Inchcock Today: Friday 21st October 2022

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Last night, I had just got to sleep, and 20 minutes later, I shot awake in some pain, with, of all things, agony with the Covid Booster arm. Followed seconds later by ... Hang on, I think I put this in the Thursday blog?
Anyway, it put an end to getting any sleep. I wanted to get on with blogging, but I could sit there in the  £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner, stewing in my thoughts, and I admit it, self-pity. I walloped some extra Codeine 30g down and took a dollop of Pentax in vain hopes of easing , but she didn’t have it. Why did I go 12 hours after getting the injection with no signs of discomfort? Then when I finally get to sleep 20 minutes later, this happens?

I did muster enough interest to take these three poor shots of the view from the kitchen window.

There was no way I could muster the interest to try and update the blog… which is not me! Out of desperation, I put on a Sherlock Holmes DVD. But, the interest was not there.

Nine hours later, blasted from the doorbell. It was a very tired-looking Carer Jodie who came in. Tired as she was, she listened to my tales of Woe regarding the Covid jab and giving me trouble. I sorted some treats out in thanks. Bless her!

The arm is not getting any easier yet… but has eased off a bit. When Jodie’d gone, I pulled myself together a bit. And decided to get make a start on the
The blood pressure had gone up a smidge into the Hypertension 1+ area.
I got a little interest coming back now, and I changed the colouring on the Inchcock graphic. and the head photo too.

What did I say a few minutes ago? About ? She’s kicking off again with venom. Naughty ! I really must stop showing signs of hope and thoughts of improvement and shut my cake-hole

The Body temperature was still low. Why? I don’t know.
When I went on the NHS grading and recording site, I decided to do a few extra days’ worths. To give a better picture of how things were going these last few weeks.
There seems to be more in the amber this last fortnight?

All to the good, methinks.

I set to do the updating of the Thursday blog. Not a lot to put on it, mind you.
But I still made plenty of grammatical errors in doing it and getting it posted to WordPress. I’m good at that!
As I was making a start on this post. You would believe how much worse turned.
No concentration now, so I tried to make a meal. But was unsure if could eat it. In a pickle mentally here! I’ll make a smaller meal. But it turned out a bit of a chore this time. The Asda Parmentier, as usual, varied in size so much there was no chance of baking them from the carton, and the larger ones had to be quartered, so they were all about the same size for cooking. So I got the chopping board and sharp knife out.

Rang out, and I went to investigate. It was an Amazon delivery. Two items this time.

A bag of kitchen towels, a big one as well.Slightly smaller towels, but handy for the nose-blowing and rectifications of any , and/ or blood escapages. Not a lot of people know that! Haha!                                                  And two of the electricity box openers, cheap as well, they were. £2.50 for the pair. Looking at them, one can see why they were seemingly such good value. Hehehe!

With perfect timing, what I call ‘s ‘Stop-Me-Sensing’ with the finger ends, which resulted in two little cuts in the finger, and the loss of many of the potatoes when the nerves were not telling the brain I wanted to touch or grab anything. In this case, the potatoes to cut! I was silly to carry on with it, really. Cause I know this usually lasts for a few minutes at most. But, no, stubborn me made such a mess that needed cleaning up, blood, spuds on the floor and a knocked-over oven tray… which cost me ten times as long as it would have if I’d just waited! I think (I do that occasionally, you know!) it may be a part of my pointless resistance to having Peripheral Neuropathy? Does that make sense?

About three hours after putting the meal in the oven, it took that long I had to reheat the potatoes in the microwave oven as I cooked the Frikadellens! Served it up and added the tomatoes and naughty pot of lemon yoghourt. It was an even smaller meal than I had planned; due to the PN-inspired dropping of about a third of the cooked potatoes on the floor.

Despite all the malarkey in getting it cooked and the wee-wees going on a six-count flourish of visits to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) with plenty of PMD (Post-Micturition-Dribble) while I was supposed to eating it; I enjoyed it although it was colder than planned, there was less of it due to the many and multiple , so not as cold as it would have been, had I had a proper plateful… I’m getting confused here.

Chloe arrived. Advised her on the change in medications, which was prompted by my being given only one of the Lansoprozole capsules. With the agony of all the Angina attacks and getting the Doctor to listen to me, she doubled the dosage. No one had told Chloe. I’d written on the box in pen x2 now new dose. But obviously, she did not see it. I’ll have to speak to Richard on Monday; he is the one monitoring the medications. I got two boxes of Lansoprozole this month. so that’s good. Now I must let Meridian know about the two changes in doses. Cause the carers don’t all know. Not their fault. But I do not want to miss or have half of the Lansoprozoles while Anne Gyna is playing up so bad. Gave Sam a choice of treats, thanked her, and got ready to do battle with Sweet Morpheus again. Will he let me sleep tonight? I pray!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 20th October

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04:15hrs: I woke, yodelling, and laughed at the word. Broke into ♫Are you lonesome tonight♫ and leapt from the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner. Did 100 press-ups and 200 squats with the weights and had a bowl of healthy muesli and peppercorns.
All right, I’ll start again, then…
04:14hrs; I woke, passed wind and had an unexpected escapage from the rear-end! I painfully and carefully worked my way out of the recliner and limped even more carefully to the wet room.
Things were worse than I anticipated! The escaped product, although only a tiny amount, seemed to have two colours to it; Dark brown and khaki, not mixed up, but separated shades. But a definitely more fetid whiff lingered! After going into Sherlockian Mode, I worked out that I must have had a nocturnal leakage as well. but was not aware of it.
Got things cleaned and refreshed and new PPs on. Those Depend pants have proved themselves to be reliable a few times now. I only mention it because it helps me to live with the embarrassment and shame brought on by the bowels and bladder malfunctions. That sounded like it was written by an almost educated person?

Into the kitchen to make a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea. Starting the full milk this morning.

The photo taken was not such a good one this time. I tried three times to get a good one too. Tsk!

The sphygmomanometerisationing was tackled.
Although back up a fair bit on yesterday’s results, I’m not complaining at all.
Being at Hypertension One is where the returns have been more than any other level for weeks now.
SYS 154, DIA 92 (I would have thought that should have been in the red?).
Pulse in the green at 74.
The body temperature was low again, two days on the trot, after four days of being too high. And low the previous four days.
Still, getting n the amber for two of the last seven days is Smug-Mode making!

During ablutioning: I broke a bit more off of the left side double-molar cleaning the teeth. I can’t stop running my tongue around the new arrangement. Hahaha!
Ah, yes, well; here. Why are the tiniest cuts suddenly bleeding so profusely this morning? That was the question. Methinks with the reduction in Warfarin tablets must indicate that the INR level is high… Hang on, I look at the DVT Anticoagulation record… Ahem! It’s a little high at 3.9. I moved up a level in my Smug-Moding!
All went very well! (This was ultimately due to not bleeding) Thus, no painful ointment needed to be ointmentated.

Came in, and within seconds of greeting each other, the Yawning while talking commenced. I knew it had to be a Thursday, his last shift of the week. The poor lad looked shattered. But we still had a natter in between the yawning. Hehe! Gave him some treats, and wished him some sleep, as he took the waste bag with him on his way out.

