Inchcock Today: Diary with Odeing

Brief Diary – with Boringly Long Ode…

One hell of a Messy Day!

Friday 13th May 2022

I reluctantly woke at 05:30hrs, and after a few minutes of determinate efforts to nod off again, the need for the Porcelain Throne arose, and I was cruelly forced to get up!

I made my way to the wet room, pleased with how I was getting about, balance-wise. But was not too keen on how the Porcelain Throne evacuation went. Trotsky Terence had a more significant say in things. Thus it was messy and a semi-splurting affair. Needing a lot of cleaning up doing after the event.

I decided to get a stand-up wash, teeth, medicationing and shave, etc. done as I was there. The shaving well, well, one… just one nick on the chin. (The teeth cleaning I forgot to do, I did it later when I remembered).

Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Arthur Itis knees, Colin Cramps’ hands and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion were all medicated. I got dressed, thinking the Carer may soon be here.

Turned on the computer…

Boy, was I pissed off? YES, I was! Grrr! The thoughts of Liberty-Gobal’s Mr Fries getting so much salary and bonuses, and he can’t get an internet signal to work in Nottingham…

DOWN AGAIN

I turned everything off, leaving it for ten or fifteen minutes. Unplugged the lot. Then restarted the hub and, five minutes later computer. Gave it longer to sort itself out and into the kitchenette Humph! Stubbing my toe on the way against the server trolley wheel.

This is not going to be as short a dairy as I planned. My EQ had spoken, “Be prepared for a messy day! So I did!

From the depths of despair, I rose into flabberghastedness! Not only did the internet start, but when I slipped in the SD card – it worked the first time!!! So I got these photos from yesterday loaded to put on here. I didn’t get too excited, though, after I found that some were refused as ‘wrong format’, which they are not; I levelled off my mental state down to ‘Ah, well, I knew summat else would knacker things up!’ mode.

The first two are from the Health Checks, and the results were not too bad either. I’ve had much worse this week.

Oh, dear, now I’ve had to stop. Frustration, self-derogatory tongue lashings and self-hating had to have a few minutes with me! I realised I’d already put these on yesterday’s blog. Of course, I should have been blaming Dementia Doreen! But having to live with her, I didn’t want to make her angry with me! Hehehe! Good job that I didn’t lose more time and recognised that I’d posted them. But definitely, positively, no Smug-Mode was deserved!

When I made a brew and took this photo while doing so. The morning weather was how I felt, a smidge down, dank and not too hopeful. Hey-Ho! Hello, another trip to the Porcelain Throne was indicated…

2 So, off for the second visit of the day. Trotsky Terence was in even more control this time. The liquidifation of things was more advanced, which meant less need and time for cleaning up my delicate areas on the plus side! I used the minus side, which saved time cleaning up the splashed and liquid ricochets.

I took a photograph of the Winwood Heights, Chestnut Way, end car park. I was most concerned not to see RVM (Red-Van-Mans’) van parked on the yellow chevrons. In fact, I could not see it anywhere. He’ll be out at an AA meeting, his probation officer or visiting his mates in prison, mayhaps? Hehehe! Only joking! He’ll be working somewhere.

I pressed on with updating yesterday’s blog. Eventually, getting it done and posted. When I went to get a drink of spring water, I realised that it was beyond 09:00hrs. And no Carer had called yet. I’ll give them a little longer; usually, someone rings if they will be late?

I’m getting fed up with this – Haha! 3: I moved on to Facebooking the blog, went on the TFZer and Winwood Heights pages, read, and replied to some comments. After about an hour… back to the throne. The evacuated product was of a similar nature to the last visit. The jets of liquid were far more powerful… thus messy and needed cleaning again.

I got the bags into the kitchenette, ready to sort them out. I made a start on this blog, it was slow going, Doreen, and the brain’s concentration made things difficult for me. Then, the intercom rang forth and flashed. It was the Amazon shopper delivering my order. He even brought up the flowers first so that the bunches didn’t get crushed. Then he brought the rest up. Bless him.

I go the flower treats put safely stored from crushing, firstly. Today, the treats are for Deana, Julie and Jenny. I rang Jenny to see which one she fancied. Jenny opted for the centre bouquet.

The pink one. At least, I think the first two are pink. They’ve gone now, and I can’t remember the names, Tsk! Oh, yes, I can, one of them, the left one, Chrysanthemums! Sad, innit? My being colour blind and not a new thing that isn’t.

Around 1963 I failed a medical for a job on British Rail as a goods train guard. I found out that I suffered from protanopia – basically, I cannot identify reds from other close colours, orange, maroon etc. Then a couple of years ago, they told me I now (then) had dichromatism, having trouble identifying primary reds, greens and blues. Now I’d acquired Saccades in the right eye and glaucoma and cataracts. See what I mean? Hahaha!

Oh, heckythump, was I waffling on there! Sorry. Back to the diary…

I got the frozen things away. Vegetable burgers, iced orange lollies, potato bakes, potato bites and potato croquettes. I was pretty pleased with how I conjured around the stuff in the freezer to make room for the new stuff.

Then the fridge products, not many today, I intend to use up some of the canned foods. (We’ll see?). Tomatoes, sugar snap peas, mushroom pates, veg sausages, strawberry & grape pots to treats, that’s about it. Ah, no, well, yer see… I suppose you do… Those fresh cream French Horns? I blame one of my sweethearts on the TFZer Facebook page; I have a few. She just loves fresh cream French Horns, and when I eat one, it reminds me of Janet.

Janet and me in the photo here… in a dream I had! ♥ I’m off waffling again!

Cans of Chilli-Con-Carne, pots of jelly & custard, potatoes, fries, vegetable stock, tomato puree with herbs, a lemon, five bananas, a bottle of orange cordial, and a can of chilli soup make up the rest of the the the items purchased.

I got the fodder all stored away (The cupboards and freezer are close to cram-packed now). Then back on the blogging for an hour or two. Suddenly it dawned on me… nearly midday, and no Carer had arrived? I called Warden and Ballerina Julie and or Warden and Desktop dancer Deana to tell them the flowers are ready for collecting; if they can manage it. Julie answered and said she would come up to see me. I can mention the Carer missing again when she comes.

