Inchcock: Mon 13 Apr: A new hatred today, of my inadequacies, incapabilities, incompetencies and infirmities! Devastating depression! Damn-life!

April 13

2020 ttttApr13

But Clap, I will!

Monday 13th April 2020

Mongolian: 2020 оны 4-р сарын 13-ны Даваа гараг

000 April 13

GM0106:00hrs: I Woke up, wanting a wee-wee. Moved and felt the wet warm wriggly feeling from the lower regions. So, I launched (Well, struggled out of) my overweight wobbly-stomached body out of the £300, second-hand, none-working recliner, and made my way to the wet-room. Where the innards decided I also needed to use the Porcelain Throne. Heck of a job, a touch of reluctance, constipation coming on I think? But the evacuation was still far less painful than it has been of late.

1Mon01WD 50.0.0 While I was performing, the mind appeared to be calmer than last night, and a new temporary, no doubt, eagerness and willingness showed in my actions. Scary! Hehe! I think I might have been rubbing the knee bruise last night in my sleep, it looked a tad tender, but no real pain as such.

I returned to the rickety-recliner room and checked for any signs of nocturnal nibbling, or somnambulating having taken place. No tipped over items or bread or biscuit crumbs were found. I’d had a much needed, agreeable and encouraging six-hours kip. Which meant less time to get things done today. (I do moan on, don’t I?)

WDP 10R01L1Mon05bI made a tasty strong brew of my beloved Thompsons Punjana tea, ominously passed wind, and took the morning medications.

With rising from my slumber so late, the latest for many a month, it was light already. So, I took a few photographs of the scenes outside.

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It was strange not to see any pets, birds or tellurians of any kind at all!

1Mon02I went back into the main room and decided not to get dressed or washed yet. But just put the dressing gown and slippers on, the pins looked much improved on yesterday.

WDP 13LWD 50.0.0 Then as I was setting up the computer, I had a visit from one of Peripheral Pete’s, right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances. As serendipitously, I fell bum first into the recliner as I lost balance. I’ve now got bleeding from Harold’s haemorrhoids and a new bruise coming up, but I was not bothered about this, cause it could have been a lot worse, even fatal! Especially with being a bank holiday. Off to the wet room, to tend to Little Inchies fungal lesion and Harold’s piles. Got things cleaned and medicated without too much hassle or pain, this time.

1Mon06WD 50.0.0 I used the last kitchen roll in the wet-room, so went to fetch some more from the junk room. One loose one, and another roll from the new pack of three. I noted that the new roll, same brand and price and both from Iceland, was thinner and narrower than the one I bought before. Bit of a con going on here methinks? The rolls I use as a handkerchief and glasses and blood cleaner for Little Inchie and Harold are not going to last long! Gullibleiitis Inchcock!

I got on the computer, and CorelDraw to make up a header graphic. Well, that didn’t last for long.

Virg D brown

Of course, I am not in the least bit jealous. Oh, no. Well, yes, I am! Hehehe!

However, I struggled on, battling repeated Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitter failures, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley and Shaking Shaun’s interruptions! Caterwauling and Ululations mode adopted! Finally getting the blog updated, emailed and posted off.

1Mon06bWD 50.0.0 I phoned Jenny to see about Tuesday’s trip to the bank. I know it’s nothing new, but I did feel a right fool! It is Wednesday when I have to go, not Tuesday. I checked on the Google Calendar, and saw I’d made another faux pas! Humph! Nottingham’s Bunglebrain strikes again! I am a flipping pain! Jenny kindly offered to ring the bank to make sure what time they open, and she’ll let me know, and will order a taxi for me, too! That’s so kind of the busy gal. ♥

1Mon06aI got some pictures on Pinterest. Then I went on the WordPress Reader to catch up. Then had hours on the TFZer Facebooking, I love it!

WD 50.0.0 I tried to get an order on for Iceland for bread and their wonderful tasting beefburgers really, but no slots were available again. Shame!

1Mon07The door chime rang! I was the Amazon delivering the keyboard cleaner. No instructions with it. Not that I have time to use it anyway. It’s gone midday already! Josie handed me the parcel, and scooted off, wisely from any close contact.

I thanked her as she disappeared in her door, holding her nose. This turmoil being caused!

1Mon08Back on the computer, at last, to make a start on this blog. After around ten minutes, the door chime rang out again. It was Josie, telling me a loaf and bottle of milk had been unexpectedly delivered from Nottingham City homes. Now that was nice of them! Great timing too! Josie again was there and put the things inside the door for me. 

I gave Jane and Pete a tinkle, but no answer. I’m hoping they have gone out somewhere, but I’ll ring again later. I hope they are both alright.

WD 50.0.0 1Mon11I tried Iceland again, still no slots. Blooming good job that the NCH helped me out! Looks like thick white bread sarnies tonight. I’ve got an out of date can of pork knuckle left, I might have a bash at that! When; I don ‘t know, it’s gone 16:00hrs now.

I got on with the updating again. Then, I went to make a brew of Thompsons Punjana and spotted some dog walking their owner, so I took a couple of shots. Several actually, but only these two came out worthy of using.

1Mon12

1Mon10I took a picture of the clouds in the sky.

At least this one was to be useable first effort. Hehe!

The weather and wind seemed warm today.

WD 50.0.0 I gave Jane another ring on the mobile. It didn’t connect, just three bleeps and it cut off? Also, a message said I have ‘Active Alerts’, what are they?

I did a search for ‘Active Alerts’ on Google. I got this explanation: Wireless Emergency Alerts (WEA, formerly known as the Commercial Mobile Alert System (CMAS), and prior to that as the Personal Localized Alerting Network (PLAN)), is an alerting network in the United States designed to disseminate emergency alerts to mobile devices such as cell phones and pagers. Obviously an American reason.1Mon13

So, I searched again. 

This time I got, Mobile Alert System: with this showing on the right.

I wasn’t doing very well, was I?

So another try.

1Mon14

I’m not learning much here!

I looked in the messages, but nothing there?

WD 50.0.0 I tried Jane again. Got to ringing, but no answer. I’m worried, now. I managed to get hold of Pete’s number from the memory and rang him.

WDP 002bThank God, everything was alright! Stuttering-Stephany made it hard for the pair to understand what I was saying a bit.

Jane had somehow turned down her ringing volume on her £499 new mobile phone. (I jest, it was £520 really). Hahaha!

Xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete and I had a natter, and I rang Jane back to make sure her £500, Samsung Smartphone Galaxy S9 (Double Sim) 128GB was set right now.

1Mon14aThen, now relaxed knowing things were alright with Jane and Pete, my thoughts turned to fodder! Pork knuckle, seaweed crispies, bread and butter and out of date, but tasty, last two bits of cheese. Clementine drink, lemon yoghourt and an apple. Taste, 7/10.

