Inchcock’s Escape from Lock-down, No.7, to town. Pictographically

Nervously, I departed, my beloved Woodthorpe Court,

Wondering, if I really ought,

But off I poddled, my expectancies at nought,

Taking my quandaries, feeling relatively taut,

My nerves on edge and tension straught!

The bus-ride was painful and tense, oh, golly!

Feet under the wheels as brakes,

As I sat holding the trolley,

Then I got the nervous shakes,

Sure I would overspend my lolly!

Got to town, and nearly got ran over,

Cold, I wished I’d put on an extra pullover,

A van nearly hit me, moreover,

I swore at the man to show I was no pushover!

I made my way to the Poundsaver store,

Searching for milk tubs, Frazzles and more,

The knee gave way, and I ended up on the floor,

Some ladies, got me up, Gawd I was sore,

They had milk, but I got Frazzles & more,

Paid and left, with a bank balance more, poor!

I had a walk around the City Centre,

Limping now, I felt even ancienter,

The coffee shops looked full, but I’m not a frequenter,

Then one of the Pavement cyclist’s flew by,

If I could, I’d have given him a smack in the eye!

I never saw a policeman. I wonder why?

It looked like rain in the sky,

So I went inside, to keep myself dry!

The Exchange arcade, it was barren of folk,

So many retailers, closed-down, a pig-in-a poke,

Rent £78,000 per annum, it’s no joke,

Service Charge £17,144, what lady or bloke,

Who can afford this? No wonder they’ve gone broke!

The drizzle hadn’t come, so out I went,

Some time in Slab Square, I spent,

Street sleepers, yobboes, arguing, but no police sent,

My frustrations I wanted to vent,

The knee hurting, my money spent,

Getting home to Codeines was my intent!

To the Queen Street bus-stop,

Struggling with my purchases from the shop,

On to the L9 bus I did hop,

Well, struggled, and into the seat did flop,

I was so glad when we got to the Winwood Heights stop!

I alighted the bus, well, fell off of it,

I did feel a right twit!

No injuries, I felt tired, but quite fit,

Off to Woodthorpe Court, I did flit!

Not a soul in sight, for a talk,

So I struggled along Chestnut Walk,

No much thinking en route, the brain had lost its torque!

Into the decorative, welcoming lobby, I did walk!

I tooketh a photo, getting into the lift,

Can’t be accused today, of being a spendthrift!

I’d bought some pressies and a Christmas gift,

I was feeling proud, not peeved or tift,

For once, my thoughts were not all adrift,

There weren’t any at all if you get my drift?

I’d seen folk arguing, and one shoplift,

And yet, I didn’t feel in the slightest miffed!

Frazzled, I’m glad to say – Yes! Hehehe!

Inchcock’s Third Escape from the Lock-Down, to Nottingham. Photographically recorded!

Inchcock’s Third brave but stupid, Escape from the Lock-Down

We understand, that the Nottingham City Council Security, the Police, and the newly-formed Boy Scouts Woggle-Anti-Lock-Down-Escapers-Retrieval-Team are after him, again!

He arrived at Upper Parliament Street, where he spied and ogled some Nottinghamian ladies, on his way into the Poundland Store, had a Dizzy Dennis visit, and came out with more unwanted goods, such as Zoflora disinfectants, Carnation milk pots, Cooked beef misshapes, and 3×8 bags of his destroyers-to his diet, Frazzles!

He paid the lady, who helped him when he had his funny-turn and dropped his money on the floor, thanked her and made his way to the Bargain Shop on Milton Street. Observing a pair of fine legs-displaying young Nottinghamiam lady, crossing the road against the cross-walk lights. He forgave her we understand.

He patiently waited for some fine bottom-shaped, Nottinghamian Mothers to get there ankle-snappers locked securely in the pushchair, then entered the store. Hoping they would have some of the Pakistani made potato cakes, and lemon air-spray in stock. They didn’t. But the old fool felt so guilty at the thought of not buying anything, he bought a pack of four-mini oven trays, for £1.99, and left to walk through Trinity Square, up the incline, so as to take some pictures of Trinity Walk, but got yet another visit from Dizzy Dennis, and hobbled down to Upper Parliament Street.

The first of the Pavement Cyclist he saw on the short hobble, all-but ran into him. He claims to have called out, “You silly boy!” and waved at him.

Investigations are underway to find out what he actually shouted!

He limped down Queen Street to Nottingham’s Slab Square.

His near-miss at being run into again by another Nottingham Pavement Cyclist, (he says) drew a slightly more forceful response. The old grumpy claimed he said “Tsk! You rascal!”

He walked across to South Parade, where he took a shot of the side of the Council House. Not many folks there, so he turned back and took one of the Square.

He hobbled down Arcade Walk. Amused at how the Nottinghamians were totally ignoring the signs written on the paving stone, to keep to the left.

St Peter’s Square; and the silence was overbearing.

He says he felt like a disaster was about to take place, as he avoided another of the many Nottinghamian Pavement Cyclists.

He told our reporter, that he wanted after over a year and a half, to go into the M&S Foodhall, to get some treats from there ready-made meal section for himself. Shame that. He could not gain entry with his walker to any door but one, all the others have stairs or step that needed tackling to get in. So, after a long painful hobble around he found the doorway, and for his bother, got walked into by two rather large ladies coming out. He could not tell what they said to him, but the words were accompanied by some well-used, superior class sneers and curled lips.

Then he had to walk for what seemed miles, to get to the lift down to the Food Hall. Luckily, there was no one wanting to use the lift, which pleased him, but felt odd, the place used to be very busy all of the day? When he got down, it was a very sad sight! The Coronavirus has had a shocking impact, for M&S. Fridges were curtained off and not in use at all! The usually well-stocked shelves looked bare, by comparison now. 

The fool paid £2 for a tiny bag of small potatoes, £1 for a mini tray of basic mushrooms, £2 for small-box of Frites, and £2.50 for four minuscule potato-rostis!

He got to the checkout and had another Dennis Dizzy visit, and Stuttering Stephanie hit him. He claims he was overcharged, but who knows, in the state he was in, owt could have happened.

The poor old senile nincompoop struggled to get up the lift and out of the one door he could use, and onto Lister Gate again.

