Angina

Stressed-Out Again Inchy: Thurs 12th Sept 2024

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

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I woke up, checked, and removed the nocturnal catheter pouch from the day bag. I was eager to get going with the ablutioning. I seemed to be avoiding the usual morning depression today.  That’s good for me! As I pottered about getting the things ready to visit the wetroom, wind emitted from the rear end. So, sharpishly, I traipsed into the wet room to use the Porcelain Throne. It soon became obvious that yesterday’s Trotsky Terence affair was a one-off. I took this photo as the morning sunshine caught the General Hospital. It was captivatingly pretty, I thought.

I was smiling when I sat down. But no amount of urgings and pain would get things moving. So, I gave up, washed my hands, and decided to bet the ablutions after the first Carers visit. As I got into the kitchen, Carer Chris arrived. He got the medications sorted and my socks on. We had a short natter, not that we understand each other, accents and deafness on my behalf. Chris went on his way.

I began taking the things for showering and shaving into the wetroom, and as I opened the door…

It’s frightening how quickly one’s outlook on life can change. Depression can come on instantly and rapidly, followed by self-critical, lambasting thoughts and the desire to spit! I was so annoyed with myself for leaving the damned tap on to run cold. I felt I was physically shaking, I don’t think I was, but it certainly felt like it. I should have blamed 
They seem to enjoy their brain-battering battles to see who can make my life more rotten. I’m now trying to blame them, but I just can’t help it when something distracts me or I get two things simultaneously.
Looking back at my jobs with Tesco, the co-op, and security, I realised that many things simultaneously needed attention. Yet I seem to recall coping well with the incidents back then. In fact, I was the one other people came to for help, and I got it. The anger turned to self-pity and sadness. But I’d sooner have than than the depressions. Well, maybe not really; the guilt of whatever I do that goes wrong also gets to me. Embarrassment and shame are always lingering dangerously for my mental health in the shadows.

I’ve tried to pass at the Porcelain Thrown 3 times until now (16:15hrs), but I have had no success. Blood and pain, yes! Hehe! Luck, well, good luck is an alien to me.
Bad luck; A constant late-life disciple of Lucifer.

Carer Sham midday. In a rush, but she still emptied the catheter for me. I had filled up rather quickly, but I’d not noticed it. (Fancy that, me not noticing something, Hahaha) Thank you, Sham. ♥

I eventually got on with the blogging. And, dare I say it, I was doing well. That was a fatal thing for me to be thinking! (Worrying that was)

The keyboard stopped working while typing. The light on the keyboard was still lit up. The mouse was still working.
The depression that turned into shame came back. No self-anger this time, just pure frustration and fed-uppers with my rotten luck. Not being technically capable, I investigated the situation. What to try, so all my limited abilities turned to solving the issue. 
① I changed the batteries in the keyboard. Rebooted the computer –  No, that didn’t work. 
② Made sure the sender in the USB port was fully in.
No, that didn’t work.
③ I gave up on the keyboard and threw it on the recliner. Keep the pain-givers together. Then, why didn’t I realise it sooner? I realised I’d got a new keyboard I bought ages ago, so I decided to try to set it up.  
④ Getting it out of the box was a work of art and must have taken me about ten minutes of struggling. Now, how do I set it up. I investigate the new keyboard further.
⑤ It was a bit of another struggle for me to get the battery hinge off. Fancy that!) Then, I saw it took AAA batteries, not the AA ones I have lots of in the flat!
⑥ Then a stroke of luck. (Worrying that was).
I found that the batteries were inside the computer!
⑦ I put the keyboard dongle in the USB port. Took out the old one. And rebooted the computer.
⑧ I bothered me that it was working. Then I got a Windows message telling me it had been successfully loaded, so I opened WordPress. And would you believe it…
HURRAH! It worked!
Of course, it had cost me two and a half hours to get it to work. But working it is! YeeHaa!

Now, to get the photos of the day on the blog. 
I went to put the kettle on, and Carer Chris called.
He took some photos on the spare camera and changed the settings so that it clicked when a shot was taken. 
He did it all so quickly for me, too. Bless Him!

No shower again; the hot water was not hot enough.

After putting the photos together, I found the one I thought I’d forgotten to take of yesterday’s meal: caramelised sausages, fresh peas, tomatoes, beetroot & red onions. Early evening sky, Bootiful!

I was going to turn on the TV to watch ‘Heartbeat’ while continuing the blog.