I then spent the time readying the things needed for the Covid Booster trip. I made sure I was down in the lobby in plenty of time…
Down in the lift, not many folks about down there.
So, I had a reads of the notice boards for anything new on display.

Well, this notice caught my eye.
As did another, with questions from Tenants for the Residents Association to put to Nottingham City Homes Management. I did try to take a photo of it, but it failed to make it to the SD card again. As I recall, some of the questions related to the gangs of youths prowling about the corridors and what is being done about it.
And two about rough sleepers found in the stairwells? Fun living here!
And the Lumix went on strike altogether!

The minibus arrived. The cap asked me if knew the way to Carrington Pharmacy. ‘Down Winchester Street, Left on Mansfield Road, half a mile further on as the road dips, it’s in the block of shops on the right.” “Keep me informed when we get close. Which side of the road is it on?”

The rainstorm was getting worse now, and there were floods on the road as we neared the shop! We found it alright, and he told me he’d be back to collect me at 11:15hrs. Thanked him and got soaked just going from the minibus to the chemist’s shop.

They tended to me quickly, and I had a jolly good natter with the owner Deepak, and his daughter, who gave me the injection.
Then I went to the Lidl site for a sniff around. Got some flowers for Wardens Dean & Julie. Frikadellens for me. A couple of cans for the Carers counter, tomatoes and something else; I remember later when I put the Fuji cameras shots of the food on here.

Easy-Link returned on time, and we were soon back at the flats. Offered him a can of something, but it was declined. Thanked him again.
I got wet again going to the ILC office, gave them their treats, and as I was leaving, saw Esther lurking. Up to the flat, to put the food away… Ah, but not one of the baking potatoes (I remembered now!) That went in the oven! With plans to have Frikadellens and cheesy potatoes!
With the tomatoes that I bought today and those kindly gifted to me by Jenny, I think I’m in for a feast of taste!

Esther came in, and that meant no chance to get the blog done. Her talking to me from different rooms is annoying.
But she was in good spirits today!
Then I started to get today’s blog sorted. Four hours later, (Now), I got the potato mixed in with the Leicester cheese, liquid salt, V-butter and basil. It took me about an hour to get the one potato done and back in the oven.

So, a feast of fodder, so flavoursome, was I tucked into it! Frikadellens, baked spuds with turf Leicester cheese, tomatoes, and Saffron & Parmesian roast mini potatoes, to boot!

Carer Kylie arrived. , had a laugh and a natter for a bit, and then she took the waste bags on her way out.

I soon got stripped and into that jammies. I’d hoped for a good sleep, but I didn’t nod off until 22:30hrs. Which made me think how lucky I was with the booster jab. In the 12 hours since having the jab, I have not had the slightest bother, ache or pain… with it. And surprisingly, has been kind to me today!

!!!

At 23:00hrs: I burst awake in agony with both the right arm and giving me some unending agony… which continued through the evening and well into the morning!

I sank in despair. No sleep, unending aches and pains…

It’s a life innit?

Sunday 4th September 2020

POLITICAL CARTOON OF THE DAY

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ODE OF THE DAY

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Got my head down around 02:00hrs and woke up at 07:05hrs. So, a good five hours that I assumed and felt were straight through, no sudden wakings etc., pleased with that.
I was in need of a wee-wee within minutes of stirring, I limped over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). I was almost going to take a photo of it… Why? I’ll tell yers; How anyone could fill an overnight wee-wee bucket the size of mine in five hours… Well, it’s surely impossible. Not for me.

And the other thing about it is I could not recall taking one, let alone how many it must have taken to fill the bucket three-quarters full. How did I have the wherewithal to hold that much water? Was I drinking in my sleep as well? The bottle of spring water was still nearly full. Erm?
Made up some waste bags, and I made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana. And very nice it was too!
I got the Health Checks done and got the photos onto CorelDraw for resizing. I found one that was another mystery of  Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, ghosts, or the Fatah Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?
I did the Blood Pressure, and this photo was on the SD card in the Lumix camera when I went to get the photograph.
It appears that I must have been up and about somnambulating and eating when I thought I was sleeping peacefully.
I must remember to mention this to the Doctor on Tuesday’s appointment. It’ll be something else for her to ignore if nothing else.
A Sherlock Holmesian-like close investigation of the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner; revealed some seeds from the cob on the picture – Verdict? Guilty! However, I shall be pleading Not Guilty by reason of insanity. I can’t it not failing. Hehe!

Back to the Boot’s sphygmomanometerisationing results.
SYS 160, DIA 75, PULSE 74 bpm, Body Temperature a decent 33.2°f.
When I put the returning figures into the NHS assessment site…
Things have gone up into the Red area quite a bit. Hopefully a one-off.

Jozeph arrived. Got me sorted with the medications. Remembered to ask if I needed an extra painkiller or Peptac, which I did. Forced a can of vodka onto him in thanks. He took the bags to the chute on his way out.

Around about 09:30hrs, I went on CorelDrawing to get some tabs made up. A series of mistakes, mostly due to either the Neurotransmitter’s failing or .
It might have been less time demanding and bother to Duodenal Donald if I had not made so many errors in making the original tabs needed. If anything was do-wrongable, it did!

Was on from today. None of them was proper concert length, Many short sorts of skits of tap-tapping with the odd clunk here as there. Although in the late afternoon, he got very inventive, and he gave me a thud-clung followed by a whining noise, it made a nice change.

Got Josie’s nosh prepped, all the veg in, and a tin of Chilli-Con-Carnie to add later on.
I put some extra onions in this time. Kept tasting it as it progressed until I thought it was good enough for Josie. Turned it off to warm later.

Aha! The nail cutters and Pistachio nuts had arrived.
Got them unpacked, cutters in the draw, and the bag of Pistachio kernels in a screw lid plastic container.

Well, not all of them. Hehehe!
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♫ Food Glorious Food ♫, Well, for Josie. Time to get her meal and treats ready.
Got the tray filled up. A large bowl of chilli-con-carne, another serving in a food container for her tomorrow. A can of Lamcello Superior Perry, 7% proof. Some English fava beans dried ready to nibble. A pack of Leicester mini-cheddars, separate tomatoes red & yellow, cheese rounds, a bar of Yorkie Chocolate, and a few strawberry jam chocolate-covered marshmallows. That should be enough for her.
She seemed content with it anyway when I delivered it to her door.

Well, that session has got to be one of the longest ever… but not as long as last week’s nearly an-hour session.
Constipation Conrad had taken over control this afternoon.
The crossword puzzling didn’t go well. It was too painful to concentrate. Last week’s 45 cracks in the ceiling had grown to 49 now… assuming I didn’t fall asleep and miss any. Haha!
After the true agony of forcing the submarine-sized torpedo out, and I stood up to nervously check on Harold’s Haemorrhoids, I nearly passed out, proper dizzy. I used ordinary Germolene on the rear end, but it’s not effective, just better than nothing – mind you, I’d better check on the reserves of that as well.

