Inchcock Today: Saturday 25th March 2017

Saturday 25th March 2017

Estonian: Laupäev 25 märts, 2017

Stirred around 0245hrs, the dirty dinner plate on the next chair, notes about a dream on the arm of it and desperate for a heavy duty session on the porcelain.

Untangled my ever increasing body mass from the delicate and rickety £300 second-hand recliner chair and off to the porcelain throne. Once again, no bleeding from the front or rear… I’m beginning to worry about Haemorrhoid Harold, Hehe!

Got the dirty pots washed up, made a brew and took the medications, then trimmed the carrots and got them into the slow cooker with Mushroom Soy Sauce.

Performed the Health Checks. All looking good here too!

Perused the scribbled notepaper, and found I’d been dreaming apparently, about an underground fight with gigantic earthworms… or was it that I was shrunken? Whichever, after the conflict I found myself in a room being interviewed by, well some secret service type people I reckon, they were not messing about, and I was bloodied and battered during the conversation about my not renewing my TV licence? The words Linctus and Doormat (I think that is what I’d written) on the paper meant nothing to me?

Got on and spent the next two and a half hours or more, sorting yesterday’s mammoth diary and got it posted off. A long busy day, leaving me with photographicalisation to sort and post as well as recall all that had happened… mind you, seeing the photos helped me.

The view out of the window was almost pretty, with the sun coming up and creating shadows over the houses.When I took the photo, I thought I could see an aeroplane on the right, but it seems to have disappeared?

When I took the picture, I thought I could see an aircraft on the right, but it appears to have gone?

Guess what? I’ll tell yers… I went into the other room to do the weighing of my fat frame, and I found the missing camera! Perfectly naturally and to be expected, it was in the laundry bag! Huh?

Oh heck! Back up again by more than it went down yesterday! Humph!

But all the other reading seemed about right and no surprises.

Even the pulse had gone down nicely. Add the fact that Haemorrhoid Harold and Little Inchy had not been bleeding and Arthur Itis was so kind this morning, even after yesterday’s struggle in town. And Duodenal Donald had eased too, things were looking good I thought – That was before I tested the carrots again and managed without any bother to stab myself between the fingernail and finger with the sharp end knife!

Someone (Well a lot of folks) have said I am too much of a pessimist. Here is proof, or one of the root causes that I am one. Every time I start to get that dreaded feel-good factor in my life… Mr Thatservesyouright visits me. Humph, Hehe!

It’s a good job I’m used to it, or I could get discouraged you know!

Started this diary off, then did some WordPressing.

Did some Facebooking then.

Got the ablutions tended to, in time I hope, to catch the first bus at 1030hrs into Sherwood. Missed the bus, so walked down to Sherwood.

Limping along Chestnut Walk passing the vehicles and on the right, I fell in love with a single Daisy. All on her own she was. I had a chat with her. Hopefully, no one realised this.

Onto Winchester Street Hill. Halfway down I took this photograph below left, and near the bottom the second photograph.

These represent the beauteousness weather and the wonder of nature.

Also, that Arthur Itis was still kind to my knees and ankles as I poddled along slowly but fairly comfortable this afternoon down to the shops.

Arrived at the Continental Food Store and invested in some of my favourite Roast Belly Pork with herbs and garlic, and two slices of another belly pork that looked good, without herbs. A small sliced Continental loaf and a jar of garden peas and carrots with flavouring.

Arthur was beginning to affect the fingers for some reason.

I lazily strolled very slowly up the hill on Mansfield Road and called into the Wilko store to get some disposable razors. I left with the blades, a Citrus body deodorant for men (Of course, Hehe!) some disposable oven trays, Vitamin B complex tablets, and electrical extension lead with four sockets with on/off controls on each and one more of the Pure Citrus fresh air without water sprays at half-price, £1.50!

As I was taking the change from the helpful lady serving me, the damned fingers froze. I had to walk further up the road to the bus stop with the receipt, and a fiver stuck firmly in my grasp! Tried to prise them out and the receipt got torn in half, but the five-pound note was okay as the fingers relented and loosened their grip of steel.

Roy was at the bus-stop and had a right laugh over my fingers declaring independence, as he said. But it was a hard conversation as we had both not got out hearing aids in. What a pair we are!

Chinwag with Roy and back to the flat. Wee-wee, put the things away and made a cuppa and onto the computer to update this diary and do some work on graphicalisationing.

And there I remained for seven hours. The result (below):

Very late by the time I’d got it finished, and I was so tired, but semi-pleased with the resulting graphicalisation.

Got the nosh ready. The red carrots cooked in the crock-pot with mushroom soy sauce were appetising, the belly pork divine with the beetroot cheeses and pickled eggs.

Lemon Fool to follow with a banana.

I devoured it with relish and settled into the £300 second-hand recliner with a mug of tea and digested the evening medications, rather later than usual with the good strong Yorkshire tea brew.

