Inchies Frictional, Unfrivolved, Fricking Friday!

Things started pretty well for me, oh, yah!

I got the Halloween hand-outs on display…

For carers, nurses, come who may,

Anyone visiting me from today…

Then got the potatoes, boiled with balsamic vinegar,

And a spot of Worcester sauce, & a pinch of demerara sugar,

They’ll do for later if I remember the bugger,

With the chilli, and put on some more sauce, tartar?

Titivated the kitchenette, dropped a jam jar!

An excellent job that it wasn’t the caviar!

The jar didn’t break, and it missed my feet…

Things were going well, all seemed alreet,

Off to the computer with a mug of tea, took a seat,

I even nibbled some biscuits, wholewheat!

The landline rangeth, the Amazon man, a right pain!

T’was then that my good luck, nosedived again!

We couldn’t understand what each other said,

So I went down to meet and talk to him instead,

His English was better than my Afghanistani,

But he left me, in the lurch, there was no barny…

He abandoned the food with me in the lift foyer, the Git!

I had to get the parcels into the lift, and I wasn’t fit…

Back up to the 12th-floor, struggled to get the bags out,

Then had to get them into the lobby,

Then into the flats lobby,

Then into the flat,

Then the hallway…

Then the kitchen, my energy drained away!

Next, the swearing started, I have to say!

The Git had put bleach in, it leaked, had to throw my bananas away!

The baguette buggered, utter dismay!

Tomatoes crushed, and I was feeling bushed!

Honey yogourts pot fell apart; I was further crushed!

Got the salvaged food sorted,

I was pissed off; I felt like I’d been ambushed!

The cooked ham was crumbs and crushed!!!

I was feeling despondent, to say the least!

Can’t see myself enjoying tonight’s feast!

Got the fodder all sorted… What was eatable anyway!

I was determined to get the treats out today for those who have helped me out over the year. Jenny, Norah and Frank, and Obergruppenfürher Deana and Obersturmbannfuhreress Julie, the ILCs (Indeependent Living Coordinators) at the flats. I rang them both to tell them I’d be coming down later to see if it was alright, as they may have been busy. Recorded messages on both phones that told me they must be busy. So I’ll get the goodies sorted out and go to Jenny then to the office with them.

As I was going out of the door, struggling a little with the walker-trolley, the postman came into the foyer. Oh, dearie me! This sounds like it may be a con-job?

An official-looking brown envelope, a white one, and then he handed me an ‘insufficient postage bill for nearly £11 for something that has been sent to me?

He kindly offered to ask his boss if he could pay for it for me, get the ‘parcel’, and I can refund him, and he’ll bring it in the morning. I was dubious, as I don’t think ~I am expecting anything through the post? Anyway, I thanked him and took him up on his generous offer for me, with a certain feeling of doom.

The white envelope was from Meridian, three A4 pages, about my Christmas needs for carers, Logging-in, Shadowing & Spot Checks, McMillan Charity Ball, On Call Centre procedure, and a Service-User Forum Wednesday 8th December at Foxton Gardens.

I didn’t over concentrate on owt, but the dodgy sounding parcel postage cost thingy. Then thought I’d try ringing the Wardens again, let them know I was coming down to see them and ask if they could have a look at the Social Services letter for me.

Finally, I got back to the walker-trolley of goodies, of off down to Jenny’s. On the way down, I thought to myself… well, I felt sorry for myself, really. Everything suddenly going into panic mode; surely things must calm down now… Hahahahahaha! Crap!

I called at Jenny’s flat, rang the bell and knocked on the door, and returned to the lift.

Down and into the connecting corridor with Winwood Court.

Called at the Wardens Interrogation and Body Search Room and dropped off the nibbles. Dean checked the Attendance forms for me, and I signed them. At last, something was going right – Hey-Ho! Little did I know what Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops still awaited me yet!

Then realised I had not put the prescriptions list in the envelope.

Back up and down in the lift again, and down to Deana.

Gawd, it did! I thanked Deana and hobbled out of the Winwood Court foyer, the first time I’ve been in the fresh air for months now, I think… But it proved to be a hazard ridden journey to the post-box to mail the letter… Just when I stupidly thought things were getting better again…

Unbeknownst to me, the wind was howling out there, and it whipped the envelope and paperwork out of my hand, high up in the sky, swirling around and then seemed to turn back in my direction, falling down in the car park twixt the vehicles. So, if it had blown off again, I would not have seen it again… Semi-panic mode engaged. I pursued the envelope and had to search a bit to find it. Still, the relief when I saw it trapped in between the branches of a bush was welcomed, even more so when I managed to get at it in time before it flew off into the clouds again!

