Inchcock Today – Thursday 6th August 2020: This diary contains an Ablutionalisationing Injury Communiqué, Not for those of a nervous disposition!

TFZer Cool-It-Cabin get-together!

Thursday 6th August 2020

Welsh: Dydd Iau 6ed Awst 2020

02:45hrs: I woke up with an astronomical vagueness all around me. It took me a long time to gather my distant, reluctant thoughts into some form of semi-logicality. Suffice to start arranging and forging some kind of recognisable sense out of them! 

The distractedness of last night had not fully cleared away yet. The fuzziness began to clear, and be replaced with the worries, needs, and plan-making for today.

I realised that the new window cleaner was coming today, also that I had planned yesterday to get the kitchen cleared to give him access to the windows, and I had not done so! Fertummelt! This task became my priority.

I struggled out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, rickety recliner, grabbed the stick, caught my balance, and limped to the kitchenette. The most urgent thing was to get the window ledge cleared. Not an easy task, Dizzy Dennis was on the attack! For much of the time, I needed to use the four-pronged metal walking stick, which made progress slow down to a pathetic level. Then, thankfully Dennis calmed down.

I was annoyed with myself when I saw the recycling bottles that I’d forgotten to take down with me yesterday! Clunk-head!

I took a snap of the window afterwards and tried to catch my reflection in the picture. Hehe! The bald head and the bulging flabby stomach tend to stick out a bit. I’ve just noticed when putting the photo in, how much the man breasts tend to protrude, too! Hahaha!

The summoning from the innards for my attentions being suddenly needed at the Porcelain Throne arrived. I wasted no time and beat a path (although a slightly wobbly one) to the wet room. Oh, what an improved, less painful session it was! It still hurt, of course, but compared to the last couple, it was heavenly! Also much quicker and not messy at all! Mind you, it left a pong that was not very pleasant. Ah-well!

Back to the kitchen, and got the Health Checks sorted.

Oh, ‘eck! The SYS had shot up again? The body temperature showed as just, ‘Low’. I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana.

Got the computer on, and had to make a head-top graphic, due to failure to make one yesterday! Humph!

I updated the Wednesday post and sent off the email link. Then made another brew, of Glengettie tea. (a thirst on me this morning!)

I took two shots of the morning view, the first in Aperture Priority, the second in Auto mode. I think the Auto one wins for more accurate colour?

Got caught up with WP comments, and then Facebooking.

I had a look on Amazon to see if they still had the cheaper offer on the Dettol lavender disinfectant. They had, but it said, ‘Only one left in stock, and unsure if any more will be available’. So muggins here, the favourite retailers type of shopper, ordered it. Then had a desperate last search for brown trousers available in my size. And bought some. I noticed an offer on Domestos. And bought some! Is there such a disease or illness called AGI, Amazon-Gullible-Idiot, I wonder?

Had a go at the WordPress Reader, then off to get the ablutions done.

: What a palava! After the two reasonable, indeed, good, last two sessions. It was back to the regular ablutioning experiences, with the Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxparing this morning.

Ablutionalisationing Injury Communique

  • The teeth cleaning set Toothache Thomas on the rampage! Then I stabbed myself in the gum with the toothpick!
  • I broke a razor! (Gawd knows how, but there you are!)
  • Dropped the foam spray, razors (4), and cut me near my earhole shaving. (See below, it was a most artistic of bleeds. Beautiful original job!)
  • Trying to make sure I didn’t stub the toe when moving the shower chair, I banged my poor old, already multiple-bruised right arm again! Gramshackles!
  • I tooketh the shower, and clouted my right arm on the shower box, when I had mini-dizzy, seconds later, I hit my left arm on the grab bar! (Now I was getting so annoyed with myself, and using naughty language!)
  • It had to happen I suppose, with me being so wound-up, I stubbed the toe against the shower seat legs as I moved it back after taking the shower! The language was getting a tad bluer, now!
  • I dried off without any problems. (There, I got something right. Hehehe!)
  • I dropped the Cortisone tube, and during the medicating, Little Inchies fungal lesion began bleeding! Humph! It took a bit of stopping!
  • The rear end furuncle became inflamed at I applied the Germoloid cream to Harold’s Haemorrhoids! I had quite a few tender areas stinging at the same time now! It wasn’t pleasant. Hahaha!
  • Leaving the room, I had a ‘drift-to-the-right’ episode, and clouted my right arm on the doorframe, yet Again!

