Inchcockski (In Brief) – Sat 8th Feb 2020: I ended up absquatulating from reality, today! Mmm?

2020 Feb 08

2020 tttFeb08

Saturday 8th February 2020

Romanian: Sâmbătă, 8 Februarie 2020

00 Feb 08

01:30hrs: I woke to the blasting noise of the ‘Hum’, involuntarily passed wind, in somehow, with difficulty, hastened bumblingly to the wet room, and the Porcelain Throne. Only barely arriving in time again!

wd 60.25.0 2 This was one of the more painful varieties of evacuation. Auto-starting and the movement flowed, well crept so slowly and hurtfully, but there was no forcing or stopping it! One had to just sit there writhing in agony until it was over! And believe me, it felt like hours before it did so! Probably just a couple of minutes, though. I go into detail, as a warning to younger folk, get your Pancreas (the whole system really) checked at the first signs of struggling or blood! I didn’t, so more fool me, too late now! But not for you whippersnappers out there! Please!

We Apologise for the interrupted broadcast – Normal Inchcock Service is now Resumed!

6Sat03Very messy, I needed a lot of cleaning and medication afterwards, but this is all to be expected nowadays. Off to the kitchen, to get the kettle on, important things first. Haha! I took the medications, then made the brew, Glenghettie Gold, an absolutely fantastic first cup of the day brew! I took a snap from the window of the morning view.

On with the updating of the Friday post. All done for 06:00hrs. I made a start on this blog, which took hours to get to this stage. Yes, Saccades Sandra and Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley were both playing me up. Tsk!

5Fri017I stopped to have some brekkers. I considered delving into the giant pot of luxury Sicilian Lemon layered yoghourt.  (Rich British Cream and a zesty Sicilian lemon compote!)  but I resisted this time. Although it was a close call, I almost weakened! (Wish I had, now!)

6Sat04I opted for some Crunchy Nut flakes instead. I enjoyed them immensely, with no guilt showing up whatsoever! Washed the dish and cutlery, and was feeling tired now. But all my concentration would be needed now!

Then a right big marathon session on the WordPress Reader and the TFZer Facebooking. (In between wee-weeing and making mugs of tea. Har-har!) This took me five hours! Almost time to get my head down!

I had to go on CorelDraw then, to make up some graphic headers to use. More time lost, but I did enjoy doing it. Then went on the TFZer Facebooking. Another pleasurable, but time-consuming exercise! Midway through the graphicationalisationing, I took some shots of the sky, when I went to make a mug of tea.

6Sat09

Back to the computer, but things were not good with SAccades-Sandra. I didn’t lose any vision entirely, like yesterday, but focussing was too much of a hassle. So, I gave up, turned everything off, and checked to see if anything was on the Gogglebox worth watching. And there was!

6Sat10I got a quick nosh prepared. Got some McCains chips in the oven. Mini pork and pickle pork pies on the plate. Made up some Dagwood style wholemeal roll type sarnies, buttered with sliced tomatoes, and got the chips (fries) added.

Delicious! Wish I put more chips in the oven now. Hehe! A flavour rating of 7.4/10!

I got settled in the £300, second-hand, near-dilapidated, grotty-gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working, uncomfortable, rickety, rinky-dinked, rattling, rusty, resurrected, reconditioned, recalcitrant, rescued from the tip, recidivating and rotting-away recliner. That xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward. And he fitted new CCTC cameras, he erected a drone-landing platform outside and searched for my valuables, which he found and took, for safe-keeping! (I still haven’t got all of the money back yet, eight-months later).

The TV viewing was interrupted severely, by my constant going into either a Thought-Storm, my acquisition of a new to me, ‘Blankness’ where I imagined what could have been, and regretted what had been, or having a few minutes kip very occasionally.

I sort of ended staring blankly at the TV screen, but the brain was not interested, it would sooner drift off into thoughts of failures, mistakes, errors and sillyosities I had committed over the years. Sleep was not an option, and I had no choice but to listen to my own mind, as it waffled on to me…

Horrible, almost sleepless night again.

Help!

Oh, I don’t know though, losing one’s marbles seems to suit me. It’s not as bad as I feared.

