Inchcock Today Wed 20 Jan 16: Another day indoors – Constipation returns. Huh!


“Do you promise to pay the bill, the whole bill, and nothing but the bill?”


Wednesday 20th January 2016

01W04I woke around 0400hrs, the tummy giving me grief. I blame the cream cakes and am giving them up, again.

Tried to recall some details from the dream I’d had, but only bits of it came back to me. It did involve falling again as I recall. Not Duncan Robertson throwing me out of the apartment balcony this time. I was climbing into a manhole and found myself in the sky falling through the clouds. I was passing people in air balloons, who were each trying to hand me a letter or form as I flew down passed them? There was a lot more to this dream, but I can only recall vague bits. I was later in an office, an old one, and I was being hit around my head with something?

Eventually, I stirred my loins to get up and was very pleased with my arthritis in the knees and hands not being too bad at all this morning. 

The need to use the throne was evident.

So I put the kettle on and got me medications ready, then paid a rather long and painful few minutes trying to evacuate my innards. The blood poured from the haemorrhoids, and once again like yesterday morning, I thought something was going to tear or rip. The pain was dreadful. So I added a senna tablet to my morning medications, in the hope this would ease things for later.

I still felt rather sanguine with my life in general for some reason.

01W01I started the laptop and took me morning medications.

The screen came up telling me they had updated and added some tweaks to Windows.

Many messages came up as it installed these.

The screen message kept changing, each one telling me not to turn off the laptop.

I went into the kitchen, to make another cuppa and cleaned the top of the cooker.

When I returned, the laptop was still installing the updates.

I returned to the kitchen and sorted out one of the drawers with the none prescription medications.

Back to the laptop.

It was still plodding on with doing the installing.

After an hour or so, the updated Windows started.

I signed in and from what I could see the only difference was the icon for Windows had changed to the outline of a plane?

I did not know how to find out what else had been changed and tweaked in Windows 10.

Can anyone help me with this, please?

I’ve got a Morrisons food order being delivered this morning, twixt 1000 – 1100hrs.

I’ll get a bath in time before it is due. I enjoy a good bath, but not the getting in and out painful procedure! I suppose I’ll miss my bathing when the shower is installed. But they say it will be 4-6 months before that happens.

No doubt, providing I live long enough, I’ll get used to the showering. Joel, the Occupational Therapist, said I’ll need a chair supplying. They will sort that, and charge me for it along with my having to pay for any damage caused cosmetically or accidentally during the installation.

To the porcelain for a liquid exodus, Little Inchy was examined and found to be free of bleeding, and only a few specks from earlier leakages. So things looking good there at last. I’ll keep on with the Dakacort creaming, though, I’ll do him when I have me bath later.

Tessa Smeigh and Duncan Robertson both offered me tips on getting into the old editor on WordPress. I tried their advice; sometimes it works sometimes not.

Surprising how many folk do not like the new editor on WordPress. I might look for another platform if I cannot access it. The old one is so intuitive to use.

Did a bit of Facebooking next.

I had a shave, did my teggies and got in the bath for a jolly good body scrub with my new brush and a fair old soak.

Getting me things on afterwards I noticed the winter wrap around hat I’d bought some time ago, I popped it onto my head and fastened it to see how warm it was. It was nice and cosy with it on, but I couldn’t work out how to undo the plastic locking thingamajig on it! I also put om trousers that I bought from Sainsburys for only £10! They were supposed to be short in length, but they crumpled at the ankles.

I was going to take some nibbles to the Community Shed for the girls, so decided to embarrass myself again and ask them how it unlocks. Tut! 

Got my camera and mobile and as I had the time before the Morrison’s delivery was due, I threw the rubbish bag down the chute, then had a walk to the Community Shed, where Deana and Julie were both ensconced.

Gave them some nibbles and informed them of the progress with the shower for the flat, and the lack of progress with the house sale.

I told them I’d ordered a loaf of Country Sour Bread for them om my Morrison’s delivery, and would drop it in later and put it in the cupboard for them.

P1020888Deana undid the hat/cap for me and showed me how it works. I did feel a fool!

She then took a photo of me in me new hat and trousers so I could post it on here. Shame she missed off my pants – Hehe!

She then explained to me how the flaps join up on top of the head. Bless her.

On the way back to the flats, some tenants were waiting at the bus stop, and I had a little chin-wag with them. I do like living here.

Kettle and laptop on, updated this while waiting for the food delivery.

The Morrisons man came, and I put away the food in their allotted places; i.e. anywhere I could cram them into, Hehe!

I took the bread to the Community Shed.

P1020889No one in, so I put the loaf near the cooker and the chicken in the fridge for them.

On the way back to the flats I took a picture of the apartment block at the bottom of the road (Winchester Court) with the Community Hut in front of it.

Although the sun was getting through strongly, it was still cold with it.

