Inchcock: Friday 5th Aug 22 – Diary & Odes

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Inchcock’s Waffling No: 23⅒th
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06:50hrs. What a sleep that was at last. Ready for this… Six-Hours! Grrreat! The ankle ulcer had come up overnight and was tingling & stinging a bit. The right foot and leg were more swollen and colourful as well. So, I took this snapshot. I just can’t understand why the Tate Gallery has not noticed the state of my legs and bought my photos.
After six uninterrupted hours of gorgeous sleep, I was not surprised that the wee-wees started flowing and regularly. Each session was followed by after-micturitional leaking. Bit of a nuisance having to wait so long and make sure any extra squirts or leaks had all finished. Still, that’s a fact of life nowadays.

I went into sphygmomanometerisationing mode and got the Health Checks done.

The BP had gone up a smidgeon, but nothing too risky. God results still.
Barely into the red zone, yet again. I don’t know why it has been so good this past month, but I adopted a well-deserved one. How long can this go on? It seems to have settled so well. Fingers crossed that it continues.
I started to do the layout for this template and got a whiff of my B,O., so I decided that as soon the morning Carer has been, I’ll get the ablutioning done. Seconds later, ♫ Oh. Susana ♫ sounded from the door chime.

Came in and got my medications sorted out. Val’s weekly treat of Strawberries had arrived, and I issued them in thanks to Valerie, and off she went – forgetting for the first time ever to take the waste bags with her. I was rushing her a bit so I could get the ablutioning done, though, so, not her fault.

I went into the wet room to clean up my massively overweight bobby body and assorted knick-knacks. But found that the job of cleaning up the wet room floor I did yesterday, I think it was, was of inferior quality. The floor had bits on it, black, that stuck like glue to the surface. Where they came from puzzled me. (As a lot of things tend to do nowadays, Hehe!)  I just about crippled myself getting down and up again so often, after each time, and found I’d missed some. to blame, mayhaps?
By the time I got around to doing any ablutioning, I was well worn out and had some new aches. Hehe! As I started with the teeth cleaning, I had to double check that the scrubbing brush, bleach, mop, and bucket had not been left in my own way in the shower area. So glad I checked, for the bleach was under the shower, and going in there without any glasses on, I might have avoided an !
At long last, a weary and battered Inchy got on with the job in hand. Teggies have already been done, and I got on with the shaving. And only had two tiny nicks in the process. However, I did manage to break one of the new razors, and not a cheap Bic; Oh no! One of the four-bladed ones! How is it a mystery? I don’t think I could break one if I tried to.
The showering went well, apart from clouting my shoulder against the towel rail and starting Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley off. The lower regions, front and rear, were then medicated. The ear holes were olive-oiled. The eye drops were dropped in; well, most of them ended up on the cheek and then ran down into the moustache, turning it into a temporary brown from grey. Little Inchies fungal lesion is the most painful ailment to treat (As usual). Deodorised, dressed, and off to make a brew of Glengettie tea. Noticed the beautiful puffer clouds in view in the sky again. I do love so to see these up there. I tried a bit of pareidoliaing and found two figures in this photograph on the left.

I got some potatoes out, sorted them and got the good ones in the saucepan on a low heat setting. Then realised I had the fresh chips in the fridge with a short use-by-date that needed consuming. Then the dithering started. Shall I have the potatoes and end up wasting the ready-made chips?
I sort of left any decision in the air. I’m good at that, being indecisive, you know? I went to check on the other dates in the fridge but could only manage to decipher a couple of them. Carer Richard was in such a rush yesterday that he forgot to investigate for me. And of course, I forgot to ask him to. Hey-Ho! The lad was worn-out and tired, bless him. I hope he can get a good rest during his break. and does not get called in. He’s due a bit of good luck, and I hope Sweet Morpheus can supply it for the lad.

Later, I felt the stinging from the ankle ulcer and looked at the ankle and legs again. See what’s what with it. It (the ankle ulcer) now looked so much calmer. And yet it was stinging more than before when it was all swollen and glowing?
Beats me. Then again, most things do nowadays.
Back onto CorelDraw to make another Ode that had come into my distorted mind.

Here it is; sorry!

Waffling Ode Number 19⅑th

Cloud Photo of the Year!

Absolutely bootiful!

The Morrison order for Tuesday; that I started yesterday and gave up on when it needed verification and Code numbers from an outside source to log on was annoying. Well, believe it or not, I got a code to use this morning, by text, from the bank??? I used the number and finished the order that was still on site. Two things worry me…❶ I clicked buy now, and another email, confirmation from Morrison’s, told me I had ordered it for next Sunday, not Tuesday. ❷ Have I been hacked, scammed, fiddled, or not? Worried now!

Pressed on with this Ode, I knew I’d get around to it eventually, but not as late as this. Gone eleven o’clock!

03:00hrs: Decided to get something to eat; the blog will have to wait.

Ah, the mushroom pate is not as good as the Sainsbury one, but very lovely. Fresh ready-prepared oven chips, last of bullet-hard beetroot, and tomatoes. Wholemeal cobs, BBQ dip, and for afters: An orange jelly, with squirty low-fat imitation, pretend cream sprayed all over it. Flavour rating; 6.9/10, the chips (fries) let it down.

Got the pot’s washed, and I settled to watch an episode of Kitchen Nightmares. Fell asleep, and the landline burst forth, waking me crudely! I bungled my way out of the c1968 recliner to get to the phone before it stopped; “Hello?” – “Mr Chambers, Gerald?” “Yes, is that Hristina?” And it was my beautiful, beloved Haematology Nurse. I think she said she would be coming to take the blood sample on Monday. She had a clear voice on the phone and seemed impressed that I recognised her voice. A picture of her came into my mind… that’s why I’m not sure if it was Monday or Tuesday she would be calling. I tend to get excited when she calls me.

