Saturday Diary & Ode: 17th September 2022

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To my cyber-buddy and fellow none-fitter-innerer Billumski!
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I think I had more sleep last night than I have in any week! Sadly, it was all in bits and pieces, broken by being woken and my habit of straying off doing things after I’d needed one of the several wee-wees. Also, some persistent Thought-Storms of an aggressive nature.

But I returned to the doubtful comfort of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner; after each hobble about, or moving things around for no reason, and rearranging of a food cupboard. Why? I anticipate finding other things that I may well have done in my noctambulations later on.

I lay there, pondering over this and that, and anything and the bowels decided to try and evacuate the inner product of its own accord… There followed a sequence of events that were events that were worthy of the Comedy Sketch of a Year Award. I thank heavens there are no CCTV cameras in this flat!

①: I fumbled and bumbled my way up onto my feet; crumbs, the TV remote and a part-eaten packet of pistachio nuts hit the floor and spread all over the carpet..
②: No time for the waking-up to catch my balance routine, I grabbed Metal-Micky, and on the first imitation step, I found one of the pistachio nuts with my left foot.
③: So, as I crumpled onto the floor, my right knee found another escaped Pistachio nut!
④: I went through some pain getting up again, and was only concerned at that moment with getting to the in time… The narrow hallway walls sustain me getting into the wet room, for Metal Micky was laying somewhere in the front room wherever it was, I’d dropped him in the tumble.
⑤: The fight to get the pyjamas down delayed me and caused more panic; I tore them, in the end, to get them down quicker…
⑥: To no avail, I fear! The bladder and bowels won this one! They both started before my bum got down on the plastic .
⑦: At least things were over quickly, but they left me with I don’t know how long to put right and clean up the wet room, then the exit points had to be cleaned and medicated. Fortunately, I keep a supply of the PPs and large kitchen towels with the Germolene and Germolids to hand in the wet room. Along with the aftershave and plasters to steady any shaving cuts or leaks from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion while I’m doing the ablutions.

I can’t understand why now; no doubt it made sense at the time, but I felt a little smug at coping with these embarrassments and decided to get the done while I was in there.
The right knee was not in good shape after its attack on the Pistachio nut earlier. Hehe! in shaving, left me using the plasters and the aftershave to stop the bleeding! Little Inchies Lesion was not leaking; all were okay!   Oh, and the hair at the lower back of the head come neck is definitely growing again – white! I shaved it off.
After getting things all sorted, new PPs and socks (that were a hell of a job to get them on!) on, The right knee was now very tender!  I packed the affected PPs in the disposal bag and returned to get Metal Micky from the recliner room…
When I got back in the room, I thought I’d had burglars! I’d cleared the shelf above the electric fire of all the rubbish, and that had joined the crumbs and food on the carpet! Making it worse, a bottle of disinfectant I keep there for the wee-wee bucket had lost its cap when it got knocked over!
I’d also like to know how I managed to get Metal Micky left right in the corner her the bookcase? I think it would a physical impossibility, surely? Anyway, it was hard enough trying to retrieve it; I had to climb over the many fallen object to get to it – so I used the long picker-upperer. Cunning that, I thought!
I got Micky back with the stick and was almost on the verge of congratulating myself as I turned around and against the shredder. Another flipping moment!

I stopped doing everything. And mountaineered my way to the recliner, resisting crying, and just sat down and spoke to myself as calmly as I could… “This is not a good start. Fair enough, the bladder and bowels are out of your control, as are your fingers, feet, legs, shoulder etc… no good getting depressed, mate; it’s just how it is. What you need is some help when things like this happen. I agreed with myself, called myself a pratt, and did my belated balance exercise.
At this point, I noticed the clock… that was on the floor with all the other jetsam and flotsam – I checked with my watch, and they both indicated it was only 04:30hrs! Christ, what time did I get up then?

I swore to take things calmly from here on today. And tackled the mammoth job of cleaning and sorting things out in the room. I’m not saying I didn’t have a few moments of self-pity cause I did feel sorry for myself once or twice. But found the determination to just press on with the sorting. No rushing, doing it quietly. I got something out of it at the end of the task, I’d got three waste bags full of rubbish to go to the chute. Hahaha! Somehow or other, I perked up a smidgeon, too! It was well gone eight O’clock by the time I’d sorted the mess. Then I made a prayer for it not to happen again for a while, please.

It then dawned on me… the Morning Carer had not been yet? Quick as a flash, I realised it was a Saturday, so no fretting. Meridian was very late arriving last Saturday as well. They do have trouble getting staff at the weekend, it seems. Moments later, a call came in through the landline, and it was from Meridian.
The lady told me that the Carer was outside and could not get in. I took it as she was outside the building and told her to press the intercom 72 and I could let her in… then I thought I’d better check, and I inquired if she was outside the door or the flats? But the lady did not know. I said I’d get my walking stick and go have a look. Got the Wooden Wilmer stick, and I went to the door.
The Carer was outside of the flat door, complaining because she could not get the key lock code to work. I smiled gently, using one of my calming half-smiles, and told her I can’t either! And broke into a broad grin. That did it, I think; I caught her heart!   Hahaha! I explained that the door was not locked; sometimes, I forget to unlock it, but not often. If she presses this button, pointing out the door chime, I will hear it, but not anyone knocking on the door. I’m deaf, senile and decrepit, but that can’t be helped. She did larf! I liked her straight away.

Her name was Sinead, not seen before. I think she was from another assignment somewhere else; that’s why she was late, getting me added to her list. Nice gal, we had a little chinwag. She said she’d come again if she got the chance.

Well, I’ve still not done the Health Checks yet, better get them done. The last time I did them later in the day, the figures were down, so here’s hoping.

Well, that didn’t help much, doing it late, did it? Ah, well, as a part of my commitment to resist swearing, feeling sorry for myself and keeping calm, all I can say is: Hey-Ho!

