Monday 29th August 2022: Dairy, Cartoon & Ode

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I FEAR THINGS HAVE NOT GONE WELL TODAY

So, this will be a condensed version instead of my usual waffling on. However, you can rest assured there will be the normal errors, grammatical, factual & miss-seen or typed selection of Whoopsiedangleplopping and assorted other cock-ups committed. Likely more of them than average. Thank you.

04:00hrs: I woke, legs looking so foreign to me. what happened? It might have been the fact that I got a decent sleep-in for once, so had the legs up longer?
Got the BP and Blood Pressure taken. Had to take two wee-wees while doing this task? No sooner finished, and it was back to the WC again; the bucket was so full! Cleaned it and put the figures on the NHS site.
Ah, look at that, down in the amber again!
Then back to the wet room to utilise the Porcelain Throne. Trotsky Terence is still in charge. Phoo!
I’m having trouble here reading my own notes, so a guesstimate might have to do. It’s 25 hours after this event that I finally got down to doing this blog. As I said, it’s been a messy day.
Not much went right.
Made an order for Iceland for tomorrow, with J Sainsbury having so many items unavailable… or was it Morrisons? A full paragraph is unreadable here, but something happened; I can tell by my harried handwriting. Ah, well! Next readable bit:
Arrived, Gawd, was he yawning or what? He was doing it while he was talking, and by the time he’d had a few great long ones, I forgot what it was he had started saying to me. Hehehe! He was not in a talkative mood, really, compared to usual. He’d got another extra call to make. Took his bag of treats and the waste to the chute on the way out. Hope he’s in a better state tomorrow. Oh, he did say he’d made a report of the health conditions he’s encountered to the office. Other stuff as well, but I forget now, notes of no use. My fear is being moved into a care home – like the one they sent me to for a month after the stroke. It was hell!

I tried ringing Deana to tell her of the strawberries and plonk having arrived and the new changes to the Diabetes course days. No reply.

The Morrison order arrived.

There was a farce again in the man getting in through the door, he phoned me on the mobile, I don’t think we could hear each other… too long a story for now. It’s getting so late as I write this… I’m tired out and confused again. Nothing new.
I think I made a mistake in ordering from Iceland. Yes?
Put the goods away.
Five minutes into this task, and it was back to the toilet for a wee-wee yet again! Trotsky firmly ruled. Messy!
Plenty of fodder today. They had substituted a veg pie for a beef one; I can give that out later.

The bananas were well over-ripe. And were put in the bottom of a bag to get squashed further.
Inside, the fridge was looking well full. Good job I’ve not ordered much to go in it from Iceland – more luck than judgement.
I took the waste made to the waste chute room. Aware of yesterday’s near suicidal use of the chute, I took my time and received no injuries whatsoever.

I got on the computer and must have spent four hours doing up the old word list for the odes and making more labels to use in this colour. I just couldn’t stop myself! I knew it would mean another late night and loss of sleep, but just carried on!
The Amazon, belated by several days, dried mushrooms arrived. Another cock-up getting the deliveryman into the flats. Too long-winded, I’m trying to save time here and get some sleep.
I opened the large bag of mushrooms and was going to put them in storage containers… I tried one when opening them – they were disgusting! Semi-hard on the outside and wood grain dry on the inside. They really did taste like newspapers! 
I let Amazon know and did a review to let other customers know just what they were like. No bad language, just plain facts. Humph!

I went back to CorelDrawing and was forcing myself to stop the label making – and get some photos on… Huh! The jerking hands came on as I was moving a photo on the screen, a bigger jerk and the screen froze, just the same as yesterday. But this time, after waiting and hoping for far too long that things might right themselves, nothing happened. I could not close anything down other than the internet, which I did. Then had to turn off the computer with the message “CorelDraw is stopping us from closing this computer”

There was an option that said ‘Close Anyway’, which I chose.
I’ve idea if would help, but I closed it down and gave it a rest, and I went to make a brew of Glengettie.
I took this photo. The sky looked as depressing as I felt! My mind was confused, and I felt harassed.
I forgot about making a brew and returned to the computer, almost scared to try it, for fear of CorelDraw of the computer being damaged when I hit whatever I did earlier. I did a little hoovering, checked the letterbox, anything other than start the computer.
The dark clouds had seemingly cleared (but not for long), and I took this snap of the front car parking. A little sparse today?

I tried ringing Deana to tell her of the strawberries and plonk having arrived and the new changes to the Diabetes course days. No reply. Is she busy, ill, or on holiday? Hope she’s alright.

Carer Sam arrived. I was much more responsive tonight. We had a chinwag, and she chose a Gin & Hit for her treat. Taking the bag of waste to the chute for me on her way out.
The night was falling. I did manage to make a brew this time. Haha!
This photo looks like there is a tear in the fabric of the sky.

CARTOON TIME

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Well, it’s so late; better get some food cooking. I lost the photo of the meal and a few more today. Into the ether. This happens a lot with the Lumix… Why?

Yet the next photo, of the ice cream for afters, was on the card?

Dropped of to sleep and got four hours in the land of nod!

Cheers, each!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 11th August 2022. Diary & Odes

I can’t understand why my Odes have not yet made me famous in the rhyme and poet-master circles. All that effort, too!

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0605hrs: I rose with thanks for being allowed to get in five hours of undisturbed time with Sweet Morpheus. Passing wind belched and detached my weight-ladened stomached body from the c198 recliner, and off to the wet room, and the . Where I passed the first half-hour of waking. Trotsky Terence had been beaten into submission by Constipation Konrad.
Oh, the agony! I couldn’t even try to do the crossword this morning. (It can take one’s mind off of the suffering sometimes, but not today). Things eventually started moving… a little, then stopped! I counted the crack in the ceiling plaster… same as last time, 36. Now there’s a thought; How can not remember so many things but am almost certain I could remember a silly, pointless detail like that? Back to the pain coping… I had visions of the bloody mess I was going to find when… or if the evacuation is ever completed.
I started talking to the evacuation product (I know, daft as a brush!). My faith was failing. Then I started wot think of the most ridiculous things, like, why have I never been interested in lepidoptery? Who’d have believed I’d end up with Doreen Dementia? Me! The calm one, the organizer, the carer…
The torpedo started coming out, and it was beyond my powers to slow or stop[ it. The pain grew worse and fortuitously. so did the escapage rate, and the last three-quarters of the turd almost flew out with a sickening thud as it landed, blocking the porcelain! 
Ah, blessed relief! I thought it would never free itself. Now to check on any damage done in the procedure!
. After all, that grinding pain and the gigantic, gargantuan torpedo having been slowly, oh so slowly, forced through and out, Harold’s Haemorrhoids had barely been bleeding! A few thin streaks of the old haemoglobin on the toilet paper, that was all. There was even little stinging pain, either! How come? All a part of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! I suppose!

I got the take, with confidence from somewhere, that the results would not be anywhere as near as scary as yesterday mornings. I just knew not to worry. My EQ, telling me?)
Fair enough, it was still high, but if I remember rightly, it was 36 points less than Tuesdays was.
The body temperature once again was as near to spot on that you wouldn’t notice the difference!

