly-Painful) wee-wee, with the Post Micturition after-dribble taking longer to wait for it to finish, than the wee-weeing itself. As they told me when I was diagnosed as Diabetic, this is called Diabetes insipidus, if I remember correctly.

I washed and made my way to the kitchenette. I remembered that a nurse will be coming today to take a blood sample for the Anti-Coagulation & Deep Vein Thrombosis Hospital Clinic (I love that title!) What time and which of the Vampire Angels it will be,  is anyone’s guess.

I almost made a faux pas and injected an Enoxaparin hypo into my stomach. Not on the list for today, until after the blood is taken, got back to the hospital, tested, and then I’ll be informed of the results (hopefully) by phone later on. I took a shot with the Canon camera, of the current selection of needle-work art in my elephantine belly. The last one, the biggest, has kept its colour well as it fades slowly.

I got the kettle on and did the Health Checks. Well, well, well, the SYS has tumbled down at last. A sign that perhaps the injections will not be needed after today’s blood-test results. I sense that the INR will be about 2.9 this time. I’ve no idea why; it’s just a feeling I’ve got. Be interesting to see how far I’ll be out? The temperature showed up as just ‘Low’.

The view outside was a little bright, I thought. Then recalled how late it is in the day. I hoped that this Monday would be a lot easier on me, luck-wise.

I got the computer on, and fancy that, what a surprise, the Liberty-Global Virgin Media internet was down!

I decided that I’d get the ablutions done, so I can be all clean and sparkling for the nurse when she arrives (Hahaha!), and the internet might be back on afterwards as well.


  • Just as for the last four days or so now, as I got into the wet room and was stripping off, the need for a Porcelain Throne session developed. A marathon again, rock-solid, painful, and of a ginormous size.
  • I spent a while on the crosswording, while the stop-start progress caused me even more agony than yesterday’s did! Bloodletting-silent-howls! Not messy, though, and less bleeding.
  • It didn’t matter how careful and gentle I was, the first contact of the toothbrush with the molars, made me cringe with pain. Still, at least it took my mind off of the rear-quarters pain. Hehe!
  • I didn’t drop either the brush or toothpaste today!
  • The shaving started, and I soon had three cuts, several razor dropsies, and when I let the shaving-foam can drop, the blooming thing hit the seat raise and bounced back, landing right on my poor little toe!
  • The flannel, soap (3), and the aftershave bottle were dropped. No damage caused, though!

Flipping heck, the legs looked really pale and anaemic!

The ankle ulcer had died down nicely, mind you. I noticed some scratch marks on the right leg, and it was far thinner than the left one was?

It looked like the hairs were having another try at growing again? They’ll all be gone in a day or two. It’s been like this since the heart op. Still, it makes for a bit of interest.

The scars seem to be getting a little more prominent? Or perhaps with the skin being so ghostly white, the show up more?

I wouldn’t be overly surprised if, when I eventually get released from the isolationing, someone tells me I’m dead. Hahaha!

At last, I got back to the computer, and the internet was working again. Phew!

I got the Sunday blog finished. But it was hard work. Posted it off, I answered some lovely comments. Then I went on Facebooking for a while.

I found out that Sandie, the lovely lady who started the TFZ Troll Free Zone site, had passed away. We all knew she had been diagnosed with cancer. Sandra was coping well with her problems and had recently bought a new car, that she was over-the-moon with. I could not stay on the site, I was heartbroken. Even writing this blog is challenging. But, I know life must go on. Bless Sandies Memory! ♥

Some tap-tapping, knock-knocking and drill-drilling noises started. So the contractors must be getting close to doing out flats.

The door chimes rang out there ♫ I only want to be with you! ♫, tune. I hoped it would be a nurse! Hahaha! It was Josie returning the tray, plate and cutlery from her meal yesterday. She said it was nice.

I started doing some graphics on CorelDraw.

The intercom sounded and lit up – this time it was the nurse, Christina! She said she was in a hurry. But chatted while she took my blood. I showed her the state of my toenails and feet, and she rang the clinic for me to find out if I could get an appointment yet. They put her on hold, and Christina got a call on her phone.

She was needed elsewhere urgently. So she had to ring off of the phone and rush off. Life can be a swine at times!

The tap-tapping, knock-knocking, and drill-drilling noises continue, on and off, from somewhere above, and close. Can’t be helped, though!

A phone call from Jenny. She’ll ring me back. I couldn’t find any emails from the gal? She kindly ordered me some lemon bleach and lemon mousse, bless her.

I put in an order with Iceland. A few things were shown as unavailable on the web site. The most important being the lemon bleach.

