Inchcockski – Wed 25 Nov 20: My memory was malevolently-masticated, with maladroitness! Mmm?

TFZer Bliss ♥

Wednesday 25th November 2020

Somalian: Arbaco 25ka Nofeembar 2020

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01:25hrs: After a good five-hours (Great!) kip, I blundered back into semi-consciousness, in need of a wee-wee. Got the stomach with its dangly legs and arms attached, out of the c1968 recliner, caught my balance, and meandered slowly, unhurridly, and with a new more acute vageness than I’ve had in a long time, off to the wet room. Took the reluctant weak wee-wee, checked on Little Inchies fungal lesion (No bleeding), washed the hands, and made my way to the kitchenette.

The ambiguous, ambivalent brain, at first, sort of went along with what the body was doing, uninterested. It’s the best way I can express how things were at that moment. I was not wholly under the control of my thoughts or emotions at all – ideas, views, fears were milling around now in the head, but I was losing then as quickly as they came?

By chance, at that moment when I was getting the milk out of the fridge for the Glengettie, I spotted the moon was out and on display.

Things seemed to click back together in the bonce, and enthusiasm returned.

I fetched the Nikon camera, opened the unwanted, unliked, thick-framed, light & view-blocking new window, designed by some elderly people-hating gerascophobia or misogynist, and took these three efforts of the moon in the sky.

Cheered a smidgeon now, I got some potatoes out, got them in the crock-pot and added some Squid juice to them, and put them on a low setting.

I got the Health Checks done, as the Thought Storms began to come (I’d missed then overnight-Hehe!). The SYS is still a little high.

Well, well, and fancy that! The temperature was higher than it has ever been, at 37.6°c. I didn’t realise the read-out produced a changed colour when the figure was out of safe range, on the new thermometer. It has always been a shade of green since I’ve been using it, but not today. It’s gone to orange, next step red, I assume?

Something else to fret about. Just when Ann Gyna and Duodenal Donald were being in a good mood with me this morning (up to now). In fact apart from BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda), who is still enjoying her sadistic ache-giving pain distributionalisationing, things ere so good. I’ll have to ask Mr Google about this… hang on a second. – Oh, well, I didn’t know that! Mr G says A 75-year-old male – 97°F (36.1°c) to 99°F (37.2°c). So, it’s not too far out, is it? Tsk!

I made another brew of tea for the one that went cold, and I got the medications pot. Oh, dear, I’d done it again! I’d not taken last nights doses! No wonder BPB is moaning! So I took the belated ones and got the morning tablets in the pot read to remember to take later on.

Naturally, I was full unequivocal confidence that I’d remember (I stuck a note over the top of the computer screen, Hehehe!) to remind me to take them. Ahem!

After a few hours of updating the Tuesday IT, I got the urge for the Porcelain Throne. So, off to the wet room. Fantabulous Session again! A 2-0 win for Trotsky Terence against Constipation Konrad. Smoothly evacuated with minimal pain, quick also too! Only the mess that needed cleaning up was any bother.

Back to the computer, and seeing the note I’d left for myself, I remembered to take the morning medications. With Trotsky winning the battle of the Throne, I was unsure if I needed to take any more of the Dioctyl® poo-softener capsules or not. After some vacillating and dithering, I decided that the thought of going back to the concrete torpedoes was scarier and painful than the embarrassment of my messing my PPs. So, I took one. But was still not sure if I’d done the right thing.

Come think of it; that could be an outstanding, and suitable epitaph for me when I snuff it, “He was never sure if he’d done the right thing!”, for on the coffin, like? Yes, I like it!

I went to check on the progress of the potatoes. I’d not turned it on at the power socket. So, I did. I do feel such a fool!

I finished the updating of the blog. Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters and SSS were both surprisingly calm with me? Bless ’em! I Pinterested some snaps. Then did the Facebook catching up. Emailed the link. And went to get some brekkers made.

A BBQ pot noodle, and the remainder of the Wholemeal Irish Soda Bread. I made some gravy to add to it, and some Squid vinegar.

It came out so nice and tasty, rich- flavoured. And I so much enjoyed it with a mug of Thompsons Punjana tea. I’m getting used to this having breakfast now, as instructed by my Doctor Vindla, and the After Stroke team. I must try to eas a smaller afternoon meal, though. The Chilli-Con-Carni and or meatballs are going down well, with a little seasoning.

I went to investigate a noise I heard, from the kitchen methinks. I took the pots to wash at the same time. I could not find the cause of the clattering sound, though? I took a picture through the window. It looked eerie, and a bit like an Alpine Village?

PPs I got a call from my Gastroenterologist, asking how I went on with the pads she’d sent me to try. I was frank with her. I told her that using these pads meant wearing normal underpants, that needed pulling up so tight with the braces, that on the two occasions I tried using them, Little Inchies fungal lesson started to bleed. And the pain of treating it, due to my phimosis problem, applying the steroid cream to stop the bleeding, was too hurtful. Three times she said: “So you prefer to use the protection pants you are buying? Each time, I replied ‘No, not prefer, but have no choice, to protect myself from bleeding!’ Each mention, added; ‘We cannot supply protection pants for you!’ On my initial consultation with her, said this five times. On her last progress call, six times.

I think I’ve got it now – They cannot supply free PP’s for me. Hahaha!

It’s still a little gloomy and dark outside. I got the nosh.

I got the CCC in the pan, added some gravy and a drop of Balsamic, and Soy sauce added to the mix.

Then checked on Jenny’s email and replied to the angel, in between getting the evening meal prepped.

I’m trying to keep up with the waste bag situation. I use the old PPs box, and this makes it easier, cause I can add the tiny bags to it as I make them up. Then, when I struggle to the waste room chute, it is easier to get them from the box on the trolley-guide down the chute.

Despite my habit of trapping my fingers in the lid, having a dizzy, misjudging distances and gathering scars and the worst at times; when the malevolent, diabolical, involuntary right-leg (Tim Price from New Mexico named) Neuropathic Pete’s (Drop-what-your-holding), Schuhplattler dance bursts forth, and the leg flails about, gathering bruises and cuts, and encouraging fear and naughty language.  Doing it this way, there is no chance of any blockages in the pipe.

The nosh was served up. Note the lack of any bread? I’d ran out! My eating all the soda bread loaf in two sittings, and forgetting to either take some out of the freezer or put a part-baked roll or baguette in the oven… Well, I did actually put two small rolls in the oven… Maybe next time, it will be better to turn the oven on first.

The Chilli-Con-Carne was on my limit, hotness-wise. This should keep things moving in the Porcelain Throne area. Har-har! A 7.8/10 for flavour rating.

Shame about no bread, but to avoid further cock-ups of this nature tomorrow, I got a packet loaf of Milk Roll bread from the freezer when I did the pots.

Sleep, even this early, I needed, and it soon arrived, off into the land of Sweet Morpheus.

The landline rang and flashed, and a feeling; a sort of, “Ah, I wonder who that is?”arrived. I felt almost sure it would be the Deep Vein Thrombosis, INR Warfarin results and new dosages nurse. She hasn’t rung me for over a fortnight now.

I struggled up out of the c1968 recliner and stubbed my toe on the chair leg. I think I silently muttered something like, “Whoops!” Ahem!

It was Obersturmbannführeress Housing Patch Manager and Pole-Dancer, Angela. She has a good clear voice when not speaking too fast, so I heard most of what was said. My replies were affected by Stuttering Stephanie, but this lady knew and replaced every word I was struggling to get out, for me.  Clever gal!

She asked about how things were, gave me advice, and showed a genuine interest in my plight. Thank you, Madam!

I had a wee-wee and somehow remembered that I’d not taken the evening medications. Got the dosage pot, back to the recliner, and painfully seated on Harold’s Haemorrhoids. and the Thought Storm raged.

Again, I forgot to take the medications! – but I did when I woke and got up, just after midnight… with Arthur Itis giving me unexpected agony in both knees? Oy Oy, Oy!

Inchy – Tues 24 Nov 20: This time, Morrisons delivered my order to the wrong flats! I couldn’t even return the unwanted substitutes sent! Deana & Julie saved the day!

The Five TFZer group performing! ♥

Tuesday 24th November 2020

Maori: Turei 24th Noema 2020

With perms in the ladies hair, or wigs?

23:45hrs: I woke up just before midnight, still in pain from BPB & AG (Back-Pain-Brenda and Anne Gyna). And Harold’s Haemorrhoids soon joined in trenchantly, the moment I moved my stomach-dominated body.

I first felt, then spotted and removed the TV remote control, empty packet of Frazzles, pencil, and crumbs from the oleaginous folds of my belly fat. Well, it made a change, Hehe!

By the time I’d fought my way out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly, sickeningly beige-coloured, unstable, broken-down, uncomfortable, dusty, rusty, decaying, rickety, rachitic, recliner, and gingerly standing up, Haemorrhoid Harold had taken over the position as  LPAG (Lead-Pain-Ailment-Giver), the Germoloid ointment will be needed soon! Tsk!

Wee ChartA wee-wee was taken in the EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket).

This was of the  (Unwilling-Weak-Sprinkly) variety, but the colour was, according to the Urologists Colour-Check-Card, within the ‘Healthy’, ‘Good’ number two-level, for the first time in months. Excellent!

I tended to the Health Checks. The body temperature was the same as yesterday, at 36.8°c. The battery indicator seems to have gone up a tad today?

And, what a change in the results of the Boots BP sphygmomanometer for the SYS result!

Down to 145, from yesterdays 171? I wonder why? I’m not complaining at all, but it would be nice to know the reason.

.I remembered not being able to get out last afternoon, with the waste bags to go to the rubbish chute. Some workers were doing something and had blocked the exit. Good job there wasn’t a fire. But then again, perhaps I had been informed and had forgotten about it. I wouldn’t be amazed if this was true.

I had a nip out of the door and flats door into the lift lobby, to have a nosey. I took these photographs with the Canon camera.

I could see some plastering had been done on the near end wall. I hope the mess left on the new flooring will clean up alright when they get around to it. It appears to be just some smeared plaster, so it should buff up alright without any damage to the new floor tiles. Obviously, they will be working again today to finish the painting off.

I hope to be able to get out to the chute sometime. But as the permitted time to use the chute starts at 08:00hrs, and the workers begin at the same time, it may mean me keeping the smelly bags of waste in the hallway for another day or so before I can access the chute room. Hey-ho!

The need for the Porcelain Throne arrived, a little later than usual. Off to the wet room, down on the seat, and waited for the action to start, which it didn’t! I had a go on the crosswording, read the ankle strap instruction and was about to give up when things started actioning from the rear end! I girded my loins, gritted my teeth, and winced in expectation of the upcoming pain…

The torpedo left the tube, with… wait for it… NO PAIN AT ALL! No bleeding either! Once it began slithering, it was all over and done within a minute! I hoax you not!

Fair enough, it was a tad messy, and that needed attention to detail, and time to clean up.

However, it was a delayed action jobbie, but it was as near a normal evacuation as I’ve ever had! Gawd, bless the Dioctyl® poo-softener capsules! Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit! Well pleased!

 I had a concentrated blast on updating the Monday IT blog. Accepting no interruptions for tea brewing, and fortunately, the wee-weeing seemed to have dried up? I should drink more.

Anne Gyna and Back-pain-Brenda both got less severe, but Duopdenal Donald started off. Can’t win ’em all!

It took three hours, but I got the updating finished and posted off to WordPress. Pinterested, a few shots, Emailed the link, and then I did some Facebooking catch-up.

