Inchcock Today: Tuesday 2nd August 2022

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TUESDAY 2nd AUGUST 2022

07:20hrs: I burst back into the world of woes with the regulation jump, jerk and jabberwockies. Realising how late it was, I climbed out of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner, was on the way to unlocking the door for Carer Richard and I had to nip into the wet room.
The actual evacuation was even easier than the last three days or so. But messier, you can’t win them all.
It was the worry over the water flood in the room that spoilt my pleasure with the rare good Throne visit. The water does not seem to lessen at all overnight, and, I admit, it made me nervous to walk in the water to get to the sink for a stand-up wash and shave. I chickened out. Cowardy cowardly custard! I can remember a year or so ago when the drain stopped working, and my going in to get the ablutions done… Mostly I remember the walking stick slipping in the water and my falling and entangling myself with the sock glide. The cuts and bruises took ages to clear up.

Hopefully, the maintenance will arrive today to have a look at the shower problem. I hope so because I must be ponging a bit by now, going showerless for so long. I’ve just had a sniff… Yep!

Arrived, and I’d forgotten again to unlock the door for him. He was in a rush this morning, so very little nattering was allowed. A inquired about his getting some sleep, but he was down in the mouth as he told me of the 24-hour gas works outside where he lives still drilling away and partiers making a racket again. Gave him some lager, teacakes and a bottle of Inchcock’s Special Brew. (That be a litre of Schweppes tonic water, with some orange cordial added, and stored overnight in the fridge for him). I thought it might cheer him up a bit; I got the first smile off of him as he left, taking the waste bags with him to the chute for me. Poor lad.

I got out the checking gear for sphygmomanometerisationing and the temperature reading.

I thought it was an idea to open the balcony windows to let a bit of fresh air in while I did the HCs… having not had a shower, no signs of any NCH maintenance man arriving yet. The howling wind encouraged me to close the doors again.

The results were heartwarming, all good readings again, and I was back down into the amber zone! The third time in three weeks!

Back on the computer, Cleaner Esther came in to get the laundry things. And she did not tell me off about a single thing! Mind you, she has to come back with the washing yet, so we’ll see. Hehe! She doesn’t frighten me!

Is back at his hobby, making steam trains for charity. I’m not sure if he makes so much noise on purpose or not. Hope he doesn’t kick off late at night again.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the door chime. My heart gladdened and burst with joy at the thought of the Nottingham City Homes plumber arriving to sort the shower out for me… Humph! It was neighbour Josie returning the things from her Sunday-Monday meal delivery. It was nice to see her, but all I said was not heard nor answered; she had not got her hearing aids in. So I smiled effusively and often. I never did find out if she enjoyed the meals or not. Bless her!

A text message came through on my G6 Nokia Lumia 929 Icon mobile phone. Only joking!
I thought it might be from the NCH plumber (again, I am a fool), but no, it was EE trying to sell me some crap for when I go abroad to save money! Another flutter of hopefulness, utterly destroyed!

♫ Oh, Susana’s ♫ tune rang from the door chime. Aha! Is this the NCH plumber? Nope, it was Esther returning. She explained that she was going to South Africa for three weeks’ holiday but had someone who could cover for her. She phoned the lady, Carol, who came to check me out. Nice lady, an ex-carer, and agreed to do the washing for me after Esther had explained my problems. They left together. Now waiting for Esther to return, and she did. She’d spoken with Deana to see what day they may be coming. Deana has reported it. It’s just a case of waiting now… Fancy that!

With so little sleep, I am getting irritable with myself, I think. Not with others, just with me. Not much chance of catching up on the sleep, well, none! I’ve got to stay awake to have the slightest chance of hearing the intercom when they arrive. If I go into the wet room, I can’t hear it, so, no opportunity to address my filthy stinking body with a stand-up wash and shave… risky (tumbles, slips) anyway with water still on the wet room floor… I’m not a winner, am I?

I got creative when I went to make a brew of Glengettie Gold tea. Ailments have stopped me from taking landscape photographs long since. So I took two snaps of the view from the kitchen window, put them together and trimmed them with CorelDraw. This is the outcome: Rather semi-pleased with this.

After making the brew, it had gone a smidge dark, and I took this picture of the wonderful if dank clouds this afternoon.

Good for Esther to arrange cover for her holiday. Time to get something to eat, methinks. So I did!

I knew it would happen. I fell asleep. No idea if any plumbers arrived and could not get in cause I couldn’t hear the intercom. If I can wake up early enough in the morning, before the NCH plumbers arrive, I will have to risk having a shave and stand-up wash and be ready for the ‘Will they come today’ big wait-in. Again!

Sharon arrived to wake me up. Medications given. Cold drinkies from the fridge in appreciation chosen.

On with updating this blog. Then on the WP Reader, answered a mass of comments came in on this blog. Got them both replied to.

The landline rang; it was Nathaniel from the Diabetes Defence Team. It was hard to hear everything he said, but I think I got the gist of the call. He told me to attend the next session on Friday 12th August.  He would stay behind afterwards and talk me through the missed first session. Being aware of Dementia Doreen, I asked him to please rng Warden Deana to inform her, so she can arrange transport – explaining that I feared I may forget to ask her. He said he would, and I thanked him profusely.
Getting back may be dodgy, might need a bus or tram, then two more buses, to get back to the flats. Being a Friday evening, there will be no Wardens or Carer boss available if there are any problems encountered. I am a worry-guts!

I did it again. Drifted of to sleep, and I was woken by Carer Sarah. Who got the medications sorted, and I forced a treat from the fridge on the gal in thanks. ♥ I checked the texts on the super new G6 Nokia phone to see if any messages had come in from Nottingham City Homes about the shoer repair attendance. Nothing on it, so I hope I’ve not missed them. Sarah said they do not call on non-emergencies after 17:00hrs.

Which got me thinking. I could get a stand-up shave and wash when Sarah has gone. I can lock the front door and dive into the wet room, and if I take extra care throughout, can I still get the ablutions done? After dithering a while, I gave myself the go-ahead.
Worra, good session! I carefully blocked off the flood water with a mop bucket, and I pulled the shower curtain over the other area. Then if I wandered into the danger area without thinking, the noise of either obstacle should alert me to the danger – it worked a treat! Fair enough, it did cause a , but it saved me having a tumble. I was proud of myself for once. No bleeding teeth, not a single nick shaving! Yes! And, just a few small flecks of blood from Harold’s Haemorrhoids and Little Inches fungal lesion had not been bleeding at all – plenty of stinging, of course, when I medicated the little unused other than for wee-weeing thing. Hehehe!

I came out of the wet room, a cleaner, sweeter-smelling Inchie. (Aftershave, deodorant, and the smell of Germoloid and Germolene creams helped. Hehe!) And had o go back in for a rear-end evacuation. Always something, whenever I begin to feel smug! It was a delayed action, a sudden swift and spurting movement, and so messy as things got sprayed to amazing distances. Cleaning it up also needed care to avoid slipping on the standing water. Still, I got it all sorted. Grade Two .

I sky when I got into the kitchen, was looking fantasic. I’ll put the earlier shots I’d taken here, with the latest one last. I’ll make the shots a little larger, so they can be appreciated. What a change!

A feast for the eyes. When I get cataracts done, I can really
relish watching them again.

I carried in with updating and posted this blog off to WP.

Then made the Ode below.

Inchcocks Diary (Curtailed), for Fri-Saturday

First, a few words to explain why this blog is as pathetic as it is

❶ I’ve lost so much time with Liberty-Global Virgin Media going down, I lost count of how many times in the last two days!

❷ Then, today (Saturday), Facebook started doing the same thing!

❸ I took a tumble on Friday, which left me with the shakes.

❹ The eyes seem worse today; it’s a struggle.

❺ Shaking, Shaun returned.

❻ Eyesight still poor

FRIDAY 20th MAY

Good morning; I didn’t do this blog until Saturday evening. There are very few memory notes on the pad and not many photos to help the grey cells out. Facebook was going off again so often, and Liberty-Global – Virgin Media. So this is not going to be very erudite… not that it ever was. There will no doubt be some guesstimating and missed events.

Up at 01:30hrs to get the previous day’s blog completed. WP Reading. Comments, and I pressed on for hours to get the blog done and posted. Facebooked until it, and Liberty-Global Virgin was going down so often, I gave up. Try to catch up later.

Carer Valerie called, and I had the shakes at the time, which worried her a bit; bless her. I was still a bit unsteady when the Morrison delivery arrived, but when he left the packages in the doorway and had scooted, I started to come round nicely. I took some photos while I got the things away.

Still, the fridge didn’t look overfull to me? Could it be the eyes? Or a ghost coming into the flat and eating my stuff while I slept? I put it down to the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, or ectoplasms, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I sorted things out but could sense, no idea how, but this happens sometimes, a feeling that either an involuntary right-leg, Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance Shuddering Shoulder Shirley was on the way and building up in preparation. It was a tingling sensation up and down my right side, where the stroke affected me. Huh! I decided to take as much care as possible to ensure there would be no ending up on the floor again today!