I resettled in the c1963 recliner, and I started to watch the TV, but I drifted off into a much-needed sleep… Not for long!
♫ Oh, Susana ♫… Joseph, the evening carer, woke me up. His shaky-right leg was going like the clappers tonight when he sat down. Got the medications sorted and gave him his choice of the thank-you treats. (Woo-Woo, I think?) Saw him off and locked the front door.

Got down in the recliner once again, determined to get some sleep… But No! As I was drifting off, I felt the dreaded wet warm sensation in the PPs (Protection Pants). I was certain that I’d had a leak. So, up yet again, and to the wet room to wash and get new PPs on. , It was worse,
So cleaning up and medicationalisationing was needed.

I noticed the glow from the late sun setting and just had to take a photo of it. A misty, unclear, but mood-prompting shot, so I thought.
The body was tired, the mind ready to be switched off, I got down in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, rusty, wobbly-recliner for the umpteenth time.

Up now this Friday, I must have dropped off to sleep, on the insistence of my body & brain, so many times. And every time, someone or thing woke me up. I think this must have confused my already unreliable brain. Cause when I got down in the recliner this time, in search of Sweet Morpheus, it refused to let me drift off! It was hours (and oh, so many wee-wees before I finally got off!

Fed Up? Me? Yes! Hehehe!

Inchcock Today: Short Diary & an Ode

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SATURDAY 23rd JULY 2022

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I rose, mentally weary and physically so tired. Sweet Morpheus has been unkind to me for a few days. Not much sleep at all.

I pottered about, starting many things and drifting merrily off to such others. Not many saw completion or fruition.
I found some photos that were supposed to have gone on yesterday’s blog. Last night’s meal. A veggie dinner and veggie ice cream, not that the brain was clear enough, but I think it was nice and tasty. I gave the memory an 8/10 score. Apart from the beetroot, which tested my loose teeth. Which reminded me, I must remember the Dentist’s visit on Monday!
arrived and sorted out the medications. I noticed when I opened the new bag that some of the same medicines had shorter-dated packs at the bottom of the drawer. Of course, there were only a few that I could read the date on, thanks to the Cataracts. The carer soon got me sorted. Didn’t want any drinkies or nibbles and left leaving the waste bags in the hallway. I didn’t think to ask her to take them; a new gal is not up with the system yet. Nervous and weary, but nice enough, bless her.
It was a bit colder this morning, a lot, in fact.
I took some photographicalisations from the kitchen window.
Then went on the computer – that was it; I spent around eight hours doing odeing and never got around to starting this actual blog!

Had a shower, shave and a sh… well, we’ll leave that bit. Not that it was a bit. A Constipation Konrad controlled session. Firm, painful and in the end, a little bloody, Harold’s Haemorrhoids suffered.

Then realised I’d not done the Health Checks yet. So I did!


Yet again, an overall lower than ever before result! Phenomenal

I started on an Ode for the top of this blog. And it took me hours to get done. Mind-Blanks! Kungleturds! My efforts were accompanied by Herbert’s mechanical and metal cacophony concert.

Nearly tea time now. It won’t be long until the evening carer is due. What happened to the time?

Mind you, every wee-wee was followed by  , and Little Inchies a few times, which cost me a lot of lost time. I’m still tired, is slowing me down now. I’m struggling with using CorelDraw. The keyboard keys blend into each other. Grollocks!

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My daily walk through the tree copse mattered…
If I tried it nowadays, I’d be devoured…
By various ailments pains, again and again…

Can’t get up the hill or down in the subterranean…
Would it help me if I took some cocaine?
Or a few more Codeines for the pain?
I’d likely end up an addicted crackbrain?
Better not think of doing this then…
Should I be eating bread that’s multigrain?
I hope the cataract is done soon, my vision to regain…
Oh, dearie me, I need the Throne made of Porcelain…

Bloody Constipation Conrad; he’s barbaric!
I lost blood from the piles, trapped something in the seat of plastic!
The rock-hard evacuation nearly sent me ballistic!.
Sorry, I mustn’t be so melodramatic…
Little Inchies fungal lesion bled; it’s only miniaturistic,
It’s no use me being all nostalgic,
Or far-seeing and nostradamic,
And I’m not getting into a tizwas or panic…
Even with all my ailments, and now I’m osteoarthritic…
I intend to learn how to be optimistic,

Being depressed has been making me feel sick,
As do people who call me a prick…
For having such a tiny man-dick…
Bullies, gangs, fiddling MPs, Doctors charlatanic…
I find these scumbags are lowlife, oxymoronic,
They concern, bother me, even if I’m thanatognomonic,
Dementia Doreen, toys with all things mnemic…
Dates, appointments, names, days… it could be hilaric…
But with me, there are other things to make me feel despotic,
Peed off, humiliated, and depressogenic…
I’ve forgotten what they are; because I’m a schmendrick!

Yet I used to be known as being hyperdynamic,
I’m so fat naturally; I’m not bulimic,
I don’t see the end of mankind as cataclysmic…
If there is a God, our actions must have made him sick…
If St Peter wants to send me back to earth again… Horrific!
One failure is enough for me; that would be so dramatic.
Unless he assures me this time, my man-worm will be pythonic!
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Turned the Computer off and thoughts of food developed. But there are not many choices fresh-wise, and I’m too tired and shaking to bother too much.

I decided first to take some close-up photos of the ankle and feet. Here they are on the left here. The left foot is getting worse, but the right one with the ulcer is far easier and better looking tonight.