Doing this, I got messages first from Norton. I needed attention: back-up, Vin and Security issues. I clicked on the amend buttons, and things seem alright now, I’ve got the green light on again? Then dropbox alerted me. I followed their instructions.

Closed the window (It said I can) while it worked, and had a peek at the feet, cause the ankle ulcer was tingling a bit. I’m not surprised, it looked to me as if it was moving up the leg, and had s new growth coming up on it?

Did another graphics, and checked on the closed window thingy for Dropbox. And it was still working away?

Then I went on the WordPress Reader to catch up on that.

Oh, blimey, it’s getting late! Better get a quickie ablutions session done! Even though I rushed at it (No shower), there was only eight dropsies and two tiny shaving cuts. No dizzies, but I did bash my shoulder on the door frame coming out afterwards. Another pretty good event!

I came to the front room (I haven’t got a back one, Hehe!), and thought I’d have a few nuts to nibble. Could I find them? No! Well, not least not for ages spent searching and looking in the most stupid places for the pot. I found cunningly hiding in plain view, in front of the TV. Harrumph!

I hope to catch the bus to Sherwood after the Morrison delivery has arrived and been sorted. But my EQ is telling things will not go well? Then I had a look on the web, an email had come in from Morrisons.

They’ve done it again. There were many missing and substituted items again. With my arithmophobia and dyscalculia, I can’t tell if I’ve been overcharged or not. But the total has been lowered, then again, I bought a lot of stuff on offer? Every order they do this to me. I’m cheesed of with them.

I went out on the balcony and took a photo of the sky towards the West, showing balconies of some the flats. Seconds later, the red bits in the clouds were masked, and it went dark, I felt certain that it was going to rain, but it hasn’t yet. I just thought you’d like to know, like.

I did a few more small trash bags up, and put them with the others in the big box, waiting to go to the rubbish chute. Then I was about to nip out to the lift lobby but stopped myself when I realised that the Morrison delivery driver may press the intercom at any time. Not that they have ever come on time, not for the last three deliveries anyway. With my luck, if I had gone out, they would have come at that time. Of course, they didn’t arrive again until after the given hour with the slot. So, I still don’t know if the workers have blocked the exit or not yet. This might prove a problem when the goods do arrive. Assuming they will get here eventually.

I see that ‘Grammarly’ have started doing automatic Spelling and Grammar checks now. I like it!

10:15hrs: The Morrison order has not arrived. It states clearly on the email, 09:00 > 10:00 hrs! Last delivery I had from them, I rang the company, and a recorded message told me… “You can rest assured that if we are delayed for any reason, you will be informed and told a new ETA” Rollocs! That one arrived 2½hrs late, and I didn’t hear anything from Morrisons!

Now, here I am stupid enough to give them another order! What an Eizel, Luftmensh, I am!

Found the latest Coronavirus figures for Nottingham.

There I was, waiting patiently, and keeping up a semi-spirited outlook on things, despite Morrisons best efforts to get me all hot and bothered with their stupid substitutions on the way. And my £889, Nokia 8.3 5G, with 171.9 x 78.56 x 8.99mm, 220g Side fingerprint scanner, and Google Assistant button, Punch hole camera, LCD 21:9, 60Hz, and 6.81-inch display, rang. Chortle! Giggle!

It was the omnipresent Obergruppenführeress, ILC, Warden, and Pole Dancer, Deana. Inquiring if I had a Morrison order coming today, (The heart sank). Apparently, my super-big order, the one with the unwanted substitutions I wanted to return; Had been delivered to Winchester Court, not Woodthorpe! Flibblegonkackles Glibblebonks! Globdanglesods! Spurgledamnations! and Hogglebogwash!

Perhaps the signs are not large enough at five-storeys high and ten-foot wide? I’ll ask Nottingham City Homes Generalfeldmarschalless Housing Patch Manager/ Catwalk Model, Angela Gould if we change the signs with added flashing lights in heliotrope and silver, and an arrow with Morrison in it, on the rooftops of each Court? Fernacklcumps!

Deana said she would bring the shopping to me. Bless Her ♥ Deana and Sturmscharführeress Catwalk Model, Warden Julie soon arrived at the flat with the belated, much-travelled Morrison order for me. Bless their cotton socks! ♥.They even brought them inside for me. I thanked them graciously, and off back to work they poddled.

The unwanted and overpaid for substituted foodstuffs, I thought Jenny’s friends who she helps could use. So I put the other stuff away, and made a carrier with the strawberry trifles, Curry flavoured pot noodles, a can of Posh Perry for Nora some other bits in it, and called to explain why I was coming down to ring on her bell. We had a good chinwag, which is always nice.

I got the box full of bags taken with me and visited the waste-chute on the way. Then down in an elevator to Jenny’s level, and put the bag outside her door, rang her bell, and had a problem turning the trolley around, and bashed my ankle-ulcer on the wheel arch, that steadied me up a bit! Jenny appeared at the door, had a look at the goods and declared they could all be made us of for someone worse off than us. That’s Jenny! ♥

Getting a lift back u[p was a smidge farcical. I ended up going down, ended up on the ground floor. But the bonus was meeting a tenants daughter and Francis and having a little natter. (Silver Lining!)

I eventually got back up to the flat and was feeling a little drained. And got on with prepping a meal. I used a can of Chilli-Con-Carne and added some gravy, Balsamic vinegar, mild chilli seasoning. Chopped some tomatoes, (A little cut) to it as well. I tried a taste, I feared it may be a tad too hot for my liking, should have left off adding the chilli powder, methinks.

On a low heat, and updated this blog, in between going to stir the fodder in the saucepan.

I put the waste from the cooking, into a little bag, and started to fill the box again.

Well tired now, I’d been up for about 13 hours or so. I concentrated on getting the meal right from then on. Turned off the computer, I can catch up on things later or in the morning. At least Anne Gyna was easing off nicely. (Thanks, Anne!) Not BPB, though, I think I may have to see the quack about her. But she started after the tumble on the wet-room, so might ease off later on. (And pigs might fly!)

I had a little review of today, Whoopsiedangleplop-wise for a moment or two… Up until the Morrison disaster, things were going well, apart from BPB giving me permanent, persistent pain, of course.

I got the Irish soda bread out. A messy crumbly feast to eat. Hahaha! Not a delicate or dainty taste, of a mealy texture, but tasty, and highly suitable for soaking up the Chilli gravy. A first-class, nonpareil, supreme loaf and depositor of crumbs on the recliner, carpet, and in my stomach folds!

I ate half of the small sliced loaf of bread with the chilli-con-carne. It was at my limit for hotness, but this didn’t stop me enjoying it, and granting a flavour-rating of 8.5/10!

Undoubtedly, one of the best Chillies I’ve had so far. As you can see by how the tray looked as I took it away to soak overnight in suds and bleach in the sink.

I got stripped (the thought makes me cringe) and settled in the c1968 recliner, in search of sleep. I’d hoped putting on the TV would have a somniferous effect, but no! The thought-storms in my hypnagogia began, and the debitage of my life, the failures, the mistakes, guilt and fears, cascaded around in my head.

The  Egads, there was a mangled, menagerie of mentalese memories in there. That I could well have done without remembering!

Inchcock Today – Monday 23rd November 2020: Ailments BPB and AG in attendance. Humph!

TFZer Movie-Maker and Stars?

But only mine – the failing neurotransmitters to blame! Haha!

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Monday 23rd November 2020

Croatian: Ponedjeljak, 23 Studenog 2020

23:15hrs: I woke in a desperate need of the Porcelain Throne. (Nothing unusual in that, although the early hour was a bind!) I was weary through lack of sleep, with drooping eyelids, and struggling to engage my thoughts. Hello, I’m sneezing away now!

Not that the lack of sleep bothers someone like me. A heroical, strong, young, fit, healthy, virile, confident, handsome, stouthearted, very-much loved and admired, intrepidly courageous, health enthusiast, fitness fanatic, well-educated, keen outdoor adventuring enthusiast… Well, I may have just over-hyperbolised things there, a smidge) 

As the grey-cells regained a weak form of logicality; I dragged my bouncy-bellied body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly beige-coloured, unkempt, fluctuant, ramshackle, broken-down, uncomfortable, dusty, rusty, decaying, tatterdemalion, heavy yet tottery, rickety recliner. And I rose up on my painful overgrown toenailed feet. I caught my balance, as per the After-Stroke Teams instructions.  But had to skip the last bit, as the need for the Throne was growing more urgent by the second.

This session gave me a pleasant surprise! I got down on the plastic lid, and straight away the evacuation flowed. It was a long one, but that didn’t matter – It was totally pain-free! No bleeding either! Messy, though, very! Then having to clean me and the WC furniture, which took me ages, took the edge off of the, well, almost pleasure of super-easy pooing! Not that I was excited, for every Throne visit lately is totally different, which the Gastrointestinal Doctor Gupta had told me may happen for a few months. I just hadn’t expected the differentiations to be so acute on each visit. After the passing, BPB was soon starting to ache much worse?

I sorted out the Health Checks. Heck of a shock when the sphygmomanometer gave out the SYS reading of 171. Blimusigational! Yesterdays was only 148? I wonder why this happened? Ah, well, must press on, so I got the new thermometer out.

A reasonable reading of 68.8°c. Well, at least that was fair enough.

I went to get the medications out – and shame and disgust at myself again! I’d not taken last nights doses, yet again!

So, I took them then. Now I must remember to take the morning ones in a few hours.

It’s all very most confusing life is, when you’re nearing the end of it, and the old previously so reliable memory becomes unpredictable and a hit-and-miss affair. Hogglebogwash!

I went to make a brew of Glengettie tea, and I got side-tracked. (Hard to believe, me getting divagated, but, there you are... Hehe!) I took off the grey zip-up jumper I had on and set to washing it. Why I did this is still unknown to me, it was at the time I did it!

When the handwashing was finally, done- wrung and hung above the sink, to drip away drying, I had to clean up the mess I’d made doing the hand laundering. The floor had to be dried of sudsy water, the dropped and knocked-over items retrieved from where they had landed, and or rolled to, and the sink and counters washed.

I got back to making a brew of tea again, got the kettle reboiling, and noticed the small but beautiful quarter-moon was out in the now morning sky. I got the Nikon camera and took this photograph in Night Landscape mode.

Got the computer booted up, and uploaded this morning’s pictures. (Still doing some sneezing here). Then started to update the Sunday diary.

But this did not last for long. BPB started to get crescively more painful. So I hobbled to the wet room, and applied as best I might, a dollop of Phorpain gel to the affected areas, and rubbed it in as well as I could. It made no difference, though. Klunglefrazzles! 

I’m sorry I bothered now, cause coming out of the wet-room, I hit my right shoulder on the edge of the doorframe, and now SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) has joined DD and BPB harassing me! Criggleblogglesworthisms! How much more of this can one man take!

Of course, I’m not really bothered, whatsoever.

I got the blog updating finished. Posted it off. Pinterested a few snaps. Went on Facebooking, then sent the link off via Email. I went on CorelDraw again, to try and get some page top graphics done for the TFZer pictures.

After about two or three days, I’d got two graphics done… Well, it felt that long to me! Nicodemus has joined at ailment army now. However, a Silver-Lining search result: Duodenmal Donald departed the battlefield, for some R & R? Hahaha! The main offender now is Anne Gyna.