Back in the flat, I made another cuppa, took the midday medications and got on with some graphicalisationing.

NN05I did some graphicationalising using CorelDraw and CorelPaint.

It took me hours and hours to get the something like I wanted.

I posted them on WordPress.I got some smoked bacon in the oven – did some Facebooking then I added the potato slims to it. I made bread thin sandwiches with BBQ sauce. The bacon juices had soaked into the potato farls – It was naughty but so nice!

NN02Hopefully, folk will find them funny and get a laugh, that’s all I want, to make a laugh for someone.

I got some smoked bacon in the oven – did some Facebooking then I added the potato slims to it. I made bread thin sandwiches with BBQ sauce. The bacon juices had soaked into the potato farls – It was naughty but so nice!


Got my washing up done and settled with a book and a cuppa.


Sun 19th July 2015: Inchcock Today: Wot an odd dream, even for Inchcock

Sunday 19th July 2015


He thought it a good idea to fetch some stuff from the old place… Tsk!

Boy did I sleep last night! I reckon I got seven hours in – and only woke up about five times.

The dreams were freshish in me mind, so I wrote notes down from them, I cleared the bedding away, made a cuppa and got the laptop – on to record bits.

I was security guarding again: Massive place no idea where, gatehouse duties, barrier control, lorries, workers, panic, intruders and mayhem when someone arrived carrying a bomb marked with the ‘bomb’ printed on it. There were three or four other officers in the gatehouse but none of them could see the bomb sign? Eventually the police arrived and I got arrested!

At the police station I was put in a cell decorated with pictures of the three-dwarfs and a Wanted poster of me on the inside of the cell door?

I found myself in the dock – with judges or magistrates sat high up on the wide bench with just their head and shoulders showing and I knew them all bar one – a chap with three eyes and an endearing smile? The others included Lynton Cox, Les Johnson, Shuttlecock and Shirley Blamey. My defence councils were Rachel Carerra and Mike Steedenski. Marissa Bergen was with us, and she kept playing the drums at the side of out bench/table every time anyone spoke? No ones seemed to complain, in fact they waited until she’s finished before they continued talking? I the gallery were protesters shouting me innocence, Angie, Tessa and Caroline Bristor amongst them.

They called Patti Berkert as the prosecutions main witness and she proceeded to open her bag and lay-out some lemons a tray and other bits and pieces, sliced the lemons and put them in a tray with other bits and declared this is the way she told me to make lemon scented fresheners for me kitchen, and I’d done it wrongly thus am guilty as charged?

The adjudicators all agreed and I was found guilty. Rachel gave me a hug and Shirley screamed at the bench…

Mayhem ensued and the crowd rioted, throwing sliced lemons at the bench?

Then I was sat in a canoe on a stream waiting for someone to arrive… and fell asleep… I woke up with all the TFZ gals around me?

Then I was on rooftops running away from something, I was jumping over chimneys and between buildings…

That was a different type of dream/s for me.

The odd thing is, in real life I had forgotten about how to make the scented thing that Patti had told me how to. I got some Lemons in yesterday and didn’t know what to do with them and felt a fool, thinking that today I’ll have to email Patti to ask her again.

I started this diary as the rain came down outside – not a lot, more like drizzle.

Attended the porcelain, returned to the laptop and minutes later returned to the porcelain! oh dear.

The hemorrhoids bleeding, little Inch tender and blood in the… well never mind that.

0707cHad a good wash-up and shave – during which I decided to have a walk into Carrington to get some more stuff to sort for this place.

I made sure I’d got me Pensioners Free Bus-pass just in case there was a chance of catching one on me way back – it’s not too bad walking there, but coming back carrying bags can be a bit of a struggle.

0702I got to tend of Chestnut Way corner and thought how nice the view was through the gap in the trees/bushes. There are allotments immediately below where I was, and some of the residents in the flats have one. Council owned, don’t know how much they cost to rent.

0703I turned the corner to go down the Winchester Street hill and what a state the bus-stop was in!

They should take some DNA from the cap on the seat and find out who’s responsible and deport them to somewhere nasty.

plodded on down the hill, through some side streets onto Mansfield Road and on into Carrington – the rain started again in earnest.


0704Got in the flea-pit and sorted some togs, cooking gear, computer stuff – even found more paper work that need sorting, pile em in me two bags.

Oh, and a pot of old £.s.d. coins – Gawd they were heavy.

Also a letter from the Bank had been delivered, and this after I’d been into the bank, last Monday I think it was, and changed my address with them? Must check with them again when I get into town.

I thought at first I would not be able to carry these all the way back to the flat – but hoped that a bus would be coming on Mansfield Road to lift me into Sherwood and make it easier.

0705The wasn’t one.

Just one passed, going the other way.

The rain was coming a bit stronger now and I began to regret going for the things to sort. But it is the only way to get the so…

Got down the hill and cut through behind the library coming out on Winchester Street Hill.

