Inchcock’s wobble to Nottingham, in the rain. Wet-through, Water-logged, and Wringing-wet. Hey-Ho!

Inchcock’s wobble to Nottingham, in the rain

5Fri08

Got off the bus with some help from a stranger, walked down to town,

Galloping Horses were swirling or spinning around,

But no one riding on them, I found,

Damned shakes, I dropped the flipping camera on the ground,

Retrieved it painfully, and took some more shots from around.

5Fri09The overcharging food stalls, cooking their repast,

As Nottinghamian’s, just strolled past.

5Fri11The Nottingham Slab Square, It’s always there, It looked a right mess, to be fair!

5Fri12Off I plodded, to the Poundland Shop, 

T’was only a short little hop,

In search of drain unblocker and other codswallop!

5Fri13I entered the premises, soaking wet,

I bought too much stuff again, not to fret,

I still had a little money left yet,

I gave the helpful lady, a thank you, she is a pet,

And gave her a can of Gin & Tonic!

5Fri14Paid-up, and out into the rain again,

Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna were giving me a little pain,

Determined, to resist depression,

Mind you, I had indigestion,

And a slightly confused brain!

5Fri16On to South Parade,

Dizzy Dennis visited, unwanted,

So, progress was delayed,

He soon dissipated,

I was glad but amazed!

5Fri017I took a photo, down Exchange Walk,

Not many folks having a talk on their phone?

People all around, yet I felt so alone,

Chewing gum littered where the folks walked.

5Fri019aI hobbled, struggling with the three-wheeled trolly-guide,

Through the Exchange arcade,

And out the other side,

For these stallholders, I’m afraid,

Not much money will be made!

5Fri20King Street in the rain, showed another Council pain,

Yes, chewing gum on the pavement again!

I bet they don’t have this trouble in Bahrain,

I view ditching gum on the floor, with disdain!

5Fri22

5Fri23I crossed to the other side of Long Row,

Got under alcove-cover to take these, don’t you know,

The only permanent retailer was busy serving, on the go,

The folks in the rain, well, it’s better than snow!

5Fri24I was well wet, and a little cold,

Not good for me, now I’m getting old,

Good job I’d had my flu jab, the anticold,

Despite the rain, I had to be bold,

So I dashed, wobblingly, to the bus stop, wet and cold!

5Fri25T’was bleak on Queen Street, waiting for the L9,

5Fri26And the hands didn’t look very fine!

It didn’t look like it was mine,

But I mustn’t whine,

I mused of things like Mnemosyne,

Then took a moody picture, it came out fine!

5Fri27The bus arrived, and it brought on a smile,

It’s coming eased my cold and chagrin,

I went to get on, missed the step by a mile,

A bloke picked me and the trolley up, and helped us in,

I was alright after a while,

But this trip out, left me needing Codeine and Amoxicillin!

WDP 09L

 

Vital Advice for Nottinghamian Senior Citizens, Part one – In Rhyme, of sorts

BNC01

They’re dangerous, uncouth and some are blind,

The ignorant swine are uncaring, and what’s more,

They often hit you, coming silently from behind,

Leaving your hand arm or elbow, feeling sore,

They test your sanity, patience and mind,

They’ve no warning bells or horn, that’s for sure,

Belting along the pavements, they are a bind,

It’s no use if you beg and implore,

For them to leave more room, not be so unkind,

The few who reply, use sneers, curse-words obscure,

To roads and cycle paths they should be confined,

Their insults, two fingers you’ll have to endure,

Best to use your walking stick – hit ’em on the jaw!

BNC02

But that’s no solution, not a good idea, you see,

Cause they are young, fit and violence-loving,

They offer scowls and are threatening to me,

Some ride at me, I have to do some manoeuvering,

Which ain’t easy with the walker to push, you see!

Empathy, sympathy, and understanding they are avoiding,

Making this old fart, run and flee!

 Taking their photograph may get me a beating,

But don’t give up the struggle, become an attritee,

Join me on my hobbles, bring a Glock, that’s the thing!

BNC03

They don’t scare me though… well, not too much.

Alright, the law-breaking and getting-away-with-it ‘Gits’ do!

Inchcock Today – Saturday 20th to Sunday 21st April: The Oaks Residential Care Home

ZZZZXX1f

2019 April 08

The Oaks Residential Care Home

Saturday 20th to Sunday 21st April 2019

Malay: Sabtu 20 Hingga Ahad 21hb April 2019

Saturday 03:00hrs.Rose and got the shower and shaving done, readied the washed earlier foot controller-pad ready for help with being put on. Wrote pas for staff to get some disposable razors and a newspaper for me sometime and asked carer if this would be possible. The answer was now, not today. The radiators in the hallway outside the door started rattling, clanging and banging away.

Pete called, I called him back. Asked if he could bring some aftershave for me on his next visit (Still waiting) with him. He said yes.

12:50hrs, egg sarnies and a cake for the meal. Settled to watch some Carry On Films, beginning with Carry-On Don’t Lose Your Head The radiators began clattering and banging again. Some engineers in attendance to try and mend the problem. Which continued.