Then, I had to visit the Porcelain Throne for the second time. Messy in the extreme, a tad more painful, but over so quickly, and no bleeding. Far less volume this time I thought, not that I weighed it or anything. Cackle! Titter! Hehe! Cleared the evacuated product with one flush, as well! Yeehaa!

I decided to see what slots J Sainsbury had available. I wasn’t too keen on using them after the last cock-up with substitutes and damaged goods, but I dare not use Morrisons to get my Chilli-Con-Carne, after they substituted 2 cans of their cheap (69p) CCC, with their best ones, at £2.58! And the utterly crap MCains peppered chips as a substitute for the Morrisons Sweet Potato battered fritters. Apart from there were no sweet potatoes or batter, the sub was okay. Swine!

Swine again now! So, I made up an order with Sainsbury’s, for Sunday 29th November, twixt 0800>09:00hrs. I made a point of working out how to opt for ‘no substitutes’, but I got it wrong, and could not reaccess the list! As it happened, I’d missed off the BBQ super-noodles from the order, so I went in to edit it again, add the pots to it. And got the no substitutions and added the CCC, and bread to that list.

I also found that I have a refund coupon, well, two of them, so clicked on the activate buttons. Then found an option that if I spent £60, I could get £9 off of the order? So I clicked that, but I had to, unfortunately having to increase the ordered items to reach the total. As I updated, I got a long-winded message telling that because I had chosen so many items with the No-Substitute on them, if the total is not reached, I’d forfeit the £9 off-offer. See their substitution rulings! Cobblers!

I knew that Hristina was calling later today, so got the ablutions sorted out next. 

And what a feast of flipping, fiascos, faux pas, foul-ups, fluffs, follies, fatuous-farcicalisations this session was!

  • I got in the wet-room and moving the shower chair, I let it slip from my grasp. Or rather Nicodemus did. (You can see the bruise in the photos later!
  • The gums bled when I was doing the teeth!
  • A few nicks when shaving (5).
  • A stubbed toe when moving the sock glide out of the way to prepare the shower.
  • I bent down to pick up the dropped shower gel bottle and hit my head on the grab bar!
  • This started BPB off again!
  • As I was drying off, I put on the new glasses, and the lens fell out of the frame! Grrr!
  • Moving the chair back under the shower, I gave myself another toe-stubbing (At least this one was not too bad).
  • The medicationing started poor little Inchies fungal lesion bleeding!
  • Finally, on leaving the room, I was intent on not hitting the door frame again this time, and I didn’t. But as I turned to collect the forgotten to take with me wristlet alarm, I knocked most of the stuff off of floor cabinet when I had a balance loss moment!

Not one of my bestest ablution sessions! I was so irate with myself.

With all the clearing up, extra medicalisationing, I think that this session took me about an hour and a half!  I don’t think I’m one of the luckiest tenant’s in here, am I?

But then again, I already knew that.

At least apart from the bruised foot, bloodied lesion, shaving cuts, bashed head, stubbed toes, and Back-Pain-Benda back to her painful best, I feel I have nothing to complain about really. Much!

At least I had a visit for Hristina, my precious Vampire Nurse to come. (An inner smile glowed!)

After I’d calmed down, and was sorting out some waste bags, the front door chimes chimed out. It was Josie returning the dinner things. She mentioned how she’s enjoyed it so much. Which was good, and semi-cheered me up a soupçon.

I got back on the computer, and fear that I’d left something undone, not done, in the wet-room, forced me to get back there and have a check, that all was okay. I’d left the clothes I’d used in the ablutions and medical tendings, and washed on the support bracket.

The intercom flashed. It was Hristina, my beloved Vampire phlebotomy nurse who’d arrived. She rang the intercom at 11:45hrs.

By EQ recognised that she looked full of angst and tensed up, bless her. And no wonder, as she said while whipping out my blood: Only one lift working in the block, hard to find a parking space, extra clients added to her list,  stressed the Angel.

Although she gave no obvious signs and tried to speak in her usual comforting way, the speed of her words revealed the pressure she was under. I don’t think she was with me for more than five minutes. Beautiful, enjoyable minutes, though. ♥

After she had gone, and I lowered my sprits and sulked a little, and did some updating on this diary.

I turned of the computer, feeling a tad down and weary now. I got the waste bags, a lot of them had built up. This is because we have to use tiny bags now since the upgrade, so as not to block the chute, as has often been the case in the past, and cost a fortune to sort out.

I got them on the box and not the three-wheeled walker, and with some difficulty, got the trolley out through the door. (For the first time in a few days, I twisted my back getting the guide over the raised doorstop, and BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda) gave me an electric-like shock, and hurt on of a level 7/10 pain-wise, and has stayed with me all night and into the morning!)

Struggling even more to open the door to the lift lobby (BPB), as I got halfway through the door, there were working signs and equipment all over the place, and at the end of the lobby, three workers, who turned to look at me – offered me a look of contempt, a sneer, and a scowl. No way though – I’m sure I hadn’t been informed of these workings? But who knows, with my memory!

So, I was going nowhere.  I made my way with difficulty back into the flat’s lobby and returned to flat. Storing the trolley back in its corner in the hallway, obviously with the full of waste bags box still on top of it. And BPB really giving me some stick now!

I took the evening medications, with an extra Codeine 60g, and as best I could, offered Back-Pain-Brenda some PHorgpain Gel where I could reach to. Hoping, foolishly perhaps, that it might calm her down a bit. I was now in a right picklement, BPB and Anne Gyna bother having sadistic fun with me. Argh!

I got the meal prepped. A different type tonight, the Beef Curry, had a ring-pull opener on it, so I tried it. Got some potato letters in the oven cooking. Then considered the seasoning, that might be required for the curry. First I got it in the saucepan and tried a spoonful as it slowly heated up. I could not detect any curry. I decided on some balsamic vinegar and made-up some gravy with vegetable stock and added it to the mix. Put some Soy sauce into the mix. Fingers crossed. Not that I was too bothered, with BPB and AG for both still nagging away at me.

Nosh was served up, and I wanted to show how I felt and decided I’d put my views in potato-letters on top of the fodder. Just my luck, all those letters I cooked, and no letter T! Hahaha! Not to be beaten, I nibbled an H and used that to give my message to the world via the internet and this photo. Daft, I know, but I was in so much pain and fed-up with it.

I got the saucepan and tray washed, and took the meal though to the recliner, and eventually got my poor old back settled in a position that was not too uncomfortable. Of course, by then the food was not very hot! Globdanglesods!

I wasn’t going to go through the agony of getting up to reheat it, so I tucked into the bowl of beef curry. Notwithstanding, nevertheless, and however, the taste was not too bad at all. Had the meal been warmer, it may have got a better Flavour Rating than the 6.5/10 I gave it. The other can of beef curry in the cupboard will be used later, and not rust away or be given away.

It took a long time eating though. The moment I moved to get up and do the washing of the plate bowl and cutlery, BPB started again. Oy, Oy, Oy! Did I feel it, too!

Eventually, I got washed, stripped down, and back in the c1968 recliner again. Gawd know how long it took me to find a position that BPB would tolerate a little better – I expected the worst… needing a wee-wee, sneezing, or wanting the Porcelain Throne and having to move again. But nae bother!

Not that man like me was concerned over a little pain and agony, of course. Ahem! The prayer and confession I offered up, brought no reply or relief.

Surprisingly, I nodded off quickly. Waking up just before midnight, still in pain. I removed the remote control, empty packet of Frazzles, and crumbs from my folds in my belly fat…

Inchcock Impetuously – Sat 21st Nov 2020: Worst Day for months. Oy, Oy, Oy!

Henry mountaineering on Janet! ♥ Hahaha!

Saturday 21st November 2020

Finnish: Lauantai 21 Marraskuuta 2020

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Due to ailments, this will have to be a short version of the day ________________________________________________________________________________

23:45hrs: Stirred, Wee-wee. Pains. Mug of Thompsons Punjana. Medications, extra Codeine taken.

Between working on the Friday post, going to the Porcelain Throne, and constantly having to tend to Little Inches fungal lesion bleeds, and hell from BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda); the wee-wees dried up and became rare indeed.

I did the Health Checks were done. All figures not pf much interest to me, I’m afraid. I had so many of the old ailments ganging up on me.

Three hours after starting it, I finished and posted the blog. Facebooked, and went on the WordPress Reader section, and Nicodemus’ Neurotransmitters started giving up sending messages to the brain. Making things go so slow and frustrating for me. What next?

BBB, Dizzy Dennis, Saccades Sandra all offered  Nick support in making the day one of the worst for months for me.

I did the BP, the SYS was up for the first time in a few days. Fancy that!

Then the Porcelain Throne was attended. More bleeding, Harold’s Haemorrhoids now, as well as poor Little Inchies Fungal Lesion. But the motion was back to an unwillingness to move concrete-mega-torpedo. No doubt about it, Constipation Konrad had the upper hand over Diarroreah Duncan and Trotsky Terence today. But most likely it’s my own fault, I’m not sure if I took the Dioctyl® poo-softeners or not last night. I took an extra one afterwards.

Well, as I went into the kitchen to make a brew and take a photo of the morning sky now, it was beginning to lighten a little. And Duodenal Donald kicked off. The stabbing pains being as low in the gut as they were, was indicating, judging by past experiences that Donald (or, I) was in for a long haul.

But I was determined to get some Templates made up. I was full of grit, determination, stupidity and agony. Spurgledamnations!

Then a real ailments-causing, marathon (over seven-hours!) session of making up templates. After which I got a very late brekkers of noodles and some biscuits. Pickleglobknobs and Simper! Hahaha! What am I laughing for?

I somehow got them done, and was not up to much then. I got down in the recliner, the headphones on, and listened to some classical music, half-hoping to fall asleep.

But, no! I reckon over the next three hours I must have nodded off at least twenty times, but it was only for a minute or two each time. On the umpteenth waking up, I decided if I didn’t get up now, I’d never get this blog done, I’d not even started it yet, although I’d got the template ready at least. It was well beyond my usual head-down time now, and confusion had joined the ailments.

: I got the kettle on, thought about if eating was a good idea or not. (Duodenal Donald was so vicious!) I added some gravy, Soy sauce and garden peas to the CCC (Chilli-Con-Carni) in the pan, to make my mind up later. Then, the wee-wees started coming suddenly – and kept on and on coming! Grunglebogknickers!

I was semi-proud of myself for tackling this blog so late, and in the condition I was. But I didn’t start it, due to the Porcelain Throne Session demands, mark 2 arriving.

I really didn’t think there was any rush, so made the Glengettie and left it to brew, and meandered staggeringly to the wet-room. Shogglebogights! The damned evacuation started of its own accord before I got myself sat down!

Total embarrassment! Shame! Self-Disgust and Feeling-Sorry-For-Myself modes all at the in unison! This time it was like rock-hard meatballs! A lot more painful, plenty of bleeding, and, of course, followed by the job of cleaning up the body-parts, and wet room floor! Good job I bought the expensive break-the-bank-account Germoloid Ointment! It really is so cooling and effective!

I Cleaned up and back to the kitchen to put the milk in the Glengettie. Oy, Oy, Oy! Nicodemus ensured that I dropped the milk carton – at first, this was a point of pride… I’ll explain further: I’d not taken off the cap of the bottle, and managed, and a bit of juggling with it, to catch it in mid-air so to speak – a smile of self-contentment broke out.

Then I lost my balance, went over to my right, and grabbed the counter to stop my going over, and I proceeded to knock the things off of the draining board.

