Plans For My Next Failed Escape Bid!

Last evening, my beautiful Caring Carer, Julia and I made a plan to enable my escape from this lockdown in the flat, and get outside, and have a hobble into Sherwood! Thus I can avoid the Obergruppenfhüreress’s and Lap-Top Dancers, Deana and Julie, on my way out!

After Julia had tended to my medicationalisationing, she asked me the questions about what meds I’d taken other the those on the list, filled in her report (That’s the one that no one has ever read yet!). Checked on the supply of drugs in the kitchenette drawer, she explained her plan for my escape from the lockdown. Julie departed, taking the waste bags with her, to the rubbish chute for me. Bless her cotton socks! And leaving an elderly dithering tenant, feeling sad at her departure. (I always think this way when a good, kind carer goes me, Tsk!) I decided to write down the scheme for Wednesdays Great Escape to Sherwood! I had a sense, a feeling, that Julia’s ideas were going to be so doable and workable.

Unfortunately, within seconds of the Carers’ departure, I had an unwelcome ‘Haze-Over’ attack. Not sure how long it lasted, but I seem to have lost possibly a couple of hours of memory. (Although they did partly return in the morning, which is not a rarity) Later on, I found myself sitting in the recliner with the TV on. With crumbs over my large blobby-like belly (bits of Twiglets in the folds? As I woke and returned to life, of sorts, I was feeling great! Almost clear-headed. And I soon worked out that I still had time to catch the bus down to Sherwood… But, no!

Closing down the computer to get things ready for my breakout, I saw several emails coming in. One from Amazon, concerning two deliveries, the one in the photo was the tracking of the Morrison delivery, which I was confident that I’d made it for next week… It was apparently just a few minutes away from being delivered. The other regarding deliveries that are due tomorrow… This put the kybosh on my escaping today and now tomorrow as well! Obviously, another Whoopsiedangleplop on my behalf!

Hello, the delivery is here now… I’ll be back…

Hehehe! I’m back! A young lady delivered the four parcels of fodder, putting them through the doorway for me. I fell in love with her straight away, had it not been that I am about 60 years older than what she looked, six inches shorter, wore PPs, was bald, sight-impaired, deaf, and nearly as attractive to women as Lillie Savage… I momentarily thought about asking her if she fancied a cuddle, massage or petting… but I thought better of it no point in risking prison at my time of life.

I thanked her, and off she shot. I took the bags through to the kitchenette, and I popped into the wet room for a wee-wee.

And this one was one of the worst I’ve suffered for flipping weeks, or even longer!

I tore at my clothing to get at Little Inchie, dropped the trees on the floor, and prepared for the torrent to come…

But it didn’t! I could feel the urine building up increasingly more painful pressure… all I could do was wait for it to do its own thing – any pushing from me was just unbearably hurtful, so I waited…

And waited a little longer. Sang a song, whistled, prayed… Eventually, it felt like a couple of days later, the tsunami evacuated!  Agony! Whoosh! Splashback like never before, I had to take a shower to clean up my anaemic looking flabby body and then get the wet room disinfected.  I now seriously fear the next wee-wee session! But the relief when it had finally passed almost sent me dizzy, if that’s the word.

Now, having spent an hour or so weeing and sorting things out, I realised that the frozen food in with the other groceries will not be frozen any longer! I hastened to get at it as quickly as I could to get in the freezer.

I gave the big toe a bashing against the server trolley wheel – Now I’m getting annoyed with things! 

However, I continued to get the purchases away, starting with the now unfrozen frozen foods. Luckily, there were only two frozen items, well, previously frozen items to go in the freezer.  The now liquid in the bag Twister lollies, and a box of beef in gravy, I poured them into the freezer… A joke there, did you see that? Despite such a bad morning, I’m intent on keeping up my pecker! Although, I am not too confident of my chances after the next wee-wee arrives. Ahem!

The sight of the ready-made meals brought a warm glow to my stomach. WW Chillie and wedges, Roast Vegetable Risotto, and the Chicken dinner substituted with Beef & Black beans, Shepherd’s pie, and Creamy Chicken & Leek. Even though they had not got any of those, I ordered, and they were all substituted. Morrison Cottage pie, by Kirsty’s red potato Cottage Pie (might be nice that?).

Not that I seemed bothered this time, the memory of the disastrous tsunami-wee-out now! Imagine that happening when I was out and about! The thought of it makes me shudder!

Haha! The fridge stocks are looking healthier now, anyway. Milk, bread in the freezer, I’ll certainly not starve for a bit.

Took this shot of the end car park through the balcony window. It was far too windy for me to open the window.

Oh, oh, I want another pee! With apprehension, I took it. Well, well well, what a difference that was! Heavy flow, but nothing oke as vicious as the last one was! I was delighted with the improvement and almost total lack of any pain. Shame about the lengthy PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

Views From The Kitchenette Window

I viewed the colourful evening skies,

Somehow they appeared to be wise,

And I observed clouds like eyes,

Winter’s coming; I’ll need to acclimatise!

