Total mayhem-problems with the . I’ll try to explain what they were chronologically. But with so much and farcical situations arising, I did little else all day. Trying to sort out getting the flow to the bag again… and even worse problems. As I hope you will read about; I need some good luck through the ether to me, so I can cope with them a little easier and not get frustrated so much. Not many memory notes on the pad. It all happened so persistently.
I woke feeling myself for the first time in months, peeing away merrily… I thought I was dreaming at first, but no!
The blood and urine mix was all over my clothes, body, and the £300 second-hand shop bought nine years ago, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner.
The flow was so vicious, that the Protection Pants were soaked, and legs, socks, feet and slippers were covered in blood. I got the night catheter off first; no point in cleaning up and making more mess straight away… Huh!
Aha! I’ve found some scribbled notes – hard to read, but I can use them for updating here and there. Seems I got up at 03:00hrs. And took off the night pouch and visited the , the first of several in the morning. The first three were practically normal evacuations; the next three were sticky, phooey and messy!
Sorted out the mess of the pouches and got new Protection Pants on. I just had a smashing phone call from the Lovely Lisa-Petal ♥ and Billum 👍 in the US of A! I fear I was a little not up to much when the call came in, and I had great difficulty in hearing everything that the Sweetheart said. Damn it, we lost the signal. But it was fantastic to get the call. Lisa & Billum are my Cyber-friends and are much loved.
The needed attention all the time.
Rising, things looked okay
Removing the night bag
One of the emptying sessions
Carer Richard arrived. The bag problems were all I had to show interest in. I was a smidge depressed – but got to the stage of Dracula Depression later. The constant changes in the bag’s performance riled me. Richard got the medications done and checked in the right leg bag.
Carer Sarah was the next visitor. Got the medications sorted. Then the great cock-up with the Catheter Bag!
I emptied the blood again…
But the flow from the catheter was not getting through to the bag
The blood still flowed from little Inchie. But, nowhere near as bad. Unfortunately, my trying to get the tube further into the Little Inchie, it irritated the Fungal Lesion. Added to my having to bend and stretched so much to clean things up, the Mystery Stabbing Pain in the Ribs returned.
A damned good job. I’ve got a good supply of Depends in stock.
The Catheter pouch suddenly filled up in fifth gear time!
Boy, it was full!
Emptying the bag was difficult, with all the blood clots.
Carer Kara arrived. I told her of my problems. She wanted to know if I wanted the night bag fitting or not. I farted about and dithered on whether to. As I saw it, with little blood and urine going into the day bag again, it should be okay; with my doing the blog until the early hours, it won’t matter about missing sleep. I’ve missed that much already. (Sarcasm Detected)
Going to get this posted off and get some sleep if I can.
The scientist & owner of the 46 laboratories, Billum; Master of Computational Finance, Master of Science in Teaching now retired. Has put his developments in his underground laboratories of a Time-Machine and Automatic Pickled Walnuts Slicer developments, experiments and creation on hold, all in the name of empathy and care of blogger Inchcock. Why? I’ll tell yer…
Billum invited Inchcock to come to his scientifically outstanding latest additional laboratory, dedicated to Medicationalistical ailments in the elderly. Having read the news about the Nottingham pensioner was having with his Cataracts, Glaucoma and Saccades in the sad old twits blog. He’s got plenty of his own, yet magnanimously and with great beneficence, Billum offered Inchcock to visit and “Have your Eyes Checked” in Laboratory 102, dedicated to Optical Solutioning! A marvellous offer and gesture, which the old Nottinghamian jumped at the eleemosynary offer. (Not literally, of course, jumping awake, yes, he can and does do… I’m waffling off of topic here again; sorry!)
Someone so far away, with his own ailments to cope with, and cares for others… That’s Billum! On arrival, they fed me, washed me, and we were soon going down to Laboratory-102. A fantastic, amazingly dazzling reception area… I think that his son Alan is the one who deals with the building side of things.
Billum’s other half, HRH Lisa, came in and gave me a sexy, pulse-prompting dance routine to the sounds of 1970s music. While Billum checked on Google, I assume to refresh his memory on cataracts, glaucoma and saccades?
It seemed like no time; it does when you are enjoying yourself. Before Billum took me through to his newest Laboratory-102.