I was so disappointed with myself, the items are still there now! As I bent to begin retrieving them, BPB gave me such agony, I gave up, wailed silently, simpered, and even threw the now cold tea away!

Yet found the concentration to get this blog finished early. If anything else occurs, I can add it Sundays post.

I got a wash and down in the c1968 recliner, in search of sleep again.

I was still there, pee’d off with having to get up so often to pee, two hours later.

Got the computer on and sent this off to WordPress.

Today was a nothing day. One of the worst for ailments in ages!

Grumbleclonkackers!

Inchcock Today – Friday 20th November 2020: I think I’ve caught euphobia?

Yee-Haa!

Friday 20th November 2020

Welsh! Dydd Gwener 20fed Tachwedd 2020


23:30hrs: BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda) was with me from the instant I stirred from my slumber. She was in a fiery-mood before I attempted to move, and got more severe when I tried to free my grossly overweighted, mega-flobby-stomached body onto my feet.

As the need for the Porcelain Throne became obvious, I dare not rush, because the balance was taking its time in settling things this morning. I had to take the risk of delaying things until I was steady on pins, and was semi-symphonious in mind and body, to ensure I’d get to the wet-room without and tumbles or Accifauxpas. The risk of some escapages was high. I arrived in the room, in what seemed a long, long time, and I was in time too, to evade any plop-outs! No leaks en route! Phew!

I whipped down the jammy-bottoms and PPs, had barely settled on the plastic seat, and the motion started of its own accord. It was more painful than yesterdays efforts, but Troksy Terence beat Constipation Konrad, 3-1! A much easier evacuation, quicker, and only a smidgeon of bleeding from Harold’s Haemorrhoids! Not as messy either. Smug-Mode-Adopted! 

I cleaned up and went to get the medicationalisationing done. Felt a twit again, when I found last nights tablets in the pot, untaken, obviously. So, this is the third morning I’ve found this had happened! So I took the tablets, applied the Phorpain gel, guzzled some of the pathetically weak Peptac medicine, and put in the Saccades Sandra drops in the eyes. Bit of a job innit, gerrin’ up. Hehehe! I took an extra Codeine 60mg, as BPB was still nagging away at me, and I had Anne Gyna beginning to stab all around the chest as well now. Also, I made sure I took the Dioctyl® capsule, that is important not to miss, as it is just beginning to win the fight against Conrad Constipation, and I do not want to end up on the Throne for hours at a time again!

The blood pressure was down a decent amount, to 152/72. Which was unexpected and welcome. We’ll see wots wot, next time! I mustn’t get too excited. Simper!

The temperature was up a bit, too 36.8° c, the highest it’s been for months. I think this is a good sign, too?

I got the computer on, and back to the wet-room for Porcelain Throne session No.2!

No rushing to get there this time. A repeat style of evacuation as the one earlier, but with a bit less pain involved, Super!

I got on with updating the Friday blog. Not a lot left to do on it, uploading the photos took a while, but it was soon all done, a lot more time checking and double-checking, and got posted off.

I emailed the link. Went on the WordPress reader, some fantastic stuff of there today. Then Pinterested a few pictures. Answered some comments, and caught up on Facebooking.

Made the first mug of Glengettie of the day, and took a picture from the unwanted, light & view-blocking kitchen window. It wasn’t top quality, but it showed the lights along Winchester Street at the back and Ramsdale Crescent, closest.

I made the brew, and brought it to the computer and booted it up. I made a start on this blog for a few hours and stopped around 06:30hrs, as the ablutions would soon be needed to be done before the Iceland delivery arrived, that would be anywhere twixt 08:00 > 10:00hrs.

Well, Back to the Porcelain Throne again, for the third time! Pilestosufferagaintime! So, I opted to get the Ablutionalisaitoning done at the same time. I’m assuming that I made a mistake (No, it does sometimes happen, Chortle!), altered timing of the medications.

Which was due to my stupidity, puerility, cretinism, and asininity in missing the evening medication-taking for the last three nights. But it didn’t bother me at all. Egads! 

This third Throne affair was not as good as the earlier two were. Humbugski! Only because Harold’s Haemorrhoids poured out the blood so freely. Took me ages to stop the flow, medicate things and clean up. Then I had to get a scuttle on with the ablutioning.

But it went okay. Had it not been for the teeth bleeding, a few little nicks shaving, at least a dozen dropsies, my clearing the cabinet of all the items, giving myself a knock on the head while trying to get down using the picker-upperer to retrieve the ointments, tablets, sprays and olive oil from where they had to fall, behind the cistern. Why in hell, couldn’t they have fallen on the free open space on the floor? Skullclogglebonks!

Ah, well, at least the pins and toes, although mega-pale, were looking, and feeling okay and alright this flipping Friday morning.

When I came out, the lighting and colours outside looked unreal, as if the Lord had just repainted them.

So, once I’d dressed. I got my Nokia camera and took these three pictures. (Ah! I meant the Nikon camera, sorry). Mr Billumski, the Ohio State RCM (Red Car Monitoring) President, will be interested in the great number on sight in the road and car parks today? Or not! 

The photo I took straight ahead from the balcony window (That’s the one with the habit of the metal-spring-clip that needs pushing and pulling at the same time to open or close and have mangled many a finger, mine and even the NCH fitters, sent to mend them!) I’m waffling again, forgive me. The colouring kept changing, and the weak sunshine was covered by the clouds, but I managed to catch it this time. Bootiful!

I got the ‘YourArea’ magazine opened, and found some Coronavirus figures on it. At first glance, it appeared a little scary, but on closer inspection, the 878 figure was for the last seven days. Which us about 40% down on the rolling total.

But the crime figures I found for Sherwood, didn’t look too good! I copied this article for a bit of interest. Incidentally, between the two other people I’ve actually spoken to this week, and myself; None of us has seen a uniformed policeman in Sherwood for months now! Not good! I love the comment from the Neighbourhood Police Inspector!


Did some work, updating my personal dictionary, and the Iceland delivery man, he rangeth the intercom. I pressed the release button, and two Nottingham City Homes men were leaving as he entered.

I feel it only fair, to inform the gentlemen, that for a few second, we can hear what they are saying when someone calls us. I’ll say no more!

The gentleman dropped the bags inside the door for me and was looking a tad stressed. I assumed this was with his being running behind on his deliveries a little. So, I slipped him a can of plonk and thanked him profusely. Which cheered him a little and brought a half-smile to his face, which in turn, cheered me up!

I moved the carrier bags into the kitchen. I seem to have bought more than usual? Then set about storing the purchases away. I soon realised that I’d bought some Christmas treats on this order, that was why there seemed a lot.

The cleaners I put in the main junk room. I’d only bought one bag of frozen, potatoes shapes, and had worked out I could just about get it in the fridge. But it was a 50% Extra Free bag. So had a job on making room to get it to go in the drawer. Hahaha!

I got the hands wet with the ice, and (without thinking, as usual) l rang the hot water tap to wash and dry the hand. But I got sidetracked when I dropped a packet of biscuits. So I fetched the picker-upperer to retrieve them with, as I say, unthinkingly leaving the hot water tao running, I returned and dipped my hand in the bowl… Aghh! I ran cold water on it for ages, then rubbed some Savlon in the skin. What an Eizel!

When I got around to putting the things in the fridge, another struggle, moving things around to get the new fodder to go in, Tsk! I split the red grapes in half and put them in a carrier in the original box to take down to Jenny. I added one of her Christmas treats and a bag of wholemeal cobs. Well, they were such a good offer price, but I had to buy two packs to get the offer. And thought of Jenny, Doris and the charity she supports so much. Waste not, want not!

I then got the three-wheeler guide and put them in it, to take down to Jen’s apartment. I got down, rang her bell, and came back up in the elevator.

As I turned, BPB (Back-Pain-Brenda) was giving me more discomfort, I can’t understand what set her off this morning? I had the struggle to get the trolley back in the door again. Something else that confuses me, I’ve never had bother like this getting in the door before, until this week? Most peculiar?

As I was getting ready to take some more photographs, it suddenly went so dark.

And yet, by the time I grabbed the camera, the sun was out, but obviously only through a small hole in the clouds.

I took a well-zoomed-in shot of the kiddies play area in Woodthorpe Grange Park. A few folks out there enjoying themselves, and was so pleased to see them all being good and observing the social-distancing rules, bless ’em.

I was getting a little weary now, and wondered on what to have for my nosh. I opted for smoked streaky bacon (from Germany this time from Iceland, last week it was from Poland, but it looked a bit fatty!) I only have two tins of tomatoes left, neither of them with a ring-pull opener.

I tried the new battery-operated one, but no luck with getting it to do anything yet. I read the instruction once more. I was about to make a change in plans, no way do I want to use the old finger-cutting one again; And, I tried the old-new one, Gotten-Himmel, it worked – but not all the way around the lid! I got the oven glove and carefully as I could, opened it far enough to pour the chopped tomatoes into the saucepan! Smug-Mode Grade2 Adopted.

I put the bacon on a tray and into the oven with it. Then investigated which seasoning to use. I got carried away I think, I added some Hickory, Soy Sauce, Squid vinegar and mild chilli powder. GAve it a good stirring, while thinking what a twit I was using these additions. Yet, after stirring for ages, I tried a spoonful, and I liked it! I’ll wait to see what it tastes like with the bacon in, before getting carried away. Hahaha!

It was grand! The wholemeal cobs were flavourful. Taste-Rating 8/10. It was devoured with delight!

All-in-all, a mixed day ailment-wise. I’ve had worse, much worse.

Obersturmbannführeress Deana popped in for a quick How yer doing?

Then, I had a wash, took the medications (Aha, I remembered!), and got down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly beige-coloured, unkempt, fluctuant, ramshackle, broken-down, uncomfortable, dusty, rusty, decaying, tatterdemalion, heavy yet tottery, rickety recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus – and it didn’t take long to find!

Inchcock – Thurs 19 Nov 20: Soylent Green Memories Prompted!

TFZer discrete meeting? Hahaha! ♥

Thursday 19th November 2020

Danish: Torsdag den 19 November 2020

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00:40hrs: It all happened in a sort of slow-motion, to start with. I semi-woke up and lay there pondering the upcoming opportunities this dedicated ‘Toilet Day’, of 12th November, had to offer.

What Accifauxpas, Whoopsiedangleplops, Disasters, Failures, Stalemates, Mental-implosions, Frustrations, Defeats, Katzenjammers, Nonachievements, Babalaases, Pitfalls, Disappointments, Mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, Hallucinations. Materialisations, Poltergeist, Lemures, Spectres, Spirits, Spooks, Eidolons, Wairuas, Kehuas, Manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum, to torment and frighten the bejesus out of me; that might present themselves this Thursday.

Oddly enough, as I was thinking of this ‘Dedicated Toilet Day’, as I was removing my potbellied, portly, wobbling, paunched-bellied body from the c1968 recliner, a borborygmic mini-explosion from the innards, signalled the expergefactorial need for the Porcelain Throne. I thought it would be a good idea, if I didn’t delay, and got to the Porcelain Throne with all haste! So, I did!

Not only did I get to the wet room without any bother, (Well, there was a short loss of balance, but that was my own fault for not catching it as I grabbed Metal Micky), and that only lasted a few seconds without any detrimental damage or injury.

What followed was most encouraging. This session was the even less painful, no enteralgia, no bleeding!