After making the call, I began to fear that I may have made an error. I was confused, and Dementia Doreen was making me fret; someone had called? I checked on the Meridian call register but could not read it with my eyes… I feared that if I say owt, and it turns out they have already been… I’m going to be regarded as a plonker of the first order? I took some faith that I was shaking a lot more than usual. The last time they failed to show, I’d gone so long without the medications; I got the shakes when they arrived. And boy, was I beginning to shake now! Yes, I was!

Back to my blogging, this is taking far too long. Interruptions of various sorts, and now Herbert had kicked off with his tap-tapping. He didn’t go on for too long. Oh, I think he just dropped something metallic, then!

Warden & ballerina Julie came in. I asked her if she would please take the flowers for Jenny, as I was expecting a delivery and call from the hospital, and she kindly agreed. I mentioned that I don’t think a Carer has been, and she said I was shaking and shuddering. Julie checked the Meridian log and said no one had been. She would mention it to them when she got back to the office. I thanked her, and off she trotted.

It then dawned on me why I’d ordered so much stuff for the freezer. Last week Richard said he would sort the dates of everything in the fridge and freezer for me. I knew I had some meat products I did not want and hoped that Richard would take them off my hands. So there will be plenty of room to get today’s stuff in it. But Richard had another call, and the lad was knackered from his shift yesterday and could sort the freezer for me. Hope he feels better and gets a good break. I’ll miss the lad, but glad he’s got a holiday to recover from his exhaustion.

I started blogging again, and someone from Meridian called me on the landline. She said they were very sorry about this morning, and a Carer is on their way to me now. I said thank you. Shame it had to happen for the seventh time since I’ve been paying them to come. Obviously, Julie had told them for me. Hey-ho, and pickle my walnuts!

Carer Valerie came into the flat, and she got my medications given. She asked me what happened with the morning’s Carer. I said I’ve no idea. Valerie said about me shaking a bit. I thought it had stopped, but apparently not. There is constantly shaking of some sort with Peripheral Neuropathy, but it was more violent this time and uncontrollable now. Thanked Val, and off she trotted. Within half an hour of taking the medicines, I think the shaking was back to normal.

I’m struggling to get the blog updated now. The concentration has been destroyed by all the complications of the day. I took the comfort of some sort in knowing things should calm down now… Did I say that?…

I got a text message, “Feet today!” reminder came in: The foot lady at the hairdressing salon told me it’s my day to have the feet done! Argh! No time to get nowt done!

4 Then it really irritated me that I needed Porcelain Throne visit number four! Just when I didn’t need it, I’m not going to be popular for keeping them waiting when I get down to the salon… mind you, I don’t expect I was before. Hehe! The evacuation was more liquified this time, but it was over quickly.

So, I fumbled and bumbled about again, and I got myself down to the ground floor salon. The looks I was greeted with said, “Oh, here it is, about time too!” They got the feet tended to, not without the odd ‘Argh’ emitting from my lips. I paid the £25, not cheap for getting one’s toenails done, but some other options are dearer. It’s terrible enough forgetting things, but then I gave my toe a stubbing against the airer as I went to get a quick wash. She gave me an appointment card, and I gave out some cans of treats. Then hastened ASAP back to the flat, fearing I may have missed the hospital’s call… Ain’t life a git some days? Well, most in my case!

Tried to get the blogging update advanced, and Valerie (the whisperer) came in the room, apparently talking to me as I typed away on the blog. Of course, I couldn’t hear her. She was returning the laundry. Treated to a little pack of grapes and strawberries. Bless her.

I put the oven on and, got some chilli on the pan, added some spirit vinegar to it and some peas. I’ve been assured that the spirit vinegar will lessen the sharpness of the chilli. After adding the peas and getting the hob going, I took a nibble. And it works! Yee-Haa!

17:15hrs The Evening Carer arrived. The morning caller was 7 hours late, and the evening one was an hour early. They must be having problems. However, the evening medications are mostly Warfarin blood thinners, Lansoprozole for Duodenal Donald, Codeine & Paracetamol pain killer, Ramipril, Peptic Antacid, and Atorvastatin Cholesterol inhibitor. The Folfiri has been stopped for six months to assess. A shame that I missed having the nurse call every day. Hahaha!

Turned everything off and got the nosh sorted out. Vegetable chilli con carnie, with cubes of potatoes done in the oven. Nice and crispy!  I soaked it up with two of the wholemeal bread rolls.

Janet and my favourite fresh cream French horns were gobbled up after the meal. There was a smidgeon of guilt lingering though afterwards. Hehehe! A Taste and Flavour Rating of 9.3/10.

Washed the pots up and spotted the sun on its way down. Despite having a shaking bout at the time (again!), I managed to get two decent, just usable pictures of it.

I took three or four, but the others didn’t come out well. Although not as vivid as some, I thought these two represented a sort of sadness. Then again, nowadays, me not being convinced, confident, in or of something, is usual, the norm! I’m not sure why.

Got a wash, and I stripped off and got down into the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, musty, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner.

Then the Thought Storms launched into activity. Starting off with just how good my EQ was this morning with his forecast for the day!

This day’s events have made me even more confident in the validity of my EQ assessments and warnings. For once, I have indubitableness! I must, and will, never doubt EQ’s veridicality again.

But the self-despising, guilt, shame, failure, and bad judgments flowed through the Thought-Storms. It took ages for them to slow down enough to let me get off to sleep. Humph!

ODE TO THE DAY

My EQ warned me as soon as I woke up this Friday…
That day was going to be frustratingly messy!
There was undoubtedly no festivity but a lot of fetidity,
Leaving me with panicky mental fatiguability,
The unexpected, or forgot about, and incongruity,
Doreen Dementia, making things go recalcitrantly,
At times, I just accepted my increasing insanity…
And after so many mishaps, by own banality!

I lost hours getting the Liberty-Global net back on,
I hate things technical, electric, mobiles and silicon…
Turned all off and then back on…
Somehow got it going again, thereon…
Which cheered me up, but just a fraction,
For EQ’s warning, it was like a klaxon!

