Inchcockski – Monday 3rd August 2020: I used to have Atychiphobia, but not anymore, I’m used to it now!

 End of Sunday catch-up

I got an impulse, after the earlier dream I’d mentioned, and made an ode, a funny one, about last weeks nightmare. I hope it goes down well, I’ve not done a funny rhyme for a while now. Got it done and posted off to WordPress, then Emailed the link.

Then, I realised I had not yet posted the Sunday blog! Moronic mentally malingering man, I am! So I rechecked it again then sent that one off to be published. It was suddenly nearly midnight.

I went on Facebooking catch-up, until nearly 01:00hrs.

I was most disappointed to hear loud knocking again, clunking noises from the flat above at 00:50hrs. I was as near to genuinely angry as is possible! But soon thought, well it might not have been intentional. Hope he’s not collapsed, but the noise was so much a thud, somewhat metallic. I reckon he’ll be okay. Never mind.

Had a look at what is on the TV, As usual, I wore my headphones so I will not disturb any of my neighbours.

Sweet Morpheus was not interested again, so I got settled down to watch some TV. Law & Order UK.

02:30hrs, dropped off to kip as the episode was about ¾ of the way through. At blooming last!

TFZer Film Star lads?

Monday 3rd August 2020

Italiano: Lunedì 3 Agosto 2020

A’morning to you!

06:40hrs: I slowly regained an ersatz appreciation of what was around me. I was droopy-eyed, Anne Gyna was giving me some walloping stabs.

I was more muddle-headed than usual, I stirred, in need of a wee-wee! Got the four-pronged stick, and rose to my full 5′-2″ height, nearly tripped over a slipper (No idea why, or how it got there).  Then I utilised the Grey-Bucket, to take a WOPT (Weak-Orange-Painful-Trickling) mode wee. Followed by the traditional nowadays, Post Micturition Dribble, but I am now aware of this problem, and always try to remember to wait a while after the evacuation, in case of a delay in the after-dripping starting, just in case, like. I’ve been caught out before, you know! Tsk! Long-Live the PPs!

Off to the kitchen to get the Health Checks and medications sorted out. I took a couple of sky photographs first, through the thick-framed, impossible for an aged, disabled person to get to clean, windows.

Not sure about whether or not the sphygmomanometerisationing results were good or not, with the DIA being so high?

Got the medications taken. And, my being in a rare industrious frame of mind, I got on the computer to make up a template for tomorrow, first. I achieved this with relative ease. (Superior-Smug-Mode-Engaged!)

As I started on this blog, my usual luck returned, and the Superior-Smug-Mode dissipated rather quickly!

My spirits sank! I felt wrangled and annoyed! But, there was no time for sulking, as the innards stabbed at me, and it was suddenly and abruptly, time for a rush to the wet room for the Porcelain Throne!

Nope, failed again! A rock-solid lack of movement! With twinges that made me fear of leaving for a while, just in case it what it did yesterday, and suddenly freed itself! Still, the crossword book kept me entertained while I waited and hoped.

But no activity. So I decided to get the ablutioning done instead, then if things activated, at least I would be close to the Throne in readiness! And also, be ready for the Sainsbury order arrival! And Liberty-Global disaster of an imitation, pretend internet service, could wait for me for once! Grrr!

It was late enough now, for me to have a proper shower, which is what I think of Liberty-Global, who pay their top man Mike Fries $19m a year, plus bonuses!

With my mind stewing over things, somehow there was no real damaging Whoopises or Accifauxpas suffered?

Plenty of dropsies, of course, that will never cure itself, and Nicidemus’s Neurotramitters will only get worse, the medics told me. So, at least I know what’s coming, which is a far better situation than many people find themselves in.

And the pins were not so pale! But thinner than for years?

I did have a close-call losing my balance, as I was leaving the wet room, but managed to control the lurch-to-the-right for once! I might go back into a Smug-Mode, now! Hehehe!

I got dressed and returned to the computer. But it was slow going and hard work! Most frustrating.

I took a snap from the swivel chair through balcony as the day lightened a little.

An hour or so later, the intercom rang out Dusty Springfield’s “I only want to be with you!” It was the Sainsbury’s order arriving. Not a lot of it, but still enough to cost me £40.92! I got the bags in the kitchen and sorted out the products I’d bought.

A decent selection to go into the fridge, one item for the freezer, which was a pack of Smoked Haddock fishcakes. Might be tasty?

I gt some Surimi Royals, my favourite of all the brands. But for today, I bought a ready-made BLT sandwich, to which I plan to add, egg mayonnaise, more tomatoes and a Hovis Sourdough Muffin, with Marmite on it! Of course, I may change my mind, it has been known. Haha!

Gawd, what a plonker I am! I’d left the tap running, and now had no hot water! Twittleworthy-Idiot! But I’m glad I did the ablutions early!

As I made a brew of Thompsom Punjana tea, I took three photographs of the now darkening sky. These clouds still looked beautiful to me, though.

I took the tea with me back to Computer Cameron and found that the untrustworthy, incompetent, unreliable, skittish, maladroit, deficient, Liberty-Global, Virgin Media Internet, was still so slow!

Not that it gets to, or bothers me, much. Ahem! Hahaha!

I sent off an order from Iceland for the weekend. They may have some of the new kitchen towels in stock this time. It’s booked to come om Friday 7th, twixt 08:00 > 10:00hrs.

Butterfingers above me keeps dropping something heavy again, judging by the noise. !

The Internet’s still very slow and jumpy-jerky. So I made up some waste sacks and added them to recycling wite bag. 

The plan is, I can drop the rubbish bags down the waste chute, then take the big white one down to the bin. And have a wobble up Chestnut Walk, and call on Desktop Dancer, Obergruppenführeress Warden Deana, and Julie at Winwood Court. I need to talk to someone, it doesn’t matter what about! I’m going stir-crazy! Humph!

