INCHIE TODAY: Monday 30th January 2023

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Another horrendous day...
CATHETER-WISE

06:20hrs: Woke and removed the Catheter Night Pouch.
And well-bloodied it was. Tummy ache.

Amazed at how many times the photos of the Catheter Bags seemed to have faces, figures of animals, and other objects on them.
Can you see the mousse in this one?
I’m worried about the pains still coming from the guts and Little Inchie. And, of course, the thick blood in the urine.

Emptied the Night Catheter bag in the WC.

Took this photo when making a mug of tea.

Carer Richard arrived, and he got the medications given to me. Told him about the blood in the urines again and how it was even redder than yesterday… or less brown, mayhap.

The blood coming into the Day bag seemed thicker than ever?

Back to the Wet Room to use the Porcelain Throne.
Found that the bleeding from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion was worse than ever before. The tube was tugging at it. I imagine.

The Co-op delivery arrived.
Not a lot this time.

Yee Gods!
The Day Pouch had filled up already, and I’d not been drinking the water, cause I was sorting the food out? Better get it empties…

The overloaded pouch only let me release a tiny drop of blood & urine.
Then the release valve seemed to stop working!
I could be in trouble here cause the bag is so full will only block the bladder with the stake blood in it. No wonder I had a tummy ache! I tried to ring the Meridian Office, but no answers to the three calls I made.
So, I called the District Nurse’s number. As I was explaining my problem…
The bloody valve in the catheter opened itself…
Blood and urine-soaked slippers, socks, and feet, as well as over the carpet. What a state I got into cleaning it up… well, trying to!
You can see the blood clot in the above picture that shot out first.
followed by a torrent of urine & blood. Argh!

The lady at the District Nurses HQ said she was sending someone around to take a look at things for me and rang off.

I continued to try and get myself, and the place cleaned up. But the stretching and bending, even though I was using kitchen towels wrapped around the picker-upperer, started Back-Pain-Brenda, Anne Gyna, the Mystery Rib Pains, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley and a lengthy Dizzy Dennis attack off. I was not in a good state at that moment.
 Half an hour later, I was washing the wee-wee bucket. and a nurse arrived, a pretty nurse, too. I was in a bit of a state panic-wise, so didn’t get her name… or maybe I did but forgot it. Yes, that sounds likely to me!

The nurse listened while I told her the sequence of events. Took a photo of the blood clot and date on the guilty pouch. Most annoyed at the Catheter Pouch being changed, asked me if they knew (Carers, I imagine) that the bag must be changed every seven days. That’s what it is designed for, no longer; seven days is the limit permitted. Doreen Dementia intervened, and I could not answer her. The pains were not helping me to concentrate. She told me to ring if had any other problems.

An interesting photo here. No idea what it’s of. Hehe!

Gotten Himmel! The new bag filled up quickly again.

Emptied the pouch.

Took a snap of the much-missed-visiting tree copse.

I see an image in this picture of the day bag. Can you?

This one reminded me of Telstar.

The new shape of the pouches was noted.
No faces or images were seen.

Back to the Porcelain Throne.
Wearing the just emptied day bag.
The blood flowing in looked like veins. Haha!

The bag keeps filling up so quickly?

An hour after emptying it.

Carer Sam arrived on a safety visit. Later, Carer Kara arrived for the late medicationalisationings. We had a quick natter, she was very busy.

Carer Richard came for the late check. He got the night bag fitted.

I pressed on with this blog until around 02:00hrs.
Then got my head down.

Back in the morning – Hopefully.

Carer RichardArrived and to the day one.
Checked the taps and stove, then took the waste bags for me.

I’m Shattered!

Inchcock: Sunday 13th November 2022

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07:00hrs: A second decent night’s kip for the old man, then. (It’s not often I can say that!)
I thought it wise to wait for a little before getting excited; I’d not done the checks yet, and I didn’t want to bring it back to reality just yet for a while.

I went into the kitchenette, mainly to check on the taps, stove, fridge etc. to make sure I’d not left anything on that shouldn’t be. All Clear!
So, a was duly adopted!

It was a foggy morning, not unlike those we used to get every November so many years ago. The memories flowed for a while. as I took these photographs!
Not necessarily good recollections. But a few did sneak in.
Got the Health checks done.

Pulse decent at 33.1°1f.

Sorry to say that the flipping Blood Pressure came out up in the Top Red area, Hypertension Three!
But only just. Hehe!

The SYS was really high this time at Red-Risk 162.

The Dia was fine in the Amber zone.

The Pulse was creeping back up again at 78.

I just can’t understand why they have classed in the red-three zone.
When three of the four are in the Amber zone?
I expected to be well lower down on the scale. Mind you, the SYS was high.
Came in. Got the medications sorted, and the lad was in a rush; I could sense it… his being so late told me that as well. He wanted his bed, and who could blame him. Talked him into trying a cold Starbuck Coffee for his thank-you treat. Be interesting to see what he say’s about it later next week. I bet Richard won’t take a coffee with Rum & Coke and his favourite, Pink Gin and lemon, being on offer. Hehe! He can have a coffee as well.
I got the mince in the pan with the beans and added some flavourings.

I’m well known as a flavourings-adder, you know. Hehehe!

Then I got two large potatoes in the big saucepan on the boil, and I nipped back to the computer to get her started and begin updating the Saturday blog. I had to avoid getting distracted with blogging for fear of forgetting about Josie’s meal cooking.

Went back to check, and the potatoes were already done? It only seemed like ten minutes. But, of course, it was longer.
As you can see in the photo here when it came to dicing the spuds ready to go in the oven to bake them crispy… This is how one potato turned out – Bad!
So, not so many spuds in Josie’s meal today.
Got the diced and olive-oil-sprayed spuds in the heated oven.
Had a clean-up. And back to the computer.
That is not blood on the paper towel. Oh, no! It’s probably jam or ketchup, something like that. As if a man of my calibre would cut his right index finger while slicing the spud, laughable.
Did some work on the blog, mostly correcting errors made. Tsk! Bet I still missed no end of them!