The finger I had stabbed down the nail with the paring knife in the picture on the left seemed to smile at me with a metallic glint that said threateningly; “I’ll get you again Inchcock…Hehehe!”

I knew then that I was either overtired or going bonkers… perhaps both?

I repeatedly drifted off for a few minutes, woke, realised the programme had finished, drifted off again, realised the prog… you get the picture. The mind was seemingly over-active, and I have no idea when I eventually nodded off proper-like, but it was well after midnight.

I must remember tomorrow to add some of the Polish half-rye-half wheat Sourdough bread to my order for next Wednesday.

I did wake momentarily during a dream. I lay trying to remember it, but nothing there in the memory of any details.

Mon 3 Aug 2015: Inchcock Today:

Monday 3rd August 2015

0202hrs: Up and at em…

Little Inch was sore as soon as I moved the blood flowed again. Took me a while to get it to stop.

Laptop on, WC’d a few times, made a cuppa and finished off yesterdays diary.

Had a dizzy while doing it. Frit me at first, a bad un – but soon cleared itself.

INR test at 1230hrs today, got to see if prescriptions are ready too, getting low now due to having to take extra Omeprazole. I’ll see if I can call at the old place and fetch what I can carry while I’m in the area at the GP surgery.

Started this diary, made a cuppa again and then did a LOMM post.

Did an ode and then some graphics for the TFZ site:

Pretty pleased with this one of Janet Arran and missen.

Got the LOMM stuff posted afterwards, then got missen spruced up – Little Inch medicated, and tidied up the kitchen a bit.

Not much, just a bit like.

I tried ringing Steve of Age UK again, but still no answer, only voice-message thingy, so I left yet another one – but I think I have more chance of hitting it off with Hayley Mills than getting any help from Steve nowadays.

Got me things and set off on me walk to Dr Vindla’s surgery for the nurse to do me INR Warfarin level blood tests at 1230hrs.

Set off on me walk into Carrington, along Chestnut way, down the dreaded (but only dreaded in ice or going up the hill) Winchester Street, left and plodded up Mansfield Road over the hill and to the old house, were I got a few things filled into the bags for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, and took out some more rubbish to the bins, only to find the next door neighbour had filled my bin with their rubbish – which now lays on the floor at the side of their bins!

Up to this point I had been feeling pretty fair, but the angst began again now.

Got me bags and poddled out and to the GP surgery and got there far too early – so luckily I’d got me crossword book, and failing to find any answers without cheating kept me busy for half an hour until the nice nurse called me in to have me INR Warfarin blood level test done.

Out and too the bus-stop to catch bus into Sherwood and the Nottingham Hospice donation, using me free pensioners bus-pass of course.

Dropped me bag off at the Hospice, feeling a bit tired already now?

Utilised me free bus-pass again and caught bus into Nottingham City centre.

At the bus-stop in Sherwood I fell in love with the gear that this chap was wearing. Very natty!

In town I caught the tram into Bulwell, it was packed with animals sitting in the disabled seats with people with walking sticks struggling keep their balance.

I struggled out of me seat to let one of the disabled ladies sit-down.

A group of three young Neanderthals who were noisily nattering between themselves as they prevented the other ladies from sitting down, gave me no choice other than to talk to them about their behaviour and occupation of the disabled seating – that did a lot of good – I really thought I was going to get a pasting as they laughed, told me to’Go away’ using other words, questioned me parentage, then mocked me with a few V-signs as they got off the tram at the next stop! After all that the animals only went three stops!

No one said anything, most of them had what looked like mobile phones with wires leading to their ear-holes and looked very intent at whatever it was they were doing?

So much for the ‘You are on CCTV’ sign on a poster next to the disabled seats. Very effective that was!

Got the dizzies after they had left and I sat down again in a seat vacated by the scum-balls. Tsk!

Such is life nowadays no one spoke about what had just happened – apart from two of the disabled ladies who thanked me for trying get them a seat and asked if I was alright.

Leaving Bulwell station walking onto the main road I espied some flowers fighting each other for the sunlight- to try and get some seasoned oven chips. Town.

At the end of this plot of flowers was just one yellow flower that for some reason, took away my fear and apprehensions of what happened on the tram for a few seconds as I looked at its beauty and took a close up photograph of it.

Can anyone tell me what kind it was please – I’d like to Post this photo on the Birds and Flowers Photography Facebook page? I would sound more knowledgeable if I could tell them the name of this beautiful flower at the same time?

Went in all the freezer shops – no that’s a lie, I forgot all about the Farmfoods shop -which is annoying because I couldn’t find any seasoned chips in any of the other shops at all? No seasoned chips anywhere? I bet Farmfoods would have had some for me to buy… Huh!

After me failed mission to get the chips I caught a bus into town – I had to go all the way to town because that is where the only bus to the flats runs from.