Back wearily up Exchange Walk, with his famously-reliable EQ, telling him that hassle of some sort was on the way. Which didn’t take long to arrive!

He took a zoomed-in shot with his little Canon camera towards King Street, as a Pavement Cyclist zoomed by his, and he felt the draught the speeding idiot made!

Another Pavement Cyclist came into view.

Then another one, too!

This one came close to hitting the old codge, he came from the rear. Inchcok refused to tell me what actual words he shouted at this Pavement Cyclist.

This particular Pavement Cyclist gave our Nottinghamian pensioner a few looks!

The old scrote carried on his way up to the bus stop, and a final Pavement Cyclist belted by him. He claims he was tired, pee’d off and Dizzy Dennis was visiting him again at this stage. There might be something in what he says cause he can’t remember the bus ride back to Winwood Court!

He says he didn’t see a single policeman all day!

The can recall getting off of the bus though, he cracked his ulcered ankle on the trolley-walkers right-hand back wheel!

This was written and potomagraphed, under great stress. Just thought I’d mention it!

Inchcock’s Great Escape! Photographing pavement cyclists, chinwags, and nit-picking, to his heart’s content!

2Tue13a

Fanmarveloustic! Chinwags, From a Socially acceptable distance, of course! And great weather!

Well, Jenny, bless her, delivered the lemon bleach and yoghourts she’s ordered for me good and early. Left them near the doorstep. Thus, I had time to rush about, (this may be a slightly excessive description) and get ready for my much longed for, my first trip out on the bus into town, for months! Excitement flooded the brain!

I made a complete hash of getting ready. It’d been so long since I went out, many things confused my poor old stale, addled brain:

  • I had to leave the socks off, cause they were too painful to wear!
  • Thus, I had agony with the feet and toes. But no matter, I was in my seventh heaven, about to escape into the outside world again!
  • Where were the unused for nine weeks flat keys? Found them quickly
  • Where was the bus-pass card, unused for nine weeks? This took yonks to find!
  • Where was the cash card? This took an aeon to find!
  • Time was getting on, so I put on the coat I last went out in. The heavy one!
  • Going to be interesting fun this, no hearing aid batteries!

I got the three-wheeled walker-guide, made sure some spare shopping bags were in it. And a few pressies in case I encounter any of the regular kind shop staff. And off I set!

Picture based record of the best day out for months. Well, it the first one!

Down in the elevator.

2Tue14

Checked on the electronic notice board, no rush after all. 12-minutes before the bus was due! A hobble down Chestnut Walk

2Tue14a

Met several tenants, and had a chinwag or two, en route to the bus stop.

At the stop, people were mostly being sensible and keeping to the social distancing rules. I had a natter with Margaret, Christine and Steve. The bus arrived, and Christine seemed to be aware of my nervousness getting on the bus.  On the short trip down the hill, she made me feel comfortable as we chinwagged.

I followed others who had got off the bus, down to the bus stop for a ride to town. Oh, dear, I was a tad confused getting on, but someone put me right. Each second side-saddle seat had been taped off and not in use. But there were not any available. Now there I was with my trolley, and in a pickle as to what to do. But a gentleman saw me in a ponder, and got up from a side-saddle, and moved to another seat, freeing it for me. Bless him!

We all got off at Victoria Centre, Christine had to remind I needed this stop. Haha! I chatted with her for a while, and she told me of the L9 bus being on a two hour Saturday timetable, and that I needed to get the bus back at 11:05hrs.

I felt so cared about, it was lovely.

2Tue14b

I hobbled, (and the feet were giving my terrible gip) along Milton Street, and called into the old Poundstretcher shop. They, like the other shops, had set a new layout, and the in-door had been blocked off. I had a hunt around the grocery shelves, in search of some Pakistani potato cakes. But could not find any. But I still got to the checkout with; A can of Bonners BBQ sauce, Italian lemon cookies (Froletti Al Limone), Largeish bottle of Light Soy Sauce at £1.49. You’ll like this, a small packet of… ready for it; Asolo Dolce, Alla Marmellata di Arance! Which was Strudel with orange jam! Haha! And, All’Arancia Limone cookies. Finally, a face-mask, for a quid! I didn’t find out until I got home and could use the magnifying glass, it was made in Turkey.

2Tue14c

I still found it hard to believe how few people were about. Milton Street, apparently the busiest in Nottingham City Centre, had six Nottinghamians, and so many closed stores!

2Tue14d

As I crossed over Lower Parliament Street to get to the Poundland store, four cyclists came along the pavement, more or less at the same time. I struggled to get the camera out, by then there were only the two in the above picture left in view.

Into the shop, and they too had changed things around. I got a bit puddled trying to find the disinfectants, and I asked a lady assistant where they were; I followed her non-verbal finger that pointed towards the shop door, thanked her, and went to find them. The maze of aisles was challenging to manoeuvre around, with so many being blocked by the shelf fillers. Not that I blame them, they’ve got a job to do. With hopes high, I approached the fresh food fridge, almost tasting Pork Farms pie as got there. But, no, they didn’t have any. Which is a good thing really, I shouldn’t eat them anyway. But I did spot the tasty Frankfurters were in stock. I can’t work out why, but this brand, despite having less meat in than others are so filling and flavoursome. That’s tonight’s nosh sorted! Potatoes, peas, mushrooms, tomatoes and franks!

I did overspend, though!

WDPBaWD 150.0.0 02 I got to the checkout. As I was struggling anyway to put the basket on the counter, guess what? Without any warning or twitches, Peripheral Pete’s right-legs did a Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance routine, and to make things more embarrassing, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley had a bash at me! The basket tipped off the counter, and I made things worse by grabbing at it and spilling everything out onto the floor! Grobognangles! A lady arrived to help me, I moved out of her way, and she calmly gathered the goods and put them back in the basket and onto the counter for me. I mumbled my apologies, and the Tut-tutting from those behind me grew louder! To make those waiting angrier and even more likely to belt me one in the kisser, I’d bought a bottle of disinfectant, that was two for the same price as one, a quid. The kind lady pointed this out to me and called for someone to get another bottle for me. This was not making me very popular at all!

