Inchcock Today Fri 22 Apr 16: Fing’s were looking up… then I suffered an attack of Lackadaisicalness!

Friday 22 April 2016

On this day in 1953, Inchcock ran away from home. He took a carrier bag, bottle of pop and a bag of crisps with him. He got lost, the police picked him up and took him home, nobody had missed him, and he got a good belting for bringing the police to the house!


0600hrs: Sprang awake and for a moment thought I was still in the dream I was having, something about people chasing me through this old abandoned department store and throwing things at me as they did. No idea who they were. My legs fell off of the Ottoman they had been perched on as I lay in my vintage 1959 broken imitation brown leather armchair.

The realisation of how light it was indicated I’d overslept. Huh!

Then I noticed I was humming and singing to myself as I hobbled into the kitchen to put the kettle on (My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord). Had to divert to the WC throne niftily, and found Little Inchy was in a right state, matted blood needed cleaning and the lesion medicated. Haem Aroid was only leaking a tiny bit. The rumbling innards still there, but no worse than yesterday. The Ulcer was calmer too. Arthur Itis very good to me. Anne Gyna not so kind again. 

Back to the kitchen and took the photo above, made the brew and took my medications. Then to the laptop and finalised the Thursday diary and posted it off. What a day that was (Yesterday), hoping for better one today.

P1070010Prepared the vegetables for the Crock-Pot cooking and got them going on ‘Slow’.

I put plenty of baby carrots in, sliced a half of an onion, cut up some swede, used the last of the turnips and made some seasoned gravy to cover them with. Gravy powder, Bovril beef cubes, basil, rosemary, salt and a bit BBQ seasoning, stirred it and turned the power on. Cleaned the mess made, passed wind and shot to the WC and the porcelain throne. I wondered why the carrots stayed at the bottom of the pot?

Started working on a rhyming post, and the oddest thing occurred:  I got an attack of lackadaisicalness! I just turned off the laptop and sat in the vintage 1959 imitation brown leather armchair with the broken arms, and apart from forcing myself up to use the bathroom and do the cooking of the fodder and washing up, did nothing but nod in the chair and watch DVDs or telly for the rest of the day? No drive, compulsions or interest at all?

I didn’t feel ill or poorly, just so drained and restless while the brain seemed to go on vacation? I kept thinking of things that needed doing and felt guilty, but the body and mind were not interested in the slightest!

I thought at one time, this must be it, the end, a sense of the surreal and a not unpleasant acceptance of this at the same time overcame me for hours and hours?

P1070011Yet in the midst of all this mental confusion, I took the time to prepare what I thought might just be my last meal, with care and patience?

I know I’m waffling on about this, but it truly was like an out of body experience to me, like I was watching myself do nothing, and was totally unconcerned about it?

After having the fodder and doing the washing up, I returned to the chair and was still sat there trying to get to sleep well into the early hours of the morning. Then after about an hour of sleep, I sprang awake and pondered on the events, or rather non-events and weird happenings…

Oh, dearie me. Better mention this strangely lethargic session to the doctor on Monday? Humph!

Tue 1 Sept 15: Inchcock Today: Not much done today

Tuesday 1st September 2015


I’m starting this diary off from yesterday at 2100hrs – due to me getting confused as to what time it was, thinking it was morning when it was evening and what day it was… if yer see worra mean.


Started this diary, then did some Facebooking and checked emails.

Got a wash and shave, then the Morrison’s order came – the driver didn’t leave any paperwork with the nosh?

Rang Steve UK as he told me to about the keys for the old place – No answer… Well fancy that!.

Had a cuppa and took me medications rather late in the day but still, better late than never.

Now I’ve got to wait for Steve from Age UK to ring back, and keep trying to ring him. Can’t make plans for going about me hearing aids.

I rang Jane and Pete about fetching me Deeds for the  house but they couldn’t tell me when I could go to collect them as Pete had to go to the dentist.

No answer from Steve Age UK.

Popped into the WC taking me phone with me in case Steve from Age UK rang (Faith that was!).

A knock came on the door – struggled to get missen decent and hobbled t’door – it was the lady I was speaking to yesterday from the floor below – she’d spotted a hearing-aid on the table in reception and thought it might be mine!

Hopes lifted we went down and it was the one I’d lost! Yahoo!

Thank heavens someone found it and the lady informed me!

When I got back in hunger pangs gripped me, and I put some chips on t’oven and had two of them Polish hot dog like things. I rang Steve (The invisible man) of Age UK and forgot to take a photo of me nosh, but was still well and truly over-the-moon with finding the hearing aid.

Ate it up and cleaned the kitchen up a bit, then had a search… a long unfruitful search for me Audio Record Book.

Made a cuppa and took me midday medications.

Watched two episodes of New Tricks while waiting foolishly for Steve (The invisible man and Councillor) of Age UK to get in touch as he said he would last Friday. Humph!

Did some graphicalisationing.