Herbert kicked off with the clattering, seemingly forever dropping things, drills, hammers, and meal boxes… Humph!

Arrived, I was not too good, and she noticed it. Said I was looking sweaty and pale, bless her.

Ablutions, then blogging away, making little progress. The computer went off again, so I made a meal; I can’t really remember if it was this one or not.

I recall going in the wet room, but I must have had a funny turn cause if I’d worked it out right, I was in there for an hour or maybe fell asleep on the Throne?

I had no idea who the evening caller was; I wasn’t even sure one had called… no… one did… I reckon. Shakes bad.

At it again. Clunk-thudding it.

Ah, I think it was Carer Cheeky Charlie who called on me, but… maybe not.

Got to sleep easier tonight, but the jumping awake was annoying.

SATURDAY 21st MAY

Gave up trying to sleep and rose around 01:30hrs.

Worked on blogging, no washing. Did my best.

Serene Sarah, I’m sure. Or Cheeky Charlie, was it? Both are lovely gals.

After she’d gone, I went to use the Throne. I was doing alright, had a wash while in the wet room, and as I turned towards the door, I had an involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance! I hit the wall and slid to the floor, and made a bruising contact with the floor in no time! It had to come; I expected this yesterday. Minutes afterwards, the lower back pain started and still has not stopped. I’ll see it goes, but I may call the NHS 111 number if I am forced to seek assistance. I won’t do it now cause the pain may ease off as time goes on. I’m such a hero… Hehehe! I’ve been a little wobbly on the legs since the Accifauxpas.

I’ve been a bit unlucky this week. The 40 bus did not stop to pick us up at the bus stop. The tumbles and knocks this week. Walked into doorframes, dropped a bowl of potatoes and cheese, burnt my hand, and slipped off of kerb hobbling up Winchester Street… so, everything is normal there then.

At it again. Clunk-thudding.

The Carer is due anytime now. Got a wash and got into the jammies. Then remembered the potatoes I’d put in the slow-cooker 13 hours ago… Mild Panic Mode Engaged, and shot off to check on things in the kitchen…

As I was getting them out of the pot with tongues, I got a hickey as I caught my little finger in the gripper. Oh, heckithump! Not only were they too soft, each one had blackies on the inside when I sliced them, So they are even looser now.

Carer Valerie arrived and asked me if I needed any help with the spuds. I declined her offer but thanked her. She got the tablets given to me and went on her way, taking the waste bags with her. ♥

I got back to the now lesser-blackeyed potatoes I’d sliced, and put them in the oven, to hopefully crisp them up a smidge. Got some tomatoes o the plate ready and two slices of imitation pork. But…

I cast my mind back to when I had to cook and clean for Dad. I’d got no bread, well I had, but it was in the freezer. So I got a few slices out, put them in an empty saucepan with the garden peas, and hoped they would thaw out before I needed them. No freeze, no fridge, no hot water other than what we boiled on the fire and stove, and no electricity (but we did get it later). Easy peasy when we got DC electricity fitted, gone were the candles… and damned good riddance! How the hell did I manage?

I checked on the potatoes, now sliced and in the oven. The sun was beginning to go down, and I took a few minutes pareidoliaing at the cloud formations. II thought I saw a mouth and lips or an imitation black hole that was white. Hehehe!

Got the fodder served up. The slow cooker and sliced and oven-baked potatoes were terrible, possibly my worst effort in years. But everything else was fine and tasty. Taste: 6.5/10.

Off for a wee-wee and had another figure-finding session at the kitchenette window’s clouds. Sadly, no pictures or visions were seen in the clouds this time. Although looking at them now (Sunday morning), I think I spot a monster in there flying?

As I searched for Sweet Morpheus, Herbert gave me a last short mechanical serenade with a whirling, whining sound to round off, decrescendo style. Possibly, an underpowered drill chugging? I mentally wished the aloof Laodicean a good night.

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Inchcock Today: At least I think it is…

I’m Bewildered, bemused, befogged & bewildered!
I’m possibly… no, probably going bonkers, besides!

I seem to have carried on from yesterday’s hospital visit and afterwards; the pathetic cock-ups, Embarrassments and Whoopsiedangleploppings, and the brain is refusing to do as I ask or want! Dementia Doreen is undoubtedly playing her part. In fact: today, she’s been a lot worse than she was on Tuesday. Considering that she got me lost twice in the hospital, and I then lost the ambulance man! The worst thing was my welcoming the evening Carer with no trousers on. I got so far behind that I had to limit the content a smidge and cut it short in places. Cheers! Enough of my moaning… no doubt more will follow. (It was all different in the end, I was up for over 23hrs, but not in good condition mentally or physically. Hahaha!) Not much sleep again.

I think I need help of some sort. Let the Diary beginneth…

Inchcock Today: Thursday 5th May 2022

06:25hrs: I stirred back into imitation life and worked out that although with many waking ups and nodding offs, I’d reckon I’d had a good four hours of sleep. I forced my wobbly bodied torso from the £300 second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner to have a wee-wee. This was a frustratingly drip-drip affair, which still gave me a load of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

Washed, sorted the bin bags, and readied them near the door. Made up Carer Richard’s bag. And made a start on finishing the blog on Wednesday blog updating. A cruelly slow job!

My Carer Richard arrived, looking tired out, poor lad. He patiently listened to my moans, complaints, and groans. A bit vague of things then… until the Iceland food order arrived…The delivery chap left the bags in the doorway; I offered him a tipple as thanks (Cider opted for) and got the carriers one at a time into the kitchenette. It seems that I had overdone the kitchen towels again… I’ve not got the foggiest idea why I do this, you know. I bet there was a good one when I ordered them, Humph! I got them sorted, wondering why I’d bought so many paper towels and wondered if they were on offer, but I did not know. There are no invoices with the deliveries nowadays. And the costs had risen sharply!

I got the veggie pasties out to eat later, and they had frosted over with my taking them out of the box last week to make more room in the freezer. I recall Richard warning me about this happening, and he was right. So I ditched them and some fish fingers and fishcakes that had gone the same way. Ah, well, that will not happen again, I hope. Now that Richard has bought me the freezer bags to sue next time bless the lad.

Did some more updating on the computer, but it took far too long, with the fingers shaking and nerve ends not working, Dementia Doreen, and the occasional vicious Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley’s outbursts – had created too much wasted time in having to correct mistakes that I’d made. Sometimes it was a job finding out how or what I’d done to get into the messes I did!

Received a call from the Ophthalmology Department at the Queens Medical Centre EENT. Told me that they would be calling me sometime over the next four days to advise me on the outcome of the third assessment and whether the referral for the Cataract surgery would be accepted. I asked if they could possibly Email me instead, but that seemed a no-no.

I rang Warden and desk-top dancer Deana. Explaining my having to stay in and why. Then begged her to come a get her nibbles and would she be kind enough to take the treats to Jenny, Frank and Norah for me. She said yes, bless her cotton socks.

Updated the blog again, and I wrote an ode for it at the end. As Warden Deana arrived, bless her. She was proper up to the neck in it this morning, too! Kind of her to take the bits to Jennie and Norah for me ♥.

At long last, I got the blog done and posted off to WordPress.

Not a single visit to the Porcelain Throne yet? And only three weak unwilling wee-wees all day, and it’s well into the afternoon now!

He was on and off with the banging this morning, then a break, and now he’s back again, constant tap-tapping with the odd clattering bout. Tsk! 

Then an: I went into the kitchenette to make a brew of Glengettie, dropped the milk bottle, and stubbed my toe to get the mop and bucket from the wet room to clean things up! A bruised shoulder from on the doorframe on the way out. Of course, I just laughed it off; I wasn’t bothered in the slightest...

Well, well, well!… The Blood Pressure results came out nicely; at SYS 122 DIA 57 and the pulse at 77bpm. I was well-pleased pleased with those readings. Which really were much betterer. Phenomenal! Moved on to the body temperature. Another decent result here, too! Giving a 33.5°c, only 1.25°c from the target level. Thank you!

Found some lost sky photos. Put them on here on the left. Nice!

I was not entirely Compos-Mentis, yet, the brain was a little hazy. So I decided to check with the Google Calendar to look at any entries that may need attention…

A few items certainly needed to be logged in the grey cells by gum. Being reminded of the Morrison order, Joe the window cleaner, and the DVT Warfarin INR blood test, all coming my way this Thursday! Grobbleturds! I bet I get something wrong, forget summat, or lose track and wander off into Foggy-Land, at some time? Hahaha!

Got back to updating Wednesday’s blog. But not for long.

My friendly window cleaner, Joe, arrived, who, despite my checking of his visit on my Google Calendar, I had forgotten about! This launched me into one of my boring ‘Telling my troubles’ sessions, which I think Joe enjoyed oddly enough. For there were many laughs and smiles distributed among us. Hahaha! I dug around and found some cash to pay him.