The left toes and foot had lost a lot of fluid. The right one was still retaining a lot of water. Walking remains more like hobbling and a smidge risky when the PN wobbles and shakes come on while getting around the flat.

Ah, off to the wet room. A tough evacuation that almost brought tears to my eyes. Washed up, and I medicated poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids.
Then back to pondering on what to have to eat. Well, I was not interested in cooking, and the tiredness decided me to have a quick snack. A pot of pot noodles, with extra seasonings, added. Liquid smoke and BBQ sauce. A pot of instant potato with liquid salt, soya bacon pieces and more BBQ sauce. A few sad-looking slices of dry bread to dip into the noodles and wrap up some of the potatoes to make a sarnie out of.
The picture looks terribly sparse, unappetising, a pathetic meal. That is because it was all these things!
Yet… maybe because of Sweet Morpheus’s determination that I will not get any sleep, combined with his success in doing this, I enjoyed the nosh. I think a Taste-Rating of 6.5/10 would not be over-gracious?
Even though I fell asleep eating it! Woke and finished it off and drifted into the land of nod again. I think it must have been a deep one, cause I reckon I was dreaming I was sleeping… and great joy was floating in my mind, peaceful…
♫Oh, Susana♫ burst out from the door chime box six foot away in front of me. It jerked me awake, and Valerie came into the room, and instantly the tiredness hit me again. I’d only been sleeping for five minutes! I was hoping to stay in the recliner while Valerie gave me the medications, then I could nod off again when the gal had finished, but no!
Valerie needed some medications, and I got up and hobbled into the kitchenette to get her some from the medicine drawer.

Valerie gave me the doses, and I had a little natter with her. She pointed out that my Stuttering-Stephanie habit was a lot worse tonight. I’d not noticed? Why I wondered? And stayed not knowing!) I can’t remember if I offered her any nibbles or not? I hope I did. I think I stayed in the chair as she left after I thanked her.
But there was no sleeping early tonight for me. I soon realised I’d not locked the door. So, what with the memory of the yobboes coming in at two in the morning still fresh in my mind, I had to get up and go to lock the door – Not a hard task, really…
However, stubbing my toe on the way back against the clothes airer ensured a minor curse word was emitted, thus, cocking up any chance of getting to sleep early!

After an hour or so, I gave up and put a DVD on. Humph!

Inchchcock: Ode, Diary & Blown-Up Feet & Ulcer

ODE OF THE DAY
With apologies for any grammar errors and drifting off topics

My worries & fears have grown fainter…
It’s not that I’m any less dafter…
I’m still scared stiff of cleaner Esther!.
I’m always in a panic, flutter or fluster…
But I had some good luck – what a flabbergaster!

I visited the EENT at the Queens Medical Hospital,
On my sixth visit, seeking cataract replacement, surgical,
Outlook not so bleak, but I was still sceptical,
The first Doctor was very sympathetical,
So kind that I felt almost emotional!

I waited to see the top Doc, obviously pedagogical…
For a final exam, to see if it was possible…
To make a lens to cover my cornea, which had a rimple,
My situation was becoming agathokakological…
A final exam deep in the eye, the fault may be congenital,
But the outcome was magical! ♥

It won’t be easy, but they’ll persevere!
I almost let out a loud cheer…
They put me on the waiting list; here, here!
Estimated wait, three months, and I thanked her,
My Smug mode engaged; it went nuclear,
Nothing can stop me know – well, maybe the Grim Reaper…
For the first time in months, I felt happier!


Then, of course, the other worries came to mind,
To suffer these Thought-Storms, I resigned,
Diabetes problems, Dentists as if designed…
To get me confused, my thoughts intertwined!

See above; mankind is so animalistic…
War, killing all tellurians, pathetic!
Humans have always been barbaric,
Yet we make some bionic?

Plenty of other ways to die than war,
Endless ailments attacking us for sure…
Covid, asthmatics, cancer, some with no cure…
Diabetes, heart problems & death in store…
Murderers, druggies, we’re killing more?

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NEMO MORTALIUM ONMIBUS HORIS SAPIT

0525hrs:  I woke and was a little surprised with the state of my feet, ankles and legs. Not a pretty sight!. But you can see from the last photos above that they have worsened! The water retention has given me rock-hard legs? A bit of a struggle to get out of the recliner this morning… And boy, Oh Boy, was it painful walking!
I had a mammoth job trying to sort out a pair of spectacles that I could see adequately with. It seems every day, sometimes the sight changes during the day, and I have to try other pairs? Still, at least I’m on the waiting list, at the bottom, obviously, but the prospects of getting the cataract done are here, at last and least!.
Is at the drilling, tapping and banging early today. Bless him!
Richard arrived, a little concerned at the state of my legs. He got the medications issued and gave me time for a natter, about the Diabetes sessions and how to get there, and other little grumbles. Hehehe!
I pressed on with this blog starting.

The DVT-Warfarin nurse arrived with a trainee along with her. Soon got the blood taken. They were both Angelic, caring, beautiful, appealing, kind, sweet gals. Not that I noticed myself, of course. On with the blog…