Got the dizzies. Had a veg-curry and rice for my nosh. No dessert. Feeling bilious, but it cleared later. No sleep due to the now louder than ever radiators clanging away.  They calmed down then, but they were still giving some noise out.  Casino Royale watched on the box, medications given.

The radiators changed to sound like a slow turnover diesel engine.

Then watched the Men in Black, film as some cars were racing each other outside. 

Sunday 21st 03:00hrs. The radiators in the hallway outside the door started rattling and banging away, waking up several tenants. I got up and had a shower and shave. Got the foot controller-pad ready for help with being put on.

At 04:00hrs the radiators changed to a tune like a battering ram.

Shave and shower Still awaiting the aftershave. Thus more nicks and cuts acquired. Jan and Pete called. No aftershave yet, still waiting. Radiators changed tune to like a throb-bang-shudder routine. Karen bought my medications. Nosh was a hot dog with onions (Tasty!) 

The ankle-pad was applied by the delicious carer.

Radiators altered to a noise like chug-chug-bang routine.

Arguments and bad language at nosh-time.

Then changed to a sort of Dub dun-dun rattle, with the odd bang thrown in. Later, changing to a persitent Ratatat, thud bang. But very loud now!

Inchcock Today – Wed 27 Mar 2019: A diverse, niggly, oddly-most day!

ZZZZX12

2019 Mar 27

Wednesday 27th March 2019

Scots Gaelic: Diciadain 27 Màrt 2019

WD 0.0.255c 23:54hrs. I woke up reluctantly. A throbbing headache and Shaking Shaun and Dizzy Dennis toying with me, all at the same time. I lay there, feeling a tad dispirited and waited until things calmed down. Shaking Shaun let go of my body first. Dizzy Dennis later, but the headache remained, throbbing away. I remembered I have the food delivery coming twixt 06:00 > 00:700hrs. No blood test this week. I felt there was something else to be aware of, but could not pinpoint it. Eventually, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. I manipulated my grossly over-stomached body free of the £300 second-hand, ci1968 rickety recliner, and off to the wet room.

3Wed001The legs and feet felt much improved this morning, (not the knees, they were Arthur Itis affected in the extreme) as I walked far easier than of late. The evacuation went well, despite it being of the mini-rugby ball style. Made a nice change that did, Hehe!

The legs knees had lost a lot of warpedness, the lower shins had gained some blue tinge spots, many blood papsules seem to have disappeared, and the pale anaemicness had been replaced with the yellow pigmentation again. Still, it is interesting to find out how and what on the pins has changed each morning. Hehe! It took my mind off of the throbbing head for a while.

Got the kettle on and the Health Checks done. Sys 145, Dia 78, Pulse 78 and Temp 35.1°. Took the medications, then I  got the computer on and began to update the Tuesday blog.

Hours later (without any wee-weeing!) I got it finished and sent off. 

To the kitchen to make a brew of tea. I took two snaps of the morning skyline through the unwanted light and view-blocking windows with the glass that it is impossible to reach to clean. The first one I used Gold Auto mode, the second, Green Auto mode? The green was far closer to how the sky actually looked.

3Wed05a1

WD 0.0.255c Well, well, well. It had to happen because it hadn’t happened for ages now. I stubbed my corn toe on the edge of the cupboard bottom. Naturally, being the refined person I am, there were no cursing, swearing or unhealthy words uttered. (Fib Mode Detected!) Hehehe!

I made up a Morning Thought ode and graphic for today’s Inchcock Today. I may well be a poetaster and baviaan (a writer of insignificant, meretricious, and shoddy poetry), but I love writing it.

I began this post and got as far as here on it. Aha, a wee-wee needed. Ten minutes later another was required. Both of these were of the SNSWW (Short-No-Sensation-Wee-wee) variety.

I went on Pinterest to put some photographs on, then to Facebook.

Tended to the ablutions next. Which went well, no shaving cuts, Harolds Hemorrhoids not bleeding, no toe stubbing, and no knocks or bruises… well, at first anyway.

WD 0.0.255c The fun and games (pain and agony might have been a better description) of getting the new Amazon bought, men’s diabetic long bamboo-fibre socks with stretch non-tight tops on, proved dangerous, harmful and more effort than I would have liked! But all the same, if you could have seen my efforts, you would have been in tucks. Even I was! The right leg was not to difficult, and idiotically, I let a touch of ‘Smugness-Mode’ creep in. The real show was with the left leg. I kept getting up to rest on the right leg while I got the sock rolled up ready – and it kept springing off, repeatedly. I gained two new bruises and a scratch, as the leg clouted the floor cabinet corner, the floor and once the Porcelain bowl! Finally, I changed tactics and lifted the leg with the sock in hand to try to avoid 3Wed05a2resting it to get the sock on – got it on and fell backward hitting the back of my head on the door! That did the headache a lot of good! Oy Vey, I’ll be glad when the sock glide becomes available for me to collect from the surgery. But when that is likely to be, is anyone’s guess!

Still, once I got them both on, I found they were very comfortable and came up above the knees.

