Inchcock Today: Wed/Thur 19th/20th November 2014

Wednesday 19th November 2014

Burst awake at 0140hrs.


Little ‘Inch’ leaking again. Getting wee’d off with this.

The laptop refused to load first time; Drive unstable?

Second attempt it worked… slowly, but it worked.

Got no end of graphics done.

I spent hours and hours doing nothing but internetting again.

WC and went down to make a cuppa and returned to take me medications.

Read a bit more of me Blood Red Snow book.

An idle day for an idle Inchcock.

Thursday 20th November 2014


Up at 0320hrs.


Little Inch tended to. Less bleeding this morning… up to now anyway.

Made a cuppa and the laptop was working well this morning… shouldn’t have said that should I? Laptop booted first time, Coreldraw loaded okay and this cheered me up so much, even when I dropped me cuppa spilling it over me radio it didn’t bother me (Beep beep Lie detected).


Photo 1

About 0500hrs took me medications and beautified my ageing body with carbolic soap, teggies tended to, razor utilised creams and pain gels applied in required areas of me torso.

Morrisons (Photo 1) delivery this morning later, then I’d like to go out on a blooming good walk and take some photographs for my friends on the internet.


Photo 2

Whoops, gotta go, WC beckoning again. Back soon (I hope)

Windows updates took ages to load when I turned off the laptop.

Set off on a walk about, starting with a limp into Sherwood to the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop with some bits.


Photo 3

Traffic was heavy this morning on Mansfield Road. (Photo 2)

Decided I’d take a longer walk, so went through Edwards Lane Estate. Taking a photo that showed the mist hiding the scenery in the distance from the top of the hill. (Photo 3)


Photo 4 Fungi?

Turned left and came across a tree stump that had grown the most amazing looking fungi from its chopped trunk. Beautiful to look at – wonder what it is? (Photo 4)

Plodded on and passing Nottingham’s HRM Prison, I took a snap of the entrance and car park. (Photo 5)

Turned left on Hucknall Road and down the hill passing the now being renovated pub where the murder took place last August.


Photo 5: HM Nottingham Prison

Turned right onto Haydn Road, where my mate was mugged last year and up as far as the Junior school, where I saw the odd shaped hut in the playground near the… er…  play-thingies. (Photo 6)

Then passed the signs on the railings: ‘Warning Anti-vandal paint used – Trespassers and vandals will be prosecuted’. Judging by the graffiti on them, they haven’t impressed the local trespassers or vandals in the least! (Photo 7)

Caught a bus to Arnold at the bus-stop where the 87 year-old lady was mugged in March.


Photo 6: The crooked shed

On the bus, a rather large lady with a four wheeled shopping trolley (the bus was full) got up to get off and as the bus lurched, she fell onto an elderly lady, I managed to fend of her full weight from the lady as she fell. The poor lady said she was alright but I knew she wasn’t and was shook up. Poor thing.

I alighted from the bus and got some bread lollies and foolishly forgetting I have no cooker or microwave some potatoes. (Twit!)


Photo 7: Warning signs. Tsk!

As I queued at the bus-stop to come back to Carrington, I noticed a stumbed-out nub-end and a brown spread of questionable a nature on top of some new street furniture. (Photo 8)

As the bus drove through the Broxtowe Estate I noticed that of the row of six new shops renovated last year only one is still trading. Nottingham at its finest I thought. I took a photo through the bus window. (Photo 9)


Photo 8: Eurgh!

When I dropped off of the bus and limped towards the pelican lights I was impressed with the shadows being cast by the not very warm sun behind me cast onto St John’s church. (Photo 10)


Photo 9: Retailers driven out of Estate?

I got in and after WCing I decided I was hungry so made some sandwiches and a cuppa, up to the laptop to update this hogwash and… the Laptop start-up failed to load. Got the blue screen with this message (Photo 11) three times before it actually started. The end is nigh! But at least it loaded – I wonder if the windows updates might have cocked summat up?

I’ll never know or understand.

Did some Facebook and graphic prep work.


St John’s – beautiful!

Took me medications and tended to little Inchy (flipping bleeding again!)

Well, believe or not, after I’d got little ‘Inchy’ cleansed and no longer leaking guess what?

Yes, you’ve got it – me flamin’ haemorrhoids started bleeding again.



I think they either come out in sympathy for little ‘Inchy’, or the just might be jealous of all the attention he’s receiving? Huh!

I had a little self-pity period for a bit. The Inch, piles, angina, loneliness, frustration, me hearing or lack of, me cooker packing up, me microwave doing the same, forgetting things, losing things and general depression.