The landline rang. I could hardly hear whoever it was, were saying. They were on about the legs and feet? Keep your feet up? Maybe Richard had told Natalie, and they had called her? That was good on him. Back to blogging…
The reddening of the ankle seemed to be lessening as time passed. Of course, it didn’t last, but it cheered me up temporarily) The swelling had not improved, but let’s be thankful for small mercies, that’s what I say!
At last, I got around to finishing the top graphics and started on the Odeing… Accompanied by Herbert’s cacophony of mechanical sounds. Haha! Back to the blogging…
Meridian’s Natalie tuned up, and she had called the Doctor. She wanted to take a photo of my legs to send to the surgery. No problem, she took and sent off in seconds. The landline burst forth again, and I asked Natalie to answer it. The Doctor said she wasn’t concerned with the ulcer, just the swelling on the feet and toes. Said for me to put my feet up. Natalie also listened to my tale of the Diabetes Sessions and suggested that if they can’t move the location to Sherwood. A local volunteer company, minibus, I can’t remember the name, could give me a lift there and back for a low cost. She could arrange it for the sessions at Bulwell for me? I agreed and thanked her. Back to the blog…
Cleaner Esther arrived to see how I was, shed just finished doing the other flats, and checked on the laundry bag, “No need, you have plenty of clothes and towels!” Haha! Fair enough, I’m not going to argue with Esther!
Back to the blogging! A busy day, innit? Back to the blog…
It dawned on me that I’d not done the blood pressure or temperature checks yet. So I did them!
The SYS, DIA and Pulse were all okay; in fact, combined, they were better than they have been for the last four days now!
Shame about the body temperature, though. After four days of being as nearly perfect as possible, today, it was well down at 32.7°c.
The NHS input page indicated that the average for blood pressure was almost out of the red zone. Doing well there, methinks.
I got some chips, well, potato slices in the oven. It’s getting late now; it’s time to start feeding the innards!
Oh, I just had a weather warning flash up! 102°f! Hotter than yesterday! I can see through the balcony window that there is a decent breeze blowing the bushes about.

I can’t weigh up why my body temperature is so low? Hey-Ho!
I’ve sat for an hour or so, with my legs up on a chair, as instructed by the wonderful caring Doctor of mine. But typing side-ways on is bad enough without the cataract eyesight and jerking body limbs. Having to stretch to reach, and getting a jerk, is making me make even more cock-ups than usual. I’m so glad the Doctor isn’t worried about the ankle ulcers… I’m afraid enough myself, though. Hehehe! Of course, she doesn’t have to put up with the pain, does she? Tsk! And putting the feet up doesn’t seem to have helped the ulcers or water-retention in the slightest, does it? Grungleturds!

I’m now going to get the nosh prepped and served. The sliced potatoes have been in for longer than planned, 35-minutes, so they should be crispy enough.

I’m back… what a pillock! I left them on the counter near the microwave! They have gone all soggy now in the heat. What a Plonker!
I put them in the oven, hoping they would not come out too bad.

Botherations, testicles and ARGH!

I’ve lost heart now; every time a Windows update comes in, this seems to happen! It took me over a week to get it to work last time, and then, I think it was something Windows did to get it back.
Mayhaps I’ll sing a song, be happy… shout out at passers-by with friendly words of greeting, spread love and companionship to the shoplifters, muggers and bail-dodgers below, from the balcony… Or not. Still, I’m not going to get all worked up, swearing, spitting, depressed and make myself poorly with hatred and self-loathing. I’ll just carry on without taking any photos. I’ll not miss taking them and lovingly putting them on this blog. Ate the meal and took a picture, but… Humph!

Called, and she sorted me out with the medications. The gal was horrified at the state of my ulcers and legs after taking one glance and averting her eyes. Of course, it could have been the scary-looking, boing-boing belly that caused this. I tried for hours to get the SD card to work again… futilely! I now await the next Whoopsiedangleplop, Accifauxpa, Disaster, Cock-Up, foul-up, comedy-of-errors, snafu, omnishambles, or getting the trots! Not to mention walking into or tripping over something, involuntary right-leg Idiopathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about right-leg dance.

Up and down sort of day!

In the morning, I booted the computer to find the SD Card reader working again? So got the missing ones on here; they are for your belated perusal.


The potatoes looked okay. But the flavour was, well…
View during the 104°f heat!
Evening sunset – Thunderstorms forecast.

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Diary: Off to the EENT Hospital Again

Monday, July 18th 2022


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04:00hrs: Woke with the brain ticking over. (I’m not saying it was functioning, more like a chugging noise the engine makes when it won’t start)

Made brew of Thompson’s Punjana, and went on WordPress, comments, then the WP Reader. Turned off the computer, and I started clearing things to get ready for the ambulance lift. Emptied, washed and disinfected the rather well-used NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket).

SYS 148, DIA 72, Pulse 82. Not too good, but it’s been worse, I suppose. I had a bit of good luck here. I dropped the flipping Sphygmomanometer as I was taking out the tubing… and it fell in the waste bucket that had last night s PPs a,d used tissues from the bleed in it; thus, there was no damage; to it, and it still worked perfectly well!

Richard arrived, not at the promised 06:00hrs, but at 0:730hrs. Not that it mattered, cause the lift had not arrived yet. Richard seemed oblivious to his failings, bless him. As I said, it mattered not after all. Another bit of luck there, the lift being later: Great! Again! Richard sorted the medications, gave him some extra nibbles and plonk cause I thought he was going to come early, and told him of the Diabetes mix-up. Hehehe!

A little loser this time… yet more luck? I resisted going into Smug-Mode for the third time. Did the ablutions while I was in the wet room ablutions. I still found myself going into yet another, all the same… Why? I’ll tell yers; Not a single cut or bleed doing the teeth and shaving! No toe stubbing, Dizzy Dennis’s, involuntary right-leg Idiopathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dancing either. Not to mention no falls, banging of any limbs, or walking into anything!

I settled in the swivel chair with the magnifying glass and the crossword book.
I’d positioned myself in the hallway from the front room door, as I did last Friday, and awaited the arrival of the lift there. So I could hear it, in case the intercom buzzers. I can’t hear it from the front room.

As I sat there waiting, I felt and saw the ankles and legs beginning to visibly swell up, and the ankle ulcers glow and sting when the trousers, or anything, touched or brushed against them.