I lost a couple of hours of the morning altogether. I had been doing something as I found later I’d written things on the remember-pad, but it’s in double-Dutch! And the kettle was hot when I went in the kitchen, but I’d not made any tea? Thankfully, these Mind-Blanks don’t happen very often. But they do concern me and are on the list to ask the Doctor about. But can I get someone to call the surgery for me? No! The trouble is, I forget all about it minutes later, until the next instance.

Arrived in a bit of a rush, but he never rushes me, bless him. But it meant quick talking and my missing some comments. But the lad had had a word with Deana about the paperwork he took with him to study and left it with Deana. No point in me keeping it; I can’t read it. He said that Deana will try to call on me later. This is out of sequence, as many other comments will be, no doubt/ I got very Confusion Konrad this afternoon and evening. Deana called later to confirm the booking for the lift with Easy Link. 10:30hr pick-up, to be outside to be collected. Later on, a nice-sounding lady land-lined me to confirm as well. That was nice! ♥

The steam-train building Herbert from the flat above was in fine form all day. No long periods of disruption, I must say. Just the regular clumps and banging, metallic sounds intermingled with some mini-concertos of a tap-tapping nature. Oh, and a cappella: Without orchestral accompaniment.

I just came across this writing on the notepad from hours ago. Any help would be appreciated as to what the heck it was I was recording; thank you. The dashes are undecipherable words: “Delug— 90% temp —– — —- — hoen –stly, —- forced sa–ey. Temp—— 94!” I may find time to have another go at making something out of it. Tsk!

  Now, for the cock-up of the day! If they gave out medals for Mind-Blanks, Forgetting and Insanity, I’d be in line for a gold medal after this incident.
The intercom rang forth: Someone telling me that they had a delivery for me.
❶ But the release button, yet again, did not work to admit the chap. I tried a few times, then said I’ll come down to you.
I had to get some trousers and shoes on, checked the intercom and could see the man still there, and rushed a little too much, and clouted Shuddering-Should-Shirley on the door frame! Agony again!
❸ Got down to the foyer, but no signs of anyone there.
❹ I assumed he had gotten on while I was faffing about to get down to him… Rushing again, I got the walking stick entangled in the lift elevator door. I now have a split-handled wooden walking stick.
❺ Got up to find the man looking around and bags near the flat door.
The man departed, and I started to get the bags into the kitchen. Then it dawned on me when I saw the Co-op label on some foods – I don’t recall making a Co-op order at all. I’ve just had a Morrison one yesterday. And, a few days before that, an Iceland one? Mayhap I did this during my Mind Blank hours?
Well, it had all the things that I might have ordered on the order. I must have made it, stupidly, cause there was not a thing I didn’t already have in stock on this delivery!
I’d even bought some bonkers-costly Mushroom Risotto.
More flipping chips and potatoes, too! I’d even got some more bottles of spring and tonic water!

Just as I was calming down after giving myself a verbal blasting for being so stupid… the intercom burst into like again.
It was another delivery, Amazon. And the Doctor thinks I do not have Dementia ‘properly’? I hope she gets it right when I snuff it, and she has to decide if I’m properly dead or not! Hehehe!
Depression came over me.
The chap had delivered the Lemon Sherbets disinfectants.
No problem with this one. I remember ordering these. I think! No, I did, definitely. Positively. Oh, dearie me!.

The temperature outside reached 92°f.
I gathered together all of the paperwork and reminder notes and what leaflets and letters had come in over the last few days, with the intention of perusing them to see which needed any assistance to read and understand.
.Which didn’t take me long to work out. Cause Cataract Cathy and Dementia Doreen made sure all of them needed some help. Some needed telephone calls; well, Deafness Duncan takes care of that.

Kicked off again. Tap-tapping, morse-code like this time. The stuck-up, toffee-nosed, self-important gentleman varied it for a minute or two; he decorated the tune with some clung-thuds. Kind of him. Ah, tap-tapping is back now.

Getting late now. Aha, ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ just sounded. It was evening who’d arrived. He seemed a smidgeon low to me. I might be wrong. I tried the jokes, my world-famous and light-hearted approach, but I couldn’t get a smile. So I offered the lad a bottle of shandy from the fridge. I had to make do with a half-hearted imitation smile. But that’ll do for me, I thang-you!

I’d like to know what’s making those noises above. They almost sound like he’s sat up there with a stick to keep tapping on the floor? I hope he’s not poorly.

Better get the ablutions done. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I fear leaving it until morning again, with the transport also coming as mercifully, the top man, Nathanial, has told me he will stay behind to talk me through what I missed on the first course. Jolly decent of him, too!
State of the feet before getting the ablutions done here on the left. Off belatedly, to the wet room.
Three days of growth of the beard took some shifting. Only a few nicks. The teeth were painful to clean. Showering went okay, no knocks, falls, or Dizzy Dennis visits. Many many dropsies, mind you. Turned off the shower and dried off.
Yes, well… all were hurtful, to say the least. Germolene, Germoloid, and the worst of the lot… Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating! Arthur Itis and Cartilage Kathy were treated to some Phorpain rub.

I took an after-shower shot (Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehehe!) of the pins and plates.
Looking like they had been polished with Brasso or something of that ilk. Haha!

I settled in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously, grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable of, not working, recliner. Put on a Dr Who DVD and was soon sleeping away like a baby – I wee’d myself overnight!

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Inchcock Today: Another grinding one!

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I rejoined this cruel, scary, obnoxious world again at 06:10hrs. Most reluctantly, I have to admit. As I slowly worked out that I’d managed to get four hours kip in… the Thoughts Storms began to rage! Within minutes, the traditional wee-wee was wanted.

As I was freeing my elephantine body from the sweet clutches of the recliner, the acid, metal taste came up from the innards and nose? Accompanied by some nasty Dennis dizzy-bouts. I’ve been having sessions like this occasionally over the last few days. Mostly not long after waking up. More mysteries of Woodthorpe Court’s sinister Spirit’s master plan. To raise the devil, spread wonders, blunders, rodomontades, fears and descenders from the comfort of sanity into a gibbering wreck! As soon as I get help to ring the surgery, I’ll ask for a face-to-face with the doctor. Cause these do worry me a smidgeon. This one, like all those before, had cleared within ten minutes or so?

The head and throat cleared, I made for the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), Passed a few dribbles of wee, then had to wait for ages again, with a lot of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling) Been regular this late dribbling for a few days now. What’s going on here? Tsk!

I went to start the sphygmomanometerisationing, and I realised how painful the feet were to hobble on. I took this photo of them,
They didn’t look too bad to me. Another puzzle! Haha!
The Blood Pressure figures were a bit higher this morning. But no complaints; they have been great for about a week; some days, they’ve been spot on target.
I put the numbers in the DVT sites calculator to see what would come up this time.

Whoo-Whoo! Betterer than yesterday; and only just edging into the red area.
Pleased that something was going right. I got the waste bags made up and off to the front door, unlocking it as I did. Hobbled back to the kitchenette to get the kettle on, and ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chimed out.