He started his examination of my eyes…
Amid so many tests, prodding, probes and the usage of, to me, unidentifiable optical machines, some that played music, others that hummed, I smelt the perfume of my beloved (but don’t tell Billum) Sweet Petal, HRH Lisa… it was tantalising and moved my loins. Or maybe the painkiller that Petal Lisa gave me caused hallucinations? It contained Codeine, CBD and Cáñamo Hashish, whatever they are, but I felt no pain; they worked a treat!
I was spoilt rotten afterwards!
ODE TO THE VISIT
They sat me on a luxurious settee,
That was warming; they were lovely…
Served biscuits and a mug of Glengettie tea,
Petal Lisa came in and sat with me…
Billum was typing his assessment, you see…
The cats jumped up on my knee,
Petal Lisa, gemtly kissed me… ♥
I realised the tests done by Billum, for free!
I asked Petal Lisa if she wanted an adoptee?
Billum came in his report in hand and calmly…
Said, “It’s’ alright, you’ve got two eyes, not three!
That sort of puzzled and confused me…
Billum gave me a large bottle of CBD…
I went to take a wee-wee…
It didn’t flow very freely…
I said I know I’ve two eyes anyway…
Billum added, rather pleasantly,
Well spotted, and sent me away!
I make these blogs for Billum and Lisa, my Petal, Not for anything that is epithetical… But to raise a laugh, which to me is congenital, For Billum, Alan and my precious Lisa Angelical! I believe a laugh is as effective as hexobarbital,
Enough of this waffle, I need another pittle, Usually a painful trickle… But releasing it is vital… But having a laugh, trying to be comical… To me, is worthy and commonsensical! Even in this ode, that’s pathetical!
At this time of web-searching for Nottingham Crimes & News, things seem slow. I apologise for the scarcity of murders, muggings, shoplifting, wife/partner beatings, pickpocketing, and attacks on police officers in this Issue of Inchcocks Local News Snippets. Later I had one more go…
14 months for dangerous driving, 4 months for driving while disqualified, Four months for theft… sentencing softening? Licence endorsed, driving without insurance, denied! 14 months for aggravated vehicle taking… From driving for 33 months, driving disqualified, Alongside 22-month sentencing…
Of which he will serve half in custody? This convoluted sentencing confuses me? Just when will he actually be set free? Was this adjudicator just a big softy?
Mental Health! This shows how complex the job is for professionals to get right – each sufferer, possibly everyone, will have different lapses and ailments, not easy! There were no sarkies on this one after I looked up what the Priory Hospital was all about…
New Covid cases confirmed this last seven days…
For Nottingham and UK, leave me in a haze,
We are over the worst, getting better; an expert says…
Another said Nottingham cases are peaking on Monday!
You just can’t trust what they say nowadays!
Will Mr Wallace get locked away?
The Law is an Ass, just to paraphrase,
In prison now, they can order takeaways!
Mayhaps a Pizza, and hold the mayonnaise?
The police caught him, so they deserve some praise…
I, too, find loud music making neighbours annoying!
While the guests are drug and alcohol refuelling!
Partying, singing, drunk and revelling…
They think their noise is nothing but trifling…
They’ll be too intoxicated for any canoodling,
Then they may start fighting and brawling…
But working neighbours’ patience has a ceiling…
And revenge will have no curtailing!
I hate violence of any kind, especially against someone or thing weaker than the attacker. Whatever this dog did to annoy its owner, what he did is disgusting! The poor frightened thing! I hope the RSPCA can catch and convict the scumbag!
When sentenced, they said his smile was wide!
Well, it’ll be easier for him to get drugs inside…
His time in nick will make life simplified,
No need to go on the run; his worries have died…
Cheap drugs via visitors… sarcasm implied…
They’ll supply free meals, salads, pizzas and fried…
Doctor, dentist, I find to be undignified…
I can’t get my cataracts done outside…
Should I commit a crime and lose my pride?
Then I’ll be able to see things, with my eyes open wide!!!
Ah! Now I’m getting to the nitty-gritty crime!
I read some rubbish from a criminologist,
Who should have been a craniologist…
We should put fewer people away, they insist!
Studying criminals? Pointless, they should desist!
They’d learn more helpful stuff being an acarologist!
Then, have themselves tested by a psychophysiologist!
Can’t find what he was sentenced to, other than breaching a restraining order? I’ll do another search… Nope, can’t find owt? M<maybe he was already in the nick?
White Van man’s excellent Parking!
Within the white lines marking!
No exit-ingress blocking!
No chance of any grid-locking,
Straight as a die, amazing…!
Very RVM (red-van-man) irking!