Just leaving me with the concerns about them off later, to worry about! Hehehe!

WD 0.0.255c Unfortunately, I found the socks were creeping down below the knees minutes later. Humph! But, I’m getting used to living with my being pitifully accident-prone and luckless. I suppose I’ll just have to accept that I’ll never enjoy oblectation or success ever again! Grumph!

I made a brew and got on the computer to update today’s badinage, while I waited for the food to arrive.

WD 0.0.255c Dang me! I’ve got earache now to accompany the cephalalgy! Tsk!

3Wed0607:50hrs now. The Ocado order is due between 07:00>08:00hrs.

I looked out of the unwanted light and view-blocking new kitchen window, with its unable to access areas to clean, to see if any signs of the delivery could be sited. Nope! Just a line of tenants parked cars, none reversed into.

I had a look at the Ocado site.

3Wed07

It seems they are having problems. Order status, ‘We are preparing your order’ it said? Not good, is it!

08:15hrs, no food from Ocado yet?

I went on CorelDraw.

WD 0.0.255c What a plonka! I’d ordered the food for the evening, not morning! Tsk! So now I have to stay awake if I can manage it. Globstuckenists!

I got the things ready and went to the Nottingham City Homes, Winwood Heights, Hauptbereitschaftsleiteress Warden’s Temporary HQ. Sarcasm & Insult distribution area. Tenants Socialisationistical Meeting Shed. Telling Inchcock off Zone. Where things like crockery and pottery get stolen 3Wed05a1afrom, Rumourmongering Clinic, and somewhere to rest while waiting for the bus, Portakabin.

I called to see Frank on the way out. Jenny is still very poorly.

I felt terrible for Jenny and Frank. Off to the hut. Running the gauntlet of vehicular dangers.

3Wed08WD 0.0.255c No one in. A few tenants arrived, and I had a chinwagging session with them. But, Dizzy Dennis attacked me, and the Porcelain Throne summoning visited again. So I decided to return back to the flat and not go out today. I wasn’t in a good mood or feeling on top form anyway. As I went through the lobby, I spotted a washing machine was not in use. I got up to the flat ASAP, Porcelain Throne duties carried out, then back down with the washing.

Back up to the apartment and had a we3Wed09e-wee, then back down with the crossword book, to the lobby.

Got the washer going, and had a natter with some people who I did not know for a while. I moved the gear to the dryer.

Doris and Mo, then Gaynor arrived and stopped for a chinwag and laugh. I had another a go at the crossword puzzles, with the help of Malcolm and Mo. Well, they laughed at my failure with the crossword. Hehe!

The headache and the knees and feet were all giving me hassle. I was getting irritable with myself, and feeling so tired again. Not getting out, didn’t help I suppose.

Got the dried stuff folded and in the bag. Cleaned the filter and drum, and up to the flat. Not in a good mood for some reason, still getting irked at myself.

I set about getting the meal prepped when the phone rang. IT was Sister Jane, who had left her phone on loudspeaker, and I could not understand much that she was saying. She took the speaker off, and things improved. “Will I be in on Friday around 10:00hrs, as she and Pete would pay me a visit?” I explained about the possible Emails. I am expecting about the sock-glide, the GUM clinic, and the Kidney appointments, all to give me a time to go to the relative place. She told me to ring her if I was not going to be in. I agreed, as was too nervous not to. Haha! The mess she will see in the flat will not go down well.

3Wed10I got my clothes off and the glorious old slippers on. Then the computer on to update this blog. (You watch it, someone will call on or ring me now!) 

Got the nosh sorted out and served up.

Chips with stewed steak and a sourdough baguette to soak up the gravy with.

3Wed11Got the nosh eaten up.

 Not one of my best efforts. 5/10 Flavour rating. Washed the pots and got in the second-hand, £300 ci1968 recliner to watch some TV.

WD 0.0.255c Determined not to fall asleep and miss the late Ocado delivery… Zzzz!

By pure good luck, I woke at 1830hrs in need of 3Wed12a meg-mega, slow trickling wee-wee! And realised I had to rise, get some clothing on, and get ready for the food delivery.

Which came at 1920hrs.

I found that the tray of five Sicilian tomatoes had now gone up to… wait for it…

This will surprise you, it did me!

3Wed12aa£5! Cor blimey! Love a duck!

I got on the computer to update this diary.

I got as far as here, and just had to stop and get some kip.

No doubt about it, a diverse oddlymost day!

 

Why Inchcock’s Confidence is at an all-time low. An Ode, laugh and a truth”

1Mon06

Thoughts that Inchcock considers as vital information to pass-on to the younger generation, in a bid to help them decide when to top themselves.

Knowing what is coming to them in old age.

Here starteth the THOUGHTS of WOE

My confidence is at an all-time low,
Things I need, disappear, memories don’t flow,
What’s right, wrong or real, where to go,
Sometimes frustrated, I’ve a wee-wee overflow,
I can’t play an instrument, trumpet or piano!

I fall asleep anytime, anywhere, stunts my workflow,
A bag-of-nerves, no confidence, I’m going loco,
Will I ever regain my sanity? I just don’t know,
Losing my mobility capabilities is a severe blow!