ARRIVED: I greeted the lad with as much enthusiasm as could; he seemed a little perkier today, I’m glad to say. He got the dosages sorted out and given, then checked on the stock in the medical drawer in the kitchen. Richard reminded me about the Diabetes session on Friday; bless him. No messing about today; he was off in a flash. Gave him his bottle and can from the fridge and the nibbles (Brussels pate with caramelised onion) in a bag as he departed. I hope he can get some sleep in today. He should be back tomorrow.

My supercilious, egotistic, standoffish friend from the flat above kicked of with his do-it-yourself concert. Drilling, humming, banging and clanging.

The beautiful. kind, empathetic haematology nurse arrived.
By gum, she does my heart some good, just to see her 💙. As she came in, Herbert, who must have heard the loud door-chime, ceased his noise. The gal soon got my blood taken and gave me a few minutes chinwags as she cleared her things back into the bag. I mentioned the low DIA in the Blood Pressure yesterday. In hopes that she might mention it to someone who cares enough to contact me about it. Tsk! What am I saying? Fool!

A minute after Hristina had left, Herbert was off a gain. All drilling this time, but not for long, bless him.

I got the two blogs, the Sunday Diary and Local News Snippets, finished and posted off to WP. It’s getting on for midday, and I’d not even started on this one yet! So, I went on CorelDraw to do the page top, header and Ode block… That was the plan, anyway!

and CorelDraw did worse than yesterday! Shit! It won’t let me use the keyboard for any actions. Which, of course, makes the job so much more efficient and saves time. actions. I was sinking into a Dracula Depression and felt sorry for myself… But I pulled myself together and spent four hours trying to find a way of sorting out the problem… of course. I had no idea what it was I was doing wrong in the first place.

The evening carer could be coming shortly, and I’ve not got much done at all. Without CorelDraw, I can’t get the job done. Grrr! I’d done this earlier, twice, but tried a third time!  I closed everything down slowly, turned off the computer, and decided to leave it for half an hour, at least, then try again… hopes were not good. If I have to try to reinstall the ‘programme’… well, I can’t anyway, no passwords now, it’s been years since… of shut-up Inchcock! 

Go and make a brew… that tells you how busy I’ve been, for 9 hours of getting nothing done, and this will be only my second mug of tea of the day!

Boy, did I give myself a superior toe-stubbing? Yes. I did! Agony! The right foot has come up all red and bloated… fed-up is far too calm a word to use. I can hardly walk at the moment. Humph!

It must have been an hour after going to make a brew, which I didn’t do! I got Germolene on the foot; with the aid of the picker-upper stick. Then took an extra Codeine 30g. Thought I’d have a guzzle of Peptac.

Back to the computer… nervously and prepared for heart attack, stroke or Ann Gyna seeing me off, as I find that CorelDraw is not going to have it. I started the computer up, and it was with a sinking heart. I turned it on and pressed the CorelDraw button…

It told me that another saved file has been found, ‘Do you want to open it?’ So, after a few seconds of musing, I decided I’d better, cause this just might cure the problem… y hopes foolishy increased, and I did!
Yesterday’s blog came up??? Now I was mega-confused! I did a search for today’s blog because it wasn’t in the file I usually keep it in. Baffling, innit?

As I was searching, I realised that it wasn’t yesterday’s blog… well, it was… I’m losing it here… but I keep a page for each day of the week, and for some reason or other, CorelDraw always opens on different days showing. So, I went back to the ‘Found File and opened it again. Yep, it was the right file. At this point, there was much swearing, self-hatred and belittling, and Anne Gyna kicked off worse than she had done for years! It was so bad and painful that I took an extra (Bete-Blocker) too.

Just got the results from the DVT Warfarin blood test this morning.
A little high this time, but nowt to fret about. ,
They have lowered the does over the week,
Which brought back memories of Hristina, the patient, caring Angel-Nurse, which cheered me up a good bit. ♥
Bless her cotton socks!
I ordered some of my total favourites, Ben’s BBQ sauce and cashew nuts, from Amazon. And added some Jacobs Mini Cheddars (Leicester Chees flavour) to the Iceland order.

Took a photo from the kitchen window of the puffer clouds. Oh, how I love to just watch them. I can’t help it. I even did a spot of paranoliaring. Yes, I’ve fallen foul of the phenomenon of pareidolia. Found a few as well!

Great Balls of Fire! Look at the time!, the carer will be here… Hello… Cheeky Charlie has arrived. She came into the room to tell me that she had turned of the tap that I left running in the kitchen! She didn’t like the look of me tonight and inquired if I was alright. After listening to my tale of Woe with the innards trying to come up with the metallic taste in the throat and mouth, Charlie told me to ask the Monday Carer to phone the doctor to make an appointment, reminding me that I didn’t look too good. Hehe! Bless her!

I got on with updating this blog. I might get it done before November. I’m not making any promises, though, Hahaha!
Got some chips and a veggie burger in the oven and went back to blogging. I must be feeling better, to want something to eat, don’t you thinketh?

Hopefully, the late sunsetting might come out as the chips are being out of the oven. I’ll have to finish this in the morning. The eyes are tired now.

Nosh-Time: A day out-of-date fresh cut chips (fries). Some new potatoes with basil. (I saved some for Richard in the morning in the fridge), hope that he likes them; they are rather good.
A veggie-burger. (Sadly, I can longer get any No-Bull ones [Iceland stopped stocking them], but these are okay, just not as good tasting – Sob!) 

I got on with creating another masterpiece of an ode…

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Keep Safe, Folks!

Inchcock: Friday 5th Aug 22 – Diary & Odes

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Inchcock’s Waffling No: 23⅒th
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06:50hrs. What a sleep that was at last. Ready for this… Six-Hours! Grrreat! The ankle ulcer had come up overnight and was tingling & stinging a bit. The right foot and leg were more swollen and colourful as well. So, I took this snapshot. I just can’t understand why the Tate Gallery has not noticed the state of my legs and bought my photos.
After six uninterrupted hours of gorgeous sleep, I was not surprised that the wee-wees started flowing and regularly. Each session was followed by after-micturitional leaking. Bit of a nuisance having to wait so long and make sure any extra squirts or leaks had all finished. Still, that’s a fact of life nowadays.

I went into sphygmomanometerisationing mode and got the Health Checks done.

The BP had gone up a smidgeon, but nothing too risky. God results still.
Barely into the red zone, yet again. I don’t know why it has been so good this past month, but I adopted a well-deserved one. How long can this go on? It seems to have settled so well. Fingers crossed that it continues.
I started to do the layout for this template and got a whiff of my B,O., so I decided that as soon the morning Carer has been, I’ll get the ablutioning done. Seconds later, ♫ Oh. Susana ♫ sounded from the door chime.

Came in and got my medications sorted out. Val’s weekly treat of Strawberries had arrived, and I issued them in thanks to Valerie, and off she went – forgetting for the first time ever to take the waste bags with her. I was rushing her a bit so I could get the ablutioning done, though, so, not her fault.