Ate it up, rushed to wet room for a wee-wee, took medications and down in the recliner and actually fell asleep!

1Mon19I woke and put the gogglebox on. Kept hearing musical sounds that I thought might be the intercom, a few times I got up grabbed the stick and checked the box and the door, but no flashing box or anyone at the door.

This happened three or four times, and it was driving me bonkers! The next time, I checked again, and…

WD 50.0.0A WD 50.0.0: WDP 4GLEvery fibre of faith, interest in life, and a dose of self-hatred like never before, came over me! It was a plumber from the flat below!

I was flooding the apartment beneath me! He went in and I went to check the kitchen, fearing I’d left the tap running again.

It turned out the bathroom sin tap had been left running, with a cloth-rag blocking the drain hole! The wet room and carpet flooded, the drain blocked, a right liquid mess!

The demoralisation and a sickening-gut feeling, and disgust in myself were instant! The man shot off back to the poor devil’s flat below, telling me it just needs a bit of a mop-up.

Duodenal Donald kicked in moments later, and is still this morning giving me bother like it hasn’t for years!

Self-loathing, Thought-Storms, I felt pathetic and useless. I set about getting the carpet out, and the n the slow job of mopping up and cleaning. The peripheral neuropathy, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley and Shaking Shaun, combined to ensure I kept tipping over the bucket, dropping the mop, and banging various parts of myself against anything hard-enough to hurt me! Every step from wet room to the kitchen to empty the mop bucket got increasingly more difficult and painful.

By the time I’d got it done as best I could, I as in real agony and more annoyed with myself than ever. Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, Back-Pain-Brenda, Dizzy Dennis, Anne Gyna, and even Hernia Henry joined in giving me some hassle.

Harold Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion were both bleeding, with all the bending. It was a bad enough scenario, my hating myself for my stupidity, without so much physical pain ganging up on me.

I could not get to sleep again. The body was stiffening, and depression rounded off my uncomfortableness. This may mean the end of my tenancy? I can’t blame them.

I’ve been asking for help on this blog, with my memory, despair, deafness, Mind Storms etc. for years as they all got worse.

Things are not good, and I am now at a severe depth of darkness, like never before.

The Coronavirus, only makes things even worse.

The fixity of purpose, the strength to fight on, all weaken at times like this.

Inchcock Today: Sun 12 Apr 2020: Sister Jane, called me a poindexter today. I’ll look it up later. Hehe!

April 12

I don’t read newspapers, or watch the news so often nowadays!

2020 ttttApr12

Sunday 12th April 2020

Basque: 2020ko Apirilaren 12a, Igandea

000 April 12

GM 128.0.10005:25hrs: It took me that long to get to sleep, I slept through to 0525hrs, I can’t recall any dreaming though. But waking up didn’t seem like a reasonable idea at the time.

I’ll tell you why. As I manipulated my overly sized body mass, to jiggle a bit, to work out which ailments were active this morning;

WDP 1LdWD 150.0.100 First thing as I hedged my bulk to the right. The Pillow-Shaker Fire Alarm activated. Naturally, this diverted my disease, injuries, and bodily-scars, seeking plans, as I fumbled to get my hearing aids in, grabbed the walking stick, and with ears peeled, I went to investigate the reason. A sort of delayed realisation came to me, and a semi-panic took a hold.

  • WD 150.0.100 My apartment fire alarm was not going off, so I assumed it was the main one, which I have to open the front door so I can hear it. I did the usual touching the door handle with the back of my hand to see if it was hot. (I was pretty pleased with myself for remembering to use the left hand, in case Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters that fail on the right side of my body were on strike, [I became Smug-and-Satisfied temporarily]) Had the nerve-ends gone into failed-mode, they would nit informed the brain, and I just might have opened the door to be greeted by a wall of flame or black smoke in the mush. But no sounds heard, so I went to check out of the kitchen window to see if the fire brigade were on site.
  • WD 150.0.100 Not an easy job, with these new thick-framed, view-blocking, rain letting-in windows. The wide window ledges that stick out far too long, mean I have to stand on the stepladder to see the view below! (I bet this isn’t mentioned in the Nottingham City Homes advertising or commercial bumf anywhere!)
  • wd 150.0.100A WD 150.0.100 I had to go through to get the stepladders from the junk room and managed, with no difficulty gave myself a cracking, whinge-making toe-stubbing against the ladders as I tried to carry them and the stick back to the kitchen!
  • wd 150.0.100A I opened the dangerous unwanted, unliked, fear-giving window, and as I climbed up to take a look outside, I hit my Arthur Itis-ridden knee against the corner of the ladder platform. (I think I might have said something like ‘Oh bother!’ at the time) It took me several injuries, and a lot of time, before I found out, there are no fire engines anywhere.
  • WD 150.0.100 I gingerly alighted the stepladder. Ad sense, logicality and obviousness came over me (A rarity indeed!) I asked myself, “Why the %☺@$ hell didn’t you just go on the balcony to look? I had many answers to this self-imposed question, but none of them was realistic, believable, or sensible! My confidence, never high at the best of times, sank a little more.

I took the stepladder back. It’s hard work carrying that with the stick, a bruised toe, and a very-most painful patella; I can tell yer! As I went, I maundered on at myself and realised things were not going get any better, my EQ told me. I was mentally preparing for some type of zemblanity, disaster, or general disappointment.

Having aboulomania, pathological-indecisiveness, a lack of confidence, and inability to do anything about this makes life difficult at times. The bad memory, insomnolence, and Stuttering Stephanie don’t help much. Hello, I’m wavering toward self-pity again! Come on Inchie, buck yourself up, take it like a man… well, imitation man, at least!

I got the area around the £300 second-hand, c1968, sickeningly beige-coloured, not working recliner cleared up! I could not see any signs of nocturnal nibbling, but things were not in their usual places or positions, and slow but sure, the various ailments started kicking off as I tided up a bit. Fluid-Retention Robert had filled the legs a bit more. Blotchy Belinda has visited the groin area. Little Inchies fungal lesion had been bleeding, and the blood had dried (I’m not looking forward to the medicating at all!). Clopidogrel Clive had removed no end of his spots and odd marks overnight? Reflux Roger and Hard-Breathing Boris were giving me some gip! Toothache Terence was back. And now, Colin cramps has just started on the hands and fingers.

7Sun01I tried to get a delivery slot from Iceland. It appears the yare fully booked until next Friday. Shame!

WD 150.0.100 Computing, template, the updating for hours. By the time I stopped, I had a hatred of Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, and they’re forever failing and returning, failing and… Never mind! I checked on the Amazon situation regarding the deliveries.