The carer was late; they’d forgotten about me,
Delayed medications (6-hours), causing psychoactivity,
And I got the shakes, and sweats, all involuntarily,
Took the belated tablets, and soon less shaky…happily!
Harold’s Haemorrhoids, Little Inchies lesion, bloodily…
Arthur Itis, Colin Cramps, and Peripheral Neuropathy…
Toe stubbing, painful Porcelain Throne evacuating…
Hopes for an improvement turned out to be delusorily!

Every happening seems to be unfair, conspiratorily…
With the pressure of not knowing, I shook more giddily,
I got more and more uptight, responding haughtily,
I was not coping with things, well I was… but badly,
Self-pity raised its head often, and depression, sadly
Five visits to the Throne, and, Oh, many a wee-wee!
I was faffling around, like Old Mother Riley,
Ways out and solutions were well beyond me…
I knew I was in for a long day… fiddle-dee-dee!

My thoughts and concentration, or lack of I say…
Were thataway, thereaway, thisaway, anyway…
Will this stampede of failure and confusion ever fade away?
I started to fret and worry over silly things, minutiae!
Unimportant, useless, unwanted confusing clamjamfry…
Will I ever recover common sense, memory or logicality?
Then a text message reminder was sent to me…
‘Feet Today’, Toe cutting, £25 more to throw away!

I’d forgotten about the feet, got down to the salon alreet,
Being late arriving, her greeting look was like a bleat…
Painfully had my toenails cut and oiled on both feet,
Gave them each can of plonk as a peacemaking treat
And back to the flat in a hasty retreat…
Where I made chilli, that was a pleasure to eat…
But sleep was resistant; that wasn’t so sweet!

Odes Scribed To Cause A Smile and-or Laugh – I fank you!

Inchy – Tues 24 Nov 20: This time, Morrisons delivered my order to the wrong flats! I couldn’t even return the unwanted substitutes sent! Deana & Julie saved the day!

The Five TFZer group performing! ♥

Tuesday 24th November 2020

Maori: Turei 24th Noema 2020

With perms in the ladies hair, or wigs?

23:45hrs: I woke up just before midnight, still in pain from BPB & AG (Back-Pain-Brenda and Anne Gyna). And Harold’s Haemorrhoids soon joined in trenchantly, the moment I moved my stomach-dominated body.

I first felt, then spotted and removed the TV remote control, empty packet of Frazzles, pencil, and crumbs from the oleaginous folds of my belly fat. Well, it made a change, Hehe!

By the time I’d fought my way out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly, sickeningly beige-coloured, unstable, broken-down, uncomfortable, dusty, rusty, decaying, rickety, rachitic, recliner, and gingerly standing up, Haemorrhoid Harold had taken over the position as  LPAG (Lead-Pain-Ailment-Giver), the Germoloid ointment will be needed soon! Tsk!

Wee ChartA wee-wee was taken in the EOGPB (Essential-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket).

This was of the  (Unwilling-Weak-Sprinkly) variety, but the colour was, according to the Urologists Colour-Check-Card, within the ‘Healthy’, ‘Good’ number two-level, for the first time in months. Excellent!

I tended to the Health Checks. The body temperature was the same as yesterday, at 36.8°c. The battery indicator seems to have gone up a tad today?

And, what a change in the results of the Boots BP sphygmomanometer for the SYS result!

Down to 145, from yesterdays 171? I wonder why? I’m not complaining at all, but it would be nice to know the reason.

.I remembered not being able to get out last afternoon, with the waste bags to go to the rubbish chute. Some workers were doing something and had blocked the exit. Good job there wasn’t a fire. But then again, perhaps I had been informed and had forgotten about it. I wouldn’t be amazed if this was true.

I had a nip out of the door and flats door into the lift lobby, to have a nosey. I took these photographs with the Canon camera.

I could see some plastering had been done on the near end wall. I hope the mess left on the new flooring will clean up alright when they get around to it. It appears to be just some smeared plaster, so it should buff up alright without any damage to the new floor tiles. Obviously, they will be working again today to finish the painting off.

I hope to be able to get out to the chute sometime. But as the permitted time to use the chute starts at 08:00hrs, and the workers begin at the same time, it may mean me keeping the smelly bags of waste in the hallway for another day or so before I can access the chute room. Hey-ho!

The need for the Porcelain Throne arrived, a little later than usual. Off to the wet room, down on the seat, and waited for the action to start, which it didn’t! I had a go on the crosswording, read the ankle strap instruction and was about to give up when things started actioning from the rear end! I girded my loins, gritted my teeth, and winced in expectation of the upcoming pain…

The torpedo left the tube, with… wait for it… NO PAIN AT ALL! No bleeding either! Once it began slithering, it was all over and done within a minute! I hoax you not!

Fair enough, it was a tad messy, and that needed attention to detail, and time to clean up.

However, it was a delayed action jobbie, but it was as near a normal evacuation as I’ve ever had! Gawd, bless the Dioctyl® poo-softener capsules! Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit! Well pleased!

 I had a concentrated blast on updating the Monday IT blog. Accepting no interruptions for tea brewing, and fortunately, the wee-weeing seemed to have dried up? I should drink more.

Anne Gyna and Back-pain-Brenda both got less severe, but Duopdenal Donald started off. Can’t win ’em all!

It took three hours, but I got the updating finished and posted off to WordPress. Pinterested, a few shots, Emailed the link, and then I did some Facebooking catch-up.

Doing this, I got messages first from Norton. I needed attention: back-up, Vin and Security issues. I clicked on the amend buttons, and things seem alright now, I’ve got the green light on again? Then dropbox alerted me. I followed their instructions.

Closed the window (It said I can) while it worked, and had a peek at the feet, cause the ankle ulcer was tingling a bit. I’m not surprised, it looked to me as if it was moving up the leg, and had s new growth coming up on it?

Did another graphics, and checked on the closed window thingy for Dropbox. And it was still working away?

Then I went on the WordPress Reader to catch up on that.

Oh, blimey, it’s getting late! Better get a quickie ablutions session done! Even though I rushed at it (No shower), there was only eight dropsies and two tiny shaving cuts. No dizzies, but I did bash my shoulder on the door frame coming out afterwards. Another pretty good event!