Time to sort out something for dinner; no bother making up my mind today; I’ve a fancy for some chips and a veggie burger! The chips are oven ones that claim to be vegan. looking forward to trying them.
and Yet again, the photo I took of the meal has evaporated into the ether! I’d love to know how this happens; cause I took a look at it after shooting it and was pleased with the result. Come the morning, when I uploaded the last few photographs, there it was gone! Grrr!
The chips looked very tattie and were thick-skinned, but I did enjoy them all the same. Taste-Rating: 6.5/10.

Arrived, it was Sharon; I knew her name the second she told me after I asked her what it was! (Dementia Doreen again!) She didn’t stay long, but we managed a mini-natter before she chose her treats and departed.

Washed the pots, locked the door and a rinse, and made for the warmth of the rickety c1966 recliner. I feared that I may not be able to get back to sleep and put the telly on… but could I find anything worth watching? No!
I mused over which DVD to watch. Whilst doing so, I drifted off into Sweet Morpheus’ land… Nice!

Two hours later, I woke in desperate need of a wee-wee! The memories of this morning’s facial, embarrassing and painful events came flooding back.
Would I make it to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time without any more Accifauxpas? again, but I got things flowing without any disasters.
Stopping it flowing was the problem! The went on and on… I was almost tired out by the time it ended. Hehehe! I did have a mini during the leaking, but it only lasted for seconds – !

I felt the warm wet sensation when I pulled up the PPs. So, off I limped with Metal Micky to change the pants and clean up.
As I entered the wet room,
I stubbed my toe against the vicious, blood and bruise-bringing, metal, agony-to-use, brutal
!
I’m sure she had moved from this morning; I thought I’d put her safely out of the way behind the mop bucket… I’m sure I did! Now, she was near the sink? Obviously, the work of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! Or maybe .

That was the end of any thoughts of getting back to sleep again!

Thursday 25th august 2022 – Diary, Cartoons & Ode

Cartoon to start with a laugh!

I didn’t get up this morning because I was already up before midnight. Sweet Morpheus is not happy with me and is withholding his services. Hehe! The Swine! I spent a few hours finishing off the Wednesday blog and got it sent off.
Then the sphygmomanometerisationing had to be tackled. What happened with the Photographicalisationings I don’t know; the first one looks like a terribly bad effort! Well, it was! But, the BP results greatly improved over the last four days. Just look where the cross was placed this morning. ♫Way down♫ – as the Elvis song went! Hehe! I liked that later song of his. Poor Elvis, drugs and beefburgers got to him. Shame!

Right in the amber zone! I decorated the return graph in celebration of the miraculous drop in BP! I saw that the body temperature was way down, and it’s been so good lately. I can’t win them all!

Arrived A little earlier than usual. But the lad saw how tired and drained I was, straight away he picked up on it, and he asked what had happened. I told him about the no-sleep night. He proceeded to get the medications sorted, licked up his bag of treats, and said he was leaving early, so I could get back to bed to try again. So no nattering like yesterday, Tsk! Richard said as he left that he was going out for the day with his Sister, So that cheered me up a bit; he doesn’t get out much, good for him!

I got a landline call come in. It was a lady at the Riverside Centre about tomorrow’s Diabetes Defence lesson. The meeting has been cancelled because the room is not available. ? It’s been rearranged fro next Friday instead. I phoned ILC, Warden (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenführeress and Lap-Top Dancer Deana, and she kindly rang the taxi transport to let them know. ♥

I took this using the Lumix camera, as the Canon no longer lets me take photos. I don’t know what I altered or the wrong selections I made when I pressed the go button; I got a beep-beep-beep, and a red icon flashed. Then the camera turns itself off. I’m in a pickle now as the eyes get steadily worse every day, even using the spyglass. Which is not a good idea! Cause if Cataract Cathy doesn’t get me, PN Pete does, and I’ve already dropped the new-‘old’ Lumix at least three times!

Oh, I forgot the photo of the legs I took earlier. Not a pretty sight. But, then again, they’ve been worse, so they’ll do. At least they were not stinging or hurting much at all.

Made a start on this template at long last. And heard that off unrecognisable noise was back again. Sounds like it’s coming from above. It sounds like a motor running, whining. Still, it won’t stop my sleeping… Sweet Morpheus had done an excellent job of that already. Then, made up this Ode. It took a while.

Odes to Sweet Morpheus…

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Blimus! It’s nearly 17:00hrs – What happened to the day? I think maybe I fell asleep in the computer chair. I certainly hope I didn’t have another Mind-Blank. Oh, dearie me! The day’s done for me now. Weird or what?

I’ll get a meal made then. Humph! The evening Carer is due soon.
I took what I thought was a great photo of the meal on the serving tray. But, yet again this time on the Lumix, the photo is displayed on the viewer window. But in the morning when I got to put the pictures on the computer, this one and two others had disappeared into the either? All a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!

Jozeph arrived. Mentioned that I looked shattered, and that cheered me up; Hehehe! He was right, of course. Jozeph sorted the medications and was soon off, kindly leaving me to get some sleep.
I stripped off and got the TV back on to watch a Heartbeat episode. As soon as I felt the eyelids drooping, I turned off the box. And blissfully sank into a welcome deep sleep, Ah!