The Amazon shopper arrived and rang the intercom. But I could not hear it at all, although the infamous was banging about up in his flat… again!!! I was lucky enough to have to go to the WC for a wee-wee and saw the light on the panel was lit. Also, the man was patient enough to try again after the timer had stopped things.

I thanked him and offered a can of his choice in thanks. I think he went for the Woo-Woo can. I got the bags into the kitchen, and there were a good few and some heavy ones. I’d stocked up on the treat cans before they go up in price again! I’d also got as many cans of the Chilli Con Carni as they would let me.

The cupboards were looking fullish again now. It took me ages to get the things sorted; unsurprising how many there were. But I even got that wrong and had to move stuff from the wrong places to the right ones – getting fed up with myself again. I was struggling to concentrate just like yesterday? It must have taken me over an hour to get the job done.

I was pleased to get back to blogging, no matter how slow I was doing with it. Such a busy day, and interruptions all the time. This means when I get back to the computer, Doreen Dementia has stolen some memories of where I was up to, what I was going to do, and needed to do… I’ve already found a timing error, items out of chronological sync! I’ll leave them now. As I write these words, it is already past 22:00hrs, so another sleepless night? Humph!

Next, a beautiful patient laughed at my jokes, haematology nurse arrived to take blood for the INR DVT Warfarin test. I didn’t mind being disturbed by her. When she came close to me to dig the needle in, she told me my nose was bleeding. (I think it was because of when I hit the doorframe yesterday with my chin and nose, Tsk!) Hehe!

But DD (Doreen Dementia)  would not let me remember it at that time. I had no idea it was bleeding. I got a tissue, and only a few spots were on the kitchen towel. We had a natter while she inspected the Enoxaparin loaded hypos use-by dates. However, she inquired how you manage to inject needles in your tummy four times a day while shaking and wobbling like you do. I explained that the INR level has been so good for the past month that I’ve not had to do it. I had to practically insist she took a can in thanks with her.

I think that she may well have taken to my sense of humour, good looks, flowing locks, taut body, witticisms and youthful, masculine, muscled, young, vibrant body… Well… or not, like! Har-Har!

I took a photo of the darkening sky from the kitchenette window, and I dropped the camera on the floor!. Wot a clot! Still, it seems to be working, which is more than can be said about me. Will I ever get the blog finished? I tried again…

The ♫Oh, Susanna♫ tune came from the front door. It took me a while to get there, to find this box on the left near the door. Ah, the bowels/basins from Amazon?  I’d ordered them to replace the ones that Josie had broken, so I got plastic-porcelain ones and these enamel ones. The enamelled ones, they were all made in China, of course. I got the enamelled ones, cause the advert said they will keep the food hotter for longer. I got three of these for Sister Jane as well. The problem with them is that each bowl has a sticker with Chinese writing; it didn’t matter if it was too small to read; I’d not have understood it even if I could.

The ‘Clanger’ about them is that the glue stays firmly stuck to the metal! So, another hour or so lost trying to clean off the glue! Then I could not get it all off, but I’d scratched the gloss trying to! What a waste of time!

I rang Sister Jane, we’ve not spoken for a while now, to tell her about the dishes. We had a delightful chinwagging session for ages, but I enjoyed it. For ages, the thought of never getting the blog finished got to me afterwards. We nattered about many things, and both agreed that the way old folks are spoken to by some medical personages is getting worse lately. That prompted a tale from each of us; Hahaha!

I gave up with bowls. And made up a bottle of Spring Water with some orange juice, then took this photographicalisation of the changed sky view.

Cleaned up and got the box’s cut up, all ready to go to the chute later or in the morning. The landline flashed! It was Esther asking how I went on at the hospital. She’s calling to see me on Tuesday, that was nice of her.

Then on the blogging, and again…

The Landline chirped and flashed again; Gawd, I’m popular today? It was Ethel from the QMC DVT Warfarin Clinic. Giving me the new dosages for Warfarin. The INR level was spot-on the button… that’s twice on the trot now, after years of never attaining it! The nurse had told her of my nosebleed, and  I mentioned my walking into the door frame… I think she would have been laughing over there at this time. She’s a cheerful character. I’ve not seen her for years now. When (if) I go to have cataracts done, I’ll nip in to see her… that’s if I can see at all. Har-har-har!

I got the nosh on, and I did some work here while it cooked for 30-minutes. Pots, tomatoes, peas and veggie pasties. The pasties were Gregg’s, the meat substitute was not very nice, but the vegan pastry was delicious. Taste: 6.5/10.

Washed the tray and utensils, and along came Carer Natalie. I’m pleased to report that I had some trousers on for this visit (Fool!)

Ode To The Day

Lots of other stuff, good & bad, ‘appened today…
Dementia Doreen lets lots of them get away!
Bit, I expect this; often, I accept it almost casually…
Cause there’s summat worse, causes me to worry,
That may also be due to Doreen, alackaday!

Memory Maureen forgets, not always straight away…
Doreen installs her daily brain-storms melee…
Some thought I’d like to keep others to shoo-away,
Usually, the nasty Thoughts stay, as they did today…
Pleasant Thoughts always seem to keep well away!

I’ve many mental & physical ailments, and they stay!
So everything I need to do takes longer each day…
I’ve become a hoarder, who can’t throw anything away,
Not short-term memories, of course, or clamjamfry…
Fears, embarrassments, and shame flourished today!

Didn’t start this blog until well-gone midday…
Carers, nurses, cleaners, deliveries this Thursday,
I was awake from 04:00hrs until past midnight, I say!
Concentration was replaced by tomfoolery and complacency…
Time, dates, ideas, and fears, were in constant disarray!

I think it’s next Tuesday, my next pension day…
Price-Rises, rent, power, rates, insurance, even pasta!
Everything foodwise cost me much more today…
Price of desserts and drinks, a 20% increase… Nasty!

My life is becoming confusing and delusionary!
Gone are days of joy, contentment and the odd jamboree,
Are Dementia Doreen’s influences really necessary?
I suppose they have sort of become customary?
Either way, she can be so bloody cruel and scary!

 The Nottingham Lads Diary – with Odeing

Evening, all!

Inchcock Today: Off to the EENT Hospital

Escape from the flats to the hospital

Got lost twice, forgot I’d got no trousers on… Oh, dearie me!

A Tale of Inchcock’s Day (Five Hours), Out on Tuesday

After another ever-waking-up night’s lack of sleep, I woke and was about to launch into a state of blaspheming Sweet Morpheus’s reluctance to let me stay asleep. Fed-uppedness, niggardlyness, and a smidge of feeling sorry for myself.

But, Dementia Doreen allowed me to remember about the hospital visit today, and the bitterness dissipated, to be replaced by a remarkably determined Inchcock, who set about getting all the things needed for the hospital visit. (Fair enough, he did forget some items, Humph! I felt almost reborn… not the proper terminology, but close.

I waited until it was late enough, and then I decided to get the ablutions done. What a great session! There were only two tiny cuts shaving, one clouting the head against the power box when I bent to retrieve the loofah I’d dropped in the shower. Great! That was it Whoopsie and Accifauxpas wise.

Naturally, something had to go wrong after that wonderful start to the day. Gragnangles! I sorted out suitable things to wear, got the risky job done first, and put the diabetic bamboo socks on. The comfortable-wearing long ones.

But I had to use Sock-Glide-Glenda. True to form, I trapped my fingers twice, the same ones, of course, on each sock. That thick plastic gripper is deadly! I got a welt and a couple of bruises as well. But this did not put me off cause I intended to do my best to get the go-ahead with cataract operations, and after a couple of mild oaths, I carried on and went to gather the other needs of the morning.

Comfortable shoes, trousers, jumper, and the sleeveless jacket with all the pockets in it. It’s lasted a long time this one, I said to myself, as I got the camera (not much chance to use it though, Tsk!) and emptied the pockets to place the needed items for the trip…

Oh, ‘ecky thump! After emptying things out to make room, and started to put the paperwork, keys and the Crossword book in the jacket… They each fell right through and dropped on the floor at my feet! What’s going on here, I muttered! I went into Sherlock Holmesian Mode (I do that sometimes).

  The entire lining had seemed to go rotten! Only one of the twelve pockets was useable! Undeterred, I limped into the hallway to see if those hanging up had fared better. Two of them had not, and they joined the blue one in the extra-large bin bag! Humph! I checked the khaki one’s pockets. All seemed okay, so I swapped the emptied contents in that jacket. Got the PP’s, trousers and best jumper on.

I realised that Carer Richard was due shortly, so I thought I’d better check I’d not left anything on the floor in the hallway for him to trip over; he’s a good lad.