Inchcockski – Sat 7 Dec 2019: A chinwagless Day, in which sanity escaped from me!

1 Dec 07

2019 ttDec 07

Saturday 7th December 2019

Scots Gaelic: Disathairne 7 Dùbhlachd 2019

01Dec 07

WD 100.20.0 Huh! 22:20hrs: I regained semi-consciousness, but almost immediately lost interest in doing so. Why? I’ll tell you; well, I’ll do my best to explain why I think this is. Bear with me please, if I get confused, ill-defined or incomprehensibly-garbled in my efforts. I know the things I want to write, but by the time the failing neurotransmitters allows me to, I’ve often forgotten what I had planned to say.

Like a few minutes ago, I had to get up to use the wee-wee bucket, this took a while, because Arthur Itis is not happy with me this morning, and every step or move of the leg or knees is a struggle. He’s never been this bad before. Naughty Arthur! I passed the INHBT (I-needn’t-have-bothered-trickling) wee-wee and got to the notepad to put down my waking thoughts, there was nothing there! Dribs and drabs returned, and I added them to the pad as and when. Hours and hours later, I’d got the Inchcock Today done, and referred to the notes, which were partly unreadable, and used them to write this explanation. (Have I lost you yet?) Here goes:

Back-to-the-current time: The mind was blankish, yet confused and almost antithetic to it’s usually being scrambled hassled by a flurry of worries, fears and concerns, as is the

normal awakening condition for me. There was a lack of interest in things an indifference, unconcernedness, that really is not me at all. Slowly, guilt took over as the head-agonising factor! This remorsefulness was adorned with contrition, misgivings, doubts, qualms, sorrow, nae, self-pity! Yes, these were faults: Guilt and Self-pity. Why is it a good question? I haven’t worked it out yet. But the EQ was not around, no feelings or emotions to help me clarify the causes. Although a vague ‘You’ll just have to cope’ message was received later in the day.

At least the constant droning and humming noises were not bothering me too much, as they would normally do.

Eventually, after being stood, leaning on the four-pronged walking stick, for I don’t know how long, musing, I went to take the morning medications and sort the prescriptions. 

6Sat05 WD 100.20.0 Unbelievable!WDPT03R The Carrington Chemist who the Medicines management lady Leoni had phoned on Wednesday morning to arrange for the Furesomide water tablets to be delivered in packets, not the bubble-blisters, has not done so! They are in the blister packs. I took a photo of them, to show how alike the tablets are, Codeine 30g, Furesomide and the Bisoprolol Beta-blockers. I have the hardest job in picking which one is the water tablet, to throw away when not needed. I reckon on a few occasions, mainly on bad pain, or shake hand mornings, I’ve dished the wrong pill, and missed either a painkiller or beta-blocker! This is not good! And only served to make me feel even worse than when I woke-up! Crabs and Grobblecraps! In fact, Grumble, Sodit & Blast, as well! I just threw the medicines onto any draw, willy-nilly

Feeling even less like interested in life, I automatically moved the handwashing onto the airer! Not even taking any care about arranging them into an optimally folded position. And not fussed about it either. This could be a miserable day.

Then I took the morning medications and made a brew of Thompsons tea. But it might as well have been a mug of the crap weak cheaper PG tips for all the interest I showed in drinking it. The tea went cold, as started updating the Inchcock Today. Which has never taken longer to get done before? The Peripheral Neuralgia was giving me a bad time now! No actual dangerous shakes of the leg, but as earlier, there were the occasional mini-trembling moments, involuntary muscle-twitching and cramping – which are usually a sign that the leg is about to go into an imitation, spontaneous, kick-out and a neuropathic drop-something and flail-about dance routine. If it had done, it could have had me off the chair onto the floor. Fear more anything pissed me off. But no, bother from the leg. The hands and fingers were a different kettle-of-fish! The finger-ends were going all over the place, when they contacted a hard surface, like the keyboard!