I came to the front room (I haven’t got a back one, Hehe!), and thought I’d have a few nuts to nibble. Could I find them? No! Well, not least not for ages spent searching and looking in the most stupid places for the pot. I found cunningly hiding in plain view, in front of the TV. Harrumph!

I hope to catch the bus to Sherwood after the Morrison delivery has arrived and been sorted. But my EQ is telling things will not go well? Then I had a look on the web, an email had come in from Morrisons.

They’ve done it again. There were many missing and substituted items again. With my arithmophobia and dyscalculia, I can’t tell if I’ve been overcharged or not. But the total has been lowered, then again, I bought a lot of stuff on offer? Every order they do this to me. I’m cheesed of with them.

I went out on the balcony and took a photo of the sky towards the West, showing balconies of some the flats. Seconds later, the red bits in the clouds were masked, and it went dark, I felt certain that it was going to rain, but it hasn’t yet. I just thought you’d like to know, like.

I did a few more small trash bags up, and put them with the others in the big box, waiting to go to the rubbish chute. Then I was about to nip out to the lift lobby but stopped myself when I realised that the Morrison delivery driver may press the intercom at any time. Not that they have ever come on time, not for the last three deliveries anyway. With my luck, if I had gone out, they would have come at that time. Of course, they didn’t arrive again until after the given hour with the slot. So, I still don’t know if the workers have blocked the exit or not yet. This might prove a problem when the goods do arrive. Assuming they will get here eventually.

I see that ‘Grammarly’ have started doing automatic Spelling and Grammar checks now. I like it!

10:15hrs: The Morrison order has not arrived. It states clearly on the email, 09:00 > 10:00 hrs! Last delivery I had from them, I rang the company, and a recorded message told me… “You can rest assured that if we are delayed for any reason, you will be informed and told a new ETA” Rollocs! That one arrived 2½hrs late, and I didn’t hear anything from Morrisons!

Now, here I am stupid enough to give them another order! What an Eizel, Luftmensh, I am!

Found the latest Coronavirus figures for Nottingham.

There I was, waiting patiently, and keeping up a semi-spirited outlook on things, despite Morrisons best efforts to get me all hot and bothered with their stupid substitutions on the way. And my £889, Nokia 8.3 5G, with 171.9 x 78.56 x 8.99mm, 220g Side fingerprint scanner, and Google Assistant button, Punch hole camera, LCD 21:9, 60Hz, and 6.81-inch display, rang. Chortle! Giggle!

It was the omnipresent Obergruppenführeress, ILC, Warden, and Pole Dancer, Deana. Inquiring if I had a Morrison order coming today, (The heart sank). Apparently, my super-big order, the one with the unwanted substitutions I wanted to return; Had been delivered to Winchester Court, not Woodthorpe! Flibblegonkackles Glibblebonks! Globdanglesods! Spurgledamnations! and Hogglebogwash!

Perhaps the signs are not large enough at five-storeys high and ten-foot wide? I’ll ask Nottingham City Homes Generalfeldmarschalless Housing Patch Manager/ Catwalk Model, Angela Gould if we change the signs with added flashing lights in heliotrope and silver, and an arrow with Morrison in it, on the rooftops of each Court? Fernacklcumps!

Deana said she would bring the shopping to me. Bless Her ♥ Deana and Sturmscharführeress Catwalk Model, Warden Julie soon arrived at the flat with the belated, much-travelled Morrison order for me. Bless their cotton socks! ♥.They even brought them inside for me. I thanked them graciously, and off back to work they poddled.

The unwanted and overpaid for substituted foodstuffs, I thought Jenny’s friends who she helps could use. So I put the other stuff away, and made a carrier with the strawberry trifles, Curry flavoured pot noodles, a can of Posh Perry for Nora some other bits in it, and called to explain why I was coming down to ring on her bell. We had a good chinwag, which is always nice.

I got the box full of bags taken with me and visited the waste-chute on the way. Then down in an elevator to Jenny’s level, and put the bag outside her door, rang her bell, and had a problem turning the trolley around, and bashed my ankle-ulcer on the wheel arch, that steadied me up a bit! Jenny appeared at the door, had a look at the goods and declared they could all be made us of for someone worse off than us. That’s Jenny! ♥

Getting a lift back u[p was a smidge farcical. I ended up going down, ended up on the ground floor. But the bonus was meeting a tenants daughter and Francis and having a little natter. (Silver Lining!)

I eventually got back up to the flat and was feeling a little drained. And got on with prepping a meal. I used a can of Chilli-Con-Carne and added some gravy, Balsamic vinegar, mild chilli seasoning. Chopped some tomatoes, (A little cut) to it as well. I tried a taste, I feared it may be a tad too hot for my liking, should have left off adding the chilli powder, methinks.

On a low heat, and updated this blog, in between going to stir the fodder in the saucepan.

I put the waste from the cooking, into a little bag, and started to fill the box again.

Well tired now, I’d been up for about 13 hours or so. I concentrated on getting the meal right from then on. Turned off the computer, I can catch up on things later or in the morning. At least Anne Gyna was easing off nicely. (Thanks, Anne!) Not BPB, though, I think I may have to see the quack about her. But she started after the tumble on the wet-room, so might ease off later on. (And pigs might fly!)

I had a little review of today, Whoopsiedangleplop-wise for a moment or two… Up until the Morrison disaster, things were going well, apart from BPB giving me permanent, persistent pain, of course.

I got the Irish soda bread out. A messy crumbly feast to eat. Hahaha! Not a delicate or dainty taste, of a mealy texture, but tasty, and highly suitable for soaking up the Chilli gravy. A first-class, nonpareil, supreme loaf and depositor of crumbs on the recliner, carpet, and in my stomach folds!

I ate half of the small sliced loaf of bread with the chilli-con-carne. It was at my limit for hotness, but this didn’t stop me enjoying it, and granting a flavour-rating of 8.5/10!

Undoubtedly, one of the best Chillies I’ve had so far. As you can see by how the tray looked as I took it away to soak overnight in suds and bleach in the sink.

I got stripped (the thought makes me cringe) and settled in the c1968 recliner, in search of sleep. I’d hoped putting on the TV would have a somniferous effect, but no! The thought-storms in my hypnagogia began, and the debitage of my life, the failures, the mistakes, guilt and fears, cascaded around in my head.