I went into the wet room to clean up my massively overweight bobby body and assorted knick-knacks. But found that the job of cleaning up the wet room floor I did yesterday, I think it was, was of inferior quality. The floor had bits on it, black, that stuck like glue to the surface. Where they came from puzzled me. (As a lot of things tend to do nowadays, Hehe!)  I just about crippled myself getting down and up again so often, after each time, and found I’d missed some. to blame, mayhaps?
By the time I got around to doing any ablutioning, I was well worn out and had some new aches. Hehe! As I started with the teeth cleaning, I had to double check that the scrubbing brush, bleach, mop, and bucket had not been left in my own way in the shower area. So glad I checked, for the bleach was under the shower, and going in there without any glasses on, I might have avoided an !
At long last, a weary and battered Inchy got on with the job in hand. Teggies have already been done, and I got on with the shaving. And only had two tiny nicks in the process. However, I did manage to break one of the new razors, and not a cheap Bic; Oh no! One of the four-bladed ones! How is it a mystery? I don’t think I could break one if I tried to.
The showering went well, apart from clouting my shoulder against the towel rail and starting Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley off. The lower regions, front and rear, were then medicated. The ear holes were olive-oiled. The eye drops were dropped in; well, most of them ended up on the cheek and then ran down into the moustache, turning it into a temporary brown from grey. Little Inchies fungal lesion is the most painful ailment to treat (As usual). Deodorised, dressed, and off to make a brew of Glengettie tea. Noticed the beautiful puffer clouds in view in the sky again. I do love so to see these up there. I tried a bit of pareidoliaing and found two figures in this photograph on the left.

I got some potatoes out, sorted them and got the good ones in the saucepan on a low heat setting. Then realised I had the fresh chips in the fridge with a short use-by-date that needed consuming. Then the dithering started. Shall I have the potatoes and end up wasting the ready-made chips?
I sort of left any decision in the air. I’m good at that, being indecisive, you know? I went to check on the other dates in the fridge but could only manage to decipher a couple of them. Carer Richard was in such a rush yesterday that he forgot to investigate for me. And of course, I forgot to ask him to. Hey-Ho! The lad was worn-out and tired, bless him. I hope he can get a good rest during his break. and does not get called in. He’s due a bit of good luck, and I hope Sweet Morpheus can supply it for the lad.

Later, I felt the stinging from the ankle ulcer and looked at the ankle and legs again. See what’s what with it. It (the ankle ulcer) now looked so much calmer. And yet it was stinging more than before when it was all swollen and glowing?
Beats me. Then again, most things do nowadays.
Back onto CorelDraw to make another Ode that had come into my distorted mind.

Here it is; sorry!

Waffling Ode Number 19⅑th

Cloud Photo of the Year!

Absolutely bootiful!

The Morrison order for Tuesday; that I started yesterday and gave up on when it needed verification and Code numbers from an outside source to log on was annoying. Well, believe it or not, I got a code to use this morning, by text, from the bank??? I used the number and finished the order that was still on site. Two things worry me…❶ I clicked buy now, and another email, confirmation from Morrison’s, told me I had ordered it for next Sunday, not Tuesday. ❷ Have I been hacked, scammed, fiddled, or not? Worried now!

Pressed on with this Ode, I knew I’d get around to it eventually, but not as late as this. Gone eleven o’clock!

03:00hrs: Decided to get something to eat; the blog will have to wait.

Ah, the mushroom pate is not as good as the Sainsbury one, but very lovely. Fresh ready-prepared oven chips, last of bullet-hard beetroot, and tomatoes. Wholemeal cobs, BBQ dip, and for afters: An orange jelly, with squirty low-fat imitation, pretend cream sprayed all over it. Flavour rating; 6.9/10, the chips (fries) let it down.

Got the pot’s washed, and I settled to watch an episode of Kitchen Nightmares. Fell asleep, and the landline burst forth, waking me crudely! I bungled my way out of the c1968 recliner to get to the phone before it stopped; “Hello?” – “Mr Chambers, Gerald?” “Yes, is that Hristina?” And it was my beautiful, beloved Haematology Nurse. I think she said she would be coming to take the blood sample on Monday. She had a clear voice on the phone and seemed impressed that I recognised her voice. A picture of her came into my mind… that’s why I’m not sure if it was Monday or Tuesday she would be calling. I tend to get excited when she calls me.

I resettled in the c1963 recliner, and I started to watch the TV, but I drifted off into a much-needed sleep… Not for long!
♫ Oh, Susana ♫… Joseph, the evening carer, woke me up. His shaky-right leg was going like the clappers tonight when he sat down. Got the medications sorted and gave him his choice of the thank-you treats. (Woo-Woo, I think?) Saw him off and locked the front door.

Got down in the recliner once again, determined to get some sleep… But No! As I was drifting off, I felt the dreaded wet warm sensation in the PPs (Protection Pants). I was certain that I’d had a leak. So, up yet again, and to the wet room to wash and get new PPs on. , It was worse,
So cleaning up and medicationalisationing was needed.

I noticed the glow from the late sun setting and just had to take a photo of it. A misty, unclear, but mood-prompting shot, so I thought.
The body was tired, the mind ready to be switched off, I got down in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, rusty, wobbly-recliner for the umpteenth time.

Up now this Friday, I must have dropped off to sleep, on the insistence of my body & brain, so many times. And every time, someone or thing woke me up. I think this must have confused my already unreliable brain. Cause when I got down in the recliner this time, in search of Sweet Morpheus, it refused to let me drift off! It was hours (and oh, so many wee-wees before I finally got off!

Fed Up? Me? Yes! Hehehe!

Inchcock Today: Diary & Odeing

Inchcock would like to start this blog with one of his more heartwarming efforts, Ode-wise. Sentimental, uplifting, exhilarating style of Odeing. It’s part of his self-declared “I’m fed up with hearing myself moan” policy. Thank you!

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Wednesday 3rd August 2020

I spent five hours head down in the recliner last night. If I got about three hours of sleep, I was lucky. One of the worst “Shoot awake & nod-off again” nights ever. At 07:45hrs, A real shaking of a wakeup, with the need for a wee-wee, forced me to scramble free of the c1966 recliner and over to the overnight bucket. I failed to get Little Inchie out in time! Gragnangles! Off to the wet room. I was in a bit of a state, so decided to get another stand-up wash and a change of PP’s naturally. I gave the shower a go, just to see if might work, but there was no noise from the drain-forcer, and the red light came on, so I quickly turned it off at the power again. A got a stand-up washing of the affected areas. New pants on, and back out to the kitchenette to get the kettle on.

Carried out. With another set of fantastic results to savour.

SYS a phenomenal 126!
DIA at 69

Pulse 82
Body temperature 33°f

Couldn’t ask for a better set of figures. Why, I’m down to near normal and in the green, to boot!
07:45hrs: Richard arrived, and he seemed in a slightly perkier mood today at first. But when he sat down, the yawning began again. After interrogating him, Hehehe! I discovered he’s had a bad night again.

He showed me the monitor the Diabetes clinic had fitted on his arm. He scans it twice a day, and the results go straight through to the hospital. True monitoring and a very natty system. Glad he’s got it, so a professional eye can keep tabs on his sugar level.

Not much time for nattering this morning, although he didn’t rush me at all. His body language and my EQ told me he wanted to get away early, and that’s fair enough for me. Hobbled him to the door, where he picked up the waste bags. Made sure that he’d got the bag of treats and wished him some sleep as we parted.