No doubt about it, I was pleased to get out of there, and for the incidents to be over! Most annoying, especially as the previous couple of ablution efforts, had gone so well!

The right arm has taken a bashing lately. I just don’t seem able to judge distances accurately anymore. Peripheral Neuropathy?

But, I was pleased I’d got a photograph of the artistic bleeding during the shaving nick bother. Do you think I might stand a chance of getting an offer from the Tate Gallery? Hehe! How the blood ran the route it did, I found surprising. Hey-ho!

A mug of tea, and back on the computing. 09:10hrs and no show from the window cleaner yet. Of course, this started me of twittering, fretting and almost convinced I must have got the day or timing wrong. (I’ve no confidence lately either) The chap arrived ten minutes later.

Did a quick,  efficient job, and charged me £15 quid for the windows and sliding balcony. Did a fair good job. Booked me in again for a month’s, September the third at the same time, I think he said.

Herbert above was doing some tap-tapping and knocking again. I wonder if he is making a wardrobe from scratch? As long as he’s happy. Which is saying something for a laconic taciturnist like John (Herbert) is, compared to an argle-bargle, deipnosophist type bloke, like wot I am! Hehehe!

I made up an order for Iceland and then did a search for a word that I cannot remember. It means someone who is not talkative or revealing. I wanted it to put in the paragraph above, but can’t find it. Gribbledukes! I might not, well, I do not know what the word, but feel confident I’ll know it when I see it. Tsk!

I pressed on with this blog, and the door chimes rang out. It was the postman, delivering my last pack of 6 long, lambswool socks (for winter, if I make it) I stupidly ordered from Amazon. They have soft diabetic top grippers. Now I will be alright for socks, anyway. I’ve probably got more than enough pairs to see myself out. So in the event of my croaking out, I’ve put them in the airing cupboard, for anyone who fancies them.

Got the oven on and put the smoked haddock flavoured fishcakes, in. I must remember to add the fries in ten-minutes. Then hopefully, they will both be ready at the same time, but, ‘best laid-plans’ and all that!

I got the latest figures for Covid-19.

Then I tended to the nosh making duties. The sky was looking good, well, I mean the clods. Even if they were a tad on the dark side.

The fatigue arrived, a little late than usual, and I gave up on computerisationing and got the meal prepared.

And what the festival of a feast it was, too! The smoked haddock filled fish cakes were so moreish! The last of the truffle fries were used (Iceland no longer stock them, Boo!). The surimi stick enjoyed, The Piccolo tomatoes excellent, as was the egg mayonnaise! A well-worthy 8.5/10 for flavour-rating!

I got te pots washed, and settled down in the £300, c1968, unkempt, rusty, rickety, not operational, sickenly beige-coloured, uncomfortable, harmful to haemorrhoids, grotty recliner. Turned of the TV, and chose something to watch, and drifted off into the land of bliss within minutes!

I woke in a bit of the panic, the need for the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket) was indeed urgent! The diabetes PMD (Pre-Micturition-Dribble) tinkled away well before I got the bucket! The SSPO (Short-Sharp-Painful-Orange) variety release was soon over, and off I went to the wet room to clean up, disinfect the bucket, and change the PPs. Walking into the doorframe as I went in. This right arm is going to have more bruises than ever! It’s already tender, just putting a coat or jacket on hurts. Hey-ho!

As I got back to the recliner to sit down, the right leg burst forth with an involuntary right leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance, ending up on my bum on the floor, banging the right arm on the way down, and in agony from Harold’s Haemorrhoids, and the leg just kept on kicking out for a minute or so. I stubbed a toe against the metal leg of the swivel chair! 

Not one of my easier Accifauxpas. Claggknackles!