Added spuds to the saucepan of chilli-stew, or whatever you want to call it. But after taking out approximately half of the stew and placing it into a separate lidded-tub
This is Josie’s 2nd meal for Monday. She heats it up in her microwave. I try to make the two meals different for her. After taking out the Monday portion, I added some basil and BBQ to the first lot and stirred it up, warming it gently. No potatoes in the Monday one, either.
I had 20-minutes or so on the blog and made up Josie’s tray.

I’d got carried away today… Just look at that pile of stew in the bowl for her. It might get her eating better, but it is bound to get me accused of trying to make her look like Betty Bunter.
Now, for the less mature whippersnappers, these names will mean nothing. But to us kings growing up[ in the ’50s, they were previously revered. For they were in comics that we read.
Possibly. In this photo, Betty’s name is Bessie Bunter, but later she became Betty; I don’t know why. It’s me mishearing what Josie was saying… I’ll have to check that later with her.

But she was for the girls, and for us lads, we had Billy Bunter.
Two overweight kids that always seemed to get the better of their parents in the story we read. Hehehe!
I think that Sister Jane was a fan of that comic. There was the Topper, Beezer, Beano, Dandy, Eagle & others. Not bad for a bloke who read his instructions from the nut-house hospital last night and can’t remember anything he read?

Note the changing times in the covers here? In those days, the girls were trained as domestics, not future wives. So, Billy gets excitement out in the woods with criminals, and Betty-Bessie battles the fight to get food in the house. Not a single person back then mentioned them being unhealthily overweight. Hahaha! I wondered off subject again there, didn’t I?

Back to the diary: I delivered the meals to Josie.
I remembered taking the Lumix camera with me in my pocket, and I’d also got it in my bag! Every little victory, you know!

Josie was looking better today; bless her cotton socks. I’m not sure who is the more forgetful between us… but my guess would be it being even-stevens! Hehehe! The deafness we also share is just the same. She didn’t notice the over twice the usual amount of chillie-stew and the larger bowl I had to use to get it all in.
About Gawd knows when… I got the Saturday blog posted off.
Carer Carolynne arrived. We got the medications sorted and had a natter. (Well, I did!) Hehe! Forced treats in thanks on her. She took the waste bags with her as she left; with a smile.

Not in the flat, though. There was a fire in Basford or Sherwood area. I took these pictures of it. Much smoke varying from white to black and a few bursts of flames.
Annoyingly, I could find nothing on the news or the internet about it.

These chronologically go from left to right as you go down.

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Shame I couldn’t find them for a newspaper to use.

It’s 20:00hrs already! I’ll get something to eat, then my head down, I think.
♫ Food, Glorious Food ♫ Flavour-Rating 7.2/10. And I was surprised at how tasty the Adkins cobs were.
The Asda Soya lemon yoghourt was its usual tasty treat.

I got ensconced in the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner.

Sleep came quickly tonight!
But could I stay asleep? No! I woke up jouncingly, joltingly, or jarringly so often; it almost tired me out! Fair enough, I got back to sleep quickly enough, but minutes later (it seemed), I was once again twitchingly woken up!

Sweet Morpheus was playing with me once more…

Or, mayhap it was , continuing on her mission along with the other mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?

Inchcock: Tuesday 8th November 2022

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Somewhere around 05:00hrs. The last few memories of a dream I’d been having faded from my memory. Completely gone in seconds! Claimed by the ether. The only remaining detail was that I was enjoying it. Tsk! I almost nodded off again, but more escapages of inf from the rear end started, interposed occasionally by a few belches.
Then the part taste of last night’s vegetable chillie came up into my mouth. It was not unpleasant. I questioned my eating chilli-con-carne in any form – I love the taste of it, but the innards always play up like this afterwards… I’ve knave to consider stopping eating them. Honestly, the farting and belching continued for hours.

Fantastic results again! Three out of the last four days, I’ve been in the Amber Zone. (High-Normal) Grrreat!

I was so pleased with these results, I got the graphics to use done on CorelDraw.

Getting the photo’s in, I came across a rather silly I’d made. I’d failed to put these two evening views from the kitchenette sink into Monday’s blog.

Graphics posted, I went to get the kettle on for a brew of tea. But got sidetracked by the getting-urgent need for the .
Not that he needed it, after yesterday’s messy session, but had the backing of the after-effects of the vegetable chilli-con-carne to ensure one of the pongiest, messiest evacuations, ever!
The instant the flow began, I felt a little giddy. The aroma, I imagine, was the cause of this.
It was all over in seconds… but the mess it left on my rear and in the bowl, took ages to clean up. I started a new toilet roll, and there were precious few left on the inner core by the time I’d cleared things so I could wash my bottie!
Thank heavens I had enough Germoloid ointment to use; it took an awful lot to ease the stinging of the poor .

Got the nappies on…; I mean Protection Pants.
Put the eye drops in, although not a lot got into the eyes as usual. More ended up in my mouth and moustache than the eyes. Olive-Oiled the ear holes. All this time, I kept flushing the WC and repeatedly waited for the tank to refill to try and clear ‘things’ again!
I took a Galpharm capsule, hoping it may calm things down in the Dirrahorea department.

I washed up, checked things in the wet room, and went off to make a brew of tea again. The tea had to wait again…

For the moon was out and high late, and with the cloudy conditions out there in the dark, I just had to try and get some decent photographs of the planet. So, I fetched the Lumix to give it a go.

I was not pleased with the resulting photographs.
But I kept on taking them, hoping I could get just one decent, detailed picture, a good shot… Huh!.

But it was not meant to be.
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To my disappointment, I forgot I’d made the mug of tea, and I left it to get cold on the side of the stove and went back to the computerisationing.

Started updating the Monday blog.

Chimed out as I got up, thinking I had not unlocked the door yet, and chuntering to myself.
Came into the room. How can I not remember if I’d unlocked the door or not? Silly Question!
Richard made an alarm battery alert check with the NCH (Nottingham City Homes) control.
Got the medications sorted out. And he’d used an End run to get around things and arranged for the Carer this evening to pack the morning medications in a pot, so I could take them in the morning before the trip out to the hospital. When I suggested this, at first, we thought the powers that be would not allow us to do this; in case I get up thinking of sorting the many things needed to take with me to the hospital and forget to take the tablets – I still might.  
Richard wrote a note on the whiteboard that the evening carer might spot, and now it’s up to me to remember to remind her. (Fingers crossed, but I reckon I will!)
Rich moved the spectacles distance, reading, and sunglasses, that I had to take with me nearer to the list of instructions and medication listings he’d sorted out for me. A grand lad! We had a laugh over my passing wind and belching all the time he was here. Hehehe!
Om leaving, he said he wouldn’t see me until next Monday and wished me well with the Cataracts – if they do them, that is. Bless him! Gave him some treats in thanks, wished him well, and he took the waste bags on his way out.