I spent hours on getting this blog template started, but it was hard work; the eyes are not so good, and it was a medley of mistakes, errors, correcting, and then finding the corrections were wrong as well! Time flew by, and I had so many breaks for wee-wees that I thought they would never stop! They didn’t, but did slow down a little after 14:00hrs!

My toffee-nosed, self-important, nyaff, noisy neighbour above kicked off with venom. And continued on and off, firth next five hours. Still, it’s nice to know he’s still alive.

The rumbling innards suddenly got more volatile, with involuntary emissions of wind from the hind quarters. And off on a hobble to the Porcelain Throne. One of the oddest visits in a long time. I got sat down on the Throne, and much wind escaped, but nothing else. I waited patiently, having a go at the crossword; for some reason, I could read the clues with less difficulty than usual. There’ll be a reason for that. If you find it, can you let me know, please?
Anyway, I gave up. got the pants and trews back on and was opening the wet room door, and winds started coming again, accompanied by the rumbling and grumbling innards. Back onto the Throne… for a repeat performance. seems likely that Constipation Konrad is in charge of the bowels, then? Another surrender, with that feeling that something has to, or will erupt at any time now. Most uncomfortable!

As I got into the hallway, with perfect timing, I was only two feet away from the panel: and the intercom rang forth! Yes, YES, it was the plumber arriving to investigate the shower!!!

He was a nice, patient chap. Listened s I explained at I was doing when the alarm went off, and he investigated for me. Five minutes later, he’s got the shower working again. And took the time to tell what had gone wrong with it. A filter had been blocked, and he’s changed it, well cleaned it up, good as new. Explained to me that if a lot of people use the showers at the same time, especially in the higher flats, sometimes the pressure changes. If this happens again, turn it off, and try again in a few minutes. I thanked him and insisted he take a cold drink from the fridge in thanks. Grrreat!

Put some potato cubes in the oven and made an order for Morrisons via Amazon for tomorrow morning. Then got the potatoes in the oven. I’m just having the spuds with some of Jenny’s donated tomatoes, I think. After eating this, maybe I can get some catching-up sleep. But, will I be able to?

MEMORY BLANKS:
Found this photo in the morning. Not the foggiest memory of making it or eating it… But when I saw this, a taste of the veggie burgers came into my mouth.
I think I liked it. Haha!.

Memory regained: When woke me up when she arrived. Obviously, I must have fallen asleep. I was so drowsy after she stirred me that maybe I’d just got off to sleep? It took me awhile to get things together? I remember getting her a cold drink from the fridge and Valerie leaving, then it was head down again… That was it until 00:20hrs when I woke in need of a wee-wee…

A most peculiar evening.

Inchcock Today 28th July 2022

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06:00hrs: I roused from my slumber and felt full of life and ready to get upped and at ’em… Thankful to find I was still alive. Blessed the Lord, praised my good fortune, I thanked the Heavens for another day of joy and merriment. And admired the state of my muscular six-pack stomach… Of course, t’was all a figment of my half-asleep, depressed, tortured, nervously agitated, dominated, feeble, and confused mind.

Truth? I felt horrible! Physically, things were not too bad at all! But only mentally.
Fair enough, I’d done something to the right hand’s middle finger, at the bottom of the nail. The tiniest bit of something sticking up, and each time I caught it on something, it stung like hell. Finger beginning to swell and redden? No idea what had caused it.
The ulcer is forever glowing and growing one day, then sinking and hiding the next? But the Doctor said she’s not bothered about this, so it will be alright. She was concerned with the fluid retention and swelling and took the time to talk to me in great depth to explain the malady and how and what to do… She said (To Meridian’s Natalie on the phone): ‘Tell him to put his feet up.’ Nothing like a caring Doctor, I imagine. But how would I know?
Commenced. The body temperature was once again almost perfect, close to the said optimum of 35°f, with 34.6°f. Perfick!
Sphygmomanometerisationing session next. These returns were far better than yesterday’s were. SYS down to 134, DIA 63, and the Pulse down to 79 bpm. This looked good to me. I got the computer and put the figures into the NHS DVT site to see what they make of it. I got a details list; come back this time. The Blood Pressure was pleasing, especially with it going up yesterday. I’m out of the red zone again! Very satisfied with being n the pre-high area. I’ve not done that very often… well, in the last month, I have a few times.

Carer Richard arrived, looking a little more sprightly and not yawning. I was going to ask him if he’d got a decent sleep in at last, but he volunteered that he has four days off now and will see me next Monday. He needed a break. I bet someone doesn’t come in, and they call on Richard again. Poor lad! He checked the medical drawer to ensure sufficient medications were available until Monday. He noticed I winced when I was getting his treats out; when I caught whatever it was, thingamabob, whatnot, near the nail. Told me to level the bit sticking up and put a plaster on it. So, I did! Feeling an idiot for thinking of doing that myself! Haha! We had a natter after Richard had done the medicationings. Taking my waste bags with him on the way out to the rubbish chute for me.

I got the kettle on, and as I did, it was as if someone had turned the light off… The sky went ominously dark very quickly. I got the Canon camera and took this photo. I was expecting a downpour any moment, but no! Within a few minutes, the light had returned. Dr Who would have known what was going on? But not me. Hahaha!
I noticed the usually plus green meadow at the bottom of the tree copse was looking a little weather-worn. But not around the edges, but only in the centre? A dog-walker was picking her little white dog’s poo and putting it into a bag for the poo box. This got me thinking of my younger days living in the Meadows. If memory serves me right, and my long-term memory usually does, the short-term usually affects me. I can recollect that there was an abundance of dog droppings on my paper rounds, and I reckon 74% of it was white or grey. Even some of the cats’ evacuations were! No one ever thought of collecting the turds back then, of course. They’d get dried and then used as kickabouts by the local kids.
I’m assuming the whiteness was due to malnutrition of some sort? Looking back a the food given to some dogs makes me shudder. A lot of dogs ate with the family. Whatever they ate, the dogs did. Then along came the new Lassie and Chappie canned dog food. 3d a can! This equates to about… let’s see, there were 240ds to a pound, so if divide 240 by three, excuse me while I use the calculator… that would buy 80 cans for a quid! Those were the days! Today one tin of Chappie cost £1.30; what percentage rise in price is that?

But the dogs on our terrace did not take to Lassie or Chappie. Apart from Mr & Mrs Wright’s Rover. I knew that Mrs Dukes Sammy, Mr Marsinacks dog (I can’t remember his name), and the barber, Mr Barker’s three dogs, Lilli, Brutus and Chelsea, hated them. Not so bad for those three. The owner could afford fresh or canned meat for them. Other dogs continued to pass the white lumps, most of them going from bin to bin in search of fodder. Still, no one complained about the dog mess… I think we thought it would just evaporate. Ha, Ha!

I spent hours and hours doing this blog. No one called, no hassle… apart from the odd overture of noises from the antisocial, smarmy Herbert in the flat above But, not a lot today… up till now, anyway.

I’ve run out of bread; I do have some part-baked cobs to use, though. I made an order from Iceland for next week and ordered a few loaves; there should be room in the freezer for the bread by then.