The place was busy, especially the Nottingham beach.

Pottered around a few minutes until it was close to the time for the L9 bus to arrive.

I’ve been caught out before with these L9’s departing early yer know.

I got back to the flats, feeling a bit under the weather suddenly.

The ulcer starting to play-up, the stomach queasy, fighting to hold back me urine, and had another dizzy-spell in the lift.

Add to these, the warm wet feeling in me pants…

Got in and sorted out the bleeding – another pair of pants goes into the bowl to get antiseptic disinfectant soaked before wringing out and adding to those already in the laundry bag. Flipping ‘eck it was only on Sunday that I did me laundry, I’ve already got four pairs of undies in there. Tsk! Good job i’ve got a good stock of em in. Hehehe! Why I’m laughing I’m not sure like…

Despite feeling under the weather and all the hassle I’d had – that didn’t stop me having a feast of a meal!

Roast parsnips – Bread thins – Baked beans with sultanas – Roast potatoes -Potato crush x2.

The Bannisters Potato Crush things were very tasty indeed:

New potatoes semi crushed with Onion, Extra Virgin olive-oil, sunflower oil, salt, parsley and back pepper – I added some vinegar after they were cooked.

They were that good I retrieved the packet from me recycling bag to show anyone who’s interested what it looks like – ’cause it’s worth trying em, they were that good tasting!

Of course I can’t remember where I got them from – Huh!

One of me best meals since being in the flat. Rated it 8.6/10.

Glad to have stopped the bleeding Inch, the stomach calming down a lot, I got me head down – then the horrendous incapacitating cramps started!

 Painfully plied me legs with PhorPain gel. I think it eased it cause the agony got less within ten minutes or so.

Another frustrating day. Tsk!

Wed 22.4.15: Inchcock Today – Flummoxed

Wednesday 22nd April 2015

Woke up and lay there trying to remember me dreams without success – and realised I was shaking all over – not like in the song!

Went down and made up me medication pots, then nipped out and fed the pigeons – .

Then made a cuppa and got the laptop on. Fatima & Fred brought the family with em today.

Still feeling ‘Wrong’ in missen today… hard to explain but I’ve been making many errors and forgetting more stuff than even I usually do – worrying this is.

The sky was what I call ‘yobbo encouraging’ style today – that is clear sunny (not hot due to the wind) – threatening outbreaks of antisocial behaviour and already the young apprentice yobs are milling about at the end of the street!

I remember last summer and the hassle these nerks gave me with threatening behaviour and mugging me.

I do not want to go through that lot again – maybe apprehension is getting to me about this?

Did me tests: BP Sys 147 Dia 82 Pulse 89 Temp 31.2

Started to create this diary – not easy when yer mind is not with yer but off on it’s own little tangent like, if you know what I mean?

The shaking steadied down nicely – so I got Corel Pro-paint started and tried to learn some of it’s features.

I’m going to do a post header and then try to make it look aged in Corel Paintshop Pro.

I do not hold out much hope and am prepared for my usual failure… but hey-ho, here I go.

Back soon to post the results… I hope!


I’ve just popped back on to show yer me rather sad results of the first effort here:

Original wot I dun like here first.

The aged supposed to look like an old newspaper photo but doesn’t really does it now?

Still. I’ll use this aged one fer the Diary header methinks.

My next project was to see how easy it was to add vector text to a photo – it wasn’t!

I shan’t be attempting this again.

Next task to find out how easy it is to add raster text to a picture.

Back in a bit when I gerrit dun like…

No easier than the old Coreldraw9, in fact both methods are more complicated – or is it that I’m more used to using the old Coreldraw method?


I took a break to ring sister Jane to see if she enjoyed their gallivanting off to Concert Hall to hear the Czech Philharmonic after going for a meal. She said they both enjoyed the meal and the concert. Although they nodded off once or twice. They are off to get the free fish and chips with the Nottingham Post’s vouchers, and then going to the Senior Reds meeting for a nosh and drinkies later today. I said they were always busy bless em.

Should have cheered me that news, but…

Toyed with me Clive Danton Spiv photo wot I dun – applied Sepia to it and this is how it came out. Must send a copy to him in case he might use it in one of posts?

Got an email of support from Patti Bekert and Lynton Cox, they did brighten me up a bit.

Patti suggested I try St Johns Wort, so I’ll pop to the chemists in a bit to get some. Two genuine cyber-friends I don’t deserve but am so glad I’ve got!

I enjoyed doing the text for Patti’s photo, even though I couldn’t get the fill to change to wot I wanted it go to. Huh!

Had a wash and brush up and ventured out for a little wander down to the chemists.

No yobs about in fact not many people at all.

Got to chemists and the owner Deepak was in and very helpful he was too.

I asked the assistant about St Johns Wort Extract tablets and he came to me to explain about them.

