Inchcock: Thursday 3rd November 2022

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00:30hrs: Got up for a wee-wee; that was terrific, gobsmackingly, absolutely free! Grrreat!
But releasing things ready to use the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), I got myself in a tangle with the jammie bottoms cord. So, had to go and wash limbs etc., throw the jammies in the laundry bag, and get a dressing gown on. There was no point in getting back to sleep now; I was wide awake.
Went to make a brew of Glengettie tea.

I tried to take a photographicalisation of the morning view.
My first effort came off a bit smudgy, and the second one didn’t get onto the SD card at all!
For the next one, I changed the selector on the Lumix camera to the night view option on the wheel first.
This one came out acceptable to me.

While making the brew of Glengettie, my neurotransmitters failed, and as I was stirring the tea bag as well – So, over went the china mug of tea. Another fine mess to sort out! The one redeeming factor was that the mug stayed on the counter, so at least I didn’t lose another one. Haha!

Updated the Wednesday Blog. It cost me a three-hour struggle, with all the mistakes, and towards the end of doing it, the started, but this time it lasted for longer than ever before. Usually, they are over in seconds… but not this time! Peripheral Neuropathy Pete had never bothered me for so long, with so many incidents, some were quite serious. The first one was as I was stirring my tea bag, it’s hard to explain what happened clearly, but I’ll try: The Peripheral Nerves will suddenly not work, and occasionally they go on-off repeatedly. So the brain does not get a clear message from the neurotransmitters of what they want to do. Then the brain seems to guess but gets it so wrong sometimes. Imagine you want to pick some up that you know is very hot… you test it first. Well, it’s similar to that; the fingers keep nearly doing something and repeatedly miss doing it; why? I think the brain is preventing them. Hence I look like a fool, trying to pick up a piece of paper or anything really but just cannot get the fingers to do the right thing. The same if you want to drop or let go of something – you can’t; it’s impossible until the neurotransmitters send a clear message to the brain, suddenly they will, sooner of later, and things go back to near normal for a while… until the next loss of contact from the nerve-ends.
The fingers are the worst affected, but it can and has, in the past, happened with the toes and feet and can easily have me over.
The silliest and most scary to anyone seeing this happen is when I get what I call an . It’s the equivalent of doing the Oki-cokey; the foot will not settle back on the ground until the nerve ends re-contact. It’s always (up to now) the right leg.
And with , it is always on the right side, never the left? I think that my having my stroke on the righthand side helped to create these phenomena.

The was needed as I entered the wet room with the clothes to change into after the shave and shower. Aha! The evacuation was a little easier today – Small blessings are all welcome! I fang-you! Unfortunately for me, the again.
During this session, the counts increased ridiculously! I had some irritating and annoying incidents to contend with. But they were short-lived, and after the wet room activities, the nerve ends were back to normal, with just the usual odd ones catching me out. Nothing new there!
Dropped the toilet roll into the water! I cut my gums while cleaning the teeth and broke off another bit of the shattered double molar. Four cuts shaving. Carbolic soap dropped twice. Hit my head on the power box and couldn’t find my glasses after showering. (They are still AWOL [Absent Without leave[)

Arrived. Yawningly, Hehe! It’s his last shift for a few days, so I wished him a good rest and much sleep. Got the medications sorted and managed a couple of minutes of chinwagging. Saw him off as he took the waste bags. I shan’t see him for a bit now. Hope he catches up on sleep.

I started on the blog again: it was darned slow work.

Then Windowman Joe arrived. Not getting much done today. We had a laugh and chinwag, but like lighting at cleaning windows, soon off and gone.

Tried to get some graphics done… Cleaner Esther arrived. She was in and out for over an hour. She kept nipping down to check the laundry. She cut me a hole in my trouser belt – I can now wear them with more confidence, Hehehe! Finally told me her new minimum rate of pay is going from ten to fifteen pounds an hour for doing the laundry. Humph! I could do little or no work on or for this blog. I could not concentrate on Esther’s incessant talking. So I gave up and listened to her.

Finally, she departed. Ah, now I can get on with the blog…

The landline rangeth…
It was Sister Jane. We had a jolly long conversation, and I found out I was eating the wrong foods, buying too much of it, and should eat more pasta. Fair enough, she was right. But we had a laugh or two. Said out farewells.

And back to blogging...

It was the Asda delivery. The driver helpfully threw the items ordered into the boxes provided for me… this chap was a lot more careful about not putting things like mini sponge rolls at the bottom of the box; bless him. I thanked him and got the food and things into the kitchen.

The big items I bought were the Flash speed Mop and extra pads. There’s a reason I bought these, and I can remember why, too. Oh, YES! Mind you, I can’t remember who it was that extolled the virtues of the costly Flash mop… but someone told me how great and easy to use they were. Although on later looking at, but unable to read the small print on how to set it up and operate it, I’m already sorry I bought them! !
I left them in the hallway – and hoped that one of the carers may as me why and hopefully know how to set it up and work it. Humph!
I thought I could smell bleach, and one of the bottles was leaking… So I got the box with the cleaners in it opened first to check... Yes, the bleach had been leaking! Grangknangles! I checked in the empty box, just in time to see the cardboard disintegrating, and got it in the sink. Tore it up… I didn’t know I had so much anger in me, but got the cardboard box pieces and put them in a large plastic bag, and I hobbled grumblingly out loud as I took them to the waste chute and deposited the bag. Coming back to the flat, I realised how childish I’d been and felt a fool for getting all hot & bothered over it. I envisaged my moving into a home for Dementia sufferers, and it didn’t seem that far away!
I sorted out the food box next. The only item they had none off in stock was the tomato passata with basil. Shame, ’cause I’ve got none now. Haha! I’m glad they had some of the Soya lemon yoghourts, though; they are nice and tasty without being too sweet. The vegetable pasties that I tried last week, and they were good and tasty, also arrived. I do not remember ordering any fresh tomatoes or cooked chestnuts… but then again, my saying I do not remember – is becoming my catchphrase, I think. Hehe!