WDP 03RWD 100.20.0 The nerves were just not telling the brain! Just coming to the finishing off of the blog. Many hours later (Huh!) and the right hand and digits did a scoot across the keyboard and knocked it off the counter! I retrieved it, and the direction arrows on the keyboard would not work at all in WordPress! I wondered what the heck I had done to it. I searched for assistance on the web turned, without any luck. So I turned everything off and rebooted. Tried again, but it was not having it! So I opened and cleaned the inside of the board, as best I could, with the fear of dropping it again hovering over me. Got it reassembled, but no luck! I was convinced whatever I had broke or altered during my fumbling one and a half-handed to stop it falling but failing, then the farce of picking it again… I’ve lost what I was saying now! Oh, yes (just read it), had put the arrows out of action for good, and near depression dawned. One last everything off again, left it a few minutes then started up, the web came on, and I went on WordPress… and the arrow keys were now working!?!?!? Is it me? Is it the Mysteries of my beloved Woodthorpe Court. That lies somewhere between the twilight zone and a wormhole slipping through a tear in the fabric of space & the universal continuum, illusion, delusion, & hallucination! Or am I going sillier, more-hare-brained, weirder, losing it altogether?

The way my head and brain are today, I’m not coping with failures and things that are beyond my brain-power to solve. Which, going sillier, more-hare-brained or weirder, losing it altogether? Going sillier, more-hare-brained or funnier, losing it altogether? How I feel at the moment, covers anything happening. Haha!

I got some pictures off to Pinterest. Went on TFZer Facebooking. Then had a perusal of the WordPress Reader.

Well, despite everything, I must get some graphics done in advance ready to do the WP templates. No matter how rough and full of angst, I feel. (I didn’t sound too sure of myself typing this! Hehehe!)

I made a mug of tea first and took photographs of the moon above. I took then in Night Panor… no, it wasn’t; it was in Aperture Priority. Not bad results considering. The clouds were ever moving, hiding the moon, so back inside.

6Sat08

I brought the tea to the computer and pulled the curtains open on the balcony. And the mon was out again, I got the camera and back to the kitchen, banged my elbow opening the unloved, unwanted, light & view-blocking, impossible to get to for cleaning, new window. And the clouds covered the moon again. I waited while but the clouds seemed to be spreading thicker now. So back to the computer…

WDP 02lbWD 100.20.0 X3: I stubbed my *toe on the airer, *knocked the clothes off of it, dropped the mug of tea and swore silently swore! Getting down to retrieve the shirt and socks was done with less pain than usual – I used the picker-upper stick! Haha! I was getting ready to adopt a smug mode, and the *picker-upper fell to pieces in my had, the rivets had somehow come out. And *I dropped the handwashing back onto the floor, just where I’d picked it up from. No wonder my EQ indicated that I’d just have to up with things today! So, I did not get too angry-noyed, just a little. Humph! Again, with a lot more inconvenience and pain, I carefully got the washing back on the now, bent-a-little-more airer.

I got on, slowly, laboriously and with oddly painful knees, well, one poorly knee. That was from a combination of the mini-trembles, the toe-stubbing and the bending down I imagine. With the composing of this blog. Which a few hours later, I’d got as far as here!

And went to make a brew, that might get drunk this time! As I was making my way to the kitchen, I put the camera in my pocket. While the kettle was boiling, I took four snaps of scenery from the deadly, nasty, light and view-blocking kitchen window.

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WDPT07RNo Accifauxpas or WHoopsiedangleplops encountered while making the brew! And back to the computer. Swank-Mode-Adopted!

WD 100.20.0 It didn’t last long, when I got to the computer, I realised I had left the SD card in the slot! So, back to the kitchen and retook the scenic shots! Ay-yay-yay!

At last, I got around to creating some header graphics! But I was so tired now, I’d been up for thirteen-hours already. I just did a few of them on CorelDraw.

6Sat26Done in now, shattered, I’ve had my chips, well I haven’t, but I made the meal and had some. Dagwood cobs, beetroot and chips etc. sounds good to me. But it was not to be eaten.

What I did eat of it, I enjoyed, but the tummy churned and my appetite dwindled? Mmm?

I went to wash the pots and the evening’s darkening skies prompted me back into a photographicalisationing frenzy. The first photo was in Aperture Priority, the second in Night Landscape mode. I tried to take the same area in each.

