Inchcock – Monday 8th May 2017: Nature hobble, Whoopsidenagleplop and Accifauxpa, today. Tsk!


Monday 8th May 2017

Filipino: Lunes Mayo 8, 2017

0405hrs: Up, out of the £300 second-hand recliner and off for a wee-wee. Did the ablutions while in the wetroom. Little Inchy not bleeding, but sore as heck, Haemorrhoid Harold leaking just a bit, Duodenal Donald I could sense was getting ready to give me more bother today, and Dennis Dizzy had a go at me twice while I was in there ablutionalisationing.

Did the Health Checks and finalised last week’s log. All right I reckon?


Creamed the areas in need. Took the medications and made a good strong mug of tea.

1Mon02Viewed the scenery outside and pondered on the plans for the day: Morrison Delivery arriving 0630>0730hrs, wanted to go and feed the ducks various birds at the Nottingham Arboretum, then go to the bank with the details needed and ask them for assistance with changing my address with the new pension company. Oh, I must call Jenny to tell her I will be going to the nosh session and ask her for the number of the computer engineer she recommended a while ago. Also, get some bread and vegetables. Then remembered I’ve to sort all the bank paperwork back into the dedicated folders. Made myself tired thinking of it all. Hehe! I’ll see what gets done eh?

Did some WordPress reading as I waited for the food to arrive – while consuming another mug of tea of course. Then recalled I’d ordered it for Thursday twixt 0800>0900hrs. Huh!

I rang Jenny, and she said the Computer man is no longer working, but she will get a number for another and let me know it later.

Did some Facebooking and then got the things and me ready to set off into town. Took the waste bin bags to the chute and replaced them with new ones ready, and took the empty, cleaned jars with me in the bag.

Down in the lift, met Olive and had a natter with her, then took the jars to the recycling bin and joined several other tenants waiting for the bus in the foyer. Another chinwag I enjoyed.

1Mon01Caught the L9 to town and dropped off at the terminus.

Crossed over the road by the tram stop, and hobbled down and up the hill to the Nottingham Arboretum Pond area.

Hardly anyone about, apart from students from the local Trent colleges.

Had a pleasant few minutes talking to the Mallard Ducks and their ducklings along with the pigeons who all came boldly to me and dined well.


The baby Mallards showed no fear at all, and even competed with the other birds to get at the food!

1Mon02Many female University Students about on the way back, in the howling winds and nearly wearing clothes. Hehe! 

Hobbled to Victoria Centre (Mall) and called in Tesco. Got some Vegetarian Cottage Pie, a large Quorn one. Selling at £2 from £2.68 on Offer, fresh garden peas and Sourdough Bread.

Wandered up to the Fruit & Veg Market and got a few more pod peas. Wandered around Boots store.

1Mon04I liked the vehicle the Thai restaurant was using to advertise for themselves.

Out and over the road to Wilko. Got a reduced throw thingy, £8 down to £4. Body spray at 50p a small can and Citrus air spray on offer from £3 to £1.50.

Out and over the road to Wilko. Got a reduced throw thingy, £8 down to £4. Body spray at 50p a small can and Citrus air spray on offer from £3 to £1.50.

Then back to the L9 bus stop. Met the lady I chatted with on the way out, and we demolished some of the pod peas between us. Hehe!

A nasty looking accident between a taxi and a bus at the junction of Milton Street and Upper Parliament Street.

Chinwagged and had a laugh with the lady tenant en route home.

1Mon06I stayed on the bus and went on into Sherwood, to the bank.

Gave a bloke the details as requested while the two people that had been dealing with my problems stood behind with some paperwork sorting – they did not even acknowledge me. I bet something else will be needed or go wrong and either Christine the advisor or Lisa the manager will be in touch again within a week or so. No confidence in them at all.


Took this zoomed-on picture of the far end up the hill, of Dornoch Avenue. Poor folks dwellings at the bottom, wealthy ones at the top?