Trust this to happen when I’ve run out of Germoloid Cream and ointment. Should hopefully have some delivered on Monday. If Sainsbury’s doesn’t substitute it with shoe polish or a toothbrush, that is. As uncomfortable as I’ve been in a long while. Oh, please come early in the morning, Mr Sainsbury driver… but with the Germoloid Cream and or ointment, at all costs. PLEASE!

The evening Carer came in without ringing the buzzer, and with it getting darker now, I left the light off and looked right close up so I can see things easier. The gal came in a shouted out a greeting.  I nearly had a heart attack! Gawed struth!
We had a laugh over it (I’m not sure why?) and when she gave me the medications, had a quick natter.

Hello, another tune from him above. Sounded like heavy chairs being moved, followed by a few plopping noises. He’s getting very varied today with orchestrations of noise, A Master he is!

Going to get some nosh sorted out for myself now.
The massive chips (fries) were gorgeous. I had to cook them ten minutes longer in the oven than the instructions said to get them crispy, but hey-ho, it worked!
The pretend fish in BBQ sauce (canned) is the last tin; Humph! was lovely. The tomatoes were fine. Far too many chips on the plate… but I ate them all. Gannet! A worthy taste rating of 8/10 was given.

Nodded off in the chair. To be woken up when the cheery , I think it was Carer Cheeky Charley, but not 100% sure. I was half-asleep at the time. I think I gave her a nail-cutter as she left and a drink from the fridge. She took a waste bag as she left for me. This may not be accurate cause the memory was not good when I wrote this, and the notepad reminders were blank?

I went to wash the pots somewhat belatedly. I took these two Lumix photographs from the kitchen window, well, in fact, I took four of the sky, but only this one was usable. I tried different settings to no avail; all too dark. I’d chosen night options, but it wouldn’t come any lighter.
I then took four pictures of the main view. Again only got this one; the others in any setting were just too dark to use.
When I put these on in the morning, I could have cried at how pathetic they came out. (Bottom lip protruding!)

Stripped and washed, but would not shave or shower. Too risky, a few mild routines and some vicious attacks nearly had me over as I stood at the sink. I dare not risk shaving.

Got the jammies on and carefully made my way to check things before getting my head down. It was another good ten minutes before I got down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner.
I put the TV on, which is always a good aid to nodding off. But the whittling in the brain about had I forgotten something returned,  and I had no option but to get up and check the balcony door was shut – it wasn’t, so I missed that one earlier, which did my worryings no good!
I settled down again, and I was soon back with sweet Morpheus. Just one more check on the stove and kitchen taps (faucets).

Shot awake yet again, convinced I had left the tap running in the bathroom!
I may have panicked a smidgeon and given my little left toe a drubbing right on the corner of the sock glide.

After this, sleep was not an option.

Odeing & Mini Diary

That’s the Ode, folks!

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Photographicalisations were taken Friday & Saturday.

Sorry about this, but with all the struggling to see proper and sort them out, CorelDraw crashed twice, had to reload from disc, and I now have three SD cards, which in an effort to sort out, I’ve not the foggiest of which camera that came from, or went back into. So frustrating. I’ve got to get CorelDraw sorted out yet… if I can. After ten hours with all the delays, doing the ode and graphics, all I want to do is get something to eat and get my head down… Oh, the Carer’s due anytime now!

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The photos are a mess, not good and mixed chronologically. (Sounds painful that… Hehe) I’ve had all sorts of bother again. Nine hours of just making the Ode! CorelDraw has gone down twice, Virgin once. Word once. Computer once. And, after all that time getting the Odes done, I had to sort out CorelDraw to get it working again… blind try this, try that methodology used. And I’ve the new (old) Lumix camera to try to sort again. The SD cards… Well, I got confused about which camera they came from and which they went back into. But the pictures have to be put on here, not that they are exciting or even passable.

I’ve just about had enough. I think the diary will have to go and stick with Odeing, what do you think? With the eyes and Doreen, and my luck with anything like cameras and computers, it’s just taking all day, and I love doing it, but something has to go to save precious time. Anyway, here are the pictures, but from when… Mmm! Sorry. Some, like Fridays, I think, are the first ones. They are a sad collection; why am I bothering?

This is Carer Joseph. Who couldn’t help with the Lumix, Fuji or Canon (I think that’s had it) cameras, computer, or CorelDraw? Which, of course, is the same with very Carer, and indeed me too. Hahaha! Nice lad, Joseph, if only he’d take a course in Computers, cameras and… Haha!

Ah, Risotto, I got this out, and Carer Sam, with difficulty, read a wrote down the cooking instructions for mem Bless her. Ah, that was this morning! I’m sure it was. On the right, so,e extra mushroom I was cooking to go into the Risotto. Yes, I actually thought I’d get it cooked! That would be about twelve hours ago now.

No memory of taking this one?

Then again, I have a lot of lost memories. Make note, whippersnappers, this may happen to you if Doreen Dementia arrives in your later years. I think I made with graphic of the Lumix last night. I seem to recall making up a gritting sarcastic to self Ode to put on here with the photo. I’ve no idea what I did with it now. Well, apart from a few shots from the kitchenette window taken today, that’s yer lot!

I got the Fuji working again early this morning. Judging by the shape of the photos, I took some of these on it. The later ones, I think, were done on the Lumix; I was trying to use the Panasonic option, a foolish waste of time, my unsteadiness of the hands and fingers should have told me not to bother. But Doreen Dementia wasn’t having anything workable to happen to me, naturally! Here are the crap shots from throughout the day that I seem to have taken.

Morning?

Lumix Afternoon? Lumix Evening – Trying Panasonic – no-go!

Fed-up, going to get the Risotto made.

Disappointed with the Risotto

All that bother to get it right too! The note Samantha did for me did not say if the 600ml of water needed to be boiled before or after putting the contents of the packet in the saucepan.

I had a hell of a job translating it from the packet. I had to use the little circle on the magnifying glass but could only see one or two words at a time. Brought the pack to the computer, put the one or two words into the Google translator, back to the glass repeatedly. It took me ages, but the magic words were eventually showing; boiling water… stir continuously.

It turned out very bland. And I’d added the last few garden peas and extra mushrooms as well. Shan’t bother with that brand again.

T T F N

Ode & Diary: Tuesday 16th August 2022 Cataract Investigation!

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04:10hrs: I stirred and awaited the brain to do the same. It took me a while. And not easy either, for the cragwrankling Thought Storms attacked the near dormant brain. 
I cringed when I realised they were off again. And did nothing… I just bided my time, doing my best to ignore them. I could have done with some men in white coats and some form of guidance councillor at that moment.
Half an hour or so later, the need for the Porcelain Throne rescued me from the clutches of the verbal put-downs. Despite their continuing to insult and malign me, the need to get to before anything started of its own accord if you see where I’m coming from.
Stubbing my toe en route was another benefit in clearing away the Thought Storm.
When I realised that things would be reluctant yet again, I grabbed the crossword book to take my mind off the thoughts. Which was a total failure, because my eyes are that bad now, I cannot see to read the clues any longer!
So, I concentrated my efforts on trying to force things along. I soon forgot all about the storming. As it happens, I also forgot all about using the porcelain Throne. The only thing that leaked out was a few droplets of blood. That’s comforting, knowing I’ve got to go through this agony and rigmarole again later.

