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Inchies Ode Today was inspired by Timothy Price Photographer extraordinaire and Jolly Good Cyber-Mate
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It’s been an… erm, er… well. an interesting month so far.
I’ve been given a rubber wristlet for DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). A Diabetes rubber wristlet. These will decorate my wrists along with the On Warfarin, Allergic To Clopidogrel, Hard of Hearing, and the new last week, Dementia alert bands. The Cataract – Vision – Impaired one has not arrived yet.
I’ve checked the box of the options on the Doctor’s letter. In answer to the Question: Where Would You Like To Die, at Home or in a Hospital?
Now after the initial rushing me into the hospital when I woke up with blood coming from Little Inchie and the Haemorrhoid-ridden rear end.
I think this was four weeks ago. The Paramedics took to the QMC, A&E.
Where the medicos must have forced two gallons of warm water down my throat to get the wee-wee flowing through Little Inchy, as opposed to Catheter Cathy’s Contraption. I had the catheter put in and taken out about six times, which for me with Phimosis and the Fungal Lesion – not to mention having the smallest willy I’ve ever seen (I’ve seen ten-year-olds with a bigger one than I). This is why the in and the outing of the tube were so painful for me. And it really was testing my pain limit… mind you, it still is at this very moment. I was on the computer and listening to the new tenant’s TV blasting away upstairs. (I assume. He or she might be getting the flat sorted, which accounts for the occasional clunks and thuds. Herbert Mark Two? Haha!
No problem, though; I’ll get used to it. Just take out the hearing aids.
They did bladder scans, and some on a big machine. But gave up and sent me to the City Hospital Urology Department. Patience Ward Two.
Where Patience was at a premium. Urology was just as baffled as the QMC staff were. They had the catheter in and out over the next day, at least eight times; despite gulping down at least two gallons of water, getting to use Little Inchie for wee-weeing was a failure. They (Urology) summoned me back to have a… I’ve forgotten what it was called now.
Ah, I’ve got it now (just looked it up on the Internet). A Cystoscopy, a CT scan of the urinary tract, and a urine culture. Still, no reason was found, so the catheter has now been on for about 4-5 weeks. The walk to the Doctor, half a mile at most, took me nearly two hours! I had to keep stopping cause the pain was so bad. I got the surgery, told the Doctor, and hose said: “Talk to Urology”. It’s great to be so cared for, innit?
Anyway, since the tumble I had getting on the trolly at the hospital, week one: I had another fall. Week two: two Accifauxpas. Week three: Just the one; it wasn’t a bad one. Week four: Three tumbles, and two, one seriously, walking-into-solid-objects. The wet room door, and then the junk room door frame. Which started 
and produced a 
, that had me over – but I fell on the two bags of laundry that has not been collected. I’m glad they were days late now. Hehehe!
Today, the wee-wee into the bags seemed a little better. I reckon I’ve emptied the 
around ten times! And the blood in it was far less than yesterday’s was.
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Maybe… perhaps!
The 
attaching did not take place. No Carer arrived to attach it for me. I believe they were struggling with staffing problems and possibly the hospitalisationing of another tenant. No bother, I kept waking up overnight anyway, and I remembered to check the small day bag each time. Emptied it three times. No sweat!
.
With all the nocturnal activities of emptying the pouch, I didn’t get up until 07:30hrs. Little sluggard! The was at bursting point, I managed to get it emptied before any disaster!
arrived as I was making a brew. Got the medications sorted, and he helped me ready the bin bags for him to take. Said how busy he was. Thanked him profusely.
I left the hot water tap running again!
The pain from Little Inchie was still bad and stayed that way all day & night. 
and cobblers!
then 
Came at teatime.
Late morning view.
and later came.
Hyper-One Again.
Mid-Morning views.
A lot of white cars?
Catheter emptying. Nice and like colour this moring.
Magnificent Sunsetting this evening!
Catheter is ready for emptying.
Is that a twinge of blood in there, I see?
Sunset bying down…
Eerie colours changing…
Still beautiful…
A minute later, the last blast from the dying sun…
Looks like a two-tone of blood in the Catheter…
That’s a better piccy.
But look at the blood in it!!!
Argh!
Started emptying it – rich red blood…
Looks to be thinning at the end…
Almost bubbling now? Can you see a cat’s face in there?
Starting to make the evening Meal and, 
arrived.
He was looking fitter tonight but not a happy laddie. But soon cheered up when he got the new night bags to put on the day pouch. These ones had the plastic grip so you could hang them up. Sorted the medications, and we had a little chinwag. Np putting the world to rights, but we did manage a bit of cheer for each other.
When the night bag was on, the blood started to flow in dribs and drabs.
But, oh so slowly.
The long extension tube often stops the flow, and I feel the build-up in my bladder, and have to shake the blood through.
Richard showed me how to use the Air-Fryer, and he put some alphabet potato letters in it and left to get on with his other jobs.
Fifteen minutes later, the fryer gave out a ping that, luckily, I was in the kitchen to hear. What an alarm timer with one ping, and that was my lot!
The potato letters tasted great, all crispy on the outside.
The spuds I did in the slow cooker. The tomatoes were just about acceptable tastewise (Italian, not good this time of year). And the ersatz mini-franks were surprisingly excellent! Soya based methinks
Got this blog finished and posted off. 
TTFNski, EACH!
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Took this to catch the shadow of the flats.
The mist thickened l
Got a pot of porridge out and put it on the counter to remind me next time I make a cuppa, to have it for a late breakie. Hehe!
Took this shot of Chestnut Way.
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I ate most of it. Hahaha!
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06:25hrs: I woke up with a shudder and judder and immediately got stinging pains in the knee from the catheter.