Greatly annoying but unavoidable; over the next hour or so, I had to get up at least ten times for a wee-wee! Every one of them was of the SSSSAO (Short-Sharp-Sprinkly-Spraying-All-Over) variety. With varying degrees of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling): so cleaning and sanitising were needed on most visits. I was getting somewhat agitated with all the interruptions. And hoped that things would settle soon in the bladder department soon.
After getting resettled in the second-hand, £300 charity shop bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner for about the tenth time, the wee-weeing suddenly stopped. Astounding!
GC sleepAI drifted off into a deep but dream-filled sleep. No specifics about the dreams… but I think I was enjoying them, though. Then…


I woke up due to the pain from Harold’s Haemorrhoids. As my bum hit the edges of the recliner as my body mass was slipping off the recliner!
I managed to stop the humungously overweight clump of a body from leaving the seat fully, But the rear end bleeding was soon apparent. So, up I struggled but made my way to the wet room for cleaning and medicationalisationing of poor Harold’s Haemorrhoids. During this, I did my best to remember the dream again. But no luck. I’d love to have known what I was doing in the sleep that was physical enough to have me out of the recliner? I got my lower rear region cleaned and medicated. Realising I’d lost any chance of getting back to sleep, I decided to stay up. Went to make a brew of Thompson Punjana tea and took this very strange time in the morning photo of the sky from the kitchenette window. Bootiful!

And I got the computer started. A lot of catching up and amending to get done this morning.

I woke up around 04:00hrs; Sat sitting on the computer chair, which is where I’d been sleeping! Ha!

LAST POLITICAL FUNNY

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Inchcock Today Monday 15th August 2022 – With Ode

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Independence Day for India & Pakistan 1947

Up all night again! Rose from the c1968 recliner went to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). Then realised I didn’t need to be there. This was the first time in years that I had not wanted to pass water on waking! Oddly-most?
I knocked nearly everything off of the small ottoman!
This snap was taken after I returned the things onto the top and tray. Turned away and knocked off the two bottles with the walking stick. It could happen to anyone…

I then spent over four hours completing the template for this blog and updating Sundays. Finally got Sunday’s poor effort completed. I posted but had to do so in shorthand. Everything was taking so long to do; time was running out. I’d lost the memory notepad anyway, so even if I had the time, I’d forgotten what had taken place. Good job; there were a few photos on the camera to assist.
Even making the WordPress comments took me well over an hour. And there are only three of them to do. I’m beginning to struggle to see now. Making tons of errors.


I utilised
the blue & white Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China, to take the blood pressure.
SYS 150, DIA 76 and Pulse 75.
My Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™ contactless thermometer was used. With another near-perfect figure showing up. 34.8°f.
The NHS score came up as: ‘
Your blood pressure reading of 150/76 is high. You should check your blood pressure at a GP practice or pharmacy within the next week. I can’t say why, but I thought this reading would be nearer to the amber. Hey, Ho!

A short mechanical concerto from the flat above. A slow build-up using a drill mayhaps finishing with a clattering, then a shuddering clung. Almost musical.

Arrived a little later than usual. The poor lad had been working for over 14 hours. He was yawning a lot, poor lad. But gave me time to listen to my tale of the diabetes farce day at Bulwell.

 I had a stand-up ablutionalisationing session. Some discomfort was involved, but nothing serious compared to the last agony of the Porcelain Throne activity!
❶ Teeth cleaning, these may become my latest ailments, I fear. So tender, teeth breaking up.
❷ The shaving had the usual view nicks, again nowt worrying about.
The cleaning and medicating of rear-end stingers was not too bad,
Both the cleaning and ointmenting of this touchy area were extremely painful. But they are each time.
& combined to give me any shaking, but I avoided toe-stubbing, falls, or banging into anything… 🌟   🌟

The Porcelain Throne was needed as I washed nonchalantly, drying myself off. I was two paces away from me at the time, and I increased my cocky to Grade One. 🌟   🌟
Did I need to have rushed? No! Most painfully, I was still sitting there with what felt like a bazooka-sized shell, half-in and half-out! This caused to bleed profusely and necessitated more sanitising and ointmentasioning! – Treble ! Of course, it didn’t bother me.

Coming out into the hallway, the standoffish, smarmy slob from above gave me a short mechanical blast of noises as if to mock my pain. Has he put a CCTV in my flat? Hehehe!

I got back to the computer and started this blog going. Damned hard work with Doreen and Cataract Kathy both determined that I would not be able to cope with so many errors and cock-ups.
Indeed, they were successful in their mission, For after a few hours, my body and mind were drained. I bet I’ve missed no end of mistakes. Billum pointed some out from the other day. That one involved Arithmaphobic errors. I am struggling. Very frustrated. Would I be able to live without this blog? Ideally, I could leave it alone until after the cataract has been sorted, but… I don’t know.

I stopped and went to make the first brew of the day. Ah, a bag of seaweed crisps with the tea, and just sit and think things through. I intend to have a biscuit, no better not, something less stomach bulging…

Got the kettle on and got side-tracked by noises coming from outside,
I got the Canon and had a look to see if I could find what was making the now stopped din,
Of course, I couldn’t, so I went my get my long-range spectacles,
Could I find them?
No! Dementia Doreen again!
So, I returned to the kitchenette to make the tea. I’d not turned the kettle on.

Put a Quatermass DVD on. Grrreat! More blogging, but only for an hour or so, felt slightly rough, and I sat down in the recliner.
Woke up with the right foot slightly swollen and the right leg more prominent than the left (water retention).  I idly rewound the DVD. and watched some more of the movie. After six rewinds and nodding offs, I gave up and responded to the innards’ rumblings – off to the wet room.  
This session was painful and bloody, just like yesterday’s – but, Hey-Ho!, less of both! 🌟   🌟

As I got back into the front room, I espied signs of Nibbling in my Sleep! Empty, and a partially-full packet of Leicester Cheese flavoured Mini-Cheddars, and a few crumbs. Some suspected of being from the Shiitake mushrooms and Seaweed crisps, but there were no signs of any empty bags.

Hello, Mr Snotty has started on a series of tap-tapping, mostly followed by a thud. Musical Genius, he is!

Got the computer on to update today’s blog, then started on the next News Snippets blog. Oh, look at the time! Where did it all go?

An unintentional little lie lays there above. I got a bout of ditheringisations, pondering and divagating… and changed my mind; (Doreen Dementia allows me to at times). And I ended up working on a new file of Ode words with different endings. For hours! Though I do enjoy it.