They were £14.95 a pack of 60 so not too dear and I bought a box.

I asked if they would be okay to take with my other medications and he indicated it would be no problem at all.

I wondered down to the Lidl penitentiary and wondered round buying some biscuits and tinned mushrooms and left.

As I did I took a photograph of the sky and lack of people about.

I didn’t mind that – lack of people equals lack of yobs.

I plodded the roundabout route back to the concentration camp, feeling a little out of sorts and got the kettle on.

Made me nosh.

Bread Thins with thick sliced Sopocka sandwiches, tomatoes, small potatoes curried beans (Tesco brand, very mild) followed my an iced raspberry ice-cream lolly.

A slight change from me usual fair I know, but I ate it all this time, well nearly all of it.

Unfortunately while I was watching a DVD of All Creatures Great and Small I nodded off for a few hours.

Bit disoriented when I stirred.

Realised I’d missed me evening medications. Thought about it and took just one Warfarin tablet although they tell me not too if too late I just took the one instead of the dosage of three for today. Hope I’ve done right?

Took a Wort tablet too.

Despite the unplanned kip I still feel drowsy?

Did some graphic training – but the concentration no good, so turned to Facebooking for a while.

Thurs 16.4.15: Inchcock Today – New second-hand jacket for Inchy…

Thursday 16th April 2015

Got in a good seven hours dream filled sleep at last. Must have needed it.

Again I can’t recall any of the dreams – damn it!

Took me BP, WC’d and went down and made a flask of tea.

Took a photo of Fatima and Fred as I gave them their breakfast. Started the laptop to put the photograph on here and realised I’d not put me mem card back in the camera. Huh!

The haemorrhoids are stinging somewhat this morning, but no bleeding

Started to create the header and Coreldraw9 froze again! Gnash!

Did a bit of Facebooking and then got missen polished and fer me little hobble to the Nottingham Hospice shop.

Toddled down to the chemist and asked them about whether I could just take the empty packets from the medications with me to the Treatment Centre to save avoid the risk of me losing the medications en route to or from the appointment. All I got was “Mmm, you’d think so!”

I purchased a thermometer while I was there, the instructions looked like Braille to me, so tiny.

I left and started me walk into Sherwood to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop.

No sunshine today, but it wasn’t windy or cold.

The coughing started again en-route. Tut!

No signs of any pavement cyclists yet – but I was certain to come across one or two later on my walk.

To the top of the hill and took a photo of the skyline.

Very little traffic about – still Mr Mercedes managed to park in the bus lane and near the brow of the hill.

Naughty boy!

Down the hill and up the next one to the Hospice shop and donated me bits and pieces, then purchased a sleeveless jacket that had many pockets in it – one for me free bus-pass, one for me emergency medical card, one for me Warfarin alert card, one for me Police Pegasus at risk card… etc. I just hope when I get it back to the flea-pit there are no holes in the pockets.

Mind you, then I’ve got to remember which thing is in which pocket! Heheh!

And it only cost me £3.

Bit of a bargain… must check it out later for as I say, any holes in the pockets.

Had a bit of a chin-wag with the ladies in the shop and gave them some nibbles in thanks of what they are doing to help others.

Walked back down the hill and was tempted by the wonderful aroma from the cooking at the Nibbles Hot Food take away shop…

I joined the queue and got myself a small tray of Roast Pork an roast potatoes.

I didn’t take this photo, it is a Screen grab from Google maps wot I just used.

I walked on towards the dump and s I was passing near the Post Office on Mansfield Road – I saw a young Pavement Cyclist really clogging it toward me as he weaved speedily and dangerously between and around the pedestrians.

I fumbled to get me camera out and by then he’s gone passed me, I swung round and took a photo blindly but he’s gone by then.

As I walked up the hill I spotted a unique piece of Nottingham Street Art by the side of the wall. No idea what it was but felt it was possibly might have been some sort of goggles?

Mystery Object this one.

I plodded on and at the junction the Nottingham City Police Dog vehicle passed by at great speed with blues and twos activated.

As I approached St Peter’s Church a rapidly moving Pavement Cyclist came passed me very closely and then pressed the pelican lights further up the road and cycled over onto the pavement on the other side of the road. Tsk!

Up Church Drive and through a gang of about 6 wannabe young yobs who threw insults and threats at me as I hobbled through them trying to avoid being hit by one of the footballs they were kicking about while smoking roll-ups?

I’ve learnt better that to reply to these junior scum-merchants baiting – but it irked me to have to just hobble away saying nothing again. Put me on a low that did.

Got in the flea-pit depressed – WC’d and warmed up me take-away meal. Grand it was – marvellous… the roast potatoes were burnt just like wot they are when I had an oven and made em… Mmm!

Laptop on and continued with editing this Diary.

Did some Facebooking then got me head down and within 5 hours I think I nodded off. Tsk!