Just some of the programmes I miss watching, though,
Red Dwarf, The A-Team, Heartbeat, Boon & Columbo,
All on Freeview now, but I can’t watch them though,
I can’t stay awake long enough to watch a TV show!

I eat foods from Idaho, Sesotho, Mexico, Morocco,
Montenegro, and Puerto Rico, as my stomach, does grow!
I can’t see my feet when stood up, you know!
Lost Faith in Muslim, Christianity, Gnosticism & Shinto!
In Tellurians, politicians, banks, and Boll-Weevils, too!

Getting up in a morning is a pitiful, painful fiasco,
As are bending, stretching and lifting things is also,
But the mental side, the brain burst into a crescendo,
But no ideas, aims, plans, designs or manifesto,
Always, I use the feeble excuse, “I’ll get it done tomorrow!”

In depression, moroseness I will often wallow,
Meekly go along with others, revealing no bravado,
The only solution is a brain transplant to undergo,
Then I can take lessons, in Judo and Aikido,
Become a Champion, a success, make lots of dough!

Go on TV with Richard Attenborough,
Defeat my enemies, crush my foe!
Become admired, a local hero!
Get a job in Santa’s Grotto!
Or should I just get blotto?

Just a few of the daily ailments below that you can expect.

I didn’t put the Kidney stones, blood poisoning or Mental Decay on the list for fear of making it sound a tad too bleak for the ankle-snappers!

1Mon07

Inchcock Today: Mon 31st Dec 2018: Best if it is forgotten! Humph!

Dec 31 2018

Monday 31st December 2018

Monday 31st December 2018

23:40hrs. I woke and stayed where I was, preciously perched half-on, half-off of the £300 second-hand rickety recliner. The mind deep in muddled, confusing thoughts. I spent a few moments trying to reclaim some recollections of the dream I knew I’d been having, and that it was not pleasant, could no memories were found lurking in the brain-box. Various bits came to mind for the day… The Asda (Walmart) delivery is due twit 06:00>07:00hrs. Another jet of wee-wee was building up. At least on the Furesomide, although the powerful evacuations cause splashbacks and a little pain, at least I get some warning beforehand now. What time is it? (Good heavens 2340hrs!) The fluid retaining legs feel a lot easier this morning. Hello, a Quick visit from Dizzy Dennis and Reflux Roger is kicking-off. The stomach is rumbling. Why are some of the Papsules bleeding? Maybe I might have been scratching them during the night? Did I take last nights medications? (I found out I had later, Phew!) I wonder if Nurse Nichole will do me today at the blood test? I mustn’t forget the Doctors appointment either… on and on the mind waffled to itself!

WD128.0.0 When I eventually tried to remove my hog-like body from the recliner, I felt Inchies Fungal Lesion crack and bleed, at precisely the same time a message arrived from the innards, telling me to get to the Porcelain Throne without delay! (I recalled at the time, thinking this does not bode well for the day’s fortunes, circumspection needed methinks. Hehe!)

WD128.0.0 Avoiding knocking anything down or any toe stubbing, I was off of the chair and got to the wet room and onto the Throne. (The legs felt a lot better, but the left ankle was giving me some grief) The splattery evacuation was all over within about ten-seconds! The cleaning and medicating of Little Inchies lesion took about ten excruciating minutes! Humph!

WD128.0.0 Another slight Dizzy Dennis spell as I left the wet room. I went to the kitchen to take the medications. Adding an extra Simvastatin to counter the ever-active sticking Roger Reflux valve!

1Mon01

Made a brew of good-strong Assam tea, and had another LHBLWW (Long Hosepipe-Blasting like Wee-wee).

WD128.0.0 While sitting at the computer making up the above graph of the INR Warfarin test results… I felt itching on my back, just below the neck, and it just had to be scratched! Which turned out to be somewhat of a problem for me, as I could not reach the spot that needed attending to. I tried up against the corner of the door, but this was very awkward and painful as I could not control the amount of pressure I was applying.

1Mon01aWD128.0.0 Then I tried using the small ‘picker-upper’ stick to apply some Germolene cream and have a good scratch at the same time, but this proved to be a bloodier approach to the problem! Hehehe!  Puzzled by what it was I was having a go at, I set about manipulating my right hand with my right hand and forcing the hand to reach to the area. I had a feeling about the session and decided that it was small boils that were the problem! I guessed at this by the blood and yellow/greenish puss on the tissue. Now, I have discomfort from both arms, elbows, wrists, and shoulders as well! Klutz! I’ll give the area a good rinse after the shower and try to apply some cream on it.

Another LHBLWW and I got the weekend diary post finished off. It was sad reading when I edited it, but a few times I found myself laughing out loud at my own antics. Hahaha! I sent it off to WordPress.

I went on the WordPress Reader section.

Made a start on this blog. I thought about having a bit of brekkie but resisted.

Had an SSWW (Short-Sharp-Wee-Wee) for a change? Then another one, five minutes later, Tsk!

Got the ablutions done early, no showering of course yet, too soon.