Some silly-time in the morning now, going to get some even more belated nosh now.

I poddled off to the fridge to see what choices were in there for a nosh… I think I may have a live-in, or burglar, helping themselves to the fodder. Where’s it all gone? Most likely, Doreen confusing me again.

Surely I’ve not eaten all that stuff? Or did I? All those sliced potatoes, I can only remember eating one of them?
As I opened the freezer, the memory triggered. A rare thing, you know! I take it all back! I gave some to the Carers, and one was out of date.
Got some nosh sorted and two new mushroom steaks, each eaten in a brown cob, with the last of the salad and some BBQ sauce.
The mushroom steaks were not a scratch on the No-Bull burgers. Which Iceland have replaced with these horrible tasteless turds.

Samantha arrived and gave me the medications. Didn’t want a treat; she was busy, bless her. Sarah took the waste bags to the bin on her way out for me.

I tried to watch the Widowmaker film on the telly. Fell asleep so many times it was farcical. So off with the TV, and I was soon in a deep sleep. A weird dream was enjoyed.

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 2nd August 2022

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TUESDAY 2nd AUGUST 2022

07:20hrs: I burst back into the world of woes with the regulation jump, jerk and jabberwockies. Realising how late it was, I climbed out of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner, was on the way to unlocking the door for Carer Richard and I had to nip into the wet room.
The actual evacuation was even easier than the last three days or so. But messier, you can’t win them all.
It was the worry over the water flood in the room that spoilt my pleasure with the rare good Throne visit. The water does not seem to lessen at all overnight, and, I admit, it made me nervous to walk in the water to get to the sink for a stand-up wash and shave. I chickened out. Cowardy cowardly custard! I can remember a year or so ago when the drain stopped working, and my going in to get the ablutions done… Mostly I remember the walking stick slipping in the water and my falling and entangling myself with the sock glide. The cuts and bruises took ages to clear up.

Hopefully, the maintenance will arrive today to have a look at the shower problem. I hope so because I must be ponging a bit by now, going showerless for so long. I’ve just had a sniff… Yep!

Arrived, and I’d forgotten again to unlock the door for him. He was in a rush this morning, so very little nattering was allowed. A inquired about his getting some sleep, but he was down in the mouth as he told me of the 24-hour gas works outside where he lives still drilling away and partiers making a racket again. Gave him some lager, teacakes and a bottle of Inchcock’s Special Brew. (That be a litre of Schweppes tonic water, with some orange cordial added, and stored overnight in the fridge for him). I thought it might cheer him up a bit; I got the first smile off of him as he left, taking the waste bags with him to the chute for me. Poor lad.

I got out the checking gear for sphygmomanometerisationing and the temperature reading.

I thought it was an idea to open the balcony windows to let a bit of fresh air in while I did the HCs… having not had a shower, no signs of any NCH maintenance man arriving yet. The howling wind encouraged me to close the doors again.

The results were heartwarming, all good readings again, and I was back down into the amber zone! The third time in three weeks!

Back on the computer, Cleaner Esther came in to get the laundry things. And she did not tell me off about a single thing! Mind you, she has to come back with the washing yet, so we’ll see. Hehe! She doesn’t frighten me!

Is back at his hobby, making steam trains for charity. I’m not sure if he makes so much noise on purpose or not. Hope he doesn’t kick off late at night again.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the door chime. My heart gladdened and burst with joy at the thought of the Nottingham City Homes plumber arriving to sort the shower out for me… Humph! It was neighbour Josie returning the things from her Sunday-Monday meal delivery. It was nice to see her, but all I said was not heard nor answered; she had not got her hearing aids in. So I smiled effusively and often. I never did find out if she enjoyed the meals or not. Bless her!

A text message came through on my G6 Nokia Lumia 929 Icon mobile phone. Only joking!
I thought it might be from the NCH plumber (again, I am a fool), but no, it was EE trying to sell me some crap for when I go abroad to save money! Another flutter of hopefulness, utterly destroyed!

♫ Oh, Susana’s ♫ tune rang from the door chime. Aha! Is this the NCH plumber? Nope, it was Esther returning. She explained that she was going to South Africa for three weeks’ holiday but had someone who could cover for her. She phoned the lady, Carol, who came to check me out. Nice lady, an ex-carer, and agreed to do the washing for me after Esther had explained my problems. They left together. Now waiting for Esther to return, and she did. She’d spoken with Deana to see what day they may be coming. Deana has reported it. It’s just a case of waiting now… Fancy that!

With so little sleep, I am getting irritable with myself, I think. Not with others, just with me. Not much chance of catching up on the sleep, well, none! I’ve got to stay awake to have the slightest chance of hearing the intercom when they arrive. If I go into the wet room, I can’t hear it, so, no opportunity to address my filthy stinking body with a stand-up wash and shave… risky (tumbles, slips) anyway with water still on the wet room floor… I’m not a winner, am I?

I got creative when I went to make a brew of Glengettie Gold tea. Ailments have stopped me from taking landscape photographs long since. So I took two snaps of the view from the kitchen window, put them together and trimmed them with CorelDraw. This is the outcome: Rather semi-pleased with this.

After making the brew, it had gone a smidge dark, and I took this picture of the wonderful if dank clouds this afternoon.

Good for Esther to arrange cover for her holiday. Time to get something to eat, methinks. So I did!

I knew it would happen. I fell asleep. No idea if any plumbers arrived and could not get in cause I couldn’t hear the intercom. If I can wake up early enough in the morning, before the NCH plumbers arrive, I will have to risk having a shave and stand-up wash and be ready for the ‘Will they come today’ big wait-in. Again!

Sharon arrived to wake me up. Medications given. Cold drinkies from the fridge in appreciation chosen.

On with updating this blog. Then on the WP Reader, answered a mass of comments came in on this blog. Got them both replied to.