Getting late already. I got the meal sorted. I worked things out oven-cooking-wise (Huh!); The veggie burgers needed 30 minutes cooking, the potato Rosti’s 20, so I planned to put the burgers in for 10-minutes, then add the rosti. And what a danged mess I made in doing so.

Muggins here did it the opposite way around! Realised five minutes later that and removed the rostis, burning my wrist as I took them out, and dropped one on the floor.

Reconstituted and shaped it, burning my finger,  and got the burgers in and cooking.

Dropped the plate as I was putting the peas onto it.

Forgot to add the rostis after 10 minutes!

By then, I was pretty self-critical, and at that time. Herbert kicked off with a tap-tap-crunch routine.

I’m sure what I did then, I was pretty stressed and miffed. Somehow, I got the mess sorted in a fashion. And got sat in the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working, recliner, and ate the meal from a tray, balancing precariously on the folds of fat on the stomach. While eating it, I kept getting twinges of guilt for leaving the kitchen sink with food-burnt-on oven trays soaking. Still, despite it all, I ate all of the fodder and scored it an 8/10 for taste.

Put the plate to one side and drifted into a deep, almost heavenly dream-filled sleep. I’ve no idea what I was dreaming of, just knew it must have been something pleasant… For the Evening-Carer had arrived and stood over me, looming and speaking… I thought at first that this must be a part of the dream. My mind was all over the place. The gal had not rung the ♫Oh Susana♫ door chime and came in without me knowing. Good job that I wasn’t changing PPs or wee-weeing in the bucket! I was a little out-of-it, slow, mentally, having just been woken up, so things were foggy about the visit. Got the meds sorted, and I think we had a little natter about something. I walked to the door with her to lock it. Thanked her and offered a treat, unaccepted or wanted on this occasion. Wished the gal all the bestest, and I hastened back for a wee-wee. Not had one for a while.

No shaving cuts… because for some reason, I forgot to shave? The feet looked a little colourful, but I’d not long been out of the shower, so that would have some bearing on their condition, I reckon. Back on the computer, after failing to nod back to sleep. Another ruined night’s sleep. And I’m paying to be woken up to be given my medications! Hahaha!

I found a lost photo of the front car park from this morning.
The vehicles are parked rather decoratively, don’t you think? A colourful selection on view.
Guilt reminded me that the kitchen had not been cleaned yet. So I cleaned it, then got back to the comp[uter to update this blog to here.

Then I went into ponderisationalistical-mode on what today’s Ode should appertain to… Well, I sat here waiting for inspiration. Listening to the dreaded World-Wide-Hum getting louder and louder, or seemingly so!
An hour later, I am still awaiting some afflatus or eureka-moment to inspire the Ode into logicality… no, no, that won’t work. Best do the normal then, type away and hope for the best, no doubt struggling for words, what they mean, how to spell them, miss-typing and spelling, confusion, inanity… the usual stuff then. Sorry about that.

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All the bestest!

Wednesday 27th July 2020

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WEDNESDAY 27th JULY 2022

At around 02:00hrs, I woke for the first time. In need of a wee-wee and got to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in plenty of time for a change. But it must have been several minutes that I stood there waiting for the PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling) to complete its dribbling mission.
Back to the recliner, and I tried to reattain some sleep. Which, in a way, I repeatedly did. But it seemed like every five minutes, I was back to springing awake with a jump or jerk. Haha! The jerk is likely me.
During one of the sojourns to the grey plastic bucket, I realised how easier the ankle and foot felt. Several more wee-wees were needed, thankfully without the PMAD. So got the cannon, turned on the flash, and took a photo. That ointmentating last night has done me a lot of good!
I gave up on getting more sleep, and I got up around 06:00hrs and got the medical box out. Started. I got the readings and tool the usual photographicalisations of them, but they were not to be found on the camera card later? Nor last night’s nosh, either? A good job I wrote down the numbers; sometimes I don’t, just use the photo I’d taken. Input the results as above right. The BP was up a fair bit, the pulse a smidgeon, and the body temperature once again OK! Made the graph and waddled off into the kitchenette to get the first brew of the day going. I opted for Thompsons’ Punjana with semi-skimmed milk (that’s all I had in!). I saw a mass of smoke coming up from the far distance. In the Basford area, I think. But remembered abbot the card not taking photos. So took out the card to check the lock button, blew into the card holder slot, and reinserted it. Back to the window, and the smoke had got a lot less. I could see the blue lights flashing around the area. I went back to the computer and quickly checked the emails. Oh, dear! 
I found I’d got a J Sainsbury order that I thought was due on Friday. This is going to be fun getting the food in the already packed fridge… but I like a challenge.
Started on the WP comments; well, I got one anyway. And the JS order arrived nice and early.
The driver put the items into the two saved boxes and asked for a bag as well. Seems I got carried away again with the ordering; mind you, it’s good that I now have a lot of spring water in stock. If there is another heat wave, no doubt the panic buying will start again. The man out the stuff in the hallway for me.
Among the items purchased were mixed veg in water and whole free Jersey cow milk. Orange cordials, vegan seasonings, bleach. Tomatoes with basil and something else I can’t make out? More stuff; bananas, fresh pod peas, yellow tomatoes, and fish-free fish sticks. Strawberries and roses for the warden’s weekly treat. I’ll take them down later on to the Wardens holding cells for them.
Two first-time purchasers here; A different brand of burgers and some smokey cheese substitute. I’ll have to ask Richard to read the does & don’ts on the label in the morning. It feels very solid?
Back to the blogging, and just as I started getting somewhere: Smoke & Mirrors Man Mr Fries Liberty-Global, Virgin Media died a death again! More time lost! Still, it may be an integral part of one of his ambidextrousness, chicanery, and self-financial-defence mechanism?

He’s probably convinced his bosses that he is making such a cock-up of running Virgin Media on purpose. If enough of the fog boys are all driving the same f-up of service and ignoring customers and may go bust, take BT, for instance, just as bad. Then the value of those companies will fall, and Liberty-Global can either get more than the $23.3 billion they bought it for and sell it or pick up a few more internet companies for peanuts, and we can ruin them as well… It Doesn’t make sense, does it? But I can see in my minds-eye Fries conning his bosses like this. Smoke & Mirrors are his forte!
I don’t say these things lightly. And it is nothing to do with my being covetous of his manly looks, stubby-chin, masculine body. Nor jealously of his $23m a year salary, bonuses and expense account on top of it all, not to mention the grand back-handers and shares in the company he gets given. Or his gorgeous wife… Where was I?
Started getting a little persistent again. He must have a big order on for some school or church? He reminds me of Harold Shipman without his beard.
Finally got the ode added and finished yesterday’s blog. Doing this one will take ages with such a late start on it?
Put the computer to sleep, and I took the treats down to the Wardens holding cell in Winwood Court. Forgot to take the camera with me. Huh!
Got to the office, and I gave them a choice of plonk, the roses and strawberries, back up to the flat and carried on with this blog.