The photo above, lips and two eyes, large in size,

Those clouds make me want to enigmatise?

I find myself also wanting to somatise,

Natures beauty makes me realise…

Mankind knows nothing, weather forecasts-wise,

I see amazing skies, from this flat in the highrise,

These views make me want to prioritise…

To stop, look, dream, and rhapsodise!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Hunger Pangs Satisfied

Made some cheesy instant mash potato and two beef pasties and plated them. Dolloped some Hickory Smoked BBQ sauce and a few slices of bread. A pot of custard & jelly (Classy, innit?), and another pot of lemon mousse. Nowt fanciful on that plate, but I ate the lot. Taste Rating 7.2/10.

Part Of The Nottingham Lads True Tales Of Woe Series

ODE TO SUNDAY 24th OCTOBER

ODD SNIPPETS OF LITTLE INTEREST

06:15hrs, I woke up, thinking something was weird… eerie,

Not knowing what it was, was annoying me…

Ah, that’s it; I didn’t want a wee-wee,

Well, this is a change, rare, causing infelicity,

I rose and pressed on with my best ability,

I spotted the foot rot on my bloated toes nails; that’s a pity!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

TOOK A BAD PHOTO OF THE VIEW

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MORNING CARER ARRIVED

Two carers came in, without ringing,

Team leader Natalie, and a new gal to me,

Her name was Cherie or Charlie.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

COMPUTERISATIONING

I was doing so well,

But it was stopped by the intervention…

By the dreaded Blue Screen.

What Is The Blue Screen Of Death? BSOD Explained.

Something about losing a memory configuration?

It did not receive my appreciation!

I responded by turning it off and making an absquatulation!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

TO THE KITCHENETTE

Niggled by the problems using Corel,

I got Josies’ meal prepped, then, Oh, hell!

Cutting the vegetables, as I usually do,

Carrots, water chestnuts and others too,

And getting them into Josies’ chilli stew,

Well, what do you think I did do?

Cut my finger, the bleeding didn’t last,

I put on an Elastoplast, but I reminded steadfast!

Got extra sauce made, added to Josies’ repast,

Stayed in the kitchen, so’s not to get sidetracked,

It worked at first, and that’s a fact…

It began to cook, smelling good, and I forecast…

This one might taste better than the last!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MADE A BREW OF GLENGETTIE TEA

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

JOSIES’ LUNCH DONE & DELIVERED!

I delivered it to  Josies’ door on time again, not late!

The gal seemed to like the look of and the smell on the plate,

No chance of her going to abrogate,

Hope she likes it, and it’s adequate!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

BACK TO THE KITCHENETTE

Taking the camera back, the Peripheral Neuropathy…

Shook the arm painfully, it does that  with aperiodicity,

Uncongenialy this time, heartily, with duplexity,

Muggins here dropped the camera; what a pain…

Caught it and droppsied it again!

Resulting in my taking two involuntary two photographs

Amazingly, they were better than when I intended to take them!

Hahaha!

Unfortunately, I took them on my way down to the floor!

I now have a very annoyingly slight bruise on the top of my head,

For only a little while,  blood it did shed,

I swore a smidge, and I had a rest, instead!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

EVENING NOSH MADE & IMBIBED

Cooked, and this is how it looked,

A substituted meal from Sainsbury’s again!

The taste was not too good either; it sucked!

Afterwards, I got stomach pains!

Maybe I’d over-cooked?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Part of the Nottingham Lads True Tales Of Woe – In Rhyme (Of sorts)

Moody Moon Machinationings

THOUGHT STORMS RAGE

After taking my regular waking up wee-wee,
I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea,
The clouds broke, and the moon I could see,
This cheered me, sort of kept me company,
The Thought Storms started, with verbosity!

Many a guilty, fearsome, scary, memory,
Happy events too, but not too many,
Like the first time I ever drank Drambiuie,
Four years old, and already drinking, I got tipsy,
Knowing no better, I sang, and got ditsy!
That was the extent of youth being glitzy!

No schooling, so for me, no university,
Then the guilt, thin as a rake, I tell thee…
Until I was about forty, then adiposity,
I drank and ate with great generosity,
Dieting became needed, and a necessity,
But I ignored this, with great pomposity,
I grew fatter, wobblier with sumptuosity,
So ashamed of my vast voluminosity!
Went bald in my twenty’s, but no toupee,

Seeking girls, I thought was my duty,
To get snogging them on the settee,
Kitchen, coal house, anywhere would do me,
Plump, skinny, brown-haired or a blondie,
I recall much pleasure and congeniality,
Often spoilt by my addiction to alcoholicity,
Sometimes I was lucky, finding edacity,
I recall Grizelda, big gal, great voracity,
We shared a perfect simultaneity!