The telephone rang, which I thought I’d miss, as I was sat, my back facing the room, and had to manoeuvre my way to get into the landline in time, but I managed it. The lift driver said they would be here in 15 minutes. (Which would be 09:00hrs, and I would be late for the appointment, Ah, well!) I went down and sat in the flats lobby with the crossword book but couldn’t see to do any, and the reading glasses were back up in the flat.

They arrived, and I got into the ambulance. We picked another patient up en route, and he went in with me to the reception. I was told to sit there, with a  stern pointing finger, until I was called for. So, I did!

A lady beckoned me (this happened before in August 1962, Margaret her name, I think… I digress, sorry!). A gentleman came along and summoned me to another waiting area, where I was told to wait to be called. So, I did. More questions and eye tests, a little different this time, back to the holed discs and tested both eyes. Ten minutes later, she said, I will now go to see the ophthalmologist in charge for a final test and decision on whether it can be done or not due to the misshapen cornea I have. 

Out and through to another waiting area. Minutes later, a chap summoned me into a room, where the lady in charge was sitting, and it was obvious she was in charge! No messing or humour was apparent, needed or accepted from her. She spent some time on the chin machine again and asked more questions. Then, I was commanded to go to the young man’s device for some clour flashing exercises. It was not easy for me having to sit still, with Shoulder Shuddering Shirley giving some, and he had to keep holding the eyelids open from the other side of the machine. Cause for some reason, I could not open my eyes wide enough?
Minutes later, more Good News & Luck – The lady told me she was putting my name down on the list to have the surgery!!! I dare not ask how long it might be.

Hehe! Back to the initial reception to ask for transport home. I took a circuitous route to get to it cause I got a little lost en route.
I sat down around 1030hrs, thinking how well it went this morning.
I was still there at 14:00hrs but thinking a little differently.
Eventually, an ersatz ambulance came up and asked my name. And out we plodded into his vehicle. I was pleased to be going home, for some reason.

He took my trolley, removed the wire basket and put it in the cabin. Came back and asked if I was a diabetic when he noticed the legs were looking a little inflamed and rough, to say the least. ‘Yes!’ “Where’s your biscuits?” ‘The ambulance driver just took them and crushed them in the trolley walk. He’s just collapsed, mate!’ Today, there was a shortage of humour, laughter and smiling!
We then moved to the back of the site to a different section altogether, and we picked up two blokes in wheelchairs. (Getting later all the time!) We dropped the man at the back off in Carrington, not far from where the house was; the only good thing about this was it brought on a bit of pleasure and appreciation of living where I do now! At least the chap next to me was talkable to; we had a natter en route.
I was dropped off next. Gave the other bloke and the driver a choice of plonk from the trolley. That cheered them up a smidge.

In and up to the flat, I knocked my elbow on the door frame as I hurriedly got indoors to have a wee-wee. Stubbed my toe and, in my haste to get Little Inchie out, started the fungal lesion bleeding! I thought things were going a bit too well for me! Jon and a half cleaning up and medicating things in need (the lesion).

I came out after washing and medicationing, sorted the mess in the hallway, and found a leaflet in the letterbox from Nottingham City Homes.
They are organising a Special Event for all Winwood Heights Residents in Winwood Court communal lounge. Thursday, July 28th 2022, Twixt 11:00>14:00hrs. Attending will be the Nottingham Fire & Rescue Service, Community Policing, Nottingham Voluntary Services, the NHS, and more! NCH (Nottingham City Homes)  representatives. Building safety, Tenancy & Estate Management, Caretaking and Tenant Involvement Teams.
Also, a TRA (Tenants & Residents Association) General Meeting on Monday, 25th July 2nd. A few gentle reminders: Please do not leave food out for the birds, as it is attracting some less welcome visitors. Rats and other vermin.
Also, over the past few months, a few people, mainly youngsters, entered the flats and caused a nuisance. So be vigilant. Only let people in who you know and make sure that entrance doors are always closed after you have used them – and never leave ajar any fire exits.

Going to get some fodder, chips and Veggie-Chilli! Had the last of the pod peas with it – sad, heartbreaking, I may have a sob later. The Flavour rating given was a worthy 8.9/10! Apart from the bread being a smidge stale.

Carer arrived, and she soon got me sorted out. Thanked her with some strawberries from the fridge and her choice of a can of plonk. She took the waste bags out to the chute with her.

Washed the pots; I had a wee-wee. Darned lengthy follow-ups!) Got my head down. And had a decent kip for once. Grrreat!

Inchcock’s Morning Musings – In Ode

Inchie Woke With An Idea For Today’s Blog Theme!

He went into Photographicalistical mode straight away. Well…

And after the traditional painful, challenging wee-wee,
He got his Canon camera and dropped it, accidentally,
Well, he’s getting senile now and rather elderly…
His thoughts and actions are slow, performed dottily,
He hurt his back, bending to retrieve it; he needed another pee!
Yet it still worked, so he took his first photo, jauntily…

He took it from the balcony,
The red van parked, again, illegally…
Yesterday, the lights shone brightly…
This photo came out fairish – a periodicity!

Clear morning, t’was no longer foggy…
The following two shots were taken in duplexity…
Top one to the north-east,
Second to the south-east,
Not so good these, my apology!.

He took an extra snap, using technology…
He’d zoomed in, to him that’s using gadgetry,
He went into a smug mode, as he did one correctly!
He even charged up the battery…
For him, that’s technological activity!

But the twerp couldn’t get the card to work
The computer was confusing the burke!
Card reader not recognised, he went berserk!
From his efforts, he did not shirk…
And by some miraculous quirk…
He got it to work, the jerk!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After making a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea, stubbing his toe, and dropping the milk bottle, he cleaned the mess up. Took his CBD.