Yet the understanding of the serving lady was so much appreciated. The leg was still twitching a bit, and I feared it might ‘Dance-off’ again. So I paid the lady, thanked her, and hobbled to the door. I swear a heard a ginormous ‘Sigh’ from behind me!

2Tue14e

Getting out back on the pavement, I took a shot of Parliament Street traffic; or lack of it. It was a sad sight. Made worse by so many obstreperous, leary, ignorant, dangerous, uncaring pavement cyclists. Notably, the scruffy-haired, tattooed neck and ear tab young delinquent who almost ran into me while I was taking the photo above, from behind! While I had the camera out, I turned to my left and took a shot of the end of Milton Street, then got in one of the closed-down shops’ doorways and sorted the weight distribution of the things in the trolley-basket and two carrier bags.

2Tue14f

I’d bought a bottle of Aquafresh mouthwash, the two disinfectants for a pound, Frankfurters, Cheeslets, cashew nuts, a concentrated Lemon & mint, and Lemon disinfectants, and a (Not joking) Lemon & Sherbert freshener!

2Tue14g

As I was passing the end of Milton Street, I was nearly assaulted by two pavement cyclists, from either direction! I caught a snap of the younger of the two illegal, contemptible, parasitic, moronic,  spit-worthy urchins in this picture above.

2Tue14h

Now here’s a rare sight, Milton Street with no moving traffic on it!

2Tue14i

I got along to, and down King Street. The whole thing seemed so, almost hallucinatory. All I could see down the hill were two people! Weird!

2Tue14j

As I got towards the bottom of the road on my way to the Slab Square, it got crowded, (Hahaha!) The spunk-bubbling, repugnant, detestable, unlikeable, arrogant pavement cyclist put on a display here. Unfortunately, I only caught this one parasite coming up the hill with my trusty Canon lens.

2Tue14k

A little further down, and sod me, another sycophantic, tellurian organism of a pavement cyclist appeared. But I contained my hatred, fear and desire to knock the froward, mordant, noxiously pestiferously whippersnapper-bugger off of his bike… mainly cause he’d only belt the hell out if afterwards. Hahaha!

2Tue14L

A handful of Nottinghamians in the Slab-Square, the quietness was eerie, and Nottingham’s Fothergill Watson designed building opposite, showing a sharp contrast the newer erections in the background, and was a touch saddening.

2Tue14m

I turned to make my way to the bus stop, and a smidge of concern suddenly came over me. “What happens if the Coronvirus makes a comeback? And how come, it hasn’t seen off many pavement cyclists? Makes you think, dunnit?

2Tue14N

Ah, another PC (Pavement Cyclist) made an appearance, as I turned up Queen Street towards the L9 bus stop.

The mind wandered as I limped slowly up the hill, Brian Clough’s statue on my right, The old Prudential Buildings, more pavement cyclists, not a sign of a policeman all day, how come I’ve gone for nearly two days without needing the porcelain throne?

2Tue15

The sheer magnificence of Fothergill Watson’s architectural designs. How come, I’ve gone so long without wanting a wee-wee? I was really into the mind-straying and changing routine, as I got to the top of the hill. But it came to a sudden end.

WD 150.0.0 02 When I caught my foot on the wheel of the trolley as I secured it, in the middle of the pelican crossing refuge, to take this photo of Parliament Street, in all its bleakness. The burning, throbbing pains from the toes and souls of the feet were excruciating, and that’s no exaggeration. It ended my day out, in a despicably nauseating style. But it wasn’t quite finished yet.

2Tue14O

I waited for and caught the L9 bus. Having to sit with the trolley in front of me was a bit awkward and difficult. The brakes on the three-wheeler would not apply? Which meant I had to sit leant forward, holding onto the trolley, to stop it rolling away for the whole journey. This stopped my blood flow, and Shuddering Shirley and Colin Cramps accompanied me. However, once Christine got on the bus, I concentrated on her amusing and witty tales. We had a laugh or a few en route home. She kindly didn’t run off, but walked at my steady pace and chatted as we walked the length of Chestnut Walk back to our beloved Woodthorpe Court. We waited for the lift, and Chrissie went up as we said our farewells to each other. It felt like I’d been out for hours and hours, and the fatigue was dawning. But, when I took a snap of the electronic notice board, as I did when I departed, showed me that I’d only been out from 09:20 to 11:41hrs.

2Tue14p

I got the lift, and with there still being no call for a wee-wee or the Porcelain Throne, I put the purchasers away and made a super-duper mug of Thompsons Punjana.

———————————————————————————

3.7 hours out in the fresh air,

I have to say the weather was fair,

Pavements Cyclist apart,

And the toe-stubbing on the cart,

It made the day for this worrywart,

I’m so glad to be back in my lair!

GC June 14e
Cheers, folks!

Inchcock Today – Tuesday 20th February 2018

Tuesday 20th February 2018

Africaans: Woensdag 21 Februarie 2018

0220hrs: I stirred a few times, just like yesterday morning, with no desire, urge or interest in actually getting out of the £300 second-hand recliner. I think it was on the fourth attempt I managed to coax the brain to accept my commands and got out of the chair and went to the Porcelain Throne session. Not too bad this one; a little less messy.

Did the Health Checks and took the medications.

0330hrs: Then got the computer on to finish off yesterday’s post and start creating the advance drafts for the next few days.

Got them finished at 0730hrs, as the Morrison man delivered the food. Got them stored away.

Did the ablutions, during which I used the Morrison’s soft quilted, Aloe Vera toilet rolls. What a farce. Get them anywhere near water, antiseptic cream or shaving foam and they disintegrate, leaving tiny little bits of twisted paper everywhere! Even when used for the purpose they were designed for, they then cause you with a messy, painful retrieval job to tackle! Tsk and Humph! Be Warned folks!

Started this off to here, and got the nibbles and off to the Obergruppenfurheress Wardens Temporary Porta-Cabin, on the way to catch the bus into Arnold and the Audio Clinic there.

Took this photographicalisation of the middle block build. I think the lads have done well on Monday and Tuesday, it appears they have started another floor going.

There were no wardens in the hut. Just one bloke. I put the nibbles for the Obegruppenfurheresses in their fridge. Only the usual Sourdough bread and a freebie bottle of Sports Water from Morrisons. Got it today cause of the GUM clinic visit on what is the typical day, Thursday. I sat myself down and got the crossword book out.