I got the waste bags made up and placed them near the door. Returned to get the computer on and remembered the Ocado delivery was due shortly. So returned to the front door and moved the waste bags onto the three-wheel walker.
It’s been a bit of a bugger up to now. Humph!
Ah, something went right! The sphygmomanometerisationing revealed a rater super set of figures!
SYS 137, DIA 63, Pulse 81°f. Which brought the NHS check graph down into the Amber Zone. My b
ody temperature was all but spot on target, yet again, too! As I smiled to myself… I took a sharp intake of breath; and off to the wet room. Another false-alarm!
On both visits, and I was sitting down for ages each time, there was no wee-weeing. This has never happened before? So, I now have reluctant evacuations front and rear… Oh, dear! Four days ago, Trotsky Terence was in full charge, and Wee-Wee Willy was constantly flowing, often in torrents. I feel I need both bladder and bowels evacuating now…
What have I eaten that’s not my usual food? The only two things I can think of are that I bought tonic water due to the shortages last week in the heat wave of bottled water.

Ocado delivery arrived. Substituted bread and toilet rolls.
The bread I was not happy about. The lady said they had substituted Polish Sourbread with a ‘Plain’ loaf of sourdough. This is the ‘Plain’ Loaf. Malted Wheat, great lumps of something in it
. Grains, seeds, quinoa, and rock solid cost twice as much as the Polish one! Some like granite. More a sort of sliced house brick than a loaf of bread.
Then the recycled toilet rolls were subbed with ‘Plain’ TPs. Which were triple-layered and not plain nor recycled.
At the time, I took one out to have a look. Far too thick, like me.
I think you can see the squashed, crushed state of the Strawberry cakes in the link box.
The Milk Roll loaf, with (Richard pointed out later) one day’s life left on it!
Also, the mushroom pie was replaced with a Chestnut, mushroom, tomato, quinoa & baby onions topless pie.
Later, the ‘new’ vegan burgers that I later quinoa-filled, tasteless crap! Foul, .
The fridge was looking a bit healthier food-wise.

Arrived late on, and he’s had extra calls to make. Managed a little natter and laughed, but not much. He took the bags out for me when he departed.

I started updating the blog. Which went some like: ‘Wrong key’, misspelling, ‘Wrong key’, forgot the word, ‘The wrong key’, shakes hit tons of keys, ‘Wrong key’, the sight making things so slow, Wee-wee, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wrong key’, Wee-wee, lost word, misspelling, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wee-wee’,,,  and eventually IO had to give up for a break.

Made an order for Iceland for Friday for 08:00>10:00hrs delivery. Put it in the calendar.

Out of the blue, unexpectedly quickly, I felt so tired and drained. I just had to stop, and I had a sit down to unwind and hopefully get a bit of kip. My new Nokia N73 5G mobile phone chirped and flashed. It was Obergruppenfhüreress and Lap-Top Dancer Julie. To tell me that Carol, who is standing in for the frightening laundress lady Esther, who is on holiday for three weeks in Africa, will not be calling today, as she has to wait in for a plumber, can she come tomorrow instead. “No problem; I hope she gets it sorted”.

I got down in the recliner a fell asleep fast than I have for many a month, Fair enough, it was only for two very welcome hours, and I woke with a pang of hunger, so has a look at the food selection in stock.
The Biona Black bean Cashew burgers caught my eye. I decided to cook two of them and eat them both in between two slices of Milk Roll Loaf bread. Some raw garden peas and BBQ sauce for a dip!

Well pleased with my decision, I got the spy-glass out to read the cooking instructions.

Well, a lot of help they were. “Cook in a pan until they are brown!” They were brown now! The oven was already at 200°, so I put them in, and ten minutes later, they were burnt! Unless I’d had another mind-blank?
The burgers fell apart, and whatever seeds were hurtful to my teeth. They seemed well-cooked in such a short time and will not find room in my little flat again! Terrible Thought: I’ve got two more yet in the fridge... The peas were beautiful, the broken, crushed cake made a mess when I ate them, but they still tasted alright. 4/10 Flavour rating.

I found a letter in the postbox. It was a copy og information forwarded to my Doctor… Oh, what’s her name now… erm… I think she’s a she; I’ve not seen her for years. Good innit, Peripheral Neuropath, Duodenal ulcer, Anne Gyna, Reflux Roger, Cataracts Cathy, Saccades, Glaucoma Glenis, Dying Neurotransmitters Nigel, and Diabetes; I may have missed some off this list, so many ailments. And my Doctor has spoken to me on the phone three times in as many years! Twice at the surgery.
I’ll have to find the time to see what all the words mean in the letter. Such as Astigmatic, pinhole, Toric lens, viscote, & decompensation.

I’ve just been for another failed visit to the and saw how the flaming feet had blown up again. Huh, Gragknagles! They’re stinging a bit as well. This morning the water retention I thought was going down so well. The ankle ulcers are both calm, though. Underfoot is tender than ever.
I’ve been very good with cutting down the caffeine; I haven’t had a single mug of tea all day!
I noticed we’d had a bit of rain today.
Val arrived in a quiet mood. Got the meds done in record time. I asked her if she would like the Sourdough bread that was delivered this morning. She pondered and then said yes. Helped herself to several treats; she nearly filled the bag. Hehehe! Took the waste bag with her to the chute.

Produced a late-night mechanical concert for me. Finishing with a worthy thud.

I went into Sherlock Holmesian Mode: I put the computer back on and asked Mr Google: Why is mannitol given in cataract surgery?
Replied: Abstract. 100 ml of 20% Mannitol is given between 30 and 60 minutes prior to surgery, effectively lowering the intraocular pressure and increasing the anterior chamber depth. Ah, I expected as much.

What is Astigmatic vision? 

Astigmatism occurs when either the front surface of the eye (cornea) or the lens inside the eye has mismatched curves. Instead of having one curve like a round ball, the surface is egg-shaped. This causes blurred vision at all distances. You might have astigmatism in one or both eyes. It’s often accompanied by other refractive errors like myopia (nearsightedness). Myopia is caused by an eye shape that’s too long — if the eye is misshapen, chances are good the cornea is too. Well, that’s plain enough.

What is a Toric Lens?
Toric lens implants are one of the most popular technologies for cataract patients with astigmatism. They are designed to improve how well you see without eyeglasses in the distance, as compared to if you had a standard lens implant. Too tired for further concentrating. Glad I did some research into what the words meant. I’m much wiser now.

I got my head down in the second-hand, £300 charity shop-bought, gungy beige-coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner. At some time, I must have got up cause I found this moonshot in the morning. I can take better photos when I’m asleep, it seems. Hahaha!

A magnificent sleep! Six hours straight through! Unless I woke up to take the photo of the moon?

Evening all!