Mon 13.4.15: Inchcock Today

Sunday 12th April 2015

Didn’t nod-off until 0430hrs -Woke up 0730hrs: full of bits of memories of the dreams I’d had and noted them down.

Went down to make a brew and found no porridge – Tsk! – must get out and get some today.

Took a photo of the sky from the back and then the front of the flea-pit, everything was damp.

Laptop on on and me ailments assesment done: BP Sys 160 Diast 89 Pulse 75.

Arthritis Reflux valve and Angina all okay. Ulcer no bother at all. Cancer growth very tender. New ticker valve ticking away. My voice has gone a bit guttural and croaky. Eyes and nose still running. Haemorrhoids stinging a bit but no bleeding. Infection in the ears bothersome – but being as I forgot to apply me spray that’s not surprising like.

Translated me almost unreadable notes about me dream:

I was dashing about the rain soaked streets of a town – black and white this part of the dream – trying to get into shops but something always stopped me, seems like it was the 60’s to me, yet I think I was after some new batteries for me camera, obstructions everywhere… and in patches I found myself in a posh ballroom chasing after a cuddly pretty lady – not catching her, then back in the wet streets and shops, climbing the walls to gain entry into a department store because they would not let me in through the front doors? Suddenly I was with Dad on his horse and dray in the same dank dark and filling the tin bath one back? – Then I was climbing up the walls of a store again (colour images now) and as I struggled passed each window, chickens came out and pecked gently at my curiously pale blue skin? Eventually getting on the roof and found the chickens had laid some batteries for me camera?

Cold this morning, or perhaps I just feel it cause of me having caught chill?

Took me medications and started this diary off.

Coreldraw9 froze within minutes of opening it – Grrr!

Went through me beautification routine and got missen togged-up and out on a walk to the Forest recreation ground tram-stop.

This turned out to be rather interesting hobble photographicalisationally speaking that is anyway.

The first Pavement Cyclist near the college on Mansfield Road all but hit me, came very close he did. Swine!

Walked on and right into Gregory Boulevard where the ancient but beautiful trees adorn the pavement and share them with more lampposts than seemed needed?

It was nice to see the kids on the fields actually playing an organised game of cricket. Unfortunately there were no English kids, so expect Pakistan to rule the world of cricket in the next five years or so.

The usual weed-dealing yobs were lurking in the free exercise area. A feeling on unease was in the air – can’t explain it… uncomfortable like, made me feel a little nervous for some reason – but I could see no reason?

I plodded on and came across a site that made me smile and think of it as: Mechanical Triffid Attack in Nottingham – Nottingham Defence Volunteer Shoplifters Kill it in the early hours of this morning!

Might be a funny post it that somewhere?

The next Pavement Cyclist was even closer to clobbering into me, he had headphones on.

Swine! – Tsk!

To the tram-stop and one came almost immediately and I travelled, remembering to swipe me free-pensioners bus-pass on the platform before gerrin’ on it like – oh I do love me free bus-pass to bits!

The tram was busy – with the usual selection youngsters sat on the disabled seats with tinny music (I think it was anyway) reverberating from the attached ear pieces.

Arrived at Bulwell station and got buffeted by the other more mobile passengers in their rush to get off the tram and beat it to the crossing into Bulwell. This is very common on this route – and I have the bruises to prove it.

They were very put-off when the tram driver pulled away without waiting for them to cross the line and I heard a few chunters about it when I caught up with them.

I poddled over the line, across the bridge over the river Leen and fed some pigeons en-route to the market place and the cheapo shop.

Got some bits from there and wandered through the market place on me way to the bus-station and forgot I’d not got many of me porridge pots, so went back and got some, then started off over the market to the bus-station and realised I’d forgot to get me tomatoes – back over the market and into the Iceland store – gerring a bit weary and fed up wi missen now. hehe!

Got a pack of tomatoes and noticed they were selling some packs of small buttered new potatoes that were cookable in the microwave and tried a pack – I regret not getting more now as later on I found them to be absolutely delicious!

Struggled back through the market and to the bus-station and caught a number 17 back to Carrington.

The sky was getting a little threatening now.

We moved out of the station and joined a queue of traffic that I never found the cause of, but had me crossword book with me and pretended to be getting the answers like – in truth I’ve been on this crossword 19 for ages now – I can conceded failure again and will have to cheat and have a look at the answers before long methinks.

The bus moved on and near the KFC near the traffic island a ganglet of apprentice yobboes on bikes were stood right in the road being leary with drivers.

I took a photo of them little scrota as the bus eventually passed them and they rode off on the pavement of course, causing apprehension amongst the locals.


Got through to Carrington without further incident – and then remembered to collect me prescriptions from the chemist.

Back to the flea-pit via the thankfully yobbo free twitchel.

WD’d put the kettle on, then quite a load of purchases to put away.