Hobbled up Winchester Street Hill to the flat. Where I met a bloke who asked me to order some white on black keypad stickers for him from eBay. Said I would.

Got in and had a wee-wee, put the bits away and got the pod peas cooking, then put the Cottage Pie in the oven. (Although I failed to put the power on to the cooker, so an hour or so later I turned off the peas and heated the oven properly and waited for it to heat up. Twit!)

Ordered the things for the chap, but not on eBay but Amazon, where I found them cheaper for him.

Got a message back from Amazon – order refused – I’d used the old bank card. Humph! Went back to the site and changed to the new card. Then did the order again, cause it was refused again. Tsk! Finally got confirmation it had been taken alright. After two hours of faffing around.

 Updated this article.

1Mon08Went on Facebook while the oven heated up.

I’d grated some strong cheese on the top of the mashed potatoes on the ‘On Offer Priced’ Quorn Pie. Put some demerara sugar in with the podded peas.

I have to say, it was a yummy meal, one of the best for a while.

Rated this one at worthy 9.55/10. Hope that they are still on offer next time I go to Tesco again.

A Torchwood DVD was watched for a while from the box set. I think this series got worse the longer it ran, too complicated for me to follow.

Turned to the gogglebox later, and started the nodding off for a few minutes, wake up to find another programme on now, repetitions routine. Tsk!

Nipped into the kitchen to get a mug of orange juice from the fridge…

Whoopsiedangleplop / Accifauxpa time had arrived! I decided to wash the pots while in the kitchen… cut down the finger nail again with a knife, banged right knee of the cupboard door under the sink and overfilled the orange juice in the mug and had a right mess to clean up!

Back to the £300 second-hand recliner, I turned off the TV and settled, soon started to drift off… Then the fretting began: ‘Did I turn off the tap?’, ‘Did I close the fridge door properly?’, ‘Did I leave the light on?’, ‘Did I leave the plug in the sink’ and ‘Did I leave the stove on?’… I could not settle until these worries were resolved.

Just had to go to investigate. That was when I stubbed my toe on the heater leg. Not just a standard stub, oh, no… this one almost made me yell out with agony!

Took an extra Codeine Phosphate and rubbed some pain gel on the tootsies and back to the £300 second-hand recliner and tried to relax again… Huh, as if!

Then, started worrying about my needless, or was it, worrying again? Everything that came into my mind seemed of a concerning, panicky, trepidation or consternation… was I turning into a masochist? Then I could not remember if I checked all my previous concerns in the kitchen, out of the recliner, limping a little more now after the good stubbing and checked the things…

I’d left the small ring on the cooker on. Turned it off, and once again returned limpingly to the chair with hopes of sleep foremost in my mind and seeking imperturbation.

Poor old thing! Hehehe!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 23rd Decembers 2014


Up on the WC at 0215hrs.

Back to kip, trying and failng to remember the dream I was having before the bladder woke me.

0320hrs WC.

Tried to get back to kip… failed.

Gorrup 0440hrs.

WC’d, started laptop, made a cuppa then took me medications.

Rather annoyingly as I was going downstairs I had a great idea for a post – by the Tue01time I was back up at the laptop it had faded into the ether. Tsk!

I took a photo from the upstairs window of the morning sky – touch of red in it and it foretold me of rain later.

I hope to make up for forgetting to go to the bank to update me insurances yesterday by going today. I realise that facing the rampant crowds will not be easy, but it’s got to be done. I’ll try to get some photographs of the Nottingham shoplifters… I mean shoppers on me walk.

Coughing, sore throat, bad back, arthritis, angina, duodenal ulcer, depression nor me lack of mobility is going to stop me going for a good walk today!

Blimey, did I just say that?

Medicated, scrubbed missen up, applied me creams and pain-gels did me teggies, shaved and had another sh… visit on the porcelain and was ready for the off.

Not too cold, windy mind and a little on the dark side still.

