Inchcock’s Local News Snippets – Issue 33↉

ODE TO CRIME

Some say crime is committed by the riffraff, the social residue,
And we’re all aware this is in itself, true…
Those who escape punishment are often the true blue…
Bankers, the rich can get away with crimes, so often do!
Anteriority and ruling classes are dishonest too…

But get prosecuted? There are so very few!
Worldwide there is deception, greed, murders, a hullabaloo…
For the Grenfell fire, justice is long overdue…
A Tory Council killed so many people, seventy-two!
Over Grenfell, the councillor’s actions are still under review!
It makes my blood boil and stew…

Why no protests? Cause they were immigrants or a Jew?
From Lithuania, India, China, Pakistan, or Timbuktu?
Misleading claims, lies, and cover-ups, for us to misconstrue,
The brave firefighters dejected, hitherto…
Their ladders were too short, they suffered Deja Vu,
The victims and relatives need justice, but from who?
Let’s be honest; prosecutions are long overdue!

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NEWS SNIPPETS

You can see why they needed so many weapons about…
All of their drugs, it’s worth the law to flout?
Bet they drink champagne, and the police on stout,
With so many weapons, they could give Putin a hand-out?
Every gang member, each one a lout!
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Well, these angelic little Angels would tempt most waverers on the bringing back hanging to reconsider! Don’t they look nervous?
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Can anyone help them?
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He was feeling a little depressed. This can happen to anyone…
Defending himself, is he an arrogant paragon arrogant?
Obviously, money-mad, being a plastic surgeon,
Why not an EENT man, cancer, or psychosurgeon?
Mayhaps he drinks champagne by the flagon?
Has an evening meal of caviar and sturgeon?
His hopes of being found innocent? A smidgeon!
If so, he can run away and start surgery in the Yukon!
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I hope this murdering scumball is not getting paid for his appearance on Gogglebox? I’d bet that he is!
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An Uber spokesperson said: “The safety of riders and drivers is a top priority for Uber, and this is a concerning report. We will investigate this incident.”
Must be more to this, worra you think?
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Result in the minus for the first time in a while!
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Inchcock continues to fail to win in the free Play-To-Win competition!
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These are the latest available records of Nottingham Violent Crime Statistics.
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ODE of UNRELATED THOUGHTS

Peripheral Neuropathy has made me ambisinister.
We’ve got Rishi or Lizzie for Prime Minister…
Either one could prove to be sinister,
I was never much of a student or educator…
But I self-taught myself later…
Which was a disaster…
He hated me… the headmaster,
On the balcony last night, I thought I saw Jupiter,
Taking 10-minutes of wee-weeing; makes me loopier…
Do you think my Arithmophobia…
Would it stop me from getting a job as a croupier?
I think my memory is getting more forgettier!
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Keep Safe.
Cheers!

Inchcock’s Local New Snippets – Issue 33⅓rd

Discuss the case? Pal of Putin?

So, you stab someone in the middle of the day,
Then walk cursing, but casually away…
You get arrested, to your complete dismay,
Charged with a bladed weapon, they say…
They may also charge you with causing an affray.
And you’re released on bail the same day?
What is all this futile legal foppery?

So, a fine will be nothing; she gets £76,500+ a year,
Expenses on top, bet she’s not feeling toeier!
Coming out of court, she looked full of cheer?
Perhaps she’s going to see the judge for a beer?

Oddlimost, no name of the arrested personage. I can’t see one for the victim, either. This is not going to be a straightforward case!

Robbing, hitting in the face, for chocolates, never?
Is he a Putin spy working undercover?
No permanent home, so a bit of a rover?
He doesn’t look thick, but clever?
Likely he’s a cunning conniver…
He should’ve gotten a job and become an achiever!
Instead of getting himself into all that bovver…
No job involving a hammer, knife or screwdriver!
Perhaps in jail, he’ll train to be a basket weaver?
Or find Christ, and become a believer?
Then he just might stop being a skiver?

The man may have been telling the truth at a whim,
But somehow, I feel a little sympathy for him…
His Mrs giving a verbal onslaught to Darren,
He felt depressed, feeling sick to the brim…
He escaped her nagging, if only for a minim…
And the police went a gorrim!

Drunk or not, he should not have been carrying a knife – that should have been five years for the scumball in a proper prison on its own! Four years in a young offenders’ institution? Pathetic! He’s capable of getting drunk and threatening a woman and child with a knife. A coward, although he no doubts believes he’s not.