Bought more than I intended to methinks…

Made me nosh for the night – kept getting the feeling I’d forgotten something important somehow – still got the sensation now, can’t seem to get it out of me head?

Worrying that.

Got me nosh ready and began to digest it with great relish.

Krakowska, the new buttered potatoes, tomatoes, cooked beetroot and some bread thins.

Really enjoyed it too.

Took me medications and watched a DVD – fell asleep.

Woke abut two hours later and started this diary.

Bit of hassle with downloading the photographs from the camera card as this newer, more powerful excuse for a laptop kept failing to recognise the drive – Tsk damn and bother!

Still, after rebooting it eventually allowed me to.

Just after midnight I got it posted off.


Inchcock Today: Sun 15th March

Woke up remembering dream again – by the time I’d WC’d it had all gone – no notes on me pad either – Tsk!

Made a cuppa and took me medications – ribs no worse, rear-end bad and bleeding, Arthur Itis fair, Angina good and no reaction to the fish and chips I weakened and had for nosh yesterday.

Stated laptop and did a post for the Soz Satire site. (Usual message now about the wrong power supply attached). Posted it off for consideration to Danny Soz.

When I went down to make me tea a leaflet had been posted through me door – an interesting one too… well curious.

Om Maha Shakti Astrology Centre – Address: Kirkuk Restaurant (First Floor).

“To many people have suffered at the hands of the wrong information being presented. He has been able to overturn all these injustices and turned it all around with true light of the angelic realm!”

“He combines both astrology and numerology to make accurate predictions by horoscope, palmistry, hand reading, face reading, date of birth tell abut the present future and suggests if there are any problems n you relationships or personal life or professional life”.

“Solutions to;

* Financial problems

* Misunderstanding

* Depression or stress

* Worried abut loved ones

* Legal disputes

* Health problems

* Family problems

* Looking for a job

* Childless couples

* Manglik Dosha

* Kala Sarp Dosha

*Pitra Doshra are only in your horoscope

*Any problem in human life etc…”

Well he seems to have all the answers – I must call to see him… Hehehe!

Did some facebooking then got missen ready for a little walkabout.

Took a waddle around the block – the sky looked threatening again as I did.

I thought there were very few folks about even for a Sunday- then as I turned into Church Drive I spotted a gang of reprobate apprentice yobs kicking over the bins along the side of the road and two CPO’s entering from the far end only to be greeted with two finger signs and cat-calls from the ganglet of gangly genetically challenged young gits.

I decided to go another route as a police car passed to join in the melee.

Down Hucknall Road and into Lidl to get some mint biscuits – ended up getting Pork Pie, biscuits, beef slices, bananas, sauce and Polish cooked sausages.

I had a dizzy coming out of the store and decided not to take a walk but to return back to the flea-pit.

Avoiding Church Drive enroute.

I stopped and put the bag down to get me hankerchief out of me pocket to blow me nose making sure I didn’t put it back in the pocket with me camera in.

Later when I transferred the sky and pigeon photos to this diary I found that somehow I had taken a perfect picture of me bag of shopping. Couldn’t have took a better shot if I meant to.

The pigeons came down – two unnamed ones today for their nosh which I had in the bag for them.

I thought the low Warfarin level might be causing the dizzies to return – going in to the haematology dep’t yet again tomorrow for more tests.

I had a Cornish pasty and beef slice for nosh – then fell asleep, luckily I’d set the alarm for me medications – not that I heard it, but brother-in-law Pete rang and that did wake me.

No sooner had he rang off I nodded off again!

Stirred after a couple of hours and started this diary.

Heavy eye lidded now again… Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Wed 14th January 2015

Up at 0235hrs – WC.

No memories of me dreams although I can feel them in a way – if that makes sense?

I was taking the card out of the camera and whallop the light bulb blew and died – I thought I might have croaked as well at first and I accidentally took a photo.

My first task was to replace that. Got the spare bulb then step-ladder and painfully mounted them and managed to changed the bulb without to much kerfuffle… pain yes.

The new style bulb is not very strong, must get a stronger one when I’m out later today in Derby.

Made a cuppa and got the laptop started.

Worked on graphics for later and did some facebooking again.

WC (Another close call).

Thought about the things I’ve to do today: Get light bulbs, call to see about camera, get me hearing-aid batteries, take me library book back, go to Derby to feed the mallards… there’s summat else I’m sure about… oh yes, collect me prescription from the GP… still summat else though…


Titivated missen and set out on my walk to the doctors GP surgery, took some nibbles for the GP reception gals and the chemist gals but… whatta-shocka. I didn’t realise just how severe the frost had been last night. Many area that had not had the sun reach them were treacherous to walk on.

I nearly did a ‘Whoopsidangleflop’ at the first corner.

Arrived okay with care and got my prescription from the gals and set off for the Chemists to get it filled, it was only some extra Phorpain gel and Codeine Phosphate 30g. But I was so glad to get them in now in case the weather does another nasty. The girls appreciated their nibbles. (I could have worded that better?)