They only had Domestos available. And that I consider over-priced, and rated. The Surami sticks are still not obtainable, but they had some on Shrimp flavour, which is not as good, and dearer than the fish ones. Shame!

Getting tired again now. (Poor old sausage!) I Got the potato slices in the oven cooking. Nervous, that I didn’t get delayed on my little journey, and forget about the oven being left on!

Then took down the sorted rubbish backs to the rubbish bin, and waste chute. I rather overloaded the three-wheeler guide trolley with the bags. Just as well that I forgot to take the recycling glass jars as well. I espied the new colour for the walls that the contractors are in the middle of doing. Turquoise, I think?

The lift took a while to come. Only to be expected with only one available for tenants during the day.

I got it eventually, and out into the lift lobby. Then around to the right through the caretakers’ passage and out to the bins. A caretaker kindly took the big recycling bags from me. He told me the glass recycling bin was full of alcohol empties. (Hahaha! I wasn’t surprised!) So it didn’t matter that I’d forgotten the glass jars. No point in me leaving them on the floor, cause the prowling neighbourhood yobbo-kids would only smash them. I’ll try again later in the week.

The caretaker bloke and I had a mini-natter.

He suggested they swap the industrial-sized bin, to use for the glass empties and the small one for the recycling. (Which made me larf out loud!) Haha!

As I limped back inside the flats lobby doors, I took a few photographicalisation, so we can remember what mayhem we have been put through for the last… how long is it now? Must be near three-years or more. The dang Coronavirus has played havoc. With the time-table and plans of getting the job finished.

But they are back at it again, bless ’em! It’s comforting to hear their noises, and back on the job.

Through to the lift lobby and waited patiently for the lift.

During which the one (Contractors only during the day), we are not to use, kept arriving. And some folks came in straight into the cage, without a care in the world, even gave me a funny look as I stuck to the rules and awaited the tenant’s elevator to arrive.

Then another tenant did the same thing! I even got a sneer from him! Huh! Still, it’s not for me to complain! They may have been visitors. Can’t say I’ve seen any of them before.

I got back up to the apartment and placed the trolley in the corner, with a little difficulty. And checked on the cooking in the oven, all was fine! Phew!

I got the nosh served up. The sausages (canned) had been left in the saucepan in water from the can, with added Hickory liquid smoke to season them a bit for hours. Very flavoursome, too! Beetroot, potato salad, and sliced potatoes cooked in the oven. Some red and green seedless grapes were sorted from those that had gone wrinkly and crinkled. Some fresh ones being delivered on Wednesday, I hope.

Got the washing up done, and down in the recliner, Where I had a few thoughts, about my Xyrophobia suffering, over amour-propred, Brother-in-law Pete. He goes into hospital tomorrow for his PET scan. I hope all goes well, I’ll be looking at the City Hospital Tuesday, at the time he’s due to go in, and send the lad some “Healing and hopeful thoughts through the ether!” All the very best, Pete, mate!

A late burst of sunshine came through the balcony windows. That’s the new one with the doors that do not close or lock. The feet were up on the swivel chair resting, and I took a snap of the uncut toes. But they did look in better shape than of late. I wondered why?

I remembered I’d forgot, a touch of anamesia there, to ask anyone for help from the many photographers out there, who might know. Earlier, it might even have been yesterday, I wanted to try and do one the wider photographs where you press and move the camera then press again to stop it. I used to use this before the stroke, but cannot for the life of me, remember which icon to set for it. Shaking Shaun, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley and Nicododemus’s neurotransmitters were collectively behaving well at the time, and I’d hoped to get a shot of the skyline. Not a lot of hope of holding the camera steady enough, mind. I started using each selection around the dial, but by then, the twitching and shaking had returned. Oy-oy-oy! I thought I’d ask, so I will know which one to use quickly if ever the shaker-ailments should all become calm at the same time again when the camera is handy in the kitchen. I waffled on there a bit, didn’t I, sorry. 

I got the TV on and played a Boon DVD. I was amazed that I stayed awake for the first two parts, (Mind you, it was one the better episodes, and I’d not viewed it for years) and took this photo from the chair, in celebration. Hahaha!

Next thing I remember, is waking up around four in the morning, with the remote control still on my chest, and in need of the Porcelain Throne. No waking for wee-wees then! At long last, Sweet Morpheous!

Inchcockum: Sun 12 July 20: Today was frustratingly full of frequent farcicalities

Two TFZer Gals, in the woods – Hahaha! ♥

Sunday 12th July 2020

Croatian: Subota, 11 Srpnja 2020. Godine

03:30hrs: The nowadays standard waking up wanting a wee-wee, started the day off. Haha!