So I got the three-wheeler loaded up, and out into the hallway to go to the lift lobby.

Aha, that’s naughty! Someone had wedged open every external fire door! Decorators I imagine, but there were none in sight anywhere.

I got to the chute room and deposited the three small bags. Then back to the lift, and waited patiently. Got down and went through the caretakers’ passage and out to the bin, and left the bag next to it.

The weather seemed to be turning windy, and more cloudy as I progressed towards Winwood Court.

I got in, and they were busy, so I read the notices on the board while waiting.

We’ve lost another tenant, a nice lady as well. That did my spirits no good.

I called at the office with the paperwork but forgot all about leaving it. PPPlonker!

As I departed to go back to Woodthorpe Court, the rain threatened even-more, the clouds grew darker!

When I arrived at my building, I took a photo upwards of the fats, and I reckon it was even darker then!

I got the elevator easily enough, and I went back into hibernation in the flat.

Herbert’s tap-tapping continued, with the odd, louder Clunk or thud. I’d love to know what he’s making?

I made a brew and took the medications. Then  I started updating this blog again. The internet was so slow, it was a grind, not a pleasure! Grobbleknangles!

From heaven knows where a blinding headache started! I have sufficient everyday ailments without this! Tsk!

I turned the slow-internet computer off and started to make the cold nosh that I’d planned earlier, but had to divert to the wet room rather swiftly, to the Porcelain Throne!

Another false alarm! I’m getting slightly fed-up. Haha! Not really, I’ve resigned to the internet problem’s not going to get any betterer. The headache behind the eyes is a natural thing, time might heal it. I’ll put up with Herbert’s noise as well. But only because I can do nothing about them!

Back later, I hope.

I’ back! Having made and digested my evening meal.

 The BLT sarnie, gherkins, egg mayonnaise, tomatoes, red grapes, twp sourdough muffins with Marmite, for the main course. Oh, and a bag of Marmite crisps as an aside. An apple, a pot of Limoncello dessert. Flavour Rating: 7.2/10 for this effort.

Dizzy Dennis finally eased-off a bit, and the headache too. I put on a DVD to watch, Auf Wiedersehen Pet, the last movie. It didn’t last long, for Sweet Morpheus arrived, and off I nodding. Ahhh! 

I woke four-hours later. For some reason, the room light was on? The TV was still on, the remote control for the DVD was resting in the folds of my stomach, snug as a bug! Signs of Nocturnal Nibbling were spread about, unidentified crumbs on my chest, legs and on the carpet at my feet. Cheese waker crumbs were spread further afield, as far as the GPEB (Grey-Plastic-Emergency-Bucket)

I lay gathering some mental control and understanding, and the demand for the Porcelain Throne arrived, along with left-hand side chest pains,  under the shoulder stabbing at me. Anne Gyna, I hope, and not any new ailment! But she doesn’t usually attack me under the armpit chest area. A smidge disconcerting.

I rose from the c1968 recliner, caught my balance and off to the wet room, surprisingly agility. (Agility may be too strong a word, Haha!)

I got there in plenty of time, and the agony began! A painful, long, drawn-out evacuation and struggle to bear the wicked hurt, as the control of the motion was not under my control, but the innards. Not much bleeding, but Harold’s Haemorrhoids stung like hell! In fact, so much pain, I feared my next visit!

A wash-up and medicationalisational activities carried out, a brew of Glengettie tea made. Then I booted up Computer Cameron. To update this blog, and get it sent-off to WordPress.

I got the kettle on.

Inchcock – Wednesday 29th July 2020: Warning: This contains an X-Rated Ablutionalisationing Report!

TFZer Keith, Modelling

Wednesday 29th July 2020

Welsh: Dydd Mercher 29ain Gorffennaf 2020

I’m writing from 2030hrs last night. At last, after much harassment and many botherations, thanks to Jenny, I eventually got some nosh made (See right – A delight). 

And what a nosh it was. Despite my being knackerated, in state of body and mind, I gladly ate it all up! Chinese belly pork, baked beans flavoured with BBQ seasoning and tomato puree, and mushrooms, some milk roll bread, made a fruit salad of sorts, and raspberry ripple mousse. Taste Rating: 8/10.

Left pots to soak in the sink, and dived down into the recliner in search of Sweet Morpheous. But I think I must have been over-tired or something, cause it was ages before I got off. Tsk!

03:20hrs: I woke with a start, talk about confused, the mind was indeed not working very well. Maybe I’d had an odd dream, though I cannot recall having one. No matter what day is it, for a moment I had to concentrate on who I was! It was a cringe-worthy few moments before the brain engaged properly. (Well, I say properly, hehehe!)

Just as things were mentally settling, the dreaded ‘Inner-Gurgling’ started, and I had to make my way to the wet room ASAP, stumbling along with the stick, en route I blamed last night’s meal. I’ve never had Diahorrea-Duncan so bad in my life! After thunderingly flopping on the seat, the evacuation began immediately, almost liquid, and it felt so uncomfortable. Eugh! The tummy ache got worse after the session had finished! I’m getting a little wee’d-off with the ever-changing motions of late. And, all the cleaning up and medicating after the event. Even after waiting so long for completions, it was like a dripping tap, the wee-weeing continued with the PMAD (Post-Micturition After-Dribble). I dread to think how long I was in there for. But hope lies ahead, faith will not be lost, my mission will continue, and progress will be made! I’ve not got the foggiest idea what I’m talking about, here?

Off to the kitchen! Washed last night’s pots, then the kettle on and tried again to take a decent shot of the morning view, but I’m not doing well recently with these shots. Still, it was no worse than yesterday’s early morning efforts, or was it? Hehe!

As I was getting the Health-Check stuff out of the drawer, a combination of Nicodemus’s neurotransmitters failing, and an untimely short spell of Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley arrived. The thermometer and tablet-pods ended up on the floor! The stick thermometer would not work, I’m hoping it needs a new battery, as opposed to my having broken it all together. No longer works! Groggleknockers!