I got things put away… not the Flash Speed Mop, of course, and had a wee-wee. As I was washing my hands, I realised that I’d had the potato simmering away for over six hours now in the crock-pot!
In the kitchen, I trundled and turned it off. The large potato had split open, and bits of flesh were floating about in the pan… Tsk!

I got back to the computer and started working in CorelDraw, making graphics, tabs and an Ode… I was doing well… I thought… which was rubbish, of course. CorelDraw kept freezing, and MS word, in which I was creating the ode, did the same? I gave up!

The landline rang and at the same time! I’m just lucky, I guess… Esther returned to get something she’s left, and I asked her to talk to the woman who phoned for me; cause I couldn’t understand a word she said! Neither could Esther! So put the phone down. Esther said she was trying to get me to join Virgin Media, I said I’m already on it…
IT dawned on me after Esther had gone. A woman who I could not understand rang, but no dice with hearing what she said. When Jenny phoned me to warn me that Liberty-Global Virgin Media was going down on Wednesday, it did. I wonder if it’s going to go down again?

I’ve got so little done today. I’ve now been up now for 16hours. Frustrated at every turn. Evening Carer is due anytime now. I’m tired, hungry and pretty miffed off with things. And still way behind on blogging! Well, it’ll stay that way! I’m gonna get a mug of Thompson’s tea, then something to eat.

I took this evening shot of the view from the kitchenette window while doing the cooking… Blimey, I multitasked there!

At last, I made and ate a decent meal. This one was a gorgeous soya Frikadellen and a veg pastie, tomatoes, yellow and red ones, very tasty, sweet! Sourdough cobs, and a mandarin & lemon mousse. Oh, and a boiled potato. Lashings of BBQ sauce.
Bootiful! Taste Rating: 8.9/10! However, in the preperationing for this meal…
and … When it came to cleaning the Crock-pot used to cook the potato, The bottom of the base had been leaking! The metal plate underneath had split somehow. So, I no longer have a crock-pot. I saved the porcelain bowl and lid, they are fine, and they may be of use to someone in the flats or carers to have as a spare? I got the slow cooker into three black bags. I may have to take it down to the recycling bin in the morning. It won’t fit in the heavy-metal waste-chute lid. Shame!
Then, I may be back… but I doubt it until the morning, with more catching up to do. Muckleworthiness and Crab-ends!

Morning Update:   Chloe woke me up. We got the medications sorted out okay. I was still half-asleep. I recall walking to the door with Chloe, taking the waste bags for me; I locked the door and returned to get a meal made.

Had lost interest in me getting back to sleep. It took hours before I faded. Flibblegonknackles!

Another Doreen Dementia Driven Day. Dangnab-It!

Inchcock Today: Monday 2nd May 2022

INCHCOCK TODAY

Monday 2nd May 2022

Hehehe! Managed to get some photos loaded at last! Of course, remember which was taken when and why… will primarily be up to Doreen Dementia. So it’s likely to have a bit of guesstimating.

This would have been taken somewhere around, or close to Friday, or maybe Saturday morning. I’d guesstimate, judging by the sun’s placement, coming from the rear of the flats, leaving a shadow, about 07:00hrs?

Possibly Friday evening’s meal. I remember making this little feast because it was the first time I tried those savoury fries. They were delivered on Friday (I think)… see that? I can sometimes remember things, and others not! The sourdough veggie-beef sarnies were lovely; the gherkins and tomatoes went down well with some butter. The fries were a little disappointing; not a lot of taste. A strawberry cheesecake and mini cake rounded things off nicely. Flavour-Rating 7/10.

On Saturday (Mayhaps), the blood pressure was one of the best ever! The SYS at 128. DIA 65, the pulse is low, but not enough for any concern, at 75. The wee-weeing had eased off a little as well.

My Chinese (Hong Kong) was made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer came up trumps; with a temperature of35.3°c. The highest it’s been for many a month!

I found some strange botches on the legs when it came to doing the Phorpain Gelling on Saturday (?).

Of course, nothing new, but the legs have been so good for so long that I was surprised at this. Whatever they were, the purple patches appeared to be pretty fresh.

However, the normal state of the leg veins, with the superficial venous thrombosis (phlebitis), chronic venous insufficiency (CVI), iliac veins, femoral vein, saphenous vein, and popliteal veins, just seem to have disappeared under the folds of flesh? The tibial veins could not even be seen? Mind you, Cataract Kathleen, Glaucoma Glenda and Saccades Sandra, might be affecting my vision, I suppose.

I had a treat on Saturday; oh, yes, I did! I made some of the cheesy baked potatoes, the first I’ve made in a long time. It could, well should have been a higher score, but I overdid the buttering, which marred things. Taste Rating 8.5/10.

And with no stab wounds, cuts or injuries at all! I saved three halves of the delicious but over cheesy buttered potatoes for supper! Mmm! And boy, was I glad I did later on when I warmed them in the microwave…

Then I decided I’d make some more on Sunday, with the last Leicester cheese.

I was on the verge of going into a Smug-Mode… and I made a mess of bending down to pick up some cutlery I’d dropped while doing the washing up. I tumble forwards, banging into the fridge-freezer, and the pots and jars on top of it came tumbling down, as the machine quaked with having my flabby weight hit it! So I had to rewash them as well! Humph!

Hey-Ho! Serves me right! Since then, I’ve had a nagging discomfort in the lower back.

Getting settled for the night, I decided to look at the end car park from the balcony, and I took this picture on the left. Hehehe! Red-Van-Man’s lousy parking is getting to the other tenants now.

The evening Carer was Cheeky Charlie (If I recall correctly). Always pleased to see her, and she gives me a little natter each time, Bless her! ♥

The evening’s kip was full of waking ups with a jump. At least I did get off to kip pretty soon, though, so I shouldn’t complain too much. IT felt terrible on Sunday morning, though, as if I’d not had any time with Sweet Morpheus!

All went well. Only two nicks shaving!

