Friday 26th August 2022

Opening Political Cartoon
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I woke up and was on my way to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) within 30-seconds of stirring back into ersatz life! With managing to almost fall out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner last night. I don’t know how I didn’t lose contact with the Amazon-bought, uncomfortable, plastic-peeling-off-of swivel chair! Hahaha! Yes, I’d fallen asleep at the computer!

The wee-wee was of the variety of UTD (Unwilling-Trickling-Dribbling) and CM (Cessational-Micturitional dribbling). The after-dribble after the initial wee-wee, possibly tool three times longer!
As I turned back with the bucket to be emptied held in my hands, I stubbed my toe against the ottoman! My reaction to saving the bucket from being dropped; was nothing short of a miracle. I dropped it, but not from a great height, and the liquid stayed in the bucket. Naturally, as the pain shot up the leg to the brain, I merely laughed it off. No cursing whatsoever.

I got the bucket emptied, sanitised and disinfected, and got on with the task of sphygmomanometerisationing.
I was jolly-well pleased with the Blood

Pressure figures. I put them in the medical site’s programme and returned this descriptive graph. I remembered that the Riverside Diabetes meeting for today had been cancelled as I was doing the readings.
I added my graphics to it in the name of entertainment… and because I love making them for a bit of fun.
After four days in the red zone, one day nearly of-off the graph: Things seem much improved today. Back in the amber area, that’s where I like it to be as well. Although two years ago, I had one day in the green Zone. Yes! That’s been my target ever since! If I live long enough, I might achieve this.

Aha! My spirits rose enormously! This morning’s Carer was Carol-Anne! Not seen her for months, many months. I thought she’d left to be honest.
What a precious gal. I had to give her a kiss and cuddle on her arrival. Carole didn’t mind, bless her. She spoke of the extra hour on Fridays, not having been since it was so-called arranged. I explained: It was initially for the Carer to do the laundry. But sometimes the laundry would come back not dried, and the clothing wrinkly. Also, I had not had socks, bobble hats, and shirts returned. Conversely, I have made a hand towel, tea towel, and pair of ladies’ knickers. I’m still paying for the hour, even though I’m paying Esther to do the laundry. She does a good job, and Esther hangs up the trews and shirts for me. Also as well as and besides that, she sews missing buttons on for me. Carol and I had an excellent nattering session, mostly me bemoaning my plight with the Diabetes, PN and Doctors farce. As I was paying for the hour, she lent me an ear. Hehehe! She checked the dates on the stuff in the fridge for me, cheese and ready meal found out of date. She will talk with my Doctor for me when she gets back to work. Carol has a few days off, going with her Mum away for a while. Great! She had to rush off after the hour, another call to make.

I spent many hours on CorelDraw before getting onto the blogging. Most of it was accompanied by Herbert’s mechanical concert from above. Percussion and drums mostly, with an odd clunk, throw in for good measure.

It was well into the afternoon before I started the daily ode and cartoon-creating. But I love doing the blog. Sometimes my hoard of followers and fans comment on them, you know. Why, on one day, only last month, both of them did!

That took a while too. Better get summat to eat before the evening carer arrives. Now then, what’s in the fridge freezer to have? I shall investigate… hang on; I’ve got some potatoes already on the boil.

Hang on, I’ve got to get the Warfarin tablets cut. So, I will do that. All done!
I’ll get a meal of some sort sorted out. Potatoes, tomatoes, and pretend fish sticks, it looks like. Good job. I’ve got the JS order coming on Sunday. It’s looking bare in the fridge after throwing away the short and out-of-date food. Tsk!

I’ll have a rummage around to see what can be found. To make a decent meal… Doreen makes me feel a schlemiel!

Well, I managed to knock up a half-acceptable-looking plate of fodder.
Imitation fish sticks, crispy onions, tomatoes, gherkins and those terribly-tasteless so-called by J Sainsbury, new potatoes. The overall flavour score was 6.4/10. The tomatoes and pretend fish sticks were not bad.

Arrived late, into that it mattered to me. Two Carers, one presumably a trainee. I was in a half-daze from being rudely awakened (Haha!), so I cannot say who it was that came or what happened. I recall telling them to help themselves to a treat on the top of the bookcase. Then walking to the door with them to lock it and wishing them well.

After that, I got down in the recliner again and started to watch the end of the heartbeat programme. I and my nodding off again. I woke for a wee-wee with a mammoth amount of

Back to the TV, nodded off again, and woke for another wee-wee! With the regulation .