I could not find the remote control!
I got the torch and looked underneath the dilapidated, breaking up, partially doored, second-hand bought Hopewell’s E-plan cabinet, with 7 drawers, of which two are still working, hoping to find that the remote had fallen and slid underneath it. I found pens, a pencil, and dried-rock-solid fresh peas. Along with a 1960 Scan Security Certificate of Merit, training courses passed, and two of the missing Health Alert wristbands… along with an old laptop, four AA batteries and an old pair of glasses in a case. But, no remote!
I then searched almost everywhere: the junk room, hallway, wet room, and Kitchen. I even looked on the balcony. But no remote was found.

Then I foolishly tackled moving the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. Moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-filthied, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. I couldn’t get down to look underneath, as the last time I tried, I could not get up again.

So, hauling it around, inches at a time, in the small space it stood in was the only option.
I hoovered as I went along to reduce the mountain of dust, more rock-solid garden peas, more pens, and yet another mystery: three packets of French Fries with a sell-by date of February 2020. Ahem! This made me feel so guilty.
I nudged the chair a little more and…
Saw a corner of the remote control sticking out. 
Got the bugger! But as I bent down to pull it clear, Back-Pain-Brenda and Dizzy Dennis kicked off, and with the physical jerks, I’d tangled the catheter pouch strappings that needed sorting out. I was not in good shape and left the chair all askew, and I got on the computer to make this rather sad report for my multitude of blog followers. I hope they can both see the funny side. 
I could, even in such pain. Hahaha! Carer Chris is coming later, I’ll beg him to help me get the recliner back in position. It’s up against the bed at the moment. And I’ll ask him for extra Codeine. I missed one earlier, so it should be okay, I am allowed up to four a day.

Carer Chris turned up, looking a little tired. I told him of the farce with the remote-searching mess, and he quickly put the recliner back in position for me. 
I was still a little ‘out of it,’ Chris picked up on this. Thanks to him, I got the nocturnal pouch fitted, the diabetic socks removed, and a Codeine given. He also took the waste bags on his way out. Thanks, Chris!

I will get something to eat now. But I’ll not cook in this tired and confused state, and dragging or carrying the nocturnal bag around is too risky! I’ve got some chicken and fresh peas in the fridge. I’ll have a pot of instant potato with them. I won’t look good or be fine dining, but I must eat, and I’ll pray that the ailments let me rest and recuperate for once. Then in the early morning, I must get a good shower and shave. Please let me wake up early!
But first, please let me get some sleep! I don’t know who I’m talking to; it’s out of desperation.

Please give me a break tonight. I have Back-Pain-Brenda, Sherida’s Electrical Shocks, Dizzy Dennis, Cartilage Chloe & Carole, Anne Gyna, & other ailments.
That should do it. Hahaha!


Confused and tired, I made the no-cooking meal. No problem with the trailing 4ft nocturnal extension tube & pouch.

After washing the pots, I took five shots of the early-morning views from the kitchen. This is the only one that came out reasonably.
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I settled in the £300 second-hand shop recliner I purchased in 1966, which caused welts, was uncomfortable, did not work, was itch-inspirational, and contained crumbs.
I was intending to watch a recorded episode of ‘Heartbeat’. Soon, I was with Sweet Morpheus for two minutes at a time, repeatedly waking up with a jolt.
I gave up the TV idea, and amazingly, or perhaps not. I slowly drifted of back into the land of nod. 
I woke up five hours later, and the door chime rang out when Carer Maryham arrived.

Another day in the life of Inchy Gerald Chambers.
Living Proof that Bad Luck in later life is to be expected. Nae, in his case, is guaranteed.
Without Cogniscent Impairment Iris, Doreen Dementia and all the ailments he’s accrued, life would be so dull.
Dull sounds attractive to him.
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TTFN

Phlogogenetic Inchy: Tuesday 10th September 2024

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TOP OF THE MORNING!