Guess what? In my haste, I stubbed my toe on the towel airer, lost balance, and was entangled with the tipped-over airer and towel on the floor! With new welts on various parts of my knee, head and face! Unglefrogwonglingisations! I later found that I’d broken a tooth as well. My spirits were getting a little lower than they were earlier. Cor, blimey!

I worked on finishing the blog, and the ♫Oh Susana♫ tune belted out from the doorbell. I expected to see Richard come in, but no! Another… I’d not unlocked the door!!! So all that pain and hassle was for nothing! I had left some stuff on the floor on the plus side and was pleased to move them if Richard did a Whoopsie of his own on them.

I went to admit the lad; he was alright about things. He soon got on with the medicationing for me. With a wry smile on his mush at my antics, forgetting to unlock the door, the marks on my face and head etc… We both saw the funny side. Hahaha!

I finished changing and was ready for when the lift arrived to get me to the ophthalmology clinic.

The door chime rang again; the door was unlocked, but whoever it was didn’t come in. It was Josie returning her dish and tray from her Sunday lunch. She did not say she liked it… Oh, dear! At least she didn’t say there was something she didn’t like about it?

The intercom rang and flashed – Aha, it was the ambulance lift. I told the man I’d come down, saving them the bother of coming all the way up then down again.

I made my way out of the apartment and down and out through the main lobby. Two ambulance men? Perhaps they’d heard stories about me? Hahaha!

The journey was uncomfortable, but all of the old ambulances I’ve been in were. So I anticipated it.

When we arrived, friendly and slowly driven, at the Queens Medical Centre, both lads came with me to the ophthalmology department waiting room.

Then took me to the waiting area. I could not hear anything the receptionist said, and one of the men translated for me. I realised then that I’d not put the crossword book in the coat or walker trolley. Shame that, cause it’s the only book I can read the clues on at the moment.

So I sat there, nosing at all around me. Bored rigid! But it didn’t take long for a lovely, attractive young lady to call my name out – but I didn’t hear it at first, and the gal took the bother to come and ask me, Hehe!

She led me to a small room with many machines for an ophthalmology-specific procedure. The blast in the eyes and many tests were patiently done on the beads. Deep family history was gone into, and about an hour later, I was returned to the waiting area to await being called by the Ophthalmologist.

During my wait to be summoned, I learned a lot, such as the lady in a cream coat is having smoked haddock for supper tonight. The man and woman and an elderly pair do not like the TV cookery programmes other than Gordon Ramsay’s. A lady in a uniform but not a nurse or medical one was annoyed when someone phoned her. I could not hear the other natterings, the acoustics are not good in a big hall. Hehe!

The Ophthalmologist lady came for me and led me to an even smaller room this time. Heck of a lot of examining and questions were gone through.

With Peripheral Neuropathy, I had trouble keeping my chin on the plastic thingamabob and had to look up all the time. The lady was not impressed or amused. She had to keep starting whatever she was doing again. I don’t think I was very popular at all. I did explain my conditions when I went in.

The eyes were tested using a log mar chart. In-depth history and current problems with sight. The Doctor knew what she was doing alright, it seemed to me. But I had to keep asking her to repeat things. Very quietly spoken lass.

I guesstimated about an hour later, and she gave me her diagnosis. Cataracts in the right eye only would be done; although you have cataracts in that left eye, they are not as bad as the right one. We’ll see how you are going with it when this operation is done before tackling glaucoma. She will refer me to the surgeon, 12-week an average waiting time.

During my appointment, she’d noticed Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley and my right-leg dance. She was concerned because of the delicate nature of the operation. Even seeing in one eye sees is better than none. It can only be done with no movement from the patient at all! This doesn’t bode well! Nevertheless, I was ticked pink at it going ahead.

I was told to go to the main reception to arrange a lift home. I didn’t expect a lift back, so I was even more gee’d up now.  I was feeling perkier now.

But I was soon back in my typical frame of mind, feeling a bit of a fool! I could not remember where the main reception was. I set off, trying to retrace my earlier route in reverse, and ended up in a room that looked like it had many babies all over the place? I withdrew hastily! Found someone to ask where the main eye clinic reception was located. And realised it was one of the receptionists I couldn’t hear talking a few hours ago when I arrived. Hahaha!

Anyway, I found it, and I had the job of hearing what the gal at the counter was saying again. She scowled at me and pointed in the direction of a two-seater settee in the corner near the door. “I’ve to wait there, then?” I think she almost clapped when she realised I’d got the message. She put a thumb up for me! Har-har!

I don’t know how long they were coming, but I was glad they were. When Richard arrived, he was cheerful enough. Then I made yet another cock-up…

By pure luck, I took a right turn and found my way to the outer door, seeing the two men looking for me! I couldn’t keep up with the chap and lost him and my direction again! Now I did feel like a complete idiot!

They got me inside and buckled in and went to get another patient from across the roadway. No problem. While they were out, I got my Canon camera and took some photo’s inside the ambulance. The first one is through the window on the back of the driver’s cab (above). Then one through the top side windows. At least I got a few photographs on my trip out, my escape from the flat.

Finally, one of the side doors and my beloved, makes-me-feel-safe three-wheeler walker. No patient came with them. So we set off for Sherwood and Woodthorpe Court independent living flats!

We were soon back at the flats after a carefully driven journey. The lads refused a treat of the cans in thanks from my bag. Ah, well!

But I wanted to make a start on this blog, which I did. I got in the flat, had a wee-wee, got the kettle on, got my trousers off, cut up, and cubed some potatoes to do in the oven. After an hour or so, the floor chime burst forth again…

To my utter surprise, it was the Evening Carer Nichola… no, sorry, Natalie. My inner clock had gone all pear-shaped with the visit to the clinic. After she’s been here a few minutes, I realised that I had no trousers on!

I apologised hastily when I realised; it must have been a terrible sight for her. We managed a laugh about it, but I felt awful and openly cursed Dementia Doreen! Embarrassment, shame, self-loathing and feeling an almighty, right a proper twit, all flourished!

Worked on this blog. (I did get it finished) I’ll do this in the morning (Now). I was up late, and when I realised it was gone midnight, I was getting fed up with myself.

I concentrated on getting some much-needed food and made myself a quick meal. A can of the wonderful-tasting Morrison’s saver chilli con carnie and some potato cubes did them in the oven, to crisp them a little. A simple and cracking meal! It could have been because I was ravenous and tired and frustrated. I added only liquid salt and a splash of Worcester sauce and vinegar for the potatoes. I gave this effort a mammoth flavour rating of 9.2/10! Really enjoyed it!

The mess that I made making the potatoes, and doing the washing up, soon brought me back down to earth. Hehehe!

Review of the Day – In Odes

Sweet Morpheus didn’t allow me much sleeping…
Throughout the night, I would wake up jumping!
But I did remember, today, the EENT hospital visiting…
The best session for weeks, the ablutioning…
The Porcelain Throne visit was messy and paining…
I forgot to unlock the door; the Carer couldn’t get in…

A stubbed toe fell over the airer, got entangled within,
Sock-Glide-Glenda left me with cuts, bruises, hands and shin!
Emptied my jacket, things fell out, on the floor dropping…
The inner lining had apparently been rotting!

Took me hours to sort another coat out,
And swap things around the pockets…
Got it sorted and dressed to look smart…
Almost forgot to put the drops in the eye sockets…

Then the ambulance arrived, and I was soon in…
Thanks, to them, for to the hospital were driving…
The receptionist, I could not hear talking…
Some advised me of what they were saying…
Then to another waiting room, I was soon going…

First examination in-depth, the lady was engaging…
Back to the waiting room, results awaiting…
Got the okay, then moved to another area of seating…
Had a chat with a lady who was fortysomething…

The second exam, even deeper, by a lady appealing…
Eye drops were applied, and my head was reeling…
Back to the waiting room, I did some earwigging…
Awaiting being called back for assessing…

More tests on a machine and blinking…
I smiled and gave the lady some blinking…
But I didn’t get any return acknowledging…

To the Main Reception, to get a lift home, I was pleased!
But Dementia Doreen sent the memory adrift…
I got lost en route; I panicked and wheezed…
Felt a fool, ashamed and almost had a tift!

Found the reception, a stranger helped translate,
Sit in that chair (pointing) and for your transport wait…
So I did and didn’t have long to wait…
A driver came, said, follow me, mate…

I tried to follow him, but he walking relatively swift…
Chasing after him gave me a glift, boy, could he shift…
I lost him and got a bit miffed…
Panicked a bit and gave a little snift…
But found him outside, looking a bit squiffed…

Got home and lost all sense of timing…
The mind felt like it was abseiling…
Took my clothes off, nice and cooling,
Started with the day’s blogging…
Along came the evening Carer; I was welcoming…
Until I realised I had no trousers on, and started scaring!
Felt like an idiot, started self-caterwauling,
Embarrassed, ashamed, frustrating!

Well gone midnight got some nosh cooking,
Canned chill and potatoes, no casseroling,
Then turned my attention to sleeping…
Dreamed about Jillie and me, canoodling…
I think I started sweating and drooling…
A mortifyingly humiliating day, disconcerting!