The HP readings were fine enough. I used the new thermometer to take the temperature, but it wasn’t having of it at all? The screen flashed, and a few indefinable odd dots flashed. Methinks I’ve now broken both of the thermometers? Globblegripes!

Made a brew of Extra strong Assam tea, and started the updating of this post. Oh, I got an email from Iceland!

And a long job it turned out to be, Nicodemus and Shirley seemed to have allied themselves, to ensure I have plenty of hassle, mistake-making, ever-correcting, and a frustrating time doing the blog! Grrr!

Off to get the ablutions done, with Iceland coming with my hastily placed order. (Morrisons I know had just delivered yesterday, but Morrisons did not have any egg mayonnaise, so I ordered some from Iceland), and the Amazon ‘bamboo diabetic socks’ are coming, I had to get the washing up done early. But it was too early to use the shower, the noise might disturb my neighbours. Off to the wet room poddled!

AblutionalisationingFor over Eighteens only X-rated Report

  • One tiny cut shaving, but a devil of a job to stop bleeding! Tsk!
  • A disappointing session this one was. It started with me hitting my left shoulder against the door frame as I entered the room! The left, not the right? A Great Start! 
  • Broke the blue toothbrush! That did Toothache Thomas a lot of good!
  • I’ve no idea how long it took me to find the pack of four I knew I had somewhere, but when I did find it, after going into two rooms in search, it was on the trolley on my left, on the shelf below the toothpaste! No idea how I missed it for so long! Grumbleconfusement!

By now, I’d spent such a long time in there, I was so late, I could use the shower now. So not all bad!

  • I was doing well, so nicely,  until I was cleaning my rear-quarters, and set off Harold’s Haemorrhoids bleeding! It reminded me that old American Noir film with blood in the shower, but I can’t remember the name of it, stabbed in the shower, oh, I’ll look it up later
  • I turned up the power on the shower, to wash away the blood away, but it kept coming. Oh, dearie me! 
  • So, I just kept spraying it down the drain at regular intervals. Bad, this! 
  • The good news is that I went through the whole long episode without dropping the shower-head once!
  • Did well in the freshening-up and medicating departments. The new Clobetasone cream was really useful in stopping the bleeding. It stung a bit, like! 
  • Getting dried without any problems, then getting dressed, as I was battling to get the PP’s on, over I went. All the fault of Shaking Shaun, and his inexpediently timed visit! Argh! 
  • I stayed down for a minute, to assess any damage I might have done to my Herculean-like, trim, muscled, young firm body.  (Ahem!)
  • Everything that had taken place during this mammoth ablution session paled into the ether. For after a look, sensing and a feel around, the only damage I could find was Arthur Itis’s left knee had been put out, and that snapped back as I rose from the floor, using the shower chair’s assistance. I was Mega-Superduper-Lucky there! A ginormous Smug-Mode grew!

Obviously, I was limping badly for a few minutes, but my spirits had grown, for some reason. Most likely by yours truly, having such good fortune? I was tickled-pink! And the legs and plates were looking so good! Well, apart from Arthur’s left patella.

Now, I was singing to myself as I went to the kitchen, and got the kettle on!

Got on the computer, and not long later, the intercom buzzed, it was the Iceland chap arriving. Naturally, when I pressed the top button, saw who it was, and pressed the bottom open-door button, the screen went black! Always some problem with this hard to hear, unreliable system! Tsk!

I told the chap about the intercom, not being awkward to use, unable to hear it, and it kept going blank when I try to let someone in. The chap said no-end of folks tell him the same. He obligingly left the bags in the doorway for me.

I took them through to the kitchenette, for sorting and checking, and found some errors had been made. Not the 18 medium eggs in place of six eggs, but in my rushing to get an order in so I could get the mayonnaise eggs, I’d got a few things misconstrued!

You see on the right, is a white bottle, which I to have ordered, and it was meant to be the same size as the pink, nearly empty one? I tried to work out why I should buy a £10 120 wash bottle of the Ylang 4.20 L Surf? The one I have is a 47 wash 1645ml one costing me £4.50, and that’s lasted me for months! Where do you start working out which the better value? Litres and Miliitres, too confusing for my arithmophobia and dyscalculia! I was grand with £.s.d, pints, fluid ounces and inches! Of course, since the stroke, there have been extra problems like this.

I got the flour for Jenny in a bag, and split the substitutes big box of eggs with her, and put a bag of white cobs in it. Then got the waste bags made up, and filled the three-wheeler with them. So much easier walking with the trolley, (but not on the buses too many moans about being in the way, Tsk!)

I phoned Jen to let her know I was going down with the flour. And set off to the rubbish chute with the bags. I couldn’t carry the food bag as well, so after depositing the waste in the chute, I nipped back to collect it. Then to the lift lobby.

The wait was not too long to get a lift, but while I was waiting, the Constructors only lift arrived, and a woman got out? Down the Jenny’s, had a little natter, Jen gave me monies for the flour, swapped cheerios, and back to the lifts.

And another lady got out of the constructors-only cage? These Covid-19 safety rulings are not being adhered to at all by some!

I wonder if the Coronavirus is for real, has sank-in yet? Ah, well, who am I? That’s a good question, I’ll try to find an answer later. Hehehe!

I got back inside the flat, and checked on the potatoes on the slow-cooker, and began to shell some peas. There I was, happy and contented a lark, the sunshine coming through the lethal new windows, and I basked in it for a few minutes, while I shelled the garden peas, dinking the mug of tasty Thompsons Punjabi tea, and dreaming of the betterer days, now gone.

I must have something about shelling peas, a distant memory of happier times perhaps? I certainly didn’t need to through all the painful experience of doing the fresh peas. Not with my supply of canned garden peas! Haha! My fearfully short moment of joy and contentment ended.