The Asda man delivered at 0615hrs.Thanked him and got the fodder sorted, after yet another SSWW!

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Got updating this blog, and consumed the Raspberry Ripple later on.

WD128.0.0 Shame it didn’t taste like I remembered it did. Ah-well, likely the old gustatory cells stiff out of sync or tilt, with the ailments being like they are?

1Mon07cI got the baked beans in the saucepan with the seasoning, to marinate for use later. I’d decided on beefburgers for nosh today. I’ll buy some while I’m out.

At 0800hrs, I took the black bags to the waste chute and deposited then.

Got to think things through now. Dr Vindla at 11:20hrs, INR Blood Test at 12:00hrs, must remember to ask about the QMC appointment to see if they have it yet. Being holidays, I imagine it will be a few days before I am advised. Can’t be helped.

1Mon07bTook my shower and got things ready.

WD128.0.0 A quick snap of the morning view from the unwanted new light and view-blocking kitchen window, a fumble around to see if I’d forgotten anything. Glad I checked, I’d left the tap running.

1Mon08Off I trotted, down and out onto Chestnut Walk.

AS I limped along, I was overtaken by a few other inmates. I was limping along even slower than usual this morning. A tinge of jealousy overcame me, seeing the others getting a move one s they belted by me. Hehe!

I called into the Nottingham City Homes, Winwood Heights, Generaloberstesses Wardens Temporary HQ. WC, Rumourmongering Clinic. Sarcasm & Insult distribution area. Tenants Socialisationalistic Area. Telling Inchcock off Zone. Crockery and pottery to be stolen from location, and inmates porta-cabin, and managed a natter with a few others, but they were apparently in the same mood as I was, and poorly with it. They also looked a little the same as me, in appearing to look so tired-out. Bless us all!

WD128.0.0 Disastrous news was given to me, that revealed perhaps, why the gloomy looks were on the faces of my fellow inmates… The L9 bus service is being taken off! Some of our residents were told this by the drivers. I am hoping and praying it will prove wrong. How do we get to the shops, surgery, blood tests and clinics without transport in bad weather?

1Mon09I got on the bus with the others and dropped off on Winchester Street Hill bottom. Where some disgusting Nottinghamian Street Art had been freshly deposited on the pavement. Some poor devil had taken a step in the wrong direction. Eurgh!

I set off along Mansfield Road and up the incline. I was moving at a fair rate of knots for me but was coping well with the pace for once.

1Mon10WD128.0.0 Near the top of the hill, the usual Royal Mail van, with the same two drivers sat in it, had parked in their regular place, right across the pavement.

I managed to walk by, on the inside giving the chaps a look of disgust as I did so, banging their mirror on the way by. How are people with prams, disabled carts, shopping carts supposed to get by, without going on to the road to do so?

I got myself to the surgery and logged in. WD128.0.0 Had a bit of a dizzy spell in there while I was sat doing the crossword. Tsk!

DR Vindla did various tests and seemed pleased with how the fluid retention had gone down in the legs and told me to carry on with the Furismide and come back to see her on Monday week. She needs to monitor the effects on the kidneys and liver. The QMC appointment will arrive next week in the post. She did not mention any blood-tests other than confirming today’s. I would imagine, I’ll get an Email from them when the results come back on the test I am about to have. I was dismissed, and returned to the waiting area, to be called to the Nurses room. I opened the crossword book (neither session on this book today, proved very auspicious).

Bit of luck then, it was Nurse Nichole who came to collect me. Luckily, the bleeding took an age to stop after the test, thus expediting a short but so-pleasant nattering session for me. Thanked the gal and handed her some nibbles for the New Year, leaving a bag of nibbles on the reception desk on the way out.

Once outside, I really didn’t feel well at all. A partial visit from Dizzy Dennis, the innards rumbling and fear of wee-wee escaping all made me nervous. So, I went to the nearest shop that sold beefburgers (Carrington Co-op). I selected a pack of four Co-op brand burgers from the freezer. That was the only choice they had!

Out to the bus stop, I went, and caught a bus within a minute, back up to Sherwood. Right timing too, (I thought at the time anyway), there was about five minutes before the bus was due. Four other tenants were also at the shelter, and a chinwagging, laughter and snide remarks were enjoyed by all, while we waited.

WD128.0.0 And I mean, waited! The bus was twenty-minutes late when it arrived, and the bladder was being tested like never before. I was scared stiff of being embarrassed if things should burst-forth, I had the PPs on but felt these would not cope if the Furosemide activated LHBLWW did arrive. WD128.0.0 It did so as I thought about it! I felt so ashamed and flustered! I tried to stand as far away from anyone as I could on the bus, and placed the bag in front of me, in case anything showed-up. The short trip up the steep hill seemed to take ages. I got off the bus first and dare not stop to talk to Cyndy and Roger who spoke to me… I made my way as quickly as I could to the flats. The other of course caught me up and passed me by.