I got back to blogging. But it was as if a different person was doing it. Back to the mistake-making, Blanks, and the concentration had collapsed again. Very frustrating. I pressed on and got the Monday blog posted to WordPress. Then decided to stop on this blog. I was almost going backwards, getting nowhere.
I ditched and washed the cold mug of brew, and I made the much-awaited fresh drink of tea.

The Asda delivery arrived, and this driver actually put the breakable and damageable goods in different boxes for me.

Thank you, mate!

The feast of food was put away after posing for some photographic recordings. Hehehe!

I’m hoping the treats products have a good life on them. But could not see the dates on so many of them. In fact, some don’t seem tp have any on them at all.

But that’s likely because of my ailments , , and .

I’d got a lot in, so as to avoid struggling in the event that the hospital does do the Cataract tomorrow. But it remains a mystery as to why I’ve been called in, and Deana called the QMC to ask if it is for the operation, and they were as puzzled with the wording n the appointment sheet as we were!

The imitation pork looked more like pot than pork does. If it’s anything like as good as the mock sausages, they should be good.

I got them in the oven after sorting the other things out.

The meal went down a treat! Yellow & red tomatoes, soya & herb pork, fries and some bread thins. Followed with a pot of lemon soya yoghourt… my new favourite dessert from Asda. My Flavour Rating for this one is 8/10.

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Carer Shannon woke me up. We had a decent nattering session after she’d done the medicating. Shannon made up a pot of morning medications and left it on the things on the Carers table for me to take with me to the hospital, so I should see it and take them. Selected a nibble and drinkie in thanks. Took the waste bag with her on her way out. I locked the door.

As I got back into the hallway, the evening sky caught my attention.

I took these three shots, two of the sky and scene and one of the bottom cars parked on Chestnut Walk.

I resettled in the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, itch-producing, none-working recliner.

Then the started. I was concerned about the mystery trip to the hospital in the morning.
Of course, all the other worries and concerns kept nipping in between this concern, and the brain could not cope with trying to make decisions about what needed doing and when.
I think I formulated this plan eventually. “Go to sleep now – get up and finish this blog ASAP. Get all the needed things together, then get the ablutions done, get dressed, and sit with the crossword book (If I can see enough to read the clues) if I can see and read the clues. Wait there for the arrival of the NHS lift that Deana arranged for me. They should be coming according to the message, twixt 0700 and 0900hrs. Then, trying to ignore Mind-Storming, tried to get to sleep.

No chance… I then thought, would it be better for me to get down in the lobby for 07:00hrs and wait there?

Oh, dearie me, Confusion Konrad was having his way.

Woke and got up at 00:30hrs…

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 21st September 2022

WEDNESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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03:40hrs: Another shooting awake, the arms jounced, and slowly the brain woke up as well. The only thing it was interested in was my hastening to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did!
No injuries or Accifauxpas en route; I got settled in the regulation position, and the evacuation began. I should think it was 80% putrid air and 20% of watery kaki-coloured liquid, with a few bloblets of the expected stuff mixed in.
Not too messy it didn’t spurt out. No bleeding.
Again, I thought, well, I’m in here now; I’ll get the ablutions tended to. most another bit of the left back double molar again… I don’t know how it hasn’t all gone by now; the number of times I lose a chunk of it?
I took extra care with the shaving this time. A couple of tin nicks, no bother.
Ah, there were some difficulties here. The Germoloiding of Harrolds Haemorrhoids went perfectly smoothly, with minimum pain of any sort. Then, the Phorpain gelling was more or less in the same style. Then, for some reason, the applicationing of the
Daktacort can only be described as horrendously painful. I stopped as soon as I felt that much pain in such a delicate area. And went to fetch the magnifying glass to see if I could find a use-by date in the tube or box. Nope, couldn’t see one anyway. I went to the medical drawer in the kitchenette and ferreted about for another tube. None left! I must ask Richard or Deana to order some for me.
A smothering of Germolene in place was tried. Totally-ineffective. I dare not use what bit of Daktacort that was left in the tube, so threw it away.
Then, the Danger of the Day, so far, had to be faced. 

Of course, I wasn’t worried at all; a heroic man with so many ailments is not going to let a plastic-coated finger-crunching, blood-letting thing like metal Sock Glide intimidate me. Well, more than suspected!
I got through it and got the socks on. A plaster on the trapped bleeding finger was all I needed this time. Freshened up my wobbly short-overweight body with antiperspirant spray and aftershave. Got dressed and tackled the next job, the .
Back down again! SYS 137. DIA 72, Pulse 78 bpm, and body temperature a good return at 34.3°f.
Back in the High-Norm amber area. I suppose a being shown is okay?
The second lowest rating I’ve ever recorded! Now I shall be looking to get in the green soon… Hehehe!

Was banging about above early again, around 06:00hrs. He must be making things for Christmas pressies early, mayhaps? Come think of it, I reckon he was noisy late at night and early mornings this time last year? I may be wrong, of course. ♫ It’s not unusual for Inchcock to be wrong… ♫

I got the computer on, and many comments on my blogs were received. It was from Bill, so I answered him. Off to make a mug of Thompson’s Punjana, and I took this morning shot of the view from the kitchen window. Not exactly awe-inspiring, is it?

I went back to the computer and checked the Emails.

