Inchies Frictional, Unfrivolved, Fricking Friday!

Things started pretty well for me, oh, yah!

I got the Halloween hand-outs on display…

For carers, nurses, come who may,

Anyone visiting me from today…

Then got the potatoes, boiled with balsamic vinegar,

And a spot of Worcester sauce, & a pinch of demerara sugar,

They’ll do for later if I remember the bugger,

With the chilli, and put on some more sauce, tartar?

Titivated the kitchenette, dropped a jam jar!

An excellent job that it wasn’t the caviar!

The jar didn’t break, and it missed my feet…

Things were going well, all seemed alreet,

Off to the computer with a mug of tea, took a seat,

I even nibbled some biscuits, wholewheat!

The landline rangeth, the Amazon man, a right pain!

T’was then that my good luck, nosedived again!

We couldn’t understand what each other said,

So I went down to meet and talk to him instead,

His English was better than my Afghanistani,

But he left me, in the lurch, there was no barny…

He abandoned the food with me in the lift foyer, the Git!

I had to get the parcels into the lift, and I wasn’t fit…

Back up to the 12th-floor, struggled to get the bags out,

Then had to get them into the lobby,

Then into the flats lobby,

Then into the flat,

Then the hallway…

Then the kitchen, my energy drained away!

Next, the swearing started, I have to say!

The Git had put bleach in, it leaked, had to throw my bananas away!

The baguette buggered, utter dismay!

Tomatoes crushed, and I was feeling bushed!

Honey yogourts pot fell apart; I was further crushed!

Got the salvaged food sorted,

I was pissed off; I felt like I’d been ambushed!

The cooked ham was crumbs and crushed!!!

I was feeling despondent, to say the least!

Can’t see myself enjoying tonight’s feast!

Got the fodder all sorted… What was eatable anyway!

I was determined to get the treats out today for those who have helped me out over the year. Jenny, Norah and Frank, and Obergruppenfürher Deana and Obersturmbannfuhreress Julie, the ILCs (Indeependent Living Coordinators) at the flats. I rang them both to tell them I’d be coming down later to see if it was alright, as they may have been busy. Recorded messages on both phones that told me they must be busy. So I’ll get the goodies sorted out and go to Jenny then to the office with them.

As I was going out of the door, struggling a little with the walker-trolley, the postman came into the foyer. Oh, dearie me! This sounds like it may be a con-job?

An official-looking brown envelope, a white one, and then he handed me an ‘insufficient postage bill for nearly £11 for something that has been sent to me?

He kindly offered to ask his boss if he could pay for it for me, get the ‘parcel’, and I can refund him, and he’ll bring it in the morning. I was dubious, as I don’t think ~I am expecting anything through the post? Anyway, I thanked him and took him up on his generous offer for me, with a certain feeling of doom.

The white envelope was from Meridian, three A4 pages, about my Christmas needs for carers, Logging-in, Shadowing & Spot Checks, McMillan Charity Ball, On Call Centre procedure, and a Service-User Forum Wednesday 8th December at Foxton Gardens.

I didn’t over concentrate on owt, but the dodgy sounding parcel postage cost thingy. Then thought I’d try ringing the Wardens again, let them know I was coming down to see them and ask if they could have a look at the Social Services letter for me.

Finally, I got back to the walker-trolley of goodies, of off down to Jenny’s. On the way down, I thought to myself… well, I felt sorry for myself, really. Everything suddenly going into panic mode; surely things must calm down now… Hahahahahaha! Crap!

I called at Jenny’s flat, rang the bell and knocked on the door, and returned to the lift.

Down and into the connecting corridor with Winwood Court.

Called at the Wardens Interrogation and Body Search Room and dropped off the nibbles. Dean checked the Attendance forms for me, and I signed them. At last, something was going right – Hey-Ho! Little did I know what Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops still awaited me yet!

Then realised I had not put the prescriptions list in the envelope.

Back up and down in the lift again, and down to Deana.