When I added some of the sugar, I’d bought from Morrisons into the saucepan. And realised I had not bought demerara, but caster sugar? Well, fancy that! Me, getting summat wrong! I bothered Jenny by ringing her up, and asked her if it was alright to use this different sugar? She explained that Castor, or Caster sugar, is standard sugar ground up more finely. I thanked her.

Then I asked myself a serious question; “How come you managed shops for Tesco and the Co-op for all those years, all that stocktaking, cash handling, and balancing the millions of trading stamps every Saturday night, and have actually forgotten what Caster sugar was?

My earlier elation dissipated a little further, as I knew the answer. I am losing it. Becoming affected or infected, with presenile dementia? The stroke didn’t help. Fast cometh to me, the old-timers disease, Alzheimer’s maybe? Nobody seems bothered, and I must be going potty because I’m not bothered either! Well, not at this moment I’m not.

What can one do? It’s obvious, put the kettle on again for a brew, back to Glengettie Gold this time. I spent a couple of minutes worth of nephelococcygia, and I spotted a helmeted face in the clouds. Tetched the camera to take a snap… Could I find the face again? Nope!

I set about emailing the link for yesterdays blog. (Better late than never. But I’ve had a busy day losing the plot!)

I got a Nottingham News Email, this was in it: Across Nottinghamshire and the city, the data shows varied rates across the seven local councils and Nottingham – with some regions registering increases and others seeing a drop in cases. The most notable area, is Bassetlaw, with the number of confirmed Covid-19 cases per 100,000 people more than doubling from 6.0 to 14.5 in the last seven days.

I got the oven on, it’s getting past my usual head-down time already!.

Aha, the intercom sounded off! It was the Amazon diabetic winter socks arriving.

Well, they look warm enough. The fight with the sock-glide could be a painful one, I didn’t expect them to be so thick?

Being the coward I am, and having managed without wearing socks for three months or more, I shall continue to abstain.

At least until it gets too cold for me, and I’ll have to recommence my daily, fearful, dangerous, shocking, hemerine struggle with the innocent-looking Sock Glide again!

Ah! The memories I have of my risky, injury ensuring, lethal morning tussles wit the glide!

The black-spotted fingers, the scraped knuckles, the blood flowing. The cursing, stubbing my toe on it, toppling over when using it, tearing the socks, and dropping the danged thing.

But it seems impervious to getting damaged. 

It just silently lays there on the shower chair, seemingly staring at me, not for want of company or feeling sad at not being used, oh, no!

It just can’t wait to get back to its meaning in life – To injure me as much as possible! Luckily, I have a good supply of pain-gel, a few Codien 60g, and liquid Morphine hidden in the medical cupboard, along with a tube of bruise-easer ointment, bandages and plasters at the ready, for when the Morning Altercations are forced to restart again!

Going bonkers, me? Mmm?

I am about to get the nosh sorted out now, five-hours later than planned originally. (I may give-up on making plans, they never come to fruition or work out right anyway! Tsk!)

I’ll carry on updating from this point, in the morning post.

Take care out there! May your foibles ferment with festivity, fun and financial gain!

Inchcocksi – Tuesday 28th July 2020:

TFZer Keeping at a Social Distance


Tuesday 28th July 2020

Maori: Rātū 28 Hōngongoi 2020

03:00hrs: Within minutes of waking up, I’d ignored the nagging worry of something, whatever it was, I knew I had to remember this morning (Tsk!), had clambered out of £300, second-hand, c1968, none-operational, rusty, rickety, uncomfortable recliner, caught my balance, and with the aid of the four-pronged walking stick, I found myself in the kitchen. with the window open, with camera in hand, taking photographs out of the window of the morning views!

Nowt outstanding in this, I know. But I had to guess the getting up procedure I’d just done, due to a memory-blank. I really could not recall doing anything up to this point. The ailments are starting early this morning?

I went to get the kettle on, but it already was on. (Oh dearie me! – Hey-ho!) Then I got the sphygmomanometer and took the blood pressure and pulse. All the figures looked good enough for me. I used the stick thermometer, and it showed a figure today, of 84.4°, which I also think is good. The inner body seems to be doing okay, now if I can control the mind as well, there still may be hope for me. Hehehe!

As I began to download the photos from the SDCH card, the belated demand for the Porcelain Throne arrived from the innards. No messing about, I hobbled-hastily to the wet-room. But the solidity of evacuation prevented any movement, despite my having a go at the crossword while waiting and hoping for some activity.

So, off I limped to the kitchenette and partook in a mug of Macrogol in warm water. Then back to the computer, and started to download the pictures of my trip-around-Nottingham, to the computer. There were a few of them to sort out and remember about.

And, guess what? Yes! Down went the Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet site! I did a Google search for any current problems and found this. Not the sarky first graphic, I made that up myself, Humph!

If Virgin, along with British Gas, would allow me to leave them, I would! But they get away with lying and giving wrong or dead links to use for this! The Swine! 

A beautiful morning, though!

I left the computer alone, as I got another call to the throne, so I went off to the wet-room zone, alone! (The poetry comes free, folks, Hehehe!)

By Jiminy, that Macrogol works quickly!

The legs looked fine this morning!

A bigger than a normal dollop of an evacuation started, along with the agony, bleeding and a little cursing on my behalf! A few words invented as well, like… ‘Eeerogleardamn’ and ‘Ooo, oo, argh!’ An awful lot of cleaning up and medicationalisationing was needed. Glunglegnatsworth!

 I got back to updating again when the internet returned. Then went on Facebooking.

Guess what? My viewing figures on WordPress, have dwindled suddenly? From 120, down to 58, and now 7? I’m worried if I’ve done summat wrong?

I finished and posted off the Monday blog (7 views only? I’m losing heart here!) Then went on the WP Reader section.

Humph! Then. the net disappeared again! 

This time for only a few minutes, though. Thank you, Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet!

Disheartened, I went to check on the mushrooms in the crock-pot. As you can see in the blurred photograph, I had to jump back as the steam came flying out!