I got my head down last night, about 01:00hrs. I woke up at 01:15hrs. Nodded off again, waking up with an streaking up my right leg that nearly me nudged out of the bed. I’m sure I heard a buzzing coming from the leg and bottom! Luckily, I hit my head on the anti-fall bar. But sleep was out of the question. 
I tried, but the shocks were coming so often I gave up and went on the computer. Once on there, the shocks stopped. But I was concentrating on just for once, getting the blog finished earlier, sooner, quicker. When I eventually realised that they were no longer coming, well, the odd one now and then, it was too late to get back in bed cause the carer would be here in a couple of hours. So, I decided to get the ablutions done. No showering; the noise from the drain would wake those below me up. I extracted the nocturnal pouch from the catheter. The shocks had at least made me pass more wee-wee. Hahaha! Expecting reluctance from Constipation Conrad, I got in the wet room and picked up the crossword book. It wasn’t needed or used. Tsk! I casually but carefully got the PPs off and sat on the plastic seat.
Well, no torpedoes today; there was no doubt that Trotsky Terence had regained command of things rear-end-wise. The porcelain filled up with what looked like Oxo cubes, but Kharki, not brown, and many of them.
Getting cleaned up, washing the lower regions, and then getting the fresh PPs on was as difficult and painful as ever. It took me so long that I feared the Carer’s time was coming, so I rushed the shaving and body wash. The same goes for medications. The results were four shaving nicks and one deep cut. A stubbed toe – miraculously, I didn’t knock the ingrowing toenail! Also, I forgot to do the teeth. I got a long Kaghoule on and went into the kitchen, fancying a mug of Glengettie. 
I took these photos, although they were not good ones, of the morning view. I went to turn on the computer, but I got distracted by the noise from the baby alarm in the hallway. I never made the brew!
It was some mail that made the noise I heard. I was not in such a good mood then. A damned depression came on instantly as I realised the things I needed help with sorting for the letters. HMG sent three of them! (TV licence), the bank (2) and an unopened one after the shock of the first few. As I got on the computer, a barrage of painful… well, no, they just made me jump, but this time went on and on at me. This encouraged me to look up the cause of these shocks on the computer and find out if there was any help. There are some sites in America, but not the NHS. I spent far too long looking this up. The Carer arrived relatively late, not that it mattered. I mentioned the problem of the shocks, and she tried to help me with a problem from XL. Carer Sham, it was a nice gal. When she left, she took the laundry bag with her. I’m surprised I remembered that. Haha! 
I did a search and copied some information that I found.

Phytoestrogens?
But it informed me what I should eat and drink to help.
Soya beans & chickpeas, yes, I eat them two.
Flax – What’s that?
Broccoli berries have been barred for me by the cardiac team. 
It is too high in vitamin K. Tea is limited to two cups daily by Urology.

Advice: to keep moving. I’m bending down all day, emptying the catheter bag.
Cut out beer and nicotine. I did that in 1975. Eat Omega, found in fish. Last month I bought some smoked haddock, and very nice it was, but it was only a half fillet, & cost me over £6!
So, it seems that when they throw my cadaver in the fire on my way to St Peter’s gate, there might be more sparks and flames than there usually are? I must warn the crematoria. Hehehe!

We had a drop of rain this afternoon to teatime.
I got the Kodak out and took these three view shots into the balcony.
The rain didn’t last long… Sounds like something the wife used to say to me. Haha! 

I turned the oven on to heat up. I’d forgotten about the fresh beer-battered chips in the fridge. They are labelled “Use by yesterday,” but I’ll risk it. And a ready-made Shepherd’s Pie with a root vegetable potato topping. I made the nosh. It has a delightful flavour.
I ate it slowly and savoured every mouthful.

The evening view was one of those ‘everything-had-brown’ in it. Great!
I fell asleep in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner.