The formula was frivolously formulated for phrasemaking while Inchcock was busy cutting himself shaving. He can’t recall what it was exactly but decided that as he continued with his ablutions and medicationalisationing, he might get inspiration or a vague idea for a new plot. But, by the time he stopped the chin bleeding and utilised the Porcelain Throne, the earlier plan of his blog’s theme had plodded off into the ether, lost forever…

Teeth cleaning, nasal decongesting, and into the shower. Inchie banged his shoulder against the power-box (Dizzy Dennis to blame). Swore violently. Took his shower, then set about doing his medicationalisationings.

These went reasonably well (Did I say that?) The most painful bit of agonistically applying the stinging Betamethasone cream really was nowhere near the pain it usually was? This was a good start.

Treating Arthur Itis, Colin Cramps, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley, Ankle-Ulcer-Herbert. Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Saccades Sandra, Duodenal Donald, Back-Pain-Brenda, Little Inchies, Fungal Lesion were all medicated. The none Carer and prescription items were applied to many parts of the body.

Saccades eye drops. He was gobsmacked at getting some of the liquid into the eye, for once. Of course, he managed to get some in his nose and mouth as per usual.

A second hobbling speedily attended visit to the Porcelain Throne was followed by taking two Dioctyl® capsules. To counter Trotsky Terence’s return! Messy, very much so! Took ages to clean things up afterwards.

Carer Richard arrived. Soon got the medications sorted, and he made sure I took them and didn’t drop any, bless him.

It was his last call, so he spent a little while having a chinwagging session with me. The lad’s gone through many similar procedures as I have, but poor Richard got them a lot earlier in his life. Which I appreciated.

He’s coped amazingly well with things. A caring bloke, too.

He seemed to be cheery,
And, off Richard did flee,
I had another pee…
Colour chart for the wee,
Was on number three,
Now six, it smelt musty!
Oh, back to the lavatory,
Oh, what a malady!

Well Into The Afternoon…

But no one had told Inchcock, the chatterbox…
Chattering to himself, sipping dandelion & burdock!
Thinking he may just wash his socks…
A message comes through on his voicebox…
Unsolicited mail, through his letterbox…
He forgets the socks: arrears in his Carer fees shocks!
Over £400 – Oh, Hollyhocks!
That’s not what he said, but it also rhymes with Bullocks!
He plans to get it paid by the following equinox!

Supplementary Information

A change of nosh style, I’m watching the size of my hips!
Vegetarian sausages, peas, swede and lentil potatoes…
C
hilli sauce, onion gravy, a banana, oranges…Oh, and chips!
I forgot to take from the fridge the tomatoes…
And now my rear quarters blows and blows!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme Series

Inchcock Today – Wednesday 14th October 2020: My lockdownabilites are being tested! As for Liberty-Global Virgin Media internet – Clapbogelsworthyness!

The Lovely Smile of the TFZeress ♥

Wednesday 14th October 2020

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 14eg Hydref 2020

: 03:00hrs: Due to the wonderfully pathetic service from Liberty-Global, Virgin Media internet connection, constantly going down today, this will be a short, messy, and quick diary of the day’s disasters. And with CorelDraw playing up something rotten, I’m stumped for time to get things done. I’m very sorry about this. Not as in-depth and revealing as usual. Still, being the twerp I am, I ended up staying up late to get caught up with it.

If you know of any reasonably priced, reliable assassins, perhaps you’d like to arrange for Mr Fries, the Liberty-Global boss. To have a visit? New York-based global investment equity firm KKR announced Wednesday that it acquired Corel, taking ownership from Vector Capital. I can’t find the animal in charge there, but I hope he or she is in pain and catches the Virus.

Of course, I’m only joking.

Rose, and had to use the Porcelain Throne. Argh! Constipation Konrad still in charge. Agony! But the leg ulcer was looking so much calmer, now.

Got the Health Checks done. The BP results were scary. Took the medications.

The stick thermometer was also playing up and not giving a reading, other than low.

Onto the computer, will a determination to get a crack-on… Hahahaha! With Libert-Global and CorelDraw’s combined inabilities and constant cock-ups, there was no chance!

The internet was going down so very often! Frustration turned to anger later. Humph! It did sp, so often, I shall not mention it again, well, we’ll see!

Facebooking was a grind, not pleasure. Pinteresting was farcical! I was getting into some fine messes on the computer!

I kept knocking off, doing other jobs, I took a snap of Chestnut Walk.

Then stupidly thinking things would come back on proper. What a clot I am! Got the ablutions done, took my time and it was a fair session, no injuries, although the dropsies were more than plentiful.

  I tried ringing Warden Deana, to ask her to ring the Doctors for me, to order some Macrogol on the next prescriptions for me. But there was no reply. Either busy, or on holiday, or moved somewhere else?

Jenny rang. She is having the same struggle with Lacksadisical Liberty-Global. She suggested I send an email asking for prescriptions, which made me wonder why I wasn’t doing this. Hehe! I did enjoy the little natter and laugh. ♥Later I recalled getting the letter telling me they cannot take prescription requests via email, anymore. Tsk!

Sister Jane rang me to tell me she had not received the email link. I wasn’t surprised I’d forgotten to send it, with all the mayhem this morning. I apologised and said I’d do it as soon as, or if, I can get the Template made up. We had a longish chinwag, and that broke the depression, cheered me up. ♥

Then off to the Porcelain Throne again – another bad one, no improvement, despite the Macrogol and Dyoctyl, I’m on. But, no bleeding this time from Harold’s Haemorrhoids! And the legs were all calm. Bloodless looking mind you.