Welsh Bill, know-it-all and two other lady tenants joined us later.

Had a chat for a few minutes. Bill is not feeling any better, but no worse.

We went out to catch the bus. A surprising amount of us old seniles got on this morning. But, only I was left on the bus, as all of the others dropped off, three stops later in Sherwood.

I dropped off in Arnold.

Went to see if Chambers Butchers had any of their home-cooked belly pork slices in that were not too fatty.

They did, so I got some. Looked lean, looked good and smelled wonderful!

It kept brightening up and going a bit dark. It was much colder than yesterday.

Limped to the Medical Centre to make up for going to the City Centre one a week last on Monday and finding out they do not open on Mondays now.

I went in and to the audio department counter. All locked-up! I inquired of the receptionist with the well practised ‘I’ll-put-you-in-your-place’ stare; if they had perhaps moved? No, they only open on a Tuesday and Friday; between 1400hrs to 1700hrs, now! Ah-well!

So I wandered down to Front Street and, and went into the Iceland Store. Came out without buying anything.

Then to the Fulton Food Store, came out without buying anything.

Then to the Asda Shop. A different store here. I got three beef stew and potato ready meals for £6, vine tomatoes, Viennese Whirls, Cox’s apples, a TV magazine for next week, Cheese Curls and a box of four Lemon Curd Sundae Cakes. I was going to get some more of the cans of Curried Beans, but they were no longer on Offer Price. Boo!

Struggled with the bag out and up by the car park, to the bus stop.

Passing the charity collection bins, some people were talking about the stink coming from the clothing one.

I couldn’t smell anything, though.

Got to the bus shelter and waited for only five or six minutes and the L9 arrived.

I was soon back at the complex and getting off the bus.

I called in the Obergruppenfurheresses Wardens Temporary Shed, to advise that I’d put the two bits in their fridge earlier. But no signs of either of them. They must be busy elsewhere.

Walked to the flat and put the food away. The fridge is now really cram-packed. Hehe!

Did the Health Checks and took the medications.

Got the oven warming up, took a picture from the kitchen window.

It was really bright out there now, but cold with it today.

The computer started, and I got on with updating this diary for an hour or two.

Nosh served up.

Gorgeously palatable effort tonight. An excellent rating of 9.44/10 given.

Made a reminder note to me, about the Warfarin Blood Test at 1020hrs in the morning. Stuck in over the Computer screen

Did the last Health Checks and medications were taken.

Into the £300 second-hand recliner and got a ‘New Tricks’ DVD on to watch. Fell asleep. Woke with my attention drawn to the carnosity of flesh around the midriff area, and the dull aching from within. No idea what caused this.

Then the mind wandered to thoughts of other cyber-friends having troubles with their Bill Gates computers. Tim and Doug in America, Mike and Suzie in the UK… there were no direct specific ideas floating about in the brain. Just vagueness and semi-assimilation of the frustrations and agony suffered by millions of ordinary proletariats at the hands of this highly despised multi-millionaire.

Dropped off to sleep again, and I knew that the dreams that followed had been confusing, even scary at times. But as for the content of them, I could recall nothing.

TTFN all.

A Photographic Visit to see Old pussies Fooey, Albert, Sister Jane and Hubby Pete (Jane’s hubby, not mine! Hehe!)

Fooey consuming his fodder

Fooey having consumed his nosh!

Fooey with that “Anymore please” look. Bless him!

Jane and Pete trying to get Fooey to pose!

Jane, looking good, picking her figs, drink in hand!

Albert, unimpressed with being a photographic model!

001j

Albert threatening the birds – and Humans! Hehe!

Wish someone had told me the hen was a fake. Hehe!

The old pensioner caught Tree-Hugging again!

Whoopsiedangleplop Highlights of Thur/Fri am 5-6th January 2017

4thur07a1

0230hrs: Woke with Little Inchy bleeding merrily away. Decided to add the bloodied clothing to the laundry bag and go down to the laundry room, and get the washing done straight away.

During which I managed to knock my head on the top left-hand corner of the dryer, cut my finger of the cracked metal on the filter cage, trap my finger between the door and the sink cupboard and bang my elbow on the sink drain corner.

a24thur05

Noticed one of the chairs had gone missing in the foyer.

You can see the fading on the carpet where it once stood.

It reappeared later in the day?

The only highlight of the day was I got to visit Olive before I went out. She was not very well, and was now waiting further surgery. I love that woman.

a3

4thur12Caught the bus to the clinic. Where the investigating medical team, as they got me laying down and they examined the lesion on Little Inchy through this gigantic electric magnifying glass contraption, with a new control apparently I heard them say. As usual, I had to remove my hearing aids so as not to interfere with the thing.

The new machine was a lot larger than the old one and blocked my view of the students, nurses and Doctors reaction and giggling about the lack of size and volume of the appendage they were investigating and trying to find a way to stop bleeding. After half an hour of smutty looks and amusement for them, I was taken into a room to have some needles inserted with some yellow liquid, that stung a bit, but only a bit.

I waited on the trolley while they analysed the blood. I’d been through similar before, so made sure I’d stuffed my book to read in the dressing gown thingy.

A different Doctor returned with the two others and informed me they were going to give corticoid (I think) cream one more go, and gave me a tube of a stronger one to use this month. This one must be kept in the fridge between usage.

The female doctor said if this does not work, she will arrange for me to see a specialist surgeon and discuss the option on skin grafting.

I went back to the flat and put the tube into the fridge, then set off to Mansfield to see if I could find any of the tins of Beef Goulash at the B&M store there. They had none.

Sister Jane rang me en route, and I agreed to meet Pete in the morning in town.

a44thur09

Back at the flat, I got the meal ready as I felt rather hungrier than usual.

It turned out absolutely divine tasting too! Vegetable sausages, pea-rice sticks, wonderful cooked mint flavoured beetroots, a Cox apple, chicken sticks that were not chicken but TVP I think, and the best of the lot. I’d boiled some potatoes the poured some light Soy Sauce over them and baked them for a bit with the sausage. Rated this one 9.44/10!