I limped hastily as I could to the mailbox, checked the envelope, and posted it; thank heavens for that. Although, my EQ told me it would not have mattered, because as the voice said: “You ain’t going to get no financial help, any and either way, cocker!” Which was a smidge disheartening, bearing in mind EQ has never been wrong with his forecasts… no, I tell a lie, sorry. He was once, just the one time.

I hobbled back inside and just had to tell Deana what had happened. At least she got to laugh out loud before going home for the weekend, bless her. Hehe!

I set off along the link corridor and got to the connecting door.

Boy, did I feel a fool!

I could feel the key fob in my jacket pocket, but could I find a way in to get it? No! I assumed it had gone through the lining of one of the pouches. Back through link passage and to Deana, thinking she may have some scissors for me to use, to cut through the pocket.

Within a few seconds of investigating the jacket pocket for me, Deana put on a broad grin – that I believe actually said, “What a pillock!” As she pointed out that the sleeveless coat had two pockets on either side, one behind the other!

I blushed, felt the pillock above, thanked her, and scurried away in embarrassment and fast as I could… back, yet again along the corridor.

The hobble back into Woodthorpe was masked by the deep and genuine worry about what the hell am I doing? Since retirement, nothing going right, or even things going wrong, has been a part of my life, but I am not coping so well with things nowadays.

The trip up in the lift left little recollections of anything. I should have guessed that Dizzy Dennis and Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley were about to erupt; the hassle for such a long time nearly always ends in a tumble or similar – this time was no different, I’m afraid; Well, it was actually.

The haze came over me as I began to push the trolley through to the lobby from the cage. I gave myself such a bash on the right shoulder; it knocked me sideways, I clouted my back on the other side of the lift, and I went down, almost in slow motion!

My Luck Changed!

I had no idea who it was, but a bloke came out of the end flats and got me up on my feet again. See, I am fortunate sometimes. I think he knew me cause he guided me back to the flat and helped get the trolley in for me. Not sure what we spoke about, but I think we did have a natter.

I made a brew of Glengettie Gold and sat down doing absolutely nothing, but fretting of course. Nodded off for ten minutes. Woke up in need of a wee-wee and felt so much better, then? Back-Pain-Brenda was the main pain-giver, but you can’t blame her after that little backwards tumble. Hahaha! I made another drink, and took a Cocodamal, then got on with updating this blog. I hadn’t really realised how late it was, although with all the palaver I should have expected it, the Evening Carer arrived.

It was Helen. After she’d done the medications, it was she who told me what a terrible day she’s been having. Bless her! When I related my day so far and showed Helen the photographs (I was still doing the blog updating when she arrived), She did laugh! Which was good cause it might have cheered her up a smidgeon, I hope.

I realised that I could not find the Warfarin card anywhere. Mmm? Mayhaps I dropped it when I collapsed on my rump? I went to check in the elevator cage. Nope!

Summat else to worry about now, Tsk! I got back in the front room and was going to do another search of the multi-pocketed jacket… when… I spotted it on the carpet underneath the computer cabinet.

I pressed on with this blog updating, and woe of woes, I got as far as I heard and realised it was almost midnight! I’d better get something to eat… ah, yes, the chilli and the crushed brochette, or whatever its name is, bread to me.

While doing the cooking, it was complicated for an old chap, like what I am. Some done in the crock-pot, chilli-con-carne on the saucepan on the hob, and wedges in the microwave, and as for all the cleaning up afterwards… Humph! Where was I?

Oh, yes, I took photographicalisations of the night sky.

Part Of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woes – With Odes Series.

Inchcockski – Friday 11th October 2019: Hot water system still not working!

2019 sOct 11

2019 sOct 11

Friday 11th October 2019

Afrikaans: Vrydag 11 Oktober2019

4Thu21a

WD 120.60.0 03:40hrs: Woke feeling rough, but ready to go. The EQ told me I’d have a bit or even a lot of hassle, but the end result would be good!?!?

I pondered on things and how they were going, but no involuntary fear and worry brain-storming. The utter cock-up with the near ten o’clock visits from the plumber chap moments after I had fallen asleep last night. The hot water not being able to be repaired and a new boiler and thermostat being needed. No chance of having it done today, so then I have Sat, and Sun, and however long, how many more days, weeks it will take to order the parts, and they get delivered before I can even think of having hot water available again.

How long is that going to be? But there was a strange feeling of chimaricness, combined with an EQ created passiveness and acceptance of whatever happens, and an assurance that it will be a messy, disturbing and frustrating failed day, with many cock-ups, gaffes, screw-ups,  and faux pas involved to come! Yet, I calmly accepted this. Worrying in itself that!