Miraculously, no severe damage, just pain and frustration, oh, and the long-winded challenge of getting my humungously-large flabby-bellied body, up and into the seat!

I was sure the grey-cells would start chewing things over, and Thought Storms would arrive. I was so wrong! No joking… I nodded off, as Sweet Morpheus came, and slept for… wait for it… Seven-hours! Unbroken at that!

Inchcockski – Tue 4th Aug 2020: Ended up with an involuntary Neuropthic leg dance, that had me in a heap on the floor! Tsk!

TFZer, dancing at the Cool-It-Cabin!

Tuesday 4th August 2020

Croatian: Utorak, 4 Kolovoza 2020. Godine

00:05hrs: I made a template for tomorrow, then started this blog off for the day.

The piles were still very tender from the earlier mammoth, excruciating Porcelain Throne visit! That will stay with me until the end of my days! Argh! So bad was their stinging, that I stopped computerisationing, and went and got some Germoloid onto Harold’s Haemorrhoids, gave them another clean-up, and a good creaming. Ahh, that’s a bit better, no, much betterer. Haha! 

I sent the Email link off for yesterday’s post. Then went on the WordPress Reader.

I was making the tea, again, when the OPorcelaio… Porcelain Throne Alarm arrived. (Sorry about that, Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters and Suddering-Shoulder-Shirley clandestinely decided on a sudden joint attack), the innard’s Throne-Alarm arrived. So, off to the wet room.

Trying to find a one-word description of this session was easy today. AGONY! What the hell caused this imitation blackened hazelnuts-like evacuation to give me such pain, I don’t know. But poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids, are in even more discomfort now! It was a slow, no-control-over grind! I just don’t know if taking Macrogol, will help or hinder the situation?

My being a well known, much-mocked and laughed at tergiversator, procrastinator, and a well-intentioned, senility-seeking old fart, but lacking commitment, who over-worries, and at times, is scared to opt for, make a choice or decision, I despair about this! Never used to like it?

Belatedly, I meandered to the kitchen to get the medications and Health-Checks done.

During the ten or fifteen minutes I was in the kitchen, I took some shots of roughly the same view, they made up an interesting little montage, showing how quickly the morning was breaking, really early as well!

I went to the medical cupboard to get the blood pressure machine, and was it there? No!

No panicking, but plenty of confusion milled-about in the brain. I am sure that I put it back in the third drawer down, as I always do, yesterday. I was pretty confident I had, cause I can remember trapping my finger as I pushed the drawer to close it? I even had a look at the finger knuckle, and it was still a little marked?

I ferreted around in cupboards, shelving and the other drawers, but couldn’t find it yet! I took a moment or two and really had a good ponder over what I could remember of the incident. Then stared blankly out of the window, hoping for inspiration in recalling where I should, could, would, ought or might have put it.

I maintained my sanity, just. The EQ was telling me to forget it, “You’re bound to come across it later, there’s no rush, nobody is going to call to see you, you’ve nowt on order to come today, pull yersen together, make a brew and gerron wiv the blogging!” (My EQ and I, both speak with the same Nottingham accent, you know!) But moments later, the niggling botheration departed, as I had to, to the wet-room for another Porcelain Throne session! Argh!

As I hobbled on my way, caught my toes against the four-pronged metal walking stick and I cursed a smidge.  But no time for sulking, the Throne had to be used! At least all the signs told me so, but No!

I got in and on the Throne and minutes later, I reached for the crossword book. My poor confused-more-than-usual brain was still concerned with where I’d left the flipping hemadynamometer, and a grand total of nil, zilch clues were answered! I think the walnut-like lumps of evacuation material, must have gelled in the gut together like cement, for as hard as the innards and I tried there was moving it along! In some discomfort, I gave up and had a clean and freshening session. Hey,-ho! No bleeding though!

As I was leaving the wet room, it dawned on me I may not have turned the taps off properly (♫ It’s not unusual… ♫) and went back in to check them…

Oh dearie me, indeed! There on the shower chair, was the BP machine! Of course, then it all came back to me, Humph! I’d got a tiny cut on the knuckle when I closed the medical drawer, a wee-dram of blood had gone on the camera lens. And got the need for a wee-wee at the same time, and off I went to the wet room, to clean the camera and take a wee-wee. It’s all gin-clear now! I recall it in detail! Plonk-a-Whatta!

