More out of it than with it today, Ideas and plans just fall away daily,
Logic, eye-sight, and hearing fade away.
Dementia Doreen, the brains stowaway…
Is with me every second of every day!
Even when I have a brain scan or x-ray…
Even my hopes are in disarray…
Several times today… and this sounds eerie…
I’ve not been me, but looking at me!
Occasionally this happens, & seems like cajolery,
This scenario holds traces of insanity?
I question my own humanity…
Struggling with the catheter and my cecity,
Losing track, thoughts and memory…
Now the mind-medics say ‘encephalopathy’,
I’ll look that up when this blog has gone away,
Is that owt to do with my Peripheral Neuropathy?
Encephalopathy? It doesn’t mean a thing to me! Hehehe!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Sorry, got a lot on today – up to the neck in it, without the ability to get the jobs done. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – First Wee-Colour Check.
2nd check. Not sure how I got the colour to look silver? Hehe!
The ankles were looking a lot betterer!
The urine colour also looks betterer!
Georges (Asda) delivered the dressing gowns.
The darned valve leaked again on the
Care Kara called, as did Carers… erm… Sam? and… Kara, Jo… maybe Josef… I’m guessing here… What a mess I’m in.
No idea now what happened for many hours. After Asda on the notepad, something about massage evacuation? A tumble? Lost memory, Mind blanks, and Bladder problems, leaking? Not with it at all, here, mates.
Found the George throw on the Carers chair.
Late evening nosh. Veg; potatoes, vegan cheese and butter, Did some baked spuds to add. Think I enjoyed it.
Maybe got my head down earlier than usual.
Woke up in as said above ‘Agony!’ with leg cramps! Trenches and dips in both legs, the right one far worse. After ten-minutes or so they died down, and I realised that the pouch needed emptying… Oh, Dearie me! I lost balance bending down to take the wire off of the valve – the wee splashed over the bucket… mostly on me! Struggled to the recliner to get back upright, and first thing was to get to the wet room, to strip off and wash myself. During which, I dropped the bottle of disinfectant, and it landed… On , on the exact spot where the nail had dug itself in! No doubt about it – I was pissed off… I knocked a selection of the medications off of the floor cabinet… the last olive oil bottle shattered as it hit the floor! At least it missed my feet and toes! I suppose! Back into the main room, and got disinfecting the carpet, threw my cloths in the laundry bag. I continued cursing as I got back down into the c1966, £300 pound, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner. But could I get back to sleep? No!
I lay there full of self pity. A pathetic site, it must have been. I’ve not felt this low for… well, ever before.
Odd slippers? This was thanks to the valve on the catheter pouch going into self-determining mode – and pouring out the urine into my slipper yet again. Mor cleaning up and freshening are required. Humph!
The carer told me I was running out of medications again. Carer Josef said he’d inform the office. Weekend, of course, so nowt to be down now.
I forgot to remind him to take the waste bags and laundry bag with him. I’ll try to remember on the next call.
Bootiful clouds were coming out when I made my next cup of Glengettie. Going a smidge dark, though?
I forgot about asking the next Carer to take the laundry & waste bags with him. I am a prisoner of Dementia Doreen!
The new day catheter, with the ‘Dodgy’ loose valve trigger, at least had some better-coloured urine contents this time.
gave me one of his famously-hated routines just as I was opening a jar of soya pieces for later. Naturally, this didn’t irk or bother me in the slightest. No swearing, spitting, gnashing of what few teeth I have left, or questioning the Lord over my bad luck, oh, no. I took it all in my stride. even when I got a stubbed toe on the Hoover, cleaning the mess up. Grrr!
I either fell asleep for two hours at the computer… or I had a Mind-Blank (Most likely, ’cause work had been done on the Health Check listing that I can’t remember doing?) It was obvious that there would be sunset photos to take tonight. So I did a few close-ups of the nearby dwelling.
And the car park on Chestnut Way outside. Tow spaces are free! Blimey!