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TTFN

Hallucinogenic Inchy: Sunday 8th September 2024

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Well, apart from Dizzy Dennis, Electric Shock Sherida, Loss-of-Balance-Brenda, and the new ailment of ‘Ice Cold Tingling Titianna’, who caught me out several times as she gave me momentary bursts of tingles that felt like ice cold water, and those on the legs making me think there was a leak in the catheter. As far as I can remember, not a single Peripheral Neuropathy Pete leg dance! Duodenal Donald, Earache Erasmus, Back-Pain-Belinda, and even Haemorrhoid Harold were of little bother!
The mixed-up head & brain were the most prominent antagonists. That would be Doreen Dementia & 
Incognitive Impairment Iris. Oh, I forgot, the Mini-Seizures started on the afternoon, they blanked out much of whatever took place for a few hours.
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Another waking to find that the nocturnal pouch was too dark again. But at least the bag was a little fuller anyway.
I can’t win them all, but little things like this are good.
Cartilage Choe gave way as I turned to deal with the pouch, and I banged it on the ‘fall out of bed’ stopper bar. I laughed it off!
I dealt with emptying the pouch and sealed it for disposal. Then, off to the wet room, I trotted. Well, I limped with
For the third time on the trot, a nuclear bomb-sized clump evacuated.
Karki coloured. It was solid and so painfully slow to pass into the bowl.
I cleaned up, had a stand-up wash and shave, got the medications done for various areas, put on the dressing gown, and returned to the main room. That’s the one with the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, recliner, the ex-hospital bed in it, and entry to the balcony doors in it. I spotted its state: unkempt, scruffy, untidy. I had a twinge of guilt come over me. I was determined to find the time to sort the mess out sometime today. Cause it didn’t get done! My warped mind sent me off to do other things. I can’t recall any of them getting done, though. Tsk! 
I went onto the balcony, initially when I saw it raining and thought the mudslide at the end car park might be worth a shot. There was hardly any muddy water there. Then I spotted someone behind one of the vans. The Inchy  
But it got nowhere, as I felt the pouch tugging on Little Inchie. So I emptied that instead.
Then, my mini-seizures kicked off. Mostly short by frequent ones. All bar, the last one in this series, was a cracker.
I came back, as if to put it, and found I’d been on CorelDraw and made some quizzes. I found a mug of tea made and gone cold in the kitchen, and the worrying bit was that I’d left the hot water tap (faucet) running again!
In the morning, I found these dated shots of the mist and rain on the camera’s SD card. 
According to the details on each picture, these three are in chronological order as they were taken. I assume they were taken at different times because of their different shapes: the more square ones were taken on the cheap stand-by cameras, and the wider ones on the Kodak. So, I assume we had some more rain, but I missed it through a seizure, falling asleep, or Doreen’s Dementia. Hehe!
Obviously, a late-night shot was taken at some point. And not a very good one either. I think it might be bad enough to get into the Tate Gallery? 
Tasty battered onion rings, crispy oven-baked potato chips, wholemeal bread rolls, a giant spring onion, and lemon mousse to follow. I enjoyed this one. I washed up and got the nocturnal catheter pouch attached. 
Gone midnight again, and I soon fell asleep in the c1968, non-operational, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, germ-breeding, Harold Haemorrhoid-Testing, sickenly dirty beige-coloured recliner.
ruined another night.
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TTFNski!

Hypnosophy Inchy: Monday 2nd September 2024

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I woke up, not that I was too interested in doing so. Late around 06:00hrs. I went into an instant seizure and sat there on the bed for an hour or so. I don’t know what I was thinking, which is probably a good thing. Felt well enough… well, physically, to climb out of the bed. The night pouch had over 900ml of urine in it. I emptied it, sealed the bags for disposal and washed my hands. It was as if I’d blinked. I found myself in the kitchen, cleaning the sink. I must get someone to phone the Doctors for me – and get some help getting ready for and going there. 
I’m back into another seizure and found I’ve made a brew of Glengettie. Things are getting daft. That’s not the word.

Carer Richard arrived and sorted out the medications. I sense that I moaned about things and listened to his replies, but I’m unsure. His legs are bad again; Richard returned in the heavy-duty leggings this morning.

As Richard departed, I had a Dizzy Dennis visit. A bad one this time. I just climbed back on top of the bed to rest a bit.
I say a bit; I didn’t wake up until nearly midday!
Sod, all done, tons to get done.
Starting with the Porcelain Throne visit. It hurt more than yesterday’s.
The farting little day punch filled up while I washing, and the weight took the tube down the leg. Little Inchie took the brunt of it. I was fed up already! Mind you, it was late. It’s afternoon already now! And all the extra work to be done on the computer. When am I going to get the shower and shave?
I found these photos when I got on the computer.

I must have taken them during my first reluctant rise before Richard arrived, although I don’t know anything for sure in my current state.

I could not make much headway with the blog. I had to keep making things to replace the thousands of graphics I had created and lost yesterday. Or was it on Sunday? Obviously, the concentration was not good, and things were getting worse.
As the seizures eased and the catheter had been emptied for about the eighth time, Carer Chloe arrived. She took this photo of the stupid, harmful, annoying, frustrating, miniscule day pouch fitted.
I apologised for boring her with my moaning and thanked her as she departed.

I went out onto the balcony and took a couple of shots of the cloudy sky.
They held a beauty to me, however low I was feeling. I’m getting sick to the teeth listening to myself gripe about my bad luck, but I have to say, I’m having a lot of it.

It seemed to get misty again.

When I got back on the computer, I was more baffled than ever about what I was doing and what I needed to do. I had to sidetrack to get things I’d have normally used from the CD file, and then I started doing something else instead. I was well peed off with things. That is putting it mildly. 

I used the new Kodak on these shots of the mist.