Then I thought… Sod-it, make a good strong cup of tea put on me favourite DVD and wallow. Hehehe!

Sod-it again… now me DVD player won’t start… Fu… flippin’ ‘eck!

Luckily it didn’t bother me in the slightest iota, bit or fragment at all.

No, no no, not a tad.

No, I will not let it get me down at all.

Not in the slightest.

Would you like any more lies?


Inchcock Today: Sun 7th September 2014

Up at 0530hrs. More nightmares but I can’t remember them.


18 8 01No blood from anywhere, that’s a positive.

Made cuppa and took medications.

Laptop on (Very slow this morning… me and the laptop Hehe)

Checked emails etc.

My sister Jane mentioned on the phone last night, that they, who live in the County do not get in free to visit Nottingham Castle, here as I, who lives (Using the term in its loosest meaning) in the City, get in free using my bus pass. She seemed rather irked with this. But her mentioning it, decided me to pay a visit to the Castle, especially as it is free for me.

I got missen prettied up and set off on the good walk to visit Nottingham Castle.

I managed to avoid the skateboarders and cyclist Although there was a couple of close shaves), and got into town, and bought a sandwich and bottle of orange to consume on me hobble around the castle grounds.

Usunday02Usunday01I got there, went in – and they charged me £4 entrance. (Flipping sisters eh?)

The feet were stinging and the knees aching by then.

I took many photo’s, until the camera batteries died a death. Went into the Nottingham military museum.

I intend to create a post about the visit, perhaps calling in Inchcock’s Visit to Nottingham Castle, or some other creatively thought up title.

I hobbled into town and caught the bus back to the hoppit.


Put me things away and made a cuppa. Then udated this tosh.

TTFN all the best.

Historical Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham: Around the Slab Square

 Around the Slab Square

Slab Top

Penned by our Nottingham WordPress resident the decrepit impecunious pensioner, of great senility and ill health Mr Juan Inchcock, with the hopes of encouraging.. er… well something!

WalksFriar001Quote from Inchcock:

Slab InchyOn my last walk around Nottingham City’s abandoned shops… I mean City Centre, I came across some council workers removing a sign from the wall.

The sign read:

‘Visit Nottingham Castle to hear the fables of Robin Hood and his Merry Men’

The graffiti written below it said:

‘Then visit Nottingham Council House to hear the fables of the Merry Men and their robbing hoods’

“I thought it was hilarious!”

The Lions at the front of the Council House

Slab lionsCreated by Joseph Else, the 2 stone art-deco lions stand guard on either side of the entrance steps. They are similar in design to the lions used to publicise the British Empire Exhibition at Wembley in 1924-25. There are alternative ‘names’ attached to them, some people call them “Menelaus and Agamemnon”, others “Leo and Oscar”.

Whatever their names, arranging to meet ‘At The Lions’ has become an essential part of Nottinghamian life since the building opened.

The Left side Lion


Where the higher class ‘Totties’ would gather, hoping to ply their trade with the more affluent visitors to the ‘Black Boy’ hotel (Now criminally destroyed by backhander seeking councillors)  just along the road. I’m told the Totties provided £3 and £5 servicing.


A popular meeting point for the shoplifting squads and locals. The regular appearances of Protest meetings, Big Issue sellers, a Parking Attendants favourite point of observational value and during the regular various foreign markets, an absolute haven for pickpockets.

The Right side Lion – The more popular of the Lions as a meeting-up place.


Slab TugWWhere local PC’s Dennis ‘Tug’ Wilson (7′ 2½ inches) and Geoffrey Baker (6′ 8½ inches) would position themselves to keep a keen eye on the populous of the City, and responding to questions from the public, and always alert.


The graffiti is cleaned off regularly nowadays. The CPO’s (Community Police Officers), and occasionally a real PC can be seen using their mobile phones, and if they are needed, as soon as they end their phone call, citizens can speak to them. Nearby you will find the Big Issue sellers, street artists, beggars, Motorbility scooters, Skateboaders, Cyclists and other dangers.

Special Foreign Market’s


Slab foodNo Special Foreign Market’s were held then. But there was a speakers corner.


Themed markets are a regular appearance in the slab square nowadays. Themes including: Lithuanian Foods, German, Polish, Austrian, Australian Foods, French Products, and Asian Foods. Amongst the items you would not have been offered in 1963 are: Kangaroo burgers, Shark steaks and Blueberry candyfloss.


Slab riotsThe Sacheverell riots of 1710, riots were a series of public disorder outbreaks that spread across England during the spring, summer and autumn of 1710 in which supporters of the Tories attacked property and places of worship of Whigs St Mary’s Church just off the Slab square becoming a victim.