Inchcock Today: Saturday 13th August 2022

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12:05hrs: I was abruptly woken by the mind-numbing regulation jolt this morning.  It took me a few minutes to gather the time, where I was, and who I was! Hehehe! Most annoyingly, because I was having a dream, enjoying a dream. The nature of which may not be suitable for blogging. It didn’t do me as good as it happens; Being torn from heavenly bliss, and believing it was actually happening, is cruel in the extreme. The sadness and disappointment in realising it just being a dream is heartbreaking. However, it’s best not to have such goals in the first place. I may need an extra beta-blocker!

Bootiful moon. I had to lean out of the kitchenette window to get it. Had to take four shots to get this one that was usable for my readers. Har-har! Mother Nature at her finest! Sorry, I could not get a better photo of it; I dun me best!

Closing the window, I knocked a bottle off of the window ledge. Although it didn’t break, it landed on a soft part… my big toe that the foot lady cut yesterday! It had to be a heavy glass bottle, the Squid Vinegar.

I needed a wee-wee, it didn’t seem urgent, so I got the kettle on and nipped into the Throne Room. It was a trickling affair that must have taken five minutes to get rid of a few fluid ounces. Zipping up Little Inchies spy hole, I only just got it down again in time for the after-micturition to drip. Minutes later, the zipper was utilised likewise, and the same thing happened. Which must have been another five or six minutes! Worra life! So I decided to have a sit down as I waited patiently for the leaking to stop.

However, such matters… well, anything concerning the brains malfunctioning, mentally, like; is nowadays down to the Demoness Dementia Doreen, I’m afraid.
Like yesterday’s mind-blank in Bulwell, I think I lost about half an hour of memory. How could I walk all that way to the Poundland Shop without my recalling anything about it?
The worrying bit about this one was when I sort of realised where I was, in the shop, with some products already picked and put into the three-wheeler trolley basket; I didn’t panic at all. I seemed to feel lucky I wasn’t mugged or been run over.

Trying now, looking back, to find any other reason or cause other than Doreen. I lay there this morning musing over this incident and my reactions to it.  I know I had just had a lot of hassle with the Diabetes meeting going all wrong… The farce with the hearing aids and strangers trying to help me, well, they did, and that was heartwarming! But cataracts and deafness made it impossible for me to participate in the proceedings.
Disgustingly, I felt sorry for myself and sulked with the frustration of it all. It was immediately after my departure that the mind-blank occurred. This may be part of the causes of the blanks. I don’t get them often, but each time previously, they worried me. But this time, I just accepted the situation. I started fretting, later on, mind. Hehehe! I hope someone reads this who knows me, and friends and family… no, both of them, maybe then they’ll understand my situation better. The guilt at my self-centred actions is still fresh in my mind – I see that Dementia Doreen has not stolen that memory… Bitch!
There are bound to have been people in that room with worse ailments than I have, but all I could think of were mine. I intend to make some amends at the next meeting, and be upfront, and tell Nathanial about my needing to be facing any talker, even with the hearing aids in, and not facing any light or sunshine, to give my one semi-good eye a chance. And importantly, to apologise to the others for ruining their meeting. If they accept me back, this must be done.
Waffled on a bit there, didn’t I? Sorry!

Up A Bit More Today!
SYS 151, DIA 67 Pulse 72 (Down a smidgeon) Body Temperature, 34.3°f, excellent.
The room temperature was 81°f, and the outside one from the web information was 85f. Another warm one?
Put the numbers on the NHS DVT page and got this graph up. Not the photo of me and writing. That was me trying to be creative.

, Is kicking off early today. Blimey, it must be a big order; it’s been non-stop for ages. Nowt too loud this time, just sounding like annoying tap-tapping and scratching, scuffing sounds. Richard the Caring-Heart may have a rush job on… or not. He might be having a bath. Hahahaha! I am awful!

This on the left is the message I got back from the NHS about the test results. I offered a few comments on their comments and suggested recommendations and actions to take to lower the BP.

Got yesterday’s blog completed; it took a few hours. Posted it off, and I sent the email links. Went to make a brew of Glengettie, and ♫Oh, Susana♫ chimed out.
Samantha came in, and I’m delighted to report she was patient and listened to my tale of woe, from yesterday’s Diabetes Lesson, the mind-blank, the punch-up on the Vale, the foot-lady trying to sever my big toe, patiently! Bless her cotton socks!

I came across some more undecipherable parts of the reminder notes again. Just a line and a half of terrible scribble. Can’t work out many words, but it went like this… No, I’ll take a photo of it, and then someone may be able to read it and let me know. Hang on, I’ll get the camera…
Gorrit took a photo of it, and here it is on the left.
I think the Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters must have been offline when I wrote some of these notes, comical reminders.

♫Oh, Susana♫  burst into life again. It was the Amazon delivery lady with the boxes of various nuts I’d ordered.
Seems like a lot looking at the boxes, but they weighed very little, apart from one.
The delightful chocolate walnuts and white yoghourt cashews were a real treat for me.
The extra unique trial crisps of a sort I looked forward to trying with a certain relishness! Seaweed crisps and Shitakka dried mushroom crisps! I shall report on them after I’ve tried them. (Lower down) Cleared away the boxes to the waste chute and started making something to eat. Using the shortest use-by dates that I could read. Any I can’t read will have to be dished.

Success! Fishless fish sticks,  chips, tomatoes and two oven-baked bread rolls. Not classy stuff, but it suits my essentially lower-class, impecunious, plebian, proletarian and bourgeoisie upbringing. I was ten before I had my first hot meal, and I had to toast that on the coal fire. I tell a fib there, not intentionally. I’d get home from school and do my evening paper rounds to find the chipped enamel off-white bowl on the homemade kitchen sink lean-to, with a couple of Oxo cubes and some mouldy bread. There would be a note left somewhere “Dinner on draining board” Happy days. So this was a feast for me. Waffled on a bit there, again. Tsk!
The eyes are getting tired sooner every day. I’m hoping cataracts can be done sooner rather than later. They played a big part in my getting into such a mess, frustrated, and in the end, having the memory blank at the Diabetes session at the Riverside.

I had the meal and drifted off with the tray and things still on my knee. Got a couple of hours in. The tray was in the same position when I woke up.

Arrived; unfortunately, I’d just taken off my trousers. But Valerie always presses the doorbell, so I had time to get behind the door, wave my hand around it, asking her to wait a while. It’s job gerrin’ owd, innit! I’m not sure when Val is leaving, but I’ll miss her. She’ll miss me too; there may not be treats for her at the care home she’s going to work at. Hahaha!
After Val left for another hour or so, I nodded again, then got up to tend to the blogging needs.
But, being so tired, the concentration and eyes not working correctly – I got into the same pickle with CorelDraw as two days ago. It took me well into Monday morning to sort it out again. So no point in getting my head down now. At least I got some sleep in earlier. Humph!

Morning All!

Odiously ‘Orrible Odes on Ageing

Inchcocks advice and tips, for whippersnappers who think they will live forever, in diabolical ode. You Won’t!

Be Prepared

It’s essential that you prepare, cause nobody else will care…
Unless you’re loaded, with plenty of cash to betroth, spare,
Have you spent it? Holidays, big car and you’ve safaried?
I’m just explaining how it will be for you, not to be morbid…
I don’t mind if my tips are not absorbed…
All a part of living is death, don’t be worried!