Carer Precious arrived. With me getting up so late, I thought it was about 13:00 hrs… it was 17:35 hrs! The lad issued the evening medications and gave me a bit of help on the computer. I was struggling with having to make a new spreadsheet for the health checks after deleting four years’ worth. It’s many years since I’ve had to make one, but the new methods and layout in XL had me beat. He sorted it in three minutes.
Thanks, mate! 👍🏼

Took this sunset photo.

Worked till early morning again.

TTFN

Anthroposophy Inchy: Sunday 1st September 2024

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An even worse day today!
The Carer said this one was a 6 on the NHS scale.

To the wet room. The scab had come off the knee injury from when I took another tumble. The bottom of the leg had gone down a lot, but not the knee area

Constipation Conrad must have taken a vacation yesterday cause he’s back again. Arghh!

Got the computer on. And was doing nicely, I thought. Which for an hour or so, I was… Then…
When I tried to save the work done on CorelDraw, messages told me there was not enough memory to save the file. Try saving in a different location or with a different name.

I tried doing this several times but had no luck. I bet you are not surprised by that! Then, the message on the screen changed. I can’t recall exactly, but it said something like, “You are using memory while it is not there.” Remove as many unwanted files as you can, then try again.
 What a cock-up I made of this!
At one point, I stopped swearing, spitting, and howling and cried instead. But anger replaced the frustration. I tried all the earlier options again and deleted as much as possible. 
I found an NHS folder and opened it; there was nothing in there, so I deleted it. Then, a file I could not recognise was empty as well. Gobblediclonk!
I turned of and restarted the computer, not expecting that the CorelDraw would have saved the working file, but it had, well, most of it. I tried saving it to another name in a different folder, and wallah, it saved. I was over the moon!

I TRIED TO UPLOAD FROM THE CORELDRAW FILES!
THEY HAD ALL DISAPPEARED!
I’d earlier updated the Labels file with one for each day of September and the WordPress Templates for the same period. Finding they had disappeared is when the tears flowed!
I also lost all of my photographs, puzzles, labels, WP items, and others I can’t recall. I keep realising when I go to open the non-existent items to use. There are no health check listings or appointment dates and times. I’ll find more later, I know it. I now have to start them all from scratch again. Grrr!
Boy was, am I miffed! What a pillock!

I then rang a computer repair place, well emailed them asking if they do home visits and roughly described my problems with the computer, and there are plenty of them.
Then, I tried a different one: The Computer Man. After using their website to email them, I discovered they are an amalgamation of computer engineers. They will contact me when they can. I might have been better off not using them. Ah, well, it’s too late now. Whoever answers first, I suppose. Computing took me at least five times more time as I had to recreate lost items constantly. It was irritating.

I can’t get around to messages, comments, or WP Reader. And with my short-term memory, I keep forgetting the new locations of what bits I have started to recreate and need to use.

Just look at this later catheter bag emptying colour. It seems more like the colour of weak tea!
The problems mount up. I wish some help would.

I’ve spent endless hours trying to get going again, but it’s so slow, and I’m getting knackered now. 23:00hrs.

I did get a bit of excitement.

I saw the smoke on the horison and took the above shots.

I’m tired out, hungry, dirty from not showering & shaving, depressed, frustrated and plain fed-up!

I’m confused as well. I’ll see if I can stay awake enough to go on the WP Reader and comments. I did, but I didn’t really enjoy having to rush things. It limits the pleasure. There is some fine poetry and photography today. 

Took a decent shot of the early evening sky.

This is the window I forgot to close and hit my head on when I was prepping a meal.

Then, I took this terrible shot later while checking how the cooking was progressing.

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A liver, bacon and mash ready-made meal. Bacon and some instant mash were added.

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I didn’t, but I got two of them – Hehe!
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Yet another frustrating day.
I’ve had enough, I have to say,
Lost files, more time will be lost, thrown away,
Computer, health problems, depressionally,
More battles physically & mentally,
Mind you, the scabs fell off of my knee!
The one thing in which I was lucky.

I wish you all a day of peace and be hassle-free!