Fell asleep again and woke up with the Dirty Harry film being shown; it was just starting. I decided to try and enjoy viewing it and bugger the sleeping. Ah, I like Clint Eastwood films.

At least another ten or twelve times and had to have four more wee-wees.

Woke up with the film credits scrolling down the screen! Well, that was Farcical!

I was worn out by then.
One final wee-wee with , and off to the wet room to clean and freshen up. Changed into new PPs, of course.
Straight off into the land of nod when got down again.
Overnight, I had to force myself awake eight more times for a wee-wee! Each one was short and sharp. Thankfully there were no more leakages, seepages or in these ones.

What an Oddlimost day!

ENDING POLITICAL CARTOON

Local News Snippets for Nottingham


ODE TO THE PAROLE BOARD ZOMBIES

Forgive my hatred of the murderers on the Parole Board…
My confidence in them will never be restored,

Are they under the thumb of a drug or gang lord?
Are they permanently pissed, schnockered?
Cause freeing murderers all the time, I’m shocked!
Freeing to kill again, this should have been stopped.

Parole Board? More like a smorgasbord!
When they go on holiday, wherever their boat is moored…
I wouldn’t mind if they fall overboard in the fjord!

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Well, it must be at least one murder a day in Nottinghamshire this year,
Yet folk carry on as if they have no fear?
To me, this all seems odd and queer,
The world going ever crazier…
Chanced for man’s survival, is doubtfuller,
Going outdoors has never been dicier!
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Police Inspector: ““I am pleased we have now charged a suspect in connection with this offence and would like to thank all of the officers involved for their quick response and determination.” Why are they not normally responsive or determined, then? More police on the beat might have been a better option. Ah, the cost… I see! I’ll try to visit the lady in the hospital and explain it to her.
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The gentlemen arrested and victim, for that matter, seem to be a little old for these violent shenanigans. I’m looking forward to and hoping to find out what went on. Mind you, the police are as well.
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I rather hope it was not in an Easy Link bus; I use and pay them for lifts to the Diabetes Sessions. I’ll remember not to question any driver next time they say I can’t use my bus pass to get a reduction in price.
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Scumballs!
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Thought I’d just slip a bit of good news in here!
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This must sound attractive to anyone thinking of relocating to Nottinghamshire to live or enjoy a worry-free, peaceful retirement?

Well, at least he chose the dearest supermarket firm to rob. I suppose they have been robbing us, certainly me, with all their ridiculous increases in prices. Now they send me a Coupon – to save £30 on my next online shopping. But I’ll have to spend not the usual $40, but £80! to get it. Bearing in mind that there will be a delivery charge if you spend below…
So, if they have, and they always have any products unavailable, then the saving will not apply. Also, last week, the limit permitted to buy on some lines had: Spring water – One. Freshly sliced potatoes – One. Five unavailables, three substitutions. But it doesn’t bother me in the slightest!

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Did I read that sentence right?

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Wotta record!
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Don’t they look like a sweet set of men?

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Local News Snippets – Issue 43¾


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The future for Nottingham is not bright…
Youths today want to drink, have drugs, have sex and fight…
Talking to them nicely, saying, ‘This is not right’…
‘You can go out mugging, but be home for midnight,
Drugs, coke, reefers, opioids, cannabis, or scrike…
Better to stay at home, and watch TV, eat Marmite…
Judges tell them, was stealing the car an oversight?
You ran away from policemen and are not contrite?
Then threw stones, and PC Smith nearly lost his eyesight…
Would you like an X-box? To play with at night?
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Was this caused by the culprit’s drinking?
Or was he caught with the other man’s wife, smooching?
Were they flatmates arguing over the TV they were watching?
Or neighbours, one of them noisy, door banging?
Mayhaps it was a loud toilet flushing?
Did the victim really deserve a good punching?
What if, during lunch, one started farting?
Or an innocuous retort, like one of them, harrumphing?
Or a house seller, fiddling and gazumping?
Or not happy with how the other cooked his dumpling?
Whichever, there is far too much violence erupting,
And revenge attacks flourishing.
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This is sickening!
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“I don’t want to keep coming back to jail” Diddums then…
The threat of prison has not stopped you; you’re heartbroken?
Howarth, I don’t believe a word you have spoken…
Your sexual interferences seem to worsen!
My word for you has a hyphen…
You should never be forgiven…
Doctors and courts can’t cure or make your sins unhappen…
I’d chain you up in a pigpen!
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Vicious Scumbag!
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What the hell is going on in this country?
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So many more foreigners committing crime,
It had to happen in time…
Not enough people are anticrime,
So, we get more of the criminal slime…
Drug gangs, slave traders, murderers, autocrime…
Being allowed into the country all the time…
But what I say is not worth a dime…
For we are a world-race, mixed, and that’s fine,