Blood pressure reading was more controlled, Sys 150, Dia 71… But the pulse at 90, high-fold? I’ll check on the web… NHS say 90 is Gold! So today, BP returns deserve to be extolled!
The body temperature was not so good… 34.4°c, not as high as it should… Little Inchies fungal-lesion is losing blood! But things may get better; yes, they should… But of that, there’s little likelihood!
Blood-Taking Dressing Removed
I thought the drops of blood on the cotton wool had created a humorous face pattern. I took this snap of it. Hehehe! There is rarely any bleeding after the magnificent, caring Nurse Hristina comes to do the blood-taking job, bless her. 💖
This is something that I look forward to!
I’m Beginning to Master the Whistling Kettle!
This morning, I even heard it!
I’ve located the inside of the fill-level marking…
Changing to reading glasses first…
If I use a torch, so I can see the etching…
So underfill it, so I can quench my thirst,
Then it gets louder… the whistling!
Trapping the finger closing the lid is worst!
Tuesday Evenings Meal
A treat of healthy foods tickled many a tastebud!
Fishcakes and cheesy potato cakes went down a treat!
Smoked haddock in some, cheese too, t’was alreet!
Mushy pea topping in the cakes…
Fishless fish-sticks to complete…
But I didn’t have a pud!
The meal I ate and felt replete!
Changing the bag in the kitchen bin,
Gawd strewth… what was I seeing?
Argh! An Evil Ironclad boll weevil biting beetle?
Have they returned again – bringing their teeth so evil?
I went into a Sherlockian mode, sort of preautopsy…
I got the beast out of the bin, then had a wee-wee…
So glad it was all black, due to my achromatopsy,
It was a biting boll weevil – Whoopsiedangleplopski
Seeing just the one, enough to bring on catalepsy!
A good search around, I could see no more – Whoopee!
Evening Sunset Today
The sky went from grey to this colour within a couple of minutes.
But stayed that hue for only ten minutes?
Finally, a further tribute…
Puckin Chairing a Meeting
This photo really scares me! They’re his advisors too!
I was woken with the sounds of Alto blasting in my brain, boy, was he in a pig-of-a-mood! Spurred on by an overnight lack of sleep that had got me in a foul mood, as well! Resolutely, I tried to give him some suitable magniloquence and verbiage back.
Did I succeed? What do you think?
Oy! Dog breath… yer ignorant git…
Erm… er… what?
You’ve not talked to me for days now! Why? Yo losing interest or summat? Can’t argue or question owt? Gerrin’ old? You ought to…
Hang on, hang on… What are you ranting abarght?
You, yer fubuckler, just cause your scared to death, fear of me and I always win the verbalisationing arguments? You’re a lily-livered chicken when it comes to confrontations…
You plastic spastic! You’ve fallen asleep on me?
Alto’s only physical damage he can cause to me came into play. He sent his famously ear-cringing gurgling sound through my head; it is loud, irritating and even painful at times… It worked, and I stirred back into imitation life…
Oh, you gurgling git! Shithead! Can’t you see how tired I am? I got had very little sleep last night…
Good! I’m considering reporting you to the Alto & ID disciplinary committee; falling asleep on an Alto? Anyway, I know you’re knackered and have bad earholes; that’s why I gurgled you! Dumbo!
Oh, dearie me… can’t we have a standard argument without the insults and nastiness? I’m sure other humans who have Altos in attendance are not always getting hassle from them…
Hahaha! No! You don’t understand the intentions of the Alto duties. The opposite of IDs. Being as much bother and bringing as much misery to your allotted human is the basic instructions given to us…
Do you actually know any other Alto’s then?
Yer… we meet up sometimes, usually, when our humans are ill in hospital or summat like that – we ain’t allowed to hassle them then, for some unknown reason…
Ah! So you don’t know it all then? Not so clever after all?
I’m clever enough to know that you have lost interest in your Alto! I must know why…
As I said, you’re not so clever then? It’s simple enough, Alto; I’m so worn out with the physical ailments and no sleep… and admit I had lost interest and was pleased when you gave me a two-day break from your bickering last week…
Rest? You think I wanted you to rest! Oh, no, it was a ploy to regain your awareness of our superiority and dominance; we have to perpetuate and spread the news of our leaders of the significant anthropomorphism, thus confusing our humans even more… diminishing the likes of you, in confidence and…
Hold your horses, you’re not going to confuse me with using big words; I am known as a bit of a sesquipedalian missen... although on this occasion you did beat me… Carry on…
It boils down to me having to keep you on tenterhooks permanently. But if yer going to find wasteful time for sleep, you are not paying me enough attention… now that’s logical innit?