I got the ablutions tackled. And compared to yesterday, it was a great deal betterer! The dropsies were a lot worse mind, but no shaving cuts and medicalisationing went just fine.

The photo on the right is a bit of a mystery! It looks to me, like it was taken in the front room or kitchen, not the wet room? (All a part of the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, hallucinations. materialisations, poltergeist, lemures, wairuas, kehuas, manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Lucifer, mission, “We must annoy, scare and piss-off the energumenist Inchcock, at all costs!’ mission?”

Then, off to get the much-belated sphygmomanometerisationing readings were done. The SYS was down ten points the Dia 12 points, and the Pulse down 6 points. 

Great readings this morning. Or is it afternoon now? Hahhaha!

I then got around to drying off, a bit of burlesque ensued, I’m afraid, here. 

I knocked so many items off of the floor cabinet with the first waft of the towel around my back! What a mess I did make! I spent ages getting in back into the same disorder it was all in before my Towel-Attack!

Got the new bigger Enoxaprin 100ml filled hypodermic, and it was soon injected and all done. A longer needle on these ones, but a piece of cake to inject. (That reminds me, I hope Iceland have some more of the apple pies in stock) for Friday, Haha!

I got the kettle on, and realised I’d been drinking tea on and off all morning? Why? ‘No idea!’ Fair enuf!

I got some vegetables prepped and into the crock-pot for later. Red onions, leeks and I can add a tin of peas later. 

Then I remembered I have the mushrooms in the fridge, so went to fetch them to, wash, slice and get them in the pot with the other veggies.

Opened the fridge door, and there the mushrooms weren’t! I had a dig around in the fridge, but nope, they were AWOL? I looked just about everywhere for them, silly places as well, without any luck.  I’ve bamboozled myself now! Twittle-Prone-Pillock!

I took three photographs of the view from the kitchen’s thick-framed, designed by someone who hates old people and photographers. Are impossible to get to for cleaning, without risking life & limb, climbing up the stepladders and down again. That’s obviously, only if you don’t fall off of steps, due to old age, Rheumatoid Arthur Itis, Cramps, Dizzy Dennis, Shuddering Shoulder-Shirley, Diabetes Insipidus, collapsing, Vertigo,  Saccades Sandra, Nicodemus’s neurotransmitter failure, or you get an involuntary Stroke affected right leg’s Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance routine kick-off, and topple you off the ladder, and break your neck..Where was I? Oh, yes, the photos!

I took the first picture in Auto mode, the second in Landscape, the last one was taken using the Aperture Priority setting. Do you think one of them, is better than the other two? Thank you. 

Oh, ‘ecky thump! A triple ailment onslaught nearly had me over! Shaking Shaun, Saccades, and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley amalgamated to put the wind up me! They did a good job, too. This put end to any computerising, and I got the nosh sorted straight away; because I feared a bad spell coming.

The concentration and focus failed, and I had to do my best to concentrate. I got my meal served up alright. But what a mess I was leaving in the kitchen. Got down to eat the repast, no taste rating, because I felt only half-with it. I didn’t eat it all.

I managed to do the pot washing, amidst a messy maze of cooking residues, that my mind didn’t seem to want to know anything about? (I now know I didn’t take any medications).

I can’t even recall getting down in the recliner? But woke up later, with a persistent panicky niggle, that I’d left the tap running? I stupidly got up and went to check, without the stick… the mind full of ackamarackus.

As I was going through the kitchenette door, a sudden short sharp (catching me by surprise) involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance had me over, landing against the counters doors, arm outstretched to ease the inevitable effects of the tumble. (Photoed later)

I remember the fall and collision as my overweight body banged into the cupboard handle and sliding down to make contact with the floor! But nothing else until I woke up to find myself half-in-out of the c1968 recliner?

As endings to a day go, I could have done without this one. Hahaha!