Obviously, I had not recovered from the Mind-Blank. I copied the latest Health Check results onto the whiteboard to use them later in the graphic… Then realised I’d erased the new figures from the board and not the old ones. This can happen to anyone; I understand that. But why is it always me? Hahaha! It may be Doreen’s Dementia? Another Mind-Blank? Or the agony I’m currently getting from Little Inchies , thanks to the chaffing from tube inserted in Little Inchy? What am I waffling about? Why?
,
Last call from the Carer, and again I forgot to remind him about the laundry bag again!
There should have been a photograph here; of a marvellous vegan meal that I had. It was delicious! Ready-made potatoes and onion with sauce side. To which I added a can of the mixed vegetables and oven cooked potatoes lumps, done nice and crispy! I was so keen to get my teeth (although I have far left to use nowadays) into it that I forgot about snapping it.
Doing the washing up after dining, and the night view caught my attention…
. There are people out there; what are they doing? Mayhap a little painting & decorating? Naturally, there will be some burgling… Or a family having a housewarming? Is someone opening the latest Gas payment warning? No doubt a few couples physically fluctuating? The police, investigating and exhumating? Gangs of yobboes, selling drugs & mugging? Bloggers on Facebook, evulgating? I’m just sitting here, recalling when I was dating… Grizelda – she’s gone now; very frustrating!
Not that I could anything if she was here with the damned, rotten catheter tube stuck in me. Funny old world! Well, not funny!
No night bags all week, so I have had to empty the day bag overnight a few times. Hey-Ho! Then off to the most popular room in the flat, the room. Another battle is to encourage the evacuation product to evacuate. Haha!
The carer arrived, got the medications sorted and had a little chinwag. Then… back to typo the again. on the way back to the , with still in command.
Got some Apache potatoes in the crock-pot after removing the growth shoots, of which there were dozens of.
AGAIN! Getting fed up with this. Surely thinks, being so solid as they are, you’d expect the visits to be less often, not more?
Made a mug of Glengettie… and took these snaps below.
I enjoyed watching the man and his tail-wagging dog.
Got on the computer… What was going right… well, nothing was real. Memory blanks for words and happenings. Distractions via the agony of the tube in poor little Inchies!!! I think this may be due tri the lack of night pouches. The nurse did say it was important to put the night bag on as it gives the day bag a chance to flow, getting rid of the infection as it did so. That makes seance to me, but no bags have arrived yet. They certainly won’t arrive at the weekend, so the stinging pains look to be contended with a little longer. Then the pain from the evacuating product causes more bleeding from . Of course, agonising pains mean nothing to me whatsoever.
Back again to the Wet room.
Fancy that one of the Enoxaparin needles was bent. Still got in the mould of elephantine stomach both times safely.
Youngsters were spotted trying to make a snow slide for their multicoloured plastic, whatever they were called.
Got another reminder from Severn-Trent!
By gum, the snow’s cleared mighty fast?
Aha, it looks like we might see sundown shortly.
Back Again!
The sunset began earlier than usual.
The sun was going down so fast… It seemed like just ten minutes later… In the first of these shots, just caught the last glimpse of the sun as it disappeared from view. The sunset was all over, just some reflection from the disappeared sun. Not sure if reflection is the right word… can anyone help, please?
Carer Josef arrived, we got the medications done and had a little natter. Which I enjoyed
Carer Jo-Anne – no night bags. Ah, well!
Closed down the computer around midnight and got some nosh sorted
Apache potatoes (7.2/10) Imitation Porkies (6/10) Orange tomatoes (8.3/10) Sourdough rolls… (7/10) Lathered with delicious Flora Soya butter. (9.2/10). (For Billum in Ohio) The average score is beyond my skills at the moment.
I enjoyed it, and emptied the 7th-level rated urine coloured. pouch.
I took this wobbly, blurry shot of the pouch as I emptied it. A bad photograph. Due to my bending and shaking and bad eyes. The colour was, as I said, top, worst graded 7.
Not much gen today. It’s been another in-and-out-of-it day, up and down, and I fell asleep on the computer chair. Carer Carolynne, or Sam, or… came in and woke me, saying I? was slowly slipping floorwards… Hehe!