7Sun02

Looking good. The Mini-cheddars ‘Pickle flavoured’, should be here today. I must resist tearing the box open to get at a bag. Hehe! The wristband alerts for Warfarin will be arriving, of course, how long it will be until these ones split and break is anyone’s guess. They are from a different supplier, and a lot dearer than the others were. So, I hope that means they will last longer.

The ablutions were started much later than planned, with all the cockups and tribulations this morning. I have to make Josie’s nosh afterwards.

Back later.

I’m back.

WD 150.0.100 Ablutionisationing Report: Only the one cut shaving. A new bruise, but feeling more content.  The bruise I got when picking up the dropped bar of carbolic soap in the shower. (I can’t see myself getting any more carbolic ever again. It was hard enough to find even before the lock-down! – Sob!) I banged my knee on the grab rail while showering, I’ve a little swelling to remind me of it. I did drop the showerhead again, but grabbed at it, caught it in time, (Godsmacking innit!) and pulled it to my body, hitting a certain delicate, but redundant nowadays, part on my anatomy. (Ouch!)

7Sun04WD 150.0.100 After drying off and cleaning the shower and sink. I had a look at the ever-morphing pins. Bit for meat on them I thought, then realised it was Fluid Retention Fred’s doing! Another oddity, (my life is not short of them!), was the new bruising the knee, was showing up as white? Well, I’ll be blown! Clopidogrel Clive was attempting a comeback as well. Belinda Blotches was visiting the legs as well. And, the usual for me paleness and anaemic, whiteness, had gone a, well, I don’t really know what colour it is, deep cream or a gungy spotted pale brown?

WD 150.0.100 As I was getting dressed, Colin Cramps had a go at my hands and fingers again, causing me to drop the body spray can. I couldn’t help but the funny side. My dropping things are usually controlled by Nicodemus, Shaking Shaun Dizzy Dennis and occasionally a perhaps a Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance from the right leg. What if they don’t like this imposter Colin Cramps doing their job? I’m losing it here!

7Sun06I got the bit of handwashing done, not a lot, as Paul Daniels used to say. The bath towel, and the thin dressing gown. No socks, the damned sock-glide isn’t going have me today! I got the towel done wrung and hung, then did the gown, and hung that in the wet room.

7Sun07Now, this makes me sound demented and a bit odd, (Fair enough I am!), but can you not see an expression of the sock-glide on the shower chair?

He looks awfully pee’d off to me. My having avoided any conflict or battles with him for two days now (I’ve not worn any socks, Hehehe! That got him!). Is he angry or sad? Perhaps he’s missing the little lumps of my finger-ends his deadly spring clip usually provides for him? Is he annoyed the Nicodemus has not made me drop or fall over it lately? The ailments rarely all come on together, but they may be planning an uprising! I’ve gone again, lost it!

7Sun03Time to get Josie’s meal prepared. I didn’t take to long to get it ready. The cheesy potatoes, (the highlight of the meal my customers tell me), had to be made with Sainsbury’s substituted for Leicester grated cheese, a mixed bag. I got it served up for the gal.

The mixed grated cheese had Mozarella in it, 7Sun04anot the tastiest of cheeses, and when warmed up got very stringy. But, beggars can’t be choosers! Without Jenny’s help, I wouldn’t have had any cheese to use. Stuck like glue to the utensils! I left the cutlery soaking in a bowl of washing up liquid and bleach for a few hours.

Not only did it get me in a mess that needed extra cleaning, but it was tasteless! But for my share, when I get it, I’ve some caramelised red onion chutney to spice it up. Hahaha!

I got carried away in making some small Good Morning photos, and side shots for the blogs, it was soon nearly 16:00hrs.

WD 150.0.100 7Sun11I went to visit the Porcelain Throne, and midway through the evacuation, the intercom chimed out! It was the Amazon man, with the highlight of the day, the pickle flavoured min cheddars, the wristlet alert bands and some pots to use to separate the seasoning.

7Sun05WD 150.0.100 I left the box until I had done the chipping off of the Mozzarella cheese from the cutlery in the bowl.

It came off okay, with a little, no, much effort and elbow grease!

7Sun12All three items were there. I got them sorted, and could almost taste the Branston Pickle flavoured mini cheddars as I did so. The pots had what I wanted in then the screw on lids, as opposed to the snap-on ones I have at the moment. There are times when Nicodemus’s 7Sun12anerve-end die on me, and it’s difficult to sense if the lids are on or not.

Not haven eaten due to my getting too involved with the CorelDrawing, I realised it would be a while before I can get my nosh. So I took a bag of the mini-cheddars from the box; and what a pleasant, serendipitous, wonderful discovery! They were 50gr packets, not as I  had expected, 30gr. I made a brew and gobbled a full pack, by gum, they were great!

WD 150.0.100 Well, the fatigue dawned, but did I stop CorelDrawing, did I ‘eck as. I was on a roll, almost as if I was on a drug-trip! I had to concede defeat to the fatigue in the end. I was struggling to get the computer to close down. my heart sank. If I lose this outlet to life, it will be life-changing.

WD 150.0.100 Then, as it does to me so often, I realised I had totally forgotten about the cheesy potatoes in the oven! Spittling-Splurging-Sparrowhawks! I scuttered to the kitchen to check, almost tripping over the walking stick in my haste.

WD 150.0.100 Ah! All was well, which momentarily confused me. How could the mash be in the oven for over three hours and not get burnt? My question was soon solved when I realised I had not turned the oven on! Well, I couldn’t remember turning it off from doing Josie’s potatoes?

I’m getting worried about my mind and memory of late.

6Sat01

My much-missed mug. RIP!

Anyroad, I put two of the Iceland beefburgers in with the cheesy spuds and turned on the oven. Draycup! I made a brew of tea, and for some unknown reason. I began to mourn the loss of my old pottery mug. It was genuine remorse, but why?

I reckon the mind is on its last legs. Tsk!

WD 150.0.100 I went to turn off the computer and was not sure if I’d hit sleep or turn-off. I fancied I’d put it on sleep, but then I’d turned off the power. I turned the juice back on, and completely forgot to press the mini hidden button, and panicked a bit! Thinking my pressing sleep, and turning off the plugs, had damaged something. It really is scary, when you forget how to turn your computer on! I was in two minds whether to mention this at all. But, in keeping with my reveal-all policy on blogging, I did. Well, you know that cause it’s written here. I’m going off-line-logically a bit here!

WD 150.0.100 I spent so long sorting out what I had and hadn’t done with the computer, and got it going alright again (Sigh of relief the size of Asia!), by the time I got back to the pots and burgers, they really had got burnt! But not too much for me, luckily I like them well-done, like this!