Ah, much better this time; I reckon that Trotsky Terence is losing his grip on the innards, at last. A bit messy, so cleaning and sanitising were needed after the evacuation.

Colin Cramps gave me a right nasty pasting in the left foot as I came out into the kitchen! I took a snap of it; you can clearly see Colin’s grip on the toes? Huh! He doesn’t often attack during the day. He does every night, in the legs, feet, toes, hands or wrist, so often I rarely mention it nowadays; just take it as usual.

I started to prep Josies chilli-con-carne. Chilli, Light soy sauce, sea salt, chilli and salt mixture and beef seasoning. Then went on the computer for about three hours and forgot all bout it on the hob! I chopped the leeks and mushrooms, ready to go in later, got the beans and meat in the saucepan on low light, and added her favourite seasoning.

The meal was ruined, and I had a job to salvage the saucepan to use again! It took ages to get things sorted, and then I had to start again from the beginning!

I felt like a right idiot! Tosspot! Still, Doreen’s Dementia will not be denied. All I could do was pretend I wasn’t bothered, hoping that she could tell, and it pissed her off a bit, too!

What seemed like a month later, I’d got the second Sunday nosh sorted, put it for Josie and got it on the tray with the usual selection of nibbles and treats for her. At least it tasted good… well, to me anyway. I delivered it at the regular time to Josie’s door, 12:00hrs. To my surprise, she said she didn’t expect it with it being Bank Holiday. Doreen seems to have got us both in her grip… Hahaha! I’ve never failed to deliver her meal, whatever Sunday it was.

Although I tell a fib there. I did deliver it on a Saturday a couple of weeks ago when Doreen had convinced me it was Sunday. Hehe! I like doing it for her, it is getting harder, but I’ve no intention of stopping yet! IT WAS MISSED when I had the stroke, but as soon as I got back to the flat, it was served up every Sunday again.

Oh, heck, I’m back in the high red zone again! SYS at 161, DIA 69, and the pulse at 75. The body temperature thermometer recorded a decent 34.0°c. I’ve had worse, a lot worse. It’s the past four all being so low that caught me out.

I served up my planned cheesy baked spuds with some crispy onions. By gum, did I enjoy them… yes I did! Hehe! I didn’t overdo the butter this time, and they were much better than yesterday’s tasted. Flavour Rating: 8.9/10!

Monday: The sleep was even worse than Saturday night was! I just could not nod off! Turned the lights off, lulled the bobble-hat over my eyes, and fought with the Thought Storms… all to no avail! So I put the TV on if I want to watch something that can sometimes help me sleep.

But not last night. I found a film that I fancied watching, with Will Smith and Geoff Goldblume, and I watched it all the way through, over two hours! I was telling Carer Richard about it, he didn’t have much time cause he had another call to make. He told me it was Independence Day, as I could not remember. Sad, innit?

Grobbleknob and Knackleboings! I can’t win with these flipping Blood Test thingamajigs! SYS is even higher now than it was Sat and Sunday.

I wonder why this is? There will be a reason. Bound to be… However, this has often happened before. Last time it shot up for two days, then suddenly dropped?

I took another snap of the end car park at the end of Chestnut Way. Haha! I can’t tell if Red-Van-Man had moved, but the imitators, three of them, are getting scared of the white lines.

An odd occurrence with the waste bin near the computer desk. I threw away a used tissue, and it bounced right out from the bottom of the container? I had to get down on my knees to retrieve it from under the c1963 cabinet. I did so with only discomfort, no pain. Casually threw the tissue back in the waste bin, and… bugger me, it did it again! Another ferret under the wood had to use the picker-upperer this time to reach it, and to avoid everything odd that happens three times in a row scenario, I took it to the kitchenette bin. All part of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? Hahaha!

I took a snap through the part open balcony door. It looked nothing like this picture came out. Another mystery?

No, I doubt it. Probably due to the eye problems and, of course, my life-long struggle with achromatopsia,

The evening Carer should be here soon; time to get something to eat.

Here it is. A flavour rating of 7/10 was given. I soon got gesticulating and ate it all up.

Then the problem of getting to sleep was tackled. I had to put the TV on, which worked; I nodded off at the first set of commercials. But the springing awake with an annoying body and mind jerking jump began, repeatedly. No thought storms, though?

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Inchcock’s Wednesday Witterings: 2nd March 2020

Welcome to my banal, funny, heartbreaking…
Pathetic, uneducated, dementia-driven rambling,
Inchcock Today… or Waffling Wednesdays Wittering,
After reading, you’ll sleep; no need for chloroforming…
In fact, you’ll be asleep before the end, I’m assuming…
This blog might be popular, by the end of global warming,
I’ve lost one of my three readers; he was from Wyoming…
It’s only my ailments and self that I can be blaming,
I make so many mistakes, some of them alarming!
I just want to make folks smile, do no harming…
But Vascular Dementia Doreen mucks me up… Charming!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I woke up and checked on the time, 0:400hrs. I wondered whether I needed the Porcelain thrown or not, mild rumblings from the innards: and nodded off again.

I didn’t wake until almost 07:00hrs. Panic Stations! At least the Carer had not arrived unless it’s one of those who do not press the chimer? The Thought-Storms rages as I fumbled and bumbled my way free of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a recliner.

I got to the wet room, despite Cartilage Cathy’s determination to have me over, and plonked my bottom on the plastic seat. Although this session was not so hard to force out, it started in slow-motion but kept on all the way through today. But I swear it was more painful than the last two days’ dolloping’s. On the bright side, it was over a lot quicker, and only a few specs of Haemorrhoid Harolds’ blood were lost.

While cleaning up and sorting things out, it came to me; it’s Richard this morning, so there is no need to panic and rush. Bless his cotton socks! He now comes to me last each morning or night, so we can have a natter.

I made up some waste bags and noticed how hazy and misty it looked outside. I thought, ‘I know, I’ll take three photos, left, centre and right, and try to get them in line on CorelDraw to make a header. Which I did, not too bad an effort, considering Shuddering Shoulder  Shirley and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete were giving me the jerks so regularly. Tsk!