Then today has to be coped with. Dare I go out, just in case there is some movement on the boiler front from Nottingham City Homes? Good job I ordered extra food in from Iceland for today, cause it looks like being the fifth day on the trot of self-imprisonment in the flat. Humph! Then, I’ve got the chap coming to see me from the Stroke Team, and of course, the Iceland delivery. I got myself in a mind-muddle, trying to sort things out in my defective, baffled brain.

5Fri01Out of the second-hand near-dilapidated, gungy-beige coloured, c1968, sometimes working recliner, that Xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged while stealing my valuables when I was in the Stroke hospital, and off for a Porcelain Throne and wee-wee session. The evacuation was a decent one, no bleeding, although a smidge messy.

5Fri02The pins (legs) seemed far less mangled compared to yesterday morning. The feet looked almost human-like, too. The old ever-present ankle-ulcer scar appeared a little threatening, but this often happens, and it usually dies away again.

Even the Arthur Itis knees were suffering less this morning! A couple of visits from Dizzy Dennis was a little concerning, but at least they were short ones this time.

To the kitchen, boiled some water to wash the hands in the sink with, and made a mug of tea, then took the medications.

WD 120.60.0 I turned on the computer, and…

vir 120.0.60

I had to go through the palava of resetting the box, that failed. Turning off and back on, that failed. The rigmarole of turning off the Virgin box for a few minutes and then again on – and that did it. Even though Mr Fries attempts at driving me completely bonkers were partially successful, I got the pathetic overcharging Liberty-Global Virgin Internet back on. But it was slow, and hard work using it. Cheers, Fries!

I made a start on this blog, and then updated the Thursday post, after almost forgetting too. Fertummelt fool, I am!

Back to try the web, it was not so slow now. I may regret saying that! I got the graphics on for today, and it was time for the ablutions to be seen to.

WD 120.60.0 The farcical, ridiculous ablutions! But at least I didn’t drop any hot water on the three trips to and from the kitchen this time. The dropsies were numerous; Toothbrush (2), Razor (2), Soap (6), flannel (2), shower-head (1), towel (2), shirt (1), body-spray can, and knocked over the stack of PP’s (Protection Pants).

Mercifully, I cunningly and sagaciously avoided the often blood-blisterisationing, and painful Sock-Glide-Scrimmage, by not wearing any socks!

5Fri005I went on the WordPress reader. Turned off the computer, and had a try to tighten the handles on the new trolley-walker. But it wouldn’t have it, and I soon gave up trying. Although no guilt was attached this time, why I don’t know. Every day a  different mood. Which sometimes changes several times semidiurnal, or more.

5Fri00608:45hrs, the intercom sounded, and I responded to the hallway. The Iceland order had arrived. I admitted the bloke and readied for his arrival.

He took the bags through to the kitchen for me. I thanked him, and he was off, like Roger Bannister. Hehe!

5Fri007Note that I am newly prepared for any onslaught from Diahorrea Donald that might come again! Oh, yes! I took a closer look at the size (a bit narrower than others), and the quality of the tissue. They seem strong enough to me. Good value too!

I decided to go and try to catch Riechsfhreress and Catwalk Model Warden Deana, to keep her updated with the hot water situation.

I dropped off the black bags down the waste chute, returned and got the recycling box, which fitted well in between the bars of the old three-wheeler trolley, down in the lift, and dropped the carton off at the caretaker’s door.

5Fri007cI walked along through the link corridor to Winwood Court, taking a  picture of a bloke through the windows.

I met and chatting with Welsh William as I did so. We both got to the Warden’s Interrogation and Holding Cell office together. Handed out the nibbles, and although Deana was talking to William, she asked if I had anything important to say, as they both started to leave the room. I mentioned quickly that the fitter had called last night, and I need a new boiler and or thermostat. Off they went. 

I thought I’d take some photos of the big social room, but realised I had not taken the camera with me. Oh, dearie me! Back down and through to the main room, taking photographs from left to right:

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5Fri14Back up to the flat again. As I limped along the link-corridor, it was almost eerie, being free of any humans, other than myself, of course. Hehe!

As I got to the Fire Escape doorway on the left, I had a nosy through the glass.

WD 120.60.0 The bottom of the stairwell was 5Fri15there, and the external Fire-Escape door.

I was not impressed that someone had left a black bag close to the inner door, for someone in a panic to trip over. Also, there was an obstacle of some sort or other leaning up against the frame of the outer Fire-Escape door. Mmm! Prospectively Dangerous, that!

I made my way back up to the apartment and put the final touches to clearing the Iceland things away. The freezer is now so full, I fear the weight might cause things to fall through the floor. Haha!