7Sun39I got the plate filled. Took the med’s with me, along with the fodder, Clementine drink, and the light lemon yoghourt.

The potatoes were really not good at all, the crispy bits, when applying the caramelised red onion chutney, were okay. The cheese, well, I might as well have not used it, so weak and tasteless it was. The tomatoes were not too bad. Surprisingly, the burgers were great! I wish I’d got more in now, Humph! 

1Mon06aWD 150.0.100 This made me try again to get a delivery slot from Iceland. Nope! The nosh was granted a rating of 5/10, passable, just, thanks to the beefburgers; that I cannot get any more of, the lemon yoghourt and clementine drink. The medications tasted the same as usual, 10/10, Hahaha! 

I got the pots washed, and tried purposelessly and unsuccessfully to get some sleep. Morpheous wasn’t having it again! Even the little two-minute nod-offs were absent without leave! Grobbledigrooks! 

After hours of trying to nod-off, I perused the TV channel guide, and to my pleasure, unpremeditated serendipitously found that a Red Dwarf extended film was just about to start on the box. Aha, great, one of my favourites and I hadn’t seen this one before! Oh, joy abounded! 

7Sun40I rang Sister Jane to advise her of Red Dwarf about to start on the gogglebox, thinking that xyrophobia-suffering, left a fortune in a will of someone he didn’t know, pools and lottery winner, who retired at 50 years of age and has women chasing him, tall, good looking, well-built, Brother-in-Law Lucky-Pete liked Red Dwarf.  It was not an easy conversation, Jane was on the Bollinger Brut Special Cuvée again. Hehehe! I’ll get in trouble for telling of that!

About an hour into the 2-hour Red Dwarf programme, and enjoying it immensely, that damned Morpheous came on, and I missed the rest of the film! Waking up with a start, as the closing credits were scrolling down the screen!

WDP 12bThen, could I get back to sleep again? Nope! I lay there for another couple of hours, Thought-Storms brewing, self-hatred, fears, worries, they all pestered me, before getting to sleep. For three hours!

Life is not a bed of roses!

Inchcockski – Saturday 11th April 2020: If it can go wrong, it will!

April 11

2020 ttttApr11

Saturday 11th April 2020

Sudanese: Sabtu Kaping 11 April 2020

0000 April 11

GM GreensLWD 0.40.0 05:20hrs: I finally stirred, after luxuriating in about three hours sleep. Which was tormented by dreams of a disturbing nature, of which I have only impressions, no real detail, other than it took place underground, and ghouls were in there somewhere?

Despite the scarceness of kip, I almost bounded out of the £300, second-hand rickety recliner, within minutes of my waking up? Clutched at the walking stick, and made my way dodderingly to the kitchen…

I got to the kitchen, took the medicines, applied the medications; Saccades-Sandra drops, olive-oiled the ear-holes, tincture of the tooth, creamed the Harold’s haemorrhoid’s, Phorpain gelled Arthur Itis’s knees, and made a brew, all without the need of a wee-wee or the Porcelain Throne! This was not natural?

WD 0.40.0 Booted-up the computer to update the Friday post. And had to create a template for the day first! But it was a marathon job, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Dizzy Dennis and Shaking Shaun all giving me a bashing. The worst, being Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitter nerve ends, continually working and stopping, making typing almost impossible. I was continually making errors without realising it and having to make corrections. I have no doubt there will be many that I missed, which is disappointing and frustrating.

WD 0.40.0 The knowledge that I will eventually have to stop doing these blogs, as it gets harder and takes me longer every day, and knowing they can do nothing to help, sometimes get me down. But while I can, I will. I love doing them. Trying to add a bit of humour to them, must help me, in a fashion. Hey-ho, moan, groan and whine, over!

Having, many hours later got the job nearly finished, and my xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete called. Obviously, the lad hadn’t received the link yet, and he likes to read it early in the day with Jane. We had a natter, and I noticed that Stuttering Stephanie was with me again, getting more frequent lately. Anyway, he and Jane sounded in fair spirits.

Jane nowthenThey have had their big monthly parcel of food from Nottingham County Council delivered. Marvellous I thought. I quoted something along the lines of, A pool’s and big lottery winner, with a car and an electric bicycle, who live in a mansion, have been left a fortune in someone’s will, get their food hamper delivered. I’m told that because my aorta-valve replacement is not disabling enough, I don’t qualify. The peripheral neuropathy and dying nerve ends, the Stroke, using a stick or trolley-guide to walk, Dizzy Dennis, falling down or into something almost every day. Dropping things several times every day, Shaking Shaun and Shoulder-shuddering-Shirley, Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger sticking, Hernia-Henry, being deaf, Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters dying, having Arthur Itis (Rheumatoid arthritis), don’t seem to matter to anyone else but me! It’s a good job I’m used to suffering and pain, innit! Pete did laugh! That cheered up.

I got the link sent off. Went on the WordPress Reader, and got this blog started. It took me 7 hours plus, to get this far. I fear the time is getting close to having to stop, this really gets to me. The very thought of it, brought on my depression, like never before. No point in fighting it. I stopped and went to make a brew and have a look outside, see if any of the dog walkers were out, so I could photograph them. Disappointingly, no one was about. But, I did find some photographs I’d missed off yesterday, of some doggies taking their humans for a walk:

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I all but dropped the Nikon camera, coming back in from the window again! Darned good job I had the wrist-loop around my hand! Phew!

The rest will have to be in shorthand I’m afraid. The ailment was taking over, and everything took so long. Sorry. It’s hours past my normal head-down time already.

6Sat15Posted off the ailment, and started a template for this blog. As I started to create it, the doorbell chimed out.

It was Amazon, with the Nasal spray and Clementine juice.

6Sat16I opened the spray box and left the heavier juice one in the hallway.

Back to the computer, and all sort of problems developed! The landline rang and flashed. It was Jenny, bless her. Her Sainsbury’s order had 6Sat17arrived, and Frank was on his way down with the items I’d asked to be added for me.

I hurried to put them away. Jenny had kindly written a list for me. That’ll £26 plus £13 I owe her now. The shop had substituted some bits. Mini cheddars, which I’m not too keen on, and last week they did the same, a double size pack as well. I’ve got the pickle flavoured ones arriving tomorrow via Amazon as well. She’s got some lemon yoghourt though. Tomato juice, washing up liquid, cherry-scented? And a tub of salt. Bless her cotton socks!

I tried to get the computer to take the photographs but ended up having to do it in a long-winded fashion, which cost me even more time.

I rang Jane and Pete to get my mobile number, cause I needed it to get back on the photo site. But I was too late, and it timed-out. So now, I don’t know where the heck I stand with it all.