Still no answer from Steve Age UK. “Ring me and I’ll come and collect the keys and get started sorting out selling your house for sale…” said Steve of Age UK last Friday.

Well I did call him Tuesday (Today like), 5 times before 1100hrs leaving voice messages – then Text him – Then tried on the other phone twice, left messages, then text him on the other phone and tried fruitlessly to ring him yet again… twice more. It is now 1345hrs and I’m well miffed, after getting me hopes up with foolishly believing him again! I think I’ll have a sign made for me forehead: “Please Con Here”.

I can certainly recommend any older person with problems and no help to contact Nottingham Age UK to try to get a Councillor to assist them… if they are sadists and mugs that is.

Can’t concentrate on doing owt else at the moment. Need to know where and when I can get the keys to Steve so he can start moving with the house selling.

Wanted to get to do some things in town as well, but the unknowing and lack of control of events is so frustrating!

Aye up… Steve from Age UK rang… I take it all back… He going to call in tonight to collect the keys on his way home to enable him to get a Charity charity van to pick up owt they’d like, then house clearers. And I hope get the house on the market sharpish!

Cheers up a tad now, currently singing away to missen a mix of the mobile phone ring tone and Adam Faiths, ‘We are in Love”, with intermittent bits of Dean Martin’s old stuff.

I went down to the Winwood Community shed with the mail for Margaret the last tenant, and handed Deana Walker and Obergruppenfurher Julie a choice of nibbles.

Got back to the graphics with a renewed jest.

Fell asleep and woke up with Steve ringing the intercom.

Gave him the house key and had a little chin-wag.

He showed me some of the functions of the TV remote thingy, then shot off cause he was on his way home and had frozen foods in the boot of his car.

I put kettle on and made a cuppa and took me evening medications.

Laptop on and updated this scintillating bit of rubbish.

IMG_0002Comment from Angie mentioning her itch on her back and how she struggles to get to it to relieve it.

I told her about me shoe-horn that I bought last week at Ikea and how I now utilise it as a back-scratcher.

Perhaps she could employ me as an official Angel-Back-scratcher and I could move over to the States? Just a thought like.

AANancyDid some graphicalisationing for the TFZ page.

Lyzzi and Thomas in this one, with a few TFZers pets thrown in. Hope they like it. Two new pets included that I didn’t have photographs of to use in the past.

The now becoming famous early evening tiredness dawned again on me.

I got down and conceded to the land of nods calling.

Tue 2.6.2015: Inchcock Today – Very Windy, Withering day of Wistfulness

Tuesday 2nd June 2015

Woke about 0550hrs recalling a bit of me dreams:

Something about being thrown out of a helicopter and landing in a massive swimming pool filled with rice pudding in a field with hundreds of booing spectators all dressed up like General De Gaul around the edges of the pool?

Painful visit to the porcelain. Thought about the days demands while suffering. The GP surgery nurse for INR Warfarin tests at 1030hrs, and arrange CHA Health check appointment – Visit the Council flats near Winchester Street – Clinic visit – and possible trip to try and get some Microwave sausages? – Shredding to get some done at leasts. Oh, and try to get things sorted and taken for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop.

Still dark and drizzly this morning as I fed the pigeons.

Realised it is ten days to me skin cancer cut-outs session.

Took me medications with a good strong cuppa.

Mixed me curried beans ingredients and left them marinating to have later.

Put the water heater on for me bath before I go to GP surgery.

No launderette again today, I’ll try to get it in tomorrow.

Started this diary off and made the header on Coreldraw X7, which has now started crashing just like all the other versions I’ve had… Huh!

Did some shredding, then got missen polished for the trip to the GP surgery.

BJ rang as I was about to go out – he kindly said he’d pick me up after and take me to see the Winchester flat complex. He asked if I needed anything from his trip to Asda, and I asked him to get me two bottles of bleach. We agreed I’d call him after coming out of the doctors.

IMG_0003I set off on me poddle to the Sherringham Medical Practice surgery on Mansfield Road.

By gum it were windy this morning again.

The trees had all lost some branches and were a-blowing in the wind.

Got to the GP’s and remembered to book me CDH health check (Tue 23rd June @ 0900hrs).

The nurse called me straight in and took me blood sample for the INR test, and kindly listened to me moaning about me housing problems bless her.

She thinks the bleeding on me ankles might be where I was bitten last week on me walk in the country with brother-in-law Pete.

 I left the doctors and phoned BJ – he’s had some bad news about a death of someone he knew and I felt a bit bad bothering him. He asked where I was and I said “Walking up Mansfield Road on my way to your house, should be there in ten minutes or so”.

I made me way slowly to his house, and saw there was no car outside, so I waited in the wild wind for his arrival back from Asda.

After ten minutes BJ rang and asked where I was, I said “Outside your house mate.” He said he’s be there shortly.

Ten minutes later I rang him, and he was at my house – bit of confusion there in communications Tsk!

IMG_0005An irate BJ arrived and took his shopping into this house and lifted me to the Council Aided flats up Winchester Street.