The  Egads, there was a mangled, menagerie of mentalese memories in there. That I could well have done without remembering!

Inchcock Today – Mon 25 Nov 2019: Mayhem and confusion, and a fair bit of disillusionment! Worra rotten day!

1 Nov 25

2019 Tnov 25

Monday 25th November 2019

Croatian: Ponedjeljak, 25. Studenog 2019. Godine

0Nov 25

WDP 08R02aWD 0.0.5 01:35hrs: I woke up, feeling instantly depressed at the thought of having to go to the After-Stroke Physio session, knowing how it always gets to me mentally, as well as physically. Then I pondered, have I got the right bus fare? Then it dawned on me; it’s Monday, not Tuesday! (I’m quick, you know. Tsk!)

The regular first thing in need of the Porcelain Throne soon arrived. So I disencumbered my onerously-overweight body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, sometimes working, horrendously tatty, beige-coloured, rickety recliner. The one that xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward. And he fitted new CCTC cameras, he erected a drone-landing platform outside and searched for my valuables, which he found and took (I still haven’t got them back yet six-months later).

I got my balance and the four-pronged walking stick and carefully wobbled off to the wet room. The evacuation, as it has been doing for a few days now, started on its own accord, was substantial and insalubrious, grungy, and messy again! I had a good clean up of the room, utilities, and myself, then made for the kitchen.

1Mon02

WDPT03LWD 0.0.5 The moment I turned on the hot water tap, hot water flowed from the tap (faucet) over the block and into the sink. Oh, dear! I’ll have to beg Brigadefuhreress and pole-dancer, ILC Warden Deana later, if she can inform the Nottingham City Homes repairs for me. I’ve already got to ask her to call the NHS Medicine team about the appointment they made clashing at the same time as the Podiatrist’s Sherwood Health Centre trip on Thursday. And the Police Pegasus Record people for me. I’m not going to be a very popular tenant again, bothering them! Mind you. That is if the gal is in today? If not, and she’s on holiday or working at another complex somewhere as holiday cover… I’m well-up the creek without a paddle! Confusion and depression were on the way, the EQ told me.

1Mon05I moved the handwashing onto the airers. I kept jiggling them about to get it to dry better as the morning went on.

I then got on the computer and started to get the Sunday post updated. But it was a slow and frustrating job today. The myasthenia gravis finger-ends were alternating between total and partial none-response. So, much time was lost in finding errors and correcting them repeatedly. This got to me, a bit, and my spirits sank somewhat. Having to go bothering people for help with the phones didn’t help much either. I always feel a hindrance to them. They seem so busy all the time. Which they are, of course.

1Mon 01WD 0.0.5 I’d nearly got the updating done when I realised that I had taken the morning medications yet! Tsk! So I made another brew and did so.

Back to blogging. Another hour or so, and I’d posted it off. Then put some pictures on to Pinterest.

Then I made a start on today’s post.

1Mon07The right arm, where I’d burnt it on the oven racks taking out Josie’s smoked haddock last night, began to itch, and I found it difficult not to keep scratching it. So I rubbed some Savlon cream on the little scars, this should ease off the itchiness! And it did, too! Any more medical help or advice you need, just call me! Hahaha!

I went on the WordPress Reader next. Then onto TFZer Facebooking.

WDP 11eLOff to the wet room for a wee-wee. And what a wee-wee it was! Of the MES (Marathon-Endless-Sprinkling) variety. I thought it must be time for dinner when it finally ended! It must have taken several minutes to trickle its way to a final conclusion. I think that maybe, had I used a receptacle to relieve things in, a teacup might have been too big! The pain, as well. Blimey!

I got the ablutions done, so I would have time to try and get down to the Oberuppehfureress’s Holding and Interrogation Cell office, and not be late in getting back for the Angel of Mercy Phlebotomy Nurse’s arrival. Which I didn’t want to be late or miss the beauty of!

1Mon06I got in and stripped off for the cleaning session, and boy oh boy, were the plates (feet) colourless! They were whiter and paler than I have ever seen them before! I could be dead here, and no one has bothered to tell me about it, you know. Hahaha!

WDP 02lb

WD 0.0.5 The day’s ablutions Whoopsiedangleplops are worth recording. Just for the sheer number of them! During my time in the wet room doing my ablutions, I considered giving up, moving to the Guinness home on Colville Court, Nottingham NG1 4HG. Where assistance is available 24/7, for just a few pounds more a week in rent… but realised there would be no point in moving again, I’d only take my bad luck with me. Suicide was not on the agenda. Just a pissed-offedness of 1Mon08mega-proportions. Anyway, how could one leave Jenny, Cindy, Penny, Mary, Gaynor, Margaret, Christine, Angela, Josie, Mo, Deana, Julie etc.. Not that I see them much, but when I do, it never fails to cheer me up. Back to the farcical wet-room session: Oh, the legs looked a little better today.

Ablutionalistic Whoopsies:

  • Dropped the toothpaste tube.
  • Clouted shoulder when bending down to pick it up.
  • Hit the other shoulder on the sink, getting back up.
  • Cut the inside of my mouth, when the autonomic nerves started the right hand shaking as I cleaned the teggies.
  • Dropped the toothbrush.
  • Dropped the razor, three times!
  • It broke on the third occasion, replaced it with the spare one.
  • Cuts on cheek, neck and the ear-hole acquired.
  • Dropped the carbolic soap twice in the shower.
  • Dropped the shower-head, it hit the knee on the way down.
  • Grabbed the towel from the hallway airer, and knocked over the machine.
  • The warmer gave out a little dull-sounding ‘Plump’ as it stopped working!
  • I hit my knee on the shower stool, fetching it back in.
  • Finally (I hoped at least!), I knocked the Sock Glide off of the chair as I lost the old balance a bit.

One of my more interesting, shall we say, shave & shower sessions that one was. (And saying that isn’t easy, Hehe!) Having got the spit and polishing up done, I hastened to get ready for the trip down in seeking assistance.

1Mon09 In the lift lobby, it looked as if the Mysteries of my beloved Woodthorpe Court. That lies somewhere between the twilight zone and a wormhole slipping through a tear in the fabric of space & the universal continuum, illusion, delusion, & hallucination, had been busy again? Haha!