Dicacious Inchy: Friday 30th August 2024

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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SD CARD FOUND STUCK UNDER RECLINER! The last two lines added
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TODAY HAS BEEN THE WORST EVER FOR DEPRESSION
I’m sorry, but things are getting gradually worse.
The insurance company has cancelled my policy for some reason. Carer Kara told me not to worry weeks ago when they sent a letter telling me I had not paid. Kara had sent the month through the bank, as she is my official representative.
Now it seems I have a different Carer, who can’t talk to the bank, and muggings here can’t get through because I’ve forgotten how to do it. The new catheter is a night and day, mare.
Concentration is taken over by worrying.
I have had the odd moment of feeling easier, but that only comes when I give up and think silly things.
Not in good shape at the moment.
I’ve not done many photos.
The electric shocks have lessened after yesterday.
Carer Precious. Carer Maryham. She helped me get dressed after checking the body for marks and ointmentating the chest and ‘other’ areas. She helped me put on the Yaohuole gown, put the old one in the laundry bag, and took it down for me as she left. Bless her.
I was not feeling down at all; in fact, I was high.
Later, Carer Joanne called with a training Carer. She was Carer Šelin. Nice gal. Listened to Joanne’s instructions.
I was then even higher, singing.
Then, later, Carer Chris arrived. A letter from the insurance company had been delivered. This is terrible news for me. How the hell can I sort it out now?
I’ll do my best. I’m struggling.
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Not a lot, but clear.

First view.

Guess where I went…
Not that I was too bothered; I’d sank a little.

Second photo.

While up, I got the pander peas podded.
I shelled them and put them in the pan with some demerara sugar, and this time, I used ordinary salt.


Lack of concentration.
Fed up. I wrote a terribly sour ode, but I am unsure if I should publish it on tomorrow’s blog. It is a cry for help, I think.
See how things go the morrow.

I was sorely tempted to start on the booze again.
I’m sure I will soon. That’s how bad the depression is getting to me today. Bad!

When the seizures started, I couldn’t have cared less. Dark thoughts milled around.
Self-pity and loathing at the same time.

I’ve no idea why I put this on? I took it weeks ago.

No memory of taking these four, but it looks like I did them all at the same time; it may have been before I got the spuds in the oven on a low heat for later.
Beautiful!

And stayed in there for about three hours!
I may have to have instant mash later. Tsk!

Tried to catch up with the blogging. I’d spent so much time being depressed, coping with seizures or emptying this ridiculously tiny day catheter pouch.

If I recall correctly, I was going to check on the state of the spuds and got distracted by the changing sky.
The spuds were left for another hour and a half before I remembered about them!

Went to salvage what I could.

A slight altercation getting the spuds out of the oven.
The meal didn’t look attractive.
A vegetarian one this time.
But it tasted good to me.

After Carer Chris had departed, I washed the things, put them away, and took these sun-setting shots.
Looked a little like a water painting job.

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TTFN

Denizen Inchy: Thursday 29th August 2024

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Annovera bad day, mood-wise.

0:45hrs: Pretty yellow wee-wee. Not much, mind you.

Morning views.
From the kitchen.

I got some clothes that no longer fit me and made two more bags. I don’t know how I can get them to the charity shop. I’m not putting the old stuff in it; they went in the waste bags.
I got the computer booted and made a brew of Glengettie. The following two did as well.

This tiny catheter pouch is more than a nuisance. It has to be emptied to soften, and the cup-of-water-sized bag makes it painful. I get dizzy when I have to bend down to reach the release valve, which still rests on my left foot. The mega-thick tube they put on is far too long.
Hey-Ho!

I finished and sent off yesterday’s blog. Then, they started a new word list for the ode and got carried away. I don’t know why the pouch didn’t burst.

The Morrison order arrived.

I think my feeling as depressed as I am may be worse than the frustration of not being able to pull out of it? 

I’d treated myself to luxury foodstuffs: a big pot of Lemon Curd and four tiny pots of Lemon and lime yoghourt.
Orange and yellow tomatoes and some giant red spring onions. Nice!
But the best bit of it all was being told they had no fresh garden peas available. Knowing the season was ending, but, they sent three 500gr  bags for me!
So, everything else was backlighted.

I was tempted to put my torque on. Hehe!
As I scattered so many peas all over the kitchen, there must have been… well, I’d guestimate about twenty peas over the whole session, which pinged off in different directions during the shelling session. I only managed to retrieve three of them.
It’s a little like socks that disappear when put into the washer or spin dryer, never to be seen again.
It took a long time to complete them, and I kept popping some in my mouth as I went along. Haha!
Then, I put them in a mini saucepan to marinate with the demerara sugar and sea salt I’d added.
I thought I’d watch the TV while continuing the blogging.
But I didn’t. It seems that some Whoopsiedangleplop had affected Virgin TV. Again!