The Spitalfield Riots of 1769, Luddite Riots of 1812, Reform Bill riots of 1831, Racial Riots of 1958, Protest Riots of 1981, and the Protest Riots of 2014 all had occasion to ply their violence, along with other locations, on the Nottingham Slab Square. The muggings continue, but most of them have moved to the suburbs where there are fewer CCTV cameras.


I recall a few skirmishes between Mods and Rockers, and between football fans occasionally.


Slab FireLast year there were 485 shoplifters arrested (Although less than 200 were prosecuted) – 211 arrests for using threatening behaviour or using violence – One murder – Nine stabbings – 156 assaults – 18 nights of rioting activity – 3 police vehicles fire-bombed and attacked – 4 police officers hospitalised – 9 Ram raids – 11 shop raids with violence – 2 street dwellers died. 8 people knocked over by drunken or illegal drivers – 4 Taxi drivers robbed and assaulted, and 126 muggings. Oh, and the nearest police station was fire bombed.


Slab taxis


Black Taxi’s with white bonnets and boots lined up on the right side of the Slab Square. Fairs from 1/3p (5 ¼d) Some of the drivers could speak English too.

Trolley and Motor-buses with conductors ruled in this year. Tickets from 1p


Custom designed and built London style Taxi’s are now ranked off the Square. Fares from… well I don’t know, I can’t afford to use them nowadays.

The new Trams and Motor-buses without conductors rule now. Tickets from £1.80.

Retailers/Trade outlets


There were about 65 businesses around the square.

Lyons Cafe being another popular meeting place for Nottingham residents.

Slab cashops2014:

There are still about 65 businesses around the square, but a third of them are closed down.

There are now far more eateries, less banks, and the excessive proliferation of Pawn Shops, Charity Shops and Pay-Day Loan sharks were not around in 1963.

The new fountains are a popular place for children to play in and swear at passers by. Unemployed benefit seekers, immigrants, shoplifters, muggers, and wino’s to meet.

In the event of anyone being tempted to move to Nottingham for its Multiculturalism, Wealth, Serenity, or Placid lifestyle, as a result of these meanderings – Please read between the lines!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 21st August 2014

W22 headersoz♥ I was up at 0330hrs. (No choice in the matter, urgent WC attention required and I couldn’t get off afterwards Tsk!)

Usual brekkers, took medications and then thought I’d start the laptop and get on with some posts I’d nearly got ready for WordPress.

The laptop took an inordinately long time to start, I really am expecting the worst from the old gal soon. When she did get going, I lost the BT signal repeatedly.

Eventually I go both going after several reboots, restarts and complete reboot. Good old BT.

Spend far too long getting graphics ready for post later, but I did enjoy doing them though.

About 1230hrs, I did me ablutions and put me togs on, and set off I’d decided, to walk to Nottingham Hospice shop taking some bits for em again, and then to catch bus to town and go for a ride out to Derby, taking me books with me. See… I can plan ahead yer know sometimes.

As I was going up the little hill, I thought the skyline warranted a photo – hen I got the camera case out of me bag, I realised I’m left the batteries on change back in the hovel.

W22 7 sheepSo, I hobbled backed to the hovel and got em um put in. Change of plan at this stage.

I had a walk into town (Took photo), and caught the round-about route bus to Bulwell. Then visited the Fultons cheapo Freezer shop in the hope of getting another pack of the cheapo but very good microwave pork sausages, and they had some in again, so gorra pack.

Then had a walk to the cheapo shop, but again, they had nowt in I wanted or fancied.

By now, me feet and knees were aching to say the least.

W22 06 scootDropped the things (DVDs books and a wall clock) off at the Headway Charity Shop, and bought a book, as I’d finished me Hitler the Commander book on the bus going there.

Believe this or not, but a Mobility Scooteress reversed and nearly clobbered me – I tooketh a photo, but she was well on her way by then.

On me hobble back to the bus station I called in Heron Frozen food shop to have a decker. They had some orange W22 05 theatresuckers at 10 for a quid, and Bread flats on offer at a quid, so I got one of each like.

As I was walking past the market place, a Mobility scooter came close to catchin’ me one as he went passed me and jumped off and went into the bookies… Tsk!

Caught the 17 bus back, cause it drops me off quiet close to the flea-pit.

No yobs about I’m very glad to say. Bet they’ll be out later…

W22 04As I turned into the street, the were a dead mouse at me feet! So I took a photo like.

Got in, started the laptop, put me nosh away, made a cuppa. I updated this crap, and posted it.

Did some microwave sausage sandwiches with bbq sauce, followed my an orange sucker. And ate it when I got off the WC.