Uncomfortable in the extreme, I got some bags of rubbish made up and taken to the waste chute. Not the easiest of tasks this morning. I loaded the three-wheeler walker guide with the various sized bags and hobbled with them (Not dropping any en route, Smug-Mode-Engaged!) to the chute room.

Made a brew, and took the Docusate sodium and an extra Maccrogol sachet. I’ve not got a lot of confidence in them, but fair do’s, give them another day or so, and they might start working. Or not! Well, they didn’t, making me very late in getting my head down, to catch up. Brunglebogs!

I had a go ar making the graphics again. I spent more time correcting things than creating owt! Grrr!

And of course, the internet kept packing up in the middle of doing things!

THe wee-weeing was frequenter than ever, but only dribbles most of the time. I checked the colour against the chart, and it was still on No.6, very dehydrated.

On the other side of the NHS card, was a reminder to drink 2½ to 3½ litres of liquids a day, while I’m on the Dioctyl capsules for the week.

But, I have no decaffeinated tea in stock.

So I was taking spring water in between the Thompsons Punaja, Glengettie, Assam and Glengettie Gold, brews.

Then, I remembered that I forgot to send the blog links off, so got it tended to.

The ‘Hum’ was accompanied wit he few taps, knocks and clunks, from Herbert in the flat above. I wonder what model he’s making today? I rarely see anyone nowadays with this lockdown for a chinwag. Mind you, he’s a bit of a reticent, taciturn sort of superior acting bloke, so I’m not missing anything there, then.

Off I poddled to the wet room for what must be the twentieth wee-wee of the day, possibly more actually.

The leg ulcer seemed to be getting a smidge more inflamed? And the Clopdogrel lumps and papules looked like returning.

Time to take the evening medications now. Then get some fodder prepared.

As I got in the kitchen, I found that I’d left the hot water tap (faucet) running, and now had no hot water. Ah, well, at least I haven’t done this for at least three days. Humph!

I had a go again at getting the lid off of the balsamic vinegar and honeyed shallots. To my amazement, I got it off! Well pleased with this! I split the contents, half and half, with the original jar to be taken down for Jenny and Frank, the other half, having put some of the onions on my plate for later, went in an old lidded plastic container and into the fridge. I rang Jenny to tell her I’d be calling, but the gal was busy on the line. Got the Jenny-jar in a bag, ready to go down. 

Got the potato cakes in the oven, took this photo of the afternoon view, then gave Jenny another call on the phone. The gal was still busy, so I got the stick, and a jar of pickled shallots and went down to put them outside her door, rang the bell and then had fun getting the list back up. Hehe!

Got back at last, and worked on getting the dinner made up. Not much cooking involved at all. But I managed to burn the potato cakes a bit too much, even for me. Hoggleglumps! The new shallot onions and the Jenny supplied yellow tomatoes were the highlight of the meal. The Lidl potato thins, reminded me of chewing newspaper when I was a kid, and short of food – but the newspaper had more taste. Hehehe!

Put the pots in the bowl to soak, and I got down in the c1968 non-working recliner that my Xyrophobia suffering, over amour propred Brother-in-Law Pete broke, when he was clearing the flat of my monies and valuables after I had the stroke… Where was I? Oh, yes, head down with the only intention being to get some sleep. But no! Although I was spared any Thought-Storming tonight, Duodenal Donald made an excellent substitute ‘Keep-Awakener’.

I didn’t bother getting up, to take any of the nugatory Peptac medicine, and tried to carry one, ith little chance of, but getting to sleep!

But Duodenal Donald was on top form tonight, and out of desperation, I got up and gave myself a pretty reasonably nasty toe-stubbing en route to the kitchen, to have a large guzzle or two of the weak ineffective, inadequate, not up-to-the-job Peptac medicine. There were no spare Omeprazole capsules, now they come in the dosage-pods, but things were so painful and uncomfortable with Duodenal Donald, I took one of tomorrow mornings ones, which I may well regret in the morning, methinks! I swallowed the capsule and took the pathetic Peptac bottle to the recliner with me, and it was well used, but to no effect. Humph!

Fed-up? Me? Hahaha!

Yes!

Inchcockski – Monday 29th June 2020: Discomforting, diuturnal doings of a baffling nature!

Monday 29th June 2020

Igbo (Africanus Horton): Mọnde 29th June 2020

02:00hrs: After many false wake-ups, I had to make this one real, cause I needed a wee-wee, again! I fought my way out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly beige-coloured, dilapidated, not working, uncomfortable, Haemorrhoid-damaging, rickety recliner, to the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket). It had been well-used overnight, so many times I thought I must have worn the carpet down! Hehe! 

However, the content level barely covered the bottom of the bucket. Each sprinkling session during the night got smaller, or less than the previous one. This effort lasted for about a painful four seconds! I reckon I’ve got another urine infection. The colour was white and cloudy. Hey-ho! 

But at least it got me up, and when I stubbed my toe on the edge of the hearth, this ensured I was fully awake, and the brain started to activate. Not logically, but it was nice to pretend.

 I took the bucket for cleaning and sanitising, and I found I needed the Porcelain Throne while I was in the wet room.

Well, agony hardly covers how painful this was! I needed to exert a lot of pressure to get things moving… But it was Rock-solid! Half in, half out, the motion stalled! The pain did remain, for ages, a quick bash at the crossword until I got it going again! The sight of all the blood shook me for a second or two. I decided not to photograph the view!

A good cleansing session and some Germoloid cream applied to the rear-end.

Despite the agony of the evacuations, I still found time to cringe at the pain from the uncut toenails and feet.

To the kitchenette. I took the morning medications first, then got the kettle on, and did the Health Checks. Which came out much better today. The earhole temperature was 62.2°c.

Then I tried to take a scan photo of the roadway below, but the shaking made every effort fail. Blanglebotherations!