I got on the computer, and this is the result: I used these to make todays’ header out of.

Carer Richard arrived as I threw away the mug of tea I had made earlier and left it in the kitchen. So, I made us both a fresh brew. Poor Richard looked well-drained. I tried to cheer him up; he was tired out and ready for bed (his!). But he still stayed a while, and we had a natter and laugh, an essential part of retaining ones’ sanity… if it’s not too late. Hehehe!

After Richard had gone, I went onto the balcony to take this photo of the end car park. The fog turned to mist later, but it stayed all day. Damned Pucking Putin! I bet the poor Ukrainians would like to have this as their morning worry.

As turned to go back into the flatlet, Oh, dear! I spotted the state of the ceiling near the doorway. It seemed to be a smidgeon more damaged than it was last week? Well, more holes!

Today, I used the other BP machine, the Chinese (Hong Kong), made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer. Just look at the near-perfect results! Above the deadline of 35°c for the first time for ages and yonks! The body temperature was the highest it’s been for weeks. Physically, fair. But mentally, and memory, well, not so good!

The hearing is a lot worse today. I think the earholes are blocked with wax again. I keep using the olive oil, to no avail. I even tried syringing them, no better.

I got on the computer again. Peripheral Pete’s neurotransmitters were frequently failing, and I had a few involuntary Hitler salutes, and Cathy Cartilage’s knee has been, is, and did give my hassle all day and night. But I mustn’t moan, it could be worse, and I might have been a Ukrainian, poor devils.

Cleaner Esther came in, spoke all the time she was going from room to room, brought the mop and bucket she’s bought for me, and as she left I caught something she said; Byeee! The ears really are bad now. Even the hearing aids make very little difference. She returned to mop the kitchenette for me. After she’d done that, she told me not to go into the kitchen until the floor had dried, so I didn’t.

I worked on the computer, it was so slow. I’m going to have to stop, I think. I keep saying that, but ith the eyes getting worse, now the ears, and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete giving me scares, losing the plot thanks to Dementia Doreen and the stroke. Can’t walk properly, think properly, memory blanks, Bladder and bowel problems, and mobility handicaps… But so you know? I’m not bothered; I’m more worried about the computer difficulties than my physical and mental ones!

Are the Hemp tablets I’m taking to get more sleep and are working fine; are they affecting me in other ways? Deep their from me? Haha!.

The contemptuous, hoity-toity, holier-than-thou, snobbish, haughty, condescending, disdainful Gentleman in the flat above has been at it with the banging, rattling and tap-tapping, on and off all day, into the night. And I can still hear him with no hearing aids and the lug-holes full of wax. But I’ll say owt, cause the management love him, he’s rich and has relatives working for… No, never mind.

Of course, all the above is written in jest, fun-loving, a leg-pulling, playful way that means no harm. The sort of thing that friends do to each other to keep up their spirits, and have a two-way game of verbal tik-tac between their associates, colleagues, relatives and all humorous, quick-witted, lovers of being friendly, and avoiding being a superior snotbag, and hating the less well off. Like someone we know!

Got the blog done for yesterday and went o Facebooking, WP reader and comments. I’ve got many ‘notes’ come reminders on my notepad here – that I cannot read. That is galling!

I thought it was getting a little chilly. Decided to make a brew and off to the kitchen. I soon realised why I thought it was getting a little nippy; Esther had left the windows open, presumably to help the floor dry. Hahaha!

She’s done an excellent job cleaning the floor for me; bless her.

I advanced hobblingly into the kitchenette, and you’ll never guess what I found! Herbert wouldn’t; he’d just offer one of his usual sneers in my direction! I’d better explain so you can appreciate the fun side of this incident.

Three days ago, I realised somehow or other that one of my three mugs had done a runner. Or, as is more likely, I’d misplaced it, like my keys, mobile phone, TV remote, my glasses or hearing aids.

There in and on the sink, were now three mugs back together again? What?

And this, after Julie, Richard and Cheeky Charley (I think), had helped me search for the mug. Not crucial, I realise, but so annoying not knowing what I’d done with it. Of course, I still don’t know? After putting on my Sherlock Holmesian head, I decided the logical (Me? Logical? Hahaha!) thing is that I’d dropped it between the stove or fridge and the fitted cupboards? And Esther had found it while doing the moping up! Or not?

I started to do the graphics for this blog, and I was going along nicely under the circumstances…

FORLORNLESS!

Peripheral Pete sent the arm right across the keyboard! Which was knocked onto the floor. But not before; key combinations must have been hit at random as the hand travelled involuntarily in an easterly direction.

I have to admit to swearing and nearly crying! The computer screen and all fonts icons were massive! I think about ¼ of the CorelDraw screen was showing, the cursor covered almost all of it, what I could make of it, four letters filled the entire screen. All the menus and choice icons had disappeared. There were no minimise, reduce or close options on screen!

I spent about three hours trying to sort it out. No idea what I’d done or how to correct it! I still couldn’t access the window buttons or the close program squares… my heart and spirits sank. In amongst the Thought-Storms; “With Hitlers’ arm shooting out, the hospital told me nothing could be done about it (Peripheral; Neuropathy), no one can repair nerve-ends! “This is bound, or odds on, to happen again…Is this the time to give in?”

I had to unplug the computer and hope for the best out of desperation. As I reached for the plugs in the socket, the screen momentarily flashed… this frit me, and hastened my lunge, and I pulled out the plug. I felt it was like committing Hari-Kari!

I gave it a few mind-torturing minutes, then replugged the computer in. It started in its usual manner… Now for the scary bit, opening the internet… Everything was fine! Back to normal with the sizing? Opened CorelDraw, the iconic on there had gone back to the small ones, but all else worked? The relief was phenomenal!