Some drink Champagne, vodka, and wine,
Criminals, chancers, youths or smalltime…
They should all be given arsenic & cefmenoxime!
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What are the odds? Inchcock to find three houses?
In the last three efforts, I’ve found just one!
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Are they trying to keep us on tenterhooks?


Three years & ten months sentence?
For once, the judge didn’t show benevolence,

This leaves me in a state of ambivalence.
More than the 85-year-old bashing git below…
Is this really jurisprudence?
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A vicious coward, lacking any penitence…
Attacks an 85-year-old – gets a pathetic sentence.
Proving the laws an ass, and has idempotence.
He’ll be out in months, proving the Parole Board’s diffidence!
And maybe, the laws concupiscence?
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Every overpaid member of the Parole Board…
Should receive a Special Inchie Award!
For each freed early murderer, who kills again, they release…
They should be arrested by the police!
Stripped and tasered twice…
Locked up in a cell of ice…
I know this doesn’t sound very nice,
But these rich do-gooders, we must neutralise…
Freeing scumbags to kill again, they may think, is wise?
To innocent victims, they should apologise,
Then by hung, so they can say no more lies!

Just a passing thought…

Inchcock’s Local News Snippets – Issue 33↉

ODE TO CRIME

Some say crime is committed by the riffraff, the social residue,
And we’re all aware this is in itself, true…
Those who escape punishment are often the true blue…
Bankers, the rich can get away with crimes, so often do!
Anteriority and ruling classes are dishonest too…

But get prosecuted? There are so very few!
Worldwide there is deception, greed, murders, a hullabaloo…
For the Grenfell fire, justice is long overdue…
A Tory Council killed so many people, seventy-two!
Over Grenfell, the councillor’s actions are still under review!
It makes my blood boil and stew…

Why no protests? Cause they were immigrants or a Jew?
From Lithuania, India, China, Pakistan, or Timbuktu?
Misleading claims, lies, and cover-ups, for us to misconstrue,
The brave firefighters dejected, hitherto…
Their ladders were too short, they suffered Deja Vu,
The victims and relatives need justice, but from who?
Let’s be honest; prosecutions are long overdue!

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NEWS SNIPPETS

You can see why they needed so many weapons about…
All of their drugs, it’s worth the law to flout?
Bet they drink champagne, and the police on stout,
With so many weapons, they could give Putin a hand-out?
Every gang member, each one a lout!
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Well, these angelic little Angels would tempt most waverers on the bringing back hanging to reconsider! Don’t they look nervous?
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Can anyone help them?
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He was feeling a little depressed. This can happen to anyone…
Defending himself, is he an arrogant paragon arrogant?
Obviously, money-mad, being a plastic surgeon,
Why not an EENT man, cancer, or psychosurgeon?
Mayhaps he drinks champagne by the flagon?
Has an evening meal of caviar and sturgeon?
His hopes of being found innocent? A smidgeon!
If so, he can run away and start surgery in the Yukon!
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I hope this murdering scumball is not getting paid for his appearance on Gogglebox? I’d bet that he is!
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An Uber spokesperson said: “The safety of riders and drivers is a top priority for Uber, and this is a concerning report. We will investigate this incident.”
Must be more to this, worra you think?
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Result in the minus for the first time in a while!
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Inchcock continues to fail to win in the free Play-To-Win competition!
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These are the latest available records of Nottingham Violent Crime Statistics.
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ODE of UNRELATED THOUGHTS

Peripheral Neuropathy has made me ambisinister.
We’ve got Rishi or Lizzie for Prime Minister…
Either one could prove to be sinister,
I was never much of a student or educator…
But I self-taught myself later…
Which was a disaster…
He hated me… the headmaster,
On the balcony last night, I thought I saw Jupiter,
Taking 10-minutes of wee-weeing; makes me loopier…
Do you think my Arithmophobia…
Would it stop me from getting a job as a croupier?
I think my memory is getting more forgettier!
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Keep Safe.
Cheers!