That’ll teach me to be more careful! Haha!

My Brother-inLaw, Pete, who had his first treatment for the Big-C, yesterday, sent me a photo of the gear he got sent home with! Cor, Blimus! I replied, making him a belated Honourary Member of the ‘Official Medicationalisticalised Pill-popping Person’s  Association’. Well, it made him larf he said! Hehe!

My beloved Nurse Hristina arrived as I was cleaning the electric fire-front. She was obviously in a bit of a rush, but found time to give me a few minutes nattering session, which I appreciated no-end! I told her of the Podiatrist farce, but not complainingly. She offered to move the crunched-up carpet for me when she noticed I got a bit entangled in it with the stick, but I thanked her and declined. And sadly had to let her go, cause I could that she needed to, a busy gal! ♥

When I got back on the computer, Tsk!

I decided to do a Google check on the other internet suppliers as well.

I was suspicious when I saw a similar pattern to each one? It seems to me, to be one of the biggest cons since decimalisation! I assume the red dotted line, indicates the average speed, or complaints, for the given time? Liberty-Global, being the lowest?

I took a shot of the end car park on Chestnut Walk, from the balcony. I wouldn’t risk injury by trying to open the lethal metal spring clip, that needs pressing and pulling at the same time to use. (A fitter actually trapped his finger on in last March! Honest!) So I hung out of one of the front windows as far as I dare. Mainly to get the photo of four read vehicles for my cyber-mate Billum Ziegler, in Ohio, I think. Hehe!

I made up some waste bags to go to the chute, and made a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea… and had to shoot back off to the Porcelain Throne, in a panicky rush!

How embarrassing, I didn’t get there in time! I felt so ashamed, guilty, and angry with myself! I blamed myself as well, I shouldn’t have taken the Macrogol so hastily. Still, it proves that it works. After a lengthy cleaning up session and medicationalisationing, I was a different person when I got back to the computer. The enthusiasm had gone. Whatever I’d done wrong to get so few views, and now this Porcelain Throne stigma and disaster had got to me. 

Then I heard what sounded like a car horn being pressed angrily, it sounds like it was right in the room, to my left? Was it the alert alarm box, the light on it had gone off? Someone outside on the road, I looked outside from the balcony, but could see nothing untoward? Checked that the landline was still working, that was fine? on it. The Virgin box still had lights lit on it?… Then I heard what sounded like someone breathing out and it was loud? It came from the area where the alarm, Virgin box and telephone were situated? Gawd, I’m all confused again!

I got back to the waste-bag sorting and loaded the three-wheeler up, it couldn’t take any more bags. Hehe!

The wind was getting up as I waited patiently for a lift to arrive. Then I realised I’d left the camera in the hallway. So I nipped back into the flat to collect it from the radiator where I’d left it.

When I got back out to the lift lobby, I’d missed the elevator. So waited patiently for the tenants lift to arrive. The constructor-only lift came three times, and I had to send it back up, to get the tenants one to come to me. Ah, well, at least I got down, eventually.

I hobbled out of the lobby, to the waste bin. And as the recycling bags were smaller than normal, I coped with getting them in the small opening. I went into Smug-Mode! But not for long, when I realised I had not dropped the two black down the waste chute, so I’ll take them back up with me, on the way back and deposit them down the chute.

I waddled along Chestnut Walk, taking some photos, and popped into the new Winwood Extra Care Court.

Where the Wardens Holding Cells, Interrogation room, and office are located. To see Laptop Model, Warden Deana. There was no one in the office.

Not that it mattered.  I’d forgotten why I was calling in the first place. Thundeclumphead, that’s me!

I also suffer, with Ethonomia you know! Hahaha!

Another picture was taken on the way back. I did notice that the string wind seemed to be only around my Woodthorpe Court area?

I went in through the Caretakers door, and unfortunately, bothered Caretaker Robert, who was having his nosh! But he was alright about it. He took the black bags from, bless him. We had a mini-natter, and I told him about the NHS only treating people, well the NHS Podiatrists, with bad circulation in their feet. I said my farewells and went out to the ground floor lift lobby.

Another long wait. Several folks were in front of me in the queue. The tenant’s lift was moving twixt the 9th and thirteenth floors for ages! Then I spotted a note on the board, about a window cleaner who was calling on at Woodthorpe Court, on Thursday 6th August. We had to put out names and flat numbers on the form if we wanted him to call on us.

I nipped back and pestered Robert again, to loan, or should or borrow a pen so I could sign up? Signed, and took the pen back to the caretaker.

By the time I made it back to the elevators, two new tenants were there. The tenant and a construction worker got in the same residents lift together. Then it was my turn for the next free lift.

You wouldn’t believe how long I had to wait. The tenants lift again started going twixt the 9th and 14th floor, repeatedly. While I waited, the Constructor only cage came down to the ground floor about three times. Very confusing? Still, it was interesting!

I got inside the flat, stored the three-wheeler in the hallway, and got the kettle on (first things first!), made a brew of Glengettie. While I was in the kitchen, I eventually heard the landline ringing, I got to it as fast as I could, but missed it. Back to making the brew, and it happened again, and I was too late getting to it again!

I rang to see if it was Jenny, but no. She remembered the 1471 number, I thanked her, and tried it. The number ringing was 07786……. I tried to find who it was on Google. All I got as ‘Do not ring back: this is possible a scam or con! So I didn’t!

I had a moment or two of ponderisationing. The Morrison order is coming late today, 17:00 > 18:00hrs. And as I unslept the computer, an email came in from Morrisons, they do not have any egg mayonnaise! I let Jenny know that the flour would be here and roughly when. She asked me to phone her when it arrives, and she will nip up to collect it.

Well, no egg mayonnaise! Tsk! I’ll do an Iceland order methinks, and get some, also add eggs so when Jenny explains to me how to, I can make my own.

Done it!