Mr Woodall knew alleged killer Campbell through his stepsons Kieran and Joshua – with the three men meeting while they served jail terms at HMP Birmingham. All defendants lived in Nottingham. Mr Heywood added. Mr Woodall lived ‘like a hermit’ on the industrial estate, where he had been renting a unit for about 14 years. The three murder-accused men answered no comment during their police interviews, jurors have been told. McGhee gave officers a prepared statement in which he said: “I have no knowledge of the attack on Carl Woodall and played no part in any attack upon him. I’m not responsible for his death or assaulting him. I do not know who he is.”

Tongue-in-cheek response

Hahaha!

UPDATE

Judge Gregory QC: “It will be a prison sentence, of course,”
Vitoldas Platakis, who showed not a sign of remorse…
Killed Valdamara Zemaitiene, not intending to, of course…
They were partners, so there could be no divorce…
He battered her many times, as a matter of course…
He suggested they were having intercourse?
Unintentionally killed her… my arse!.

I’d have liked to win a £260 Amazon gift card…
Thinking I might win one day, I was blinkered…
Freeing oneself from defeat can be awkward,
Success for me is like custard and mustard…
I used to think before my life was completed…
Just once, that failure be temporarily deleted,
If I was to have a win, I would be riveted!
Anyway, my hopes and prayers were not answered!
So now my wishes, not placated, I vacated…
The world of dreams lies ruined and splattered…
But not winning owt, I refuse to be angered,
I can now work on getting other hopes decluttered!

LATE SNIPPET FLASH!

Released while an investigation takes place…
A man who carries a knife, the law, is in a malaise…
Freed, no danger… what if he stabs and slays?
A lot of stabbings in Nottingham; I’m amazed,
Attacking an eighty-year-old? It dismays…
I hope he gets a good fine and serves 5000 days!

Hehehe!

TTFNski, each!

Nottingham News to encourage Tourists

Nottingham News to encourage tourists – February 2015

Comments in green are by Inchcock

Shanay Walker murder accused pleads not guilty

A woman accused of murdering her young niece and cruelty offences has denied all charges against her.BBC02a

Kay-Ann Morris, 24, from Nottingham, is charged with killing Shanay Walker, who was found dead at a house in the city’s Bestwood Park area in July.

Ms Morris, of Beckhampton Road, is also accused of cruelty to Shanay, in 2012, along with the same charge against two other children, in 2011.

A second woman has also been charged with cruelty towards the girl.

Juanila Smikle, 53, of Easegill Court in Top Valley, Nottingham, has been charged with cruelty to Shanay and to four other children, dating back to 2011.

Both women appeared at Nottingham Crown Court earlier, and were remanded back into custody.

A trial date has been set for 15 April.

Horrendous!

Inspectors criticise Nottingham prison violence and poor conditions

Three wings of prison had to be locked down for three days because of ‘prisoner ill-discipline’, report reveals.

Emergency measures had to be taken to stop Nottingham prison from spinning out of control because of unrest among inmates last September, inspectors have revealed.

Nick Hardwick, the chief inspector of prisons, said that a week before a snap inspection in September, three wings at the prison had been locked down for three days “because of what the governor described as prisoner ill-discipline”.

Get caught for the crime – do the time… no longer applies it seems.

Nottingham paramedics quitting as stress levels reach crisis point

It comes as stark statistics reveal that the number of paramedics resigning and taking daysBBC0001 off work with stress has nearly doubled in the last four years.

A total of 87 paramedics have resigned their posts already this financial year, with 6,325 calendar days also taken off work with stress – a huge rise from 47 resignations and 3,151 days off in 2010/11.

And health experts say the workload in the service is just not sustainable.

Not glad to read this in my condition…hehehe

Crackdown on Nottingham’s problem with illegal cigarettes

BBC02aBootleg, counterfeit or smuggled cigarettes sold cheaply line the pockets of crooks.

And Jane Bailey, trading standards manager for Nottingham City Council, said: “There is an issue with counterfeit cigarettes in Nottingham and we are working with our partners within the police and Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs to tackle the problem. We would always urge anyone tempted to buy a packet of cheap cigarettes from a dubious source to think again.

A criminal activity surely brought about by the Governments over-taxation of the tobacco products?