Local News Snippets – Part 14⅒th

Unwin must have been known for having a violent history…

For four officers to escort him, obviously the dullest,

To take off his handcuffs, knowing he’s the unfriendliest,

A decision that proved to be one of the iffiest,

Four officers were assaulted; was there an inquest?

In court, battered officers, the most ignoble,

Saw a sentence handed to Unwin, the patheticist…

15 months, suspended, no wonder he reoffended!

This sentence should go down in folklore,

Not one policeman beat up, but four!

Now he’s free to duff-up some more!

Why is there no complaining or furore…?

Namby-pamby sentencing gets more and more,

Violent police assaulters, by the score…

Laughing at judges even more…

Softness won’t work, like with Putin’s war!

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Modern-day gangsters, barely out of their nappies. What chance for the future, with scum-ball bully boys so scared, they have to carry weapons and use them to intimidate others? There is no chance of any retribution worth talking of. I’m sure the threat of having to serve two-thirds of their sentence and the rest on a licence will send a shudder of fear through their vicious, antisocial, greedy, cowardly, cowardly, drug-crazed, chicken-hearted, self-centred minds.

What chance for the future, with scum-ball bully boys so scared, they must carry weapons and use them to intimidate others? Modern-day gangsters, barely out of their nappies. No chance of any retribution worth talking of; I’m sure the threat of having to serve two-thirds of their sentence and the rest on a licence will send a shudder of fear through their vicious, antisocial, greedy, cowardly minds. It’ll get them some more street-cred with the opposition drug gangs, which is more concerning to these lice than any prison sentence. OF course, they will be able to access drugs for personal use via manipulated family members and visitors. Not having to worry about getting medical attention, cooking, cleaning, council tax, the increase in the cost of living, having computer problems… Hang on that does sound a little tempting. I bet if I was incarcerated, I’d get both cataracts, saccades and glaucoma done quicker… Maybe, even get some help with Vascular Dementia, Doreen? Be able to actually see a real doctor! Not to fret over food price rises, rent, and carer cost increases… And stick two fingers up at my unsolvable computer problems; I can use the prison ones and get the internet for free!

Now that’s got me thinking. Who’s the idiot, these three stooges or me? Have I been missing out on things in life? Silly question that! Obviously, I have been missing out, or why would I end up where I am, after a slog of miserable, failed, error-filled life, stuck here surrounded by tellurians and so lonely?

Can one of these three good-looking drug-gang members might advise me on how and where to get a reliable handgun and ammunition? 

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Surprised? I’m not. The end is nigh! The world is racing to it. Not much point in betting on which way the world and or humanity will self-destruct, but I’ve come up with some odds:

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A sore point, so I’ll say no more!

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Covid numbers, not so good?

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I keep on failing!

TTFNski!

Inchies Local New Snippets with Odes- Part Two

Inchies Local New Snippets Part Two

Here are some terrible crimes being committed,
That will never be lessened or ameliorated,
While issuing laughable, pathetic sentences…
And obviously guilty scum, even get acquitted!
Judges and Parole officers aren’t assassinated.

Prisons are losing many an inmate…
Out on the run, not waiting for their release date…
They’d be freed by the Parolees and only had to wait…
Judges give them ten years… you’ll have to do two, mate…
A policy of being kind, as they kill… I can’t explicate!

Part Two of Nottingham’s Animalistic Crime Snippets
Plus, a rare bit of good news – I hope

I nearly got caught by these scamming swine!
At 03:40hrs the other morning, I was drinking wine…
The mobile phone tune flashed, did opine,
A text message tune. Had someone forgotten the timeline?

To me, this looked all genuine and fine,
With the NHS website on a lower line…
I got back to my alcohol-free wine,
No need to take any ranitidine!

But I fretted over it, oh, this worrying of mine…
Dithering, vacillation and my mental decline…
Carer Richard, fast becoming a mate of mine,
Investigated, found the telephone number online,
Do not use it! It was a Scammers mobile line!
Richard’d saved me from another dwine!

Whoever took this photo is a braver person than me,
Eight men fighting in front of your home are, ayee!
I’d hide behind the curtain, likely needing a wee-wee,
Full marks to the photographer, heroic of thee…

What going on with violence in this country?
I suppose it’s similar in Liverpool and Coventry?
Italy, France, Ireland, America or Germany?
Gangs, some worse than were the Mafia family!.