The Nottingham Lad’s True Tales of Woe

Inchcocks Photographicalisations, Ode & Diary

Photographicalisations & Diary

♫Fings ain’t wot they used to be…♫

Little did I know the above-written ode would turn out!
I’m worried now; I think I had a memory blank or blackout?
Mistakes n everything I tried to create… a mental wipe-out!
It took me all day to get the blog done, a mind whirlabout…
Problems lasted hours… in fact all day, or thereabout?
Couldn’t get to grips with the day, time, everything, a doubt?
I had to keep stopping when the brain went on a gadabout…

Cataracts and glaucoma made things worse…
The noisy, clang-banging Herbert above made me curse…
Went to the Porcelain Throne; the evacuation was vicious,
Rock-solid: it took me half an hour; this is not fictitious!
It felt about the same size as a trolleybus!
One aspect was not painful or scary; quite the reverse…
Painful, yes, but no bleeding from the rear end, thus…
Washed and did the Germoloid creaming. Oh, that soothes!

From Grammarly, mistakes of all sorts, I was being told,
But I pressed on, which I thought was rather bold…
Dizzy Dennis joined me; Herberts’ noises could still be heard,
Why do I feel so bad could still not be answered,

So what I’m waffling on about…
I did my best, but without any doubt…
Faults mistakes you’ll quickly pick out…
Dates and times mostly, serious and nowt…
From start to finish, throughout…
I suppose this Ode is a criticism redoubt!

I can’t really put a date as such,
The photos, taken over 2½ days,
It may be mixed up datewise in a rush…
To get this blog done… with my mind in a haze,
I dun me bestest, please don’t underpraise…

I’m depressed and in pain, in many ways,
I really have had much betterer days and praise…
The coming of tomorrow and better days,
I’m hoping the confusion doesn’t overstay…
And depression finally breaks away!

Forgive any duplicated photos put in,
With wrong dates & times, I know it’s a sin!
The ailments are bothering me out and within,
My hopes for improvement are relatively thin…
Good job that I don’t drink, or I’d have a gin!.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Photographs & minimal Memories

By Jimminee, and jolly good heavens above, what an absolute improvement on yesterday’s sphygmomanometerisationing for the level of blood pressure! Comparing it to Thursdays, nerve-wracking 285 Sys!

It tumbled down to 148, and very welcome it was to see it!

The pulse had dropped as well.

 

Another good result from the thermometer.

It was a dead-on target at 35°c.

I think I was; I had a losing battle against Sock-Glide Glenda again in the wet room. SGG 3 – Inchie 0! It all happened so quickly. Having completed getting the socks on, I was, with only one tiny bruise on the foot, and as I stepped over the frame to grip Glenda to remove her… And seconds later, I was on the deck, entangled in her framework! With a bruise that anyone would be proud of on my shoulder. But then…

Getting up back to my feet (bear in mind I had not got any glasses on at the time). I lunged at the grab-rail to assist my getting up… and missed it entirely! I then had a new bruise to add to the shoulder and wrist ones on my flabby belly as I went back down again and made a painful connection with Sock-Glide-Glenda… again! A few scratches as well, but they are pretty. The Carer said so when she came. She was well impressed with the shoulder bruise. But her favourite was the blotch come bruise on my left man-breast nipple; she was very keen on the pinkness and swelling. Hahaha!

The Iceland food arrived. I’m sure I’ve put all these on before, but it won’t hurt for anyone who may order beef chunks from Iceland to see the photographs of the three packs I bought again. They were all within the sell-by date, too!

On Special offer, I just looked at this close up of the red and khaki coloured lumps they’d sent! It was the same or similar colouring? It reminded me of the only time I’ve seen horsemeat served.

The JS Sainsbury delivery. In the centre of this picture, on the right, you’ll see three tiny sourdough cobs that cost more than the milk roll bread. Talk about hard! Gawd, blimey, they were 80% crust. Did my teeth no good. But I ate what I could salvage from the concrete balls of sourdough later on? 

The ‘Best’ potatoes all had growths of bruises on them.

Can’t recall what night I made this meal. But I can remember enjoying it pretty well. The fishcakes with peas in them were tasty enough, the potato waffles were terrible, as were the fish fingers, all vegetarian. The tomatoes tasted excellent, cake and banana, but the vegan cakes cost more money. The potatoes and peas were disappointing. Taste Rating: 6.5/10.

I think I’ve shown this photo, but I am not sure. Sourdough bread, the Polish style one, mushroom pate and tomatoes, a soft imitation cheese portion, were almost as bad as the cakes. But that bread and pate. Was gorgeous.

.

Mike Fries: A good looking, Mafia-type, $23 million wage earner – no, I’ll take that back, he is not an earner to me.
But, I admire his cunningness in convincing his paymasters at Liberty-Global, to pay out $15 billion to buy out Mr Branson’s Virgin Media. Then instructing the UK telecom call-centre team, never to mention Liberty-Global to any customers? Thus, Mike Fries cannot get his $15b internet service to run for a day without going down several times – and Richard Branson gets all the name-calling and abuse. (He’s clever, you know!)

I imagine that if any proletariat call-centre person was caught mentioning the name Liberty-Global to any poor Virgin Media customers… The least they would come away with would be getting knee-capped & sacked?

He’s a Smoke & Mirrors expert. A figure-conjurer of the highest order. The bosses at the top get the complete treatment from his financial sleight of hand and legerdemain skills. They likely actually are being convinced by Fries of the competency of Virgin Media? Which, of course, does not exist.

There’ll be some financial hocus-pocus going on that convinces the top dogs of his profit-making for them, even if only on paper, so’s to speak. It’ll be out of my league!

I believe his flimflam, hanky-panky, and double-dealings will never be caught. So effective are his smoke & mirrors techniques.

This is a shame because despite wishing him a slow, excruciatingly painful death for his cheating ways and knackering me up every day with his Virgin internet repeatedly failing.

I like his style.

I’m jealous probably. Hahaha!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Evening Carer’s just called. Another new gal, pleasant enough with me. I insisted she had some treats, a nibble and a drinkie for putting up with my constant moaning about life. Hehehe!

It’s late now; I’m ready for summat to eat and a kip. I’ve got some spuds baking, pod plead in the saucepan, and a veggie pastie to add to the potatoes if I don’t fall to sleep first. I’ll try to get this finished in the morning.

I’d like to stay awake long enough to get some sunset shots. If Colin Cramps visits again when I get down, I should at least get the sunset photo’d if no sleep. Har-Har!

As I was going to have a check on the fodder cooking, I heard a clattering noise from the room I’d just left. I went back to investigate…

The new giant faux-fur brown throw had somehow or other, slid off of the £300, c1968, second-hand, decrepit, rickety recliner, taking to the floor with it: my Wood-Waking-Stick-Walter, Picker-Upperer-Percival, Shoe-Horn-Horis,  a towel, two pairs of trousers, a pot of Cheeselets, two bottles of spring water, and two cushions! Harrumph!

I got things sorted things out again. And then went back to the kitchen to get the meal prepped and served up. No sunset as such, but the view was eerily misty, enough for me to take a snap.

photographicalisation. Served up the fodder. Two veggie pasties, two potatoes baked, halved and plant butter added. fresh garden peas and tomatoes. A banana and pot of dessert. Taste Rating: 7.8/10.

I got sorted and down to try and stay awake long enough to watch my first episode of Grimm. It started at 22:00hrs, which is too late for me normally. I remember checking the schedule, and it was 15 minutes before Grimm started on the same channel… and thinking at last I’ll get to watch it… Of course, Sweet Morpheus got me, and off to kip, I went before seeing the program start!

I woke a few hours later, a selling channel was on then. I rose for a wee-wee and needed the Porcelain Throne as I was on my way to the wet room.

Rock-solid again! A good hour I was in there, going through pain and having to make it worse by giving my best supportive efforts to constantly edge the concrete torpedo out from the rear end. Gawd it felt good afterwards, though!

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Inchcock Today: Friday & Saturday

Frustrating Friday & Super Saturday

Ode wot I wrote on Saturday

What bits I can remember,
Are we still in December?
I’m feeling slow and dumber…
Indeed, the body is getting plumper…

I’m out of my comfort zone…
Yet, to joyfulness, I’m prone?
Nowt’s changed, still home alone?
Gone deaf, can’t hear the phone!
Eyesight bad, moan, moan, moan!
Can it be due to my testosterone?
The computer is like a battle zone!
And I can’t find my mobile phone!

I still feel unbothered, most macabre?
Constantly talking to myself, jibber-jabber!
Had no drink, I should be sober!
Memory Maureen failing… whencever,
Is it the Hemp, Simvastatin, whatever?

I spent 8+ hours on the snippet blog new,
Endless mistakes, all needing a review…
The night Carer arrived, she had the blues…
I’d not planned food… sausage or a stew?
Still upbeat… I asked her for a pas de deux!
She replied: ‘You know what you can do!”