Morrison and J Sainsbury’s had set a list of their substitutions and not available goods in today’s orders to be delivered.
Not good, is it? Still, I can give away the Tikka substitute; Deana might like them. The tomatoes should be okay. It’s funny how they always send dearer than the original substitutions.
JS had done even worse than Morrisons; that takes some doing. Same thing, dearer substitutes.
But they failed to tell me that the cheaper chilli cans I’d ordered were going to be substituted with a lot dearer ones! Humph! Anyway, I started to get things stored away. The Imperfect Tasty Strawberries were one for Deana and one for Francis, who I hope she’s back from the hospital by now and feeling better. I’ll ask Deana later.
Ah, my treats to myself here! Vegetarian shepherd’s pie, roast potatoes, veggie pasta, and sliced potatoes (well, it cuts back on chopped fingers!). Seasoned fresh cut chips as well… Oh, and a new one to me, Silky Butternut Squash Risotto; no idea what it will taste like, but without trying it, I’ll never know. Did you see that? Words of Wisdom… from me! Hehehe! Beefburgers and pot noodles for Carer Richard. Some individually portioned sticky rice pots and substituted No Chicken Tikka Masala with rice. I tried the one I ordered cause I knew I was okay with sweet & sour sauce. But I’ve tried Tikka before and did not like it. Are J Sainsbury staff told to select lousy substitutions on purpose? Is not sweet & Sour Chinese? And Tikka Indian?

At least they didn’t send me a pot of brown shoe polish this time. I’m not joking; I ordered potato cakes once and got a shoe polish pad!
Still, the owner has just lost a family member, the Queen. So, say no more. At least Morrison’s managed to deliver my favourite ready meal of all time. Roast Vegetable Risotto. It’s cracking tasty! I always put just a drop of BBQ sauce with it. And the packet of mushroom risotto I had yesterday, I think it was, was grand.
This is a loaf got the Wardens, cause it keeps fresher longer… someone told me.
I got some brown cobs for me from Lord Sainsbury: J Sainsbury plc is the parent company of Sainsbury’s Supermarkets Ltd, the third largest chain of supermarkets in the UK, with a 16.4% share of the market.
As of 2021, the largest overall shareholder is the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar Royal Family Investment Authority, which holds 14.99% of the company. It is listed on the London Stock Exchange and is a constituent of the FTSE 100 Index. The chain’s annual report shows that chief executive Simon Roberts picked up £2.8 million in bonuses for the year to March 5, on top of his £878,000 a year salary and other benefits. His mammoth pay deal includes a £1.7 million annual bonus and £1.1 million in long-term incentive scheme shares. Shame no one there knows the difference between a Chinese meal and an Indian one. Just thought I’d mention it! Not that I have anything against the Indians, they have my greatest respect and admiration. It’s just that their food does not sit well with me. Where was I?

Oh, yes… These were some of the giveaway items. I bought a few trays of fluffy rice. I just thought Deana might like one to try. Hope she likes Tikka.
She did call later after I’d got everything put away… Ah, something else I forgot to mention… A pack of six 1 litre Spring Water was delivered today; luckily, it was the first thing I moved into the kitchen from the blocked by food doorway. I felt the leaking water running down my leg onto the carpet; I then dropped the bottles when I got into the kitchen. What a mess I got into, and cleaning it up was no fun!
I lost the plot there… Sorry.
I put the flowers on the trolley, ready for when Deana or Julie, or both, came to see me about the lift for Friday.
Richard told me Deana would be calling today to see me. Which she did.

She told me she’s arranged for the lift on Friday to be for 10:00hrs So, hopefully, I can get to the B&M store to get some of the canned drinks that the Carers took to. I got some last week… no, a fortnight ago. But they all went first, but  I just cannot remember what they were called. When I see the cans, I’ll know, He says… Hehehe!
Onto the computer to make a start on this blog at long last.

♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ Hello, who’s that? It was Esther, after her six-week break visiting her family in South Africa for two weeks, that turned out to for four more. Can’t blame her! She’s calling tomorrow to do the laundry. She asked for a pen so she could write a note to another customer and post it through his door – I made sure I got the pen back this time! Hehe! 

I believe the sudden fatigue is coming back again now. 14:00hrs?
I’ll get a vegetable risotto in the microwave and add one bay-sized fluffy rice after three minutes, so they are ready at the same time. A drop of BBQ sauce will be added after cooking. This week I shall try harder to avoid any burnt fingers or dropped items when struggling to get the lid off of the trays.
The foods were both nearly ready. I made up a pot of Idaho instant mash with bubble & squeak, adding some extra-strong grated cheese and a quirt of my made-up to the bottle of liquid salt & distilled vinegar to the pot. Added a mini-pot of lemon mousse to the tray and got into the recliner to feast!


I had a cough and thought I saw some specs of blood in the tissue, well, the paper towel I used.
The meal was cooling as I checked the nose and mouth. Nowt to fret over, but puzzlingly all the ulcers in the gums seem to have erupted at the same time. I didn’t realise I’d got so many pustules in the gums. As for why this happened, I remain, as ever nowadays, confused.
Finally, I began the feast, ’cause that’s what it was, and even though I’ll let it cool more than I meant to, it was delicious! A Taste-Rating of 9.3/10!

I put the tray on the Carers desk next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner. And drifted of with a satisfied stomach into a wonderful – but short-lived, dream-filled sleep.
♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chimed out and brought me rudely to a state of semi-wakefulness. Blow it; I can’t remember her name now. Humph! She apologised for being late and mentioned how rushed she was. She soon got the medications sorted; and, with what seemed a reluctance, ask if there was anything else. There was, but she seemed so pressed I didn’t mention anything. A nice gal, I told her to pick a treat on her way out.
I think I was about to nod off again when I remembered I’d not locked the door. So, I locked it


Turning back from locking the door, I thought I’d have a look through the spy hole – which proved near fatal. Hehe! I twisted my back as I turned again, setting off poor and, at almost the same time, stubbed my toe on the three-wheel walker guide wheel… but I’d not finished yet. Oh, no!
Cursing my bad luck under my breath, and went into the wet room for a wee-wee and apply some Phorpain gel to Shirley. And walked into the doorframe, hit the shoulder, stopped, and automatically pee’d in my PPs, and I felt like crying. But I resisted it, after all being the heroic, stoic, brave, strong young man that I am…
At least Bladder-Belinda’s sudden leak came when I was in the wet room.
I evacuated the remaining few drops of urine from Bladder-Belinda. Stripped off and had a good clean-up. Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids,
And got the crap, not very effective  MedPhorpainPhorpain gel, rubbed into my back as best that I could get at. Surprisingly, the toe stinging started to ease off?
Got some fresh PPs on, the Depend brand that had coped admirably well with Bladder-Belinda’s earlier escaping mini-torrent. was left until last. Because the shoulder charge on the wet room doorframe had set her off shuddering away, but now she had calmed down.
It took me so long to sort things out that by the time I was leaving the wet room, the and , were of little bother now.
Of course, now I had to rely on to get me through the doorway without any . Easy-peasy! I think that when I go going into the room and the light blaring at my eyes is why there are more walk-intos than when leaving the wet room?