Oh, and there’s nothing to say that you should be hurried!
You may find that you could later, yourself bedrid…
You’ll need help if yer on yer own, and feeling dogeared,
Paying for Carers must not be feared…
New ailments will by now have reared…
You can expect this; it’s normal, not weird!

The family may call to help, your bank balance cleared,
Your reputation may diminish, become smeared…
Help might be harder to get; tell them you are disorientated…
You’ll make them a beneficiary, you’ll be genuflected!
They may make you a brew, say you’ve been neglected…
Then you may die of poisoning… they’ll be suspected!

If you own your own house, but not if it’s rented…
You’ll be treated well, as is to be expected…
The not seen for years crowd will be attracted…
Looking for the Will, but it won’t be protracted,
It’s essential to avoid them becoming malcontented…
Pick your times when to tell them you’re demented!

Them topping you, at all costs must be prevented,
Promise each one a little extra, don’t get resented!
Unless, of course, death will make you contented…
Tell them you’ve sorted their money, all consented…
But, remember who you’ve promised, you may get assaulted!
Or, at minimum, your face resculptured!

When the Doctor tells you, the end is anticipated…
You may wish they’d told you later, waited…
Unknown relatives calling will be prompted,
Is his name Keith, Tim, Richard or Ted?
Not that it matters, cause you could soon be dead!

Ailments Roster

Stroke, Cataracts Diabetes: To Be Added

In my young days, ailments that were lurking,
Were Polio, Double pneumonia, & getting a caning…
Not that I’m sorry, but of all, I was ailing…
We didn’t have to put up with too much burgling,
Sore throat, toothache? Meant saltwater gurgling,
We knew nowt about Cocaine or methamphetamine!

In my teens, there were very few ailments troubling,
Of course, romance took precedence; ah, romancing! ♥
I got into it, even went to the nightclub, dancing…
But I broke my leg one night, and I was only waltzing!
For Suzie, should I try dancing again? I was dithering…
But she left me when the Twist arrived, very belittling!

I met a gal from near Berlin… who really got me going!
Grizelda her name, big lass, solid-built and liked her gin…
But she had to go home; I was lonely again…
Oh, sorry, from the subject I am straying…
Not precisely an ailment, but I got shot while working…
Made redundant, unfair, and I wasn’t shirking!

Then the ailments started coming, flooding…
Duodenal ulcer, Arthur Itis, needed a new heart put in!
Reflux Roger, eyesight failing, and I lost my hearing…
Sadly, that was the end of motorcycling,
So I bought Robin Reliant, though it was exciting…
Sat in a car park, a lorry hit me, anger was igniting!

Then peripheral Neuropathy was diagnosed…
Got shot again, then made redundanted,
Life started backpedalling…
But you can learn from my failing!
It’s no point in wailing…
Life is never plain sailing!

When I had the stroke, then I started wailing,
Hospital four weeks, then a home for the ailing…
For five weeks, it was appalling!
Things got worse, they lost my washing…
Gave me no food one day; everyone else was noshing?
I don’t think I’ll ever again go abseiling?

Weeks later, the eyesight faded more, blurring?
Went to see the optician… revealing…
Cataracts and glaucoma in both eyes, they so sting…
Saccades in the right eye never heard of this thing…
The NHS said there is an average of 48-weeks waiting!
Nothing much-going right, or compensating…

Weeks later, I went virtually deaf, hardly any hearing…
In either lughole… both channels were wax-filling…
Since which, four times a day, the olive oil dropping in…
The left worse than the right, ‘Grumbling!’
Not hearing my doorbell tune ringing…
Not the telephone’s ding-a-ling; this’s frustrating!

I took a tumble in the shower, ablutionalisationing,
You’ll get to accept these; they are a part of being…
Doddery, not having yet mastered the walking stick.
Fears and worries will need camouflaging…
Oh, and shopkeepers will try over-charging…
Or more likely short-changing…

With the arrival of Vascular Dementia Doreen coming…
Means problems with organising and remembering…
Dizzy Dennis, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley bothering…
Thought Storms, your brain will need defragging,
The kettles broke, and the toilet is not flushing…
Hopes for the future, you’ll find languishing!

Sock-Glide-Glenda

Sock-Glide-Glenda, to be used after ablutioning!
Very good for bodily parts mutilating…
It can be avoided by not going out, staying in…
But you’ll have to go out to get your medications and gin?
I can assure you, in Sock-Glide-Glenda executing…
You’ll be injured, cut, bruised or exsanguinating!

I solved this painful problem by hibernating…
In the flat, the brain stopped activating…
No perambulating or hobbling… boring!
Although Carers called, to do the medicating…
Some of them like a little chinwagging,
I look forward to the talking Carer’ visiting!

So, Whippersnappers, this you must be expecting…
Keep your wits about you, when Glendaring,
Germolene, plasters and Phorpain gel nearby waiting,
A blood blister, cut, or bruise can really sting!
Worse if you have a boil or carbuncle erupting!
These odes are just tips; I’m not instructing…
Just future problems for you, detecting…
Please don’t see this ode as floccinaucinihilipilificating!

Overview on Inchcocks’ Life

I’ve led a super-fun life; I’m not complaining,
Lived life to the full, wind, sun or raining…
I’ve had so much sex; it’s been disorientating!
Earnt a fortune – I don’t mean to be drum-beating,
I’ve had battles but can’t remember taking a beating…
I’d got through life with faith, honesty and collaborating,
Oh, there’s just one other thing…
This last verse was all me fibbing!

Part of the Inchies Make Them Laugh Ode Series

A Long Hobble to the Doctors – Guess who forgot to take his camera?

I had rather hoped that the last few days, nonsensical mishaps, clangers, errors, Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas, and the accompanying misery they brought; would be bound to lessen, and albeit an imitation joy would return to the Nottingham Lad. Peace would burst out, and joy would reign…

But, No! Although the morning started well, yes, really. Within minutes of waking up, the wee-weeing were on the move again, and that gave me confidence… well, the hope, that the Doctors Visit would go well, and bladder-bother-wise, there would be no embarrassing moments. The bit I was getting a smidgeon excited about was getting out and taking some photos on my hobble to the surgery. It’s been so long since I saw, I mean walked outside the flats.

My main concerns were forgetting to take the camera and not leaving anything on that should not be in the apartment. Cockily…

I thought it would be wise to get the camera into the coat pocket now, along with the bus pass for the return journey as soon as I got my ever-increasing in volume flabby flobby stomached body, from the c1968,  £300, second-hand, c1968, horrendously grungy coloured, eyesore of a haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, recliner.

Whistling to myself! Yes, I was feeling a little cocky!

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I took a snap of the tootsies; they were not looking too bad at all this morning.

Rose up, caught my balance, and responded to the demand from Bladder-Boris, and took a wee-wee, a pain-free one too!. Things had started well!

Took the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), emptied, cleaned and sanitised it, then went to the kitchenette and got some potatoes in the slow cooker. While the kettle was heating up, I took a snap of the view… the sky had an odd hue to it?

Made a mug of Glenettie, and started on updating yesterday’s blog for an hour or two, then went to make another brew, Thompsons Punjana this time, and got involved in washing the thick jumper in the sink.