Mansfield murderer Susan Edwards loses appeal

BBC02aA woman who spun a web of lies over 15 years after she murdered her parents and buried them in their own back garden has lost her appeal against her 25-year minimum sentence.

Susan Edwards and her husband Christopher, killed her mother and father, Patricia and William Wycherley, in Mansfield in 1998.

They then spent the next 15 years living off more than £280,000 of the dead couple’s money and creating an ‘elaborate charade’ to make people believe they were still alive.

The pair were jailed for life at Nottingham Crown Court in June, after being found guilty of the murders, and were ordered to serve at least 25 years each behind bars.

They should not have been given an appeal surely?

Three men arrested after a city centre fight which led to the death of a man have been charged and are due to appear in court

BBC01Muhamad Adnan, 22, of Middleton Boulevard, Nottingham, Callum Levi Ibrahim, 22, of Belfry Way, Edwalton and Azeem Khan, 28, of no fixed address, will be at Nottingham Magistrates Court on Tuesday morning.

The arrests were made following a fight in Thurland Street, just before 4am on Sunday morning, in which Joshua Bradley from Bulwell died as a result.

A 24-year-old man will appear at crown court, charged with the murder of Bulwell boxer Josh Bradley.

Richard Johnson, of Belton Sreet, Hyson Green, appeared at Nottingham Magistrates’ Court on Thursday February 12.

Wearing a baggy plain white t-shirt, dark blue trousers, and with his hair in dreadlocks, he spoke only to confirm his name, date of birth and address.

Johnson, who turned 24 just two days ago, stared at his feet, as the judge read the charge.

I wonder if found guilty, will he be given a suitable sentence? Oh of course not, we don’t hang murderers any more do we… just give them a few years being fed and free of financial worries for them then let them out to kill again…

Nottingham ‘loner’ jailed for home-made grenade

BBC0headA loner who lives with his parents has been jailed after police found a home-made grenade in his bedroom capable of exploding and injuring people.

Andrew Bird was sentenced to two years at Nottingham Crown Court on Wednesday, February 11.

The device, containing more than 100 pieces of metal, was found when his home was searched by police investigating him for harassing a 21-year-old ex-girlfriend.

As a result jobless Bird was convicted of harassing her and given a suspended prison sentence.

Nasty piece of work – a suspended sentence – Huh!

Shoplifting mum fined after stealing twice from Sainsbury’s

BBC02A mother-of-two has been fined for shoplifting twice from the same supermarket.

Sabrina McLean, of Longmead Drive, Arnold, stole alcohol and food from Sainsbury’s in Arnold last month.

The 30-year-old pleaded guilty to theft at Nottingham Magistrates’ Court and was fined £75 with £60 costs.

Marlene Domrynski head of the Nottingham Police Retail Crime monitoring team said: ‘In January we had an increase of 65% in shoplifting in Nottingham, this is pushing our resources to the limits.’

It’s rife nowadays!

Shoplifter spared prison and given chance to reform

BBC02aA former heroin user has been given a chance to reform despite shoplifting weeks after being released from prison.

Gareth Freestone, 34, stole two bottles of aftershave worth £50 from Wilkinson in the city centre on January 22.

He pleaded guilty to theft at Nottingham Magistrates’ Court yesterday asking for 18 previous shoplifting crimes to be taken into consideration and was given a 12-month community order, where he must carry out 120 hours of unpaid work. He must also pay £150 costs. Freestone, of the YMCA in Shakespeare Street, was last jailed in November for a similar offence.

Defending, Emma Wyborn said he had previously used heroin but had been clean for five months. She said he stole the items to pay for “everyday things” as his benefits payments had been complicated by his time in jail.

Reformed?

Nottingham Serial Thief

BBC02aA serial thief stole more than £1,000-worth of goods from shops over the course of four months – as well as stealing hundreds from his 87-year-old grandmother’s bank account.

David Brooks, of Manor Road in Eastwood, appeared at Nottingham Magistrate’s Court yesterday after admitting a total of 14 offences, including 11 thefts.

The court heard that the 34-year-old had stolen items such as perfume, joints of meat and a set of knives from shops in Eastwood and Giltbrook between September and January.

He had also stolen £380 from his grandmother’s account using her bank card, and admitted one count of fraud by false representation.

Brooks also pleaded guilty to two counts of failing to surrender to court bail.