No peace for the lad’s family. Indeed, there will be no justice in the sentencing if they are found guilty.

Oh, the poor unfortunate little chickadee,
Sentenced to six years in prison… he’ll soon be free…
The Parole Board won’t let him serve more than three,
These overpaid do-gooders really wrangle me!

So are so many paedophiles walking free,
But we can’t cure them, you see?
Why are they let off so easily?
Bent judges? Or full of sympathy?
Do judges and parollers suffer from epicaricacy?

Don’t approach him; he’s dangerous?
Life imprisonment; in an open jail, Jesus!
Why, with such dangerous scum, be generous?
With his record, he’s not likely to be abstemious!
He wants, he takes, violently, certainly not adiaphorous!
He’s cleverer than they thought and stays anonymous…
Till he went on telly, sticking his finger up at us


A letter just arrived from the Doctor,
I know, it was a bit of a shocker…
I thought she’d died; bless her,
It’s been so long since I saw her… November?
I hope she’s not got any sneerier…
I’ve got to make an appointment without failure…

For a Severe Frailty Revue… what can I do?
Cataract ops that’ll make me blind are due?
One on the 15th, then the 18th, not one, but two,
Then the dentists are due around then too…
Dementia Doreen keeps putting me in a screw…
Neuropathy Pete, sending me in a mental stew,
Plans, thoughts, ideas, and intentions are all askew,
Ask for help, they tell me, and that I’d do…
Sounds logical, but to where and who?

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Drunken rages; the man needs help, assistance… but he’s, had support before, but he gets more violent, his partner is in desperate need of help, but shows impressive residence and loyalty… why? I don’t know. Likely because she is so scared of the slob? So it’s heartwarming seeing the caring about the victim judge telling him, after issuing the pathetic sentencing, that he will only serve half of the prison term before being released?

Justice is all we want to see?
Something to make the victim worry-free!
I agree that there is no guarantee…
But slaps on the wrist are fiddle de dee…
The justice system has gone all namby-pamby!

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The Sun Glasses arrived through the door,
Squashed through the letterbox, Cor!
But unbroken, what is more,
The price tag on them read £15.54!
But I paid £4.94, a bargain for sure…
Plastic tag keeping them closed, or…
I’d try them on, but I can’t open them anymore…
Kathleen’s Cataracts, eyesight so poor,
Now, even so cheap, they’ve lost their allure!

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Sad as they come…

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Ha, Ha, Ha!

I’m confused?

Well, that’s no surprise!

I’m not saying I was not a bit of a tearaway,
But, I see more crumbling of morals day by day,
Manners, politeness, honesty… all in decay…
Empathy, caring, and understanding float away…

Uneducated, unemployable youths today…
Join gangs for self-protection, they say?
Can’t get a job, to violence they stray…
Yet they’re experts on scamming and eBay?

To a degree, it was the same back in my day?
But we knew when to give way, not like today…
Instead of a one-on-one fistfight, now it’s a machete…
Gun, knife, anything to harm and kill nowadays!

If I asked to tell them to be kinder and pray…
Then I would end up as one of their prey!
They rely on drugs and their illegal distillery,
As they age, those not yet killed move on to spivvery,
Get too old for burglary and robbery…
To become au faux with blackmail and bribery…
Some will start wearing ladies’ hosiery…
And, if there’s any justice, catch leprosy!

NEMO MORTALIUM OMNIBUS HORIS SAPIT

Inchcock Today: Monday 13th June 2022

13th June 2022

LOCAL NEWS SNIPPETS

Apparently, he also had charges pending for arson,
Drug supplying, TWOC and mugging with aggression,
He resisted arrest in June, giving a PC an abrasion…
Which bled, and the PC needed a blood transfusion,
Some good news, although he was bitten by a police Alsatian!

Luke Riley was jailed for 18 years; what are the chances?
Guilty of 11 child sex offences… it brings hatred & tears!
Including two counts of rape of a child under 13 years!
The Parole board’ll free the swine after 10, sad dears,
To enable him to rape again, of course…
They’re as guilty as he is, but what is worse…
For another child, it’ll prove disastrous…
Parole namby-pambies deserve some adverse…
Black Magic, hexing, a witches curse,
Locking up, hanging, at least something mortiferous!