The landline rang; it was Nathaniel from the Diabetes Defence Team. It was hard to hear everything he said, but I think I got the gist of the call. He told me to attend the next session on Friday 12th August.  He would stay behind afterwards and talk me through the missed first session. Being aware of Dementia Doreen, I asked him to please rng Warden Deana to inform her, so she can arrange transport – explaining that I feared I may forget to ask her. He said he would, and I thanked him profusely.
Getting back may be dodgy, might need a bus or tram, then two more buses, to get back to the flats. Being a Friday evening, there will be no Wardens or Carer boss available if there are any problems encountered. I am a worry-guts!

I did it again. Drifted of to sleep, and I was woken by Carer Sarah. Who got the medications sorted, and I forced a treat from the fridge on the gal in thanks. ♥ I checked the texts on the super new G6 Nokia phone to see if any messages had come in from Nottingham City Homes about the shoer repair attendance. Nothing on it, so I hope I’ve not missed them. Sarah said they do not call on non-emergencies after 17:00hrs.

Which got me thinking. I could get a stand-up shave and wash when Sarah has gone. I can lock the front door and dive into the wet room, and if I take extra care throughout, can I still get the ablutions done? After dithering a while, I gave myself the go-ahead.
Worra, good session! I carefully blocked off the flood water with a mop bucket, and I pulled the shower curtain over the other area. Then if I wandered into the danger area without thinking, the noise of either obstacle should alert me to the danger – it worked a treat! Fair enough, it did cause a , but it saved me having a tumble. I was proud of myself for once. No bleeding teeth, not a single nick shaving! Yes! And, just a few small flecks of blood from Harold’s Haemorrhoids and Little Inches fungal lesion had not been bleeding at all – plenty of stinging, of course, when I medicated the little unused other than for wee-weeing thing. Hehehe!

I came out of the wet room, a cleaner, sweeter-smelling Inchie. (Aftershave, deodorant, and the smell of Germoloid and Germolene creams helped. Hehe!) And had o go back in for a rear-end evacuation. Always something, whenever I begin to feel smug! It was a delayed action, a sudden swift and spurting movement, and so messy as things got sprayed to amazing distances. Cleaning it up also needed care to avoid slipping on the standing water. Still, I got it all sorted. Grade Two .

I sky when I got into the kitchen, was looking fantasic. I’ll put the earlier shots I’d taken here, with the latest one last. I’ll make the shots a little larger, so they can be appreciated. What a change!

A feast for the eyes. When I get cataracts done, I can really
relish watching them again.

I carried in with updating and posted this blog off to WP.

Then made the Ode below.

Inchcock Today: Monday 1st August 2020

I’m sorry that I woke up!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

06:15hrs: I woke; I wouldn’t have bothered if I’d known what was coming to me…
I was partly forced out of the recliner, but the need for the Throne to be used. It went tremendously well, as it happens, but as I stood up to get the ablutions done, I realised there was water near the shower drain. I checked the power-point, and it was off. The showerhead was dripping water too? Flummoxed, I turned on the power, I turned on the shower, a little water dripped, an alarm sounded, and a red light flashed, so I turned everything off.
I’ll have to ring Deans at 09:00hrs and Meridian about the transport that didn’t come for the diabetes course on Friday.

Got the health checks done. SYS 142, DIA 56, Pulse 76, and the body temperature was 34°f.
The wee-wees were far too frequent for my liking, but there you are; Ageing and ailments, you know!
Put the figures into the NHS DVT check site and was pleased to see me barely in the red zone.

Richard arrived. With the kerfuffle of the shower Whoopsies, I’d forgotten to unlock the door. Tsk! The lad listened to my problems and filled in the booklet the Diabetes sent me with my details. He read something of the small printed advice note to me, but my hearing was not good, and he spoke a little quickly. Understandable, as he had another call to do, he did his best to set my mind at ease… but nothing less than getting the diabetes mess and shower repaired would ease my mind. On his way out, a lovely lad, Richard, took the waste bag to the chute.

I started this blog template, and soon it was gone 09:00hrs, and I could call Deana and Meridian for help. I rang Deana; first, the call was diverted. Then called Meridian, who was also redirected to their head office. I didn’t want them involved, so I rang off.

Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana and tried to ring Natalie again. I did feel a fool – I’d intended to ring Natalie and was chattering away and realised I’d rang Deana! to blame. She resisted laughing and kindly said she would ‘pop in’ later to take a look at the shower. Has a lot to answer for, of course; in my younger days, she was referred to as ‘Going-Potty’, ‘Losing-it’, or Blind Bonkers. Hehehe!

The wee-wees were getting more often, and Little Inches Lesion is getting sore at all the handling he’s having – Please don’t start Bleeding, mate!” I think it could be worse, though. How? At least there is only a tiny bit of, very little .

Another bonus is that the fluid retention in the right leg and foot seems to be lessening this morning. Hobbling about is a lot easier than it was yesterday. Got a bit of colour in the plates as well? Good, or not?
Hello, he’s off again. Thuds, clangs, boings, and the usual tap-tapping concerto from the noise maestro above.

I went into the wet room to see if the floods had decreased. They had, but not by much. The water does not appear clearly in the photographs I took on the left. I must remember to ask the expert in photography if my little Canon camera has any settings I can try when picturing a wet view to see the water more. I must remember.
I took this one earlier when I tried putting the power on, then when the alarms and lights lit, I hastily shut it off. Better safe than sorry.
The amount of water on the floor seemed the same as earlier. I’m not sure the drain works without the power on. Then again, there is so much in life that I’m not sure about nowadays. Mainly due to the stroke and  .

Getting on a bit now; midday coming up. If Deana doesn’t arrive soon to phone for help with the shower, I may have to go without it until tomorrow. The shower is brilliant for cleaning the three daily areas that need doing before medicating. The Little Inches Fungal Lesion, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids.