Taketh care all.

Inchcock Misses His Walk into Nottingham

Walk 001

Juan Inchcock, our 68 year old Nottingham correspondent and unemployed Gas Street lamp wick trimmer, found himself housebound the today.

Partly due to his arthritis, angina, losing his free-bus-pass and walking stick, the flapping holed sole of his right shoe, and the lousy wet weather.

He was straining a thrice-used Asda Smartprice tea bag, when he thought about what he might be missing on his cancelled wonderful walks through his beloved Nottingham.

He takes up the story… no hang on, he’ll take up the story when he returns from the loo.

(Whistle whistle…)

Ah here he comes….

 Inchcock explains all

I feel rather sad really, realising the many things I had come to expect to see and enjoy on my daily hobble into Nottingham and by bus-ride back home again.

The things I miss most

Walk02* The skills I’ve acquired over the years in avoiding the dog phoo and broken bottles on the way to the main road.

* Checking for the gangs of yobs, and taking a different route.

* The skilful way I avoid the stones thrown at me, and ignore having my parentage questioned by the little mites in the playground as I pass the Junior school.

* Passing the many Pay-Day loan outlets is a bit depressing though. Not often I see any customers in them, but they always seem to be someone smoking, with a pram with toddler and beer cans in it, and a few kids with them. The kids are usually trying their best to destroy the furniture in the office.

* The pleasure of guessing to myself, where the next road blocked off while the police investigate the murder, stabbing, or fire-bombing that took place the previous night will be situated.

* Using my vast experience and skills in spotting and avoiding the beggars, Big Issue sellers, and pickpockets as I approach the city centre.

* Observing the playful way in which the shoplifters are occasionally removed from the stores into the police vehicles.

* Popping into the 99p store to be short-changed, sneered at and overcharged, I have to appreciate their consistency.

* Moving along to the Pound shop and getting out without physical injury is very rewarding – reminds me of jumble sales in the 1960’s.

* The St Peter’s Church area. Where one can find Jehovah’s witnesses, Muslims’ and of odd Christian spouting their beliefs.

* The clever way in which I take the routes less likely to be shat on by the pigeons, not always successfully I admit… all this experience is invaluable.

* To stand and watch Himmler, the parking attendant, with his chest out, and weighed down with all his pouches, machines, and tackle around his midriff, strutting up and down Mansfield Road, as he totally ignores cars parked on the pavement, and in the disabled bay. I often wondered if his ticket machine actually works, I’ve never seen him use it yet this year (or last year come to that!).

* The lunchtime drunks falling out of the pubs can be entertaining too.

Walk 003* I often wonder if I am the only person to see the drug dealing going on in the city library and McDonald’s.

* Avoiding the gangs of lager swilling pot smoking scary looking gentlemen who gather outside of the three benefit offices in the city centre is an essential part of surviving a walk through town. But I have to take care not to trip over any of empty strong lager cans.

Walk 04* The gentle whiff of rotting decay rising from the canal, as the ducks try to navigate around the shopping trolleys, condoms, empty cider bottles, and bicycles to get to the bread I’ve thrown in for them is always worth a look.

* The constant melodious sound of intruder alarms, car, and emergency vehicle sirens and klaxon’s, mingle with voices and curses of people being arrested, the children swearing, and the many different languages being spoken, all blend together to create a distinctively Nottingham sound that should be appreciated.

* A quick check on the many Charity shops – but they cannot help me!

* I might pop into the Arboretum to feed the ducks, get mugged, on my way to a meeting with my financial advisor (Social Security Benefits Office).

* An essential part of my strolls through the City Centre is to count the many and ever increasing number of retail premises closed down, for sale, lease, or rent. I do a report each month for the Outer Peruvian Pregnant Kangaroo Appreciation Society’s newsletter, although they have never printed one yet.

* I’ll often stand outside Starbucks, Caffe Nero or Costa Coffee, and sniff in the aroma, watching the people inside who can afford £2.99 for a cup of the horrible stuff.

* The pleasant group of youths who congregate in the slab square near the fountains are worth a watch while I rest me weary feet and legs and eat me seaweed. I think the one with Walk 05four ear-rings, a nose ring, smudged tattoos on his neck and green dyed hair is the best of them at seeing hoe far they can spit into the paddling pool area.

* Having been hit four times my Mobility Scooters (Or the people supposedly driving them) I am on tenterhooks when in the city centre. So I have to try and keep an eye out for them while trying to keep me balance walking, and watching for potential muggers. (I’ve been mugged twice as well).

Oh I do miss my daily walk into Nottingham!