A smidge of bloody urine in the well-filled bag this morning.
Emptied the bag and bucket, washed and disinfected. Got the waste bags sorted. And called to the Porcelain Throne. Messy! Got the ablutions done, many cuts shaving, but nothing serious. Then… back on the Throne for the second session. Cleaned the floor.
Checked on the lack of food in the fridge. Hope the new bank card arrives soon… then I’ve got to get the details changed on all the sites… Oh, dear. Off to get the ablutions done. No showering; it is too early to disturb folks with the noise of the drain and pump. Had a stand-up job. But it still took me over two hours to finish everything, including Throne visits three and four. (Yes!) Snf that was without doing the teeth (I forgot, Humph!) And didn’t medicate Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, Harold’s Haemorrhoids or even put the eye drops in! I did the olive oil in both ear holes.
Had a mock clean-up in the kitchen. Then, much to my surprise, the Ocado delivery arrived. This was because Ocado takes your money as you ordered (before the card was cancelled) and then compensates you for any shortages within the next five working days, as I understand it.
The good news was that they had sent some Apache potatoes, and bread, lots of bread. I had a job to get it all in the freezer. I pondered on having a can of the minted pea soup with some potatoes this evening. Then realised it was afternoon already. Had I had another Mind-Blank?
Late afternoon, the first snow of the year descended. I tried to get some shots in, despite it being so dark already, with the hopes of catching some snow in them.
Got a few flakes in this one… And this one… And again… Not sure about this wider snap… The snow had stopped by the time I took this one. Carer Kara was here, and as she left, she handed me two letters that had been posted. One was the… The British Gas electricity bill… for £453!
Got some tomatoes seasoned to have some sausages with later. The peas & potatoes had lost favour!
No more snow, but looking glum.
Computer blogging and mistake making.
Oh, not so clear again.
Nosh-Time! (00:45hrs)
Vegan Sausages… And they were Grrreat! Added the links to the tomatoes. Which were seasoned with sea salt, vinegar, basil, and some imitation soy bacon bits too! Sourdough bread to dunk in the tomatoes and dribbled all down the dressing gown. Finding its way between my legs vis the chest and mould of the stomach and onto poor Little Inchies Fungal Lesion. Not only that, but it got onto the tubing and other bits of So sleep was further delayed due to the need to clean up
myself, the chair and change clothes. During this, I managed to misplace my hearing aids. With , and all getting worse, there is no chance of reading the subtitles! So, no watching football on the telly. It took me until about 03:30 hours, but I eventually found the hearing aids. They had fallen and ended up underneath the 1963 Hopewells E-plan cabinet with the doors falling off.
I got the picker-upperer but had to get down on my knees. Why? Because right at the back against the wall, I spotted my missing wind-up torch… three various tablets… the missing ultra-black-ink pen, a letter from British Gas telling me I must update my cash card details,
Getting back up… Hah!
I got settled, took some painkillers, swore a bit and off in a search of around 04:40hrs!
Good morning! Although it was not a great start to the day. There followed some great and careful help from the District Nurses. But the morning Carer did not show up. Ups and downs throughout the day. Betterer than yesterday. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
So far behind, I’ll have to just do the few that I photo’d. And miraculously found memories from the chronically badly scrawled notepad.
CATHETER.
A blown bag of out-of-date chips burst open. I enjoyed cleaning them up.
‘Red sky in the morning – Shepherds Warning!
The pouch fills up quickly.
0845hrs: No Morning Carer Yet. Blogging.
09:15hrs: No Morning Carer Yet.
Decided to take the antibiotic tablet, just in case they do not come at all. (They didn’t) The Doctor said yesterday it is important to take them apart in equal time periods, morning &evening.
District Nurses came to replace the Catheter. I mentioned that no carer had called yet to give me the medications. I was assured that they will be coming. With it already being 11:00hrs, I was not exactly confident about this. They did a good job with the painful (to me) job of extracting and inserting the new tubing and catheter. Working well straight away. Thanked them and insisted on them taking some treats by way of a thank you. Off they went, and I returned to the slow frustrating job of working on this Thursday’s IT.