A momentary Sherlock Holmesian conclusion there?Haha!

I got settled into the c1968 recliner seat…
Tired out, with Thought STorms to compete,
My mood was just a tad downbeat,
Thought of the Risotto… that was a treat!
Cramps now, in the fingers, legs and feet!
I must be getting closer to the scrapheap,
Losing my battle for peace and sleep…
My life seems full of things grossièreté!
Don’t know when, but I got nodded off alreet…
Dreamt I was on holiday; it looked like Crete?
2:55hrs, I sprang wide awake. Did I oversleep?
Asleep only five minutes, I could weep!

MORNING ALL!

Canon then the Fuji Camera gave up on me! Grrr!

DISASTER!
The Canon, then the old Fuji, gave up the ghost on me! Cragknangles!
———————————–

Eventually, I got yesterday photo’s saved. Obviously, before the cameras joined forces to really piss me off!

I’ve got all uptight and am no longer which are for Thursday or Friday. Well, the first one is Thursday.

Somewhat bloated, methinks. So much so that the pressure forced the blood out when I had my first toe-stumping of the day.

Car Park from the kitchenette window.

Ah, Thursday’s nosh.

Followed by some Ice cream!

Many taken, as this morning, many of them lost into the ether!

Friday Morning, my feet are not so bad now!

Morning views

Fridays Health Checks
Up a bit?

Unsure about this one.
The Iceland delivery came, but no photos were attainable; they were not saved on the card or internal memory. Well miffed!
Spent hours trying different things in hopes of getting some, but no luck.

Carer Richard came. Asked if he could help with the Fuji. Nope!

I’ve ordered an old Lumix Camera. Should be here twixt 23rd & 25th August. It’s new, but a very old one, I’m assuming that’s why it was cheaper than the others. I’m hoping I can cope with setting it up. Also, I’ve got the hearing aids that Lisa petal donated to me so kindly. But they are naturally small, and I cannot see the words with my glass eye either. I asked Richard if he could assist. Nope! Can’t blame him; he was yawning. He’s been at work for around eleven hours. Poor lad.

Spent hours and hours trying to get the camera’s going again. Humph! Of course, they should have Christened me; no luck! Then concentrated on taring to get some more photos rescued. I found a few more, but I am unsure when I took them.

Thursday?
No idea!
Might have put this on earlier and the lower one.
And again…
Of course, I could be wrong…
The carer read the label cooking instructions and wrote them down for me.
Artwork from a dear friend in America. Patti, from when I had the heart op ♥ Bless you, Patti!

Seaweed Snacks Delivered!
Friday fridge.
Crap Health Check Photo?
Evening Carer due any time now.
Gawd, I’m tired now.
The camera’s situation is no better, but…
I had one last go at the Fuji – and the new ‘Old’ Lumix was delivered early today! I got it out of the box and tried to get it on charge. There is a plug and computer cable thingy. I got it on the plug socked post haste to charge. I could not see alight lit up on the camera.
An hour or so later, I changed the set-up, and put the USB in the card reader, still couldn’t see the light on. Did some computing and had another look at the Lumix.
Well, what a pillock! Not really; the letters were too small for me to read; I asked Malcolm if I’d got it in the right hole – I hadn’t!

Swapped the plug into the little hole, and a little red light lit! So at least I know it’s charging. For the first job, when it’s up and running, set the date & time. Then select the picture size.
Going to get summat to eat now. Carers late? Or is it me?

ODE to another Failure

Hours of finding how to change the frame size… well, trying,
My willpower and hopes were dying,
I considered wailing and crying…
I’d had enough mind-boggling…
The small buttons were beyond seeing,
Tired from the mental schemozzling,
I gave up trying, and I turned to dithering,
I’d be better off grimacing and turning!

FED-UP, AGAIN!

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th June 2022, Diary & Ode

Monday 6th June 2022

 Odes to Sanity Part 23⅛th

Being uneducated, I turned to intuitioning…
To replace my lack of logic and reasoning,
Judgements were instantaneous, with no conscious thinking!
No abductiveness, abstracting or even reasoning…
But I had a flair somehow for conceptual thinking?

I was prepared to tackle problems, if nonintimidating,
Usually, I’d end up morbidly confused and panicking,
Thought Storms, I found myself cathecting…
Often ending with my fearing and self-blaming,
Doreen Dementure started visiting; she’s beyond taming!

Finding you’ve missed or got something wrong; is excruciating!
Yet still, when I stray of a topic to start witwantoning…
Searching, no doubt, for comforting, consoling…
To find someone who can help, and be approbating…
A Doctor mayhaps, who is not so abrogating…
But I’m still here alone… and waiting!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY DIARY

Due to my working well into the morning on yesterday’s blog, I didn’t wake up until 07:15hrs. A good job; the Carer didn’t come early cause I’d left the door locked. So, although still in a haze, I had to force my way free of the £300 second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, and get a wash and shave, then dressed. I remembered to unlock the door first.

Despite my rushing, I remembered that I had the J Sainsbury order arriving twixt 8> and 9:00hrs. I didn’t get a single cut shaving and no teeth bleeding (but that was because I forgot to clean the teeth, Hahaha!) I did manage a stubbed toe and a few dropsies.

I got the blood pressures etc., done quickly as I could. Great figures returned, bearing in mind I was hastily hobbling around after getting up so late, trying to get the Health Checks done before the Carer or Delivery arrived. My body temperature was well down, surprising as I was almost sweating with all the rushing about what I was doing? Hey-Ho!