6Sat27

6Sat28I was so tired now but fought off the weariness and mental-fatigue, when I noticed the house that had been being modernised for months, extensions, new roof etc. appeared to be occupied again. Seasonal lights adorned the front of the house and bushes.

I took the medications, and got settled down early in the £300, second-hand, near-dilapidated, gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working, uncomfortable, rickety, rinky-dinked, rattling, rusty, resurrected, reconditioned, recalcitrant, recidivating and rotting-away recliner. That’s the one that the horribly good-looking, handsome, taller, fitter, richer-than-me xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward. And he fitted new CCTC cameras, he erected a drone-landing platform outside and searched for my valuables, which he found and took, (I still haven’t got them back yet six-months later).

I discovered the Death on the Tyne film was being shown. I’ve not seen this one, but I so enjoyed the Murder on the Blackpool Express, made by the same company with almost the same actors in it. I couldn’t remember the title so looked it up, to find this photograph advertising it’s being shown on the Gold channel on the 15th.

1Mon03

Needless to say, the first set of commercials came on, I drifted off, to sleep! Waking well after it had finished, and felt even more angry with myself, for thinking I could watch it again on the 15th and realised I do not have the Gold channel on my TV. Shame!

WDP 02Rb.WD 100.20.0 Letting myself drift off back into the land of nod, and the Brain-Storming thoughts, fears, worries and self-hatred flooded into the grey-cell box. Agitating and stirring up failures, mistakes and terrible decisions made by yours truly!

I do wish they wouldn’t do that!

 

Inchcock Today – Tuesday 25th June 2019: Worran odd day!

2019 25 June

2019 June 24

Tuesday 25th June 2019

Africaans: Dinsdag 25 Junie 2019

wd 0.0.30 04:10hrs. I have to admit it, I woke in a foul, niggly almost execrable mood! I had been dreaming a lot, but cannot recall anything of them, I just knew I’d been suffering nightmare-like dreams. The mind was rampant with fears, nervous worries and near panic. Why? I know not!

I removed with some ease for me, my overburdened, roly-poly body from the c1968, £300 second-hand rickety-recliner. I walked unaided to make use of the EGPWWB (Emergency Grey Plastic Wee-Wee bucket), by taking a lamentable and long and surprisingly wearying LSPDOWWs (Long-Slow-Painfull-Drawn-Out-Wee-Wee). By the time I had finished this, the niggliness had departed the grey-cells. (?) Another bit of fortuitousness, I had the forethought to grab the walking stick, before making my way to the kitchen.

wd 0.0.30 I’m so glad I did. As I hobbled into the room, all hell let loose with the shaking and damaged axonotmesis-neurotmesis influenced dancing right shoulder and leg! Yet I really wished that a CCTV had been working in the kitchen! I would dare anyone, and that would include me, not to have laughed at the limbs antics! I must have looked like a cross between a tiller-girl and some old git trying his best to do the hokey-cokey, without any coordination whatsoever! Hehehe! I somehow kept my balance, but it was a close call. The getting away without going over,2Tue01 cheered me up a bit, I think.

I took a photograph of the morning view from the unwanted, unliked new kitchen window. Those with the unreachable extra panes that need cleaning, block out the light & view and need the potentially deadly to me, stepladders to be used in the event of wanting check quickly for emergency vehicles in the event of a fire alarm, which I can’t hear anyway.

2Tue02I got on with the morning’s hand washing. Only a t-shirt and the long bamboo socks rinsed them, wrang them out as best I could, and got them on the stand-up airer in the hallway.

I made up the next two medication pots for the day. Then I had to visit the Porcelain Throne then. An amazingly easy session. No bleeding from anywhere, very little pain and no messy things to clean up afterwards!

Things seemed to be getting so much easier as the morning went on. But the EQ was not going to let me get overconfident, and a warning sensation came over me.

I got the Health Checks and today’s morning medications taken. The results were: Sys 135, Dia 69, Pulse 89 and the Temperature came out as 35°c, all looked good to me.