I decided to get the ablutions tackled. And although something had to go wrong, it was chicken feed compared to my usual disasters.
The teeth-cleaning saw no blood leaks! The nasal clearing saw none either. Then the shaving was tackled… Believe it or not, but once again, no cuts – Zero! Had I not been already depressed so much, this would have cheered me up more.
The first obstacle that hindered (hurt) me so much was getting my diabetic socks off! Then offing the straps from the pathetic new catheter contraption. Painfully, I
finally got them off, and it had left me feeling a smidge dizzy from all the bending down.
But a man of my calibre, courage, determination, and grit, this was no trouble.
I had a slow, long shower, which was spoilt a tiny bit by having to use the handrails all the time while coping with the showerhead due to my unsteadiness. However, no stubbles, falls, or banging into anything were suffered! .

I realised I had not put the bath towel in the bag yesterday! I don’t like using one too often. But I lost one when someone nicked my laundry and bag a few weeks ago, and I keep forgetting (as is to be expected) to buy a new one. I recall thinking to myself, “I must order one today,” as I left the wet room to get dressed.
Even the medicating was almost pain-free! Amazing!
, who has not visited me for days now, took her opportunity at the optimum time to issue the maximum pain. As I was carrying the stick, towels, Alarm bracelet, and flannels to go in the laundry bag before I got dressed, she kicked off, and in the process, she shoulder-charged the bloody door frame!
Still, apart from this, I’d done well! As I emptied the pouch for the fifteenth time today, I saw how good the legs looked. Even the ankle ulcers seemed to be calmer. And incidentally, I’ve hardly had any of the expected lighting strikes from , either. Puzzling.

Took this snap of the clouds as I started getting the food prepared. 
Closing WP and the computer now. Hunger has returned to torment me. Haha!

I was happy with the result of the food prepping. It was the battle in podding the peas. I do love them peas. It may have been a higher rating, but the potatoes weren’t cooked enough; everything else was a treat. Adding the slices of red spring onion to it did the trick and tanged it all up. After gorging myself, I fell asleep with the tray balancing on my super-floppy ginormous belly. Work later with it in the same position, and not spread all over me and the floor. The ablutions going so well, too. Is my luck changing for the better? What am I saying… Tsk!
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Please Have a Great Day!
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Decrustable, Grumpy Inchy: Wed 28 Aug 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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Something’s gone wrong with Cathy Cathere’s Contraption. A great colour, but so little urine in there? It was a terrible night’s sleep. I’d estimate I managed a maximum of around two hours. One or two minutes at a time, then bursting awake with either a tug at or pushing in of poor Little Inchie from the too-thick and too-long catheter tube. Or in unison, belting up the legs. Each time, the shadow of depression waiting to piss me off even more than getting little sleep did!
It was another down-in-the-dumps start to the day.

However, I was absolutely exasperated with and sick of hearing myself moan, feeling so melancholy, dejected, useless, and at the lowest point in my life. I made a concerted effort to spring myself out of this feeling of self-hatred and despondency, although I had no idea how to do that. I thought I’d try to take a decent shot of the morning’s view. Ha!
I didn’t do a good job of that either. Humph!
I got the computer on and then started updating yesterday’s blog. . I went into a few separate but carried on. Thinking things were okay.
I even stopped a few times over an hour or two to photograph the late-morning views.
When I returned to the computer, I found that I had made a mess of many things.
A time gap between starting and thinking I’d amended everything felt like it should have been another hour at most. But when Carer Shaq arrived, three hours had passed.
Still, these photos were a little better quality. As you can see by their shape, they were taken with a spare camera of a different size.
I can’t recall taking this one on the left, but obviously, I did. I must have.
Carer Marie arrived to do the domestics, but I was in no condition for the usual laugh and natter. My mood had sunken as soon as the Dark Dank Determined to Dampen my Spirits Depression came on. I hate it when this happens. This was a long one.
Carer Kimberley came to do the financials, but once again, she could do nothing to help. Carer Kara is the only person registered with the bank, so as I was paying her, we chatted. She showed an interest in today’s second blog I was writing but had not completed, and I added her name, which rhymed with the ode, and a few others into it at the end. Hehehe! Not that the ode was a particularly funny one. It was about the depression I was suddenly getting every day now. But gave it an amusing ending.

I sorted out what to have for my nosh. I decided on a sweet and sour vegetable ready-made meal. I added half a jar of sauce, with a can of peas thrown into the saucepan to add when the Chinese are cooked. Fingers crossed.

Nipped out on the balcony to take more shots of the views on offer.
Can you see what this young, youthful, pareidoliaing addict can do in the snap on the left in the clouds? A double-headed creature of some sort? Also, some cat’s heads?