Well gone 08:00hrs and Carer Richard arrived. He was obviously not going to be able to have a chinwag and check the medications in the drawer as he usually does on a Monday because the poor lad had got three extra calls given him for this morning! I slipped him a bottle and a nibble plonk & chocolates in a bag. I make up a bottle of spring water and ass some orange cordial to it and bang it in the fridge to cool for him each day if he comes; nice chap, but under pressure this morning. He still oversaw me as I took the medications; some didn’t even do that. Wishing him good luck, he took the waste bag on his way out. Bless his cotton socks.

At last, I got the kettle on and took some photographs from the balcony.

In the first photo, RVM (Red-Van-Man) in his favourite No Parking, yellow hatched markings. Raining a fair bit!

I noticed some activity, as a silver car arrived and went to park in between the grey and blue vehicles on Chestnut Ways car park. Then backed out again and went down to the end car park (RDM’s area).

And parked opposite RVM, a lot nearer to the entrance. I spotted the deluge of muddy rainwater in the car park as it hurled down the hill in Woodthorpe Grange Park. Can’t blame them as the rain seemed to be coming heavier now.

I went to wash the tea mug as I took this shot from the kitchenette window. Cunningly knocking over the kitchen tools stand as I did so! Another mess to sort out! I think it’s the first time I’ve handled the baster and quick as I picked them up with the picker-upperer since I bought the set. Hehehe! That was donkey’s years ago.

The intercom flashed, and I admitted the J Sainsbury delivery lad. Who threw the food into the boxes, with the bunch of roses going in at the bottom of the box! (I found out later). Tsk! I rescued the flowers and put them in the trolley walker basket to keep them from harm. Can you see the expression on the orange carrier bag handles? ‘The Scream?’ Hahaha!

I got the bows and bags emptied and sorted into various places. Starting with the fridge and freezer products. I’d made a cock-up with the battered Fish & Chips; I thought I’d just ordered chips? I’d also forgotten that I’d got the vegetarian ice cream ordered from JS and have ordered more now from Iceland for tomorrow; what a plonker! Humph! Glad to see they had some more of the Squid Sauce, which is actually liquid salt made from anchovies, and most tasty too! I’ll try to eat stuff from the freezer today to make room for new ones.

I’d got two boxes of four lemon curd bakes, one for Richard. The freshly podded garden peas had gone up in price by a whopping 30%. Boo! And no country of origin on the packet! So, I do not know what to expect tastewise. The Nicaraguan ones can be bitter and unpleasant. Like the last ones bought, they should be sweeter if they are from Peru. As were the Chilean ones last week.

Another of the instant, phooey, watery evacuations. I tried to take a photo of the much improved looking ankles and plates of meat… but as you can see by the image on the right, it was not a good one. That was due to Peripheral Pete and his neurotransmitter failure, creating another intentional leg flailing dance routine. Why, you ask? I hope… I actually took several photographs, but this one was the only one worth using.
What’s more, this dance went on for a long time, which is rare and worrying. I got a bruise or two hitting the porcelain and cabinets with the leg. I’ll have an investigation later to see what shape it’s left the poor old leg is in.  I must have put them in the wrong setting. Maybe turned the selector too far of not enough?

Hehe! I got a bag on the trolley walker with the roses in, with some drinkies and phoned Deana to tell her they had arrived as treats in thanks. She said she’ll call later, but things can get hectic in a flash for the wardens, all of us old farts that need to keep an eye on.

I got the three small waste bags made up from the delivery rubbish, grabbed metal Micky and went to the door to go to the chute. Drilling noises permeated through the flat. I assumed the workmen were back doing the electrical repairs or updates in the lift lobby. So, I took the Canon camera with me. I could see the wiring hanging down from the ceiling tiles, and the fire door was wedged open; and made my way out of the flat lobby into the lift lobby. I greeted the workmen with a cheery “Morning, lads!” I think I might have just gone into invisible mode at that moment.

I hobbled around the tools, tiles and wires on the lobby floor, and I got to the waste chute room. Dropped the bags down the chute and was back out in no time. All without any trapped or knocked fingers, leg-dances, shakes or walking into anything.

Back in the lift lobby, all the rubbish on the floor had quickly been removed, and there were no signs of untalkative gentlemen anywhere.

Back in the flat, I decided to have an early meal. My aboulomania and pathological indecisiveness reigned. Of course, it took me ages dithering about what to have. Eventually, despite Dementia Doreen, I remembered I wanted to use up some frozen foods today to make room for the superb-tasting NoBull ice cream I’ve ordered from Iceland for tomorrow’s delivery.

I oven cooked a massive amount of chips (fries), to clear a bit of room in the freezer, as you can see. Hehe! I ate far too much. All my good work on the dieting over the last week meant nothing, as I feasted, licking my lips and feeling very guilty!

Taste-Report: The imitation fish sticks were tasty. The imitation smoked kippers in a vegetable sauce were super! The chips and tomatoes were excellent! The unknown origin shelled peas were disappointing. So, the plate of food gets an 8.2/10 Flavour-Rating!

The J Sainsbury cheese twist, and the sourdough bread, were both dry, bland and hard. So neither got eaten entirely. Eurgh! Shame! A score of 3/10 for them. I just thought I’d remind you of the new Sainsbury’s slogan they have adopted. Grangleturds!

Got the washing up done, and a Meridian supervisor came to do a Customer Satisfaction review. I had to be honest with her. Treated her to a choice of nibbles afterwards, though. Dean arrived at almost the same time to collect her treats. I think it’s three or four weeks now before her wedding. She said she particularly liked yellow roses. She took the bag of goodies, and I even remembered to add the strawberries from the fridge.

2: The moment the Meridian gal left… l had to make a swift as was possible hobble to the wet room! It was a close call again! No pushing required, down… splash-splurt; all done in seconds! Med Dioctyl ACleaned up and washed, then took another Dioctyl poo-softener… I’ll start taking them one a day henceforth until they run out, or Trotsky Terrence loses his winning streak over Constipation Konrad! I must remember to ask Carer Richard to read the use-by date on the pot in the morning. I think cataract Kathleen is making my sight a little worse each day.