Thoughts were rattling, am I going loopy?
They eased off, as I needed another pee,
One thing though, I can guarantee…
They’ll be back again, to torment me!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Part Of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme

Stuck In The Lift Ode

LIFT WOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP

THINGS GOT WORSERER!

Made redundant, for another job I applied,
I’ve done Nationwide deliveries before, I lied,
Naughty of me, not at all justified!
I fancied getting out and about Nationwide,
Room on the 12th-floor, Which would be wise?
Up by the stairs? No, the lift I did decide,
Into the cage all alone, nervous, not petrified…

The elevator shuddered to a halt, was it alright?
The panel gave a beep-beep, and flashing red light,
An hour later, I was in a pickle and plight,
Interview time had passed, but last night…
I made some sarnies, tomato and Marmite,
Tucked into them, and pondered as I might,
On the missed opportunity for the job…
That made me want to sob.

For desperate for a wee-wee was I ever so!
Another hour before they rescued me, though,
I needed that wee-wee first; I had to go!
Found a toilet, boy did the urine flow!
Searched for DHP offices high & low,

Aha, gorrit, and in I did go, with agusto,
Then found I had another problemo…
‘You’ve come to the wrong place, don’t you know!’
Smethwick you want, east of here you must go,
She tried to ring them, they were incommunicado,
‘They’ve likely all gone home,’ leaving me in limbo!

Trying to look dignified, back to my Triumph Toledo,
To look at the map… but oh, no no no!
A security guard saw it driven out by a fellow,
I called him a useless so and so!
There was this man, me, a saddo fatso…
Crying and screaming like a soprano… although,

I got another interview for the job, you know…
I didn’t get the job, of course, which is no curio!

Memories of Woes

Inchcocks First Accident On His Bike!

It’s A Funny Old World

Working out at Worksop,
At the Nottingham Co-op,
I nibbled chips and a rollmop,
Wanted to get home at the gallop,
To watch Hettie Winthrop,
Fog so thick, I couldn’t see the bus stop,
Avoided it on my bike, and I was off,
Traffic bad kept coming to a stop…
At the bend near the tuckshop,
Things were at a dead stop…
Kerbed it, bike went over the treetop,
Me down the hill,  in a mangled flop,
Later being found by a traffic cop,
Bloodied, shaking, all of a quop,
Officer took me to the cop shop,
I don’t want to name drop…
Yootha Joyce was there, drunk as a sop,
And this is not a codswallop!
She hiccuped and did a bellyflop!
To me, she was the cream of the crop!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

This is the actual bike before the Accifauxpas… Hehehe!

TTFNski!

Words Of Non-Wisdom from Inchcock

 Words of Non-Wisdom from Inchie

Life is no longer too healthful,

I rely on Carers being helpful,

I try not to be disrespectful,

Try to cope, be resourceful,

My daily struggles are continual,

Keeping aware and wakeful,

But it’s hard keeping to a schedule,

No point in moaning; I must be tactful,

Take medications to keep wakeful,

I’m overweight and not very graceful,

I’m common as muck; folk find this distasteful,

Teeth left? Not exactly a mouthful!

All the ailments should make me fearful,

But there’s no time to be tearful,

In fact, this morning, I felt cheerful!

The pretty Carers make me drool,

I know, I’m a romantic old fool,

Now past romancing, that is cruel,

If one adopts this grandad, that’d be cool!

Vascular dementia makes me so forgetful,

What day, time is it. I am very grateful…

When I get summat right, I’m joyful!

The medicationalisationing ritual,

Drives me out of my skull,

I feel I’ve had a belly-full!

Still, I’m practised in things medical,

Life can appear abstract, conceptual!

Occasionally, I feel almost useful,

 But that’s not often or usual,

But the thought of this is valuable,

It helps keep my depression tenable,

Although, now I’m much more abusable,

With PN then stroke, things are more droppable,

I tend to find myself dislikeable?

My ailments and faults are semi-camouflageable,

Most of them are incurable,

I’m growing ever more confusable,

Occasionally, I do something applaudable,

To some, this will sound contradictable,

Hard to be believable,

But the lost skills and abilities,

Are truly not retrievable,

Just press on, I find advisable,

Sometimes the unexpected is achievable,

Then again, I’m very deludable,

Some accifauxpas are just unavoidable,

Like as I type this, sadly horrible…

Virgin Internet down again, unforgivable!

Anger-making, sickening and arousable,

Liberty-Global – so hated and detestable!

What I think of L-G’s CEO Fries is unwritable!

Just noticed that this Ode is so Gawdawful?

I’ll stop now; Huh, it’s pitiful!

Integrative Inchy Thurs, 18th March 2021 Photos and Rhymes – Lockdown Escape!