I finished the new blog; it was mostly crime…
Then again, Nottingham’s news is all the time!
Got a meal late, morning time, but that’s fine!
Got around to doing this blog’s design…
The notepad… I just couldn’t find!

Saturday
I can only blame Dementia Doreen…
Cocking things up, behind the scene…
The computers got a wobbly screen!
Cartilage Cathies pain… I want to scream…
Yet things are going like a dream?
Well, no! So many cock-ups, unforeseen,
Dropped and broke, my little green tureen!
New pains arrive around the spleen…
Laundry returned, more creased than it’s ever been!
Yet I’m singing to myself? It’s almost obscene!
Cataracts! I can hardly see the flatscreen!
I’m losing it… is life just a smokescreen?
I was unbothered, almost contented, serene?
I’m as lackadaisical as a circumforanean…
I’m clinging onto semi-sanity, it would seem?
I blame Dementia Doreen, I deem!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Friday

What Bits I Can Recall

Well, I’ve found page one of the reminder notes. I’m so unbothered at the moment, still don’t know why I feel this way or how long it will be before the Dracula Depression returns. What’s going on here? Have I been given a ‘Happy Pill’ or something? It seems yesterdays ‘Couldn’t-care-less’ scenario is still with me?

The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies. Worry and confuse me! Searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare… No, it’ll be down to Doreen’s Dementia! I can only put it down to the mysteries of Winwood Heights.

Luckily, I’d been taking many photographs, and even luckier, I managed after a frustrating battle with the computer’s SD card reader and got them loaded to use here. Although some of them I can’t remember taking.

That’s another thing, why am I not bothered about this! Surely I should be?

This is not, or is it, from Friday cause I seem to recall that the red van-man was parked back in his favourite illegal position on the chevrons? A good start, that is! Hey-Ho! I vaguely remember going onto the balcony to take this photograph, obviously using the Fuji camera, because of its shape, of the end car park… but no, on second thoughts, another cock-up I’ve made.

Not sure as to why I took this shot of the computer desk in the dark. I know I was having troubles uploading the photos, and the icons had all changed size of their own accord? Harrumphs!

Annoyingly and frustratingly, I’d mentioned much in the notes I found to trigger any memories. Tsk! Total blank, but I’m sure it was Helen! I think it was Carer Helen who called in the morning.

I think I got the icons back up, but not to what size they were; they are mentioned in the notes. As if the farce with trying to get the photos loaded from the card, and my giving up on the job. (I tried again in the morning and got the on! Yee-Haa! There was a lot of scribble concerning me making tea and dropping the mug, but catching it before it hit the floor and getting my fingers scolded a little. Hehe! I wondered why they hurt a smidgeon this morning; now I know.

I took a shot of the morning skyline, and, according to the notes, I thought it was beautiful despite the gag colouring?

The more exciting thing was as I was closing the window’s door, I inadvertently caught the button on the Fuji camera and took a shot through the bottom glass. Hahaha! It came out better than any photo taken.

A mention of kicking off early with the clattering and tap-tapping was read. How I could have heard it with the state of my era-holes is surprising. It must have been loud?

SYS 158, DIA 69, Pulse 95 and the body temperature was 34.5°c.

Made an order for J Sainsbury’s for next weekend. And ordered some t-shirts and something else… I’ll have a look to see what it was… Ah, pyjama bottoms.

Out of memory notes now. Good job too. I took some photos. I definitely can remember making up the Local News Snippets block; a scribble on the bottom of the one-sheet left indicated 8 hours, but carried onto the missing sheets; I think that is how long I was doing them!

I found another mystery photo I cannot recall taking, let alone why? However, the computer is not on. (See that? How quick I was to notice that? Hahaha!) It looks like it’s teatime ish, cause the lights going. It might have been when I gave up on blogging. Or not, maybe, perhaps, possibly…

I can recall a little later taking some pictures of the early sunsetting. Boy, did these take some sorting in the morning to get on here. However, just about worth the effort, although not brilliant at all. I think I took them over ten minutes while cooking the belated nosh.

Then eventually, I got the meal served up. It doesn’t look much appearance-wise, but I did enjoy this vegetarian effort for a change. Baked potatoes with butter, a leek onion and something else, I forget what it was now… ah, potato pie. Tomatoes and fresh garden peas. I can remember them cause I left them in the pan when I was about to start eating the meal. So went back and salvaged them. Put them on the plate and took this snap. Flavour Rating: 7.2/10, methinks.

As I went into the kitchenette to wash up, I was greeted by the now really beautiful sunsetting!

I hastened to get the Canon camera, and I returned to take these pictures of it.

Glad I caught this.

I washed the pots and stove and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, second-hand, c1968, Charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner.

The Thought-Storm thundered into action as soon as I got my feet up. Yet whatever it was that was making so content and unannoyable today were still at it. And I just put the TV on to watch a murder documentary, and at first, no, the second set of averts… Zzz!

Saturday

Ode To The Saturday Blues

Enough of this mad scriptitation…
Nobody reads it much in the entire nation…
It’s turning me to zombification…
Though, I feel it is my vocation…
My mind’s losing its location…
Sometimes, it’s a mental violation,
Turning my brains into vegetation!
I’m going bonkers… I need no verification…
My sanity needs another health evaluation,
Mayhaps, a cannabis vaccination?
Or, a trip to the seaside, on vacation?
I really need a cataracts diagnostician…
Psychiatrist, urologist and an acoustician,
I’m in desperate need of a mortician,
Or someone to explain; mankind’s declension?
Oh! I need the Porcelain Thrones’ attention…

I woke with a double whammy of ailments; I think that’s what woke me up. Still, it made a nice change from being woken up by Arthur Itis, Cathy Cartilage, Anne Gyna or Duodenal Donald. And plus as well, they both claimed down within a few minutes! Oh, I forgot to tell what they were, Tsk!

I’d got the camera nearby, so I took a one-handed snap of it – Clever stuff! Well, alright, it wasn’t clever then! Hehehe! I’d got Colin Cramps distorting my right-hand something wicked.

Oh, Dearie me! The Blood Pressure was well up this morning. The body temperature was still low. SYS 169, Dia 73 and Pulse at 90. But was I bovvered? Nope! This feeling that lingering… it must be what it feels like when on dope? Har-Har!

I had three goes at stringing the ear-holes again today. But still used the olive oil in between. I fear it’s not helped an iota with the hearing, Tsk! Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t get to me?

He was on form today. Considering that there will have been many noises I didn’t hear, there were dozens of times I did hear him due to my wax build-up. He’s consistent; I’ll give him that. He’s also an

Carer Helen Did the morning call. Ah! I remember she’d brought the washed laundry back for me. I found it all screwed up again, crammed into the bag! I think I might as well ask cleaner Esther to do the washing; she folds the clothes for me, saves ironing, and uses the freshener and softener supplied. I’m not blaming Helen at all, whoever it was that took the washing out of the dryer, should be spoken to nicely, and asked if she could fold the clothes for me, in future, please. This still irritated me even in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately.

I worked on this blog between wee-wees (Hahaha!)  I checked on the Amazon tracker to see if the hats and jammie-bottoms would be coming tomorrow, as it said on the site when I ordered them.

Bobble hats coming tomorrow, T-Shirts on the 9th or 20th, and the much-needed jammie-bottoms on Monday (the 7th, I think). Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t irk me?

Got some photos to upload, but many of them were not recognised by the card reader? Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t irk me?

Off to the Porcelain Throne. The past three days of rock-hard torpedoes have changed overnight to rock-hard peanuts in a melange of running liquid and mucus based discharge. Unbelievable! And it still hurt to pass that? Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t bother me.

My tea-belly had returned! Got the ‘Snippets’ blog finished off and posted it. Then worked on this double-diary blog for many hours; I just pressed on with it, continuing to make errors, mistakes and forever making a brew of Glengettie, Thompsons Punjana and Sainsbury’s Extra-Strong tea in that order throughout the rest of the day.

As it got nearer to 18:00hrs, I kept the curtains open so that in case the sunset was pretty again, I would get some photographs of it, again. Which I did! Hehe! And boy, was it gorgeous tonight!

Sunset

I took these pictures over about 15 minutes from the kitchenette window. Gorgeous!

I nipped into the wet room to get some more bleach for when I’d made a mess cooking the meal later…

Boy, did I clout Cathy Cartilages’ knee on the doorframe, coming out… Yes, I did! It hurt! A suitable synonym would be ‘ARGH! I thought I’d seek some sympathy from the ladies out there, so I took a photo of the offending knee cap, intending to inspire compassion from the ladies, but it came out wrong. I expected the picture to show how painful, swollen and bruised the knee looked… But, No! Despite the agony, I can’t see any damage to it at all? Another plan foiled… Haha! Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t agitate me?