I got the pot of vegetarian ice cream that I got from JS, and I had a few big spoonfuls. Compared to the No-Moo one from Iceland, it was whiter but too sweet (I’ll still eat it, though, Hehe!) Costlier too! The No-Moo one was yellower, not so well packed and tasted less sugary, which suited me more than the JS one. Especially as these ones coming tomorrow were on offer. From £2.50 down to £1.50! Definitely, a case of and a tasty treat discovered!

I nodded off, emptied bowl on my belly, in the second-hand, £300, charity shop-bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner. It was bliss while it lasted, but it only lasted for ten minutes, as the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune burst forth from the door chime.

It was Sarah… or Samantha maybe? She got the medications sorted, but did not check as I took them for any dropped or regurgitated ones. So much for my mentioning this earlier. But she’s a good gal. No treats were accepted this time. Bless her!

I made up some Spring Water bottles, one with lime, one orange and the small one with lemon & lime. I do live well!

At 20:25hrs, I got restarted the WP and got back on Monday’s blog updating. Getting the latest photos uploaded first. So many were not useable, I had no idea I was shaking so much, and somehow a lot of them were lost. A

I got as far as here, and I went on the WordPress Comments. That took longer than I thought it would, nearly midnight now and the eyes are making things hard with the keyboard and screen.

00:15hrs now. No, I’ll have to stop.

TTFN each! 💜

Inchcocks Tuesday 31st May 2022 – With Ode

ODE to MEMORIES

♫ Memories are made of this… ♫

Memories I have of sweets costing a farthing!
Getting skin cancer through over-sunbathing,…
I had sex once when I was thirtysomething…
Being six, Mam ran away, and I learnt snogging,
Christine, her name, I was her plaything!

Skidmarks on my unwashed underclothing.
Trying my hand as a pugilist, boxing…
I never won a bout; I was constantly losing…
So tried the sports club amateur wrestling,
Just one fight, it left me frothing and bleeding,

Years later, I tried my hand at WordPressing,
Got dementia. It is very depressing…
Worked in security, tried a spot of sleuthing,
Caught a crook once; he was very scathing,
He was found not guilty; I was seething!

I went undercover pretending to be birdwatching…
Dressed in camouflage, green and brown clothing…
Binoculars to hand, RT and truncheon packing…
Fell out of the tree as I suspect, watching…
Lost my job; it was gutwrenching!

Realising how bad I was at odes & blogging,
When I was getting on a bit, seventysomething,
I had a period of deep thoughts and soulsearching,
Seeking whatever, a reason to carry on trying…
Now I’m approaching the time for dying…
Oddly enough, there’s no crying, just a bit of sighing!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

TUESDAY 31st MAY 2022

05:10hrs: After yet another horrendous night of shooting awake, nodding off and bursting back into ersatz life, I gave up; I needed a wee-wee, anyway. But that in itself was a nightmare… well, morning mare!

The regular of late, trickling, waiting and whistling, was followed by an even more extended period of dribbling! At least by taking my time and making sure that things had stopped, I avoided any splashing of the furniture, carpet or my body parts.

I started the sphygmomanometerisationing. BP first, with satisfactory results, as you can see here on the left. A smidge high, but nothing compared to many of last week’s figures for the SYS, at 149, DIA 74, and Pulse 78bpm. Very good! The Chinese (Hong Kong) was built by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, was still showing low. Compared to the target set by the hospital, of 35°c, at 33.7°c. But no worries!

I made up a waste bag and then went to the wet room to check out the feet and ankles that I found affecting my balance and hurting me a smidgeon.

I dug out yesterday’s photo of the pins to compare it with today’s (top).

Quite a change? The DVT and old ankle blotch had gone all artistic and more pronounced. Which is what the pains did as the day developed. They have not been this bad for months? Then I got the kettle on but didn’t get to make a brew as the innards summoned me back to the wet room.

Once again, the motion was reluctant to start moving. So, I had a go at the crossword book, a different one, as the previous one had got me struggling. Got a couple of answers in, and the sludge started coming! I can’t recall ever having a more gooey sticky, pongy evacuation than this was! Half a new toilet roll later, I started the mammoth task of cleaning up. Had a wash, got dressed, and went back to the kitchenette.

Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana, and got some photos uploaded to CorelDraw, then the computer. Got the Monday blog updated; it took me a long time. During which the feet started stinging even when I was sat down. What’s going off down there?

Carer Richard arrived. The lad didn’t look too good. So I launched some humour at him, to which he responded well. As he got the medications to me, the poor chap started sneezing and coughing, and he was sweating so much! Not that that stopped him for long, he even showed me how to get the Grammarly extension, not to give corrections for sentence building. Unfortunately, it stopped Grammarly from working at all! Hehehe! I laughed because we got it back on and laughed about it. (Phew!) Richard didn’t look any better when he departed, but I think he was a little happier. I hope he is not coming down with any illness. Fingers crossed that he’ll be back tomorrow and feeling better. I got the Monday blog post done last, and the Morrison delivery arrived.

The delivery person brought up the flowers first, so he didn’t damage them, and he went down to the other bags; that was kind of him. These are for the Wardens. He fetched the different parcels, and I got them into the kitchen.

Got the things stored away. There is no frozen today; the freezer would struggle to get a biro or single fruit gum in. At least I got some of the battered chips, not the ones I wanted, but the last ones tasted nice enough. They substituted for battered onions with a tray of mashed turnips? Still, they’ll do for me. The bananas almost made me feel guilty! They looked like a set of parents with their children. Alright, so I’m a little weird at times! It has to be admitted, I fear. My travel into loony-land is taking on a little speed lately. Hehehe!

Cleaner Esther arrived. Talking all the time, picking fault with me not getting out for some exercise… then she took the laundry down to get done. I missed most of what she said. But, I did pick up on my ordering too much food. I’ve long stopped bothering to explain things to her. Hehehe!

I took Morrison’s Amazon food delivery wrappers to the waste chute. The fire door was wedged open into and from the flat’s lobby area. Some work of some sort was taking place. The lighting of some sort, I believe.

I limped (the flipping feet are getting even more painful now?) down through the lift lobby and to the waste room door at the end to the left.