So I tried taking two shots, and later manipulated them as best I could together, (Not very good!) and grouped them, converted to Bitmap, and trimmed them down. I wonder if I’ll ever be capable of taking a scan-shot again? Probably not. Humph!

No red vehicles in view for Billum?

I launched myself into updating the Sunday blog. It took me a while as Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters were as usual, on and off. Silver Lining Results: Saccades Sandra, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, and Shaking Shaun was all in a good mood!

I got it done, sent off the Email link, then I went on the WordPress Reader section. Commenting, then made up the template for and started this post going.

I took a break and went to make another mug of tea, fancying the Extra-Strong Assam this time.

I was getting trembling sensations from the right ankle and top of the leg? I took a picture of the pins, but they looked the same as they did yesterday. Well, no, that’s not right. The upper legs were retaining fluid, and they were not like this earlier?

Of course, the uncut toenails and soles of the feet, they hurt when I just look at them! Hahaha!

It suddenly got lighter or rather, brighter outside. Can it be the sun trying to get through this early in the day? No sooner had I took this picture than things went all dark again.

Then, of course, it had to happen! Hobbling back to the computer room, and I had a cracking toe-stubbing, again on the electric fire hearth! I believe I did quietly pass a few naughty words and may have questioned the parentage of my bad-luck! Sorry!

I went on TFZer and Winwood Heights Facebooking. Then got some black bags made up, to to the waste chute, then took the big blue bag of recyclables down, out and around to the caretakers’ room. The only person I met, going and returning to the flat, was a nurse waiting for the lift.  It was a smidge dark again outside, a few spots of drizzle occasionally, and the wind was getting higher.

Got in the flat, and had a check around to make sure things were safe for me to hibernate in the wet room, taps, heater, lights etc. not left on or open, and get the ablutions sorted out.

Ablutionalisticalisationing Report – Overall rating: 7/10!

  • Coped with cleaning the teeth, Toothache Thomas not too bothered! Toothbrush and paste, one dropsy each, only!
  • Shaving: Dropsies; Shaving foam spray, razors (3), Cuts a few. (3).
  • Showering; Dizzy Dennis visit, and dropped the carbolic soap (2), flannel, and back brush.
  • Drying off; Knocked a lot of stuff off of the floor cabinet, but had the Jenny supplied picker-upperer at hand to make life easier.
  • Medicationalisationing; Applying the Cortisone cream, a little over-enthusiastically, and started Little Inchies fungal lesion bleeding.
  • Kept my balance dressing and didn’t walk into anything on the way out!

Smug-Mode-Adopted!

I (sedulously and safely) made a brew of Glengettie Gold tea. While doing so, I thought I could hear a rattling noise from somewhere, so I went to investigate around the flat. Turns out, it the wind blowing the glass panes about on the balcony. It was still dark, but no proper rain yet.

I espied some red coloured cars at the dead-end if Chestnut Walk. The end window, although I was brave enough to try and use the metal spring clips, that traps and bruises fingers, perfect idea for old folks balcony windows. Indeed, this very opener has had two Nottingham City Homes workers already! But I couldn’t get it to open. Too tight! But no bother for an agile, fit, young man like wot I am! I hung out of a front window and lurched my body to the right, and with the camera strapped to my hand. And managed to take this photo on the right, of the vehicles!

Coming back in the flat, I was about to allow myself another moment of deserved Smugness… Then stubbed the same flipping toe on the raised balcony step! Grumblecronkackers! Globblegripes! Gangleboggleisations! Granglesknackersbuggerit!

Oh, dearie me, all that care taken not to trap my fingers in the lethal metal spring-clip, that needs to be pushed and pulled at the same time to operate it, then I go and stub the toes again! I was so angry with myself.

I decided to make another mug of tea, Extra-Strong-Assam I think this time, take another pain-killer, a 60g Codeine. Because things are getting painful now! Anne Gyna, Toothache Thomas, Little Inchies fungal lesion, Haemorrhoid Harold and now the stubbed toes, sore pads of the feet, and the so uncomfortable uncut toenails have made an alliance between themselves methinks: To ‘Give Inchcock Excruciating, Agony, and wretched-purgatory’. They’ll probably be planning my next serious Whoopsiedangleplop or Accfauxpas at this moment. Hahaha! Well, it feels like it! I dread to think what Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley and Nicodemus have up their sleeve for me! Gehenna, here I come!

I got this meal prepped, and settled to eat it—a Flavour Rating of 5.5/10.

Uncle Dizzy Dennis came on after I’d eaten it, I put the tray on the other seat and blissfully, soon dropped off to into a much-needed sleep.

Minutes later, the door chimes rang out, both of them. I grumpily rose up and went to the door. It was Josie waking me yet again! Bless her, she felt she had to keep giving me stuff in return for the Sunday meals. And she gave me some blackcurrant cakes. Dia Bete’s cannot be happy about this. I thanked her, but was wrangled at being woken up again! Mustn’t blame her, she can’t help forgetting things, any more than I can’t get any sleep!

Dizzy Dennis came on again as I resettled. Sleep, my disturbed Sweet Morpheous, did not want to return. I got more uptight, and when I did eventually drop off, nightmares flourished and woke me up with a jolt! I fought to get back to sleep.

Then the landline rang and flashed! Out of the chair, banged my knee on the Ottoman, got to answer the phone. It was the Phlebotomy Nurse calling to say she’d arrive between 08:00 > 09:00hrs in the morning. Thank her! Tried to make a note in my head for tomorrow and the Morrison Delivery being so late, and I must not forget it is coming!

Then I gave up completely on getting any proper sleep, and got a brew made, and onto the computer. Worra-lot-of-bovver!