Got it washed, rinsed, wrung and hung above the sink to drip dry.

The brain engaged, and I remembered to put the camera into the jacket pocket. I even remembered that I had to wear clothes that gave the nurse easy access to my arm… Yes, the letter from the surgery told me to! Humph! Anyway, my being nervous about intimidating Fog-Horn Nurse, I worked out how to oblige. When I get the ablutions done, I’ll wear my sleeveless jacket next to the skin and a thick cardigan over it, so I can easily give the Obergrüppenfureress nurse no delay. Not that I’m scared of her or anything like that… but I am. Hehe!

The Carer arrived a little late, not that it mattered, I have time to get everyone done for going out, the appointment isn’t until midday. It was Carer Richard who came; I was his last call. He’s been called in. Another carer didn’t turn up.

This suited me down to the ground cause being the final call, he had time for a natter with me. Mostly mutual moans over the NHS and Doctors in particular, with some fantastic tales Richard related. I thought at first that our laughing might disturb Herbert in the flat above… which made me even happier at the thought of the noisy, arrogant, taciturn, aloof Herbert being disturbed by my noise for once. Not that I have anything against the antisocial, evasive, uncongenial, phlegmatic, pococurante, gentleman, of course. (I lie well sometimes!)

After Richard left, taking some bags to the chute for me on his way, I got the blog updating finished, then did a little Facebooking. Time to get the ablutions done. Long gone are when I would make sure I’d got half-an-hour to get the ablutions done; it’s an hour nowadays needed. Everything went tremendously smoothly… well, all bar the shaving bit. I’m still confused over this hair-raising anomaly… Hehe!

How come the hair still grows behind my earholes and nowhere else? Hehehe!

I took the Canon camera from the coat pocket to record this little Accifauxpa, then rushed it back to the jacket, and I finished showering and medicationing. Got on the planned attire… Which must have made me look bloody awful. A well-stretched woolly jumper, with a multi-pocketed jacket and no shirt on underneath, which left part of my chest open to the elements, lumpy… but it was warm for me, once I got outside and on my journey. Which you will read, was delayed…

I got the bags checked, nibbles for the Doctors surgery staff, and Deana & Julie, off I went down in an elevator.

THE ELEVATOR SCARE!

It genuinely frit me when I got in the cage with the trolley, and the lift began to move, and loud creaking noises could be heard! And when the brake was applied at the ground floor, a screeching was heard! I thought maybe it was because I had the hearing aids in and new batteries? I was going to call on Deana’s office and would mention it to her. I hobbled through the link passage and through to the office – but no one was in! Natalie from the Care Team came in, and we had a minute chinwagging, and I forgot all about the lift! Hey-ho!

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP!

As I reached the end of the road, to turn right down Winchester Street, so many photographicalisationing opportunities were on view. The new flats being built, cars parked right up on the pavement that I had to walk on the road to pass. The git in a BMW who papped at me… all were begging to be photographed… But No! Who had put the wrong multi-pocketed jacket on, with the camera now in the other jacket pocket? With the cash! Yes, it’s not a tricky question, is it! And I wanted to do some shopping at Lidl and Wilko as well. I calmly spat, swore venomously, stubbed my toe on the trolley wheel, spat and cursed again, and just carried on – hoping I could remember the pin number if I ever got to a shop. I may have cried a little too?

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I’ll try to make the rest of the journey in Ode, but it might not be terrific…

Further down the street, I got almost angry,
Double glazers blocked the footpath again!
I felt bitter and almost insurrectionary,
Back into the road to pass, and then…
Another pap-pap from a driver, an obscenity!
I felt like going and having tea in the kitchen,
Where the hell’s the local Constabulary?

Down and onto Mansfield Road I did turn,
A bloke on a mobility scooter gave me a gurn,
Looked like he’s just left a pub or tavern!
Manners and respect he never learned?

Up towards Carrington, having lost my earlier swank,
I’d forgotten the tenners to swap at the bank!
An Escooter from behind with a clank,
My hopes and respect for humanity sank

Top of the hill, I was tired and feeling a bit queer,
The back was hurting, Anne Gyna too, oh, dear!
After a few minutes, I felt a little chirpier,
On to the surgery, my walking getting wonkier…
Ten minutes to go, not admitted any earlier,
Did a puzzle, thoughts of the nurse were scarier…

Got in to see the nurse, things got zanier,
She sounded as if she was a little friendlier,
“You’ve not bared your arm like we told yer!
She tore at the jumper, she felt uneasier,
When the bare flesh of my arm teased her!
Her bullying attitude got weaker…
But I was unhappier, a proved wrong nurse…
There is nothing much worse…
Embarrassed, I resisted a curse…
Turning to leave, I ricked Back Pain Brenda!
Although it hurt and was very tender…
I got out without any more verbals; things got rosier!
Off to the Lidl store, I did scamper!

Once in the store, I was happier here…
Food all around me cost no barrier…
Escaping the nurse, was summat to revere,
Food shopping, something I hold dear!
With the Carers costs, I should be austere?
But its food, I gave a silent chanticleer!

Although eating can make me podgier, please,
They had in stock of tomatoes, and garden peas,
I got yoghourt, and other things with these,
But I resisted getting any more Derby cheese…
Strong cheddar and apples together, please!

I got out shopping, what a wheeze!

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BUSES BACK TO THE FLATS

I caught a 57 bus to Sherwood, and I rather sillily and expensively went into the Wiko store. They had got some 500ml Zoflora Lemon Zing disinfectant back in stock – Well, that did it! I got three bottles, I’m afraid they were £4 each, Ahem!

It is the only disinfectant strong enough for me to use in the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). I also use it in the event of any Accifauxpas with the bladder or bowel movements. Really worth the extra. If I do have any leaks, the PPs Protection Pants can help, but on the odd occasion, splashes when wee-weeing have been known to spray back and over the carpet or floor. Again this product comes into its own. I leave any clothes soaking in Zoflora and washing soda, or even Citric Acid capsules if I have any in stock, overnight usually, before washing them. A little tip there. Haha!

I got the things bought put away. The Lidl smoked ham off-cuts were far superior to those I had to throw away from the Co-op: they were almost just pork crumbs. And they only had a one-day eat-before date on them. Their beef pasties only had two days of life! I intend to eat those tonight; that was the plan. But I’ve spent so long doing this blog update, it is already gone 01:30hrs! Harrumph!

The Carer came late again, Carole, no not Carole, I’ve forgotten her name now. Tsk! She was not talkative, although it was her last visit. She was so tired but sociable enough without actually proper talking if that makes sense. Still, a can of Gin later, and she was a bit cheerier, bless her. ♥

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Took these shots of the evening sunset.

Then, I noticed a chap or woman down in the end car park area. To all intents and purposes, it looked like he/she had taken a body out of the back of the vehicle. And was hitting it with a stick. I hope not!

Ah, well, must get summat to eat and my head down.