I noticed the sky was so beautiful, I risked life and limb by taking a shot of it from outside the balcony window. But realised when it came to putting it on here, it was not so good as I thought it would be. Red-eye and I caught the window edge on it! Oh, well!

The egg-Mayonnaiseless Morrison order could be arriving anytime now.

I’m getting tired and have a feeling, I’ve forgotten something? Mmm!

When the food order comes, I’ve got to call Jenny, hello, she’s just sent me an email! I’ll investigate it. Haha!

Must stay awake, not nod-off, but the eyelids are getting heavy.

To tired to concentrate now, I might turn off Computer Cameron for a bit, or longer.

Oh, I’ve got some diabetic socks coming tomorrow, the longer ones. Of course, it’s been that long since I’ve worn any, it might be amusing using and injuring myself with the sock-glide again. Oh, yes!

Aha, the latest Coronavirus updates just come through. A little concerning,

Today: Additional cases on Tuesday 28 July 2020: 581.
The total number of COVID-19 associated UK deaths 45,878.
Deaths of people who have had a positive test result: 119 Additional deaths on Tuesday 28 July 2020.
Fighting off the fatigue, and I’ve got the nosh to do yet. Poor old thing! Hahaha! Can’t be long now, it’s ten minutes to the end of the hour for the delivery?
Then it dawned on me, as the hour of the delivery passed with nothing arrived yet. The call might have been from the driver to say he’d be late for some reason? But the magic red-letter warning from the Google inquiry, prevented me being brave enough to try ringing it. Oh, dearie me! 
Then I thought, oh, dearie me, (I do that a lot, you’ve noticed, I bet?) and wondered if he’s left the stuff outside the door? I went to check. Nope!
Gone 18:30hrs now! I phoned Jenny to let her know and explained the possible cock-up!
After I’d taken these shots across the sky, from left to right, from the kitchen window, and the glom got me down even more. I sat down to put then on here, and the late sun burst through?
I was battling against falling asleep still, and it was a right struggle-and-a-half, I feel the need to tell you!
The sun, shone through the balcony windows, and when I picked up the Nikon to put the SDH card back in it, it was so hot, I nearly dropped the camera! I had to close the blinds.
An hour and a half later, the Morrison delivery arrived. It was the driver who was ringing me earlier. Jenny and Frank, bless ”em came to help me sort the stuff out, I handed the flour over while they were up in the flat. ♥♥♥
I am now going to get meal cooked and will take the tale up again on the Wednesday post, cause I’m shattered
Food and sleep, seem my greatest needs, at the moment! Hehehe!.

Inchcocksi – Saturday 25th July 2020: Chinwagless! Humph!

TFZer Beauty Marie, (with Inchcock showing interest!) Haha!

Saturday 25th July 2020

Dutch: Zaterdag 25 Juli 2020

01:30hrs: I stirred gently and slowly into imitation-life. Rather surprisingly, not needing a wee-wee?

The brain wasn’t all that interested in operational duties for a while. I disentangled my over-stomached body from the second-hand, c1968 rickety recliner. That my xyrophobia suffering, over amour propred Brother-in-law Pete broke, when he was searching the flat while I was in the hospital with the Stroke, and taking my valuables, he took a rest. Fatal! He could not resist the electrics, and Pete played with them. Now the recliner no longer works! 

I caught my balance (it wasn’t too good this morning for some unbeknown reason). And wobbled off to the kitchenette, almost on auto-pilot. I got the kettle on and did the health checks. The BP SYS as a little high again. Sorted the small tablets out and identified the Furesomide and removed it (At least I hope I got it right). Took the medications and was drinking the mug of Glengettie tea and wondering if it was worth trying to take an early morning photo if the dark, dank view outside.

  Then, with surprising suddenness, I had to hobble-hastily to the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket). A bit of a blaster-mode this wee-wee was! And a long one too! There was none of the PMPD (Post-Micturition Pre-Dribble). Still, a plentiful supply of embarrassing PMAD (Post-Micturition After-Dribbling), so much of it, I nearly started counting the cracks on the ceiling, while I whistled! Unfortunately, it caught me out, a few drops of late-dibbling took place. In-Depth-Ignominy-Mode-Engaged!

Then, the innards gave me a poke, which told me I needed to get to the Porcelain Throne, which I did, without any delay. The most painful for weeks affair! But it was not a long job, no bleeding, and aroma didn’t make me feel hazy this time. Hahaha!

The toes and feet for worse than yesterday morning, of course, the nails were longer. And the fungal nail infection on the right foot was more evident. More painful too!

I silently prayed that the St Anns podiatrist will see to me on Monday and not refuse to do-me, because of my ailments (Issues, they call them), like they did, last August! I’m not confident about this in the least.

I took the opportunity to change the PP’s. Knowing that I will need to replace them again when I do the ablutions, I put on one of the smaller ones I had to hand, for the time being. I hope I don’t get any Diabetes Insipidus leaks, or Little Inchies fungal lesion bleeds in between!

The brain was working again, as well as it ever will methinks, and a determination to get the updating done rose forth! Three wee-wees (each of the LPT (Long-Persistent-Type), two cups of Thompsons Punjana tea, and hours later, I finished the updating. Phew!

It was looking a little bleak out there. But no rain yet awhile.

I posted the Friday blog to WordPress, Emailed the links, and went on Facebooking catch-up, and that took me over two hours! Then onto the WordPress Reader section. Pinteresting. Time to get the ablutions done, back in a while.

I’m back!

The ablution session was sorrowfully a painful one,  but entertaining! Hehe!