Sorting out and putting away the goods, I came across the jar of Polish mushrooms; the one’s I could not open when I bought them last month! I decided it would be a good idea if I stabbed the lid and transferred the contents to a sealed container. So I did!

5Fri16

5Fri018As I was putting away the mushroom in the fridge – well, making room to fit it in (Hahaha!) there, the door chime rang out! It was the Stroke Physio guy, I didn’t catch his name, a grand young man. He’d kindly brought two different types of walking sticks for me to try out, to see if any might help prevent any falls. He patiently waited and watched as I tried 5Fri017them both out. The one with a broader spread of ‘feet’ on it was not really suitable for this tiny flat. I tried the smaller-footed one (photograph). This was much better but needed some time for me to get used to it. The Gent will call be back in two weeks to see how things are with it. Not only that, but he set to and stiffened the wobbly handlebars on the new walker, for me! Much appreciated his help and understanding of my situation. He said he would have a word with Nottingham City Homes about my problem with the hot water, failed promises and the difficulties; the lack of hot water is causing me. Damned decent chap! Good looking, young, had hair, wasn’t bald and charismatic as well!

An hour later, around 12:00hrs, the door chime burst forth yet again. Popular today! Twas a Nottingham City Homes maintenance guy, who’d come to have a look at the hot water boiler. (The young Physio man, had made an excellent job of his phoning them, for me! Thank you, Sir!)

He made an initial inspection of the problem in hand. George his name was, very patient and efficient too! He fetched some tools and made an in-depth analysis of the situation. I can’t remember exactly what the problem was: but it needed a plumber to come, move the boiler around and replace something. When he has done that, George will return to get the hot water working again. I resisted getting too excited, knowing my record of cruel deplorably lousy luck! But, even the thought that there might be a good outcome had lowered my Anticipatory-Defcon-level by one! The dream, the possibility of being able to shave without risking my life and limb was born! However, I was wondering if the situation was a simulacrum, or real.

WD 120.60.0 During the day, many letters and flyers were received:

  1. A: Proof of my astounding value and worth. 1p interest earned in my savings accounts this year! Humph!
  2. Free filum, Saturday Night & Sunday with details of how to get entangled in booking a seat.
  3. Must be booked Boy Scout provided a meal for £3
  4. Oh dear, how confusing indeed. Severn Trent, to tell us that a water leak is under the flats. They cannot find it? We must find it! Insurance might help pay for it, but only if we have taken out a Homeserve or British Gas policy. We must call a plumber!
  5. If the leak has not been repaired in 14 days, ST (Severn Trent) will complete the repair themselves and recover the cost from those who are held (The tenants?) responsible!

5Fri24

5Fri25I’m a bit worried again, now!

Just when maybe there were signs and indications of the hot-water fiasco, might be about to get solved. Another Gawd-forsaken, nervous-making, situation arises.

Surely we cannot be held responsible for water leaks? For gracious sakes!

5Fri019The skies were leaking as well, now. Time is getting on fast now, no signs of the plumber yet. I’ve written that a few times this week, haven’t I?

Despite not having a meal yesterday, I am not feeling peckish at all, yet, anyway. But the tiredness is dawning again. This week’s other bugbear has been the lack of sleep, caused by lack of communication and the fibs given out by Nottingham City Homes for five days, telling me that a plumber would arrive every day, who didn’t! So I was having to stay awake for a ridiculous time, even 20 hours at a stretch, waiting for the non-arriving plumber. As I await one again, I hope it will not be the same today. I still dare not go out, to the laundry, or anything yet now. But hey, life was not meant to be easy. Not mine, anyhow! Grumph!

WD 120.60.0 No plumber arrived yet. I wonder what it’s like outside in the fresh-air? It’s been so long since I had a hobble! The rains stopped now, but still looking a little bleak.

WD 120.60.0 16:10: Hours, the plumber arrived. The job is too big to do. What needs doing will need a minimum of 4 hours, and the lad finishes his shift in two! He phoned someone at their HQ and told him what he thought of it. Said he’d been doing little fiddly jobs when he should have been sent here, then the situation would have been done, and George could have come back and connected things up, so I could have had hot water!

WD 120.60.0 The plumber lad put in an urgent job request for Monday first thing!

5Fri27

So, the EQ was spot on again when it warned me this morning.

WD 120.60.0Mega-pissed-off. Fearing using kettle and saucepan for washing and shaving. In fear of an accident happening this weekend. (Not from the EQ, just a feeling) Had enough! Don’t know if I can cope with it anymore. Fed-up! Arsed-off!

Going to make some Dagwood sarnies, and try to get some sleep. Not that I expect to, I know I’m too uptight!

WD 120.60.0 And then… Christ! What next!

vir 120.0.60

Cobblers!