INCHCOCK TODAY

Thursday 18th March 2021

Mayanmar (Burmese): ကြာသပတေးနေ့ 18 မတ်လ 2021

Health Checks

4Thu08

Escape From Lockdown

4Thu09.

Out through the lobby, on the ground floor,

Decorations? it could do with some more,

It’s not exactly, haute couture,

Off I went, in search of a natter for sure,

I suppose I’ll spend a lot, and come back poorer?

Get some food, that’s epicure!

Visited the Warden Julie, then I caught the bus,

Gossip at the bus stop, that gave me a rush,

To town and into Wilko, the staff were peed-off and deamur.

4Thu19c

Getting out was wearying, but grand!

But I forgot to buy a new toothbrush!

On to Poundland, a barren shelves, empty place,

I took my time searching, it was not a race,

Wandered around limping at a steady pace,

Many items I could not trace,

The basket filled up at a worrying pace!

I was glad to get out of the place!

4Thu11.

I limped to the Bargain Buys store,

To buy even more,

Saw my first Escooters, Cor!

Later on I see many more, as many as a score!

I went in the shop, empty shelves were less,

But items were dearer in there, I must stress!

Lovely lady on the till; I paid my bill!

4Thu12

Out to Trinity Square,

Even less tellurians around there!

Starving pigeons, came down,

All I could do was apologise and frown,

Poor things, it isn’t fair!

4Thu13

Down Kings Walk, nobody there,

To chat with, on my way to the Slab Square,

And happened, I have to share…

4Thu14

My first Pavement Cyclist, of the day,

He came from behind me,

I shouted out; ‘Hey!’

He just went on his way,

His approach I did not see,

The Git!

4Thu20

On King Street, more Escooters I did see,

I5 mph they can do, so they say,

But they park them anywhere, in the way!

Faster than disabled scooters, how I pray…

The disabled don’t get in their way!

I saw them on pavements and carriageway,

Footpaths, even in a shop doorway,

Still it’s summat that adults and kids can play!

4Thu15.

I hobbled, struggling with the overloaded trolley,

To Queen Street, having spent too much lolly,

getting everything on the bus, was a melee,

Cartilage Cathy, was getting painful, I must say!

4Thu16.

 I had to hold onto the trolly, every inch of the way,

Knowing Colin Cramps would later make me pay!

Later in the day,

I limped back to the block and flat, with bravery!

Cathy Cartilage and Colin Cramps bad, and feeling bladdery!

4Thu17.

Sorted out the purchases from the painful shopping spree,

The Wilko bag first, toothpaste, cleaners for me,

Oh, and anti-diahorrea capsule I see,

I got one them straight away!

4Thu18

Then the fortune spent at the Poundland store,

I couldn’t have carried any more!

Medications, to make me feel less sore,

Gonna use the Chilli & Salt tonight for sure,

Baked beans as well, I saw!

4Thu19

Then the Bargain shop bag was sorted,

Nothing exciting to be reported,

As I did this, Cathy Cartilage became detorted,

And twinges from Colin Cramps contorted!

IMG_6811

The baked beans and chilli seasoning went down very well.

The innards rumbled, oh, hell!

Trotsky Terence might be building as well?

Washed stripped, and as to can tell,

Into the recliner, I fell,

IMG_6816

One fat leg, one thin, one hard the other soft and weak,

Colin Cramps kicked off, Phorpained, enough for a week!

Repeated this several times, I felt overmeek,

Colin continued his hassle,

The chances of sleep, were rather bleak,

To our saviour, I did speak,

His reply to me, was all Greek,

Colin Cramps continued, painfully he did wreak,

For painlessness I did beseech, and seek,

When I moved, the cartilage did squeak,

I was aching tired and weak,

WDP A01c

Yet contented, so to speak!

I passed involuntary wind, and had a keek!

Impugner-Inchy, Sunday 7th March 2021 Dairy – Argh! Sundays!

♥ The TFZer Garden of Love ♥

Care Home Sports – Hehehe!

INCHCOCK TODAY

Sunday 7th March 2021

Greek: Κυριακή 7 Μαρτίου 2021

00:00hrs: I stirred after sleeping for five-hours, but they were broken ones, disturbed by repeated wakings up, silly thoughts and nodding off again! Tsk! And a feeling of doom and gloom lingered in my tortured brain! Likely due to the series of dreams I’d been having!

I  boldly heaved and puffed away, freeing my abdominous over-bellied aching body from the grotty, £300, second-hand, c1968, unsteady, not-working, incommodious, sickeningly beige-coloured, haemorrhoid-testing recliner, and rose up on my feet, to catch my balance. Argh! Both knees gave me pain; the right one, with Cathy Cartilage, was really keen and sharp! My hobbling was so slow and so carefully done after this. I realised and remembered then, the Morrison order delivered yesterday by the Amazon shopper! Me hobbling down to help him carry the stuff up to the flat. And the git just leaving all the bags in the front lobby of the building. The agony of all that walking and carrying brought thoughts of malice, hatred and revenge-seeking! Which soon dissipated, as I realised this is not my style! No matter how the chap treated me, hurt me, and caused me such discomfort, I must not lower myself to his and Amazon’s standards.