I left and crossed the road to walk down to the Chemist and as I was passing the large Peugeot dealership every single car on show, and there must be at least 200 of them was well and truly frosted over… a job there for someone I thought. (Secretly trying to contain the smug thought that it wouldn’t be me nowadays… Hehehe!)

I got to the Chemist and they soon sorted me out with medications and accepted with glee the nibbles I gave them in thanks. (That’s better wording?)

I did notice some shaving foam and gels in the tiniest aerosols I’ve ever seen on a display in the chemists.

On closer inspection while I waiting for me prescription to be filled I found that the asking price for these miniature aerosols from France was £3.95 ($6.03)  A tad high I thought!

Off out and up along Mansfield Road to the City Centre.

On nearing the Cemetery, the same spot where I’ve noticed many pieces of Nottingham Street Art over the last couple of weeks including drunks regurgitated curries, the vandalised electricity box and the decoratively placed empty beer and wine bottles and – blow me down with a feather duster – there was another!

This time it was of the Nottingham Canine owners variety. Prettily arranged along the pavement and no paw marks on the frost either. But it was still freshly steaming!

I plodded on to the bus station completely forgetting to call into the hardware store for me bulbs. Tsk!

Never mind said I to myself – I’ll get them in Derby.

Got to the bus station and was on a bus to Derby and travelling within a couple of minutes – although the Red Arrow service uses motorway buses that annoy Arthur Itis, as you have to climb several steep steps to mount the bus. An elderly couple in front of me struggled too and I made a funny, something about “They don’t think about us old un’s struggling do they?” with a cheery smile – The look of contempt accompanied by an obviously well practised sneer worthy of HRH herself that I received back ensured I said no more to them during the 38 minute journey.

I made sure no contact was made with the Grumpies as I alighted from the bus in Derby.

I went straight to the riverside and fed the pigeons. Again for some reason the Mallards were absent? Hundreds of seagulls, a few Canada geese and  few hundred pigeons – but no mallards?

I assume the white snail-like object in the photo was a white pigeon or seagull landing? It looks like it has the same colour feet as the other pigeons. Perhaps an alien slug landing? Any ideas please? I didn’t notice it when I took the picture.

Then as I started to walk to the Eagle Centre to see if they had any cooked pork – the heavens opened.

In the market there were even more stalls empty today. So sad.

I remembered to call at one and get me bulb replacement. The chap sold me some that were the equivalent to the old 150 watt bulbs. (He says) £3.75 ($5.71) each. The last bulb I bought cost 50p (76c)! It was a while ago mind.

I plodded up to the butcher that sells the cooked joints and a nice looking piece of pork for £3.

On the way back through the market to the bus station I had look at some caps on a stall, but none of them were priced – so I moved on.

I espied some crossword books on sale at 2 for £1.50 – had a peruse and found they were my sort (Not too hard at all) so bought a couple.

Again as soon as I got on the bus it was off. I settled in and had a look at the first crossword in me book and spent half an hour on it – only got about a third of the the answers. Huh! I’ll keep it in me bag so it’s handy on bus trips. Mind you I still lost me last one somehow.

As we neared Wollaton on the bus I took a photo of some shops near the traffic island.

The ones on the left and right were closed down. Not many vehicles in the car park, another sad photo for the records.

When I got into town it wor a bit of a job and painful getting down the steps of the bus.

I must remember to go the the other bus station at Broad Marsh bus station next time – it’s a fair further walk to get to it and the bus takes over twice as long as the Red Arrow to get to Derby because it takes the scenic route through the villages – but as long as I’m not in a rush I’ll catch that next time to please Arthur Itis.

Caught a bus back to Carrington and went in the co-op to get the bread I forgot to get earlier.

Some apprentice yobs were again lurking drinking and sat on the bench in the cut-through, so I took the longer route passed St Johns Churchyard.

And again, there were no persons letting their dogs crap in the graveyard again! Good that! Because it is a lovely place and looked after well.

Got in the flea-pit, WC’d, made a flask of tea and started the laptop – many of the keys seem to be sticking?

Well, I got the light bulbs, got me prescription from the GP, filled it at the chemists, forgot about the camera, forgot about me hearing-aid batteries, forgot to take me library book back, went to feed the mallards but they weren’t there… how did I know this? When I emptied me bag I found the reminder list I’d made but forgot I’d taken with me… Tsk!

Had  big nosh of sliced pork loin instant potatoes with cheese and bread thins.

Tried to read me book but kept nodding off despite enjoying the book so gave up and snuggled down.

Then took several hours to actually get to sleep!

Inchcock Today: Sunday 5th 2014

Up at 0330hrs, WC. Checked the bleeding ‘Inch’ and Clotromozole creamed him. But I have to say, the bleeding was not bad compared to what it has been (Fingers crossed… mind you that often happens involuntarily with the arthritis). He was still very tender but I was pleased with bleeding being lighter.