I got on the computer to do the updating of the Monday blog. Which did take an extraordinarily long time, with all the pictures to download, get into CorelDraw and resize, then put on the post.

wd 0.0.30 To make things worse and more difficult, after an hour or two, the electric-like fingers, hands arm and shoulder started dancing again, and stayed that way for what seemed like an aeon! Tsk! Many and repeated mistakes had to be corrected, which was annoying, irritating and exasperating in the extreme! Damnations and execrations!

2Tue03wd 0.0.30 I got the blog finished an posted off at last! I decided to have a break and make a mug of tea. But could I find a walking stick? No! After walking by passing it several times, I found it in the hallway, hidden in clear view! A new mood-mode was created for how I felt at this moment: BPAFM Beyond-Pathetic-and-Feeble-Minded Mode Engaged! How sad!

2Tue03awd 0.0.30 It got even worse, I’m afraid. As I was carrying the mug of tea back to the computer desk, the damned dancing started again! The freshly poured out tea spilt over and scalded the left index finger!

After a lot of openly voiced loud cursing (Sorry neighbours!), I returned to the kitchen’s first-aid drawer and applied some cream on it! The cream bubbled when I put it on. I had to smile at this, despite my feeling well-wee’d-off at the same time!

I was almost back to the niggly outlook when I got back on the computer, as the hand finger and shoulder dancing continued for ages!

I started prepping things to start off this post going, and the doorbells rang out. As I approached the hallway, I heard the door open. It was Obersturmbannführeress Warden and Pole-dancer Deana. She’d come to test the health wrist alarm and fire alarm batteries with the control room. Both were okay.

I inquired about the appointment she was going to make for me with the intercom-fitting and installation people yesterday. She came right out with it, she has been that busy she had forgotten about it. I liked her straight honesty! She called them there and then for me, bless her cotton socks. She made a booking for next Friday 5th Julie, twixt 08:30 and 10:30hrs, which was good for me, and I thanked her. She had to shoot off, so much to do, so little time. I wonder, who was the first person who said that? Hehe!

2Tue21Dusty Springfield’s ‘I only want to be with you’ rang out from the doorbells again.

It was the mailman, with two letters and a parcel to sign for. The big envelope was the Age UK contract for the house insurance, the small one the INR Warfarin test results and the box, was another set of support-strapping from the Orthotics at the City Hospital. I was so glad it had arrived.

wd 0.0.30 I took another break from the frustrating dancing-finger controlled typing, and wet to move the washing on the airer. The Fire Alarm sounded, I would not have heard it anywhere else in the flat. I checked outside. Not using the deadly kitchen windows, but the far less harmful balcony window, but could not see any emergency vehicles below. I thought the fire-alarm testing was to be done on a Thursday.

2Tue10I started to do some TFZer Facebooking. After ten minutes, my EQ told me to check outside again from the balcony.

Aha! The fire brigade had arrived on site. I could tell by the casual and steady pace of the officers approached the foyer door, the alarm might well be another false one. They did not look happy people as they departed after yet one more false alarm from the old fogies high rise dwellings. And rightly so!

2Tue05

I returned to the computer and checked on the Google, no, BBC weather for today at 1400hrs. The Nottingham forecast looked a bit rain-soaked to me. But it was only spotting with rain outside.

2Tue06At long last, I made a start on this blog! Well gone, midday!

wd 0.0.30 And the curtains all fell off of the hooks holding them in place! What? Eh? Flipping ‘eck!

I got up on the stepladder and hooked a few rings back on.

2Tue08A make-do, for now, a temporary job, of course. What had caused this almost a phenomenon, beats me!

I had another of the frequent today, wee-wees, and made a brew of tea.

I checked if any and which Ladies Football matches might be on TV today.

2Tue20Tired out again now. I’ll get the nosh sorted and ready for watching the football later.

Mushy peas with vinegar, fish cakes and battered pollock.

Must remember the Audio clinic in the morning. The timing is fair enough, anyway. I can catch either the 09:30 or at a push the 10:30 bus. I made a reminder note and hung it on the computer screen!

2Tue17The drizzle lasted all afternoon and evening on and off, but as Paul Daniels used to say: ‘Not a lot!’