I was now feeling calmer in myself, although in pain still, thanks to the ignorant moron. (Whoops!) My mind was distracted (it does that a lot nowadays!), as the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived… and a gaseous one too, judging by the escaping bubbles of air (I hope!) from the rear-end. So, I made my way to the wet room with all available haste!

I’m so glad I didn’t hesitate; no sooner had the PP’s come down, the action started! Trotsky Terence’s revenge! Short, smelly, sticky, gooey… but no bleeding from anywhere at least! And just two flushes needed to free the bowl of the evacuated product! Mind you, I was amused to see after the second pull, bubbles continued to come back up from underneath the water in the porcelain for a few minutes. I took this photo of them, but they do not show up much on it. I swear I could hear a sort of gurgling noise as they came to the surface?

The cleaning up needed and medicating took me along time. Harold’s Haemorrhoids were very sore. A dollop of Phorpain gel was rubbed into the knees. And I realised that I had been sleeping, wearing the bamboo diabetic socks on last night! A ‘No-No’ that is! I pulled them down to see if the muscles in the leg had gone soft, and they really had! Naughty, Inchcock, stupid, Inchcock! I’m not going to bother to take them off now, though; I’ll do it later when I handwash them with the shirt. I do feel a fool – I’ve never done that before? I must have an advice notice somewhere about what to do if you do sleep in the hosiery. I recall getting one from the neurologist at the Mary Potter clinic? I may have to get help in searching for it, Hehe!

I went through to put the kettle on and a wash-up… Unglefrogwogglings & Thunderbogworthyness Idiot! I’d left the hot water tap running again! Stone cold! I’ll miss doing this when I snuff it! Hehehe! But I was so angry with myself!

Instant Ode assembled: I made a brew to drink and stew, but what can I do? Doomed, I will be! Deaf, can’t hear running water and cannot wee-wee! In pain and pissed-off with me! I’m a social outcast, an old logicality-abortee! Not a good rhyme, but it flowed out easily enough at the time!

I nipped out on the balcony to take a shot of the view. But the Canon camera does no do night shots very well, as you can see with the results of my photographicalisationing!

I’m not sure what I changed on the camera or how I did it if I did. But the ratio came out different to the usual wide mode? As I checked on the selector on the camera, SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) had a go at me, and I turned the dial, so I could not identify which option I’d selected. Not that many of them mean anything to me.

I returned to make the brew of Glengettie tea, passed wind, considered if I needed to return to the Throne, decided not, and got the Health Checks done. At least these photos came out in the proper ratio-shape?

The body temperature was 36.4°c – 97.5°f, but I cannot access the Excel log record because Microsoft was updating again and wouldn’t give me access!

I think it was better than yesterday, anyway.

The Boots Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China, worked for the first time today. Revealing a high SYS of 170, SIA at 80, and the Pulse down to 85.

I got on with updating the Saturday Diary, not that much needed doing. I soon had it all finished.

I went to the NHS BP site and input my figures. Oh, dearie me! Way-up in the red today!

Today my BP was well in the red!

Perhaps, I might be dead?

I wish someone had said! Hehehe!

Hopefully, a nurse should be calling on Monday to take my Warfarin blood test; I can point it out to her if she’s not too busy.

No chance of getting through to the Doctor… well, I might, but I only get recorded messages about Covid. Then, the ringing tone, followed by another recorded message telling me they are getting an extraordinarily high volume of calls, please ring back later!

I know, I’ll ask them to bury me with a printout of the HP figures, providing Microsoft will allow them access, then they can read them too late to save my life, the high numbers involved? Good idea? Oh, damn! I’m being cremated, ain’t I! Hahaha! It’s such a warm, comforting feeling, knowing one is so cared for in one’s dotage and psychoneurosis years, innit?

Then, I emailed the link for the diary off. Pinterested some photos and went on Facebooking catching-up. I started sneezing repeatedly, and a few shivers went through me. Hello, what’s going on here? 

Then, I visited the WordPress Reader Section. This post was incredible; here is the link:

https://offcenternoteven.com/2021/03/06/ghost-mousies-in-the-sky/

An excellent parody song on this one. And a link to an older one, too; cleverly performed! You should like both of these, for the tune and Spunk, the pussy cat antics with a mouse!

https://photos.tandlphotos.com/blog/2017/9/spunk-fought-the-mouse-and-the-mouse-won. 

I went on the WP comments reading and answering.