The new catheter was working well.
11:45hrs: No Morning Carer Yet. Blogging..
Carer Kara arrived later. I thought she had been up to the neck in it and was coming late from the early call, but no. She was not late. This was her mid-morning call. I explained about the antibiotics and my having taken them to keep the important timing right.
Kara gave me all the other medication that should have been issued earlier. We had a little natter as she checked the taps and the stove and took the waste bags with her as she departed.
Tea and porridge, and I watched some TV for a break from computing.
Getting darker earlier.
By gum, changing the catheter has worked as a real treat. Thanks to the two nurses. They sent two because they didn’t believe last week’s crew when they told them how tiddly Little Inchie really was. They do now!
I came over all tired and weary, just like I did the day before. I was so far behind with everything, but I had to just leave it and get my head down. I was suddenly shattered!
Interruptions permitting!
I was soon in the land of nod. Zzzz!
But not for long, for I felt the weight of the catheter pouch as I moved into a more -friendly position in the c1966 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. I’m glad I did, cause as you can see above, the new catheter was flowing smoothly and persistently… which is good! There were only the very faintest signs of any blood, as well.
I think it was who came again. It may have been, and it could likely have been . Or, . I was so deep in sleep that I could not see much at all cause both eyes had fogged up; I couldn’t hear anything, whoever it was said, and with the ever-present ogre of…
Plaguing me in my current half-conscious state, I fear I recall but nothing of the Carer’s penultimate visit. Whoever it was. I assume I was given the medications. I did not as I remember getting out of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, for the whole visit. In fact, did it happen? Was I dreaming? Was someone toying with me in my ultra-sleep mode? Was I drunk – I don’t think I drank any alcohol. Unless it was in an out-of-body experience in my somniferous early evening temporary hibernation with Sweet Morpheus? Fair enough, I had been nibbling; the proof of that was the two four-pack biscuit wrappers I found crammed up my sleeve later. More of the nocturnal somnambulistic activities I seem to involuntarily enjoy?
I was struggling to stay awake throughout the gal’s visit. And was soon back in the dreamland within seconds of the Carer leaving. I was totally done for, tired, drained, and shot! To make things worse, I was aware that with all the visitors, and my lackadaisicalness, I’d not even started the blog off yet! I foolishly allowed myself to imagine I’d get up later and give it a go. It didn’t happen! I wasn’t feeling good at all.
I was not hearing, seeing, or understanding what was going on. And this is the second day of these experiences. I look back now, and a dreadful fear of not coping with Doreen and the ailments, and thus going into a home, scares the shit out of me!
Another deep, preciously removing the worries, fears and uncertainty of life. Bless Sweet Morpheus!
Shortly, and far too quickly, I was woken by the door chime. And in came the sweet Carer Sarah. Her mission? To giveth me medicationalisationings, and, and had soon for me, and set about and to the day pouch. On this rude awakening, thankfully, I was nowhere as out of it as I was on the earlier visit. I was definitely more responsive after I got over the shock of getting up too quickly. The eyes & hearing are still bad, though.
Sarah got the night bag fitted on. She emptied and washed the bucket from emptying the day catheter. Did the medicationings, and we had a little chat. She read some of the dates on the food in the fridge for me too. Bade her farewell at the door, and I locked it.
Then I decided to make a meal. Huh! One-handed, with the stick and night bag tagging along. It was a mistake. The meal was fine, but the mess I got into making it left me bruised and a mess all over the kitchen!
Eating away, enjoying the flavour, I dunked one of the cobs several times. Getting the second one, I broke it open… the greeny-yellow mould spewed out, and it fell with a splonk into the dish, tomatoes and ersatz franks! That was the end of the meal!
SATURDAY 4th FEBRUARY 2023
ANOTHER HORRENDOUSLY TIME-CONSUMING DAY.
A SPARSE PATCHY EFFORT TODAY FROM INCHIE, SORRY.
The catheter contents were locking mighty colour!
Up, Porcelain Throne, wash, and got a mug of tea and the last pot of porridge. Sob!