We eventually found the Nottingham City Homes delegates and one of them took us round the first block of two near each other flats to have a look at the ‘single ones free’, IMG_0006there were several apparently.

Boy were they in a bad state! They all needed decorating, walls re-plastering electrics checking, door frame edges plastering redoing, and the smells that lingered… some unidentified ones and alcohol, tobacco and BO were present. Maybe that is why the rents were cheaper than elsewhere? The tiny lifts I’m sure would not take a bed or wardrobe in them, they shook too. The windows evidently were turnable for cleaning, I tried it and could not get them to turn enough so I could reach to clean them. Hey-ho… but the views from the top floors were great. I could hear noises from a neighbouring flat – the worst type for me, muffled and I did not know what was causing them or the exact origin of them. Not good.

I didn’t expect too much when I visited, but was taken aback by the damage and decorating that would need to be done if I did bid successfully for one of these flats.

A little dejected, BJ ran me to Mansfield Road so I could catch a bus to the Clinic. I thanked him and gave him some nibbles in appreciation.

I was soon seen to at the G.U.M. clinic, and told to keep on with the Clotrimazole cream.

I was out in half an hour and caught a number 17 bus on Hucknall Road into Bulwell.

I dropped off short of the centre and went into Tesco. Where I purchased a pot of Bay Leaves, tin of Baked beans, tin of garden peas and some milk.

IMG_0007Out of Tesco and a little walk into Bulwell and the Market Place.

So many pavement cyclists about i didn’t even think of photographing them.

As I wobbled down the pedestrian area to go to Fultons Foods store, IMG_0009I espied in a jewellery/Pawnbrokers store some watches for today’s TFZers ‘Bling’.

Some were incredibly cheap – perhaps too cheap?

But I liked the oval shaped one in particular, good clear non-fussy printing on it.

I popped in Fulton shop and had a look around, but no blackcurrant & vanilla ice-cream lollies or microwave sausages to be had Huh! – However, they did have some thick-cut Bacon Misshapes in the fridge, so I got a pack to treat myself and try and cheer up, because I was little down after seeing the state and smells of the flats earlier.

IMG_0008As I came out of the store I tried to split the things between me two bags – and the wind took one off me bags down the street at great speed – luckily a young chap chased after and retrieved it for me – restored my faith a tad that did. I thanked him profusely.

The Market stall-holder were having a battle with the wind too.

IMG_0010I made me way to B&M to see if they had any of the Irish Curried beans or jars of their sweet beetroots in stock – they didn’t.

I caught the bus back to Carrington, taking a photo through the window of the sky that had brightened a tad – but you could see the clouds belting across the horizon still.

IMG_0011Damnable wind nearly had me over when I got off the bus at the top of the hill on Hucknall Road in Carrington.

All down the street the trees had braches broken off or damaged.

Fed the pigeons.

WC’d (No blood) made a cuppa and put me bits away.

IMG_0012Started this diary off.

Then got me nosh ready.

Two thick bacon misshapes, mixed leaves, bread thins, an apple and my second attempt at home-made Curried beans. Today I added some caramelised red onion relish on top of the bacon steaks… I hope to return later to report on what it was like…

Later: Even better than the first effort – I’m proud as Punch! (Swagger, shakes head and trips over the shredding machine – Tut!). All I did different to the first one was add a bay leaf.

Nodded off eventually. Sprang awake half an hour later, not knowing why?

Wed 8/4/15: Inchcock Today – Great News Arrives!

Wednesday 8th April 2015

I woke up around 0530hrs WC’d and put the water heater on. Nodded off again and around 0745hrs I rose and set-about getting  the stuff ready for the hospital visit.

0301Used me new ‘Boots’ £29.99 Blood Pressure Monitor for the first time this morning.

Recorded the results that were:

Syst: 139 Dia: 67 Pulse: 78

I’ll have to find out if this is expected and normal – not that much can be considered normal abut me I’m sure. Hehe!

Made in China I noticed.

I’ll look it up after doing this diary if I don’t fall asleep first that is.

0302Got myself spit and polished and set off on me walk into town.

Hot today, sunny too.

Took a photo at Gregory Boulevard Junction, but it came out a bit shaky… Tsk!

Pressed on into town, having to avoid another pavement cyclist on the way up the hill.

As I was hobbling passed the newly  renovated houses that had been advertised as:

0304A unique opportunity to acquire a beautifully refurbished grade II listed Victorian town-house just five minutes walk from Nottingham City Centre.

The spacious accommodation comprises of a spacious lounge, a modern open plan kitchen/dining room having built in appliances which include gas hob, double oven, cooker hood, dishwasher, american style fridge freezer and microwave, utility/guest cloakroom to the ground floor.

The property boasts four double bedrooms over two floors, the master with a luxury en-suite shower room, a generous sized family bathroom and an extensive basement/cellar having the potential to convert into further accommodation.

There is a lawned garden to the front and off street parking to the rear. Must be viewed!

Offers above £280,000 considered.