Gawd, it did! I thanked Deana and hobbled out of the Winwood Court foyer, the first time I’ve been in the fresh air for months now, I think… But it proved to be a hazard ridden journey to the post-box to mail the letter… Just when I stupidly thought things were getting better again…

Unbeknownst to me, the wind was howling out there, and it whipped the envelope and paperwork out of my hand, high up in the sky, swirling around and then seemed to turn back in my direction, falling down in the car park twixt the vehicles. So, if it had blown off again, I would not have seen it again… Semi-panic mode engaged. I pursued the envelope and had to search a bit to find it. Still, the relief when I saw it trapped in between the branches of a bush was welcomed, even more so when I managed to get at it in time before it flew off into the clouds again!

I limped hastily as I could to the mailbox, checked the envelope, and posted it; thank heavens for that. Although, my EQ told me it would not have mattered, because as the voice said: “You ain’t going to get no financial help, any and either way, cocker!” Which was a smidge disheartening, bearing in mind EQ has never been wrong with his forecasts… no, I tell a lie, sorry. He was once, just the one time.

I hobbled back inside and just had to tell Deana what had happened. At least she got to laugh out loud before going home for the weekend, bless her. Hehe!

I set off along the link corridor and got to the connecting door.

Boy, did I feel a fool!

I could feel the key fob in my jacket pocket, but could I find a way in to get it? No! I assumed it had gone through the lining of one of the pouches. Back through link passage and to Deana, thinking she may have some scissors for me to use, to cut through the pocket.

Within a few seconds of investigating the jacket pocket for me, Deana put on a broad grin – that I believe actually said, “What a pillock!” As she pointed out that the sleeveless coat had two pockets on either side, one behind the other!

I blushed, felt the pillock above, thanked her, and scurried away in embarrassment and fast as I could… back, yet again along the corridor.

The hobble back into Woodthorpe was masked by the deep and genuine worry about what the hell am I doing? Since retirement, nothing going right, or even things going wrong, has been a part of my life, but I am not coping so well with things nowadays.

The trip up in the lift left little recollections of anything. I should have guessed that Dizzy Dennis and Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley were about to erupt; the hassle for such a long time nearly always ends in a tumble or similar – this time was no different, I’m afraid; Well, it was actually.

The haze came over me as I began to push the trolley through to the lobby from the cage. I gave myself such a bash on the right shoulder; it knocked me sideways, I clouted my back on the other side of the lift, and I went down, almost in slow motion!

My Luck Changed!

I had no idea who it was, but a bloke came out of the end flats and got me up on my feet again. See, I am fortunate sometimes. I think he knew me cause he guided me back to the flat and helped get the trolley in for me. Not sure what we spoke about, but I think we did have a natter.

I made a brew of Glengettie Gold and sat down doing absolutely nothing, but fretting of course. Nodded off for ten minutes. Woke up in need of a wee-wee and felt so much better, then? Back-Pain-Brenda was the main pain-giver, but you can’t blame her after that little backwards tumble. Hahaha! I made another drink, and took a Cocodamal, then got on with updating this blog. I hadn’t really realised how late it was, although with all the palaver I should have expected it, the Evening Carer arrived.

It was Helen. After she’d done the medications, it was she who told me what a terrible day she’s been having. Bless her! When I related my day so far and showed Helen the photographs (I was still doing the blog updating when she arrived), She did laugh! Which was good cause it might have cheered her up a smidgeon, I hope.

I realised that I could not find the Warfarin card anywhere. Mmm? Mayhaps I dropped it when I collapsed on my rump? I went to check in the elevator cage. Nope!

Summat else to worry about now, Tsk! I got back in the front room and was going to do another search of the multi-pocketed jacket… when… I spotted it on the carpet underneath the computer cabinet.

I pressed on with this blog updating, and woe of woes, I got as far as I heard and realised it was almost midnight! I’d better get something to eat… ah, yes, the chilli and the crushed brochette, or whatever its name is, bread to me.

While doing the cooking, it was complicated for an old chap, like what I am. Some done in the crock-pot, chilli-con-carne on the saucepan on the hob, and wedges in the microwave, and as for all the cleaning up afterwards… Humph! Where was I?