All I did was turn in the swivel chair to stand up, and an instant loss of balance hit me! Bounced off of the recliner, which was good, cause its well-padded. Rolled and gently plopped onto the floor, hitting my head on the table leg.
Going to turn it all off and sit quietly for a while, then hopefully get summat to eat. Not eating might have encouraged the Dizzy Dennis spell?

Back later. Well, I hope so. Hehehe!
I’m back…

Oddlimost Nosh for Ages…
Tons of pod peas, nothing but the best…
Black & yellow tomatoes with a tasty zest.
No-Fish Fish Sticks, on this plate, the sweetest,
Part-baked batch, the tastiest!
A banana, two pots of desserts,
Well, I was at my hungriest…
I hope it is easy to digest!

Checked on the Plates-of-meat…
The ulcer was looking a bit pink…
Water retention put the feet out of sync,
The bottom of the feet began to plink,
Will that ulcer ever shrink?
Involuntarily passed wind, what a stink!.
Caused the nosh, I think?.
When the carer’s been, I’ll wash and shave at the sink!

Evening Carer called, twas Valerie
Val handed two letters from the box to me,
She sorted the medications professionally,
Thanked her with a punnet of fruit, strawberry,
I felt a fart building, but I didn’t let it free,
Leaving, she took the waste bags to the chute for me!

Letters Investigated…
One letter was from the bank, the TSB…
A leaflet, ‘We are here to help, that’s contradictory,
Nottingham had 23 branches in 2003, now just one, sadly,
And that’s miles away, that’s due for closure shortly…
The other mail, from the Council, telling me…
To go on the internet for a details inventory,
Fill it in to be able to vote next January!

Late Ablutionalisation Session Thoughts In Ode
I look a little like I was growling?
The shower curtain shows its dolphin.
I’m stuck in the flat, not globetrotting,
Passing wind all the time, it needs fumigating,
Little Inchies fungal lesion exsanguinating,
The rear end began erupting…
My mind and concentration ever drifting,
Frequently self-condemning,
Inwardly waffling, bloviating,
Moments of lucidity were thin…
Two stubbed toes… so aggravating!
Moments of pure daydreaming,
Yet I was content, although inwardly waffling…
With the Thoughtstorms bludgeoning…
Battering my brain, but not concerning?
I finished off, the toes still twingeing,
But, no point in my minging or ologoaning…
Hello, can I hear someone phoning?

Watched the Football Match
I was overjoyed that it was won by Germany!
France winning would be Whoopsiedangleploppery,
If England had to face France, possible misery…
England can win a competition final, finally…
Although, it certainly won’t be easy…
The final is played next Sunday,
Huh, guess who’s kicked off; Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley!

That’s yer lot, can’t type in this condition. I’ll post this later.

I’m back: I nearly forgot Sister Jane rang me. The Police Pegasus has been in touch with her as a first-responder on the list. As soon as I heard this, I remembered the form they had sent for me to update my details. Carer Richard never got around to helping me fill it in, and I forgot all about it! What a twit! Jane rang them back and kindly called me back to say she had done it but had forgotten to tell them about the youths who came into the flat at 02:00hrs the other month. We are a pair for forgetting things! Hahaha!

Have a great day!

Inchchcock: Ode, Diary & Blown-Up Feet & Ulcer

ODE OF THE DAY
With apologies for any grammar errors and drifting off topics

My worries & fears have grown fainter…
It’s not that I’m any less dafter…
I’m still scared stiff of cleaner Esther!.
I’m always in a panic, flutter or fluster…
But I had some good luck – what a flabbergaster!

I visited the EENT at the Queens Medical Hospital,
On my sixth visit, seeking cataract replacement, surgical,
Outlook not so bleak, but I was still sceptical,
The first Doctor was very sympathetical,
So kind that I felt almost emotional!

I waited to see the top Doc, obviously pedagogical…
For a final exam, to see if it was possible…
To make a lens to cover my cornea, which had a rimple,
My situation was becoming agathokakological…
A final exam deep in the eye, the fault may be congenital,
But the outcome was magical! ♥

It won’t be easy, but they’ll persevere!
I almost let out a loud cheer…
They put me on the waiting list; here, here!
Estimated wait, three months, and I thanked her,
My Smug mode engaged; it went nuclear,
Nothing can stop me know – well, maybe the Grim Reaper…
For the first time in months, I felt happier!


Then, of course, the other worries came to mind,
To suffer these Thought-Storms, I resigned,
Diabetes problems, Dentists as if designed…
To get me confused, my thoughts intertwined!

See above; mankind is so animalistic…
War, killing all tellurians, pathetic!
Humans have always been barbaric,
Yet we make some bionic?

Plenty of other ways to die than war,
Endless ailments attacking us for sure…
Covid, asthmatics, cancer, some with no cure…
Diabetes, heart problems & death in store…
Murderers, druggies, we’re killing more?

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NEMO MORTALIUM ONMIBUS HORIS SAPIT

0525hrs:  I woke and was a little surprised with the state of my feet, ankles and legs. Not a pretty sight!. But you can see from the last photos above that they have worsened! The water retention has given me rock-hard legs? A bit of a struggle to get out of the recliner this morning… And boy, Oh Boy, was it painful walking!
I had a mammoth job trying to sort out a pair of spectacles that I could see adequately with. It seems every day, sometimes the sight changes during the day, and I have to try other pairs? Still, at least I’m on the waiting list, at the bottom, obviously, but the prospects of getting the cataract done are here, at last and least!.
Is at the drilling, tapping and banging early today. Bless him!
Richard arrived, a little concerned at the state of my legs. He got the medications issued and gave me time for a natter, about the Diabetes sessions and how to get there, and other little grumbles. Hehehe!
I pressed on with this blog starting.

The DVT-Warfarin nurse arrived with a trainee along with her. Soon got the blood taken. They were both Angelic, caring, beautiful, appealing, kind, sweet gals. Not that I noticed myself, of course. On with the blog…

The landline rang. I could hardly hear whoever it was, were saying. They were on about the legs and feet? Keep your feet up? Maybe Richard had told Natalie, and they had called her? That was good on him. Back to blogging…
The reddening of the ankle seemed to be lessening as time passed. Of course, it didn’t last, but it cheered me up temporarily) The swelling had not improved, but let’s be thankful for small mercies, that’s what I say!
At last, I got around to finishing the top graphics and started on the Odeing… Accompanied by Herbert’s cacophony of mechanical sounds. Haha! Back to the blogging…
Meridian’s Natalie tuned up, and she had called the Doctor. She wanted to take a photo of my legs to send to the surgery. No problem, she took and sent off in seconds. The landline burst forth again, and I asked Natalie to answer it. The Doctor said she wasn’t concerned with the ulcer, just the swelling on the feet and toes. Said for me to put my feet up. Natalie also listened to my tale of the Diabetes Sessions and suggested that if they can’t move the location to Sherwood. A local volunteer company, minibus, I can’t remember the name, could give me a lift there and back for a low cost. She could arrange it for the sessions at Bulwell for me? I agreed and thanked her. Back to the blog…
Cleaner Esther arrived to see how I was, shed just finished doing the other flats, and checked on the laundry bag, “No need, you have plenty of clothes and towels!” Haha! Fair enough, I’m not going to argue with Esther!
Back to the blogging! A busy day, innit? Back to the blog…
It dawned on me that I’d not done the blood pressure or temperature checks yet. So I did them!
The SYS, DIA and Pulse were all okay; in fact, combined, they were better than they have been for the last four days now!
Shame about the body temperature, though. After four days of being as nearly perfect as possible, today, it was well down at 32.7°c.
The NHS input page indicated that the average for blood pressure was almost out of the red zone. Doing well there, methinks.
I got some chips, well, potato slices in the oven. It’s getting late now; it’s time to start feeding the innards!
Oh, I just had a weather warning flash up! 102°f! Hotter than yesterday! I can see through the balcony window that there is a decent breeze blowing the bushes about.