No mention of Brayan’s admission of getting 139 illegals into Nottingham last year. No doubt he runs ten properties in the Nott’m area, which is all owned on paper by his Sister back in the city of Kirkuk in south Kurdistanin, and them being room rented out… Ah, Gorrit! Bet he’s shopped on the bosses of the slave trade? That’ll be why they have been treated so lightly for the despicable crimes they have committed? Profiteering by getting the poor lost souls into the country hidden in vans, and making them pay through the nose for years! Gits!

His defence? Almighty God wanted me there! I wouldn’t have thought that Putin would be too bothered?

I bravely hung out of the window this morning…
To take this photo, it was cold, I was shaking…
I hurried it, all done in a twinkling,
But, getting back in, Glaucoma Gladys was itching…
The hospital told me there’s to be no scratching!
The Cataract left eye, not even any touching…
So, I stubbed my toe instead… Hello, the mobile’s ringing?
Who can this be a three o’clock in the morning?

The message above, you see, was somewhat confusing…
I thought the tune was a telephone ring…
But no, definitely someone was texting.
Was this genuine, or was someone hacking?
Mayhaps a cold-caller pestering?
A con-job, this’ll need careful handling?
Carer Richard’s due in two hours; I’m praying…
He’s the lad to help, no quibbling!

It was getting lighter later but not much brighter,
Shut the window, trapped finger… blood blister!
Dropped the ointment and trod on it in a fluster,
But my bravery, I did muster…
Proud, I felt like a boshter!

Three visits, over £2,500 worth of stock filtered…
Had they not caught him, he’d have made a fortune!
Luckily they got him as he faltered…
He’ll be out on parole by the end of June…
To carry on, and Wilko will be pilfered!…

He punctures a stranger’s lungs, fractured his sternum, stabbed him in his chest, he’s on drugs of course – and what do the good old protect the public Crown Court turnips give him for this unprovoked attack? 10 months in Young Offenders holiday camp!!! Then tell him he’ll only serve half of the sentence and be released on licence… I can help but remember the 30 murderers who were released early and all killed again! The 44 early release prisoners who raped again! The 9 who stabbed again… the 11 who raped again… And my biggest hatred, the overpaid yet inept Parole Board scumbags who allowed these to happen – they should be found guilty of the offences of their freed early prisoners!

Just thought I’d mention it.

COVID

FIGURE UP?

Inchcock Meal Snippet News

Chips: passable
Turnips: Undercooked
Mushrooms: Nicely seasoned for once
Tomatoes: Okay
Gherkins: Good
Pickle Balls: Enjoyed them
Apple: Too hard for the teeth to cope
Strawberry dessert: Too sweet
Veggie Hot Dogs: Terrible binned them

SAD LATE NEWS

e-scooters: Eleven deaths and over 1000 injuries were reported across England, Scotland and Wales last year. The use of privately-owned e-scooters on public roads is illegal. The figures alone should be enough for the Government (sic) to act on this.

The poor woman’s family do not want any bother or attention, and they have asked to be left alone, to mourn.

What with these e-scooter killings and injuries, the repeated releasing of killers & rapists early by the Parole Board, who murder and rape again… It baffles me.

Keep Safe Out There!

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Inchcock Local New Snippers – Issue 31⅜ths with Odeing

Local New Snippers – Issue 31⅜ths with Odeing

ODE to the Parole Board Killers!

Early on the week so fewer murders, you see?
Not that violence and killing, are my cup of tea…
Death can be unexpected… come abruptly…
Or a knife across the throat, from a druggie?

Or a murderer gets life… ten years and he is free…
To kill again… it’s the Parole Board that’s guilty!
In prisons, more prisoners become an escapee!
It’ll happen again, I can guarantee!
Each killer should become an amputee!
Penis, hand, foot or leg, doesn’t matter to me…

Parole Board are paid so exorbitantly…
Taking their pay, for acting fraudulently,
As killer after killer, they set free!
Most, to murder again… honestly!
They should be hung straight immediately…
As a freed killer takes another life away!

30 killers killed again after being freed I say…
Release from prison twixt 2000 to 2010, May,
Will there be justice for relatives one day?
As parole board members, kill negligently,
Innocent victims have to die this way?
I share my views somewhat ineloquently,
But I so hate Parole Boarder’s complacency!

That’s got that gripe out of the way for a bit… Onwards…

Mayhaps the officers good will they nouriture?
Will criminals expect this kindness, in the future?
And at the station, a glass of wine, a bowl of garbure?
Giving time to a mugger, to scratch his dojigger?
I can’t understand this… best you figure!