I made another brew, Glengettie, this time. I espied these two dogs having a sniff around in the bottom field. Their tails did a lot of wagging, Hehe! I was well-pleased with this photo. I zoomed in from the 12th-floor kitchenette window.

Snapped this one of the horizons, seeing as far away as the M1 motorway, just out of view furthest away. Basford, Bulwell, City Hospital, Nottingham Prison, the Romanian slave building, and Sherwood. Within this view, there have been nine murders so far this year. There are flats available here if you’re interested, and over 60? Maybe not, though! The sky was almost cloudless but still beautiful. The clouds increased minutes later.
I tried again to contact Meridian Care (Care? Hehe!) Natalie. I got through and told her that the lift for the Dementia Meeting didn’t arrive. Reply: “Yes, I’ve been swamped and couldn’t get through to them!”  I inquired why I had not been informed. She did apologise, at least. But it’s putting me through a lot of anguish, not knowing! When I explained about my not getting help with phoning and reading, deafness, Dementia, and Cataract’s are making life complicated and busy for me. Natalie asked why the Carers were not helping during the extra hour on Fridays. I knew nothing about this. Again a lack of communication. I thought the charges had gone up steeply. Now I know why. If I want any phoning or reading done, I’m to leave it until Friday each week, with no one available on Saturdays and Sundays. And, the Carers can call at any time from 06:0hrs to 08:40hrs. So how can they phone anyone for me?

Good heavens, it’s bad enough being hard of hearing, having Cataracts, knackering my vision, panic attacks, and Doreen Dementia causing confusion and memory losses.

“How dare they say; “Don’t worry, we’re sorting it”. Naturally, I was so pleased and grateful to hear this. I did stop worrying! – then, not only do they not sort anything but put me in deeper poo with the Diabetic Session transport failure – And not advise me of their let-down? Now, I have got to beg Deana to help me out with the mess and the shower, and it’s gone 13:00hrs, and she has not got to me yet. So, I assume it will be too late to bring attention to the shower today and will have to wait another day at least… Or at best, get a late call which means my already deprived sleep will suffer even more by trying to stay awake; late! It’s not doing my health any good. I am not a happy chappy.

Deana departed, and she is a busy gal. Minutes later, I went to the Porcelain Throne and realised I had not mentioned the flood and shower not working to Deana! So I phoned her and told her. She said she’d call maintenance straight away. So if they do come today, it’s going to be late, and in case they do, I have to stay awake to hear the hardly audible intercom ring when they arrive. If they come tonight, or not, perhaps? I am not a happy chappy. Most likely, it will be in the morrow when they respond. What time is anyone’s guess? I shall remain showerless and stinky, then, I suppose. I am not a happy chappy.

Awaiting the arrival of Meridian’s Natalie, still. If she comes, as she told Deana, she would be doing. Will she be too busy, I think?

Well, I’m going to get some fodder sorted out. Not feeling too bright now, although after Deana’s attention, better than I did earlier. Just maybe some ♫ Food Glorious Food ♫ might help. Nothing fancy, tomatoes and veggie burger should do me. Back in a while… well…
Three wholemeal baps, chips, tomatoes with some ketchup dip, and a lemon mousse dessert.
I put the burgers in the oven, expecting them to be cooked by the time I’d spread the cobs, sliced the tomatoes, and got the plate ready on the tray. Then realised I’d turned the oven on, put the chips (fries) in, but forgot all about the vegan burgers! Idiot, fool, twit, dumbo!

So, ate most of it, scoring 7.2/10 for flavour. Put the food tray down and drifted off into a deep sleep. Until being woken up by ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ from the door chime two hours later. It was Sasha or Sarah… maybe Samantha, but call her Sam. Yes… Sam, I think. Soon got me sorted, slipped her a choice of treats, and did not go with her to lock the door. Why? Well, Deana had not let me know if the maintenance was coming today or tomorrow, or even at all, to mend the shower. So, I have to stay up in case they do call later on tonight.
Christ, he’s banging away upstairs again, at 22:25hrs, now! As inconsiderate scumballs go, he’s got to be one of the most effective! The  Turd!

In other words: Bad Luck Spreading

NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT: They do now!

Droopy, eye-lidded, tired, and struggling to see, I pressed on with this blog and got it posted off to WordPress. Fighting heroically to stay awake just in case anyone arrives to sort the shower tonight. They didn’t.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
THOUGHTS ON THE LAST CRAP FOUR DAYS…


Could any Monday have gone any klutzier?
Mind you, Fri, Sat & Sunday were no cushier,
To get through these days of such mental torture…
I needed a stout heart, resilience and some tincture!
Let downs, failures, and cock-ups have been friskier!

I just want life to go easier and cushier,
The ears and eyes are worse… as is Doreen Dementia,
I don’t expect to get any healthier or fitter…
But why am I in a state of constant dysphoria?
I expect as I age to feel more poorlier…
Why have I contracted Arithmaphobia and phagomania?

I fear I may have also got habromania…
My brain and memory have both caught ecdemomania!
A Covid outbreak in the flat’s got folks in a fluster,
Anymore Whoopsiedangleplops, and I’ll go dafter,
I hope my insanity is only a temporary squatter.
On the bright side… there must summat for sure…
Ah, yes! I’m bald, so, no need to pay for a coiffeur?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
TTFNski!

Inchcocks Tuesday 1st June 2022 – With Ode

Inchies Ode to Failed Wishes

I wanted Mummy to love me for sure…
But crime had caused her departure…
Police caught her in a cottage on the river Nure,
But that was years later, not really a cure…

I wanted to become a competent swimmer…
But I soon discovered that I was scared of water,
I soon got Inchcock as a new nomenclature…
I fought to get into the footy team, the agony I did endure…
But I was useless; I even thought of becoming a friar!