Soon be time for the Ablutions to be done, I’ll have a mug of Glengettie tea and a nibble, methinks.’

Ablutions: A remarkably calm, almost injury-free session. Fewer dropsies than usual! Nasal, teeth cleaning, even the shaving was cut-free! The showering smooth and safe. The medicating went just as well. However, getting dressed proved painful! Only two accifauxpas (but they felt like dozens!) Hehe!

Getting the socks on, I actually felt proud of not using Sock-Glide-Glenda. But wish that I had afterwards! Two tumbles, one for each sock! Stopping the bleeding from the hip where I hit on my way down took a while and much medicating. The left-leg fiasco had me going backwards and sliding slowly down the door! Harold’s Haemorrhoids were not pleased in the least! Ah, well! Oh, the sleeping in the bamboo socks had left me with some new blotches. The old ankle-ulcer wound was itching like mad! So, I put 100% cotton socks on today. Cathy Cartilage looked a bit temperamental, too! No wonder she’s giving me such jip!

I made a start on prepping Josie’s meal. Tomatoes, cheesy mashed potatoes as she likes them with plenty of Leicester cheese, well-buttered. And some Scottish Kippers with butter. A blotch of her favourite cheese, unopened so she can eat it anytime. A limoncello and strawberry dessert, and delivered it to her door. I wobbled a bit with the tray as I sneezed and spilt some butter from the kippers onto the tray as the gal opened the door. She was not impressed with me. Also, when I got back, I’d forgotten to photograph the meal! Ah, well, you can’t win em all!

I got in and sorted the eight black and blue bin bags. Then, I got them on the box with the others on the walker-trolley and off to the waste room. It was a deathly-quiet Sunday routine. But to perk things up a little, I trapped a finger in the cast-iron chute lid. I swore mildly and then returned to the apartment.

I got the handwashing done, only two pairs of long bamboo socks, and hung them above the kitchen sink to drip dry.

I moved the leek and potatoes from the crock-pot into a saucepan on the hob. They smelt good! Then got a ring-pull can of Stewed Steak, but as usual, things don’t go right for me very often! The ring-pull came away from the can! On the label, do not open this can with a can opener, hand or automatic – Use the ring-pull for access! Well, that advice was crap, then! I tried it nervously on the auto-opener, of course, but it didn’t work; the ridge was far too high for the blade. Now, what do I do?

I tried again at an angle; and was not sure if I’d drop the can, machine or both, but it worked somehow. This was mainly due to the respite from SSS (Shuddering Shoulder Shirley) and NN (Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters). I went into a bit of Smug-Mode! Then poured the contents into the saucepan and added Best Bisto Gravy granules and an Oxo cube to the mix. Gave it jolly good stirring, and after a while, I had a taste… Not bad at all!

I gave Sister Jane, well, husband Pete, a ring. I felt sure it was this week that he had to go back to the hospital for a conference meeting with the doctor. Thought I’d cheer him up a bit first. But no, I was wrong again. It was Sister Jane’s turn this week! So I had a chinwag with her, but it was a farcical effort; we both seem to have hearing problems now. Hehe! Wished her well for the Doctors visit and chatted about nothing that mattered. But I enjoyed it, all the same.

Then I tried to get a slot with Sainsbury’s for next Thursday or Friday. But they only some free on Wednesday 10th March. I got an early one, 7>8am. Made the order and decided to start sorting my own meal out.

All the time and effort was well worth it. Although I spent a long time cleaning the pans first, it was still hot enough when it came to eating them. All it was, was a well season pot of canned stewed steak, potatoes and leeks. A flavour-rating of 8.8/10!

I put the pots and tray in the sink to soak overnight and settled to watch something on the TV. Ah, I remember now, it was ‘Kitchen Nightmares’.

The sleep soon came, but it was a sad night again; I was forever seeming to wake up, with dim memories of a terrible dream, but could recall nothing, other than the sensation that I was young again during the nightmares. I think they may have been repeating ones? Maybe not, though.

Irritating Inchie, Saturday 16th January 2021 – Diary

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Saturday 16th January 2021

Finnish: Lauantaina 16 Tammikuuta 2021

01:35hrs: I slowly stirred back into life, of sorts. A sudden, almost panic began, from somewhere I thought that something was wrong in the kitchen! No smells, I don’t think. I struggled out of the c1968 recliner, and I limped to the kitchenette but found nothing untoward, and I had a good look around, windows shut, taps not running… was it a dream?

I was not properly balanced, so I took my time and returned to the main junk room. Thought were coming pretty fast into the brain, but leaving at the same rate of knots.

I got my Myanmar, (Burmese) made zip-up jacket on. Changed into the reading glasses, had a weak wee-wee, washed my hands, and started the Health Checks. The Chinese made Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer reading was fine, at 36.6°c.