I’d forgotten about the evening Carers’ visit. Whatta-plonka! Time to get the fodder sorted, I thought.

♫ The Oh, Susan ♫ tune chimed out, and in walked my evening Carer. It was Chloe. I knew what her name was, the very moment she answered me when I asked her what it was. Ahem! I meant to ask her if I could take her picture to use on the blog, but puddle-brain here forgot to! She was a pleasant gal, not pushy, and after sorting the medications out, she gave me a minute or two natterings. Treats were chosen, and off Chloe went, taking the waste bag with her to the chute; I thank you! A Sociable Carer like Chloe is always welcomed. Bless her.

Worked on the blog, then got the nosh sorted out. Cut up a selection of orange, yellow and black Natoora tomatoes and got some of the Squid (anchovy) vinegar on them; I wasn’t sparing!

End up with this meal served up. Potato cakes (Seasoned), fresh garden peas, tomatoes and a beef pastie. I got tucked into it but did not enjoy it as I should have. I may have been a little too tired?

Gone midnight again before I got my head down, and the jumping awakes were back with me. Grumph!

Good Evening!

Inchcock

Inchcocks Local News Snippets in Odes – Issue 4⅜

Nor Human Traffickers!

Local News Snippets in Odes – Issue 4⅜

What do you think has caused this stabbing?
The first thing that comes to mind involves drug taking,
Perhaps it could be protection racketeering?
Lot’s of affluent students in Nottingham educating?
Of course, with kids, there’ll be sex rampaging,
And students getting drunk, meths drinking?
Which is more interesting than wordsmithing!
No doubt greed, jealousy, drugs or loathing!

They say it’s the twelfth fire on this estate…
The third in two months, a dodgy state,
Most on sites involving freight…
Or waste, recycling bases, what does this connotate?
I’ll let you know if I find out owt at a later date…

The gal had been taking drugs into prison, for hubby,
Well, they are not married; they met at a drugs orgy,
Making the prisoner an awful lot of money…
Well, for highs, they both have an affinity…
The Judge showed a lot of affability…
‘Go home and give your children a big kiss?
That sounds a bit naughty and cheeky?
From a Judge? What the hell is this?
I don’t want to sound finicky…
Does he want her to supply him cocaine or a kiss?
Mayhaps on the day the Judge was tipsy?

Just to show you how I’m keeping up with my usual luck in the gambling stakes. Humph!

Well, another Constabulary mystery?
Whatever has occurred? Was it unsightly?
Something vicious, frighteningly?
Eight police vehicles attended… Getaway!
Murder, terrorists or? What unpleasantry?

Bank robbers hiding? A car with no MOT?
Folks signing into their own homes to have a brew of tea?
One more police car, and there’ll be none free!
Trouble at Mill here, I can see!

I read these figures apprehensively…
I sense a Government con here; we’ll see…
Corona Virus, all about money, money…
They’ve upped tax, food prices, and to me…
That’s what they wanted to do, disagreeably!
Help kill off the NHS… do you agree?
There are more folks with the virus around me…
Grenfell, why’s no one been punished, Lordy Me!
Tories get voted in again! They get off scot-free?
Disgusting! Absobloodylutely!

Her killer doesn’t want to be involved in the inquest of his wife, who he murdered? But you would like to know the outcome?

And he’ll be Freed to Kill Again. I guarantee it! Knowing our Parole Board pillocks!

Scumballs!

I think that Lucifer is winning.

What’s the plan, God? Got any?

Pathetic PC sentencing here, methinks?
The legal system, I believe, stinks!
Scared to death of sentencing Muslims?
I can understand that; I come from the slums…
The future scares me…
From terrorism, gangs and every bent MP,
Today’s youngsters will never be free!

At least he only threatened to kill!

That’s the spirit, Judge. Lock ’em up! Seven years equates to about three methinks. With good behaviour?

A Cruel Tax!

I am so delighted to report on this sentence.

A jury of six men and six women took two-and-a-half hours to return a unanimous guilty verdict of manslaughter on Lawson Byrd, who deliberately caused the death of 19-year-old Gianne Obafial.
But they cleared him of the more severe charge of murder. During a two-week trial, Crown Court heard how the defendant, also 19, drove at and then over Mr Obafial in Mercian Way and headed off up Abbey Street.
Giving evidence, Byrd claimed he had no intention of causing the fatal injuries his victim received. Instead, he told a jury he “panicked” after seeing ” a glimmer of metal” in the waistband of Mr Obafial’s trousers and thought it was a knife.

BOLLOCKS! If that had been true, he could have got back in his murder weapon and driven off! Judge Shaun Smith QC said: “Mr Byrd, you have been found guilty and criminally responsible for the death of Mr Obafial, but they have decided you did not intend to kill him or cause him really serious injury. The bullying toss-ball was sentenced to jail for 12 years for manslaughter.

Convicted murderers have got less. I’m tickled pink!

See what I meant above?

Spotted this on Facebook

Interestingly, I spotted the Meridian logo on his uniform. The same company that Nottingham Council uses and tend to my needs. There’s no getting bored with them. In the two months that I’ve been using them, they have failed to turn up six times. Twice coming after midday, which meant it was too late for me to take my medications… in case the evening Carer came. Hehehe! 

On two occasions, they came late but early enough to allow me to take the prescriptions. My trouble… one of many, is having Vascular Dementia, and some days, I don’t realise if they are late, and my mind wanders off. Sad, but true! If someone was to contact me and let me know what’s going off, it would help. The other two times, no one came for the morning visit at all. I often wonder if I am being charged for it? However, and notwithstanding…

The Caring Industry is like the Security Guarding was when I worked for them. Under-staffed, underpaid, and so hectic you wouldn’t believe it! So, I can relate to the branch managers and the staffs’ frustrations. People not turning up and informing you ten minutes before their shift starts, and not showing at all! The good Carers are precious but have to cover all the time for a few. Just the same with the Guards. I have some really caring Carers who call on me, so patient and understanding. The industries are so competitive, with so many available, but none can be 100% reliable. What can they do? Charging more, thus paying higher wages, is a no-no for growth. Sacking bad time-keepers would be a pleasure for some managers, I know… but things would be worse then!

So, I have empathy and understanding of these problems. But that does not offer a solution, does it? Shame!

Luckily, I no longer have to struggle with those problems… nowadays I work to walk, do the ablutions, control my dementia, the eyesight failing with glaucoma, cataracts, and saccades all to be treated with a prospective up to 43 weeks to wait for the first

cataract to be done, the wait again for the other eye to be done. Hopefully, they will be using the Phacoemulsification method. I pray they might do both eyes lens replacements at the same time.

Then, glaucoma in both eyes as well needs to be sorted. (Eye drops only, I think?) Then the saccades in the right eye.

I’ll be getting my telegram from the Queen or King by the time I get around to having all these done and get to have an eye test done to get new lenses from the optician!

You can bet the dentist, DVT, or Cardiac appointments will come when I’m having the eyes done. That happened when I had the stroke; I went back to the bottom of the list. Hehehe!

I’ll just press blindly on!

The Nottingham Lads News Snippets in Ode

Inchcock Today: Cheesy Potatoes Made!

The highlight of the day. At long last, after several months, I took a risky chance and made some cheesy baked potatoes! I’d missed these for so long, I risked it. The last two days, the nerve-end failures had much fewer. Glad I did now, and I got away with it! Aware of the dangers that Peripheral Neuropathy Pete may impose on me…

Awakening, after the fifth horrible nights’ sleep, the urge for a mug of Glengettie was irresistible. I hobbled into the kitchenette with Metal Mickey and got the kettle on; the dim view had beauty to it, so I fetched the ‘on-its-last-legs’ Canon camera. Took a shot…

I’m lucky to have such a panoramic view,
Most times, the outcoming photo will do,
Today the Peripheral Neuropathy was on cue,
I got a decent photo, of the sky, with a purple-blue hue,
I was feeling in reasonably good knick, too!

Made the tea, good enough for me,
Later, the ablutions, well I needed a pee,
Little Inchies fungal lesion was bleeding free…
So I did the ablutioning, shaving carefully…
Amount if cuts none, although tiny nicks, three,
Nasal spray, eye drops, cleaned the lesion… yucky!
Medicated, dressed, it was a bit of a malarkey…
Finished the jobs, sanitarily…
Along came the Iceland delivery!

I soon got them in and into the kitchenette. The potatoes they had delivered actually looked fresh. So, I selected three large ones to use for the cheesy potatoes.

Put the three spuds in the oven…

Got the rest of the food put away…

Again, they had no Leicester Cheese, shame, but they substituted some imitation extra-strong cheddar, so at least I could make the cheesy pots up in a while.

The door chime rang out its ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune. It was Josie to tell me she’d just had a call from her Niece, who is going to take her out for a meal today. Bit of a disappointment…

I’d just added the mushrooms, tomatoes and chestnuts to Josie’s stew on the stove hob as well! Humph! Never mind, I said she could have it tomorrow. She seemed happy enough with that.