And comfortably evacuated; This is first-time that this has happened in many a month! Yee-Haa! But I knew this could not last for long. But I  enjoyed it while it lasted.

Mind you, the poo colour was a sort of green. Still, it made a change: super-easy passage, and a pretty new colour for me to photograph for the gastroenterologist’s Neurogenic bladder and bowel management record.

I was tickled-pink, started singing to myself! (The Young Ones – Cliff Richard) As I was getting up to sort the cleaning up, I spotted the gunk-cleaner on the shower floor, that I’d left to soak in last night – and had forgotten all about doing! Oh, dear!

I went out to the hallway and turned on the shower-power at the box. Back in and as carefully as I could, got the shower on and I sprayed the cleaner away…

But it looked far worse than it did before my orgulous bright-spark of an idea was used.

Humph and Knackwrangles!

And then, of course, to completely demolish the memory of the successful Throne session and semi-contentment of the marvellous evacuation; The moment I moved the showerhead into the right hand so I could turn off the water, and Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters failed, and the showerhead flailed all over the place. This resulted in my attempt to retrieve the moving water-jetting, hose-pipe like head, I had a tumble to the floor and got an early morning closed up shower, and soaked the jammy bottoms and me, and I got a few knocks new and bangs, in the process! Tsk!

The struggle to get back up, the cleaning and sorting out, were done in a silent, stewing mood, ruminating and chewing the cud; determined not to get in a sulky frame of mind at the return of my devil’s own luck, and eventually affirmed it as just a tribulation. I was pleased with myself then, at how I’d talked myself into just accepting things, knowing these incidents will only get worse as the neurotransmitters slowly die anyway. Confusingly, sometimes it’s like this, others, I get all het-up, cursing my fate, and start Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna off, but not on this occasion? I sort of habituated, adapted to the situation. I’ve no idea why this is so, but I’m pretty content and stilled about things now.

I made a brew of Glengettie tea and realised than yet again, I’d not taken the evening medications! What an Ahntoisht, Shilmazel! So I took the evenings doses, and hope that I remember in size hours or so, to take the morning ones. Putz!

I carried out the Health Checks. The sphygmomanometerisationing first. But I didn’t fret over this reading, no doubt the falling over altercation had effected the reading, I’m sure.

The new thermometer did not work first try. Do I turned it off and back on again, and got this disappointingly low reading, again though, this is probably due to the fracas in the wet-room?

I got on the computer and started to update the Wednesday blog. Which was done in a reasonable time for once, the ailments seem to be feeling sorry for my tumble, and are being kind to me perhaps? (I might be losing it again here!)

I poddled to the wet-room, for another wee-wee, and when I got back, I noticed the veins in the left arm were almost luminescent? And, odd;y they looked a little greener than usual?  When I took this photo, I used the flash, and it came out looking more strange than it really looked, but I WordPressed it anyway, cause it looked so odd. A camera glitch? Anyway, it made me think of Soylent Green. Hahaha!

Of course, it might just be one of the resident Woodthorpe Court mysterious Eidolons, Goblins, or Aliens, that are checking out my innards. The Chilli-Meatballs last night might have confused them? Chortle! Cackle! Guffaw!

I got the updating finished and sent off. Then emailed the link.

Pinterested some snaps, the got the ablutions sorted out. Well, I started to anyway. But I remembered the morning dosages needed to be taken, so returned and tool them, then back to the wet-room.

I noticed as I stripped off (a horrible, harrowing thought for you, I’m sorry. Hehe!), that I must have picked up in the tumble. Pretty scratch, though! Hahaha!

The teeth cleaning went fine.

The shaving surprisingly, only brought about two tiny weeny nicks, not worthy of mention really, but it’s too late now, I have written it. Simper!

I found one of the miniature wounds from the Accifauxpas on the right-hand knuckle. I seem to have picked up some nicks and bruises, ain’t I? However, the showering, which was something I was a smidge concerned about with the balance not yet back to normal, went great! No Dizzy Dennis’s, there was not a single clout or banging into anything, I was well pleased again.

The medicating was as smooth as could be expected! No bleeding from Harold’s Haemorrhoids or Little Inchies fungal lesion! The dressing was only bothered temporarily by a dodgy-wobble getting the trousers on, but I remained on my feet, Oh. Yes! This is a better day, up to now! Perhaps, my prayer and a few words to Mr G the other day had got through? Or, not! Snortle!

I was in good form after the ablutions, and set about moving the hand-washed togs about, to nearer the heater, now they had stopped dripping.

That reminds me of when I was a whipper-snapper! Every Saturday morning, come rain or shine; after I’d set and laid the fire, and done my paper rounds, I had to go to Sanderson’s Tripe & Cow Heel shop, on Arkwright Street, and wait (sometimes for hours), to claim the ham bone, once enough had been sliced and sold, 3d (Threepence it was)  And heaven help me if I couldn’t get it! Dad would not be happy with me at all!

This look like the original shop, I could find a photo of when they were open. Gawd the place smelt gorgeous! Once a fortnight I had to some tripe as well. Every week, the jellied pork dripping they sold, 9p a pound (weight) was bought as well. Oh, the memories are flooding back now! Of course, when Dad was working on a Saturday, meant I had a few hours of waiting for him to arrive home. Which, in the rare event that one of the three items was unavailable; meant I had to wait for the clips around the earhole longer.

Happy days, rough, hard work. Mater kept disappearing to avoid the police, so muggins had set the fire every morning! Do the paper rounds so kindly got for me by Dad, the cooking and cleaning too. But I did feel needed, wanted, and the odd belting!

But I was content, I knew no other life! There were plenty of lads worse off than I was… I’m waffling again, Sorry about that. It’s a bad habit of mine, wandering off, on some unrelated topic. Still, I do enjoy getting these memory-prompting meanderings.

I got the black bags gathered and onto the three-wheeler-guide trolley, and had a job to do it, but got it out of the door, along,  the lift lobby, and into the waste room, and deposited all the small bags down the chute.

It was deathly quiet, and no signs of any tellurians. Even the ‘Hum’ was quieter today.

Even Herbert has only been heard on two occasions up until now. I’m beginning to worry about this. He’s not one for persiflage, more your sort of taciturn, reserved, reticent, antisocial type.

The walk back to the flat along the newly, highly-attractive, ornamentally decorated and floored lift lobby.

It felt so. Haha! 

Getting into the three flat’s lobby was easy enough this time, and at that moment, I was feeling better than I have for a few days, getting tired, but that’s to be expected.

But, when it came to getting into the front door, that’s the maroon one, that the workers laying the floor for us all, decorated with some gunk for me, and left it there, and I have no intention of cleaning up – Swine!, I felt the weariness take a strong grip on me, and the missing so far today, Dizzy Dennis kicked into gear.

But I was not mentally tired, only bodily. Does that make sense? I went out on the balcony to take a couple of photos of the busy scene down below on Chestnut Walk.

Blimey, we had a traffic jam! Hahaha!

I spotted some crows in the distance and snapped them, but it was not a good shot. Shame. I wanted to post them to the TFZ site, Lona might have appreciated them.

Doing some updating on this blog, and I thought I heard a clunk, it may be the belated INR WArfarin results and new dosages. It was, and the dosages had changed. Meaning, because no one from the Clinic, Anticoagulation or Deep Vein Thrombosis had informed me from the Monday test, I have been taking too few Warfarins tablets since then. This Coronvirus is most likely killing a few people without the virus!

The landline chirped and flashed. It was some woman on a recorded message again, telling e they had taken £75 something from my account for ‘Prime’, if I want to cancel this press One, so I did. Waffling on a woman with either a Chinese or Indian/Pakistani accent – I couldn’t tell if it was recorded or real voice, she was going that fat, and without a cat in ells chance of understanding anything she was saying. I rang off.

Dizzy was joined by Anne Gyna, and I gave up on the computer and got the nosh prepped.

I had a good sniff at the out of date potato cakes, and luckily, they passed the sniffing nasal-assessment, so went in the oven, and were added to the tray.

The Chilli-Con-Carne, with the added tomatoes, mild chilli seasoning, Squid vinegar, garden peas and gravy, tasted jolly good!

There was so much of it though, you can see here that I couldn’t eat it all.  Titter! Seriously, it was a worthy 9.3/10 for a Flavour rating!

I was doing the washing up when Dizzy Dennis and BLB (Balance-Loss-Brian) allied to attack me. From here onwards, memory, of the night was enveloped it a vague mistiness.

When I woke up later – there was no scribbling on the notepad. I had a criminally, painful backache, and the shoulder was so painful. Signs of an Accifauxpa? But no memory. I’d not taken the evening medications, and was wearing the reading glasses?

Another mystery of life in Woodthorpe Court. Hey-Ho! 

Gawd the lower back hurts?

Inchcockski – Wednesday 18th November 2020: I hope that ulteriorly, things will improve for us all

Some TFZer lads getting the new cabin finished off Hehehe!

Wednesday 18th November 2020

Italiano: Mercoledì 18 November 2020

01:25hrs: As I stirred into ersatz life, my first thought and first word were the same! “Uh-oh, yikes, argh, and move it, youth!” Yes, the need to use the Porcelain Throne, front and back, were both urgent and nervous-making!

However, by the time I’d had the altercation of getting out of the recliner, catching my balance, and grabbed Metal-Mickey – I was in the wet room pulling down the PPs, within two minutes! And felt an iota of pride and self-satisfaction in how I coped with it! ‘Smug-Mode-Grade B-adopted!’

And, it got betterer! The session was one of the easiest and least painful I’ve taken in months! ‘Smug-Mode-Moved-up-to-Grade B+!’ Amazing, no bleeding whatsoever, not messy either! But it was massive, and the cistern needed some help via my hand-refilling the tank a few times to rid the evacuated product from the bowl.

The knuckle I’d burnt on the oven grill last night getting the Morrison-substituted for Sweet-Potato fritters, crap, horrible-tasting McCains Salt and Pepper chips; (I just thought I’d mention them again – it still wrangles me!) was looking lighter and getting better already.

I got the Health Checks done next. I used the Boots sphygmomanometer again, it gave a 168 reading for the SYS. But after reading up on the optimum yesterday on Mr Google, it is barely a couple of points over what I should expect, so nae bother.

Then, I took the temperature with the new thermometer.

It was 35.7°c, that is another good one, it seems to be more consistent lately.

As I was putting the zip-up jumper-jacket thing on, I noticed some more of the papules were coming up on the stomach, side, back. Not unexpected really, let’s face it, there is such a mass of bloated flesh around the midriff for these and the spots, blotched, furuncles etc. to pick from. Hehehe!

No teaing it this morning, I got on the computer, to get the updating of Tuesday’s blog done. But a change of heart occurred, and I made a brew of Glengettie, and as I was going to take the morning medications;

I realised that with nodding-off so easily last evening, I’d not taken the night’s tablets. Tsk! Yet, I’d taken the weak Peptac doses, applied the Phorpain gel, and applied the Haemorrhoid ointment. I was a little confused, had I been nocturnally wandering again? Hey-ho! I took the PM ones, and hope to remember to take the morning ones, later on, I’ll give it a few hours, mind.

I got the photos from the SD cards uploaded, and resized them and onto the file for WordPress. I stopped part-way into the updating, (04:00hrs) for another brew, Thompsons Punjana this time. Making damned sure I didn’t forget to take the Dioctyl® capsule, as they seem to be working a treat at countering Constipation Konrad.

I went out on the balcony, to have a nosey around at what was not happening outside, and took this photograph, in Auto mode, it came out alright.