4thur06I carried out the BP tests as instructed. All over the place lately, up and down. I’m recording them on Excel so I can take a screenshot and email it to the doctors at the end of the week.

Then:

a5

I suddenly felt so tired it was hard to understand why.

I didn’t feel unwell at all, just tired and drained.

Managed to get the washing up done, then sat down and irresistibly, I drifted off.

After a couple of hours, I woke thinking it was morning, but it was tea-time, then I drifted off again!

Sometime later I woke, needing the to use the porcelain. Little Inchy was bleeding, Haemorrhoid Harold was bleeding and I had to change togs yet again. Tsk!

Sister Jane rang (I think). I nodded off once more. An hour or so later I thought I heard the phone ringing, picked it up but no one there?

a6Another hour or so and I thought it rang again… then I realised that it was the doorbell chiming. The cleaning ladies had, as they usually do, altered the tune on the bell when they used the socket. By the time I got to the door, whoever it was that had tried at least twice to contact me, had long gone. Humph!

I still felt tired, but could then not get back to sleep. Put the TV on and started to watch a documentary about the war. Nodded off t the first commercial break.

Woke again (Around 0230hrs I think) and had to go back to the wetroom to tend to Little Inchy.

Back in the £300 second-hand recliner and off to sleep again and the many weird dreams.

Woke yet again, thinking it was light, and remembering I was to meet Pete, I hastened out of the chair and as I did, I recognised that the light I thought was morning dawning was from the TV that I’d left on, and it was actually 0500hrs. Oh dear me!

Confusion reigns!

Inchcock Today Wed 6th July 16: Kitchen Whoopsiedangleplop – then Dizzies, Humph!

IBAFOL4a

Wednesday 6th July 2016

Stirred to life, of sorts, at 0600hrs. Memories of the dreams lingered a bit this time. Usual theme, me being chased on and over rooftops, up mountains, falling into a canal this time, near a lock with soap suds on top smelling like TCP? Surprisingly, I could swim in this dream, as in true life I’m scared stiff of deep water? There was a lot more detail that I lost before I could get out of the £300 second-hand stuck half up and half down not working recliner chair to write them down… Tsk!

The first of many wee-wee’s followed, WCHD job, bit of blood from the rear end but not much. I found I’d left the heater on in the wet-room from the showering yesterday… huh, that’ll please the the bank manager no end!

To the kitchen to make a cuppa and take the medications. Of deary me indeed: Whoopsiedangleplop! The stack of storage draws had collapsed, some split open and there was a hell of mess to sort out from the contents that had spilled out, bent lids, sprays, cleaners, rags, bags etc. All lying in an untidy heap spread on the floor and laying in the spilt liquids, disinfectant, soda, washing up liquid etc! It must have made a right noise when it collapsed. Took me ages to sort it all out temporarily at  least. New storage box’s needed again now – I’m not going to get the same ones as these again though! Feeling a bit low now!

Had a job to find the hearing aids though, last night I’d detached the tubing and left it in soak to free the wax in them and I thought I’d left the main bits in the usual (That Auntie Kath left me) porcelain pot, but no. Found them in the kitchen on the counter, I reckoned the falling stuff from the five collapsed John Lewis storage draws and contents, must have knocked them to the back of the counter? Then I had to search all through the contents of the collapsed boxes to find the hearing aid batteries!

The falling mass of plastic, cleaners and medical accoutrements must have made a terrible noise, not that I heard anything like, hope it didn’t bother my neighbours? Wonder when it happened?

Even more depressed now.

10eGot the laptop on to start this post off.

The fingers were giving me some hassle and sticking occasionally.

Couldn’t spend too long a time on it, as I want to get to the shops using the first L9 bus (0930hrs) so I can have time to visit Olive when I get back, before she is picked up and taken for her meal by her son and daughter.

0815hrs: Saved the work and closed the laptop, then got in the wet-room to do my ablutions… remembering just before I did, that I’d not taken me medications with all the kerfuffle with the Whoopsiedangleplop, so I did.

Soon sorted, although I did manage a couple of nicks with the razor in my rush, that took a while to stop bleeding.

I set out, taking the  rubbish bags to the chute on the way down. Not in the best of spirits. Humph!

Caught the bus to town to the terminus on Queen Street and down to the City Centre. Walked down into the slab square and caught a tram to Hucknall and the Tesco store. Off the tram and walked through the Park & Ride, over the road and  into the store.

I had a good wander around, nosing out any new products, getting stuff I didn’t mean to and forgetting the stuff that was on the shopping list I’d made, that was still back at the flat where I left it. Huh! I did get some English vine tomatoes, half red-half yellow to try, some cooked meats of various types, bread, naughty snacks, french toast, Marmite crackers, chicken thighs, a jar of sweet & sour sauce, a turnip, tomato puree, cooked pork chunks, honey roast lamb slices and a packet of Fresh Cream Horns jumped into the trolley… I also got a packet of jam doughnuts for the Winwood Tenants Social Hour tomorrow.

Paid the lady on the check-out, and then the fun started… I’d rather overdone the shopping again and carrying the heavy two bags of the fodder back on the Tram and then bus caused me bother.

10gBack to the tram station and caught it back into Nottingham. This proved to be a  hassle filled journey.

When the tram started off, it had few passengers and things were okay – then as it filled with Nottinghamians en route, I found myself squashed against the window with the bags on the floor by a rather sweet smelling large lady. It filled up even more and I moved one bag onto my knees to make room for the incoming masses. I don’t know how the tram moved with all the folks on it – I realised I’d have a job to get off with the bags and get through all the standing passengers in time to get to the door for  the bus-stop I needed.

10hAs we went through the Radford area I managed to take a photograph of the open market there.

I think the changeable weather had confused us poor Nottinghamians somewhat, everyone was either well wrapped up or in summer wear?

We went on and as the tram neared the Theatre Royal stop that I required to get off at, I felt a right fool trying to manoeuvre myself with the bags to the door. As I got up I had a bad dizzy-spell. The large lady next to me, who was getting off at the same stop, immediately informed me I had ‘Gone all white’ and grabbed the heaviest bag and carried it off the bus for me. The lady who was sat opposite me held my arm as we got off. I did feel a fool! So kind of 10j 10kthem, one asked if I wanted an ambulance calling? I thanked them and red facedly sorted the bags to a more even weight distribution and made my way to the Queen Street L9 bus-stop.