Moments later, Evening Carer Valerie arrived. It was guessing time at what she said; her voice is known for its quietness. Valerie got the medications done in record time told the story of the three mugs becoming two and then three again… I got a look of credulousness; I think maybe poor Valerie was not hearing me either. She left with her drinkie and nibbles happily enough, bless her, taking the waste bag with her to the chute for me. ♥

Worra Day! I’d had enough shocks and scares for the time being. Going to get a meal and some kip…

Carer Valerie arrived. I could only get permission to photo her from the rear. She’s probably nervous about having her photo taken; the police might have a warrant out for her? Hahaha!

Well gone midnight again when I got down, but Sweet Morpheus greeted me quickly enough, and only one jumping awake!

Inchcock: Sunday 27th February 2022

Inchcocks Morning Ode…

There are some things of interest, some nostalgic…
I wish to admit to and share on this Samstag,
Like my being an insomniac…
But not a kleptomaniac…
My ailments ensure I move about, looking like a maniac!
My stomach doesn’t look like a sixpack…
The flesh wobbles, flails about, and bounces back…
This is not my only physical drawback…
Cateracted eyes are going; I can just see a haystack!
The hearing is fading, teeth covered in plaque…
Medical bother, I can’t get to see the quack,
My hobbling pace is down to that of a lollygag!
When Jillie came yesterday, she brought me a snack…
Did I mention it? To me, she’s an aphrodisiac! 💘

Inchcock: Sunday 27th February 2022

Gobsmacking! I woke up at 06:40hrs, having had an uninterrupted straight six hours of kip! At last! I think the Hemp capsules, just one at night, must be working! We’ll see!

The fight to free my substantially flabbier and grossly larger-stomached body from the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner; went so smoothly! No Dizzy Dennis’s antics, Cartilage Cathy was hardly any hassle at all, and no toe-stubbing. Arthur Itis, Duodenal Donald, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, were all calm!!! I realised this may be bluff from the body, so I delayed going into a Smug-Mode!

As I was hobbling into the kitchen and working out how long I’d been asleep, I cracked the right shoulder against the door frame! The glasses came off, I dropped the empty bottle I was going to refill! Of course, I took in all in good spirits. After respectaclising myself and cleaning up the mess, and laughed away as I got into the kitchenette. Ahem!

I realised it was Sunday (I usually work these things out within an hour or so of waking up, you know). So, I got all the food and implements needed for Prepping Josie’s chilli stew. Doing pork for her today, for a change. Chopped the veg and added it to the saucepan with the seasonings.

As I rinsed out the lemon washing up liquid bottle before putting it in the waste bag, the bubbles went everywhere, including up in the air! Got back and reran the tap, but it was no good; the suds had died a death. Shame! Like lightning… well, I hobbled as fast as I could and got the Canon to photograph this min-phenomenon.

I got on the computer to finish off yesterday’s blog. The door chime chimed, and I thought it might be the Amazon man with the belated bleach, but it wasn’t.

It was the nippy, perky, Cheeky Charley Carer. Who told me off for spelling her name wrong. She got the medications sorted out, and we had a little nattering session. During which she took a selfie with the Canon, of both of us! Chose her choice of treats (Back of photo), and off she went, taking the waste bags with her. ♥ You just can’t help liking her!

Ten minutes later, ♫Oh Susana ♫ chimed again. It was the food from J Sainsbury’s. The chap took the bags through to the kitchen for me; that was a nice gesture. As he left, he mentioned that I did not look too good. Oh, I felt okay? The first thing I did was get the potatoes in a cool fark place. See the potatoes above? Sainsbury’s new slogan, Helping everyone eat better, Does not ring true, does it! They also had only one day’s life on Strawberrys and two on the yellow tomatoes. One substitute and two unavailable items;  Which really helps the new slogan get across, dunnit? ‘Sainsbury’s, Helping everyone eat better‘ Crap!

The food cupboard had room left in them both? And the fridge was looking most positively sparse! Ring-pulls on the peas and chilli were no longer on the cans.

No fresh garden peas are available, along with lemon cheesecakes. And the baked cheese curls were loose in the box, with no wrapping!

I wonder which overpaid dimwit came up with this Catchphrase-Motto’? Hogwash! Proof of J Sainsbury’s commitment to their new logo.

Got on with updating the Saturday blog via what bits I could remember and the scrawl on the notepad. I kept checking on the cooking meal for Josie, in between wee-weeing and blog working.

The intercom buzzed, and I thought the Amazon bleach had arrived, even though their Email said it would be coming twixt 15:00>18:00hrs. But I could see no one on the lobby camera? Mmm?

Eventually, I got the blog almost finished, then realised the time, and had to get the Josie-meal readied and served. So, I did! I’d made far too much. So I put another serving in the grey-lidded pot, so she can have another nibble later on. I have to say, this pork one did taste good when I tried a spoonful! Added the extra tidbits; The G&T, Yorkie bar, Cadbury’s chocolate mini rolls, cheese discs, a pot of Devon custard, and two tiny pots of pineapple jelly desserts. Then in a bid to get it to her before it lost its heat, I plodded out into the lobby and rang her bell. She soon answered the door, making her usual perusal of the meal, asking what is it this week then?

I told her I’d put pork instead of beef in the Chilli-stew this time. And again, she told me I’d have her looking like Betty Bunter. Can anyone remember the Betty Bunter character? I’m sure she was in a comic in the ’50s. The comic title was June! The lads had Billy Bunter and the gals Betty Bunter… not sure I can remember the comic’s name. I’ll have a look on the web for Betty Bunter later. Which I did, here she is! It was Bessie Bunter!

I got back to the flat and got all the washing up done. Then posted the blog off. Visited Facebook, WordPress Reader, WP Comments… all between taking wee-wees, of course. Tsk!

16:40hrs: The Amazon box of bleach arrived. As the deliveryman plonked it on the floor through the door – I thought… this is poor! I immediately had a bit of a panic-station, DEFCON-two warning come over me! I didn’t like the idea of the label being on the side of the box. Got it into the kitchenette and used the sharp knife to carefully open it. It was apparent that every bottle had leaked! Good job; it was crap bleach; it had only worked its way through the inner box. I had a bit of a kerfuffle as I got the bottles from the decaying box and into the sink. Where I checked each one and cleaned it with paper towels.