0706A lady who passed me going down to the Hill had the right idea: Taking a brolly with her I thought.

Then realised I’d got my pound-shop brolly at the bottom of me bag, but no hands free to use it!

There was a bus stop on Winchester Street opposite where I came out onto it.

How fortunate for a change, a bus was due and came within 30 seconds. A lifesaver that, I got on swiped me free bus-pass and got off at the next but one stop closest to the flats.

That saved me struggling up the worst part of the hill with me bags. I was very lucky too – the buses only run every hour and a half on Sundays – mind you, that’s better than the L9 from the flats, they don’t run at all on a Sunday. Hey-ho!

I poddled up the last bit of hill and into Chestnut Way to the flats. As I approached the doors, key swipe in hand, I espied some Wood pigeons and got some seed out of me bag to feed them. But they flew off before I could get to the seeds.

Walked to the lobby doors and could I find the keys?

I walked back to where I stood to watch the pigeons but could not see them on the rain-soaked floor anywhere, back into the lobby entrance and started to take stuff out of me bags searching for them. Eventually found them in with me togs what I’d brought.

Avoided a Whoopsiedangleplop there – Phew!

Got in and up to the flat. WC’d and put the bags in the front room with all the others that need sorting – no point in doing any that need storage until I get the carpets and furniture sorted.

Made a cuppa and updated this tosh.

0707aOpened the bank letter. This informed me I had £2.95 in my Smart Saver Account!

I had a job containing me excitement I can tell yers!

Put hearing aid inserts in soak, washed the cloths and started to clean the paint splattered by painter Paul on the electrical wiring from the heaters – but the walking with the heavy bags had taken its toll on me knees and I couldn’t stay down for long, so gave up.

Checked me emails.

The rain has stopped now I’ve got back in – but the wind has got up – blowing on something awful in the kitchen now! And the only help I got from the wardens was ‘Others stick an old top coat in the hole’ Tsk!

I saw on Streetlife site a lady locally was selling a walker for £20 good as new it says. So I replied saying I was interested.

I was cooking me nosh int oven and a text message came in from a lady selling the three-wheeled walker with a  bag on it – £20. So I rang her and explained I wanted it but would have to phone me mate to see if/when he could collect it with me. Said I’d ring her back. 

Rang BJ and he said he could do it tonight around 1900hrs for me. Rang the lady back and confirmed it.

DSCF0163Me nosh was ready – had a job getting the oven clean afterwards mind – but a better job of cooking me smoked streaky bacon this time, and the potatoes were grand too! Possibly me best to date since being in the flat. Rated 8.6/10.

I was so excited at getting the bacon right I forgot about the beetroot.

Washed up (Wot a job) and then updated this diary.

Did a search for where the ladies address was. A few minutes drive in the car either way.

Tired already.

BJ rang on his way.

We to go down to meet him – forgot me hearing-aids and I’d got me reading glasses on. Went back and changed glasses and put me hearing-aids in. Tsk!

Met BJ just down the road and he soon got me to the place – nice lady lifted the machine down the steps for me. BJ put it in his car for me. Paid the lady and thanked her.

BJ offered to lift me to the old place to pick-up the shredder – thanked him and we did.

Back to the flats, BJ sorted the things and dismantled the shredded so I could carry it in on the wheelie.

Got in and had a drink of spring water, WC’d and laptop on to finish this diary, cause I am well tired again.

Sorted the paperwork I’d brought from the flea-pit a bit, ready for proper sorting in the morning.

TTFN all.

Of lists of love and hate (challenge)

Of lists of love and hate (challenge)

TessaThanks to for nominating me for this one!

Now I need to put my thinking head on, and that’s not been used much lately, and actually think!

Hehehe, just a bit of fun like.

The rules are quite easy:

1. Name ten things you love

2. Now name ten things you hate

3. Nominate!

What I love…..

1. My laptop

2. Blogging

3. The Internet

4. Microwave sausages

5. The people on the Troll Free Zone on Facebook

6. Cyber-friends

7. Helping those worse off

8. My Free Pensioners Bus-Pass

9. Sociable people

10. My pipe – even though Doctors say I can no longer smoke it

What I hate…..

1. Pavement Cyclists!

2. Me Ailments: Dodgy ticker, reflux valve, haemmorhoids, skin cancer, bowel cancer, Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna, high blood-pressure, cramps, stuttering, partial deafness… better stop, I’ll run out of room! Hehehe!

3. Politicians

4. Anti- social elements of our society

5. Taking/making decisions

6. Cruelty to animals

7. Bullies

8. Being handicapped and unable to do certain tasks

9. Being nervous of my own shadow

10. Being alone, although I have been for donkey’s years now


No obligation to do this – but it might let you release some built up feeling by releasing to the world your dislikes! Hehehe!