Well, what a soccer match I watched.

Italy v China. A look at the match statistics on the right, tells a tale for me!

 I felt the need to visit the Porcelain Throne, so I did so. Hehe!

wd 0.0.30 What a farcical event, ridiculous in the extreme, hardly believable. Bonkers and brought on a lot of self-doubts.

I settled on the throne, and mid-struggle to get the evacuation started… I fell asleep!

I woke up an hour or so later, perplexed, wondering where I was, and why? The shakes started as I rose up top ‘clean things’, and the aroma was a little putrid. It took a minute or two to get myself together and sorted out mentally.

Half in a strange daze, I cleaned up and made my way back to the £300 second-hand, c1968 recliner, and think I fell asleep almost immediately.

Worran odd day!

Inchcock: Wed 20th Feb 2019:

2019 Feb 20

Wednesday 20th February 2019

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 20 Chwefror 2019

WDPac 00:30hrs. I woke up with the mind back in its ‘Confusion-Mode.’ I lay there, worrying, fretting, getting sad then angry, losing willpower, then feeling almost confident, next, admitting that failure and defeat are a natural part of my existence. Then, I delved into the world of delusions, eccentricity, weirdness, fears, and disorientation. Eventually returning to the state of recognising the untenability of life and readiness to meekly plod on in my born-loser, incompetent, non-achieving, trying life: embracing my lack of education, social skills, lackadaisicalness, and lethargic languorousness.

No singing to myself this morning, no chirpiness. Just a gloom; a cloud that followed me around from the moment I’d freed my horrendously stomach-heavy body from the Circa 1968, second-hand £300 recliner. This gloom, remained for a while today, it took me ages to release myself from it.

WDPac I almost robotically answered the call to the Porcelain Throne. Where I was knocked down another peg or two when I found that Little Inchies fungal lesion had been bleeding overnight. The evacuation was alright, though. Then I did the Health Checks.

2Tue12c

I got the computer on, and I don’t know why, but I made a blog about ‘Cides’ and the human race. This took me hours and hours, but from somewhere the determination to get it finished and posted was paramount to me. It’s not even a smart or witty post, but I persisted and got it done and sent off.

I titled it: Inchcock Thoughts on the danger of Mankind’s Addiction to ‘Cide’s

This may have represented my state of mind at the time, I suppose?

I have to say that after posting it off, it was a relief to me, and my outlook warmed a little, and Adam Faith’s ♫ ‘The Time has Come’ ♫ flowed quietly from my lips. Being a fool comes easy to me, you know!

I updated the Tuesday blog, and this took me another four hours to get finished. I was ready to get my head down now. I’d gone through the mental torment, medicationalised certain areas with great discomfort, spent eight hours or more computerising what didn’t need doing, cheered up a tad and now the day was almost over! I need help I think? Hehehe! 

3Wed03I made some brekkers, Marmite based I must admit. The Vegemite I bought, is as good as Marmite and I love them both.

It always makes me think of Marie Young in Australia when I have any of the Vegemite. Such a wonderfully witty woman, who loves animals too. Hello Marie? Hope all is well over there with you and the pets? Give fatigued a bit of fuss from me, please. And have an ether-cuddle! ♥

3Wed05a1Went to wash the mug and make another brew. And noticed a bit of smoke far away?

I was now very tired, but not feeling so down.

WDPac I went for another Porcelain Throne visit, and for the second time this week, I nodded off on the seat! Luckily, this time, I did not fall over when I woke up. Tsk!

Thought I’d better get the Health Checks and nosh sorted out while I was conscious. Hahaha! 

3Wed05a1aDid some bacon in the oven, when ready I added the cooked rashers to the saucepan with the tomatoes with basil and oregano seasoning on the hot plate. Then put the part-baked cobs in the hot oven, while the bacon marinated with the tom’s a little longer.

Bootiful! A Taste-Rating of 9/10!

WDPac I went through the usual routine with the TV. Repeatedly nodding and waking. I soon gave up and turned off the television. Did the last Health Checks and settled down to sleep.

Which I did for over six hours, which was welcome.