Has been bought by someone who has opened it as ‘Mama’s Inn’ – Boutique Guest House. What’s a ’boutique guest house’ I wondered? A posh bed and breakfast? I also wondered how much they have to charge to get their money back?

0303Onward up the traffic was accumulating.

Over the top and down into the City Centre, I called into a shop and some extra bits of nibbles for the nurses to add to me bits in me bag I had already for them.

Caught a bus out to the Queens Medical Centre, thinking about our Jane going for her results today – said she’d let me know how things went later. Crossed fingers.

0306Arrived at the QMC and noticed a patient outside smoking one of those new electric cigarettes. At least the weather was nice for him.

As I moved across to the entrance door – the old smokers corner was still in use on the front corner. Comical in some ways to see several people, some with drips attached, all in their wheel-chairs and the smoke rising above them as they chuffed away and had a natter.

I should have thought of a post on this I thought – but with me being so very busy lately me concentration has gone to pot.

0307A good few in the waiting area when I arrived at the haematology department.

As I got me ticket and sat down I said to the lady sat next to me – “Good morning” that’s all, just good morning – she tutted picked up her things and moved to the back and another seat?

Oh dear…

Got seen too after only about half an hour – no time for a natter with the nurses today, they were too busy.

Went up to the 4th floor for me results from the scan last week – straight in to see the Doc – all clear on the prostate front.

Out and caught the bus back into town where I had a poddle about for a bit, taking a photo of some bling for the TFZ gals.

0305Noticed these Asian ladies showing an interest in the ‘Bling’ in the Pawnbrokers window. The shop is near premises that include: An American Ladies Nail shop, a French Restaurant, Chinese herbalist, Japanese Nails shop, Jewish Jewellery shop, Italian Restaurant, Halal take-away food shop, and a closed down English cafe. Never let anyone tell you that Nottnigham isn’t doing its bit for multiculturalism. I like it.

0308Had a  walk through Trinity Square back to the bus-stop.

Noticed the World Buffet place that sells all sorts of food from all over the world.

I think one day I’d like to try it and went over to have a closer look – the prices frit me a bit!

0309Caught the bus home, as it stopped near the BBC building being demolished there was little left for the mechanical triffids to pull down.

Dropping off the bus in Carrington – there was a motley collection apprentice villains sat and stood around drinking on the seats in the twitchel, so I took the long route back to the hovel to avoid them.

Fed the pigeons en-route.

Got in WD’d and wondered about how Jane had gone on today at her hospital visit?.

Must also remember Friday I’m going with Pete for the removal of his infected mole.

So busy…

0310Made a nosh of ham sandwiches, banana, pork pie, cheese pasty, cooked beetroot, franks and medications. I forgot to get some tomatoes when I was out. Fancy that Me? Forgetting? Hehe!

Couldn’t eat it all. Tsk!

Fell asleep after eating what I could – and  was awoken by the mobile ringing – by the time I’d found it I’d missed the call.

It was from sister Jane so I rang back nervously anticipated the conversation about to take place…

Great News!

Jane is okay – the growth in her innards is benign!

I could have cried with joy. (I did, but I’m not telling anyone about it so please don’t tell anyone!)

So, with Pete on Friday to get sorted, then Inchcock in a fortnight or so with his skin cancer tests.

Might just sleep in for all of tomorrow hehehe! Oh no, me GUM clinic checks, no rest fer the wicked. Tut and Tsk!

I’m so glad the pain in the bum was not another growth and only a boil.

Now good news about Jane has arrived I might be able to concentrate a bit better? Or not… hehe!

Inchcocks Security Career True Tales of Woe – Rapid Alarm Response – The Bank Manager’s Activation

Inchcock’s True Security Career Woes

Rapid Response Alarm Officer Inchcock & The night of the Bank Manager’s Home Alarm Activation


I was on Alarm Response and Patrol checks this particular night. Anyone could usually tell when I was on these duties because the amount of alarm activations usually doubled when I was on this roster. Tsk!

About 2345hrs I was in Long Eaton near Derby carrying out one of the regular site checks when I got a call to inform me that an alarm had been activated at a house in North Nottingham. I knew the house as it is on our Patrol list for checks at the weekends, and owned by a bank manager.

I made my way towards Beeston then onto the ring road when I got another call from the controller to advise me that a second activation had been received making it a positive and the Police had been informed, but they told him that “We have no free units to respond, but will do when one is free.”

Nice… very encouraging that.

I arrived at the assignment address about 30 minutes after getting the call. A great big house with two gates and dozens of rooms.

I informed control of my arrival and that no outward signs of intrusion seen at the front and I was going to check the rear of the premises first.

I got the keys and codes from the van safe, locked the van, took a deep breath and walked to the back of the sprawling house.

1220hrs: I moved away from the window and informed control of the suspect on premises situation and he despatched the other patrol officer Darren as back-up support being as the Nottingham Police still had no one to send.

So I waited and observed monitoring for any activity.