The police were there collecting some Nottingham shop-lifters at the bottom of the street. I felt much better physically and all signs of the dizzy-spell had gone. I took what I hoped would be an atmospheric photographicalistion of the Council House.

I still felt thankful for the ladies help on the tram, but rather embarrassed, mortified and humiliated over the incident. Decided I had to inform the Doctor on my next visit. (This is due this Friday 0830hrs, must remember to take urine sample and not eat  anything tonight after 2200hrs before the CDH test with the nurse at the surgery.)

10eThe last L9 bus had long departed, so I caught a 40 one, that drops me off on Sherwood Vale Hill.

Always a bit nervous when I use this bus, because crossing the road after dropping off is a nightmare when you can’t move as fast as you would like to, to avoid the speeding cars coming up or down the hill around the sharp bends in each direction.

Still, it’s not to far to walk.

Although on this occasion I was a little bit worried about another dizzy coming on I must admit.

In the flat, feet, legs and arms aching, I had along wee-wee and used the throne first thing. Put the fodder away.

10lToo tired and weary for some reason to do any laptop work, I got some small potatoes in the oven and made two honey roast ham sandwiches.

Sliced some of the expensive but deliciously sweet tomatoes, added some sliced onions carrots to the plate.

When the potatoes were cooked I added them and had a very nice meal indeed. A worthy 8.9/10 despite my feeling a little under the weather.

I became suddenly apathetically languid, morose, lethargic and listless. It was made worse after I’d watched the Portugal v Wales game. Humph!

No more dizzies, but I didn’t feel so good.

Hey-ho! TTFN

Inchcock Today Sat 21 May 2016: Alive and Active! (To start with)

04

Saturday 21 May 2016

Bounced into life late today, around 0500hrs – I think I got in seven hours straight kip! Pondered on the dream I’d been having, recalling something about ladies and me in a room and having a good time? Memory dream that was.

Then bits about one with Lynton Cox lecturing me and hitting me on the knuckles with a ruler at a desk in what appeared to be taking place in a classroom or similar in a sewer?  Hehe!

P1080007Then I nodded off again, another rarity for me. I was forced into getting up and visiting the porcelain throne and found the proceedings easier that I have for a long time.Maybe the vegetable casserole last night helped?

Maybe the Crock-pot vegetable stew last night helped?

I rang brother-in-law Pete and we had a little chinwag.

Made a cuppa, took the medications and got the laptop on. I want to save some favourite photos to a card, to take to Asda and get printed today. I’ll walk, if the rain keeps off, we had a lot of wet last night judging by the roads and vehicles outside.

I finished off the Thursday post entry. Did the ablutions and ready to go for the bus to Arnold – which turned out the bus to Nottingham, due to me managing to misread the timetable and getting on the wrong one bus. (I know, I know it’s hard to believe that I could get myself into such a muddle – Ahem!)

All ready. Then, I set off with little time to spare down the lift on the way to the bus stop for the number L9 one and realised I had not got my hat on. So, I looked in the bag to see if I had a spare woolly-hat in there like I usually do, but couldn’t see one. It was too late to go back to the flat or I’d miss the bus. The L8 arrived, and who I have always called Julie got off the bus, and I had a natter and discovered her name is Jean and she lives in flat 38, not 48. (I know, I know it’s hard to believe that I could get myself into such a muddle – mark two – Ahem!)

Arrived in town and called into the Pound World Shop on Milton Street to see if they had any woolly hats in stock, asked an assistant lad and he said not. So I walked back to the Poundland Shop on Upper Parliament Street and asked staff, got the same answer, but I did find some Camping Hats and got one of them. Lovely warm lining and waterproof on the outside, even if I do look a plonker in it Hehe! I bought some Lotus Caramelised Biscuits 8×2 packs, and Haribo Jammy Chamalous sweets as well as the hat. Naughty boy!

The feet were stinging a bit then. Hobbled through Victoria Centre (Mall) and out and over to the Aldi store.

05Purchases some fodder: Lemon yoghurts, fresh mushrooms, a 5% Minced beef, Minted lamb shoulder cuts, pots of porridge, Brown craft loaf, Cod liver oil tablets and a pack of bread thins.

Spent £12.33, t’was the beef and lamb that were expensive, but I treated myself and no feelings of guilt either!

08

07As I limped back, through the Victoria Centre, a git on a bike almost had me over as he sped through the shopping centre at great speed!

The Swine!

I plodded through, out and up into Trinity Square, where I perused the second-hand jewellery shop windows to see if owt new was on offer for me to photographicalise for the TFZ gals. Evening Post

09Made my way towards the number 40 bus stop. Being a Saturday the next L9 that goes all the way to the flats was not due for over an hour, so decided to catch the 40. I called in the Spar shop en route and got a Bacon Sizzler cob, aim to have it early, then the wait for the planned Minced Beef hot-pot in the slow cooker will not drive me mad with the smell coming from it cooking for six hours. Hehe!

10I had a walk down into the Slab Square and there was a demonstration, peaceful mind you and some I think, Vietnamese students trying to get up a petition against cruelty in their homeland. I was going to take a photo of them, and the arrival of several policemen put me off.

I was going to take a picture of them, and the arrival of several policemen put me off.

Not many folk about on Exchange walk today?

Walked back up to the bus stop and caught the 40 bus.

As we passed 08the end of Clumber Street, I tried to take a photo of the crowd, but, at the rate of knots, that we were travelling at, it came out blurred.

Hey-ho!

Got off on Winchester Street Hill. No falling asleep today!

Got over the road without any hiatus and limped back to the flats.

P1070248On the way, I noticed the falling petals from the Chestnut Trees.

I took these shots from underneath one.

Pleased with how they eventually came out, out considering the wind was moving the flowers and leaves about something awful at the time I tried to take them.

Got in the flat and began preparing the beef stew in the Crock-Pot. Then nipped down to fellow tenant Jean’s flat with some DVD’s she wanted to look at.

Started this post update, when I got a telephone call… from the Nottingham Post newspaper! They were going to do an article on Pavement Cyclists, to see what others thought, in response to my email and photographs I’d sent to them last week! Yippee!