Then a picture of down below on Chestnut Walk, I thought that Ohio’s RCMS Red Car Monitoring Services, Head Honcho, Managing Director, and jolly good egg, Billumski could use it on his mega-computer, to give him some idea of the British angle?

I got the meatballs in BBQ can, which luckily for me, had a ring-pull opener, and got it in the saucepan. Added the potatoes from yesterday, a small can of baked beans, and tried a spoonful—a little bland. So, I then pondered over which flavourings to add to it. I eventually added balsamic vinegar (not a lot), Some dark Soy sauce, mild chilli-powder, vegetable stock, and Squid sauce-vinegar. I didn’t start heating it, of course, far too early. I stirred it all up well and tried some. Yep, that’ll do for me. It’s on my limit for chilli, but it should be alright. Quite looking forward to it now.

Back on the computer and finished the blog. Sent it to WordPress. Emailed the link. Did some comment reading and replying to. Then Pinterested a few shots. Then went on Facebooking.

As it opened, I got a message come up on the screen. I think they have misunderstood somethings.

It told me that they have rejected and removed some photographs I’d added to the Medicationalistical Album gallery?

It is not within keeping of the rules it seems. They then more or less said; If I am struggling and suicidal… and gave me a Facebook link, to where I can get help?

Well, I never!

Ah, well, I’ll get the ablutionalisationing done now… no, my indeterminacy and dithering got the better of me again. I decided to get the washing to soak in the sink, making it easier for me when I get the rinsing done after the ablutioning. I thought this seemed a good idea. But I used the new dark clothes liquid cleaner the, and one capful was enough, more than enough! The bowl got, so soapsud clogged, I decided to press on get it sorted now. Also, the right arm was responding to Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters a little more at the time, so I got them done, rinsed several times (hehe!) wrung, and hung, above the sink to start draining. Did alright, no major dropsies either. Yee-Haa!

The ablutions, well, what can I say? A big thank you to Nicodemus for not playing up much for once, Cheers Nick! The reason for the many nicks when shaving was my own fault, I was using fresh Bic disposable razors and had put new blades in the big razors. Sounds complicated? It is!

What I do, is use the Bics first, then go over again with the standard double-bladed razors, which usually give a better, closer finish. But, mugwumps here, had forgotten that he has missed a shave, and was using new blades and razors, and went at it with his usual gusto, like what yer do (Haha!) All tiny little nicks, those that will be caught again and again over the next several shaves. Thus, the blood bled! But not much. Now when I shave again in the morning, it will be a proper bloody affair I fear. Serves me, right!

The showering went fine, really great really. Other than Neuropathy Pete, launching into one of his involuntary, but short, right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances; but it caused little bother, other than a reasonably painful clouting of the ankle on the shower chair, no sweat!

Dried off, did the medicating and got the slippers back on. I did notice that the left foot this time, was showing signs of a vein bubble or ulcer coming up, maybe. Spider veins have never bothered the left foot before. Mmm?

 

I see the ‘Care’ haemorrhoid ointment is running low, I do have some Germoloid cream, which I find much more of a relaxant. But it costs £6 for a tiny tube, Humph! Then I knocked the tube off of the cabinet, and it took several other medications with it to the floor! Hey-Ho! For once, I got down and back up with ease almost.

I remembered to take the medications out of sync. See? I can get some things right, you know… Not often, I admit. Hahaha!

I went back to the bathroom, to spray some gunk remover on the mouldy spots and left it to soak in.

Then I got on with blogging again, for several more hours.

Closed down Computer Cameron, got the meal cooking, with some chips that went on the tray in the dish as well. Hehehe!

A flavour-rating of 6.5/10. The gravy being tasteless despite my added seasonings? So, the next can of meatballs I try, I’ll put a little extra chilli in it, then it might taste better. (I never thought I’d write about me using chilli, never mind talk about using extra in a meal, Hehehe!) The chips were nibbled at, but they were not very good.

I went to get the pots washed, as the rain returned outside, I took a snap of the weather. But without opening the new light & view-blocking kitchen window. I didn’t fancy get soaked. Hehe!

I got down to take the evening medications, but fell asleep before I got around to it – Zzzz!

Inchcock Today – Mon 16 Nov 20: Lamentably, ludicrousnesses lingered!

TFZers in the Gym ♥

Monday 16th November 2020

Hindi: सोमवार 16 नवंबर 2020


22:50hrs: I broke back into the real world, accompanied by DD (Duodenal Donald) and AG (Anne Gyner), both giving me as much hassle as they have ever done. (Bless ’em!) Swiftly being joined by the gut-aches, rumbling, grumbling and, I expect, preparing the path, brewing up for a Porcelain visit.

At least I was feeling a little more with-it, mentally, than yesterday. I knew that my beloved, beautiful, blood-vampire nurse, Hristina was due to call on me. She is always very busy nowadays, but her visiting, even if only for a few minutes, is better than any medicine.

As I extracted my ponderously-gross, wobbly-bellied body from the c1968 recliner, caught my balance, grabbed Metal Mickey, and moved my plum-shaped torso towards the amazingly little-used EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket), the left wrist started to itch. As is usual, I gave it a good scratching. Hello, more blotches and papules coming up?

As I was about to pick up the bucket – the innards rumblings increased, and I took immediate action, and I made for the wet room. Getting to the Porcelain Throne, almost tearing the jammie-bottoms, and actually tearing the PPs, as I desperately got down just in time, and the evacuation started! It hurt, but it always does nowadays, but far less than yesterday. But messy it certainly was! Back to the khaki-coloured torpedo style, leaving bits floating that looked like overcooked brown kale. Minimal bleeding, though – but maximum cleaning up needed. However, I was glad I’d got that over with, I can tell yer!

All sorted, washed and medicated, and back to the front room, and I got on with the Health Checks. At this stage, I wondered what was going to go wrong this morning, after the last few days record of Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops! 

But, my determination to stop being a victim stopped me! The BP result for the SYS was 167, which was in line with the previous two ones. I put the figures into Google to see how they faired. I got this: “Normal pressure is 120/80 or lower. Your blood pressure is considered to be high (stage 1) if it reads 140/90. Stage 2 high blood pressure is 160/100 or higher. If you get a blood pressure reading of 180/110 or higher more than once, seek medical treatment right away.” I see!

I then took the body temperature on the new thermometer. The 36.6° c result is fair enough, I reckon.

I took the morning medications, remembering to take the Furosemide tablet and the Dioctyl® Capsule with the regular ones.

No tea this morning yet – It’s True! I had the spring water to take the tablets and took the odd guzzle from spring water, and cordial I made up.

The innards seemed to be settling, but Anne Gyna was rampantly stinging away, still.

I got Computer Katie on, and uploaded the photos and stored them in the appropriate files, and WordPress.

Then made a start on this blog as far as here, next I updated yesterdays post and got it sent off. I emailed the link. Pinterested some snaps. Caught up with the Facebooking, then went on the WordPress Reader section.

Then I got some breakfast. The last of the Batchelor’s noodles, but well altered and seasoned. Made and added some gravy, balsamic vinegar, and the last of the few Foul Beans. And my first jolly-strong brew of Glengettie tea, and carried out the morning dining, (not even 06:00hrs yet).

While I was making a start on creating some graphics, well, one of them anyway. I realised that it was time now to get the Ablutions sorted out, for Hristina, my sweet Vampire nurse is coming. I wanted to make sure that in case she comes earlier than expected, like last week, she can avoid the horrendousness of seeing my rhinoceros-like body when I went out of the shower, again!

A smidge too early for me to have a shower with the noise it makes (07:20hrs) I don’t want to disturb anyone if I can help it. So, I had a stand-up jobbie, but I do miss having a shower, even though the risk of falls, dizzies or knocks are always present and likely to occur, in differing degrees every time I use the shower, nowadays.

It’s just my heroic outlook, bravery, bubbling personality, and a chance to view my muscled but lithe, masculine young body, you now… Oh, alright, forget it! Hahaha!

Stand-Up Ablutionalisationing Activities Report

  • The teeth cleaning was one of the betterer events of the session. Just a few dropsies.
  • The shaving only produced three nicks, but eight dropsies! No injuries were worthy of note.
  • I did get somewhat over-enthusiastic in cleaning the rear end – much bleeding and stinging from Harolds Haemorrhoids! A struggle to stop the blood flow, but I got it stemmed, nit without some discomfort and mess, in the end.
  • I can’t believe how stupid I am, yer know! I only went at cleaned Little Inchies fungal lesion, with the same idiotic ardour, and this time the blood flowed for a worryingly long-time, well, bled.  
  • More of the Hydrocortisone (Steroid) Daktacort ointment was needed than ever before, to stop the tiniest of cracks (lesions) from bleeding!
  • However, on the brighter side, apart from looking like a carcass, the legs and feet were losing the new growths? The blister thing that came up very quickly yesterday had gone right down again? And the ulcer was even fainter?

Reading this about the ablutions as I checked, it and made countless corrections (of course!), it sounded worse than it was. Other than Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, maybe Harolds’s Haemorrhoids, it didn’t go too badly at all.

I got out of the wet room, leaving another clump of shoulder skin on the edge of the door-frame as I misjudged the width again, and said: “Oh, dear, ay-well it can’t be helped”. Well, maybe not those exact words… Humph!

I got some small waste bags made up, and as there was a chance that heart-fluttering Vampire Nurse Hristina might arrive soon, I put them in the box on the trolley to take to the chute later.

Then got on CorelDraw, determined to get some graphics done. Nicodemus, SSS and Shaking Shaun were all in a good mood with me! And by the time my sweet Angel arrived, I’d made two-day graphicalisations and a TFZer page header one!

Smug-Mode Adopted!

I heard and recognised the voice calling, it was Hristina, my pulchritudinous, precious, bewitching, blood-taking, loin-girding, ‘Cheer-Me-Upperer’, and phlebotomists vampire nurse ♥. Someone had let her in the foyer door, and here she was. Happiness may only come for a few minutes each week, but this was those few minutes! And I wallowed in them! But it felt like seconds later, she was off to serve someone else… My momentary burst of happy contentment degenerated, deteriorated, dwindled and a mild depression relaced them! Dangnableisations! 

I opted to try and cheer myself back up; and made a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea, and took some photographicalisation from the light & view-blocking kitchen window, that was obviously designed by a gerontophobia, or maybe person living with gerascophobia. I took a shot of below on Chestnut Drive; the car park looks well-full this lunchtime.

I turned my photographicalisationing attentions to the dank, yet still beautiful skies.

To the left, straight ahead and to the right. The layered cloud appearance was there still, but not so obvious with no sunshine to burst through.

I noticed, although somewhat late in the month, I admit, that my Nokia Ultra-mobile, with 512MB, £1,399 for 128GB storage, with its gargantuan, 6.9inch display screen, and the hole-punch camera, and ‘Space Zoom 100x ’mobile phone had not had the time changed yet. So I altered it. Ahem! But I took this photo and tried to get my head in the reflection for a laugh. Gawd, look at the pale death-like skin!

The bells rang out Dusty’s hit tune.

I got up and staggered to the door, to find that the Amazon automatic can-opener was on the floor outside the door. Aha, I thought, I can have tinned food without any problem now! Little did I know what farcicalisations lay ahead for me!

I got the parcel into the front room, and I was interested in trying to see how the thing worked, and if I could operate it with my disabilities.