I bravely hauled my Herculean, muscular, young, fit  Adonis-like body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, decrepit, out of action, beige-coloured, rickety recliner, without a twinge from any of the ailments, and singing aloud, ♫ “If I ruled the World” ♫!

Oh, alright then. I fumbled and bumbled my way to the edge of the recliner, leant forward to grab the four-pronged walking stick, missed it and overbalanced. I fell to my Arthur Itis-ridden knees on the floor, agitating the already inflamed rear-end furuncles and piles!   Groggleknockers!

Because of the urgency of the needs of the bladder, I crawled to the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket) to make sure I got there in time.   However, I did manage to arrive in time, and then spent ages waiting for the WSSUL (Weak-Squirty-Spraying-Unremittingly-Long) post-micturition after-dribbling to finish! Crikeyumecky! Brogglesknockersworth!

Getting back up on my feet, really ought to have been filmed for posterity. That, or to be used in educating the young on what to expect when they get old and infirm! Hahaha!

I foolishly tried the computer chair to ease myself up from the floor. Of course, it ran away and knocked the tray off of the Ottoman when they collided! I stayed down on my knees, well, it seemed a sensible idea at the time. And picked I up the bottles, pill box’s, wristwatch and mobile phone that had tumbled from the Ottoman, and put them on the recliner. Then, I used the recliner to attempt to raise my overly-adequately-stomached body from the floor.

It took a fair bit out of me, but perseverance and determination got me up on my feet, just in time for Shoulder-Shuddering Shirley to kick off big time. I imagine it must have looked like some poor devil with St Vitus’s dance (Sydenham’s chorea). I thought it wisest if I sat down again, sharpishly until the shaking had stopped. If Peripheral Pete kicks-off with one of his involuntary Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances, I’ll be going over for sure.

Grobbledangknangles! I sat on the mobile phone, and the rear-end boils and Harold’s Haemorrhoids both let me know of their disapproval! How I wished I could have restarted the day!

After a few minutes, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley had calmed down, and I took the EOGPB with me for cleaning and sanitising to the wet room. I also went through a few moments of surprise, fear and sheer agony; yes, I had to treat the Harolds Haemorrhoids and furuncles at the same time. However, it all went well.

If one drop of Harolds Haemorrhoidal ointment should touch one of my furuncles or boils or visa-versa, I will know about it. I did this last month, and still remember the discomfort, I even cringe when I think about it!

I came out from the wet room half an hour later, feeling rather self-satisfied at how well I thought I’d handled the mornings’ creamings,  so’s to speak! I felt a Smug-Mode coming on.

It’s often a mistake, losing concentration like that, I hit the edge of the door with the right arm and shoulder. Saccades-Sandra was the cause this time, my vision blurring making distance awareness weak.  Blockstooum! Oy Gevalt!

Now I was instantly in a pickle! Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Saccades-Sandra, and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters were failing, Dizzy Dennis was present and ready for action, and Anne Gyna joined in giving me grief.

All I could do was limp to the recliner and sit down in hopes of some sort of recovery. I had a swig of the spring water, closed my eyes and felt so sorry for myself, it sickened even me! Tsk!

Yet, I soon felt much improved in myself. Farrah’s Furuncles and Harold’s Haemorrhoids had both responded to their medications and had eased off tremendously well, within about five minutes. Only Anne Gyna and Nicodemus were persisting. I have to admit, getting back up on my painful uncut-toenailed feet again, I was a little nervous, but things were not as bad I thought they might be. With this morning’s record of calamities, I resisted going into Smug-Mode!

Cautiously off to the kitchenette, and took the morning medications. Late of course, with all the altercationalisationings, suffered.

Worra start to the day, Grumph!

 Then I got the Enoxaparin injection sorted out, no problems and for once, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters behaved themselves while I performed the medicating.

Then I did the Health Checks, starting with the sphygmomanometer. Oh dearie me, the BP Sys was still a bit high at 172. Mmm!

Next, I did the ear-hole body temperature, and the thermometer told me it was 82.2°. Sounded alright to me?

I got the needle in the Sharps box, I jiggled those inside around a bit, and now there is room for a few more. Cunning eh? Then filled-in the record log in the folder.

I made a brew and took it with me to the computer, and consulted the notepad, cause I was all confused about what had gone on last night and this morning. I set about updating the Saturday blog.

Sadly, as Saccades eased off a little, Nicodemus and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley both became so naughty and persistent, I knew things were not going to go well with the blogging. So many ailment induced mistakes, and I was ever correcting, and often getting that wrong too! Also, the Microsoft Photo gadget was often not recognising the SD and or drive, things were getting to me now.