En route the horns were a-sounding from motorists stuck in the traffic jam into town and many frayed tempers methinks?

Cyclist on the pavement on me one mile walk into town this morning? Five! But they don’t bother me… oh no…

I nipped into Tesco to see if I could get another pack of the delicious Polish cocktail frankfurters, I searched and searched but could not find where I got them from Tue02yesterday. Hey-ho!

Walked along to the market to have a ponder – on the way I had a dizzy-spell and stood at the top of the escalator for a while. In about ten minutes my focus came okay again. I noticed that in that time the ‘Boost’ fruit drink cabin thing on the lower floor of the mall had no customers at all, and there were three staff on duty. Tue03Sad news for the owner that.

In the market the handbag and ladies accessories stall was doing no better than the fruit stand below. They had a marvellous selection on bags on show and I took a photograph of it for the girls on the Troll Free Zone site as I know some of them like their handbags, and they can click on the photo to see what’s on offer in Nottingham. Probably the same Korean, Chinese and Lithuanian manufactured choices as in America Canada and Australia?


Onward on me walk then to the Nottingham Arboretum.

At the end of the mall on the walk-over I took another photograph of the traffic and shoplifters… I mean Nottingham pedestrians vying with each other to get there first. Still not noon yet, the traffic increased greatly after then.

Tue05I plodded on through town to the bank before I forgot about going like. I took this photo just before I entered the bank, slowly the crowds were getting thicker on the ground. Seconds after taking this photograph a bloke walked into me shoulder nearly knocking me over and muttering in a loud voice I heard clearly “F&,/ing photograpers!” I wished him a Happy Christmas back too as he sped to wherever it was he was going!

I entered the bank and waited patiently for an adviser. One got up and as he came towards me a bloke who’d just come in the place approached him and got served like. Tsk! I thought. No bother I wasn’t in a hurry. Eventually the advisor came to me.

I didn’t like him instantly, he had that ‘Jobsworth-sneer’ on his mush and an arrogant tone in his voice – ‘This could get interesting I thought’ and it did.

It really isn’t my nature to get involved unpleasantly with anyone, but this turd was too tempting a challenge even for me…

Inchcock: “Good morning”

Turd: “Can I help you?”

Inchcock: “I don’t know can you?”

Turd: “I’m sorry?”

Inchcock: “So was I when you served the chap in the donkey-jacket who came in well after I did leaving me stood here waiting!

Turd: “I didn’t see you Sir!”

Inchcock: “That’s alright cocker, you’ve got bad eyesight I’m deaf… no prejudice from me pal!”

The now flummoxed looking Turd repeated himself: “Can I help you Sir?”

Inchcock: “I want to see an advisor about my home insurance…

The Turd cut in: “We have sold out insurance commitments to the Royal (Some name I can’t remember now) company you will have to contact them now!” (A sneer began to develop on his thin pale face)

I slightly raising my voice to enable other customers to hear me clearly: “Now that is a shame mush (Touch of the Tony Hancock’s there I thought – quite proud of that?) because the competent advisor who sat there (I pointed to one of the desks) three weeks ago told me to come back and she would help me by phoning them for me as part of the banks customer service ethics (I again pointed, this time to poster on the wall about the banks ethics policy) by phoning them for me!

Turd: “I’ll get an advisor to help you, take a seat!”

Inchcock: “Shame you didn’t say that in the first place Pike!” Gawd as was going strong now!

Turd: “Pike?”

Inchcock: “Can’t you remember Dad’s Army son?

The Turd walked away his face now red.

I was truly amazed at my responses and attitude to him. Hey-ho!

The advisor called me over and I got the impression he wanted to say something about the turd but dare not. The smile on his face was reward enough for me. He was helpful and patient and got me sorted out in no time.

I was pleased, almost proud of myself as I left the bank – but should I have been?