Things were depressing and getting dire…
Then we had a nasty frying pan fire…
Left me scalded, but to the pain, I am no stranger,
The most used word to me was Shurrup! I was a chinwagger…
I once poked myself in the eye with a penny banger!

I try dancing, the Twist and the Conger…
Of course, I can’t do them any longer…
In those days, I was younger and stronger,
And, I was earning some serious wonga,
All of which I’ve spent and have no longer…

Nowadays, my life is a little austerer…
To socialisationing, I’ve become a sightseer,
My ailments often mean that I feel a bit queer…
So when someone relates to me, I hold it dear…
But folks generally keep away, don’t come near!

I became a Headway volunteer…
Tried to give the patients a little cheer
We’d share Monopoly, darts and the odd root beer…
I’ve never been any kind of profiteer…
Eventually, they said I was becoming battier…

Why? was it some form of solastalgia?
I found out it was due to Peripheral Neuralgia,
I was definitely getting a little crochetier…
And my body was getting heftier… fatter,
I decided that this didn’t matter…

With my self-hatred, I felt evermore guiltier…
My calling myself names got much nastier,
If I just accept things, maybe life may come easier…
I even went to speak with the local vicar…
He touched what he shouldn’t. I’m now a nonbeliever!

I still press on, getting wobblier and clumsier,
To avoid depression, I tried to keep myself busier,
Each day I get crappier, creepier, and dizzier…
Even the carers think that I’m getting barmier!
I admit I’m getting poorlier, older and bolshier!

There’s no denying that I’m getting more Clishmaclaver…
Numbers, figures calculation I can no longer figure,
I muse over my fear, praying there may be a cure…
Against the darkness of gloom, I cannot enure!

Even talking to myself, I’m getting more spitefuller…
I can’t reason things sometimes; that makes me mardier…
And my body is aching so, and getting lardier…
My wee-weeing is more frequent and dribblier,
My Haemorrhoids are bloodier and much itchier!

The short term memory is confused, vaguer, muddier…
And used to be such an excellent rememberer!
At this moment, I don’t know if it’s March or September?
Have I put the oven on yet? I’ll have a gander…
No, I’ve not; what else have I missed on my agenda?
Well, I left the hot tap on… frustration and anger!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Diary Tuesday 1st June 2022

  After perhaps twenty jump-awakes, I gave up on the 21st or so and rose onto my feet for a wee-wee at 04:10hrs. Grumph!

The leak was free of Pre and After Micturitional Dribbling. Well, that was something! It sort of got me in an up mood.

I trotted off to the wet room to empty and sanitize the wee-wee bucket, and I got the Ablutions done while I was in there. There was only one tiny nick shaving and two dropsies, none of which caused any bother. A good session as well this time.

Got the Blood Pressure and Temperature sorted out. Despite the lousy night’s limited sleep and unending damned shooting awake, I was not in a bad mood, with a jump almost! They are getting worse each night?

SIA 136. DIA 71 and the Pulse were at 77bpm, I think. Cataracts etc., making it hard for me to see. The body temperature was still slightly low at 33.6°c, but not a lot below the 35.0°c target. It might be more explicit when blogging.

I nipped off to make a waste bag-up and got some potatoes in the saucepan to marinate in the fish sauce before boiling later on. I was on form today!

Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea, and the early morning sky caught my good eye. The cloud looked like it would turn into an alien spaceship and burst into view. I must have got the idea from a film that I’d seen? I’ll remember it! Got some photo’s from the SD card onto the computer. And started to do the Ode Tuesday blog.

200 0 0 Porc I’d not gotten far with the odeing, and the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived from the innards. Trotsky Terence shared control; along with Constipation Konrad; I know it doesn’t make sense. But again, the movement took ages to get started and needed so much effort it was painful with it when it did begin, which wasn’t for a long time. I even got some answers in the crossword! But when things moved, they were cripplingly slow, and the final desperate push exited not rock hard as the first few but messy and gooey? What? I didn’t like that session at all!

Back to the odeing and got it finished at last. Getting ready to review the blog before posting, and ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ Chimed out. As soon as I heard it, I remembered I’d not yet unlocked the door. So, I did!

The look on Carer Richard’s face was with a place in the Tate Gallery! Worth a thousand words. Amongst them would be, “You pillock, you’ve forgotten again to unlock the door!” Hehe!

I was busy on the blogging, but due to a three-hour circumlocution of great vagueness, I can only use the scribbled notes to guess what took place. Here they are as best I can decipher them: Ode… rushing, emailed, Facebooking, WP Comments, WP Reader… Ode for today… Conrad Confusion, mind-blanks… rampant wee-wees…

I checked on the spuds to find that I’d not turned on the heat. Plonker! 

Herbert was not so bad today, not as loud. But still persistent throughout.

Took Strawberries unwanted by Richard to Josie. Got the nosh sorted out. Beer battered chips were great, and new potatoes with BBQ sauce and a ketchup dip pot. Sourdough bread, veg sausages, and tomatoes. Baby banana to follow. 8.2/10.

Still vague-minded, no idea who came… yes, I have; it might have been Cheeky-Charley… Yes, I think it was. Bless her.

Grrreat! I nodded off within ten minutes and stayed that way for three solid hours! Then the jumping-awake started again… Grumph!

Inchcock: Diary & Ode Sun 29th May 2022

SUNDAY ODE

Advice For Whippersnappers – Part 2⅑th

Do no harm, don’t be lethiferous…
Try to avoid being fatuitous…
Resist acting violent, gratuitous,
If you have a win, it will be deciduous,
Good and bad things can be fortuitous…
You’ll seem at times fatuitous, bodacious,
When in the pub… you’ll appear streperous,
But at work, try to appear assiduous…
To try to cover for your hebetudinous,
Avoid drugs that make you feel somniferous,
Have a drink by all means, but don’t get stocious…
I used to do that, but in the morning, I felt atrocious!
Keep taking Covid-test; you can still be viruliferous!
That way, you can avoid capriciousness…
When you get arrested, do not show facetiousness!
And always remember life’s ephemeralness!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

SUNDAY 29th MAY 2022

04:45hrs: Notwithstanding only getting three hours kip, I woke up with the usual jolt but feeling a lot perkier than usual. I went all industrial: Wee-wee, then dressed, and I did the medicationalisationing.