 I’m Going off-line now, to watch the cup final and eat me bacon sizzler with a hot strong cup of tea and take the evening medications!

See yers later…

Well, what a match!

I wonder how much Man Utd slipped the referee this time then?

Got the fodder ready.

Watched the Haye vs. Gjergjaj ludicrously farcical boxing match. (If I may use that term?)

Although I felt tired, sleep did not come quickly and I think I managed about three hours… Tsk!

TTFN folks.

Inchcock Today 4 Apr 16: Forced myself out and about – then it poured down!

G Dec

Nottingham’s Most Barmiest Sad Pensioner’s Diary of Woe

Monday 4th April 2016

I stirred into semi-life around 0315hrs and hobbled to the bathroom without any problems from the ailments, apart from the sore haemorrhoids, but they were not bleeding, just tender. 

Stubbing me toe on the way to the kitchen, I noticed the glorious view from the window and decided to take a photograph of it – I decided not to after all when I couldn’t find the camera. Humph, still looking!

Took the medications and found last night’s pot of pills I’d missed taking! Oh P1050891dear, so sad and anger making! I took the morning tub of tablets along with just one night time Warfarin.

Started the laptop and back to the WC to doctor my bits with the creams, painkillers, and lotions. Stubbing my toe on the same raised door stop as I had earlier! At least, Little Inchy was not bleeding this morning, I still applied the cortisone cream, though.

As I burnt my finger making the next cup of tea, that I knocked off the counter when I caught myself on the hot kettle and had to bend to clean up causing the back to go: This might not be going to be a good day I thought to myself?

I got the urge come inspiration to do a funny WordPress post in bad rhyming about advice for Pensioners on Waking up in the morning. This took a few hours to get done. During which, another call to the porcelain came, and I was so careful not to stub my toe on the raised door stop this time!

Then I got the Monday diary finished and started this one – and as I did so, got the fearful feeling I might have forgotten the INR blood tests today – oh, and I’ve got to call the clinic to grovel for another appointment too! I checked the Google calendar and confirmed it was for Tuesday 1145hrs at Dr Vindla’s surgery with the nurse.

I got some kind messages on the email, heartwarming that.

Turned everything off electrically speaking and got a jolly good scrub-up. Got the Phorpain gel on my joints and cleaned Little Inchy and Daktacorted him once again.

Wrapped me up well and set off in a hurry to the bus stop. Met coordinator Dean in the lift, and a few words.

Out and met two tenants waiting for the same bus, man, and wife I think and I had another little gossip.

P1060008The bus arrived in the City Centre and I dropped off and walked to the bus stop for the number 17 to Bulwell.

The cloudy sky was looking rather threatening as I crossed over the road to hobble to the bus stop. 

Pavement cyclists were darting around as well, too quick for me today.

G Dec2I observed as got close to the bus stop, that the naughty little Nottingham pedestrians were not too keen on keeping to the Walk – Don’t Walk signs on Upper Parliament Street!

The little Scally-Wags!

There were two people at the bus stop when I joined the queue. A ten-minute wait and by the time the bus arrived, there were about twenty in the queue. They all rushed forward with steely determination and I was semi-trampled on and around the twentieth to get on the bus! Humph!

In Bulwell, I made my way to the cheapo shop and got a three pack of the Blitz towels. Then walked around to the Shoe Zone store and got three pairs of shoes, one brown pair included (Not the foggiest idea why?).

Next door to the Fulton’s Food store and got a pack of battered fish fingers and one box of same battered fishcakes. They had some short-dated dark chocolate orange nibble discs, so I bought two for 50p.

P1060010Over the Market Place to the river Leen, and fed some pigeons there with the seeds I had in my shopping bag.

Over to the tram station and had a repeat of the what took place at the bus stop earlier. I was the first there on the platform, but about the twentieth again to get on the bloody thing. Only one side seat left available, and I had a heck of a job hanging on to it with and the two shopping bags at the same time. Tsk! Swines were nicking me OAP seats!

On the journey, it was dry when I got on, absolutely pelting down half way and dry when I eventually dropped off.

I even had a battle, to get off the tram in time at the Theatre Royal stop I needed, it was so crammed full of folk who didn’t want to respond to me requests for them to make way so I could get out! Huh!

I walked over to the L9 bus stop, the bus already being there and I joined just one other passenger on the bus. Later the bus had to wait as it went through a housing estate for a builders lorry to offload some materials. The driver was not happy!

We got to the flats and I had yet another little natter with a woman as we entered and rode up in the lift. We both agreed a cup of tea would go down nicely.

G Dec3In the flat and put the things I’d purchased away.

I noticed that the last pair I bought exactly like the £12.99 pair – AUS £24.38 – USD $18.59 – CAD £24.95, were then a few months ago, selling at £9.99. AUS £18.75 – USD $14.29 – CAD £18.63. Thought I’d get three pairs of shoes before they all went up even more!

Mind you, they all start leaking after a while. Hurrumph!

G Dec4The weather then started to pour rain heavily; Over the next couple of hours, it changed from rain to bright sunshine, so frequently.

Some mail had been delivered.

One Election Poll Card for Thursday 5th May, and a letter for Margaret, the previous tenant.

I got the laptop on and updated this diary of Woe.

DSC00174While preparing to get the fodder cooking and deciding to have fish lumps and fishcakes with beetroot, I thought I’d let you all know, that I no longer have any bags BBQ disc crisps, or beef flavoured potato chip sticks in the place! Not a single bag anywhere!

Honestly folks! Not one bag left! 

G Dec2

 Ahem!

Hehehe!

P1060012The fodder came out alright this time, and what a feast it was too!

Had to give this one a high rating score of a worthy 9.22/10.f

The Caramelised Balsamic Onion Chutney really complimented the fish dish so well.

Took the evening medications, having missed the midday ones. Huh!

Checked the TV magazine and found that there was so much on the box that I would have liked to view, all at the same times.

Channel hopped, fell asleep, woke, channel hopped, fell asleep… on and on and on this went. I imagine there are plenty of, what shall I say? Aged people in this position at nights?

BJ rang to say he’s checked the old house and all looks okay. That’s a relief!