That’s three weeks on the trot that faults have been found in a care home? Mansfield Road too. It rings true to home about the medicines not being given on time or making sure they are taken. That’s if they come at all. I hope Meridian don’t get a sudden visit from the CQC… could be the end of the company. And there are so many characterful and a few empty, and brilliant Carers who call. Eventually, that is. There have only been three times they have missed.

More policemen hurt, yet again,
Violent crime is growing immane!
PCs ought to carry some enflurane…
Criminals using language, most profane…
No good talking to them nicely, that’s certain!
Most arrests seem to contain a blood stain?
Or bruise, getting battered about and pain…
These are for policemen, not for the villain!

Another young local scumball,

Scum-Bucket, I can see his home from my flat window,
Another local druggie, mug-whumph and crooked Amigo!

That’s a different weapon used for stabbing…
Policemen of Nottingham, and attacking
Spitting in their face and verbally ridiculing,
Is common, like many things, kicking, shooting…
No doubt police injuries are centuplicating,
Will they ever stop? I’m still waiting…

When I was born, I logged in at just over 3lb,
Weighed in the coal scales, the only thing around,
Mummy said, “I don’t want it, throw it in the Trent!”
Being told this later was a bit of a rent!
She did some things later that made me gay…
When I was four, she ran away!
And they say there’s no answer when you pray?

Good News at last?

Bad News continues! Haha!

The con-man drug-pusher, named Pauca Dzintars,
Escapes punishment, say for his mother he’s a carer,
So the law is kind to him, trying to be fairer…
His going free will undoubtedly make him cheerier,
He’ll go back to pushing, it makes him wealthier…
And thinking of the law, with a laugh and snigger!

ODE TO CRIME

Chasing violent crooks can be dangerous & risky,
Offenders may be drugged up or drunk on whisky,
When caught, if caught, they escape acrobatically,
Killers are freed early, to murder again automatically,
Officers are expected to act at all times ‘properly’!

Arrest people nicely, and do the job soberly…
Getting knifed, shot, or stabbed, comes naturally…
They must not say anything to prisoners inflammatory,
They’ll get support nor help, Parliamentarily,
It’s no wonder new recruits get a little fidgety!

I fang you!

Local News Snippets – Part 23⅞ths

Will justice ever be seen again?

Will murderers ever are executed, slain,
Although hanging is looked upon with disdain,
Are all MPs against it? I can’t ascertain…
Convicted to life in prison, they should remain,
In prison, it’s easy for them to get cocaine!
Many have broken out again and again!
The injustice of the legal system drives me insane,
Execution will never return; is it concrete, certain…
Then again, in a few years, although by then inane…
People will realise life on earth we cannot sustain!
Too many people to feed will cause our destruction,

We have to urgently reduce the world’s population,
3 million murders a day, and we lock them away,
Feed them, medicate them… well, this is no way…
I suggest we use the skills of our local electrician,
To electrocute murderers or try decapitation?
Get rid of the scumbags that infest our Nation,
And remove their breeding stick; that’ll do the trick!

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Local News Snippets – Part 23⅞ths

We’ll start off with a report on the Covid pox,
I imagine there’ll be more soon on the monkeypox…
Or maybe one on the return of chickenpox?
But first, we’ve Covid yet, outfox,
First, I’ve got to get my head around Firefox,
Then when time, I’ve got Germoloid my buttocks,
While Nottingham scum work out the new car locks,
I must order some new diabetic kneesocks…
Then get through the day full of shocks and shlocks,
I’m waffling again; sorry if I got you in a flummox!

Released on bail, it makes me wail…
So he can get more drugs and ale?
Didn’t know what it was, his conditional bale…
Tell him not to drive? That’s a fairytale…
Not to get drunk, on spirits or impale a female?
He mustn’t run away to Wensleydale?
I’m guessing, him responding to his bale? A dwale!

Blimey, reminds me of my mother. Regretfully!

Yet another one does a runner!
Parole boards’ reputation gets murkier!
Deterrents for crime get flimsier,
Scumballs are getting treated kindlier?
Escapees are getting more regular…
None-returnees are getting cunninger…
And I’m definitely getting portlier!
That’s nowt to do with escaper…
Who’s a  naughty boy and a fibber!