Care Sarah arrived, and she helped me clean up the spillage I’d just made when the blown bag of seasoned chips blew up! Hehe!. Pouch checked. Little natter.
Hours of blogging until the almost-expected weariness and mega-tiredness arrived. After that, I was drained and not good at anything. (I seem to remember my Dad telling me that?).
Burnt the stew that I was making. Left the kitchen hot tap running. When it warmed up in the PM, I left the damned hot water running in the wet room! Not a good day, and it got even worserer!
Sinking towards frustrated depression here! I went to put the photo’s on this blog, and can it be? They were not there on the SD card.
Then, for three days now, the mind went into muddled mode. Honestly, worrying this is. As I recall, I was washing the pots for the eventual meal I’d made for the second time…
Which wasn’t too bad. I found myself in the spare room, picking through my socks and seemingly sorting them? I carried on separating the short ones from the long ones for ages? It was like it wasn’t me, but a film I was watching? It has to be said Doreen Dementia is winning here! How do I explain this to the nurse next Tuesday; when she does the follow-up interview? Should I mention this or the following farce to her at all?
I actually left the junk room, and I started to make another meal!!! Until waking up on Sunday morning, everything was a blur. Ni idea who or if a Carer came, but the night catheter was comfortable, so I~ think either Sarah or Kara may have tended to it.
A hectic day. Medicationalistically, that is!
I shall reveal only the important & humorous stuff, as time is already running out. (Well, that’s the plan anyway) but I have been known to waffle on. Hehe!
I’ve dealt with the pretty, kind Fall Team’s Lisa.
The Doctor’s Surgery… twice…
The Urology Hospital.
Made two more medical appointments given me.
And failed to arrange lifts… yet!
Here we go…
After another night of sleep-wake, sleep-wake, and sleep-wake… I decided to get up around 05:00hrs – fell back asleep, and was woken by Chiming from the doorbell, and in walked my mate and .
The moment I woke and stretched the one leg on the chair (The other had the catheter on it and needed to be kept off of the chair so as not to trap the tubing), the kicked-off big-time.
Richard, set about getting detaching, then he , and adjusted the straps on the . Gave me the medications and set up the air-fryer for me. We had a little chat while he did it.
The was utilised, and then I stripped off (A horrible thought for you, I know), and I got the done. Medicationalisationings next. Then the painful bit of doing the hemerine . Finally, nearly two hours after entering the wet room, I started the task of getting dressed. This provided the first and of the day.
I was at the complicated stage of using the picker-upperer to get the trousers up over the and the attached accoutrements, and, with its usual crap-timing, a burst out.
I fell against the racking and, almost in slow motion, slid down, hitting my chin on the metal. However, I managed to land on a knee, and it was my left knee; this helped me, along with the walking stick, to get back up onto my feet. Even if it did take me an age to manage it. Also, no damage to the catheter, tubing, bag or straps, either. So it could have been a lot worse. As I was at my smuggest, the teeth started bleeding. It must have been from when I hit my chin on the trolley? A flaming good start to the day! It must have taken me over two hours to complete the , and !!!
Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana and got the computer going.
An Email from the lovely Lisa from the Falls team had to be answered.
At last, very late in the morning, I made a start on finishing off yesterday’s blog.
Herbert above’s short concert of mechanical clanging was short-lived.
Then the lift men began working again. But they were such a lot less noise than last week. Maybe they were getting to the end of the job or more floors down? Got to be done, though.
I made an Iceland order for next week.
The Pharmacy man rang about next week’s appointment.
Then the doctor’s surgery rang; The Doctor needed me to come and see her. That sounded a little worrying! She told me the appointment is for next Monday at 10:30hrs. Around 16:00hrs, I rang Easy-Link to try and book a lift there and back, but the lady said I must call back in the morning twixt ten & noon. But will I remember to? If I forget, or can’t get through, they are not open Sat and Sundays… Oh, dearie me!
I spent hours on blogging duties. It’s amazing how many mistakes, errors, memory losses and losing track that a man can make! All without any effort at all.