Rang Jenny back, I was gasping a bit and Stuttering Stephanie was on form! I thanked her and told her I was going to go to the bank on Monday to get some money to pay her what I owe her with. She kindly said it was Bank Holiday on Monday, so I can’t get it then! Tsk! We nattered a bit, and we decided I’d go on Wednesday. She generously said she would write a note for me to give the taxi driver on Wednesday, asking him or her to wait while I go ion the bank, and bring me back afterwards.

Then I did some updating on this blog, but not for long. I need rest and sleep badly now.

I stopped and decided to get something for a meal. The easiest will be bacon in the oven, and a tin of tomatoes, I can use the last of the bread up with it.

Not feeling so good now. I hope to be back in the morning, to finish things off. TTFN.

Sunday Morning: 0545hrs: Updating.

6Sat18I got the meal, I had a can of tomatoes, added some vinegar and hickory to it. The bacon, I cut of some of the fat and did it in the oven. Got it served with the medications. For once a good tasty one. Flavour rating: 7.5/10.

Got the dish in soaking, and had a go at the computer problem again.

WD 0.40.0 I had more bother with the computer. Had to supply a password that was my mobile number, but I couldn’t find what it was! I rang Sister Jane at the Bratton Towers, and she and Pete eventually found it for me. But by the time I got to put it on it had timed-out! So, no progress there. Tsk!

The TV on, but of no interest, however, the need and desire for sleep were being ignored by my body and mind.

The landline burst forth and flashed. Sister Jane, concerned about the computer locking me out. Thought it might be hackers. I told her about the lack of sleep problem, saying how it doesn’t matter now about being woken up, as I can’t get to sleep in the first place. I think she might have been upset a smidge, and rang off, thinking I was moaning about being woken, which didn’t matter at all in fact.

This irked me, and I range her back, but no answer.

Switched to another programme and there was an interesting documentary on an underground city in France, and how the military had used it over the years. I thought my xyrophobia-suffering, chaetophorous, anti-epilation Brother-in-Law Pete might be interested in it. I rang again and got through this time.

There I was enjoying a great natter and chinwag with Jane, and I thought I heard a beeping noise. This was annoying me, I told Jane, and I went with the mobile in hand to have a look around. I was giving a running commentary as I investigated, but, could not find the source! Then a bleep-bleep, and I lost the connection.

I got back in the rickety recliner, and tried to ring back ‘This number is unavailable’. Huh!

Then I actually fell asleep!

Coronavirus, pavement cyclists, wars and insanity! It’s a funny old world, innit?

Inchcockski (In Brief) – Sat 8th Feb 2020: I ended up absquatulating from reality, today! Mmm?

2020 Feb 08

2020 tttFeb08

Saturday 8th February 2020

Romanian: Sâmbătă, 8 Februarie 2020

00 Feb 08

01:30hrs: I woke to the blasting noise of the ‘Hum’, involuntarily passed wind, in somehow, with difficulty, hastened bumblingly to the wet room, and the Porcelain Throne. Only barely arriving in time again!

wd 60.25.0 2 This was one of the more painful varieties of evacuation. Auto-starting and the movement flowed, well crept so slowly and hurtfully, but there was no forcing or stopping it! One had to just sit there writhing in agony until it was over! And believe me, it felt like hours before it did so! Probably just a couple of minutes, though. I go into detail, as a warning to younger folk, get your Pancreas (the whole system really) checked at the first signs of struggling or blood! I didn’t, so more fool me, too late now! But not for you whippersnappers out there! Please!

We Apologise for the interrupted broadcast – Normal Inchcock Service is now Resumed!

6Sat03Very messy, I needed a lot of cleaning and medication afterwards, but this is all to be expected nowadays. Off to the kitchen, to get the kettle on, important things first. Haha! I took the medications, then made the brew, Glenghettie Gold, an absolutely fantastic first cup of the day brew! I took a snap from the window of the morning view.

On with the updating of the Friday post. All done for 06:00hrs. I made a start on this blog, which took hours to get to this stage. Yes, Saccades Sandra and Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley were both playing me up. Tsk!

5Fri017I stopped to have some brekkers. I considered delving into the giant pot of luxury Sicilian Lemon layered yoghourt.  (Rich British Cream and a zesty Sicilian lemon compote!)  but I resisted this time. Although it was a close call, I almost weakened! (Wish I had, now!)

6Sat04I opted for some Crunchy Nut flakes instead. I enjoyed them immensely, with no guilt showing up whatsoever! Washed the dish and cutlery, and was feeling tired now. But all my concentration would be needed now!

Then a right big marathon session on the WordPress Reader and the TFZer Facebooking. (In between wee-weeing and making mugs of tea. Har-har!) This took me five hours! Almost time to get my head down!

I had to go on CorelDraw then, to make up some graphic headers to use. More time lost, but I did enjoy doing it. Then went on the TFZer Facebooking. Another pleasurable, but time-consuming exercise! Midway through the graphicationalisationing, I took some shots of the sky, when I went to make a mug of tea.

6Sat09

Back to the computer, but things were not good with SAccades-Sandra. I didn’t lose any vision entirely, like yesterday, but focussing was too much of a hassle. So, I gave up, turned everything off, and checked to see if anything was on the Gogglebox worth watching. And there was!

6Sat10I got a quick nosh prepared. Got some McCains chips in the oven. Mini pork and pickle pork pies on the plate. Made up some Dagwood style wholemeal roll type sarnies, buttered with sliced tomatoes, and got the chips (fries) added.

Delicious! Wish I put more chips in the oven now. Hehe! A flavour rating of 7.4/10!

I got settled in the £300, second-hand, near-dilapidated, grotty-gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working, uncomfortable, rickety, rinky-dinked, rattling, rusty, resurrected, reconditioned, recalcitrant, rescued from the tip, recidivating and rotting-away recliner. That xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward. And he fitted new CCTC cameras, he erected a drone-landing platform outside and searched for my valuables, which he found and took, for safe-keeping! (I still haven’t got all of the money back yet, eight-months later).

The TV viewing was interrupted severely, by my constant going into either a Thought-Storm, my acquisition of a new to me, ‘Blankness’ where I imagined what could have been, and regretted what had been, or having a few minutes kip very occasionally.

I sort of ended staring blankly at the TV screen, but the brain was not interested, it would sooner drift off into thoughts of failures, mistakes, errors and sillyosities I had committed over the years. Sleep was not an option, and I had no choice but to listen to my own mind, as it waffled on to me…

Horrible, almost sleepless night again.

Help!

Oh, I don’t know though, losing one’s marbles seems to suit me. It’s not as bad as I feared.

Inchcockski – Sat 7 Dec 2019: A chinwagless Day, in which sanity escaped from me!