I used the picker-upperer to get the night pouch from the bucket. Well, not much wee-wee went in there last night?.
as I pummelled back onto the recliner.
arose. 
Most conveniently, for once, as I was about a foot away from the Throne at the time. I anticipated another messy, gooey, sticky, clingy evacuation, as it has been for the last four days – but no! Good heavens, I’m having a mixture of good and bad luck now! I barely needed the toilet paper
.
Carer Ty did the next two visits.
Helped me with checking the Catheter bags. We had a nice natter for a short time. I think I was out of it when she arrived. According to the guessed-at wording on the notepad, I was not sure what I was doing in the wetroom when she arrived? I think!
Nosh. Feeling more with it now; no Ty coming again, bully. Oh, yes, he’s on the late check call, and in the morning… Humph!
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Early morning shots.
Health Check Log
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.
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I put a lot of the seasoning into the beans.
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03:30hrs: I stirred, with a degree of hesitation, a definite desire not to get up and face the world. A reluctance like never before. Indeed, I tried to get back to sleep – but the inevitable need for a wee-wee, followed by the almost thrice-hemerine Porcelain Throne visit, forced the removal of my elephantine body from the grasp of the second-hand, £300, charity shop-bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner. And off to the wet room.
The evacuation started as usual of its own accord. But it stopped part the way through the process.
Had a quick wash and clean up. 
I got the spy-glass to check on the urine colour. Not too good today, rated as a six on the NHS chart.
I put a potato in the crock pot as I was mashing the tea.
declared the arrival of my mate and 
Getting the stuff put away took me two hours – Honestly! The Christmas treat bottles for the Carers arrived, and I’d just given the last of the others to Sam. Got them in the cupboard under the computer, so the others can take a pick their choice.
The Microwave had almost been covered with food. Hehe!
The only room on the sink side was used up as well.
And from the one box, BBQ sauce, more veg sauce, orange cordial, and the BBQ Beans Micro Grain that I enjoyed so much last week. The Winiary Przyprawa seasoning that I’m trying for the first time. I couldn’t read the contents even with the spyglass – so I looked it up on the web.
(Monosodium Glutamate, Disodium ‘5 Ribonucleotides), Vinegar, Glucose, and Flavourings (with Celery). I wonder what the secret flavourings are?
The sauce cupboard got special attention today.
moment when I ordered them… I may have overdone it a fraction in ordering so many bottles.
I belatedly got the 
tackled.
bouts earlier and three bad 
incidents. The last one was while I was putting stuff in the freezer from Asda. Had I not been in that spot when it came, I could have taken a fall and landed forward on the floor. Luckily my landing against the fridge was far less hazardous. So, I’m going to take my time in the shower and try to keep near the grab rail. Also, be weary when shaving and dressing. This could take some time, but I’m not bothered, let it. Better safe than sorry.
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caused more bleeding than ever before.
the one head-butting of the power box, which was nothing serious.
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shame because this is my last tube. 
!
I finished the medicationalisationings and got dressed.
dressing gown.
.
, on the corner of the floor cabinet as I went down on one knee, caused by a short attack from 
, just as I had one leg up off of the floor (talk about timing!) and setting off 
!!! 
I got the BBQ beans in the pan, and I added half a jar of 7-Meditterrraean roasted vegetable sauce and gently heated it up slowly, stirring all the time. Well, not all the time, cause I had to go back to the wet room for a quick wee-wee…
And it was lovely. Even if I was missing my favourite ‘Heartbeat programme on the TV. Hehe!
. I was very slow-witted and tired. It may sound odd, but doing ablutions with all the attached Whoopsiefangleploppery, Accifauxpas and cock-ups, I believe, took a lot out of me. Poor old sausage! Hahaha!
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05:30hrs: I stirred, and as I began to move, I could have sworn that the room was full of people who stood around drinking, like at a party around me! Oower!.
I got some spuds sorted for the crock-pot. Rubbed in some Ben’s smoke flavouring, let it soak in, and placed the dish on top of the microwave for later use.
I went all industrial and work-ethically minded; when I remembered Sister Janet and Brother-in-Law Pete were coming later.
Next, I tackled a bit of cleaning up on the mini-hallway.
Once able to, I rose and went in to make a few of Thompson’s Punjana tea.
arrived. Now I had three voices to confuse me…
or 
turned up. I was in a mental pickle. Unsure of what happened then, but I recall going to the elevator to speak to Jane & Pete and thinking I’d forgotten why… no, I’m sure I forgot. I was well-confused by then.
Ah, yes, I recall it now; we (Jan, Pete and me) went on the balcony; Pete said they had to park at the end of the buildings. I suggested we take a photo of it. I did it on the Lumix, and Pete used his Samsung Galaxy S22 Ultra, £2005 mobile
Our missed penalty, by, of all people, Harry Kane, was a heart-breaker.
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06:30hrs: After a much better night, only jumping a maximum of five times, I stirred and took a wee-wee.
lift arranged for the Doctors visit for me. A good lad is Richard. 
growing of its own accord, and the bladder pains burst out again, but only when I stretched or bent and got up after sitting down. Then, after all, we’d spoken about, I got the 
. At the same time, the 
Another mess to clean up and bag things. I had gone from an appreciative of getting some sleep when I woke up – to a… what can I say?
continued. How am I going to get out to get some money from the hole-in-the-wall thingy?
arrived, she tried to call the 111 lines to ask for advice about bladder problems but could not get anyone. Bless her for trying.
Well, another good one for the record.
This time, I managed to avoid any naughty, messy, annoying, angst-making, and costly time-consuming 
I tucked into the belated meal.
But not for long. 