♫ I really can’t stay, Baby it’s cold outside, I gotta go away, Baby it’s cold outside, This evening has been, Been hoping that you’d dropped in, So very nice, I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice ♫… Sorry about that, I got carried away!

Pleasingly, the Chinese manufactured Boot’s Sphygmomanometer SYS was not too high compared to earlier readings, at 156. And, the pulse was steady at 85.

I nipped back into the kitchen to get a made-up bottle of spring water and lime cordial.

I opened the window, Gawd it was cold out there… (♫ I really can’t stay, Baby it’s cold outside, I gotta go away, Baby it’s cold outside, This evening has been, Been hoping that you’d dropped in, So very nice, I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice ♫…) Sorry about that, I got carried away!☺

I snapped this photograph of Chestnut Way’s car park in front of the building, below. Back to the computer, taking another weak-wee-wee en route, and back on the computer.

I determinedly pressed on with the updating of the Friday Diary. Got it finished, although it took me longer than usual with interruptions to Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, on and off repeatedly for periods of a few seconds, up to a full minute. But I resisted going into a Smug-Mode, after yesterday’s experiences.

All done at long last Hurrah!), then I posted it off to WordPress, emailed the link. Had a weak wee-wee, washed, returned and Pinterested some bits, and went on the Facebooking updating on the TFZ site, then the Woodthorpe Heights. Spent a good while on there, and went on the WordPress-Reader section. Had a weak-wee-wee. Washed my hands and went on the WP commenting.

Belatedly, I made a start on this post. Stopped to make a brew, have a weak-wee-wee, wash my hands, and took the morning medications (It was grand to be able to take an extra pain-killer, thanks to the unknown, kind donor, who posted some through my door yesterday, thanks again!)

I got an inspiration to write the Advice funny at the top of this page, well, second graphic down. I made it up and did it with a graphic. It’s nowhere near my best work, but for some reason, I found it so zanily humorous, so kept it in. I hope people like it and get a laugh. If anyone does, I’ll offer it to the Tate Gallery for a modest fee. Hahaha!

I lost a lot of time already with my getting sidetracked, but did it again, and went on a hunt for Alt codes to use. I found a few and put them on the Notepad for later.

Hello, some more comments have come in, I’ll have a decker. Just the two, replied to them and went to make another mug of tea, and had another weak-wee-wee! I reckon I’ve missed a Furesomide in the medicational muddle?

I then went on CorelDraw to get some template graphics done, I’m well behind with them. Crockledimdogs! Another visit to the wet room, Blimus!

Back to CorelDrawing, and within a minute into working, and the door chimes rang out.

It was the postman, bringing the Amazon sold razors. A box of 200 razors in packs of five. Outstanding value, too.

Back to the CorelDrawing.

: Having done only one graphic, CorelDraw Problems, or rather, I created CorelDraw problems! Or, maybe a more accurately, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters caused me CorelDraw problems! I lost the document palette! The nerve ends died as I was trying to move the palette, and I lost it altogether. I was getting more and more frustrated, I could not remember how to move palettes with the mouse, spent hours trying this and that in the options and customisation sections, getting nowhere with it.

Sister Jane

Then the landline burst forth flashing. Sister Jane, calling. I took this photo a couple of years ago of her, in the Nottingham Slab Square.

We had a long chinwag, ashamedly I could not concentrate properly with worrying about the CorelDraw problems. I learnt what I was doing wrong, as is natural when she calls me, Big Sister, you see. (Hahaha!) I

was eating the wrong foods, going to bed too early, and other things I can’t remember, 

In the morning, I added this photo of her and Pete’s visitors in their garden. A family of Squirrels that have taken up residence nearby. They call twice every day for their treats on monkey nuts.

Back to the nightmare with the computer. I went on the web asking for help, and it took me three hours of differently formulated questions, to find a DVD that helped with the problem. Another hour of farting about getting it wrong, and suddenly I got the palette back, but it was empty!

I lost more time trying to sort this out and gave up. I was frustrated, and so wee’d off! And the weariness was coming on.

I gave up on computing, my hopes and plans destroyed! Ah, well, I turned off the computer and got some nosh sorted out. As I got the Ghilli-Con-Carne, red peppers and tomatoes in the saucepan, oh dearie me…

All of the Peripheral Neuropathy related ailments all kicked-in, well not all of them. No leg dancing, loss of balance but SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley), Shaking Shaun, and Cathy Cartilage gave me what for!

A nasty bout, this one, but thank goodness it was a short one. I was growing more tired than ever now. But I pressed on and got the meal served up. I overdid the quantity a bit, and couldn’t eat all of the rolls, but destroyed the CCC and potatoes. A taste-rating was a worthy 8/10.

Washed and got the jammie-bottoms on, and down in the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, and turned on the TV, I can’t remember what it was I was going to watch, but I failed to anyway – blissfully! Off into the land of Sweet Morpheus, I drifted in no time at all. Zzzz!