Oh, yes, I took photographicalisations of the night sky.

Part Of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woes – With Odes Series.

Inchcockski – Sat 29 Feb 2020: Chinwaggless, mentally malfunctioning & trying day!

2020 Feb 29

2020 tttFeb29

Saturday 29th February 2020

Danish: Lørdag 29. Februar 2020

00 Feb 29

GM0400:05hrs: I stirred into ersatz life with a Thought-Storm. But I think the frontal and parietal lobes were at odds with each other, and one of them refused to get involved? Hehe! For it was all over in a minute or so? Then the noise from outside caught my wandering attention. Not, for once, the ‘Hum’, but the wind and rain hitting the windows. (Mind you, the horrible hum returned as soon as the rain stopped later!) Storm Jorge, I presume? This tells me that the reason for the ‘Hum’, unknown to man and science, is related to the weather and or atmosphere? I considered emailing the Government to advise them of my thought? No, maybe not.

The old brain has kicked back into action again! I’d better take things slowly today. Not that there’s much choice, though. I’ve got tons to catch up with on the Computerisationing side. Mind you, Saturday’s are the best day for it, I don’t usually see anyone, so I decided to remove my heavily-ladened stomach and body from the rickety recliner and get on with things. A trace of willpower and determination crept in there – steady on, Inchy! Careful now!

I was caught out by my unsteadiness when I rose to grab the stick. But it didn’t last for long, thankfully. A took a couple of paces, and the innards started to rumble and grumble, so I diverted from the kitchen to the wet room. 

It was a good job that I did! The evacuation once again started of its own accord! I must tell the Doctor about this on my next visit for the test results. However, the session was one of the easiest and least painful I’d had in weeks, no messiness either! I reckon today, that has already shown up some changes, differences and surprises, is going to be a day of them?

7Sun02As I was making my first essential, crucial, vital, imperative brew of Glenghettie Gold tea, I noticed the lack of stinging from the right legs Sock-Glide injuries. So, I whipped down the jammie-bottoms and took a look, then this photo of them. It’s amazing how things seem to 7Sun04clear up so quickly on the right side of the body lately. Great stuff!

Got the medications out, took them with spring water and then mashed the tea.

It seemed to be going okay this morning. Which, of course, made me get my Worry-Bonnet on. It’s not Kosher for things to go well for me, almost paranormal! I tried to enjoy things while they lasted, but an irritating uncomfortableness and expectancy of failure, misunderstandings and/or cock-ups lingered! I can’t help it!

WD 0.0.128A I had another determined deep time-consuming search for the collapsable walking stick, but no luck. I wonder if I gave it to someone? Did I break it? Anyroad, I decided to buy another one. Went on Amazon. I also ordered a long picker-upperer at the same time. Both to be delivered on Sunday. Hopefully, the same thing won’t happen to either again this time. I’ll try not to lose this collapsable walking-stick, keep it in the trolley-walker. And the picker-upper, I will try not to leave where the walking stick goes, then I won’t mistake it for a walking-stick, get a dizzy-on and break it falling over! (Life can be a challenge you know. [Cry of sarcastic, mirth!])

WDP 1LbI eventually got around to computerisationing! It felt like I’d been up for hours already… hang-on, I had! Tsk! I started on the Friday blog updating. It took me a few hours with all the photos I’d made. But my persistency paid off, and it was finally finished and posted off!

I made another brew and got the mushroom in the crock-pot with some black-bean sauce, sea salt, and a drop of Balsamic vinegar as flavourings added. 

Herbert above did a bit of banging about, but no complaints, it took my mind temporarily off of the renewed howling of the ‘Hum’! Grrr! 

I then made up a pictorial post with chronically bad rhyming comments. This took hours as well. But, I do enjoy it as long as someone gets a laugh, even a smile out of them. Sent that off as well.

Inchies Wet Walk in Nottingham

On to the WordPress Reader. Then a few comments. Next on TFZer Facebooking and putting on photographs. Getting late now, the fatigue is setting in.