Sentencing him to 22 weeks in prison, suspended for 18 months, chairman of the bench Keith Burd said: “We’ve given you quite a good deal. I want you to be under no illusion that if you fail to comply this time, you will not get a forth chance and you will go to prison.”

Scum!

Nottingham murderer still on the run.

BBC03Convicted murderer Mark Stoner-Seed is still on the run more than a week after absconding from jail – despite a nationwide manhunt.

The criminal, who torched a Nottingham house, killing a teenage girl and severely burning another woman, has been missing since Friday, January 23.

He had been released on a temporary licence from a prison in South Gloucestershire, but failed to return.

The 52-year-old is originally from Bestwood Park, and killed 17-year-old Christina Bunning when he set fire to a house in Forest Fields.

I’ll keep me eye out for him…

Two thefts from pay and display machines have been reported, one in broad BBC001daylight, in The Park.

Thieves plundered a pay and display machine by the Ropewalk at 3.15pm on January 11 and a theft from a machine at the same address was reported at 10.07pm on February 9.

In the local area crime update from Nottinghamshire Police, it was reported that a “serious number” of tyres were slashed overnight in The Park between January 28 and 29.

A burglary, two thefts from vehicles and another theft were all reported.

It was also reported that a “serious number” of tyres were slashed overnight in The Park between January 28 and February 5th.

Four burglaries, two thefts from vehicles, one mugging, one stabbing an attempted rape and another theft were all reported.

And The Park is a posh area of Nottingham!

New Computer Game Developed with Nottingham Scenario

CDA01Multi-National company CDA (Clivey-Boy Amalgamated), are to produce a Nottingham scenario for their new CDA Zim-Sity Simulation Game, due for release later this year.

Gaz Topps, Sim-Sity’s senior developer quoted:

“We realised that Nottingham has the fastest growing unemployed level in the country, and saw an opening to increase sales to those with the time to play the game. I feel sure the new more accurate representations of life in Nottingham will find the people of this City responsive to the new scenario which will be available soon.”

He explained further; We will be incorporating more Pay-day Loan outlets, Community buildings, Probation Offices, Charity Shops, Banks, Bankrupt retail outlets, Pawnbrokers, boarded up shops, Car parking meters, Law Firms, Job-Centres, Busker zones, and Drug Treatment Centres along with a reduction in Police Stations, Libraries, Council Housing, and Schools, to reflect a more accurate depiction of the City.

The police scenario module will include muggings, knifings, drug crime, and people being knocked over by Mobility Scooters and skateboarders to give it a more realistic to life in Nottingham angle.

We will also be creating a dedicated City-Centre zone, with public transport-buses taxis trams and cyclist driving on the pavements, emergency vehicles, Pay-day Loan outlets, Mobility scooters, Skateboarders, empty retail units, Parking Wardens, and Shoplifting scenarios.

CDA02We have done a deal with Grzegorz Malobodu Smythe-Robinson Chair of the local Big Issue organisation to allow us to use their logo in the game so everyone in Nottingham can recognise this and become more involved in the game.

It’s taken a while to develop this game and we have had to make further changes as time has passed. We’ve now removed the Police Station that was burnt down in the riots, as well as those closed down.

For realities sake we’ve also reduced the number of Police officers available to despatch to incidents by the player by 300.

We’ve now added a ‘Current Status map’ so players can view their scenario at a click of a button. Like ‘Current Shop lifters in action’ – ‘Big Issue sellers selling’ – ‘Elderly people currently at risk from Skateboarders’ – ‘Elderly people currently at risk from Mobility Scooters’ – ‘Muggings currently taking place’ – ‘Pickpockets currently in action’ – ‘Pay-day Loans currently being transacted’ and ‘Knifings/Firearm incidents currently taking place’. This will help the player to follow and control the normal life in Nottingham.

CDA04

We feel sure that the young computer literate people of Nottingham will want to play this game.

We’ve done a deal with several local Pay-Day Loan companies for them to arrange loans for anyone wishing to buy the game when it goes into distribution.

It will eventually be produced for all computers, Xbox, ipods etc. And should be available at under £300.

CDA03Steedenski Pay-Day Loans of Sewer Lane in Nottingham are offering to reduce their interest from 6,876.40% to 6,200.99% for purchases of the new game.

We are currently accepting suggestions for the name of the game and we are offering a prize for the supplier of the chosen name.