Hell, I was so glad to get inside. Straight to the wet room to sort myself out. The PPs had coped better than I expected them to. The lesion had been bleeding. So, off with the clothes and binned them, under the shower for a long session of cleaning and freshening. While I was taking a shower, another unstoppable LHBLWW evacuation arrived! This state of affairs is getting to me now! Finally cleaned and changed clothes and did the Health Checks, the BP is very low again, and I wasn’t feeling too good. I put this down to my embarrassment factor. What will I do if this happens again, when no L9 buses are running?

I am now, sorry for myself, depressed and in a state of utter dysphoria. A nervous physical and mental wreck!

1Mon11I got the nosh sorted. I must be doing something right, cause I ate it all up. Beef seasoned baked beans with beefburgers, sourdough bread and a lemon dessert.

Flavour Rating of 8.8/10!

I got the things in the washing up bowl. Did the Health Checks. Then I got myself into the £300 second-hand recliner.

Lots on the gogglebox to watch.

Zzzz!

Ageing can be a little Confusing – Inchcock’s Explanatory Ode

The pointlessness, confusion, mayhem, of morning thoughts, will no doubt affect the elderly. Even the alcoholic, chain-smoking, ones are at risk!

If perchance you can make any sense of these Inchcock Thursday morning ponderations wot he wrote this morning, then it is time for you to seek more help and support. Age Concern – PDSA or the snug in the Lions Arms?

Should you reach this stage, my personal advice would be to avoid thoughts of the National Health Service, Grenfell, the Government or Brexit!

4Thu01

1Mon01

Virgin Media Goes Down Again. An ode from the Nottingham Pensioner

The Virgin Internet has gone down again.

So, feeling a tad sad and depressed,

The Nottingham Pensioner wrote in rhyme about life. Oh yes!

Why has his Virgin Internet gone down he did bemoan?

His frustration and infuriation had now grown,

Inchcock thought he’d do a poetic verbal moan,

Why when born his mother wanted to him disown?

Why so ugly, and doesn’t he know the meaning of homophone?

Why at five into the canal he was intimidatingly thrown?

Why is he Whoopsiedangleplop and accident-prone?

Why Mummy ran away leaving him and Dad alone?

Why his brother went into the army, his sister went off to Rome?

Why his Dad always refused to buy him a gramophone?

Why is romance to him, almost unbeknown?

Why since 1970, has his hair never grown?

Why in later years he never tried methadone?

Why he didn’t know, what was a pheromone?

Why does his deafness make other folks tut and groan?

Why he likes the sound of the clarinet and saxophone?

Despite his musical ignorance he seemed to like the tone,

Why he never got fed food that was home grown?

Why he didn’t realise he’d no garden just grey stones?

Why his falling in love Cupid had to postpone?

Why he did he not understand what is the ozone?

Why didn’t he like tripe, cow-heel and any currant scone?

Why was it him that always grazed his shin bone?

Why does he look like a weasel and not Stallone?

Why others used him as a stepping stone?

Why is he short on testosterone?

Why for misery, he’d make a perfect cicerone?

Why he had no spare cash, pounds, dollars or krone?

Why for morbidity and depression he’d become best-known?

Why, how has he become the perfect boring drone?

Why he had become pathetic and he hadn’t known?

Why he’s no longer the girl-pulling cyclone?

Why is he in pain from knees, fingers, shoulders & hip bone?

Why could he not have realised and foreknown?

Why can he not resist a chunter and miserable groan?

Why doesn’t he swear like others instead he says, ‘I’ll be blown’?

Why self-survival skills the idiot couldn’t hone?

Why when deaf does he have an old basic mobile phone?

Why does he live a solitary zombie-like life alone?

Why has his maturity just never grown?

Why in an aeroplane has he never flown?

Why is he a wimp without any backbone?

Why does he think he’ll one day be well known?

Why, unlike Galileo, he will remain forever unknown,

Why he isn’t destined to fame or to sit on a throne,

Why has he never tried and tasted zabaglione?

Why his emissions of wind are so very well known?

Why for his past failures he cannot atone?

Why confidence and ability, he does not own?

Why he fears reincarnation or someone making him a clone?

Why he lacks social skills and has no backbone?

Why he seeks a social outlet microphone?

Why he wants someone to adopt him or take him on loan?

Why do they keep attaching him to an Osteophone?

Why cyclist on pavements he just cannot condone?

But, why he’s cheered up now is not known… Yes, it is!

Virgin Internet’s back working & he’s on his WordPress Zone!!!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 16th March 2017

4Thur11

Thursday 16th March 2017

Irish: Déardaoin 16 Márta, 2017

Woke around 0250hrs (According to the living room clock), thought it was much later for some reason. Out of the £300 second-hand recliner and to the porcelain. Little Inchy had been bleeding, Haemorrhoid Harry too.

Then I noticed that the clock in there, in5Fri02dicated it was 0142hrs?

Went into the kitchen, and the clock in there read 0645hrs?

Confused, I made a brew, took the medications and did the health checks.

Then searched for the mobile phone, I found it in the jacket pocket almost out of battery, no missed calls. That and the computer both agreed it was actually, 0330hrs? At this point, I made a connection with the cocks and a dream I’d had earlier, but no details. I put the mobile on charge.