  • The teeth cleaning went well, no bleeding, Toothache Thomas was only mildly bothersome!
  • Putting the tube and brush back on the side-trolley. The exact moment my right hand steadied the trolley for me to reach over to return the stuff to the tray with my good left hand, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley gave me a good rattling, and the trolley wet over! Isn’t it amazing how much stuff you can squeeze into and onto a bathroom tray? It took me yonks to retrieve it all! Cragnangles!
  • The shaving consisted of far too many dropsies. Razors repeatedly, after-shave (used as a bleeding-stopper) and the foam can twice.
  • And on another occasion, I was shaking the can of foam, and off it flew via the North wall, back down, off of the sink and onto the sock-glide, hit the shower tiles, landed and rolled gently back to my feet and stopped, like a trained little dog! This was the entertaining part. I had to smile at it! Haha!
  • As I got into the shower, I tripped on the mat I had only myself to blame, I’d not left it in the usual position I do when showering. Pillock!
  •  The showering itself was almost perfect! No dizzies, no banging into the grab-bars, no dropping the showerhead, and the curtains didn’t get stuck on closing them! T’was good! I felt good at the time!
  • Furthermore, no toe-stubbings, throughout the whole showering operation!
  • Drying off my baby rhinoceros jelly-like flabby-bellied body was incident and escapade-free!
  • I’ll not go into detail on this one, to embarrassing; I had severe bother when I used Little Inchies fungal lesion cream, on Harold’s Haemorrhoids! Suffice to say, Blubber-Argh! Grigglecocks! I have now moved the Phimosis Plato, and Paraphimosis Patrick’s clobetasone butyrate corticosteroid cream out of the way! I must remember where to, so I’ll mention where it was placed here – Inchcock: It’s on the bottom tray on wetroom trolley! Try not to forget, mush!
  • The old legs didn’t look too bad.

The dreaded ‘Hum’ was getting so loud again, as I started on doing this blog. I persistently persisted, and got as far as here, and had to go on CorelDraw again to get some graphics done in advance.

Oh, no, I’d better do the template first. I must get caught up for Monday, which I anticipate being a busy day, full of frustrations at the Health Centre, and no time to get much computerisationing done! Done it, back to CorelDrawing!

By Jimminy, the rain cometh down now!

I had some tap-tapping and knock-knocking noises from above to keep me company.

The familiar post meridian weariness and drainage of enthusiasm, frolicsomeness, and will-to-bother came over me, and I decided to get a meal made up then get in the recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus.

Well, the nosh was a super-tasty one! Beef pasty, potatoes, egg mayonnaise, beetroot & carrot,  tomatoes, and a mini-pork & pickle pie. An individual lemon mousse and apple pie to follow. I lip-smackingly enjoyed this effort!

Washed the pots, and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, not-working, uncomfortable, rickety recliner. I felt so tired, there was no need for me to put the TV on to send me off to kip. My tiredness alone will soon see me off in the land of Nod! I thought!

An hour of Thought-Storms, they were mostly of the guilt, self-hatred, and shame mode. Then I moved on to worrying about Monday’s trip out to the podiatrist at St Ann’s Health Centre. I put the TV on, for sleep was not attainable.

I was getting nowhere with my designs for sleep, and I decided to remove my magnificently honed and toned, super-fit, woman-desired, muscular body from the none-working recliner, and replenish the spring water bottle. 

I stubbed my toes en route to the kitchen! I whimpered a bit, and returned to the recliner immediately, took a pain killer, and tried to get some pain gel on the toes.

This proved to a farcical effort, I’ll tell you why; I got some gel on a paper towel, grabbed it with the picker-upperer, and tried to apply it to the two toes affected. This didn’t go well! Thanks to Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley’s most untimely attack, I gelled part of the foot, shin, carpet, hands, and the recliner, I’m not sure if any gel actually got onto the stubbed toes! Cragknackles!

I didn’t bother with getting any of the spring water! But sleep now seemed an impossibility. So I put the TV back on (desperate now!) in the hopes that the commercials would send me off.

Which they did in the end, but I had to a few more hours.

Worra life!

Inchcocksi – Friday 24th July 2020: Incomprehensibly, a Whoopsiedangleplops and Accifauxpas shortage today. Most disconcerting!

TFZer Actress & Ballerina Eve

Friday 24th July 2020

Croatian: Petak, 24 Srpnja 2020. Godine

03:30hrs: I woke up requiring a widdle, and de-wedged my overly sized stomach-burdened body from the c1968 rickety recliner. With some haste, there was a chance of some Post-Micturition Pre-Dribbling, I could sense it, so hurriedly, I moved to the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket)…

Too late, I’m afraid! Starting a day like this with an Accifauxpas three minutes of waking up, was not a good start!

Off to the wet room for a good clean-up, and a change of PP’s. Then to the kitchenette and got the kettle on. Taking a photo that did not come out anything like what the eyes saw, of the kitchen windows. Will anything go right today? Pickletorment!

The sphygmomanometer readings were very close to the ones that were for last Friday! Not too bad. The temperature, taken on the old stick thermometer (the new one has packed up on me, Tsk!), showed a ‘Low’ again.

I took the morning medications and made a brew of Morrisons Extra-Strong Assam tea. I had a bit of good-luck then! (Oh, yes!) As I limped to the cupboard to put back the BP machine, I trod on a piece of broken pottery from last night’s dropping of the milk jug! And did not cut my foot, no bleeding at all. Swank-Mode-Assumed!

I got the computer on and checked the diary for today. The only thing on it was the Iceland Food Delivery, twixt 08:00 > 10:00hrs. Only two items unavailable this time. I was feeling guilty about getting the cake anyway. Haha! So, I must get a stand-up ablutions session before 07:00hrs to make sure I’m available just in case they arrive earlyish.

I made a start on updating yesterday’s diary. After an hour or so, during which the ‘Hum’ outside had grown so loud, I could hear it easily without any hearing aids in, I made another mug of tea, Thompsons Punjabi. Took this snap of Chestnut Walk, it came out decent enough. Then sent the post off to WordPress, Emailed the links. Made up a template for this blog, then got on with writing it, and it was almost a pleasure!