Then I needed to go for a Porcelain Throne visit, so I decided to get the ablutions done at the same time. (I think I was hoping that the Microsoft Photo thingy would start working of its own accord while I way away?) It didn’t, of course. Cracklepackers!

They didn’t work out as planned either! As if I wasn’t over two hours behind schedule by now anyway, I found myself sat on the throne, I’m not joking, for over an hour! I sang songs, whistled, planned the end of the world and bringing back hanging, just like yesterdays visit!

Only the product was more substantial and stubborn. When things did start moving, I had to apply as much pressure as I could bear pain-wise to force things along! I even took a photo of the poorly toes and feet while awaiting some action. On the bright side, I don’t know-how, with all the agony I was in, but I finished a crossword! Well, I nearly finished it, I had to look up one clue, but that’s the nearest I’ve been to finishing one since the stroke.

Some slightly streaky blood had flowed, but not much, so I assume this was from Harold’s Haemorrhoids. They had taken a battering this morning. Tsk!

I was drained by the time I finished and sorted everything out. And shortly, it would be time to start prepping Josie’s meal.

So I got on with the ablutioning. A record number of dropsies today. You name it, and it was probably dropped! Although not the showerhead, thankfully.

Two cuts shaving, cleaning the teeth started Toothache Thomas off.

I had a toe-stubbing against the shower chair when I moved it. The showering went okay, bearing in mind I had a few dizzies in there, but I know where the grab rails are now, I’ve grabbed them often enough. Hehe!

I got dressed and very carefully, hobbled to the kitchen. I was determined not to walk into the door again! And I didn’t!

The views from the new, anti-photographer, thick-framed, impossible to get to for cleaning windows, were to me, incredible! It looks like it’s going to stay with us this good weather. I took these three shots, left, ahead and to the right. I used the Canon today, the Nikon is on charging.

The landline flashed. It was Brother-in-Law Pete. We had an excellent nattering session. The lads going into the City Hospital again on Tuesday, for a pet scan. (Well I hope they don’t find any cats in there! Hahaha!) 12:30hrs, He’s due. I told him to take his camera so he could photo the flats. Wished him all the best. I hope that Jane’s coping with it all.

I concentrated on Josie’s nosh then. Buttered kippers, smoked haddock, giant butter beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, and it turned out, one of my best ever tasting cheesy mashed potatoes! A can of G&T and a little lemon cake.

I delivered to her flat door on time, I’m good like that, you know, trying to be punctual! Smug-Mode-Engaged!

Back to the flat, and decided to do the second injection early, so I could concentrate on the blogs. Well, when I dropped the trousers and PPs, just look at what I saw! Blimus!

Now, surely the Tate Gallery must be interested in these? If they can pay a do-do who made a pile of bricks a fortune, what should these fetch? No, you’re right!

Many more hours were lost, thanks to the ailments making typing and concentration so tricky today.

When I went to have a look at what I might have with the leftovers from Josie’s meal, what a shock! It was now past 19:00hrs!

No wonder I was feeling so knackered and had a humdinger of a headache! I got the evening medications imbibed straight away. Better late than never! I had another sachet of Macrogol as well.

I answered some comments on WordPress, but I’m not sure who and what I put for certain. I’m so shattered. Been up for

Got the meal made ASAP. I was so tired and did not make any effort to beautify the feed, just dolloped it in the bowl. But, by-Jimminee, I enjoyed it! A flavour rating of 7.8/10 was granted.

After washing the pots, I somehow found the energy to do a Morrison order. Due on Monday 20th July. I’ll have to manage without the favourites for a while until then. Gives me a chance to get some of the other stuff eaten. It’s just that I do love the lemon mousses so. They had no lemon bleach available – Humph!

I got a bottle of spring water, and orange cordial made up.

I filled in the City Care record log, better late than never, and took the evening medications.

The pots were out of sync. I think with being so confused and tired, I may have taken them twice? Schlepper!

I got down in the recliner, but amazingly was finding it hard to get to sleep! Watched some TV, they brought on a few short minutes-long nod-offs. So that helped a bit.

It was just gone midnight, and I remembered I’d not taken the polyethylene-glycol Macrogol. I got up, went to the kitchen, made the drink and imbibed it.

On the way back to the chair, I somehow got my right leg entangled with the four-pronged walking stick!  How I kept my balance (but it was a good thing I was not carrying anything at the time), I don’t know. A sneaking Semi-Smug-Mode was adopted all the same!

Days like this, I can do without!