The thigh veins looked so very much improved, and I moved on to washing the tootsies, which were also looking much improved, in the bowl on the floor. Neither of them found their way onto the SDH card? That’s a good start, I muttered to missen! Through to the kitchen to make a Glengettie brew and took a couple of snaps of the red sky this morning.

Soon got the computer on to update yesterday’s blog. But of course, the $23 million a year salaried Mr Fries, boss of Liberty-Global, who bought out Virgin Media for $18 billion, still can’t get a signal to Nottingham that even pretends to be reliable.

So, very annoying!

So, I gave up and went to try to take more photographs of the view from the kitchen window. Hopefully, they will be a success this time. Especially as the sky had reddened more now. I must say they looked almost like a couple of water paintings. Bootiful! And they went on the SDH card this time.

I spent a few moments perusing for figures in the clouds, pareidoliaing. I think there was a face in the lower of the photographs? But I could be wrong… I’m very often wrong, you know. It’s a natural gift I have. Glaucoma Gladys, SAccdes Sandra and Cataract Kathie don’t help.

Back onto the internet. I must send Fries a congratulatory email to get a signal through.

WordPress had the same problem as it started yesterday. I cannot access the comments when I’m on editing, My Home or reading? If I click on the question mark, which is not always there, as you see in this snap of the computer screen, I can sometimes get the list up? Fed up with this!

Started to update yesterday’s blog and altered the ode in it, which, on reflection, was not a good idea. I got carried away on Word Hippo to get some new rhymings that were suitable… three hours later… ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chirped from the doorbell. Cheeky Charley came this morning to do me. Lovely chirpy lass, But the poor gal was not her usual self. Not offhand or anything like that, but seemed a little down; bless Her!

As I pressed on with the blog again, a rumbling from the innards had me hastening to the Porcelain Throne. A lot of painful effort was needed to complete the evacuation, and I had a go at the crossword book while waiting. I also spotted that the condition of the feet and lower legs had improved an awful lot this morning? Not complaining, like! Not as messy as yesterday.

The noise from above was barely noticeable. I hope that the disdainful, dismissive lad is not poorly or in pain.

I got around to drinking my first mug of tea of the day, and it was coming up to midday! I had made four mugs of tea, a Glengettie, Thompson’s Punjana, and now a Thompson’s Signature tea. I let go cold all the others – not on purpose, of course. I allowed myself half of my new daily ration of chocolate with the tea, two squares from a block of milk chocolate. Hehe!

I went through h to the kitchenette to wash the mug and found my feet sticking to the floor! I’d spilt some of the chilli-con-carne, I think, earlier when I was prepping Josie’s Sunday nosh. I bravely decided it needed a good sweep and mopping session…

I got the old spinning mop bucket out of the wet room, freshened the round disc mop, and cleaned the floor. On the heavy press pedal as I was spinning it for the first time! Not sure how I managed it, but it shot back up on me, and off came my foot?

Naturally, it didn’t affect me. A man of my heroic nature, cool, calm and concentrated. With a proclivity for remaining composed, unruffled, and in complete control of myself, at all times. I was totally unruffled… Well, erm, maybe…

I checked on Josie’s meal and moved some of the Chilli Con Carne into a plastic bowl so she’d have enough for a second nosh later on.

Then got on with the mopping of the kitchenette floor. I made sure it was well dried, in case I had to go back in urgently to check on the food cooking for any reason… Now that’s something I seem to be getting short of lately… sense! Hehehe!

Sent off the Saturday blog and made a start on this one. Then sorted Josie’s tray out for her.

Some nibbles and a can of G & T. I actually remembered that she gave me that look last week when I gave her a can of… Oh, what was it? Woo-Woo or Mojito, I think. I think I’ll go into a Smug-Mode again… There you are! Hahaha!

I delivered the meal on time again and got an approving look as she inspected the can of G & T. She said she was on the phone with a friend, so I didn’t keep her.

As I entered the flat, I noticed the three waste bags still there laying on the box. Not taken to the chute for me. But it gave me a bit of exercise. I made another one and popped them all into the chute. However…

Coming out of the room, I had a minuscule, short involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance. It only lasted a few seconds, but the timing was not good as I closed the door. Ah, well!

I turned the oven on and got some updating done on this blog. Took a break to make another mug of tea… I’m determined to get one drunk today! Took a distance and close up pictures of the beautiful looking sky.

The zoomed-n shot was not up to much, inferior quality. But taking it, I was sure I’d captured a figure of a face… but no! Tsk!

I had convoluted to get to look and the WordPress comments.

I’ll get my chips in the oven now; they should be hot enough. Sat and nodded for a few minutes, then got up and searched around for the missing magnifying glass, which had not been seen for months, and the mysterious hidden-away somewhere headphones. No luck with either!

Got my nosh sorted out and served up. The new Morrison’s beer-battered chips were not to my liking. A Flavour raring of 6/10 was the most I could give it. All else was okay. Whenceforth, I’ll try to get only the curry-flavoured ones. But they substitute such a lot. Hence the beer battered, which I did not order.

I was just about to nod off after eating what I did of the plateful, and the ♫ Oh, Susana… ♫, the Evening Carer arrived. Got the meds sorted and was off in a flash. Bless her! No waste bags; I took them myself earlier when the morning gal missed taking them.

Bill Ziegler, I like his style of writing and humour. I checked to see if any comments had come in and replied to them. Then Facebook catch-up… a lot had to be done.

Head down in search of sleep… and, importantly, staying asleep! Well, that was a failure…