But where and why Nicodemus’ neurotransmitters, Shaking Shaun, Saccades Sandra, and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley had gone, I couldn’t understand? No doubt they’ll be back again, they always are. But I made the best of this medical-marvel, and typed away better than I have for ages! I really enjoyed these two-hours of freedom from some of the ailments. I believe, for a short time, I was almost happy! Oh, Yes!

As I started on the WordPress Reader, things got back to normal, I’m afraid. Shirley and Nicodemus both reactivated. Tsk! Off to the wet room now, to get the ablutions tackled! Back in a bit.

I’m back! The poor-old plates and toes are looking doughier, more livid, and anaemic than ever. A bit much to contend with. Even wearing the slippers a is painful and uncomfortable. Wearing the shoes and mask on Monday for the trip to the Health Centre podiatrist, is going to be a challenge, let alone getting the boots on! Expuslivications!

Anyway, the ablution session was a mixed one, good and bad involved.

  • The teeth cleaning as going well, until, towards the end, I caught one of the rear molars, as Nicodemus’ neurotransmitters lost sense of touch, and I pressed too hard.
  • The amazing thing is that I had no pain for several minutes, then the nerves sent the message to the brain. By that time, I had finished doing the teeth and was putting on the shaving foam.
  • The agony shot from the tooth, and I dropped the foam can, and it landed on my toes! Argh!
  • The shaving went well, only one little nick on the neck!
  • No toe-stubbings!
  • No Dizzy Dennis visits!.
  • Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley made me drop the towel and knock a few bits off of the floor cabinet in trying to catch it before it hit the deck.
  • As I was leaving the wet room, I lunged a bit to the right as I lost balance, and somehow or other, did not make any contact with the door frame edge or wall?

One of my better ablutionalisations. Overall, an interesting session, I’ve had many worserer ones! Hoity-Toity tendencies triggered!

I got dressed and was ready in case the Iceland delivery arrives. I started to get some waste bags done up, with additional cardboard box ones, to go to the rubbish chute. Stacked them ready for after the food arrives. I don’t want to risk taking them yet and missing the delivery on the intercom.

Carried on with the updating of this blog. Half-an-hour later, the intercom buzzed, and I let in the Iceland man. He was up in a jiffy, and he put the bags in the doorway for me. I took them through to the kitchen. There didn’t seem to be many bags this time? I checked the list and sorted it through checking the goods. Did the few freezer items first, all three there, and then spent about fifteen-minutes trying to make room to get them in the freezer! Haha!

Got the apple pies in the cupboard with the tinned potatoes and instant mash.

The fridge carrier, well, there were two of them, was sorted then. Steak slices, vine tomatoes, Pork & Pickle pork pies, mushrooms, cooked roast beef slices, satays, dessert pots, beetroot salad, potato salad, egg & mayonnaise salad, and to my surprise, some cooked chicken thighs.

I can’t really recall ordering them. But then, I can’t remember where the flat keys are, what I had for dinner yesterday, or what I was about to do as I left the kitchen? Sad, innit?

I got the rubbish bags, not the big recycling one, just the six little ones that will go down the chute, and out to take them there. A lady decorator was in the lift lobby, and she kindly took them off of me, saying she’ll take them for me because some steps and barriers were near the chute-room door. I thanked her muchly! Then hobbled back to the apartment. Kind of her!

Made myself a brew of Glengettie Gold tea. And the milk had gone orf! Humph! Made another and used the new pots of milk. Then back on the computer, to update it as far as here. Then went on Facebooking. Got the latest Coronavirus figures.

Not so good, is it?

I was feeling a bit peckish, as you do, like. And wondered about having soft brown Thins with Marmite for nosh later? But, what do I have with ’em? After some faffing about trying to make my mind vacant up, I thought some sausages and baked beans? But I left, making my mind up until later. What a ditherer I am! It took a while, but being as I have peas left in the pan from yesterday, I’ll have them, tomatoes, and Marmite sarnies! I think?

Then, onto CorelDraw to do a couple more TFZer header graphics. Slow going again, but I got two done.

The doorbells chimed out merrily with the tune of Dusty Springfield’s ♫ I Only Want to Be with You ♫.  I struggled to get some clothes on.

I shot like a bolt-of-lighting to answer the door. Well, alright,  I hobbled less slowly than usual, anyway, Hehe! An envelope was through the letter-box, I opened the door, no one in sight.

Jenny, bless her ♥, had made and printed up a clear note for me to take with me on Monday, to show to the podiatrist, in case Stuttering Stephany took a grip on me. (At this point, I thought I must ask Jenny if she has any idea how much the taxi fare will be, so I can make sure I have enough with me). I got on the telephone to thank her and ask Jenny if she had an idea what taxi fare might be. But of course, I forgot to ask about the cab, I was too intent on thanking her for her kindness. I am a klutz!

Weary William fell on me so quickly, I set about making the evening’s (to me, any normal person it would be afternoon tea! Hahaha) meal.

Two mini-pork & pickle pork pies, (say that when you’ve had a few, Haha!). Piccolo tomatoes, canned garden peas, egg mayonnaise, beetroot & carrot salad, and four brown bread thins with lashings of gorgeous Marmite.

The red grapes and apples I intended to have, turned out just apples. (The red grapes had all gone gooey and had to be discarded, Tsk!) So I had a mousse and little apple pie instead. Two individual milk pots, to take the tablets with. A flavour rating of 8.2/10!

I ate all of this odd feast slowly as I watched the TV, feet up on the swivel chair. The eye-lids drooping, trying to stay awake another fifteen-minutes to view the Kitchen Nightmare program.

I nodded-off, and woke up as the programme was just ending! Tsk! I forced myself up to get the pots washed and have a wee-wee and crawled back into the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-sickening beige-coloured, broken-down, uncomfortable, dusty, rusty, decaying, rickety recliner.

After a couple of hours Thought-Storming, with the odd minute-long nod-off, I’m glad to report… Zzzz, Sweet Morpheus arrived! And most appreciated he was!