1 Dec 07

2019 ttDec 07

Saturday 7th December 2019

Scots Gaelic: Disathairne 7 Dùbhlachd 2019

01Dec 07

WD 100.20.0 Huh! 22:20hrs: I regained semi-consciousness, but almost immediately lost interest in doing so. Why? I’ll tell you; well, I’ll do my best to explain why I think this is. Bear with me please, if I get confused, ill-defined or incomprehensibly-garbled in my efforts. I know the things I want to write, but by the time the failing neurotransmitters allows me to, I’ve often forgotten what I had planned to say.

Like a few minutes ago, I had to get up to use the wee-wee bucket, this took a while, because Arthur Itis is not happy with me this morning, and every step or move of the leg or knees is a struggle. He’s never been this bad before. Naughty Arthur! I passed the INHBT (I-needn’t-have-bothered-trickling) wee-wee and got to the notepad to put down my waking thoughts, there was nothing there! Dribs and drabs returned, and I added them to the pad as and when. Hours and hours later, I’d got the Inchcock Today done, and referred to the notes, which were partly unreadable, and used them to write this explanation. (Have I lost you yet?) Here goes:

Back-to-the-current time: The mind was blankish, yet confused and almost antithetic to it’s usually being scrambled hassled by a flurry of worries, fears and concerns, as is the

normal awakening condition for me. There was a lack of interest in things an indifference, unconcernedness, that really is not me at all. Slowly, guilt took over as the head-agonising factor! This remorsefulness was adorned with contrition, misgivings, doubts, qualms, sorrow, nae, self-pity! Yes, these were faults: Guilt and Self-pity. Why is it a good question? I haven’t worked it out yet. But the EQ was not around, no feelings or emotions to help me clarify the causes. Although a vague ‘You’ll just have to cope’ message was received later in the day.

At least the constant droning and humming noises were not bothering me too much, as they would normally do.

Eventually, after being stood, leaning on the four-pronged walking stick, for I don’t know how long, musing, I went to take the morning medications and sort the prescriptions. 

6Sat05 WD 100.20.0 Unbelievable!WDPT03R The Carrington Chemist who the Medicines management lady Leoni had phoned on Wednesday morning to arrange for the Furesomide water tablets to be delivered in packets, not the bubble-blisters, has not done so! They are in the blister packs. I took a photo of them, to show how alike the tablets are, Codeine 30g, Furesomide and the Bisoprolol Beta-blockers. I have the hardest job in picking which one is the water tablet, to throw away when not needed. I reckon on a few occasions, mainly on bad pain, or shake hand mornings, I’ve dished the wrong pill, and missed either a painkiller or beta-blocker! This is not good! And only served to make me feel even worse than when I woke-up! Crabs and Grobblecraps! In fact, Grumble, Sodit & Blast, as well! I just threw the medicines onto any draw, willy-nilly

Feeling even less like interested in life, I automatically moved the handwashing onto the airer! Not even taking any care about arranging them into an optimally folded position. And not fussed about it either. This could be a miserable day.

Then I took the morning medications and made a brew of Thompsons tea. But it might as well have been a mug of the crap weak cheaper PG tips for all the interest I showed in drinking it. The tea went cold, as started updating the Inchcock Today. Which has never taken longer to get done before? The Peripheral Neuralgia was giving me a bad time now! No actual dangerous shakes of the leg, but as earlier, there were the occasional mini-trembling moments, involuntary muscle-twitching and cramping – which are usually a sign that the leg is about to go into an imitation, spontaneous, kick-out and a neuropathic drop-something and flail-about dance routine. If it had done, it could have had me off the chair onto the floor. Fear more anything pissed me off. But no, bother from the leg. The hands and fingers were a different kettle-of-fish! The finger-ends were going all over the place, when they contacted a hard surface, like the keyboard!

WDP 03RWD 100.20.0 The nerves were just not telling the brain! Just coming to the finishing off of the blog. Many hours later (Huh!) and the right hand and digits did a scoot across the keyboard and knocked it off the counter! I retrieved it, and the direction arrows on the keyboard would not work at all in WordPress! I wondered what the heck I had done to it. I searched for assistance on the web turned, without any luck. So I turned everything off and rebooted. Tried again, but it was not having it! So I opened and cleaned the inside of the board, as best I could, with the fear of dropping it again hovering over me. Got it reassembled, but no luck! I was convinced whatever I had broke or altered during my fumbling one and a half-handed to stop it falling but failing, then the farce of picking it again… I’ve lost what I was saying now! Oh, yes (just read it), had put the arrows out of action for good, and near depression dawned. One last everything off again, left it a few minutes then started up, the web came on, and I went on WordPress… and the arrow keys were now working!?!?!? Is it me? Is it the Mysteries of my beloved Woodthorpe Court. That lies somewhere between the twilight zone and a wormhole slipping through a tear in the fabric of space & the universal continuum, illusion, delusion, & hallucination! Or am I going sillier, more-hare-brained, weirder, losing it altogether?

The way my head and brain are today, I’m not coping with failures and things that are beyond my brain-power to solve. Which, going sillier, more-hare-brained or weirder, losing it altogether? Going sillier, more-hare-brained or funnier, losing it altogether? How I feel at the moment, covers anything happening. Haha!

I got some pictures off to Pinterest. Went on TFZer Facebooking. Then had a perusal of the WordPress Reader.

Well, despite everything, I must get some graphics done in advance ready to do the WP templates. No matter how rough and full of angst, I feel. (I didn’t sound too sure of myself typing this! Hehehe!)

I made a mug of tea first and took photographs of the moon above. I took then in Night Panor… no, it wasn’t; it was in Aperture Priority. Not bad results considering. The clouds were ever moving, hiding the moon, so back inside.

6Sat08

I brought the tea to the computer and pulled the curtains open on the balcony. And the mon was out again, I got the camera and back to the kitchen, banged my elbow opening the unloved, unwanted, light & view-blocking, impossible to get to for cleaning, new window. And the clouds covered the moon again. I waited while but the clouds seemed to be spreading thicker now. So back to the computer…

WDP 02lbWD 100.20.0 X3: I stubbed my *toe on the airer, *knocked the clothes off of it, dropped the mug of tea and swore silently swore! Getting down to retrieve the shirt and socks was done with less pain than usual – I used the picker-upper stick! Haha! I was getting ready to adopt a smug mode, and the *picker-upper fell to pieces in my had, the rivets had somehow come out. And *I dropped the handwashing back onto the floor, just where I’d picked it up from. No wonder my EQ indicated that I’d just have to up with things today! So, I did not get too angry-noyed, just a little. Humph! Again, with a lot more inconvenience and pain, I carefully got the washing back on the now, bent-a-little-more airer.