These were claimed to be: Can Openers Electric, Hand Free Electric Can Opener, Restaurant Kitchen Can Opener, Ergonomic Design, Free of Manual Labour, for Senior Arthritis Home Gadget!

We’ll have a look and see then.

At least the instructions were readable. (Lies, but decipherable). I’d got the batteries in the machine, within an hour. I read and reread the instructions several times.

But would it work? No! No signs of life or activity.

Finding someone to help will be difficult, and I’m getting tired now after being up for over thirteen hours, so I’ll surrender, and give it a go again in the morning. I imagine it will be who’s all confused and is to blame. Hogwashville again?

I ferreted about and got a ring-pull opener can of Chilli-Con-Carni. No ring-pulls on the red beans, so I tried the new opener again, no luck.

Tried the old-new electric one, no luck either, dead as a do-do!

Desperate times call for desperate measures. So, I tried the new one again, but nothing happened, I think that the batteries should be good, I only bought them last month?

I was really in a frantic state now, so I hunted around and found the old tin hand-opener. It was a real struggle, it only part opened the can. So an old knife was utilised, to free the red kidney beans from captivity, but it cost me two little cuts on the jagged edges of the can. They were that tiny, I was surprised they bled at all.

Still, I pressed on and got them in the saucepan with some boiled potatoes and the chilli. Then I added some Squid and balsamic vinegar, and made some gravy (Well Oxo), and gave it all a good stir and agitationalisationing. Hehe! 

The landline burst into ringing and flashed. It was Sister Jane, that was nice! News that Pete was at the City Hospital having is radiation assessment, and they told him he was making OK – Music to the ears! We started to have a chinwag, but Jane had an incoming call from Pete came in and had to ring off. Or as HRM would say, Orf! Hahaha!

I got back to CorelDraw, still, I haven’t got the graphics done, it’s been a little busy today.

As I was listening to the comforting sound of someone banging about,  the door chimes rang out.

It was an Amazon delivery. I knew what it was, the Pimms and lemonade drinkies, I intend to slip to Jenny, Doris and Frank. Also to callers, delivery people, medical staff etc. as a thank you treat, towards Christmas.

The first photo I took of it, I missed most of the box, the balance went, but I was so conveniently placed at the time, it was easy to steer my falling body into the swivel chair, bit of luck there!

All okay in a couple of minutes. And I took a photo of the Pimm’s canned treats. I must look up what Pimms are, they have a 5.09% content, whatever that means,

I nipped through to the kitchen to check on the Chilli-con-Carne, but now I have to get the Pimms sorted, so I turned off the heat, just my luck!

However, the food looked good!

Oh, flipping heck, the door-chimes rang again! It was Josie this time, bringing her Sunday dinner things back. She said she enjoyed the potatoes, very nice and cheesy! I told her that’s good. I like to hear I can get something right. Hehe!

Put the things away and got back to CorelDraw, not that my concentration was any good. So tied and unfocussed again.

As promised, by the gastroenterologist, proctologist, the supply of the inside the underpants pads had been delivered.

All three of them! In a Tena sample bag. Considering that I use, on average, nine PPs a week, these are not going to last long are they. But at least they are trying to help me.

I was beyond doing any graphics and decided to get the meal reheated, and get some rest and possibly even sleep.

Hahaha! As if! It was another (albeit unexpected) belated Amazon delivery.

I got the box inside; the delivery driver had long gone by the time I got to the door, I’m getting, like I do every day now, weary, slow-moving and slow-witted, and can only think of food and Sweet Morpheus.

I’d forgotten all about the shoes I’d returned. These are the replacements and look like the right size this time, but we’ll find out later, I’m too tired to muck about with them now, the meal and recliner await my attentions.

That is if the phone and door chimes let me!

Off to get the fodder sorted out, back in the morning, or evening.

I had a bit of fun setting out the CCC meal, using the potato letters. Hahaha!

A flavour-rating of 7.8/10 given.

No sooner had I done the washing and got down in the c1968 recliner, and got the TV on to watch a Kitchen Nightmare, the minute-long nodding-offs began. I found getting off amd staying asleep difficult, but manages it… Zzzz!

Inchcockski: Sunday 15th November 2020: Another cock-up day. Humph!

Cor! ♥

Sunday 15th November 2020

Hawaiian: Lāpule 15th Nowemapa 2020

————————————————————————————————–

23:50hrs: I stirred into this cruel, hyperbolic-ridden, masquerade called life, with all-consuming guilt you wouldn’t believe! I don’t!

The thought-storming was simply unstoppable, with the torrents of fears, worries, concerns, seemingly fighting each other to get their messages of gloom, to me! I questioned my own sanity at times. Where have all these apprehensions come from, and why?

I tried to elutriate them from my mind, but they turned into a self-blame and shame mode. Even the need of a wee-wee was of minor concern, countering this guilt-ridden state of mind was more important to me at this time.

As the wee-weeing urge, became stronger, I somehow temporarily partly-absterged them from my mind, and struggled, with a foggy-headedness, to force my Arthur Itis-suffering legs and bouncy-flabby-stomached torso out of the c1968 recliner, caught my balance, and found that Metal-Micky (Four-pronged walking stick) was not in reach, at his usual place at the side of the Ottoman?

I was deceived for a few moments, but I had to hobble, stickless to the EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket) To pass water, and I found Mickey in the corner near the bucket – the well-used, and half-full, the bucket!

Can anyone please tell me: How the heck, can I wake up in the night, unmangle my body from the recliner, get up and catch my balance, go to the bucket, have a wee-wee so many times, and back down again, and have no memory of doing so? Just thought I’d ask!

After using it, I managed to get the bucket to the wet room and cleaned up, disinfected, and back to the front room for future needs and demands. Then made my way to the kitchenette to get the kettle on, and had to hasten back to the wet-room!

The need for Porcelain Throne being the cause of this. And what a change this time!

Having got my body down on the seat and assumed the recommended optimum position by the gastroenterologist Doctor, (try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehe!) Back straight, feet raised on a box… Nothing happened, the motion started for a few seconds, then it was out with the crossword book time. I happened to look at the clock when I turned after getting the puzzle book – it was five minutes before the motion started again. But by gum, it hurt, but was light lightning, which caused more pain from poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids! Massive, nae monstrously-massive, one-torpedo size again (perhaps the size of the submarine? Haha!), a sort of wet clunk was heard as I eventually freed it from the innards and back passage,  followed by a sort of gurgling noise?

The relief was lovely, though! But the cistern couldn’t cope with the submarine, and needed two refillings of the tank from the tap, to encourage it to disappear from view! Then the cleaning up that was another long job. The bodily refreshing and ‘Care’ haemorrhoid ointment applying, was something that set a new standard in the level of agony, today! Cor, blimey, I was in a right uncomfortable state. Tsk!

A final wash and sanitising of the contact points and back to the kitchen.

Where yet another new standard was achieved. Oh, yes! But not in pain. Thanks to an ill-timed dual-attack by SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) and BB (Backpain-Brenda). On the right, you’ll see the results of my determined efforts to get some decent photographs were taken, of the view outside. The first one SSS made me catch the flash on switch early as I was about to open the window… But at least it had a reflection that shows the state of me poor old Cartilage Cathy ridden fingers. The second below must be one of my worst ever shots, Humph! 

I took the body temperature as I waited for the kettle to boil. Well, well, another first for this Sunday! The temperature of 36.4°c was the same as yesterdays! All these years of having to record them for the surgery, this has never happened before.

The results for the SYS from the Boot’s sphygmomanometer of 166, would usually have been of concern to me, but compared to Saturday’s, it was betterer, well much lower anyway.

I finally got started with updating yesterdays blog. It cost me three hours, plus another one when I added a template for today’s to go on. But at least the ailments were being fairer to me at the moment. Apart from poor suffering, ripped open by an exiting, solid, giant-sized torpedo, Harold’s Haemorrhoids, they were very tender, any movement at all now, well how can put it? Argh!

I did another vain search for the Nikon camera lens, and the rain poured down, but it didn’t stop the louder than ever annoying ‘Hum”s droning noise! Grrr!

I thought it was a good idea to transfer the Kodak lens to the Nikon camera. Cunning eh?

Then I dropped the milk and made such a mess. I was on the point of crying. (I think a few tears may have leaked out) This did Duodenal Donald no good at all, seconds later Anne Gyna showed her disapproval!

Then as I was getting back up from cleaning the crap up, I hit my chin on the edge of the sink, and SSS gave me a shaking!

Depression Returns – Well, at least fed-upness!

Now I had enough – I openly spoke with our maker! (Honestly!) It went something like:

First, you let me get born with the tiniest, dinkiest manhood twinkle in the world, babies have more than I do now! Granted me double-pneumonia at three years of age. Made me as thick as pig-shit, so schooling was a nightmare of being bullied.

And why did you make me play in the school team when the flu bug (1959 I think), had lost them many footballing lads off school – I was the shortest pupil at that school, and they put me in goal! Come on! (We lost against Corpus Christie, 13-0)! I remember it well; they beat me up on the bus going back!

I worked hard and long hours, and you had me made redundant three times! You stopped me getting a tobacco and drinks licence for the shop, then allowed me to get robbed by my accountant, go bankrupt, end up doing security work, in which I was not just the only member of staff to get shot on duty – but, TWICE!

Then you made me go bald, sent me a duodenal ulcer, angina, deafness, saccades, lost half of my thumb, stopped the reflux valve from working, a hernia (fair enough they did find cancer while mending that -you didn’t see that one coming did yer!)

Then a dodgy ticker, new mechanical Aorta valve, three break-ins at the house and I had two muggings in Carrington, then the stroke (Thanks for that!)

Peripheral Neuropathy diagnosed! Then diabetes, return of lung struggles, then the bladder cancer. And the ankle and foot ulcers, they are just great fun. I’ve got a new one coming this morning. Thank you. I could go on mate, but I haven’t got the time. Humph!

Oh, go on then! Cheers for putting in such misery, frustration and risk of death, by making me use the Carrington Pharmacy, 343-345 Mansfield Rd, Carrington, Nottingham NG5 2DA, Telephone number: 0115 960 5453, just up from the Lidl store, but genuine thanks for having Jenny ♥ nearby.

Gawd I hope there isn’t a God now, or I’ll be for it!

Then, I prepped some potatoes and got them in the slow-cooker, to have with the Chilli-Con-Carne. I went to open the can with a view of adding some passata to marinate in the mixture.

Arrrrgh! The flaming new electric can opener is not working now! It gave out a whine, shuddered and died.

What next!

  • I woke up full of guilt and not knowing why!
  • Lost the camera lens cover!
  • Took two of the worst ever photographs in my life!
  • Suffered agony on the Porcelain Throne!
  • Fought to get the WC to work!
  • Smashed the milk bottle!
  • Nearly knocked me out hitting the draining board!
  • The Amazon can opener has packed up!
  • Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna are giving me a pasting!
  • And I think I’m losing, what bit of a molecule of grip I have left on life, now!

If there a word stronger than depression that I can use?

I had an uncertain moment, and for some reason had to go and check that I had not left the tap running in the wet room, which proved a painful experience. I hit my right knee against the shower chair, and thus, Neuropathy Pete, launched into one of his involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dances, and over I went. Getting back up to my feet (eventually), to find I’d clouted the left wrist against the chair on the way down. Hey-Ho!

I carried on blogging away; the wee-wees are not so regular today. Mind you, with the amount I must have past last night; it’s not surprising.