The Carer arrived, the same gal as yesterday. So no humour or nattering. She took the waste bag with her, though. A tablet short in the pot she provided. A Beta Blocker or Codeine. I assumed I’d dropped it; she got another one.

I carried on with prepping the fodder. I got on with getting Josie’s chilli ready in between.

Got the pots out of the oven and the cheese, sauces, BBQ seasoning, vinegar, BBQ sea salt, and bin nearby. Ready to scrape out the flesh from the tubers into the basin to bash the hell out of them with the seasonings added…

Which went amazingly well, no shakes, nerve-end didn’t go off, and only one tiny nick on the finger. No dropping of anything at all… oh, yes, I did drop the BBQ seasoning pot; don’t know I forgot that, cause it landed on my left foot and rolled to the end of the kitchen. I took a snap of it below.

I set the timer, took it to the computer, and worked on the  ‘Why’ blog. I soon needed the Porcelain Throne, so off I trundled to the wet room. All went well. Washed and out to check on the spuds in the kitchenette oven (That’s where they were, Hahaha!).

The peas were ready, so I got them on the plate with the sliced yellow tomatoes.

Sister Jane rang, and we had a chinwagging session.

Got the spuds out; I must say they looked good to me. Then, as the plate and tray layout progressed, I was impressed with my culinary performance today… Smug-Mode-Adopted!

By gum, it was grand!

Individual content ratings:
Cheesy Baked Potatoes – 9/10
Yellow Tomatoes – 8/10
Garden Peas – 9/10
Beef Pastie – 8/10

I spent many hours on the odeing for the blog. Visited Facebook WordPress Reader and had t nip to the wet room again, for the low point of the day – Little Inchies fungal lesion had been bleeding yet again. I’d not noticed earlier with the excitement of getting a cheesy potatoes meal made without any severe hassle, finding it tasted so good and talking with Jane, that the blood had congealed with the Protection Pants. (A memory, something I had to do or something like that just fluttered into my head, then left?

So I was in the wet room for an awfully long time, cleaning and medicating. And this is the most painful of all of the ailments to medicate. I’d like to shout ‘Argh!’ But I won’t, I did a bit of that at the time. Hahaha! But today was still a better than usual one, and a Sunday too; usually not a lucky day. Although, I reserve the right to change my mind if it starts bleeding again. Hehe!

I was feeling a bit tired now, so I sat down with a water bottle and turned on the TV. Fell asleep for a couple of hours and was woken by the evening Carer coming early (Not that it matters). On to the Computerisationing again.

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP: HERBERT

22:20hrs: Sounds like a vacuum, droning noises from above. (Not from Herbert, too distant-sounding) If I can hear it sufficiently to keep me awake, I feel sorry for anyone with decent hearing trying to get off to sleep! I think it got to Herbert above me because he started tapping and banging then. Kept it up on and off until nearly midnight!

If you don’t mind, a few words being spoken to you?
My mind wandered a little then, fretting and with Deja Vous…
Because getting to sleep, I just couldn’t do…
The droning noise’s sound got louder, persistent they grew!

The Thought Storms kicked off, as they tend to…
The eyes, the left knees arthritis, appointments overdue,
Silly thoughts, like should I give my testicles a shampoo?
Sleep was unavailable, so do I have a shower. or catch the flu…
Turn the TV on? Get something to eat? That sounded neat,
Yes, I was going a smidgeon barmy, yes, it must be true…
I nodded off, and after an hour of kip… I woke in a mind-stew!
I waddled to the Porcelain Throne, messy job, Oh, the phoo!

Then Carer Richard arrived, the medications to sort and do…
Brought me two postage packets; I said thanks, bless you!
Issued the medications, and before he said his Depardieu…
We had a little natter, or a few…
I told Richard of last nights noisy hullabaloo…
That ensured me no sleep, and hitherto…
It must have been loud; I heard it too…

In seconds, Richard had worked it through…
Gale force winds had all night long blew…
As it happens, they are still blowing now, too!
I thanked him for settling the mystery issue…
Slipped him some treats, as he said his adieu!

Richard to the rescue again!

Part of the Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock: Local News Snippets in Ode

This week the News Snippets are reported, recorded and commented on, by The Nottingham Pensioner Lad, Inchcock (89).

Alto-Ego Inchy: I apologise for the Odeing included in the comments. But the lad has had minimal education. Now, with him contracting Vascular Dementia, as well as various other ailments; Hearing aids, mechanical ticker fitted, Glaucoma, Saccades, Cataracts, Stroke, Peripheral Neuropathy. His tendency to either waffle on, lose the plot or regularly forgets what he was doing, where he is, or where he was going; does not make for readable poetry. But there’s no stopping him. He only sulks when I point out these and other failings to him. Sorry.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Well, this looks good,
Be happy surely we should?
Read the next one and chew the cud!
Your interpretation will go down with a thud!

I’m aware of how they feel, every patient,
I’m waiting on may a medical appointment,
Dentist, Chiropodist, Doctors yearly check…
That’s been a wait of three years, by, heck!
Audio, DVT and Cardiac…
Then the operation on the cataracts,
Glaucoma and Saccades and the Diabetes in fact…
Will I live long enough to get my treatments?

Sozzled, drugged up, and a man with a violent bent,
But will there be a return to prison requirement?
Easier for him to get drugs in there for his sustainment?
Maybe they’ll offer him some mental treatment?
Tell him sorry if this is inconvenient…
Give him some cocaine and pay his rent?

Run of the mill stuff, for the Nottingham creed,
I understand that he was a gynaecologist,
Nothing suspicious, the chap wasn’t a druggist…
Police won’t look too far into this…
With nine officers attacked and on the sick list!

The Police and I…
Have no idea why,
So sorry the lad had to die…
RIP son… It makes you cry!

No matter why – Animals!

All this violence, drugs, gangs, I comprehend?
Slave importers, youths will re-offend…
No deterrent do the courts send…
Viciousness threatens, it’s today trend…
And I think it will only worsen!
A judge was I thought the only person…
Who could, these crimes amend…
But no, so I’m scared and disheartened!.

Self-Centred Scum!

Well, this is interesting news for Sherwood…
A 48% increase in crime figures, should…
make my blood boil, make me angry and rude!
I’m not surprised, I’ve not seen a policeman since May!
Didn’t even see one on Tuesday…
Plenty of yobboes lurking…
Don’t suppose they are working?
I just pray they don’t mug me today!.


Raliegh, John Players, Debenhams, Topshop, Oasis, WH Smith, Burton & Dorothy Perkins, River Island, Banks closing down, Virgin Media sold to Liberty Global and has been ruined by them, Macintoshes, Rowntrees, Frys, Cadburys all sold to Nestles…

But fret not, we have 14 new takeaway shops opened… even though 12 went bankrupt in the last year?

Well, looking at my arm that’s encouraging.

So, basically, she’s got 25 days, what an hour a session? Going to some Community Centre; probably gets a free meal, and she can do some drug trading at the same time. I assume that courts will be providing her with a taxi both ways?

Inchcock’s Local News Snippets in Ode

COVID-19: Events cancelled this weekend – Plus Local News Snippets

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Nottingham Latest Corona Figures

Getting bad again, people dying, others in pain,
Those who moan about a lockdown again…
Others worried; what will a lockdown gain?
Well, it might just prevent some folks from death and pain!
Has compassion and caring… has gone down the drain?

We can’t stay in our homes forever’ say residents in one of Nottinghamshire’s most vaccinated areas

Ed Cleator, 42, who works as a product manager, lives in Tollerton – and he told Nottinghamshire Live that getting the vaccination was the best thing to do. “We can’t all hide, we can’t all stay in our homes forever so you’ve got to do something – that is the best thing to do for everybody,” said Mr Cleator.

I agree with his wanting folk to get vaccinated – even if it’s all a worldwide con by pharmaceutical companies to make money, or Governments to increase taxes without much resistance, or part of Tony Blair’s ploy to get back into number ten! Maybe even an undeclared invasion plot by the planet Omnicronski?

However, despite the Conspiracy Theorists, who march en masse without wearing masks and demand not to be forced to put on a facemask in shops… well, anywhere really, people are still dying.

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LOCAL NEWS SNIPPETS

What’s with all the gun-crazy youths nowadays?
I see little incentive to give them praise,
Mayhaps they are scared, to get their takeaways…
Cause the other spotty-faced youths and tearaways…
Might also have guns, used in the shadows and subways?
Though now they use them in shops and on highways…
My hopes for the future beings, it just dismays!

Nottingham Police Alert!

The Nottingham Police seem to have failed to notice the odd printing on this Alert. These are the people we trust to catch criminals, be alert themselves, investigate murders, robberies, muggings, shoplifting etc. every day in my City.

Worrying, innit?

Off fog-off! Hehe!

Hope they’ve not been defanged!

Needle Spikings?