Having not long gotten over J Sainsbury’s insulting treatment, now it was Amazon’s turn to insult me. Some of the bottles weighed far less than the others; obviously, they had spewed out more bleach. Grumph!

I got on with cleaning and drying them, putting each one in the rectangular bowl, in case they leaked again later; at least the escaping bleach should be contained to some degree… I hope!

Francis

I nipped the Strawberries down to Francis’ apartment. I almost forgot about taking them for her this week. Slipped her a cheese twist pastry as well. I hope she likes the cheese twists… ♫ Come on let’s twist again, Like we did last summer, come on… ♫

Been such a busy day for me in some ways. Good job, I remembered, cause they were delivered with one-day shelf-life left on them by J Sainsbury’s! Oh yes… How does it go? ‘Sainsbury’s, Helping everyone eat better.’

Made a long-awaited start on this blog, and an hour or so later, the tune of ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chirped up. I was so glad that Carer Julie came to see to tend to me.

Julie kindly listened to me moaning about the Sainsbury’s and Amazon deliveries. She even checked the bottles to see they were safe. She really is an Angel to me. America’s loss, and aged decrepit Nottinghamians gain. 💗

The Sherwood sunset was not as dramatic as it has been these last few nights, but still a wonderful Mother nature sight to see.

The blogging was slow-going yet again. I surrendered to the eyelids’ demands and gave up. I’ll continue in the morning. Hopefully, Hahaha!

Inchcocks Diaries

Diaries In Short Form

Sorry, I’ve got some photos from Friday. But little memory.
Some scribbled notes helped, what I could read if it anyway along with the photos. I had things going bonkers-wrong: The computer, the camera, I could load no images on Friday at all. Got a few on Saturday morning, then the picture app threw a funny again. I was struggling to get the Local News Snippets done… more and more frustrating. But Saturday, I got the blog finished and posted. Then, got stopped again, by the most heartwarming happenings, Sister Jane rang, and the delicious angel Jillie💜 called – she came… well, I’ll not spoil it for now…

Friday 25th February

Up at 05:50hrs. Four & a half hours kip. Prepped laundry. Then hoovered the room and kitchen. (Yes!) If you had a painfully dislodged Cathy Cartilage kneecap and hoovering with the bit of vacuum while using a walking stick and fighting off Dizzy Dennis a few times, you’d realise wot-an-‘ero, I was! Hehehe! Ablutions done.

Carer Richard arrived. I was fine up until then, really, but the memory of what took place is vague and no notes written? Not like me, that!

Onto the computer, Snippets blog started. Got the graphics from the YourArea site on the web. No photos being allowed by the darned computer again! Interesting word of the pad ‘Froir Back?’

CorelDraw to touch up and add to the graphics, and got carried away, making personal words to use file, for the odeing (Didn’t get any done until Saturday).

Now we are in Vague-land! I got something to eat and took a photo hoping that it would go on the computer in the morning. Until carer Helen arrived, I think.

Had a nasty attack from Dizzy Dennis after washing and getting the nocturnal clobber on. Can’t recall going over, and no bruises or aches anywhere in the morning, so I couldn’t have. Cartilage Cathy had been bothersome all day; I put that on the pad.

I retook some photos of the sunset.

Saturday 26th February 2022

I had no record of what time, but I got up in darkness and found myself topping up the Treats shelf? I must have done other things?

 I recall knowing that an Amazon delivery is due today and feeling a little chuffed for doing that. I think it was morning Carer Helen who called. But it’s just a guess. After she had gone, I decided that I’d hang on until Monday and call the Doctor for an appointment; things are not right at all with me. It could just be Dementia-Doreen, of course?

Got the ablutions done and back onto the blogging. It was hard going. There is no bother from DD (Dizzy Dennis), just CC (Cartilage Cathy)

Spent many frustrating hours getting the blog formulated. I worked on presenting it at long last. Posted it off, to my amazement, the card reader read the SD card, so I got them on the file post haste.

These are from Sat’s sunset shots.

Then finished off and posted the blog. Hurrah!

Sister Jane rang, we had a natter. Humph! (Although this might have been on Saturday).

Heinz bean burgers for lunch, I like ’em! (Saturday)

Jillie rang me. And decided to pop up to see me – My world lit up! I got the template for this blog done, and Jillie arrived. A hugging session later, we were chatting away and laughing – What excellent medicine that was! Jillie had brought me some sausages that she’d cooked for me – Wonderful! She got me some at Christmas, and boy, they were good then; going to have these tonight. Mmm! Thanks, Jillie, my sweetheart, 💋

When Jillie had to go, wine and treats had to be forced upon her, and I found myself singing!!!

Oh, I better check on the Amazon tracker; all good, it says it’ll be here by 21:00hrs.

Continued to work on this blog, awaiting the arrival of the evening Carer, whoever that may be. Carer Elena, I think. Wrong again, it was Carer Valerie. On her phone again. No chatting time. Gave me the medications and carried on with her phone call. I tried to get her to turn around to take this photo, but as she was on her mobile chinwagging, she wouldn’t. Hehe!

The whatever they are called on the ends of my fingers on the right hand are getting painful; When they touch anything, including keypad buttons. They look like bits of food. I spent a while trying to scrub them off. Hahaha! I think it is specs of blood from under the skin. Then going back to normal, the returning, you get what I mean. Konrad Confusion, again! Something development in the Peripheral Neuropathy, I assume.

I got the belated Health Checks done. Starting with the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, made and manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China. (Okay, as it appeared to me, a smidge high SYS) But not worrying, it’s been a lot higher. No doubt it will droppeth like a stone. Or maybe not.  Hehe!

The Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, scarily gave a reading lower than ever at 32.9°c! Nervous of this, I tried the in-the-ear thermometer. I could not get a reading, just a display of Lo?