Erm… Do humans need sleep, though? Surely?
Yes, yes, yes… But you are greedy! You’ve had to my knowledge, at least two hours kip last night! Wasteful, mate! You must allow your Alto to address your mind detrimentally at all times…
Oh, great! Nowt to with wot, we were on about, but how do you get nourishment to have survived so long?
You know, like we humans need food and sleep. Don’t Altos then?
Oh, no! We get gratification and nourishment each time we get a human going, excited, angry or sobbing their hearts out. Occasionally we may take a sip of your blood… but that’s just so we can locate you in the rare event of you escaping your Alto… I’ve never lost one in over 2000 years…
Did you ever get a famous human allotted to you then?
Oh, aye! I got a chap called Hitler recently. Easy meat, I had him going mad with two years! I almost got Puking Putin; I was down to get him, but you lived too long, and I missed my chance… not that I hold anything against you for that… you overaged, decrepit, uneducated, unsocial sick-loner, ugly, stupid, little-willied, ass fetus! Still, in the land of the witless, you would be King. You’re a ninnyhammer of the highest order, a git with an iron-cross. And you, a guttersnipe, has the nerve to fall asleep when I’m working? You ought to have your testicles torn-off, hung drawn and quartered. You are not worth…
Boy’s, boys… I can stand by no longer… my sweet Angels… Such hatred and so many insults are being bandied about… Is this right? Great ID leader in the ether! Why so, my dearest children?
Who the hell are you to get involved, ID? It’s me that’s been insulted…
Indeed, what did you, a self-proclaimed Alto of Alto’s do? Gave back insults and put-downs ten-fold, just because an ignorant human misunderstands?
Wot yo gonna do abarght it then Inchies Id? There’s nowt what you can do to change an Alto you know…
Indeed, there are several things I could actually do to create remorsefulness in you both… but that would bring me down to your level Alto and even lower if I was to lambast a pathetic human.
Erm… what er…
You’re right, Inchcock; who do you think you are to tell us what to do?
Undoubtedly, just by your two’s behaviour, I am a better, kinder, more understanding ID than you are Alto or Inchcock. I intend to have words with you to guide you along the path of righteousness, kindness and compassion… I have to teach as a female form of a spectre, gnomai, phantasm, succubae or plain ID, whichever you chose to brand me with! Through psychoanalysis, educate the part of the mind in which innate instinctive impulses and primary processes are manifest, thus releasing stress… Bear with me, pay attention, and a new opening will appear – full of pleasure and indubitably, a solution to your naughty, unnice, unpleasant ways of communicating within the shared human form will be found. And happiness will replace the bitterness and jealousy you have shared since the human was born… Now listen…
Inchies ID launched into a sleep-inducing marathon lecture for the next three hours. After that, I could no longer contact Alto-Inchy, and I fell asleep.
I hope that Alto-Inchie comes back to see me in the morning – blimey I do!
I decided to get some Cheesy Potatoes done for Carer Richard when he comes tonight.
I soon turned into an uglier imitation but albeit me a smaller one, a younger one, less fodder-wise, shorter, and an older one, of Gordon Ramsay. Hehe!
I even donned my Toque. I thought it would be an unexpected treat for Richard, and all my remaining concentration went into getting it prepared properly. I intended to make it the best I could, and luckily Peripheral Neuropathy Pete was helping by not playing up too much. This is good! I thought, so I pressed on conscientiously and even felt a bit proud of my efforts. Smug-Mode-Assumed. I got the last potatoes in the oven, and they were done in no time. I got them out on the chopping board added all the seasonings you can see in the photo above. Then bashed the living daylight out of potato flesh and mature, strong cheddar, adding Squid sauce (liquid salt), BBQ seasoning, spirit vinegar, Worcester sauce and a dirty great-chunk of butter! It took ages to get it all to mix together, I don’t know how long it took me, but I was all weary-armed by the time I got the shells back in the oven to brown off. Haha!
I was feeling even smugger when they came out almost perfect! Well, as I would have liked them too. I was planning on four for Richard, two for me… I ate mine straight away!
The door chime played its Oh, Susanna tune, and I anticipated Richard coming down the hallway, but whoever was buzzing did not come in. I realised why when I got to the door – “I’d left it locked form when I took my shower!” What a plonk!