I poddled along, the three-wheeler in front of me, and my mind all over the place. I arrived at the ILC’s Kamp Kommander’s Interviewing and Correctionalisationing Office. The three sweethearts were all in the room, busy catching up with their Tenants Monday morning problems moans and gripes, I should think. 

  1. WDP 02aLI explained my problems, starting with the Pegasus form to be filled in, and the silly bit of paper with the return address on, in need of guidance on how it supposedly works. Oberstúrmbannfhreress Warden Deana (Just a cognomen), knuckled down and helped out straight away. She filled in the form from details held on the Nottingham City Homes computer record for me. Then supplied a safer envelope for me to use for posting back to the Nottingham Police Headquarters. Thanks, Deana!
  2. Then, she tackled the problem of the two appointments this Thursday at the same time. The lady who will be calling from the Medicines Team, Leoni will call back to me later when she returns to the office. Thanks, Deana!

I passed the nibbles around, and Deana gave me the envelope to post. Thanked her and walked out to near the bus stop, and posted the form. I went over to the bus stop, and a lady who thought I was going for the bus, stood up let me have her seat, bless her! I explained that I had just come over to offer a ‘Good Morning’ to everyone. No one answered! Haha!

1Mon09aWD 0.0.5 WDP 02LcRI made my way back to the flat, taking a snap of the windblown al-fresco seating area in the drizzle. I noticed that the door was ajar. I pressed the green open button, and a chap came along to tell that I must not push or force the door! I explained to him that I did have to if I wanted to get outside! He repeated that it was a fire door – I pointed out that it is not like the doors in the new Winwood Court, that is how come there, is a green button to press, it does not open automatically, you have to push the door! That is what I have been told. He was not impressed; he just repeated that I must not force the door, tutted and went off in a huff! Humph! I don’t know who he was.

1Mon09bWDP 02lbWD 0.0.5 I got inside the flat, (09:40hrs) and found a note from the Phlebotomy nurse, who wrote she could not get me to answer the door at 0930hrs. Talk about bad luck in the timing. If it hadn’t been for the know-all bloke, who was wrong in what he said anyway, I wouldn’t have missed the nurse! Globdollocks and Rumbustiousness! 

WDP 14LWD 0.0.5 Now I have to ring the Sherringham Medical Practise Surgery. It ended up that I have to go to the surgery for my Warfarin blood test. The only slot they have left is for Wednesday at 11:45hrs. Just can’t be helped, though. Not with my rotten, horrendous, continuos, lousy, soul-destroying, heart-attack-prompting, pathetic, suicidal-tempting, crap, horrible luck! But, it doesn’t bother me, mind. Lie01a!

The doorbells chimed-out, and it was Josie, returning the things from her Sunday nosh. Happily, she said she loved it! Which, despite the Whoopsies, cheered me up a tad!

WD 0.0.5 Then Leoni, from the Medicines Management Team rang. To change the Thursdays double-booking with the Podiatrist, at Sherwood Health Centre. Cancelled Thursdays, and made one for Wednesday 4th December for 09:30hrs. Bless her, she made it nice and early for me! ♥

WD 0.0.5 Then the phlebotomy nurse rang me, making an appointment with me, also for Wednesday 27th November, but did not know what time it would be for yet!

WDP 4RI was now in a state of utter confusionableitis!

WD 0.0.5 My head was spinning – My concentration shattered – My will-power was virtually none-existant! – It was gone passed my head-down time! It had gone dark and dank, and the rain is falling slowly again!

And the thought of going to the miserable, pettiness and sarcasm-ridden After-Stroke Physio session in the morning is already lingering ready to grow and develop into a new depression…

WDP 03RWD 0.0.5ARGH! I’ve just realised, with having to stay in all day. I’ve not got the money for the bus fare in change for the rotten, unwanted morning! I’ll have to walk to the bloody-physio work-out now!!! That means two and a bit hours, so I’ll have to leave by 06:00hrs at the latest, and knowing my sodding luck, and the British weather, it’ll probably be raining!

1Mon14WD 0.0.5 Oh, so fed-up! I went to make a brew and think about something to eat. And the door chimes rang out again! It was an Amazon delivery! The mood changed slightly, still not happy, and even depressed, but a twinkling of hope came into my mind – “Aha, is this the Rice-cooker replacement lead! Hahaha!

1Mon13WD 0.0.5 No such luck! It was the monthly Mannen Lemon cream wafers that were being delivered! Ah, well, I should expect something to go right? An absolute, Shlimazel like me? Don’t make me larf!

So, I’ll have some of the quick rice later. Not all that later, I hope. Cause I’m worn-out and mentally drained now.

WD 0.0.5 1Mon11Hello, a noise from the door again, I’ll investigate. Fancy that, a load of junk mail had been delivered for me to enjoy! Well, that cheered me up no-end that did! A good job I live on my own, for the mutterings coming from under my breath, that was not to be repeated in any civilised company! The Houses of Commons, perhaps?

I had another look at the Google Calendar. Now, what needs doing? Ah, the surgery must be contacted, about the phlebotomy, or have they already been in touch with the nurses?

1Mon12

I feel deficient now. I imagine that the electric lead will be delivered tomorrow while I’m out unhappily being glared at and spoken of behind my back, be read to from a book. Listen to crap “You are walking along the beach, the sun is warm, and to paddle along the water’s edge…” or some such so-called relaxing taped talking, and hearing of other’s holidays to Asia, America, Australia. Their latest new car. Their families Christmas arrangements. Going through agony with the exercises from Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna, Maria Myasthenia Gravis and so on, leaving the… oh, I got carried a bit there. Sorry. 

I had to close down the computer, through over-fatigue (Mental I think).

1Mon22I got the handwashing done, wrung and hung. Got into the night-attire, and once the meal cooked and served up, tucked into it!

Cooked Turkey, RRQ flavoured rice, with chopped tomatoes and onions added. Some wholemeal sliced cobs, but I only ate two of them. Flavour-Rating: 7.5/10.

I got the pots washed, and settled in the second-hand, c1968, recliner.