Tue06I walked through town and up passed the Theatre Royal and the tram stops, down passed the college building and weariness appeared to affect me, the coughing and sore throat seemed to come on together and my knees and feet really started to ache – but I didn’t mind because my victory over the bank turd was still fresh in my warped mind. Hehehe

As I passed an old building I thought how decorative it had been finished off with peoples heads in cement or stone above each of the windows. I’ll have to look up who designed it.

Maybe it was Watson Fothergill?

Arboretum Visit Report

I pressed on down the hill and up to the Nottingham Arboretum gate that I left via on yesterdays visit to the mallards and pigeons, and entered.

Tue07I realised just how much walking I’d done, and decided I could manage a walk home as well after my visit to the Arboretum was over. (What a pillock”)

Straight to the pond, where the mallards were taking a shower in the pond-centre fountain.

Tue08I watched then from a distance for a while, then approached to feed them the seeds and meal-worm pellets. I do love their quacking, I’ve become quite adept at copying their quacking yer now.

I walked up the hill (Another damned hill, getting tired now!) to cut over and come out near the cemetery.

I took a photo of the famous Chinese Bell surrounded by old Cannons!

The structure called “The Chinese Bell”, calls for a word of explanation, for it is a curious conglomeration of ideas and objects.

(1.) Richard Birkin, Esq, had efficiently served his fourth year of office as Mayor, and it was desired to record the event with approval.

(2.) ‘The Notts Regiment of Foot’ had deserved well of their town and county, which had sent it so many good soldiers that it ought to be recorded.

(3.) In the Crimean War of 1854-6 some cannon guns were taken at Sebastopol, and two of them were sent to Nottingham and mounted, and a heap of balls added.

(4.) During the war with China (1857) a bell, believed to consist of steel and silver, was “taken from a large and handsome Temple near to the east gate at Canton, when that city was captured. This bell, which stood in the principal part of the Temple and was struck during religious ceremonies to call the attention of the joss or god, or to announce his presence, was removed by the army, and brought to Nottingham, and here it was mounted and a canopy placed over it. The result being that guns partly Russian are mounted as firing from a Chinese Temple into the four quarters of the earth; while the bell has never been used”.

Tue09As I walked on upwards to the exit I passed a statue that I had forgotten all about. The inscription had been redone: “Feargus O’Connor Esq. MP. This Statue was erected by his Admirers 1859.”

Feargus O’Connor was a Chartist leader, and became a Nottingham MP in 1847. Born around 1796, he studied at Trinity College, Dublin, and became a lawyer. He inherited an estate in Cork, and during Irish agitation for reform in the early 1830’s, he emerged as an advocate of Irish rights and democratic political reform. He became MP for Cork in 1832 but lost his seat in 1835. He turned his attention to English radicalism and toured the country campaigning for political reform. He was described as “a superb orator, powerful, defiant, humorous”. (What would I give to be described as such?). In 1840 he was arrested and imprisoned in York Castle for 15 months. As his behaviour, apparently became increasingly irrational, he was declared insane in 1852, and was sent to an asylum in Chiswick, where he died in 1855. It was reported that 40,000 people attended his funeral.

Tue10Interesting that.

As I reached the highest point with a view of the grounds, I took a last photograph of the Arboretum grounds.

You’ll no doubt see the massed Nottingham people who appreciate and visit the Arboretum so regularly in the photograph.

‘He is on the centre path just to left of the second tree from the right in the photo.’

It took about half an hour to walk from there to the Continental shop in Carrington, where I purchased a packet of Silesian sausages.

Located just before the Lidl fiddlers store, where I thought about popping in to get some bread, but the queues down the store from the tills put me off.

So I limped back to the flea-pit and hastened to the WC.

I put away me Silesian sauages, and spooted on the nearly empty packet of delicious Polish cocktail frankfurters that I’d bought them at Asda. No wonder I failed to find any at Tesco is it? What a plonker!

Then I got the laptop on and updated this waffling tosh.

TTFN all.