I then saw the torchlight in a ground floor window and continued my observing.

Daz arrived asking where is the scum-bag, let’s gerrim…

After we gained entry through the front door and deactivated the alarm

Darren called out “Alright scum-bag, let be X#~♫ having yer… come on give up or my mate will come and get yer…”

I recall thinking ‘Oh no he wont!’

A bloke appeared though a door and came running at us calling out “I’ve called the police… he pulled up short and lowered his mashie niblick when he saw our uniform and the size of Darren… who did not take to be attacked and he belted the chap with left-hook of Henry Cooper quality.

As I was about to challenge Daz on why he clobbered him as it was obvious the chap was not an intruder but the bank manager when the door behind us burst open and the police officers entered, batons drawn and wrestled me an Darren onto the floor and we were hancuffed – I remember a canine officer being displeased with his animal when it licked me on the face when they were getting me up after being handcuffed.

Now we were in a pickle I thought.

Luckily my solver tongue explained what had happened in between my asking then telling Daz to keep quite.

The paramedics arrived and the bank manager was taken away for checks although he seemed alright, was very quiet and didn’t seem to hold any grudge against us?

When the officers and Darren had left, I did a check of the premises for any intruders, I could see the fuse box was open at the cellar head, so assumed that was the reason the torchlight was used? No signs of why the alarm activated were found and it reset without any bother later.

When I checked each room upstairs the third bedroom… well it opened my eyes I can tell yers… A four-poster bed with red and pink adornments, leather straps, handcuffs and a giant plastic prodding fork lay on the bed? Five TV or monitor screens were scattered around the room, and a gigantic mirror on the ceiling! No signs any bodies anywhere though.

Then I informed control all was clear and reset the alarm and secured the premises.

Sat in the van doing the incident report – one of the hardest I’ve ever had to do.

The Barclays bank manager didn’t complain at all – which was puzzling and unexpected, but comforting.

Wonder what he was up to on his own?

Inchcock Today: Saturday 27th December 2014

Saturday 27th December 2016

I must have woken up twenty times for no apparent reason last night, although  felt bitterly cold each time, but soon nodded off again each time until 0430hrs when I did me springing awake routine once more. Somehow I managed to get some dreams in, although recalling any details of them is impossible. Just being chased was the theme of some of them I think.

I arose with trepidation about how the knees and feet stood up to yesterday’s forced march (All right enforced hobble). Getting up took a little more effort and pain than usual but once up I was pleased with the lack of agony that the knees gave me last night – stiffness and mild pain only from the knees, the feet weren’t so forgiving though and let me know it. All in all nowhere as bad as I anticipated they may be.

Even the angina was giving  me a break this morning and the fingers seemed fine. So no complaints in those departments up to now.


My first view out from the upstairs window


To the right of front door


To the left of my front door


The dreaded snow… hope I don’t slip on it if it turns to ice. Hehe.


Middle of the road snow



I remembered it was today the bins were to be emptied so carefully tackled the stairs – and shock! Out of the window the houses were covered with snow! Although in hte photograph I took through the window, it being so dark and me not a good photographer shows none of the snow at all?

I started the laptop. Fingers crossed… mind you they do that of their own accord nowadays.

So down I crept and half way down the stairs an urgent request for the use of the WC was sent to my brain from my innards… just in time I got there.

While in the bathroom I remembered to turn on the water heater.

Down again and put the kettle on then out to move the bins ready for the cheerful content nice Waste Management gentlemen to empty.

I had the camera in my dressing gown pocket so took some photographs from up and down the street. I didn’t take one of the spewed up take away meal and broken lager bottle as this might having given the impression that the neighbourhood was of a low quality nature like.

I scooped it up and put in a black bag and binned it.

Blooming cold now, I returned to the flea-pit and made me cuppa strong tea, back up and took me medications.

Started this diary and thought about if I could manage to get about in the snow, not being to steady on me feet in good weather like.

I wanted to get out and feed the mallard ducks, also to go to Asda to see if they had any of those cocktail frankfurters in stock?

Can’t decide if it’s worth the risk to go out or not – no good not using the legs after yesterday or they might stiffen and be more painful than if I had not gone out… if you see what I mean?

I did a bit of blogging and Facebooking.

 Phone rang and it was Big John (Bill) asking if I still wanted to go with him to Papplewick Pumping Station even in the bad weather? Boink!… I’m forgotten about going… I apologised and said yes, he said he’s pick me up in an hour.

Sat06I hobbled around as quickly as me legs would let me – WC, shave teggies, over-wash and got downstairs ASAP and was ready in 45 min’s.

Took a photo of the street now it was lighter while waiting.

35 minutes later John arrived, he’s had a job clearing his car of snow and ice. And we set off for Papplewick Pumping Station’s ‘In Steam Day’ – not expecting many folks there today in this weather.

Had to take in steady but we got there, with difficulty beause it is out in the sticks like. The volunteers at the station car park even asked us if the car was front or rear wheel drive and after BJ told them front wheel, they dug the snow away from the front wheels in case we had difficulty getting out later. Really nice folk, all lovers and fans of steam.