I’ve still got to get some graphics made up, but Josie’s dinner has to be prepped and made first. Back in a bit, I hope. I did some comment reading in between.

Then back to the cheffing duties. All went reasonably well, apart from cutting a tiny nick into my finger, adding the butter to her potatoes. Serves me right for using a knife to cut it with!

The cheesy potatoes I tried adding a little milk to them (Hence the lost bottle!), and plenty of butter, sea salt and Leicester Cheese. Sliced the last tomato, an egg, a fishcake with smoked haddock inside, a fillet of smoked salmon, a few Surami sticks, garden peas, and some pickled beetroot slices. A can of spiced rum and cola, and a couple of the Skinny strawberry chocolate nougat bars. I managed to deliver it once again, dead on midday. Josie said she liked the strawberry skinny’s and asked what was in the can and breadcrumbs. So I told her. Hehehe!

I was beginning to wane a little now and realised that getting any graphics made up was a no go. With Donald and Anne Gyna still bashing away at me, I was suddenly not up to much.

But I was determined to have a search for the Nikon camera lens again, which I tried to do methodically. On what must have been the third scouring of the kitchen, I realised I’d got the potatoes on the crockpot nearly done now. So, thought I’d have a tin of the ring-pull chilli and the potatoes for nosh later.

This was when to my own disbelief, I spotted the Nokia lens cap on top of the large slow cooker! Possible laughing at me! Hehe!

I decided that I’d swap them back, Kodak and Nikon with their own caps. This cheered me up a tad… but no, does anything ever go right with me?

The Kodak cap which was on the Nikon was now missing! Am I going mad, here! It cost me another hour of delving into any possible place that it could have fallen, checked all the jammie bottom pockets, jumper and coat ones too. Drawers, shelving as well! I even searched between the two chairs in case it had dropped down. This bending and getting back up again only made Anne Gyna and Duodenal Donald angrier with me.

While I was giving up, I went to return the torch to the drawer… and thought I’d have a looking with it, between the computer desk (Hopewells G-Plan design, 1962, bought from the charity shop when I moved into the flat), and blow me down with a feather duster – there was the Kodak lens cap! I returned it to the Kodak camera.

There was no celebration about this, and I found myself back at this mornings state of mind, and the thought storms began again. To try and shake them off, I abandoned the computing and got some nosh sorted out after all. Which worked! Yee-Haa!

I found a can of CCC (Chilli-Con-Carne) that had a ring-pull opener, and some gravy and the boiled potatoes from the crock-pot. The last few Foul Beans from the fridge were put in the mix, and all armed upon the hob. Some milk roll bread, and a lemon yoghourt as well.

Absolutely divine! Flavour-Rating 8/10! As you can see here, I didn’t leave a lot! Mmm!

The washing up of all the pots and cutlery etc. from both Josie and my meals took what felt like an eternity!

I stripped off, flopped down in the recliner under the quilt, and settled to awaited the Nightmare Kitchen programme to start. I blissfully fell asleep, woke up in need of a wee-wee, forced my lumberous body from the recliner, had a wee-wee of the WTPP (Weak-Trickling-Pale-Painfree) mode… and realised I had not taken the evening medications yet. So I took ’em!

About three minutes into the programme, Sweet Morpheus returned. Nice!

Inchcockski – Sat 14 Nov 20: An oppugnant, yet discrepantly confusing day!

TFZers at the Gym – Yee-Haa! ♥

Saturday 14th November 2020

Croatian: Subota 14 Studenog 2020


0025hrs: Boy, did I wake up in a huff? I was grumpy, reluctant to move, to the point of clinomania setting in.

The brain wasn’t very lucid but retained a depressional outlook. And then a rare morning Thought-Storm started! As fast as the next worry, fear or semi-panic came along, I’d forgotten the previous one… Oh, dear!

I must have been dreaming something of a disturbing nature. There are soupçons of memory of the dream, but patchy and made no sense. (Mind you, I should be used to that by now, ‘things making no sense’, especially since the stroke.

Hey-Ho! The need for a wee-wee saved me. That helped concentrate the mind a little. By the time I had struggled out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly beige-coloured, unkempt, fluctuant, ramshackle, broken-down, uncomfortable, dusty, rusty, decaying, tatterdemalion, heavy, yet tottery, rickety recliner, and caught my balance, the Porcelain Throne was required as well.

As I hobbled to the wet room, the same thing happened as yesterday morning, and a swift, sharp Dizzy Dennis attack, had me grabbing for support as the balance went again. But this time, I stayed on my feet and didn’t hit the wristlet alarm against the door and set it off. Phew!

I got on the Throne, and the releasing of the wee-wee blasted out of the bladders own accord. As it hosed away, the bowels made a tiny movement, and that was that; so I needed to apply some pressure to get it started, it was taking ages to encourage things along, and I had a go at the crossword book while waiting in agony. Once the action began, and it took a while to start, I was astounded at erm; how long things felt, painful all the way through, but such a relief!

I rose to inspect and note the state of the passed item, to record it in the Poo-chart for the clinic. Flipping-Thunderation! It was massive, bloody and a very light brown colour? I was pretty sure that the blood was from poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids, made a note of condition, and set about with the stick, breaking up the gigantic torpedo to allow it a chance of being flushed away!

The first flush cleared it all away, amazing! Anticepticated the rear end, and applied the ‘Care’ haemorrhoid ointment (that stung a bit, Haha!) Well, that stirred the mind and cleared the fogginess a bit!

Of to the kitchenette with the camera, to take a shot of the morning view, and get the Health Checks done and recorded. Then made a brew of Glengettie.

But could I find the camera lens? No! I spent ages searching and ferreting around looking for it. All with no success! For some reason, this got me going with the self-hating pattern. So annoyed at myself!

The blood-pressure SYS, had now gone up to 189?

I assume due to the hassle and upset already suffered this morning, the angst? One of the highest ever readings this was, I think I have had a score of 189 twice before?

The temperature with the Made in China thermometer, was a much betterer level though, at 36.4°c.

I took two of the Dioctyl®, to hopefully soften things in the Porcelain Throne arena. Hahaha!

Then I came across last night’s medications, still, in the lid I use, untaken, not used, missed off… What an Eizel I am!

I kept stopping what I was doing to have more repeated hunts for the missing escaped lens cap. No success, of course!

Then I did a right IDIOT (Inchcock-Daft-Insane-Outlandish-Thing), perhaps something that is unique to those nearing the end of sanity; I got the template (this one) made up, and forgot all about not having finished yesterdays diary yet! And carried on writing. It took me several hours for this to dawn on me! I stopped working on this and went to update the Friday blog. At the same time, I was Feeling an even bigger nincompoop than ever!

To make things worse than ever, as I got the blog opened, I got the dizzies. I was out of sync and hazy for a couple of minutes or so.

I went slowly and carefully onto the balcony for some fresh air and returned feeling physically a lot better (Note, I didn’t mention mentally?) The entire bottom half of the blog I’d done, was completely wiped off? I couldn’t work out what I’d done, or what’d gone wrong!

Frustratingly, I had to do it all again! Are you sure today isn’t the thirteenth? Tsk! While trying to sort out what I’d missed, my inorthography and concentration had gone to pot as well. The worst it has ever been, caused mostly by my memory problems, and Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, I imagine.

Eventually, I got it finished and posted. Pinterested some snaps. I emailed the link. Did some Commenting on WordPress, then I did the Facebook. As I was planning to go on the WordPress reader;

Peed-off altogether now! So I tended to the ablutions. Hoping the Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet will be back on afterwards.

Ablution Session!

  • I got in the wet-room and the Porcelain Throne No.2, was required. Well, almost a delight this time! No crossword puzzling needed, the evacuation ground its way out a little quicker this time – no bleeding at all, but a little messier. It was requiring two refills of the tanks and three flushes to clear things away. Well pleased with this!
  • The teeth-cleaning went well also. No bleeding, and not too painful at all!
  • The shaving was cut-less! Yep! Not a single nick!!! (I can claim no victory in this, I but need to thank SSS and Nicodemus for withholding any attacks whilst the preening took place!
  • The showering was a weak area for good luck (Tsk!) Two Dizzy Dennis visits ended up with two bangs on the right arm, one on the grab bar, and the other on the power box, which caused a little skin scraping.

  • A tiny few second Involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Pete Schuhplattler dance, caused me to clout the right ankle ulcer against the metal chair leg, which enflamed it a smidge, but nae-bother really, it looked worse than it was.
  • The new growth that started to come up on the right ankle a couple of days ago had now disappeared?
  • However, I seem to have another growth coming through now, on top of the right foot, a greeny-grey one? Ah-well!
  • The drying off and medicationalisationing went so well, and with such a lack of pains, I kept wondering if I’d done them or not! Great!

I doubt if I’ll have such a good session again, if at all! A Smug-Mode could not be resisted!

Not that a man such as myself, with my heroic, brave, devil-may-care approach, and good looks, my statuesque, muscular, young body, was bothered, of course. Cough, cough!

I returned to the computer to find the internet working again. I got on with updating this blog also, the rain started to fall again, and it seemed to get so sold suddenly.

It was drizzling again.

I investigated the emails for messages and any notifications about the Coronavirus figure locally. The past few days, they don’t seem to be informing us as much. I opened the ‘YourArea’ email and had a nosey. It took me a lot of searching, but I did find this one for the UK, on the BBC News Site.

Gone even darker now, but the rain is lighter, not that it matters to Prisoner 72, Woodthorpe Criminal Court. Hehehe!

Made a brew and took another Dioctyl® capsule.

I don’t want to go back to the rock-hard torpedos! I found this comparison chart.

Ah, that’s the one I was looking for.  They seem to put a seven-day running total on nowadays. There must be a benefit of this, but I wouldn’t guess at it.

I sorted out some small bags of waste and got them in the box on the trolley, then added the recycling, and glass jars. 

Got them stacked up, and took them to the waste chute, dropped the little bags down, and then caught the lift down to the ground floor, out through the lobby, got the glass in the green bin, recycling bag in the big bin, and returned into Woodthorpe Court through the lobby, into the elevator and back up to the 12th-floor, and into the flatlet. 

And all without seeing a soul to chinwag or talk to! But on the bright side, a rarity indeed – not a single LOB (Loss-off-Balance) or Dizzy Dennis visit going out or coming back! I distinctly recall thinking of this as I struggled into the flat with the 3-wheeled walker guide.

Then had a bout of LOB & DD immediately afterwards! Humph!

Back to graphicationalisationing on CorelDraw, and Dusty Springfield emanated from the doorbells.

It was the J Sainsbury delivery lady with the food order for me. The same girl as last time and I noted she’s come early, not like last week when she was nearly 2-hours late (Not through ant fault of own).

She filled the box and bag with the goods, a lot of stuff today it seemed.

I somehow got the big box through to the kitchen with the bags, then got the stuff stored away.

I got the bacon ready, potato farls in the oven, warmed up some canned peas, cut up a tomato or two, sliced a Jenny-provided pickled egg, I spread some milk roll bread with Lurpak, the meal was getting to look tasty before it was prepared… a.

There was a let-down though, the new electric can-opener would not work!

But I soon got to work gobbling up the meal, and made a decent job of it, too! But the Irish potato farls I’d undercooked a smidge, but still, the meal got a Taste Rating of 7/10. Maybe back to Chilli tomorrow, it depends on what Josie has, mind.

Medications were taken, then I got down in the recliner. TV on… Zzzz!