Realising I was probably going bonkers and almost ready to be institutionalised, I tried what logic I could muster to attempt to work out what could have happened here with these clocks. It’s true that I felt a little yonderly and my psyche seemed to have departed company with my brain. First, I thought I might have been sleep-walking? But I don’t imagine that I could manage to get out of the recliner when asleep, it’s difficult enough some mornings when I’m awake? But you never know.

What else could have taken place, though? An Alien visitation? Hehehe! Genuinely worried about this, but I put it out of my mind (An easy option for me sometimes) and got on the computer to do some work finishing another TFZer graphic. Then updated the diaries and got yesterday’s posted off.

At this point I realised, thank heavens, the cramps from last night had dissipated. Anne Gyna still with me, though, and Duodenal Daniel felt like he was on his way to visit me.

Bash on Facebook, then had an hour or so to work on the next TFZer graphic, before I had to get the things ready for today’s Winwood Tenants Social Hour Meeting.

Carried out the ablutions, Haemorrhoid Harry bleeding a bit.

Off I poddled to the Social Hour, taking the nibbles and raffle prizes with me.

All change today, many new faces, tenants relatives, but some old ones missing. There was an atmosphere lingering, at first, I could not understand what or why this was.

I sat down next to a bloke’s daughter, being as that was the only chair. BJ arrived, and old Bill joined us at the table, their seats are always sacrosanct and saved for them.

When the raffle started, it came out as to why some of the old dears were pensive. The visitors won a lot of prizes, and some did not donate any themselves, this was the cause of the silent angst. I found this out afterwards when I handed the nibbles out, and one of my tenant darlings told me. The lady next to me had won five prizes, and this did not go down well, cause they all noticed that she does not bring anything for the raffle with her. I never thought of that.

I had some new pains come on while I was nattering to Bill and BJ. On the left side of the chest and around under the armpit? I’ll not hide it, I was worried and felt proper ill.

Left a few minutes earlier than usual, as I walked out and said my cheerios to the regulars, I was ignored a bit. Possibly they thought the woman I was sat next to was a relative of mine? Or, they were busy chinwagging themselves? Peggy, who runs the Social noticed my discomfort earlier and inquired how I was and told me to seek assistance if it continues.

Walked back to the flat and had a dizzy en route. Only a short one, though.

Got into the flat and got the potatoes boiling and the bacon in the oven. The pain eased but remained on and off. The imprecision and vagueness of mind returned.

I’d intended to get out and see the bank manager, but felt drained already, and not in a good state. Then tried doing the TFZ graphics, but concentration was minimal and tiring.

4Thur09Blogged and did some more Facebooking without problems, and the meal was ready.

Notwithstanding feeling a little delicate, I did enjoy this din-din.

Small potatoes boiled, pickled mushrooms, beetroots and two bacon pieces (Dribbled with BBQ sauce).

Two slices of the half-Rye-Half-sourdough bread followed with the banana and lemon fool.

Put the washing up to soak in the bowl, had another dizzy and got sat down in the £300 second-hand recliner, put the TV on and fell asleep for a couple of hours, woken by the sound of the door chime banging out a rendition of Dusty Springfield’s “I only want to be with you”. As I struggled to get out of the chair before whoever it was, gave up, I thought it might be someone checking if I was alright? No, it was Don from another flat wanting some 20p pieces for his laundry.

4Thur11I made a mug of tea and searched for the camera to take this photographicalisation of the Sherwood sunset.

Settled once again to watch some TV – nodded off again.

Woke by the telephone ringing away – another struggle to get out of the £300 second-hand recliner chair before they rang off.

Jpose03It was Sister Jane, so nice to hear from her. I’m afraid I waffled a bit and didn’t get the full message, as I was a bit droopy from the kip.

She sounded well, bless her.

Something we said must have triggered my thoughts, for I do recall sitting and musing over memories from long ago for an hour or so as I sat there in the dark pondering on life and it’s problems, personal and global, peace being the main worry… I mean, the violence and hatred being the primary concern for the world that needs corrective and compassionate attention – but it will not get it, that is certain.

The engrossment and mortification over the world’s worries had worn me out, but I could not get back to sleep for hours.

Waking up around 0350hrs, drained!

Inchcock Today – Tuesday 14th March 2017: Thwarted with Problems!

4pinny

Tuesday 14th March 2017

Turkish: 14 Mart 2017 Salı

0330hrs: I sprang awake so violently I nearly fell out of the £300 second-hand recliner chair. The few memories of the wicked dream I was having, evaporated immediately from my consciousness. All that remained was a sense of nervousness? I hate it when this happens, particularly when remembering so much of the night before dreams too. Tsk!

The call to the porcelain arrived on queue as I dismounted the recliner, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids were hot, sore and stinging like hell. But no bleeding when I passed. Most surprising that?

2Tue04Made a brew and took the medications.

Did the health checks, and compared the last two weeks total averages, in red.

The battle against the weight increase seems to be a lost cause?

Not a lot of difference with the others methinks?

Monday and Tuesday up to now, this week seem okay.