Sat07I’d taken some fish food, but was informed that the low temperatures meant no feeding the fish. But a lone duck, part mallard-part something else black welcomed the earthworm pellets and gobbled them up for me.

I was fascinated by a tree near the pond and the areas where they had cut away the branches some time in Sat09the past. The remaining stumps looked odd, but no one knew what it was or why.I took a photo from the bottom of the original chimney used. Or rather BJ did for me, because I couldn’t get me head leant back high enough without severe pain – Tsk! (Poor old bugger I know!)

We then went into the steaming room and as usual I was gob-smacked at how Sat07athey managed in 1856 to build such a thing, the intricate works and get them to run so smoothly, amazing and still they run on and on with loving care from the volunteers like naturally.

Just to think, this station supplied all the water for Nottinghamian’s then!

Sat07bWe spent a while talking to the folk, then walked through and down into the boiler room!

My favourite area to visit this is. The smells from the coal and boilers always remind me of my Dad’s railway days and the folk who work there are always friendly and ready for a chat to tell me of their passed workings with steam.

Sat10We moved out over the back where the staff park there cars and along to the Blacksmith’s forge to the left of the picture on the right.

I loved watching him making some rings and shoes that he would sell later to raise funds for the pumping station at £10 each.

We went in the cafe for a cuppa and bacon cob each, BJ would not let me pay and treated me bless him, that’s me first Christmas present this year.

Sat11By now, despite the weather there was many visitors on site but not too many that the workers could not find time for a chin-wag. And the Blacksmith was selling quiet a few items he’d made today.

A chap showed me an old Rolls Royce generator that used to supply power to the Reservoir underground and was now up for sale. 415 volts – 139 amps. Not that I was any the wiser about the Sat12details, but the history is what counts on these things I think.

He then took me to show off his other working Rolls Royce made generator water pump that he had assembled himself. Again the details he was telling me baffled me, but seeing this working on the day fascinated me. Nice chap, obviously in love with steam power as are all the volunteers there.

Sat13Time was getting on so we made our way to the exit and had a little natter with the staff on the door.

One lady was wearing a Happy Christmas hat that I thought was wonderful, and she was cheery in her nature too – a veritable Mother Christmas bless her.

We departed and with a little difficulty BJ got the car out onto the lane, and it was a hair-raising ride in parts onto the main road.

BJ said the outside temp gauge on his dashboard read -1.5c!

As we approached the traffic island where we turn right into Nottingham, the result of a nasty accident in the opposite lane became evident. A car had left the road and gone into the ditch and the recovery had stopped all traffic from moving.

Sat14BJ dropped me off outside the flea-pit and I thanked him and told him how much I appreciated the lift and had enjoyed myself.

As I walked to the house the inevitable happened, I  slipped on the ice – whoops-a-daisy. I’ve now got a very sore bottom/butt to add to the pain from the knees and legs… and the angina has started playing up… Ah-well. Always seems the same dunnit? I’d spent a couple of hours walking in the snow and ice, up and don snow covered steps (Carefully) at the station then slip over about eight foot from me front door. Hehe… Sods law!

Got in and WC’d.

Started the laptop, put the kettle on, got into my jammies and sat down (Uncomfortably I might add) to update this diary.

Took me medications and did some blogging and Facebooking again.

At least the bruised bum took me mind of me arthritis – one must look on the bright side… Did I say that?


Inchcock Today: Sunday 21st December 2014

07Sun01Sunday 21st December

Lying here thinking of the dreams I’d had… I kept finding myself in empty rooms, shops, buildings or cellars?

0245hrs, WC’d then started laptop went to make a cuppa then returned to start this Diary.

The laptop’s Word programme froze one twice before I got it going properly.

Thank you again Mr Bill Gates.

Too early to take mediations yet, must remember to do so later.

The rumbling and a-grumbling from me innards is stewing nicely at the moment… daren’t move to far from the porcelain!


Did some Facebooking.

I was looking at the painting that Patti (Bekert) did got me that cheered me up no end and decided I had to do something to thank her for being there for me when I really did need her encouragement. So I made up a heartfelt poem of thanks and made a graphic of her and posted it on facebook.

Oh dear… I just had an involuntary slow leakage of wind from me back-end… I thought it was never going to stop!

But it did… then the short plup and sprurtsch ones started again, non-stop.

Feeling a bit low now.

Pattie later commented on the ode wot I dun saying kind words about it. She deserves all the praise she gets and more.

I really dare not go out today.

Oh dear…

A cuppa and an egg and sausage muffin and taking me medications I thought might settle the stomach… it didn’t.

Felt awful for the rest of the day. Not really painful but more your uncomfortable with nervous visits to the porcelain rampant.

At least the angina and arthritis were not too bad, and I only had one dizzy-spell up to now anyway.

The haemorrhoids’ bled to their hearts content.