I got on, slowly, laboriously and with oddly painful knees, well, one poorly knee. That was from a combination of the mini-trembles, the toe-stubbing and the bending down I imagine. With the composing of this blog. Which a few hours later, I’d got as far as here!

And went to make a brew, that might get drunk this time! As I was making my way to the kitchen, I put the camera in my pocket. While the kettle was boiling, I took four snaps of scenery from the deadly, nasty, light and view-blocking kitchen window.

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WDPT07RNo Accifauxpas or WHoopsiedangleplops encountered while making the brew! And back to the computer. Swank-Mode-Adopted!

WD 100.20.0 It didn’t last long, when I got to the computer, I realised I had left the SD card in the slot! So, back to the kitchen and retook the scenic shots! Ay-yay-yay!

At last, I got around to creating some header graphics! But I was so tired now, I’d been up for thirteen-hours already. I just did a few of them on CorelDraw.

6Sat26Done in now, shattered, I’ve had my chips, well I haven’t, but I made the meal and had some. Dagwood cobs, beetroot and chips etc. sounds good to me. But it was not to be eaten.

What I did eat of it, I enjoyed, but the tummy churned and my appetite dwindled? Mmm?

I went to wash the pots and the evening’s darkening skies prompted me back into a photographicalisationing frenzy. The first photo was in Aperture Priority, the second in Night Landscape mode. I tried to take the same area in each.

6Sat27

6Sat28I was so tired now but fought off the weariness and mental-fatigue, when I noticed the house that had been being modernised for months, extensions, new roof etc. appeared to be occupied again. Seasonal lights adorned the front of the house and bushes.

I took the medications, and got settled down early in the £300, second-hand, near-dilapidated, gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working, uncomfortable, rickety, rinky-dinked, rattling, rusty, resurrected, reconditioned, recalcitrant, recidivating and rotting-away recliner. That’s the one that the horribly good-looking, handsome, taller, fitter, richer-than-me xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward. And he fitted new CCTC cameras, he erected a drone-landing platform outside and searched for my valuables, which he found and took, (I still haven’t got them back yet six-months later).

I discovered the Death on the Tyne film was being shown. I’ve not seen this one, but I so enjoyed the Murder on the Blackpool Express, made by the same company with almost the same actors in it. I couldn’t remember the title so looked it up, to find this photograph advertising it’s being shown on the Gold channel on the 15th.

1Mon03

Needless to say, the first set of commercials came on, I drifted off, to sleep! Waking well after it had finished, and felt even more angry with myself, for thinking I could watch it again on the 15th and realised I do not have the Gold channel on my TV. Shame!

WDP 02Rb.WD 100.20.0 Letting myself drift off back into the land of nod, and the Brain-Storming thoughts, fears, worries and self-hatred flooded into the grey-cell box. Agitating and stirring up failures, mistakes and terrible decisions made by yours truly!

I do wish they wouldn’t do that!

 

Inchcock Today – Tuesday 25th June 2019: Worran odd day!

2019 25 June

2019 June 24

Tuesday 25th June 2019

Africaans: Dinsdag 25 Junie 2019

wd 0.0.30 04:10hrs. I have to admit it, I woke in a foul, niggly almost execrable mood! I had been dreaming a lot, but cannot recall anything of them, I just knew I’d been suffering nightmare-like dreams. The mind was rampant with fears, nervous worries and near panic. Why? I know not!

I removed with some ease for me, my overburdened, roly-poly body from the c1968, £300 second-hand rickety-recliner. I walked unaided to make use of the EGPWWB (Emergency Grey Plastic Wee-Wee bucket), by taking a lamentable and long and surprisingly wearying LSPDOWWs (Long-Slow-Painfull-Drawn-Out-Wee-Wee). By the time I had finished this, the niggliness had departed the grey-cells. (?) Another bit of fortuitousness, I had the forethought to grab the walking stick, before making my way to the kitchen.

wd 0.0.30 I’m so glad I did. As I hobbled into the room, all hell let loose with the shaking and damaged axonotmesis-neurotmesis influenced dancing right shoulder and leg! Yet I really wished that a CCTV had been working in the kitchen! I would dare anyone, and that would include me, not to have laughed at the limbs antics! I must have looked like a cross between a tiller-girl and some old git trying his best to do the hokey-cokey, without any coordination whatsoever! Hehehe! I somehow kept my balance, but it was a close call. The getting away without going over,2Tue01 cheered me up a bit, I think.

I took a photograph of the morning view from the unwanted, unliked new kitchen window. Those with the unreachable extra panes that need cleaning, block out the light & view and need the potentially deadly to me, stepladders to be used in the event of wanting check quickly for emergency vehicles in the event of a fire alarm, which I can’t hear anyway.

2Tue02I got on with the morning’s hand washing. Only a t-shirt and the long bamboo socks rinsed them, wrang them out as best I could, and got them on the stand-up airer in the hallway.

I made up the next two medication pots for the day. Then I had to visit the Porcelain Throne then. An amazingly easy session. No bleeding from anywhere, very little pain and no messy things to clean up afterwards!

Things seemed to be getting so much easier as the morning went on. But the EQ was not going to let me get overconfident, and a warning sensation came over me.

I got the Health Checks and today’s morning medications taken. The results were: Sys 135, Dia 69, Pulse 89 and the Temperature came out as 35°c, all looked good to me.

I got on the computer to do the updating of the Monday blog. Which did take an extraordinarily long time, with all the pictures to download, get into CorelDraw and resize, then put on the post.

wd 0.0.30 To make things worse and more difficult, after an hour or two, the electric-like fingers, hands arm and shoulder started dancing again, and stayed that way for what seemed like an aeon! Tsk! Many and repeated mistakes had to be corrected, which was annoying, irritating and exasperating in the extreme! Damnations and execrations!

2Tue03wd 0.0.30 I got the blog finished an posted off at last! I decided to have a break and make a mug of tea. But could I find a walking stick? No! After walking by passing it several times, I found it in the hallway, hidden in clear view! A new mood-mode was created for how I felt at this moment: BPAFM Beyond-Pathetic-and-Feeble-Minded Mode Engaged! How sad!

2Tue03awd 0.0.30 It got even worse, I’m afraid. As I was carrying the mug of tea back to the computer desk, the damned dancing started again! The freshly poured out tea spilt over and scalded the left index finger!

After a lot of openly voiced loud cursing (Sorry neighbours!), I returned to the kitchen’s first-aid drawer and applied some cream on it! The cream bubbled when I put it on. I had to smile at this, despite my feeling well-wee’d-off at the same time!

I was almost back to the niggly outlook when I got back on the computer, as the hand finger and shoulder dancing continued for ages!