Impure Inchy – Thursday 4th March 2021 Diary

♥ TFZer Actresses on stage! ♥


Thursday 4th March 2021

Spanish: Jueves 4 de Marzo de 2021

23:40hrs: I removed my over-flabbily-bellied body from the c1968 recliner and utilised the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket). A short sharp affair, with a lot of CMD (Cessational Micturition Dribble) to follow.

No messing about, I got on the computer to create a template for today’s blog. Starting with doing a few graphics on CorelDraw. But, I didn’t get too far, the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived, so, off to the wet room. Incidentally, Cartilage Cathy was a lot kinder to me this morning.

It seemed to me that the daily PTDDSB (Porcelain Throne, Daily-Domination-Stakes- Battle) for supremacy in the evacuation was a close thing. Still, a comeback from Constipation Konrad had curbed the rampant messy tendencies of Trotsky Terence for once! So, I had a go at the crossword puzzle as I waited for things to kick-off. Just as yesterday, I didn’t solve a single clue! (Well, I’m consistent, if not capable. Hehehe! The movement started slowly and stayed that way, but no pain or bleeding, and as I said, it was a lot less mess to clean up. I still had to refill the tank by hand though, I think the problem is the fluffy too-thick toilet roll paper.

Back to the grahicalisationing, I went. Then made-up and started this template. Which took me ages to get this far with. Then, I went on to update the Wednesday Diary, at long last. I got it updated fully, emailed the link and went on the WordPress Reader section. Which I enjoyed considerably. Pinterested a couple of photographs, the read and replied to the WP comments that had come in. Some witty puns and quips came on this Thursday.

I was about to start collating the advance templates and realised the hours had shot by; it was time to get the ablutions tended to. As is usual with me, I got into the kitchen and got myself sidetracked once more.

I decided to get the hand-washing done first. But and however – guess who had left the hot water tap (faucet) to run cold? Yes, pickle-brain Inchcock had struck-again! Gawd-blimey, I this far too often! Hence decision had to be made (another Inchcock problem area!) My EQ told me there nothing to do but press on handwashing boiling the water in the kettle and saucepan, for more Whoopsiedangleplops were on their way! He also called me a name, a naughty one!

So, the half-hour or so handwashing exercise took me nearly two hours! Not to mention the scolding of two fingers fetching the kettle to the sink… Oh, I’ve said it! It’s a good job that I was in a slightly better mood today! I washed the long-sleeve jumper, the jammie-bottoms and the pair of long bamboo diabetic socks. The washed ones from yesterday were not fully-dry enough to put on today, so I got a couple of 100% short-ones to adorn after the ablutions to wear.

Then, as I checked the dryness of the other things that were hanging above the kitchen window, with perfect-timing, Peripheral Pete went into an involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler dance routine! This caused me to drop the coat-hangars and the washing I had in my hand. Belt Cathy Cartilages knee against the floor cupboard, and hit my head against the heater getting back up again!

I made a start on moving the stuff back into the cupboard, but soon lost interest!

My new found emotions of satisfaction, semi-contentment and renewed hopes sank without a trace! I took some painkillers and moped my way to the wet room, leaving the clothes where they had fell on the floor, and swearing a little still, got to the wet room, totally uninterested in what I was there for! Pissed-off would be a quicker way of putting things!

Had I been aware of what was waiting for me, I wouldn’t have gone in! The worse Ablution session in months!

Ablutionalisticalisationing Report:

  • I realised there was no hot water to be gleaned from the sink tap for shaving! But felt sure I would manage using the hottish water from the shower-head without any bother (What an idiot!)
  • Have you ever had to keep going to the other side of the wet room, and with Peripheral Pete shaking me about like a good un, repeatedly, bring the shower-head, which only just reaches the sink, and spraying the tepid water all over yourself and the room? It’s not easy! The cleaning up afterwards wasn’t either!
  • The de-nasalising went well. No water needed, you see! One dropsy only!
  • The teeth-cleaning had a bit of discomfort.
  • Then the shaving began. I had to keep emptying the sink of the water that went too cold, turning up the thermostat, and dial, to get as hot that I could from the control panel, but it wasn’t scorching enough, even then.
  • The whole shaving job was farcical in the extreme. Although having said that, there were only five dropsies! A few little nicks and one cut under the chin. One the throat, two in the neck-hole, and one on the cheek.

I got belated Health Checks done next. The Boot’s, made in China Sphygmomanometer’s SYS reading was fantastically low! Grrreat!

At least I think it is; hang on, I’ll check on Mr Google later on.

The in Hong Kong produced, Chinese Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer reading was, I think, a smidge high, but well down on yesterdays worrying high of 37.9°c – 100.22°f.

Since the side-effect-ridden AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccination was given to me a week last Saturday, SYS has also been higher, its the lowest reading today than for ages. I think I might be getting confused here, between the SYS and the temperature? Well, fancy that!

I found an NHS site on Google, where you can put in your reading for SYS and DIA, and you get an instant show of where you stand on the chart, with a black cross! Proof that I was right to worry when the SYS went up to 180 five days ago, well, that was well in the red area!

Gotten Himmel! Look at the time! What happened, where did it go?

I’d better close down and get my pre-planned, easy, tasty (I was well wrong there!) meal prepared. I’m afraid the beautiful looking Iceland bought tin of tomatoes was terribly bland, tasteless, watery. Savourless and unappetising. These Don Holio chopped tomatoes needed a warning giving-out about them for anyone unlucky enough to buy any. The Sainsbury crispy smoked ready-cooked bacon slices were very fatty tasting as well! The last of the sourdough bread saved the meal. A flavour-rating of 4.5/10 was granted. Reluctantly to a degree! Eurgh!

However, and leaving the pots in the sink in cold water to be cleaned when I have some hot water again, in the morning, at first, I was well-pleased that I was in time to watch the channel 11, Tales of the Unexpected episodes.

I stayed awake until the first set of commercials, and Sweet Morpheus visited me, and off into the land of nod I floated.

And slept for four unbroken hours, which was so nice! Ahh!

Irritating Inchie Friday 5th February 2021

And no one better deserving!

Friday 5th February 2021

Italiano: Venerdì 5 Febbraio 2021

02:35hrs:  I woke wearily, unsaddled my over-bellied body from the recliner, caught my balance without, any bother or Whoopsies, and had a wee-wee. Utilising the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), it sank in how late I’d risen back to semi-life. And realised that I’d had… Six-Hours of sleep! Yee-Haa! The wee-wee was of the SP (Short-Powerfull) type, followed by a lot of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

The mind started wandering from one thing to another, as I emptied and cleaned the bucket. But one thing was overriding all others – I wanted, no, needed a mug of tea, so off to the kitchenette and brewed a mug of Glengettie. This thirst, but only for tea, remained with me all morning, by Gawd, I drank so many mugs, it worried me?

Summonings from the innards demanded I rush off to the wet room and pay the Porcelain Throne a visit! So, I did!

A soon as I’d got my bum down on the plastic, I knew this was going to be a session dominated by Constipation Konrad! Things were not going to move easily this time. I tried applying a little pressure, but the pain was overbearing, so I grabbed the crossword book and failed to get any more solutions. Things began, the motion was painful, and oh, so slow with it! Not too messy under the circumstances.