The toilet paper stocks dwindled.

The eyes ran.

The stomach’s grumbles and rumbles continued… on and on…

Still yer don’t like to complain do yer. (Much)

I really enjoyed such a long time Facebooking, but feeling a bit guilty about not getting out on a walk due to the demands of the toileting requirements.

Talking of which…

Inchcock’s Security Woes: The wind blew hard across the decaying graveyard


 The wind blew hard across the decaying graveyard

GY01Inchcock had been assigned as Static Guard for the Rempstone College, out in the wilds.

His responsibilities were many-fold, the fishing lake, Tennis courts, Golf area, 5 residential blocks a bank, a theatre, Liecestershire Police undercover car compound and ARV storage shed, library, church yard & Cemetery, Roman gardens, 2 bars, Artwork galleries, tutors quarters, classrooms, computer room, archive room, cellars, restaurants, games rooms, 550 student quarters, a Lido and Money safes to name a few.

A cold and lonely place at night, especially when the students and staff were on holiday as on this night.

He was the only person on the 8 acre site… or should have been.

At 0105hrs on patrol and the wind blew hard across the decaying graffiti’d gravestone littered cemetery…

Creating unholy noises, and blowing up the Guard Inchcock’s trouser legs something rotten, as he made his way across the used condoms, broken spirit and mentholated spirit bottles scattered generously amongst the dog droppings, coke cans, and maggot ridden dead rats along the path on his way to swipe the electronic Security check point, thoughtfully super-glued on the side of child’s headstone.

As he scrambled over the broken park benches, and rubbed the mould-growth from his uniform, he heard a loud bang, emanating he thought, from the end of the nursery drive, in the area of the undercover police car compound.

The customary tightening of the urine valves took place, as he stood still to try and listen over the wind, for any more unusual noises, but none came.

GY02Being one of the more reliable Guards (or so he thought) he decided further investigation call called for – following his Assignment instructions, as well as Sito’s guide lines, he called for back up… well he tried to but the phone network had gone down! (Sods-law or what?)

He walked, using whatever natural cover was available, down the dark dank windy lane towards the gates of the Leicestershire Police undercover car compound, using his intrinsic skills to keep the noise to minimum…. until he stubbed his toe on some broken concrete, then the silent approach had to be abandoned when he exclaimed a loud clear ‘Bollocks!’ into the night wind as a response to the sharp pain he’d accrued.

So, out came the mag-light, he pulled himself up to show his full 5’ 3” of height and swaggered into the middle of the drive, so as to appear brave and dangerous to any possible intruder.

He passed wind and increased his walking rate, putting on his well known bravado swank, and talking loudly into the dead mobile phone…. “ETA ten minute control? …. Silence for a while to give the impression he was listening to someone on the other end of the one-way conversation…… “Roger, but don’t let the canine run free, I have residents returning home all night”…… “I’ll do a quick check, he knows the code for the gate… thanks, out!”

Feeling proud of this instantly thought up subterfuge, that foolishly gave him heart and assurance in his puny skills, the Inchcock moved on showing great confidence, and reached the gates of the Leicestershire Constabulary Undercover Vehicle Compound.

He had no key of course, but luckily the gates were in the same state as the cemetery furniture – rotting and presenting some handy holes through which he could shine his torch, still leaving room for him to get his head through!

All looked in order, but being the perfectionist he is, our Guard decided to climb through into the compound, to satisfy himself that no intrusion had taken place and all really was well. (The fool!)

Once inside, he realised the vast extent of the premises, at least 100 vehicles of all types scattered around.

So he turned off his torch, and used the shadows to creep around in on his self righteous mission to protect the property of our beloved officers of the law!

About a third of way around, and in the centre of the vehicles, he felt something moving about at his feet from under a van, he whipped out his mag-light and shone it down…… just in time to see the blood being drawn from his leg by the police dog, as it began to try and devour his left ankle. (He still has the scars, Inchcock that is not the police dog).

To this day he’s not sure how he managed to get out of there, but he did.

Granted he was minus his mag-light, part of his trouser legs, bits of his sock, his cap, his mobile phone, a portion on ankle flesh, and a few fluid ounces of blood, but he got out!

Only to be met by the fast arriving police cars pulling up in response as it transpired to the PIR alarm activation of the new system put in the night before on the compound, that no one had informed our hero about, otherwise he would not have set it off by going into the compound!

They could hardly administer the first aid due to their laughter.

Inchcock was relatively new to the Security Industry, and thought to himself: “It can’t be as bad as this every-night surely?”

It could and would be over the coming years.

The moral is….er….well, it must be in there somewhere I’m sure!

Further Guarding Escapades/Incidents – Alarming Tale in Derby

Derb01The Security control room called me at home, asking me to go to a large Derby electrical retailer, who’d been hit the night before and needed emergency cover.

Derb02I asked if I could use a company mobile but no. So I went in my Skoda Estelle.

I set off, finding the famous (and now defunct) Powerhouse store, on a retail park, right next to one of their competitors (Comet- also now defunkt). Good Britain innit?