I partly trapped my knuckle in the cast iron lid as I shoved the bags into the chute. Nothing new; I’m becoming something of an expert in doing this!

Back to the flat lobby and through into 72 Woodthorpe Court single apartment. Well, I would; I live there. Hahaha! I may be losing it again here?

I got some Facebooking done and the WordPress reading. Later, got the oven warming up for the nosh, specifically the battered chips.

Esther returned with the washing, all done. Oh, the tongue lashing I suffered. I’ve no idea what they were about, mind you. But they flowed at me without relenting or relaxing for a good few minutes. Deafness can have its advantages. Hehe!

I’ll get the meal started, and then, if I don’t fall asleep, try to get the top Ode-making started. Got the beer-battered chips in the oven and got some WordPress comments answered, then went to check the ovens in the chips… or even the chips in the oven.

Enjoyed this plateful immensely. Especially the beer-battered chips. And soft bloomer sliced bread.

A Taste-rating of 8/10 was given. Then, as I had failed to get any desserts with the food order (my fault, Doreen Dementia’s), I guiltily had one of the baby bananas. You can see how small they were here. Tasty lovely. I’m not sure, but I might have heard it crying as I bit into it! Hahaha!

Washed the pots up. And then proceeded to drop the washing-up liquid bottle to the floor via my right toes. What a mess! Got it sorted out and just finished it.

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang out, and in came the Evening Carer. Well, Carers, mob-handed. Hehehe! They got the medications sorted, and we had a three-way natter for a couple of minutes, and off they went. Bless ’em.

I got the TV turned on, and there was no reception at all? Mayhaps the electricians, needed to turn off some connection to get done whatever they were doing? So, I put in a Heartbeat DVD to watch. The message came up No DVD inserted! Oh!

I reset the Freeview system. But only a third at most of the channels were loaded, and all West Midlands? So, reset again, picking the ‘All’ option. This time it came up and seemed to be working. But the DVD wasn’t having it! Humph!

I could see the sky’s colour changing through the paper-thin curtains. And nipped out to take a photo of the unique cloud and sky colouring. Not the brightest I’ve seen by a long shot, but I thought it was an awe-inspiring bit of nature.

Fifteen minutes later, the glow of the sun’s setting permeated the room, and I hobbled into the kitchenette. To take this picture. Another masterpiece of nature. I’m so glad I didn’t fall asleep now. But soo regretted thinking this.

The sixth night on the trot of being unable to get to sleep. Couldn’t read a book, thanks to cataracts, glaucoma and saccades. Put the TV on but could not hear it or read the subtitles easily. But kept springing awake again, seemingly every five minutes or so. After perhaps twenty jump-awakes on the 21st, I gave up and rose onto my feet for a wee-wee. It was hard work and well gone midnight before I drifted off…

Morning all!

Inchcock’s Diary, with Memories and an Ode

What happened to Inchcock on this day, in 1953?

On his way home from the getting some cows heel and tripe for his Dad. As he was crossing the canal on the bridge on Wilford Street. A gang of teenage Herberts lifted him and unceremoniously threw him off the bridge into the canal! Being about six years of age, scared to death of water, and unable to swim (His fear was life-long, he still can’t). He struggled to grab hold of a barge rope hanging over the side of the boat but lost his grip, he got cold, and his fingers were not big enough to hold on… As he sank into the water, a pair of strong hands from a bloke in a rowing boat dragged him out and took him home. Where his father knocked the hell out of him for losing the tripe and cow heel, pointing out that the 2/6d (12.5p) cost would come out of his pocket money! Which baffled the lad a bit cause he never did get any pocket money from his Dad in his life?

SUNDAY 15th MAY 2022

05:15hrs, I begrudgingly woke and awaited the brain to join me. Which it did, with the message that I needed a wee-wee. I freed my cumbersomely large bellied body from the £300 second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable, unfit-for-use, not working recliner. NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) took me a while due to the vast amount of  PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

Dizzy Dennis kept going at me all morning long in short bursts. I got the waste bag sorted out and started prepping the veg to go in with Josies Chilli meal. Chopped leeks, carrots and peas.

Opened the can of Chilli and started adding the cooked vegetables. Put them in the saucepan and add squid vinegar (liquid salt), chilli powder, Worcester sauce, and malt vinegar. After testing the flavour, I can add gravy salts and tomato puree with basil.

Herbert is noisy again. Bloody Sundays and weekends, he’s always the same!

I visited the Porcelain Throne. A good job that the carer was so late because I must have been in the half-an-hour at least. Most of the time was spent cleaning and clearing up. Trotsky Terence was in charge again. You wouldn’t believe the amount of loo roll used! Tsk!

Got a good wash and showering done, I felt a bit better then. Coming out of the wet room, I got through the door, and by the fairer without a knock, shoulder slamming or toe stubbing.

A new carer came in without ringing the buzzer-chime, and of course, I didn’t hear her coming. Sarah, she’s not been before. Nice gal, but she didn’t take the waste bag with her, no problem. I can do that later with the next one to go. No problemo! Well, as long as Vascular Dementia Doreen lets me remember. Hehehe!

The photos went on through the card reader!!!! So I got the old ones on. Yesterday one here first. The state of the ankles as I came out from the shower yesterday. Not painful nor itchy, although they did later.

These on the right are what they looked like after this morning’s session at ablutioning. Not any different, really. Or are they, and Cataract Kathleen has missed something?

A morning photographicalisation from the kitchenette next. The bright sunshine on my face made it impossible to take a good one.

My evening, well, was the only meal of the day. Potato slices baked, tomatoes, crap tasting sugar snap peas. And gorgeous mushroom pate on a couple of baps. Taste Rating: 8.8/10!

These two were taken with a sort of foggy haze in the air. After seeing them, I thought they had a kind of gentle quality to them. That’s not what I mean, but as close to what I can explain. Peaceful, tranquil, they made me feel free from strife… of course, that didn’t last for long. But a good sensation while it lasted… I’m now awaiting the arrival of the next Whoopsiedangleplop. I pressed on with updating and posting the Saturday bog to WordPress. The Facebooking, WP Reader, and some WP comments are to read and reply to.

Herbert’s cacophony of banging, clanging and grinding noises continues.