Rather chirpily I came down and put the kettle on, started the laptop and nipped back up to the bathroom for a heavy-duty visit to the WC.

Huh! Now the haemorrhoids’ are bleeding like mad. I can’t win yer know! I have to be careful now, because I’m using the Cetraben cream on me skin, the Clotromozole cream on me Inch, the Phorpain gel on me knees and hands and now I’m using the Corticosteroid cream for the piles. I must not get them mixed up… oh dear…

Back down and I took a photo of the same area as I did yesterday of that colourful sky – but it didn’t come out too well cause it were so dark, still I tried and failed. (Kind of encapsulates my life that phrase Hehehe)

Back down and made a cuppa and some porridge and took me oral medications. Discovering as I finished eating it, the porridge had a sell-by-date of July 14.

Updated this diary, and went on Facebook for a while.

After a few hours and trips to the WC, I went up to get a wash shave and other thingies done. As I stripped off, there it was again’ blood from me ‘Inch’! Good job I’m seeing the GP in the morning, must remember to go early and ask them what time my appointment is for. Tsk!

More sorting out done, still tempted to put the bandage back on – that way I can feel it when it bleeds and help stop me clothes getting bloodied. Never mind and hey-ho.

Yobs lurking up and down the street again.

I think I might go up early to save me hobbling up and down the stairs to tend to ‘Inch’ leak, and get away form the yobboes.

I can catch up on me next entry if owt ‘appens worth mentioning.


Inchcock Today: Thursday 21st August 2014

♥ I was up at 0330hrs. (No choice in the matter, urgent WC attention required and I couldn’t get off afterwards Tsk!)

Usual brekkers, took medications and then thought I’d start the laptop and get on with some posts I’d nearly got ready for WordPress.

The laptop took an inordinately long time to start, I really am expecting the worst from the old gal soon. When she did get going, I lost the BT signal repeatedly.

Eventually I go both going after several reboots, restarts and complete reboot. Good old BT.

Spend far too long getting graphics ready for post later, but I did enjoy doing them though.

About 1230hrs, I did me ablutions and put me togs on, and set off I’d decided, to walk to Nottingham Hospice shop taking some bits for em again, and then to catch bus to town and go for a ride out to Derby, taking me books with me. See… I can plan ahead yer know sometimes.

As I was going up the little hill, I thought the skyline warranted a photo – hen I got the camera case out of me bag, I realised I’m left the batteries on change back in the hovel.

So, I hobbled backed to the hovel and got em um put in. Change of plan at this stage.

I had a walk into town (Took photo), and caught the round-about route bus to Bulwell. Then visited the Fultons cheapo Freezer shop in the hope of getting another pack of the cheapo but very good microwave pork sausages, and they had some in again, so gorra pack.

Then had a walk to the cheapo shop, but again, they had nowt in I wanted or fancied.

By now, me feet and knees were aching to say the least.

Dropped the things (DVDs books and a wall clock) off at the Headway Charity Shop, and bought a book, as I’d finished me Hitler the Commander book on the bus going there.

Believe this or not, but a Mobility Scooteress reversed and nearly clobbered me – I tooketh a photo, but she was well on her way by then.

On me hobble back to the bus station I called in Heron Frozen food shop to have a decker. They had some orange suckers at 10 for a quid, and Bread flats on offer at a quid, so I got one of each like.

As I was walking past the market place, a Mobility scooter came close to catchin’ me one as he went passed me and jumped off and went into the bookies… Tsk!

Caught the 17 bus back, cause it drops me off quiet close to the flea-pit.

No yobs about I’m very glad to say. Bet they’ll be out later…

As I turned into the street, the were a dead mouse at me feet! So I took a photo like.

Got in, started the laptop, put me nosh away, made a cuppa. I updated this crap, and posted it.

Did some microwave sausage sandwiches with bbq sauce, followed my an orange sucker. And ate it when I got off the WC.

Taketh care all.

Inchy’s E-Mail to the Nottingham Constabulary

Inspired by a letter published in the Daily Telegraph

The E-Mail

Having been bothered with the local yobs on my street, several times, and mugged twice. I’d like to give you an update on my situation.

Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Nottingham Sherwood police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Sherwood by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.

As I’m writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in Sherbrooke Road, Carrington, Nottingham

Three of them seem to enjoy insulting passing pedestrians and motorists, threatening them as the pass.

The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins.

Several of them wander off to set fire to the odd bin. When they get to house number 14, I am concerned they might cause a catastrophe, due to the location of a rusty Calor gas bottle between the bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I’ve just finished cleaning me windows.

What I suggest is this. After replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably their bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.

I trust that when I take a claw-hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you’ll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.

Thank You

Juan Inchcock Chambers.