Opened the door to see Carer Valerie. I’d made yet another cock-up! I thought Richard said he was coming tonight, but Valerie told Richard is coming in the morning. So, I gave Valerie the cheesy potatoes. I packed them in foil and put them in a bag for her, and she seemed to like the look of them, which made me content cause Valerie is a good gal to me. Wished her farewell, and she took the waste bags to the chute with her, for me.
Before I turned off the computer, I had a look at my Google Calendar for the next few days. And son realised I had not put some things down… although I really was confident that I had done? So, I added them!
Checked on my plates and legs; they were a lot better looking than yesterday. As I was just about to start getting smug again…
I felt the wet warm sensation of gushing blood within the protection pants. I hastened to the wet room to find, with maximum embarrassment, it was not blood but urine! The recent bouts of smugness were abandoned and replaced with a dollop of shame and ignominy! Depression threatening!
I started on the Health Checking in a slightly lower state of joy and contentment. The body temperature seemed fair enough. Got everything cleaned and medicated and changed into the night attire.
The sphygmomanometerisationing showed the Blood Pressure was up a smidge, at Sys 148, Dia okay at 68, and the temperature read 86. Nowt much to worry about; I’ve had a lot higher at times.
I was well tired when I got changed and medicated. The eye drops ought really to be called nose or mouth drops, in my case… Humph! Despite Shaking Shaun kicking off, I must have been tired, for I was off to sleep in a flash.
I was soon woken up by Herbert bashing about. At this time of night, it might not be late for some, but it is me, 22:00hrs gone! The ungregarious, unamiable, unloquacious, haughty, pompous, git! Still, he soon stopped. This may have had something to do with hitting the roof with my walking stick…
Which serves me right, cause I stubbed my toe getting back in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner. Tsk!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Thursday 3rd February 2022
I woke up (I do that sometimes you know), and a renewed inspiration took place. I intend to get the cheesy potatoes ready for when Richard calls; he will not be done out of his treat. I laid there and pondered on the logistics of my desire with the cheesy spud making:
I only have a few small potatoes left to use
This will mean I cannot refill the skins for him…
I’ll heat the potatoes, then give them a good mix and bash with the cheese (plenty in the fridge) and seasonings.
Put them in an oven dish.
Timing will be critical, though. Richards ETA, 06:30 to 07:30hrs… Mmm!…
Fingers crossed, I’ll make a start then…
The pots were put in the oven cooking, and I did some blogging. Then got the tubers out and sliced them. I’d got the cheese in the basin all ready with the seasonings already in it. I then took the flesh out to mix in the bowl…
Got the cheesy spuds in the tray and back into the oven. They were soon all looking good and browned off pretty well.
I removed the tray, burning my fingertips as I did so. Then tidied up the appearance, and I wrapped it all in tin foil and awaited Richards arrival.4
I dropped the small husks back in the oven and nibbled them a few minutes later. Nice! I’m afraid I’ve got the taste back for cheesy potatoes. I ordered Iceland to get their baking potatoes and some wine for someone or other. Not saying in case they read this. As I was starting the order, today’s Iceland order arrived.
I’d forgotten I’d already ordered some wine, which was delivered today with the other stuff. I can tell you now, it was for Sister Jane and hubby Pete. I’ll ring them later to say to them they can collect them.
I’m not so sure about the Iceland new Fruit & Salad desserts. In fact, I don’t recall ordering them? But, there you go.
Minutes later, Richard arrived. The lad seemed a little tensed up for some reason to me. He didn’t seem exactly jumping with joy at the meal I’d made for him. But kind enough to take it anyway. Methinks Richard is having some bother of some sort. I hope whatever it is turns out right for him. I hobbled him to the door and wished him well as he departed, taking the waste bags with him. Bless him!
Back to the blogging. Got a call from Sister Jane and told her about the wine awaiting her pleasure. Then the Haematology Nurse, Hristina, arrived. She was in a rush again but chatted while she took the blood. Gave her an Easter egg, but I had to almost force her to take it. Hahaha!
Sudden Dizzy Dennis visit, joined shortly with shaking Shaun. Not too good this.
Mind-Wanderings and pointless Mental Memorabilia
A gal once asked me, I think her name was Gloria? Have you ever experienced utter euphoria? We then got grips and a bit overfamiliar… She asked again; I said no, and we ate a veggie burger.
Christine later said, she thought me peculiar, So I didn’t see her again and chased after Julia… I liked her, although she was older and ganglier, But she didn’t take to me, she was always wiser…
Then a gal who was brawnier, my beloved Grizelda! Encounters of passion, she wore no brassier… Her body was all firm and desirably muscular, While it lasted, I did find utter euphoria… She was visiting the UK, from Mülheim an der Ruhr, Grizelda went home, leaving me feeling sadder!