I can’t weigh up why my body temperature is so low? Hey-Ho!
I’ve sat for an hour or so, with my legs up on a chair, as instructed by the wonderful caring Doctor of mine. But typing side-ways on is bad enough without the cataract eyesight and jerking body limbs. Having to stretch to reach, and getting a jerk, is making me make even more cock-ups than usual. I’m so glad the Doctor isn’t worried about the ankle ulcers… I’m afraid enough myself, though. Hehehe! Of course, she doesn’t have to put up with the pain, does she? Tsk! And putting the feet up doesn’t seem to have helped the ulcers or water-retention in the slightest, does it? Grungleturds!

I’m now going to get the nosh prepped and served. The sliced potatoes have been in for longer than planned, 35-minutes, so they should be crispy enough.

I’m back… what a pillock! I left them on the counter near the microwave! They have gone all soggy now in the heat. What a Plonker!
I put them in the oven, hoping they would not come out too bad.

Botherations, testicles and ARGH!

I’ve lost heart now; every time a Windows update comes in, this seems to happen! It took me over a week to get it to work last time, and then, I think it was something Windows did to get it back.
Mayhaps I’ll sing a song, be happy… shout out at passers-by with friendly words of greeting, spread love and companionship to the shoplifters, muggers and bail-dodgers below, from the balcony… Or not. Still, I’m not going to get all worked up, swearing, spitting, depressed and make myself poorly with hatred and self-loathing. I’ll just carry on without taking any photos. I’ll not miss taking them and lovingly putting them on this blog. Ate the meal and took a picture, but… Humph!

Called, and she sorted me out with the medications. The gal was horrified at the state of my ulcers and legs after taking one glance and averting her eyes. Of course, it could have been the scary-looking, boing-boing belly that caused this. I tried for hours to get the SD card to work again… futilely! I now await the next Whoopsiedangleplop, Accifauxpa, Disaster, Cock-Up, foul-up, comedy-of-errors, snafu, omnishambles, or getting the trots! Not to mention walking into or tripping over something, involuntary right-leg Idiopathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about right-leg dance.

Up and down sort of day!

In the morning, I booted the computer to find the SD Card reader working again? So got the missing ones on here; they are for your belated perusal.


The potatoes looked okay. But the flavour was, well…
View during the 104°f heat!
Evening sunset – Thunderstorms forecast.

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Inchcock Today Ode & Diary

Of course, Inchie soon lost his own plot!

From the heights of success and much glee,
From being a Kingpin at the top of the tree…
I was never a Hank Marvin or Bruce Lee…
Drinking, I got the sack for my lampoonery,
Only one way to go now for me!

Down, with a frown…
In despair to be drowned…
I have yet to hit the ground…
For I’d been hoping for good luck to be found,
Doreen Dementia was giving me the run-around…
I’m like a blubbery whale that’s run aground!

But further into the quagmire, I plunged,
My last wishes and plans expunged…
Splat… I was dead, so no longer unhinged
No medications, no ears to be syringed…
No more waiting for the next ailment that twinged,
And not be moaned at, or be zugzwanged!.

SAINT PETERS GATE

Ah, St Peters Gate, will I get angel wings?
Two bouncers descended the stairing…
Nicked my walking stick and kicked me in the shin?

Why? I asked: “You were making too much of a din!”,
“If yer going to be a noisy bugger, you’re not gerrin in!
Another snuffed-it tellurian came, name of Martin…

Not as fat as me, in fact, he was relatively thin…
Same age, looked younger, said he was addicted to gin?

THE INTERVIEWS

I said, “I don’t want to know!” He said: ‘I was talking to him!’ …
Pointing at St Peter, who was busy questioning.
I say, ‘I was here first!’
“Ah, but I played
in World Cup with Geoff Hurst!”
I quipped: “Is that it then, footballers go first”?

Adding, “That’s not fair! God, would be fair!”
A bouncer. the one with long hair…
Pointed to St Peter, smoking a reefer, sat in a chair…
“You see that bloke there?
“Yea!”
Well, he makes the rules for what happens here…
And he’s a West Ham fan, pulled out his taser…

He stunned me through my blazer…
I shouted. “You missed my ticker by a centimetre…
Do? yer, dead anyway, and laughed with St Peter!
Sorry, I died now; I was safer back in Uttoxeter!.
The Tannoy burst out, “You, tubby, shurrup, you blooter!
St Peter departed, saying I sort the bald one in the next millennia.
Hang on, I say, how long does a millennium last?

Don’t matter, does it? As he grabbed my hand for fingerprinting...
No rush; you’ve no one inside whittling…
“What about my Dad and Cyril, my cat?” I said, grovelling…
Well, if yer like, I can send you back to earth while yer waiting?
Words I never thought I’d find so frightening!
———————————–

SUNDAY 17th July 2022

I stirred around 05:00hrs. I had a wee-wee without any leakages. Washed, shaved, and in an industrious mood, I set about prepping Josie’s Sunday meal.

Prepped the fresh vegetables, got them in the saucepan, seasoned them and kept stirring them every now and then.
This was when I realised I had got hot water from the tap! And Carer Valerie had requested maintenance to attend, and they were coming today! Oh, I did feel a fool! I turned my attention to trying to find a number for Nottingham City Homes Maintenance. Out of hours one, it is the weekend, and standard lines are unavailable. It was a farcical effort. I did find and ring the number: A recorded message, which as with everything on the phone, was hard to understand. I think she said that this line is for emergencies only. A smidgeon of panic rose within. And after being stumped completely, I decided to ask the morning Carer if he/she would mind calling the number to see if it was possible to let them know that the problem has solved itself. Which is better than saying: “The twit who lives here is senile and has Vascular Dementia, so the old fool gets things a muffle” Don’t you think! To save the cost of an engineer coming out when not needed. I hope the maintenance man doesn’t beat the Carer in arriving… Oh, dear!
I forgot about the Morrison delivery coming today via Amazon until a text message arrived. I rushed about and got room made in the fridge and had just finished it when they arrived. A jolly decent chap came with carefully packed bags. I was pleased to see they had sent some vegan burgers, I’ve had them before and enjoyed this brand, so
I ordered two packs of four burgers. How or why I ordered (if I did?) the breadcrumbed ones are beyond me? Vegan ice cream, some lemon ‘Free-From Bakewells on this tray… Mmm!
Food cupboard stocks resupplied. I’m hoping these cooked beetroots are actually-cooked and not raw like the Iceland ones were. Various cans of beans, pickled gherkins and a