Apart from the weight of course. I must try harder!

2Tue05As I put the milk away in the fridge, I noticed something had been leaking into the vegetable drawer. So got it put and cleaned it and returned it. This sounds like a little job doesn’t it? Remember this is me I am talking about. The door would not allow me the room when open as far as it would go – So I had to move the stuff from the side of the damned fridge and turn it as far as I could to make room to get the drawer out, it was still tight and I struggled a bit to do it. Getting the thing back in was easier! Tsk! I’m sure it was less bothersome last time I did it. Maybe the flats are leaning a bit? 

Started doing a graphicalisation for the TFZer site, but had to stop to get the ablutions done, so I can get out to the bank and try the card, and have time to get back to visit Olive.

Set out calling into the Winwood Community Hut to drop off some nibbles for the Kamp Obergruppenfurheresses.

Onward down the hill into Sherwood and arrived at the ATM machine outside the new bank, and tried out the card for the first time.

Fully confident that all would be okay, now I had received the two emails from the bank welcoming me to the new account. Thus began the new:

Whoopsiw02

I put in the new pin number and attempted to withdraw some money, and was informed on the screen that ‘This service is not currently available’ I cancelled it and tried once more – the same failure repeated itself.

I went into the bank and explained to the lady behind the counter, who told me to place my card and pin into the machine on the counter. So I did. “All okay there,” she said and waited for me to wander off. So I did.

Luckily, a bloke in the queue pointed out to me that the lady was calling for me to return to the counter. So I did. She pointed out that there was no money in this account! Almost immediately Anne Gyna started to kick at me. Frustration grew in double quick time, as it dawned on me that the black depression was about to be summoned back by my tormented soul and mind. A touch of annoyance brewed as well.

I thought I acquitted myself well, born through repeatedly being led astray by the bank management, as the manager came out all smile and took me into his office for a chinwag. He started by saying he had been trying to ring me. I replied, “That would be the one missed call on my phone then?” He was taken aback a bit I think, with my new found verbal courage, again prompted by frustration. He said the transfer of money from the Co-op bank had not gone through, due to the Council Tax people putting the wrong postcode on their letter to me. I told him I had followed his advice and shredded the old Co-op card. He did he is best to sound upbeat, then he called the Co-op Bank for me and got them to issue a new card. Another mess to sort out and even more waiting! I gave the Co-op bloke a password and it was sorted. I am to expect a new card within 3 days, and a new pin withing 5 days, then I have to activate them. Great!

That sorted, he then rang the State Pension people and told them about the problem with the postcode – they are to send out a new detail of pension breakdown for me, with the correct postcode on it. I can expect this within 5-7 days. Grumph!

He then told me I need to find a 2017 Tax Code letter and take it in, to him.

The manager did apologise for his part in the farce come error, but I thought he might break a tooth or two as he forced the words through his teggies.

I left the branch almost spitting blood but tried not to show it.

Muttering to myself as I crossed the road, almost walking under a turning left white-van, I avoided the temptation from the fresh cream cake shop and hobbled up to the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop with some donations to give them and an Easter Egg for the staff.

Feeling somewhat dejected, disconsolate, downhearted, and depressed now. I even managed to miss both of the buses that I aimed to catch back up the hill. So I carried on up and over the hill down to Woodthorpe Grange Park, up the path and then right down to the flats.

2Tue07I did almost cheer up a bit when I saw someone with two giant horse-sized poodles! Hehe!

Just as I was taking a picture of the lovely Spring flowers blooming, they both raced into the picture.

That was kind of them.

The daffodils were coming through with beauty and aplomb at the top of the hill, as well.

2Tue08

2Tue09Turning right on my way down the hill, some crows landed in the trees on the outside of the Copse.

Thought it would make a good picture to take them with the flats behind and make a humorous graphic about Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ at a later date.

But, by the time I’d got the camera out again, the Murder of Crows had fled. Just the one stayed for his photograph to be taken. Haha!

I had a natter with a lady tenant who was waiting for her lift in the foyer. Then went up and called in on Olive. She was in good form. She told me off for getting in a mess with the bank, for putting on weight and for not having gone back to Boots with the new spectacle’s that were leaving painful looking marks on my face and needed putting right. Lovely to hear her like this, I knew she was feeling okay now. Gave her kiss and departed to the flat.

The spirits sank again.

2Tue10Marinated some baked beans in the pan, ready to have later with the last of the roast belly pork slices.

Not sure why I seasoned them the way I did, but keeping the fingers crossed they turn out alright. I mixed BBQ seasoning, garlic, demerara sugar, dark mushroom soy sauce, tomato and bacon cooking sauce, tomato puree, black pepper and large spoon or two of black bean sauce together and left them to marinate for a few hours.

Tasted a spoonful to try the taste after a while. I liked it.

To take the stress of the news away, even if temporarily, I found doing the TFZ graphics for my next series, worked. So, I pressed on for hours and hours starting them off. Still only got three of them finished. Want to get them all done, then post them together.

The brain racing and getting nowhere, fighting against invisible, intractable, untouchable enemy problems that were preventing me getting to sleep…