I got today’s sunset shots onto the computer, and they are here below. (I suppose you noticed them? Hahaha! The top two were taken first. Then the kettle boiled, and I poured the tea…

Then took the second two. But I don’t know what it is! I’ve said it before, but it’s incredible how quickly the colouring changes this time of year. Naturally, there is a logical reason for this…

Doing well now… I got the photos of Valerie, the nosh and the end car park loaded. 😁

Just look at those sausages that Jillie did for me! All I had to do was reheat them Bootiful! I must ask where she got them from; these had bits of red peer in them, absolutely perfectly part-burnt, just how I love them. I could get addicted to these, which is fair cause I’m already addicted to Jillie! Thanks again, you Angel! I ate it all up, not a scrap left on the plate. The only thing not so good was the Sugar snap peas from Iceland. They usually get Nigerian; these were Egyptian and nowhere near so sweet. But, as I’d long ago had a cuddle and hug with Jillie, it didn’t matter so much. The tomatoes were sumptuous again. I ate each sausage with a slice of the thin, soft Milk Roll bread, dipped into the BBQ sauce. Wunderbar! Taste: 8.9/10

Washed the pots and meandered into the balcony to take a photo of the end car park car in the dank darkness. Eerie looking, with so little vehicular activity and no signs of life!

Then I remembered the coming any time now Amazon order. Huh! Went on the tracker site to investigate…

Carer Helen, I think arrived. Bit of brain-block as to what happened, if anything worth mentioning. I’m doing this the following morning, and the recollections of the end of Saturday are very blurry. Not that I felt terrible physically. The memories of Jillie’s visit were still zooming around in my head.

I could still taste the beautiful sausages she did for me. Mmm! I know I took a Hemp capsule cause when I got up for a wee-wee, the bottle fell from between my legs. Hahaha! Which in itself perked me up.

Sweet Morpheus and an excited brain meant it took ages to drop off. The usual first-response, of putting the TV on, searching for something interested showing, and trying to watch it – that sends me typically off at the first set of advertisements. But not tonight… Well, I watched a murder documentary, nearly all the way through, a 2-hour program as well! I needed the sleep that arrived, but of course, it meant missing the last 10 minutes or so of the programme. Tsk! But turning off the TV, and I reckon I was off into dreamland within minutes! I’m sure I had many dreams… likely with Jillie in there somewhere, but I had no recollection of any actual details, just happy thoughts.

Ode to Thought-Storm Sufferers

Together we can get through this mental breach…
Avoiding counsellors who want to preach…
I know the confusion when storms unleash…
At times, Dementia Doreen can actually be a peach!
Sometimes the Thoughts arriving, I cannot reach…
Or forget them, and start designing my wreath,
Or, I’m off somewhere fishing, the shingles of Meath?
Not for me a sunny suntanning beach…
Picking pickled walnuts from my teeth…
Making passionate love to a hairy cailleach!
But Thought Storms follow – I’m sick to my back teeth!
Today it was Tony Blair, Hitler and Edward Heath!

TTFN, each

Inchies Friday Diary: Festivities, gaiety and other fibs! Hehe!

Fort Thomas News Exclusive!

After several years of collecting scientifically challenging reference books, Professor Billum and his partner HRH Lisa, who are now stuck indoors due to the snow, are tackling the job of reducing the number of books in his basement library. He hopes to make room to expand his laboratory and thus, make more room for his medical experiments. Inchcock (rear) said; the task is phenomenal.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Inchies Friday Diary
Jollities, Festivities, Gaiety and other fibs!

I fang you! A decent kip for once; I reckon I only jumped awake about six times overnight. Not good, of course, but better than the preceding three evenings efforts.

By the time I’d clambered tottering dangerously out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, haemorrhoid-testing, rickety recliner and caught my balance, I realised how evil the eyes were this morning. So, first job the drops, let them settle, then put some of the sprays on them. After this, they were no worse, and maybe I imagined it but seemed a little better than when I woke.

The ablutionalisationing was tackled first, even before thinking of making a brew of Glengettie tea (Worrying that?). It might be the fact that each time I woke up during the night, spongy emissions of wind were evacuating out of the rear end, and Reflux Valve Roger was sticking a bit, then bursting forth, painfully for a minute or two? But, I felt a little stinky, I thought – mayhaps the rear end emissions were going on while I was asleep?

I got inside the wet room, and the mind meandered off on its own. I got the shower going! Boing! I totally forgot what the time was, and after getting the teeth done and shaving with only two tiny minor nicks, thus assuming a Smug-Mode… I still didn’t recognise what I’d done at that time, and I merrily whistled (Which is getting harder each time I lose another tooth) and sang gayly to myself as I started doing the medicationalisationings.

MedPhorpainWhich soon put an end to the Smug-Moding, whistling and singing! As usual, I got the potentially most painful job of cleaning and creaming Little Inchies fungal lesion out of the way first. Agony! There are no pain or problems with the Saccades eye drops, Harold’s Haemorrhoids cleaning and creaming, ears oiling, or Arthur Itis Phorpain gelling.

As I was about to increase my level of smugness, it dawned on what time it was… and I’d just used the noisy shower – Guilt overerflowethed!

A Carer arrived, name? Erm… Gorrit, Cassie! She was to take the laundry for me on Fridays, starting today. I had got the bag and capsules softener all ready for her. She did the medicationings, and I treated her to some nibbles and a drink, and off she went.

Onto the computer to finalise yesterdays blog and post it. A message came in on the mobile, it was from Iceland Foods… Ah, I hear you now asking – Why did the pillock have another order from Iceland? The silly old goat had one yesterday?

Ahem! Well, that would be due to my Wednesday and Thursday’s Whoopsiedangleplopping. I made some cheesy potatoes for Richard and got his visiting day wrong. So, I gave them to Valerie, who came. Then Thursday, when Richard was calling, I made another dollop of cheesy potatoes for Richard again – then, I had no potatoes left. Hahaha! So I made a minimum order for today to get some more spuds for myself to have. That’s about right, I think.