One thought appeals. Best not say!

Despite my total lack of winning anything gambling-wise, for about 62-years now – I anticipate and expect a win of some sort shortly. Surely?

See his sneer? He’s got no fear…
He may well like it up the rear,
Will he settle in the nick? Or disappear?
Things happen, and he may even get leerier?
I’d sooner he dies slowly, contracts malaria,
He can be educated on how to be friendlier…
Be good if another prisoner went for his jugular!

Learn summat new every day!

Gorrum!

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Proletariats from all around the land, Bless them…
Cheltenham, Birmingham, Nottingham or West Ham,
Wherever; realise that MPs & the law are a sham…
Anytime now, expects riots with a wham!

Inchcock’s Local News Snippets – Part 33⅓rd

Inchcock’s Local News Snippets – Part 33⅓rd

Seems to be a question over which part this is? Haha!

Breaking News – Deadly Caterpillars found in Nottingham!

What with swine fever & poisonous insecticide…
Covid, Putin, bird flu, which is worse? You decide!
Drunk drivers, murderers, and a shortage of cyanide…
We’d better sort out the best choice for suicide…
Jump off a high building, shoot yourself, or use Fungicide?
Easy for me, I’ll take 10 Warfarins and a few Furosemide
The kids would be heartbroken if their dog died…
But would self-immolation really be justified?
Maybe, cause Putin’s war will soon go worldwide!

I’ll try to catch the court case to see the sentence,
Unless the lily-livered judge decides on his innocence,
All he’ll have to do is show the mock judge reticence,
The judge will bring up some 1895 jurisprudence…
See that the lad didn’t mean to kill, using grandiloquence…
The beak congratulates the lawyer on his great defence…
Fines the lad £50 and pays his court cost expense!

I keep seeing in these reports; the word Sherwood…
Me living there midst of the violence and blood…
Means I don’t feel safe, as any innocent would!
I think I should have left, absquatulated…
Mayhaps the miscreants are misunderstood?
Whatever happened to an eye for an eye, blood for blood…
Christs, it’s dangerous living in Sherwood!

An Angel of Mercy came to the rescue,
Gave no name, a white van driver, too!
Would you think he was from Nottingham, do you?
Probably from Wales, Devon or Crewe?

According to the court records, (a chap here works there). This animal has had 91 convictions for 41 offences. He’s awaiting trial for four fraud charges, attempted robbery, carrying a knife in a  public place, and demanding money from several taxi drivers! There are another 44 charges that were ‘dropped’ through lack of evidence (that seems a lot?) and domestic abuse. Five years and five months, with eight months for the eleven fraud charges. I need a mathematician here… how long did the scumbag get for each crime he committed, please?

Confusing?

We’ll trace the suspects earnestly!
No doubt, using their renowned synergy,
And cunningly concealed sagacity…
And scribble a note on the back of the hand!

By pure default.
This man’s a dolt!

Parole Board idiots let him leave clink early,
They should be prosecuted and sued, clearly…
They got it wrong yet again, then surely…
There are not up to the job, pathetically!
As Hughie Green said, ‘I mean this sincerely’…
The Parollers should be sacked and fined, but severely!

Mayhaps in prison, Brown could train…
The Parole Board idiots again…
Tell them they are thick, nonsane!
Freeing scumbags early is transmundane,
They’ll commit crimes again, fly off in a plane…
Laugh at them, call them names profane!

A murderer, drug dealer and a crackbrain…
They have been freed this year, have they no brain?
Everyone who was freed and committed a crime again!
I’ve proved at catching runaways; you are inane…
Parole Boarders have no morals to maintain,
Freeing murderers to kill again is inhumane!

Parole Boarders are as guilty… of this, I am certain…
Off the crimes committed by the freed-early lurdane!
Are the idiots’ drug addicts, or do they use enflurane?
Cause the arseholes free killers again and again?

We (UK) have 246 Parole Board members. It’s agreed,
The highest-paid member gets £166,560 indeed!
The Prime Ministers’ pay, this does exceed!
Justice for the innocents killed by Murderers freed…
The wife, husband or child victims’ families…

Guilty Parole members should be locked up or sauteed,
On bread and water, with the occasional fried centipede,
I wouldn’t say I hate or loath those that intercede…
Indeed one or two must-have accurately refereed?
Too many freed killers kill again! For revenge or greed!

LATE SNIPPET

Got Him!

Fair enough!