An hour or so later, I sprang wide-awake, as if I’d just had an electric shock! The realisation that the Prescriptions were being delivered today bounding about in my head! Sheer alarm and panic gripped my and hastened by the bulbous wobbly body from the recliner, with the intentions of getting to the front door post-haste to see if they had been put through the door for me, as it was well past the normal delivery time.

Unfortunately, as I got in the hallway, I instead hastened down on my knees to the floor, and the right leg knee, (Cartilage Cathy’s) gave way. There was no time for self-pitying, I hauled my enormous girth back up onto my feet…

And I crumpled down again! This time, I crawled into the wet room and dolloped a load of Phorpain gel all around the patella. Then used the shower chair to get my bulk back up on my feet again. All the time, worrying about the prescriptions milling about in my head.

I got to the flat’s door, there was not anything outside or inside medicine wise. Had he or she been and left? Will they be coming later? I put the facemask on, in case anyone did come, and thought I’d check the mobile and email to see if the chemist had been and had sent a message… Panicking a bit here, but still found time to fit a spot of nervousness in about the CorelDraw problem! Come one worry – Come all! Hehe!

Moments later, the intercom rang out, it was Carrington Pharmacy owner, Deepak BSc Pharm Hons, delivering my prescriptions for me. For once, thank heavens he was late, else I might have been asleep otherwise, Phew! He dropped the prescription pack in a box, on the floor for me, and I thanked him. Nice to be told I was not looking very well. Hehehe! Bless him.

Once I took them to the kitchen to sort out, I realised that Cathy Cartilage was really giving me some stick, although it was my own fault for falling on her twice! Flibbledonkackles!

Ah, well, life may not be exactly suant, and I may be in pain, CorelDraw is worrying me, but after a quick Silver-Lining Search: Things could be much worse. I got the prescriptions delivered, Cathy Cartilage is already getting less painful, I had a marvellous CCC for dinner, Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna have both been kind to me today. Yep, things are good! Who am I kidding!

Back down in the recliner, it took a while, but sleep did return.

Inchcock’s Escape from Lock-down, No.7, to town. Pictographically

Nervously, I departed, my beloved Woodthorpe Court,

Wondering, if I really ought,

But off I poddled, my expectancies at nought,

Taking my quandaries, feeling relatively taut,

My nerves on edge and tension straught!

The bus-ride was painful and tense, oh, golly!

Feet under the wheels as brakes,

As I sat holding the trolley,

Then I got the nervous shakes,

Sure I would overspend my lolly!

Got to town, and nearly got ran over,

Cold, I wished I’d put on an extra pullover,

A van nearly hit me, moreover,

I swore at the man to show I was no pushover!

I made my way to the Poundsaver store,

Searching for milk tubs, Frazzles and more,

The knee gave way, and I ended up on the floor,

Some ladies, got me up, Gawd I was sore,

They had milk, but I got Frazzles & more,

Paid and left, with a bank balance more, poor!

I had a walk around the City Centre,

Limping now, I felt even ancienter,

The coffee shops looked full, but I’m not a frequenter,

Then one of the Pavement cyclist’s flew by,

If I could, I’d have given him a smack in the eye!

I never saw a policeman. I wonder why?

It looked like rain in the sky,

So I went inside, to keep myself dry!

The Exchange arcade, it was barren of folk,

So many retailers, closed-down, a pig-in-a poke,

Rent £78,000 per annum, it’s no joke,

Service Charge £17,144, what lady or bloke,

Who can afford this? No wonder they’ve gone broke!

The drizzle hadn’t come, so out I went,

Some time in Slab Square, I spent,

Street sleepers, yobboes, arguing, but no police sent,

My frustrations I wanted to vent,

The knee hurting, my money spent,

Getting home to Codeines was my intent!

To the Queen Street bus-stop,

Struggling with my purchases from the shop,

On to the L9 bus I did hop,

Well, struggled, and into the seat did flop,

I was so glad when we got to the Winwood Heights stop!

I alighted the bus, well, fell off of it,

I did feel a right twit!

No injuries, I felt tired, but quite fit,

Off to Woodthorpe Court, I did flit!

Not a soul in sight, for a talk,

So I struggled along Chestnut Walk,

No much thinking en route, the brain had lost its torque!

Into the decorative, welcoming lobby, I did walk!

I tooketh a photo, getting into the lift,

Can’t be accused today, of being a spendthrift!

I’d bought some pressies and a Christmas gift,

I was feeling proud, not peeved or tift,

For once, my thoughts were not all adrift,

There weren’t any at all if you get my drift?

I’d seen folk arguing, and one shoplift,

And yet, I didn’t feel in the slightest miffed!

Frazzled, I’m glad to say – Yes! Hehehe!