Then came Fern, for me, she was classier… Sex-mad, but grumpy, niggly and crotcherier… And it has to be said, she was much clumsier, She’d greet me with not a smile, but leer… Proving her to a smidge superior… With pleasurable connections, she couldn’t be freer!
I’m writing this rubbish cause I’m having a Thought Storm, My wording and writings, not precisely in the artform, What can you expect from someone so lowborn? Musical, me? I did try to learn the fluegelhorn… Also the piano, private lessons from a Capricorn… One lesson and he said ‘You shouldn’t bother’: with scorn!
My bank balance is getting nearer to being overdrawn…
So, I’ll not be going holidaying to climb the Matterhorn,
Or my dream, of going on a boat around Cornwalls Zawn,
Hello, I just had an attack from Shaking Shaun,
Better stop now, clear up my on the floor sandwich of brawn!
Future Sports, Covidity, and Politics, unsung,
Including Boris, Cummings, even Cameron,
I threw myself into creating these, then the phone rung…
Told me the Bank is closing its branch… that’ll be fun!
A bill from the Council, Carers Fees, that stung!
Two weeks ago, Meridian arranged a direct debit…
About as reliable as Norman Tebbit!
To make the bestest ever chilli bean con-carne for Josie!
I awoke, full of youthful spring, on a high!
Jumped out of the recliner, nice and spry,
I moved so quickly, my body sinewy…
Then I wondered, why? Why why?
It was cause I was dreaming… So that was a lie!
Woke up proper, and the feet were aglow,
Red they were, great; I sang a divertimento…
No pains or pot-marks on foot or toe…
No bloating at all, although…
I’ll not get excited; I’ll see how it does go!.
The moon still just glowing, up in the sky,
I tried to take a good photo, I did try…
But they didn’t come put well, Sigh!
I was not disappointed enough to cry!
Washed and got on the computer to work,
Got to start this blog; I will not shirk…
Even if I get it wrong, and feel a burke!
But it took me seven hours to do, what a twerk!.
Can you see no lousy parking in the end car park?
First time for over a week now,
Spying on neighbours… innit a lark?
But I enjoy doing it somehow!
Started to prep Josies’ meal, with assiduousness,
How it will come out, tinged with capriciousness,
My determination was keen, even veracious!
I pressed on, for once not losing my focus,
Took my time conscientiously, no rush…
Sister Jane rang me, thus the distractedness,
But lovely to chinwag, even with partial deafness,
Tasted the progressing food with curiousness…
Oh, to my tastebuds, a lovely flavour did gush!.
Gave it some tweaks…
Beef, beans, Tomatoes, peppers, and leeks,
Best I’ve made for weeks…
Added some sliced steaks…
And, no cuts on the knife, for heavens sakes!
Saying that, as one of my renowned mistakes!.
Stabbed missen with the skewer, what a clot!
But it didn’t bleed a lot,
Then burnt my finger, the pan was hot!
Then dropped a shallot…
Also forgot to put in the carrot!
Oh, that was three things on the trot!
Still, I dun well don’t yer think…What?
All ready to dish up anytime now, success!
Oh, I hope it shows taste and deliciousness,
I got it served on the tray with daintiness…
Nothing too much bother for Josie’s,
Determination today was dauntless!
My search for perfection was ceaseless!.
Got it delivered, without any clumsiness,
She liked the look of the food, and thus…
Had a little chat, and Josie took in in a rush!.
I was contented with my actions taken thus,
Onto the computer, and I got an afflatus…
I’ll do the blog before cooking my potatoes,
But there came a sudden hiatus!
Rushed to the Throne, but twas not calamitous,
Twas a long, challenging evacuation, somewhat circuitous,
The crossword book nearby, that was fortuitous,
Pain, messy, the Germoloid was medicamentous,
All done, left feeling I’d done summat momentous…
And found another bill from the dentist had been sent to us!
Just took a tumble going to start my meal prepping.
I got cooking this wrong, no idea why!
I forgot the mushroom, chestnut fungi,
It looked fine. I used the usual formulae,
The meat tasted awfully dry,
Tasteless spuds, my culinary skills died?
Thank heavens Josies tasted good; that, I can verify!
Arrivua… Ariverderc... Arf Weider… Cheers!
Part of the Nottingham Lads True Tales Of True Woe Series