I lay for a while, pondering on the things, well, the cock-ups that had come my way today. But did not get around to actually thinking-out any solutions or damage limitation. For once sleep came quickly, defying the mind-blast in my head!

I’m not sure how I got through today’s mighty, mayhem of macabre, morose, mentally-testing mishaps.

Inchcock Today – Monday 8th January 2018: Heaters being replaced, so I abscond for the day, while they do it! The Marathonist of Marathons I’ve ever made, ensued!

Monday 8th January 2018

Armenian: Երկուշաբթի 8 Հունվար 2018 թ

0245hrs: I woke up and immediately the belief that an upcoming recumbentibus would arrive today: The day I have to get everything done early so I can relinquish my occupation of the flat for the day – while the crew remove and install the new radiators. Nothing could exclude this fear, and my grey-cells mused, fretted and the apprehensiveness had started Duodenal Donald off. Coping with change and stress is no longer my strong-point.

Imbibed the medications and did the Health Checks. The computer on and straight to getting yesterdays diary finished and posted off.

This is not going to be a good day. The rumbling innards have started already, Duodenal Donald and Hippy Hilda are both in fourth-gear, I am anxious about events about to take place and have to evacuate the apartment for the day. Worried? Me? Yes! No doubt about this. But can still feel the appreciation of the help Jenny has been.

I might get some photographs taken later when I go out on the enforced abdication of the flat?

A slight panic overtook me as I was adding now received an appointment for the INR test to the calendars; thus followed, atypical of me, “Panic at will period” Tsk!

I went to check the dentist appointment day, all I knew was it was in January sometime and feared I might have missed it. To my horror, it was not in the written or online calendars! I flapped about getting the files out of the case for the medical section and after a while found the letter – The date was for the 14th, so I wrote this and put it in the Google calendar – then I realised it was for 14th March, not January! So I had to change it all again. All this with Duodenal Donald in the most unhappy of moods with me!

Made a mug of tea, no calls to the Porcelain Throne yet, that caused a mini-worry; if I don’t pass and have to go out for the day, I could find myself in difficulties?

I made a start on this blog up to here. Gawd, the innards are growling away today.

I got the mobile and camera in the coat pocket while I thought of it.

Hello; off to the Throne I go.

No movement, only wind, wind and more wind! I found I’d left the flipping fan-heater on all night. Snug as a bug I was there, reading the Lenigrad book. Only 60 pages left to peruse. But it was damned cold when I came out, especially with no radiators working.

Had a go on WordPress Reader then Facebook, cause I felt confident I would be far too drained and tired tonight to do anything but sleep.

Made a brew and did a TFZer graphic, A Mystery Photograph Quiz. Asking the TFZers if anyone can tell me what was going on here? Haha!

When I went to do the ablutions, it was virtual agony from Hippy Hilda as I painfully put on the socks and trousers. No wonder this post sounds like it is written by a pilgarlic pensioner who is on the verge of losing it altogether – I am that man! Hehe!

The workmen arrived, and I greeted them, had a laugh and then set-off out, the start of the marathon all-day-hobble!

A quick look out of the window before departing revealed a frostiness of immense magnitude.

Off I went, down the lift and out through the lobby doors. Which was not responding to the release button being pressed? But I managed to heave the doors open on the end and escape. Handy this, if there was to be a fire that needed the building evacuating? Tsk! Just a thought.

I called in the Obergruppenfurheresses Den on the way out. Wardens Julie and Deana were busy.

Had a chinwag and a few laughs (Not many) with some other tenants.

Here on the left, is the map I made up of the route I took after leaving the warmth of the hut on my marathon hobble:

Flatulence accompanied me for much of the course.

However, Hippy Hilda started to like the exercise the further I went? Duodenal Donald, Haemorrhoid Harold, Anne Gyna and Hernia Harry and the poorly painful plates, were not so keen.

The frozen-solid leaves on Chestnut Walk gave off a warning for me to take care in the limp down the hill into Sherwood.

This tale of the hobble, may get little out of sync time and happenings wise, I’m afraid to say. This is because usually after I go out for any length of time. The first thing I will do on getting back to the cold, lonely flat (Hehe, couldn’t resist putting this in, in search of sympathy!), would be to make a list of reminders on the notepad to use in the following morning. Then, when I update the blog, I can consult it. Although the order that the photographs stored on the SDH card helps. But tonight, I got home to the mayhem of four young, fit, good-looking, healthy, robust, well-paid men (Makes me sick! Hehehe!) in my abode, working merrily away finishing the installation of the dreaded new Storage Heaters for me. (I’ve done a separate post of this part of the day, funny and in rhyme of sorts). The hecticness meant I did not do the note scribbling reminders last night, you see?

Down onto Mansfield Road, up the hill an down through Carrington.

Down the incline and passing the Lidl store, where I half-expected the staff to run out into the road and give me glares and sneers like they do when I go in the shop, but they didn’t. Hehehe!

Along and passing the Clarendon College, as was when I attended night classes for the Elementary and Associate Member of the Grocers Institute. It’s amalgamated with other places of learning and is now called Nottingham College. I had no education at school and left at 14 years-of-age. I learnt how to survive bullies and when to duck, that was about all. I got sidetracked there, sorry.

Up to the pelican lights and crossed over the road. Much to the displeasure of a Yuppy type looking fellow in a BMW, who was not in the least bit pleased at having to stop his dark blue car at all, to let me over the road.

I could not hear or read his lip, so I don’t know what it was he was saying to me, but his accompanying single finger sticking up, indicated he was not a happy chappie.

I pressed on up the hill.

Thinking to myself, why had he been so upset at me crossing the lights? As I was doing this, a Nottingham Pavement Cyclist nearly hit me as he sped by from behind of me, on his bike. He did the same thing further up the pavement as he passed another pedestrian. I’m glad to report that this chap shouted after him and waved his fist at him! The whole world of manners has changed along with the PC brigade gaining more power. Good job an altercation didn’t ensue, cause that pedestrian walker ahead, would not have stood a chance when it came to court. All the cyclist needed to do was tell the Judge or Magistrates, he was a sex-change Muslim Lesbian ex-offender, a Member of Parliament and was saving the world by not using fossil fuels! Haha!