The rain started to fall, but not too heavily. Then began to get a little threateningly darker out there.

I took this picture from inside the balcony, too wet to open a window.

Shortly, the Intercom rangeth. The Iceland delivery had arrived. I pressed him in, and I hoped it would not be the same driver as yesterday, or he might think me a bit of an idiot having a dirty-great big order, then another on the following day. He’d be right if he did, by the way!

He carried the bag of spuds separately, only two carrier bags, and he took them into the kitchen for me. Haha! I wish the bloke yesterday had taken the eight bags into the kitchenette for me.

I thanked him and let him choose which can of plonk he fancied, and off he trotted with a cheery farewell.

I’m glad I remembered to get the drain-unblocker. Not a lot to sort out this time. I got some cheapo Beef Jerky to go with the freebies to make the minimum order. Oh, and some Cadbury mini rolls.

Sister Jane rang, or did I ring her? One or the other. Dementia Doreen again. Total blank on what we spoke of… indeed am I thinking of yesterday? Sad, innit?

I then rang Obergruppenfürheress, Warden and Ballet Dancer, Deana. Not seen her for a while. The gal was at home. She’d tested positive for SARS-CoV-2 and had been isolating. She hopes to be back on Monday. I said I was ringing to let you know you hadn’t collected your treat bag this week – now I knew why! Said they would keep until Monday. Haha! Nobody tells us owt, do they?

And an hour or so later, the door chime rang out its’ ♫Oh, Susana♫ chime, and in walked Carer Valerie. She had collected my washing for me, and she’d brought it up to me. Bless her cotton socks! She said she’s made sure they were dry enough for me.

So, I got off of the blogging and sorted out the clothes. By gum, that bag holds a lot of stuff. Hehe!

I got in a pickle, found the coat hangers, put some on the door, and spent a good while faffing about. Then realised I was not doing this in a planned, smooth way… Hahaha! 

I meant to put all the rousers together on a rack and jumpers shirts on the other.

Which seemed like a logical thing to do.

However, Dementia Doreen had other ideas for me. I ended up with a mixture of trews and jammies on one rack and trews, jumpers and shirts on the other. Ah, well, at least I got them hung so the creases can fall out a bit.

The toploftical, unforthcoming, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, sniffy attituded Herbert had been giving me some tapping on and off for an hour or so. Now, he’s just gone into Turbo-Tapping and Banging mode! What a Git! Mind you, let’s not forget my Whoopsiedangleplop with using the shower early in the day? The difference, I think, is snot-bag superior Herbert enjoys doing it on purpose?

I made a rare mug of Thompsons Punjana tea. As the rain stopped and the sun fought its way through to shine on Inchcock Towers… well, Woodthorpe Court then. Hehehe! I grabbed the Canon camera and took this photograph of the view.

Then the hungers-pangs began, and my desire for some more cheesy baked potatoes overcame me. I got up some steam (I was starting to feel a bit weary) and started to prepare the third on the trot (4th Counting Carers Richards and Valerie’s) Cheesy Baked Potatoes meal!

Cheesy Potato Nosh – Flavour Rating 9.3/10!

Note: Only the four half spuds? No, not self-control; I made eight and kept three to cool and have later on (Cunning?). I would have had four, but I dropped one when putting it from oven to pot – it splattered onto the floor and a slipper, which both needed attention, cleaning sorting out. I may have muttered something along the lines of “Oh, bother?” Then, I feasted on the meal, put the tray on the Ottoman, passed wind and belched… and Flake-Out-Time!

Herbert started clanking and clunking away again, and I woke to his mechanical overture. Hehe! Pig!

Luckily it didn’t last too long this time. And I drifted off again. To be woken by the tune of “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chiming out. The evening Carer had arrived. She was in a rush, so no chinwagging was permitted on this occasion. Off she trotted, bless her.

I spotted the meal things on the Ottoman, and I took them to be washed and put away. Noticing the lack of wonderful sun-setting after three days of gorgeous one, I stood and had a perusing of the evening sky. I realised that even with the absence of the usually vivid colours for the last few days anyway, there was still a beauty to be beheld.

Getting daft or soft on my old age, or not?

I went onto the computer to work on the blog and visited Facebook, the TFZ and Winwood Heights sites.

Went on CorelDrawing; Herbert was doing the odd banging about, so it was not until gone midnight before I got my head down; off I went and slept a bit better, only about five shooting awakes.

ODE OF THE DAY

Wants (Peace) & Not Wants (Herbert)

Cataract operation, before it’s too late – appealing!
A friend with time for long chinwagging,
Someone who doesn’t hate or finds me appalling…
But I don’t blame them, and that’s a bit galling!
One tablet to stop my shaking and trembling…
The ability to once more try cartwheeling?
The willpower for me to stop earwigging,
A better than Warfarin pill, stop the haemorrhaging,
But most of all, I’d want, after some deep thinking…
The end of people, domineering,
And those who go around sneering,
Those who cannot care have empathy are non-obliging…
The know-alls who go around rubbishing…
Rushing, superior in outlook, verbally scathing…

Compassionless animals, one lives above me,
Above my little independent living flat, you see…
I nicknamed him Herbert, and he’s not trouble-free…
He makes noise at all hours, sometimes the whole day,
He’ll start again today, I guarantee…
He acts superior, and nonchalantly,
But, the things he’s roisterously making go to charity…
The housing officer says no cause to moan, apparently,
So I won’t, or might lose the flat, alackaday!
So untouchable Herbert will carry on noisily…
He’ll keep waking me at night, arbitrarily,
I must resist responding early morningly…
What can be done redeemingly?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, seemingly…

KEEP SAFE IN THE SNOW
Keep safe all of you, affected by the snowstorms please,
If you can, avoid driving and soirees,
Polish your ottomans and tallboys?
And for even more joys…
Try canned beans and saveloys?
Sew the missing button on your corduroys?
Have warming wine delivered by Pomeroys?
Play great music, possibly by the Beachboys?
But don’t contact the killjoys!