I started prepping things to start off this post going, and the doorbells rang out. As I approached the hallway, I heard the door open. It was Obersturmbannführeress Warden and Pole-dancer Deana. She’d come to test the health wrist alarm and fire alarm batteries with the control room. Both were okay.

I inquired about the appointment she was going to make for me with the intercom-fitting and installation people yesterday. She came right out with it, she has been that busy she had forgotten about it. I liked her straight honesty! She called them there and then for me, bless her cotton socks. She made a booking for next Friday 5th Julie, twixt 08:30 and 10:30hrs, which was good for me, and I thanked her. She had to shoot off, so much to do, so little time. I wonder, who was the first person who said that? Hehe!

2Tue21Dusty Springfield’s ‘I only want to be with you’ rang out from the doorbells again.

It was the mailman, with two letters and a parcel to sign for. The big envelope was the Age UK contract for the house insurance, the small one the INR Warfarin test results and the box, was another set of support-strapping from the Orthotics at the City Hospital. I was so glad it had arrived.

wd 0.0.30 I took another break from the frustrating dancing-finger controlled typing, and wet to move the washing on the airer. The Fire Alarm sounded, I would not have heard it anywhere else in the flat. I checked outside. Not using the deadly kitchen windows, but the far less harmful balcony window, but could not see any emergency vehicles below. I thought the fire-alarm testing was to be done on a Thursday.

2Tue10I started to do some TFZer Facebooking. After ten minutes, my EQ told me to check outside again from the balcony.

Aha! The fire brigade had arrived on site. I could tell by the casual and steady pace of the officers approached the foyer door, the alarm might well be another false one. They did not look happy people as they departed after yet one more false alarm from the old fogies high rise dwellings. And rightly so!

2Tue05

I returned to the computer and checked on the Google, no, BBC weather for today at 1400hrs. The Nottingham forecast looked a bit rain-soaked to me. But it was only spotting with rain outside.

2Tue06At long last, I made a start on this blog! Well gone, midday!

wd 0.0.30 And the curtains all fell off of the hooks holding them in place! What? Eh? Flipping ‘eck!

I got up on the stepladder and hooked a few rings back on.

2Tue08A make-do, for now, a temporary job, of course. What had caused this almost a phenomenon, beats me!

I had another of the frequent today, wee-wees, and made a brew of tea.

I checked if any and which Ladies Football matches might be on TV today.

2Tue20Tired out again now. I’ll get the nosh sorted and ready for watching the football later.

Mushy peas with vinegar, fish cakes and battered pollock.

Must remember the Audio clinic in the morning. The timing is fair enough, anyway. I can catch either the 09:30 or at a push the 10:30 bus. I made a reminder note and hung it on the computer screen!

2Tue17The drizzle lasted all afternoon and evening on and off, but as Paul Daniels used to say: ‘Not a lot!’

Well, what a soccer match I watched.

Italy v China. A look at the match statistics on the right, tells a tale for me!

 I felt the need to visit the Porcelain Throne, so I did so. Hehe!

wd 0.0.30 What a farcical event, ridiculous in the extreme, hardly believable. Bonkers and brought on a lot of self-doubts.

I settled on the throne, and mid-struggle to get the evacuation started… I fell asleep!

I woke up an hour or so later, perplexed, wondering where I was, and why? The shakes started as I rose up top ‘clean things’, and the aroma was a little putrid. It took a minute or two to get myself together and sorted out mentally.

Half in a strange daze, I cleaned up and made my way back to the £300 second-hand, c1968 recliner, and think I fell asleep almost immediately.

Worran odd day!

Inchcock: Wed 20th Feb 2019:

2019 Feb 20

Wednesday 20th February 2019

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 20 Chwefror 2019

WDPac 00:30hrs. I woke up with the mind back in its ‘Confusion-Mode.’ I lay there, worrying, fretting, getting sad then angry, losing willpower, then feeling almost confident, next, admitting that failure and defeat are a natural part of my existence. Then, I delved into the world of delusions, eccentricity, weirdness, fears, and disorientation. Eventually returning to the state of recognising the untenability of life and readiness to meekly plod on in my born-loser, incompetent, non-achieving, trying life: embracing my lack of education, social skills, lackadaisicalness, and lethargic languorousness.

No singing to myself this morning, no chirpiness. Just a gloom; a cloud that followed me around from the moment I’d freed my horrendously stomach-heavy body from the Circa 1968, second-hand £300 recliner. This gloom, remained for a while today, it took me ages to release myself from it.

WDPac I almost robotically answered the call to the Porcelain Throne. Where I was knocked down another peg or two when I found that Little Inchies fungal lesion had been bleeding overnight. The evacuation was alright, though. Then I did the Health Checks.

2Tue12c

I got the computer on, and I don’t know why, but I made a blog about ‘Cides’ and the human race. This took me hours and hours, but from somewhere the determination to get it finished and posted was paramount to me. It’s not even a smart or witty post, but I persisted and got it done and sent off.

I titled it: Inchcock Thoughts on the danger of Mankind’s Addiction to ‘Cide’s

This may have represented my state of mind at the time, I suppose?

I have to say that after posting it off, it was a relief to me, and my outlook warmed a little, and Adam Faith’s ♫ ‘The Time has Come’ ♫ flowed quietly from my lips. Being a fool comes easy to me, you know!

I updated the Tuesday blog, and this took me another four hours to get finished. I was ready to get my head down now. I’d gone through the mental torment, medicationalised certain areas with great discomfort, spent eight hours or more computerising what didn’t need doing, cheered up a tad and now the day was almost over! I need help I think? Hehehe! 

3Wed03I made some brekkers, Marmite based I must admit. The Vegemite I bought, is as good as Marmite and I love them both.

It always makes me think of Marie Young in Australia when I have any of the Vegemite. Such a wonderfully witty woman, who loves animals too. Hello Marie? Hope all is well over there with you and the pets? Give fatigued a bit of fuss from me, please. And have an ether-cuddle! ♥

3Wed05a1Went to wash the mug and make another brew. And noticed a bit of smoke far away?

I was now very tired, but not feeling so down.

WDPac I went for another Porcelain Throne visit, and for the second time this week, I nodded off on the seat! Luckily, this time, I did not fall over when I woke up. Tsk!

Thought I’d better get the Health Checks and nosh sorted out while I was conscious. Hahaha! 

3Wed05a1aDid some bacon in the oven, when ready I added the cooked rashers to the saucepan with the tomatoes with basil and oregano seasoning on the hot plate. Then put the part-baked cobs in the hot oven, while the bacon marinated with the tom’s a little longer.

Bootiful! A Taste-Rating of 9/10!

WDPac I went through the usual routine with the TV. Repeatedly nodding and waking. I soon gave up and turned off the television. Did the last Health Checks and settled down to sleep.

Which I did for over six hours, which was welcome.