I’ll get the nosh sorted out. The plan is, if all works out, Rice with BBQ seasoning, and mushrooms with garden peas. I’ll see if I have any meat to go with it.

Back in a bit… I hope…

No meat in stock, hang on, I’ve got some frozen sausages in the fridge, I’ll use them! Hangeth on again, I’ve not done a top graphic and template for tomorrow yet. Better get on CorelDrawing. Dearie dearie me, no rest!

Gorrit dun at last! On wiv the fodder preparation!

6Sat24A messy job, with lots of pots and pan cleaning afterwards. But, worth it, despite how weary and done-in I felt. The rice I’d flavoured with Hoisin and BBQ seasoning, added garden peas, the mushrooms (cooked with black bean sauce), and some black beans. Sausages from the freezer, a pot of lemon fool, and wallah!

I really did enjoy it. Taste Rating: 7/10.

I went to finish off the soaking saucepans, cutlery and bits with the dish.

WDP 003cWD 0.0.128A I suppose it was inevitable, what with having such an almost Whoopsiedangeplop-free day up to now. Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters failed at just the wrong time, a bowl of dirty washing up water ended up, over me, the sink unit and the floor! It was a grind sorting things out and mopping, during which Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna burst into tormenting life! It was not a good situation at all. I’d got Toothache Tim as well coming on, and my mood sank into a depth of… well, dejection, a strong sense that I can do nothing right, and am worthless.

WDP 001 LbWD 0.0.128AThen the Thought -Storming started: Disrespect of myself, the new ailments, an inability to see how I’m going to cope, no one to talk to, no time to get things done, past indiscretions and mistakes… Oh, yes, they were all flowing into the brain-box tonight!

WDP 003a7Sun05WD 0.0.128A After I’d completed the cleaning up, I was stood leaning against the four-pronger-stick, looking out at the unwelcoming skies and sinking even further into the quagmire of negativity. The brain, I think went into neutral, in rejection of my pathetically inept thoughts perhaps? I took this photograph without really realising why. Maybe the brain told me to, in an effort for me to see how weak and confused I had suddenly become?

The mind was floating from one subject to another, none of them encouraging. Then, like turning on the light-switch, the rumbling, grumbling and stinging came from the innards. Ah, the Porcelain Throne was needed! So, I swapped walking sticks and visited the wet room. Now, my changing to the wooden stick first, was surprising, in the state my brain was, I still remembered about the times I had tripped over the four-pronger in the past when visiting the Porcelain.

WDP 10LWD 0.0.128A I got settled on the Throne, and for the first time in several days, the evacuation did ‘Not’ start on its own! I had regained control! This made me feel a little more confident, and I brightened up a tad. Painful, yes, but these movements always are for me, and with a bit of effort, I forced things along. I was feeling rather good now! Not up to Smugness-Mode yet, but an improvement on how I felt ten-minutes ago. Then I discovered a lot of bleeding going on from the rear-end. Any worries eased, when I realised it was via Harold’s Haemorrhoids, so no panic Little Inchies Fungal Lesion was not leaking! Cleaning things up, washed, medicated with the Germolene and Anusol creams, and changed PPs, getting the night attire on at the same time.

I exited the wet room, feeling terribly guilty at me getting myself in a pickle and depressed earlier on, in the first place.

I got settled in the £300 second-hand, c1968 recliner, that xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward. He searched for my valuables, which he found and stole.

WD 0.0.128A Within seconds of turning on the TV to see what was on offer, and my woolgathering, dithering mind decided it could not recall if I had turned off the kitchen and wet room taps, cooker etc. and I just had to get up again to make sure things were okay. Which was a flipping good thing I did! I’d left the light on in the wet room, and the tap on in the kitchen! Phew!

I got back down in the grungy-beige-coloured, none-working recliner. Turned off the TV, feeling confident that feeling so weary now, I’d soon nod-off. But again, sleep was not coming quickly. But my usually aggravating peace of mind was more relaxed now, even with the frustration of not nodding off! Hehe!