The raiders had blasted their way through a breeze block wall, and exited the same way, with many thousands of pounds worth of TVs, videos, etc. The wall had been temporarily blocked up, but could not be properly secured until the Monday.

Derb03aI was given the door codes (no keys), and told to stay in the shop area at all times (where the damaged wall was and the kettle and WC was not), and not to stay in the kitchen area.

The staff departed about 1845hrs, and I took a look around to familiarise myself with the layout. Then made a flask of tea, and brought it along with my sandwiches, into the shop area, settling in a chair at the inquiry desk, facing about 60 TV screens all on showing the same channel, and surrounded by shelves of radios, toaster etc.

Around 1900hrs came a knocking at the back door!

It was the manageress who had forgotten to take some paperwork with her.

She went into the back office to collect them, then returned to the shop to ask me to release her, during which she said; “You can change the channels if you want to, the remotes are in that draw” Pointing to a draw in the desk where I had been sitting.

Off she went, and I delved into the remote controls, there were about a hundred or so in the draw.

After managing to get about 15 of the TV’s on different channels, loud alarms began ringing from one of the shelving units. I eventually located the source of the alarm on the radio display shelves, and realised that a code was needed to deactivate/silence the horrible grating noises.

Without the code, all I could do was press ‘silence’, and after about three minutes the klaxon’s bells and sirens would start again!


Our Officer in the Control Room, name of Bob was ever alert as usual…

Having no contact numbers for the firm’s staff, I rang our Control Room, asking them to try and contact the Manageress, and get the required codes for me to use.

It was well gone midnight when they rang back with a 4 digit code, by which time I was on the verge of insanity with the hours of the noise and pressing the silence button every three minutes!

I put the code in – after which the noise started again, and did not stop again until the arrival of the staff at 0730hrs in the morning!

A good job no one broke in that night, because I was so disorientated with the hours of noise, I would have been no use at all.

The Manageress explained that she had given the wrong code, and laughed about it.


I had to sit in the car for ages until I felt clear headed enough to drive.

When I got home, control rang asking me to go back to the same store again that Sunday night, for 16 hours shift, 1600hrs to 0800hrs!

On arrival at the store, I made sure I was given the correct codes for all of the alarms in the store (Better late than never).

I was sat there, about 2300hrs, watching dozens of channels on the TVs, when I heard a thudding noise, although it sounded a bit distant, I thought I’d better investigate.

I opened the back (side) door, and gingerly peered out up and down the alleyway, although I could see nothing untoward, the thudding noise was clearly coming from nearby, and it suddenly stopped, and I heard voices shouting. I boldly marched (actually, I crept up) up the alleyway to the parade of shop fronts, to see two vehicles and a several scrotes loading stuff from Comet into one of their vans.

I called the emergency services, and tried to get a good description of the vans and crooks for the police.

Derb04I informed my control, knowing that there would be a few keen, alert security officers just eager to come and give me some back-up…

Within minutes the police squad cars flew into the car park, and the offenders scattered – unfortunately two of them towards where I was peeping put from the alleyway.

I retreated in through the back door, as I tried to close it behind me. There was pressure from the other side trying to force it open as I tried to close it!

A managed to hold them off for a minute or so and verbally advised them to go forth and multiply…. they burst in through the door knocking me over.

Turns out it was the police, who saw the yobs running into the alleyway, then saw the door being closed as they entered the alleyway, and assumed it must have been the crooks going in through the door.

Well that seemed to have been the general consensus of why the police Alsatian had bitten me leg.

The Charity Football Match – in Fancy Dress!


A bunch of lads from the RAOB lodge, had arranged a charity football match in aid of a couple of Children’s Charities, all proper like.

We hired a patch of the Forest Recreation ground to use as a pitch, hired the changing rooms, printed the advertisements, got lots of interest and prospective spectators to get some money out of, and the morning of the match, it was well sunny.

Oh, did I not mention… it was a ‘Fancy Dress Football Match!

I was due to be a linesman on the day. We soon realised that not enough players had turned up on the day, and I was elected to play… in my bath towel wrapped like a nappy, with a giant safety pin, heavens knows where my mate had got that from. I think he might have made it out of wire coat hangers?

Many supporters were awaiting our turning out from the dressing room, the local paper even had a photographer there… and the rain came down!

We made a quick decision to play only twenty minutes each way.

During the match, I didn’t actually get to touch the football at all, (none of the lads deemed it advisable to pass me the ball, I even tackled my own team-mates in an effort to get the ball, but being as my footballing skills were notoriously pathetic, I failed) as the rain made the towel heavier and heavier, I was soon glad I had my underpants on underneath, as the inevitable happened and the towel sagged and drooped, then fell to the ground – unfortunately taking my undies down with it!

Thank heavens the photographer has gone earlier to avoid the rain.

The few wet supporters who had stayed in the rain got a laugh at least.

Still we made about £80 on the day for the NSPCC.