To the top of the hill and right around the Rock Cemetry gates.

More memories were triggered at this spot.

In there, is the grave of Watson Fothergill. The most elegant architect whose work I have ever come across.

Down Forest Road East and Coalville Street to the Guinness Trust cleverly name Coalville Court, Home for the elderly.

I popped in to discuss the availability of any flats and the costs etc. It turns out there is 24hour cover 7/7 here. A cafe where you can order your breakfast, tea or evening meal. I was shown around two single flats. Very nice, and they decorate it for you when you move in with your selection of colours. One is free now, but they have to get things sorted before they can allow anyone to occupy it. The buses are not far away, and every three minutes into town weekdays. Regular Saturday and Sunday services. I can catch one to Mansfield, Derby, Hucknall, Bulwell, Arnold, Carlton etc. I was beginning to get excited about this. Then the rent was mentioned. Oh dearie me!

Mind you, if like Welsh Bill the electricity charges double with the new radiators, and Herbert keeps on with his noises above but, knowing my luck there will be none-available then.

I filed these thoughts tenuously in my grey-cells and departed. Hobbled along to the Arboretum via the side entrance for a change. This brought me out, or preferably in, much closer to the Bell and Cannons that Britain nicked from the Chinese. The Chinese bell tower (pagoda) was designed in 1857 by Marriott Ogle Tarbotton as a war memorial and built in 1862. The bell was looted by British troops from a temple in Canton during the Anglo-Chinese war (Opium War) of 1857-61. Two of the cannon were captured at Sebastopol.

Down the centre path on my way to the pond, where I had planned to feed the Mallard Ducks with the earthworm pellets and pigeons with some seed.

The pond water was frozen solid, with food thrown onto it and laying there in the ice, untouched.

The only birds in the place were the captive ones! These parakeets were lovely; they reminded me so much of my Australian cyber-love, Marie, she has one as a pet.

Chagrined at failing to see and talk to my beloved mallards. I left and decided, being as there was a lot of time to kill before having to get back to the flat, I’d walk up the hill and down passed the Forest and had a perusal around the Asda (Walmart) store on Hyson Green.

Mistake that!

By the time a got to the place, the feet were giving me some stick. Then I had to stray around inside, killing time by pretending to look at the clothing section. But when I got to the foodstuffs, in my element here, I realised this was going to cost me. An hour or so later, I’d virtually filled both bags at the self-serve checkouts. They had curried baked beans on offer at 50p a can! But only had six left on the shelves, so naturally, I took all six. A bright idea, with how the feet were, that. Adding milk, crisps, garden peas and lentil snacks to the basket. Dimwit came to mind later.

No chance of my walking to town now. I waited for and got on a Tram. I dislike using these nowadays. You have to remember to swipe your Pensioners Free Bus-Pass before getting on and will get put off if any checkers get on to find you have forgotten to swipe the card. They are filthy inside: food dropped on the floor, clients giving abuse to each other, loud music: drugs being smoked (I think judging by the smell the roll-up was giving off?). 90% of the passengers on their mobile phones, almost shouting at whoever is on the other end. And, there were no seats free! Peoples Boeotian nature comes out when there is no conductor on the trams. Add all this to my having the weight of the worm pellets and birdseed to carry with me. I am a right Shmendrik!

Got off the tram at the Theatre Royal, had to step over what looked like a freshly regurgitated pizza to me, near the tram seats. Still, more time to kill, I wandered through Trinity Square, my rate of knots had declined with each hurtful step now. I called in the Wilko Store, having plans for only a walkabout. Came out having purchased Ginko, Fragrance booster, St Peters Worts, Eyelid spray and a wooden spatula. Why? I think I was so tired and might have been having a funny-spell?

Made my way to the Poundland shop on Fletchergate. To see if they had Chocolate almonds, misshapes of chocolate brazils or Pork Pies on sale. They hadn’t.

So I left being accosted by three people collecting and trying to get people to sign up for monthly donations for the PDSA. I was polite enough not to ignore them. And explained that I support the Nottingham Hospice and the salvation army and regularly give to Big Issue sellers. I am being hounded by appeals for water in the third world and other daily requests on TV and through the Royal Mail and will not sign up for anything else; but, I gave a donation now cause you made an effort. And gave him a few quid. I might not have bothered talking. The obviously parrot-learnt schpeel came out, with an upturned lip sneer and a look of incredulousness, when I walked away.

I went to the M & S store, and down to the food hall. Struggled on my wandering about the store, but determined to find some short-dated fodder. I found a box of chips and some Dinky Melton Pork Pies. These still cost twice as much as their Morrison counterparts!

A little earlier than planned, I made my way to the bus stop. No more photographicalisationing now, the bags were taking all my concentrations to carry, and the pain from the plates-of-meat was torture. Got on the bus and arrived back at the flats, but oddly, no memory of the journey – maybe I fell asleep?

Dropped off the bus and to the hut. I indeed fell asleep in the Obergruppenfurheress’s Social Shed!

After starting to talk to the lady there, who was also having her heaters installed today, I drifted off a few times, waking occasionally but no recollections of who was there or said what. I have a feeling, I might have spoken to Warden Deana.

Woke again later, and Deana was gone. I made my way back to the flat.

T’was mayhem I say!

An hour or so later they were cleaning up after finishing the job. A chap showed me the radiators, not how to changed or adjust them mind. Hehe! A little chat and they were off.

I did a quick look around to see what needed sorting.

Oh dear, this will have to wait until I get over the marathon hobble.

Got the short-dated dinner going.

Only the disappointing chips needed any heating up.

I need not have bothered. The chips were bland and tasteless. I might have well heated some cardboard up to eat. The beetroots were bitter. The mini-pork pies were just about okay. Had to add some Soy sauce to spice it all up a bit. Rated this effort at 4/10!

The tomatoes were not too bad. Left most of the chips and all of the beetroot.

The flat was feeling nice and warm.

Did the pots and settled to watch Law & Order on the TV. Fell asleep during the first set of commercials.

Woke up in the early hours, feeling so cold! Got up and got a thick quilt and threw it over me. I put this phenomenon down to the heaters settling in.

Drifted off into the land of Nod again.