Nodded of eventually…

Mon 7 Mar 16: Inchcock Today – The day deteriorated as it went on – Whoopsiedangleplop Ridden! Humph!

CG poorly2

Monday 7th March 2016

Up at 0400hrs, again in need of the using the facilitations of the bathroom porcelain. Little Inchy needed decoking and cleaning after last nights Whoopsiedangleplop. However Anne Gyna had eased, but the Roger the Reflux Valve was making me gasp and struggle a bit.

P1050138To the kitchen and put the kettle on.

I made an effort to take another photographicalisation of the view, with the light reflecting on the photo from the light behind.

Just for a bit of fun. Well, I say fun, is fun the right word. Should I have used amusement or interest? And am I losing it early today? Hehehe!

Made a cuppa and took the medications.

Pondered on the days requirements. Try to get some WordPressing done. Doctors at 1100hrs. Phone Clinic to confirm my appointment time. Oh, the dentist, no that’s tomorrow isn’t it. I really must try to get some cleaning up done sometime today, even if it’s only a bit. I can’t get rid of the feeling that I’ve forgotten something? A horrible sensation that!

Got on with completing Sunday’s diary, and tries to do an Iceland order, but at the end of the process it told me ‘A problem has occurred – Please go back, so I decided not to bother and ignored it.

Did some Facebooking. Had to prevent myself from forgetting the time, need to have me bath and ablutions yet, before I get the things ready for the walk to the surgery.

I cleared away and titivated the kitchen, then got into the bathroom to do my ablutions. Rather disappointed as the water ran cold so quickly and had to make due with a few inches of water. Must inform the caretaker later.

Got put sooner than planned when I started shivering. It took a while, the back and Arthur Itis saw to that.

Pottered about and got the things ready for the INR blood test, bus-pass for later, mobile phone, camera, nibbles for the medical team and gloves all into the bag.

I did my usual checks to make sure I’d not left anything on: And found the hot tap running in the kitchen! Grottyswellski! No wonder the bath was not hot!

Took the rubbish bags and put them down the chute on the way down. 

Walked down the Winchester Street Hill into Sherwood, left up the hill then down into Carrington. Phones sister Jane on the way and had a little natter.

Arrived at the surgery and booked in, and got the crossword book out. It was the Obergruppenfurher nurse on duty today, but she was surprisingly friendly with me? She decided to find a new vein today because she said the old one was overused and going hard?

P1050139Left the bag of nibbles with the receptionist and poddled to the bus stop and caught a bus into town. Arthur Itis seemed to be easing off, ni idea why, but I was pleased with this. The back continued to give me some jip, though.

Dropped off the bus and walked to Upper Parliament Street to catch one to Morrison’s in Netherfield. Took a photo of the crowds on Clinton Street. It reminded me of New York, with the moody sunshine and folks all wrapped up well.

P1050140I got to the bus-stop and looked up to take a photo of Centre Mission and Church.

I said a few words asking for the easing of pains for a few friends who are suffering at the moment.

The bus arrived, swiped my bus-pass and enjoyed the sunshine as we drove out through town, Colwick and to Netherfield. I’d decided to go to Morrisons cause Iceland’s website, wouldn’t take my order for delivery.

I checked the times of the buses to go back, not a bad service, three an hour during the daytime.

I’m afraid I bought some ‘Naughty foods’ 4IT7CoyStrawberry desserts (3), Hartleys mandarins in jelly (4) Honey coated cashew nuts, honey yogurt… Tsk!

Gravy granules, dried vegetables, Fresh roasting vegetable pack and spent £12.28.

Timed it well to get the bus back to town. Got to Queen Street, and again was lucky with the timing as the L9 turned up at he bus stop as I did. (Getting a bit worried about things going right for me at this point, my EQ told me I was going to pay for it later!)

I even fell asleep on the bus, but woke up as it was driving into Chestnut Walk outside the flats, brilliant!

As I got into the foyer, a lady there spoke to me, as I checked to see if there was a washing machine free in the laundry room, (No, all in use) and I could feel the blood running down my arm onto my gloves. I had to leave her rather abruptly as I hastened up to the flat, into the bathroom and cleaned it up, and had to put some Brute aftershave on it to get it to stop. (Stung a bit that did, hehe!)

Put the things away in cupboards and fridge, had to manipulate the contents of the freezer to mP1050141ake room for stuff to go in.

Kettle on, and started to prepare the nosh.

Took a photo through the window of the glorious clouds.

I stayed in the kitchen and read my book while the fodder was cooking, and kept a close eye on it.

P1050142I thought it came out okay.

I made some lamb gravy to add to it. The vegetables were not too bad. Added beetroot and a cooked chicken thigh.

Added beetroot and a cooked chicken thigh.

A pot of the Strawberry dessert for afters, and moved it all into the front room on a tray, to eat on my knee while I watched TV.

The idea turned out not to be a good one! The Whoopsiedangleplop proved this!

01W

I managed to fall asleep and dropped the tray and fodder off of my knee. Bits of the meal were spread on my dressing gown, slippers, the carpet, on and under the arm chair & cover… I swore quite a bit.

P1050144Fetched Horatio the Hoover, and in combination with Boris the mini Black & Decker hand vacuum, set about cleaning the mess up.

Down on the knees to clean under the chair (Roger Reflux, Anne Gina and Arthur Itis were not pleased with this and had been giving me anguish ever since, Humph), picking the bits up by hand that had somehow gotten everywhere and it felt like into every crevis! Sprayed fabric deodoriser, over the materials, then passed the wind, and sprayed citrus fresh air spray all over. Getting back up was not an easy or pain-free job either.

In the middle of all this sorting, the phone went; It was the Iceland delivery???

I thought their system told me they could not take my order? I had no email to inform me about it? Had to re-sort the freezer again to make room for the chips that were delivered.

P1050145Had to re-sort the freezer again to make room for the chips that were delivered.And how I managed to order this great big box of 

And how I managed to order this great big box of Surf is anyone’s guess?

Still, the Whoopsiedangleplop got me to clean the room up a bit, Hehe!

Had a cuppa, felt sorry for me, a little depressed and put the TV on.

I succeeded in watching a whole programme, then off into the land of nod, at last!