I came across this one on the right in the morning while updating.
Two Fingers to the Word? No recollection of taking it. I must have been depressed or in a seizure again.
Ah, I can recall with one with some pleasure. First, I’d put some chips in the oven. Later, I warmed up the sweet and sour vegetable ready-made meal in the microwave and added a tin of peas. I bundled it all in a dish and feasted away.
Got the dishes washed and tried but failed on the Porcelain Throne.
I took these sky photos as I made my way to the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner.

I settled down to watch two episodes of ‘Heartbeat’.
Carer Israel arrived. I remembered telling him the Warfarin dosages had changed. As soon as the lad departed, I went into a deep but dream-filled sleep, with the usual wakening ups from . I was a little miffed at all the waking-ups but even more unsettled for not recalling any details of the dreams. Suddenly, Carer Israel was back on his last visit. And I was in the same position as I was when he arrived for his previous visit… he told me. Hehehe!

Of course, I’d missed the ‘Heartbeats’.

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Could I get back to sleep this time? No!
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TTFNski
Inchy.

Chump Inchy: Mon 26th Aug 2024

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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Things were going so slowly and messy last night. It was about 03:00hrs this morning before I collapsed in a confused and tired condition mentally, into the the second-hand shop bought ten years ago £300, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner. I nodded of quickly, waking
three hours later, to one hell of a slow, single current that crawled up from the ankle to my crutch!
Leaving a never-felt-before tingling sensation at the end of .
As I checked the nocturnal pouch, I discovered the urine looked murky, to say the least. Yet it was not such a deep colour today.

 I’m still in control. I must remember to take some Senna tablets later on.I had a go at the old puzzle book. It’s full of incomplete crosswords over the years. It still is after this effort.
I didn’t find a single solution, and I had no success with the evacuation struggle. Then I washed and got the computer booted up. They don’t use that term much nowadays, do they?
Morning Carer Richard arrived. Sorted out the medications for me. He looked well for an end-of-shift call, bless him.
I took these four photographicalisations from the kitchenette window… no, I didn’t, sorry. I went iknto the balcony, opened a window and took these four shots from my left to the right.
Porc failedThen, I made another trip to the Porcelain Throne, hopes high, as the last visit was not so painful.
But still failed to pass!

Back on the computer again.
I found the ‘lost’ photograph of the meals from yesterday. I recall not taking it until I was well over halfway of eating it.
I think I worked out why I couldn’t find them on Sunday.
Carer Chris told me how to download the photos from the camera that I’d take without an SD card in it. I reckon I’d been leaving the SD card in the camera slot and connecting the USB thingamajig, but with the SD in the camera, it couldn’t reach them. Obvious now, come to think of it. Hehehe!

to change my catheter contraption. He was in a hurry. I diagnosed that straight away. But she did not rush me. It was I think, it was who came. She was the nurse who was called last visit when the other one could not get the tube back in Little Inchie. This time, it was the reverse; Sarah couldn’t get it back in. She lost even more time, needing around 20 minutes to get it in, but she did it. 🧡  She put in extra pain gel twice cause she realised how much it was hurting me. I suspect my howling, arghing, wincing & the tears running down my cheeks may have been a clue. Haha!

Off Sharon flew, and I got seated on the computer chair.
After a few minutes on CorelDrawing, I felt a distinct sensation of liquid running down my left leg. I investigated.
Yes, the tube catheter’s top tube connection had fallen out, leaving some urine in my slipper and even more on the carpet!
Also, but not only that, the contraption was fitted in the wrong size. I am now in frustration mode. To make things worse, they had fitted a wide extra-long master tube, and I now have to do the impossible without agony being involved along the line, of reaching down to my ankle to get to the pouch’s on-off tap! Cragknangles!
The leg straps had opened, causing the pouch to sink even lower down my leg. The exit tube is now resting and leaking again on the top of my foot!
Misfortune means bad luck or the state of having bad luck. Break misfortune into its parts, and you get mis- meaning bad and fortune, meaning chance or luck. Sometimes, it can feel like misfortune follows you. Picture it as a gloomy psychic named “Miss Fortune” who can only see the bad things in your future. Mine are named EQ, & Alto Inchie.

Lamb meat (shredded) with extra-thick gravy, mint, and oven chips. Wholemeal Bread thins and a dessert pot.
Nice!

As I washed the pots, Dizzy Dennis hit me and continued to do so for the rest of the night.
Carer Precious did the last two calls, but there are no other details available in the grey cells. I felt out of sorts and unbelievably tired. I even felt off balance while sitting down. 

The nocturnal catheter pouch was most uncomfortable attached to the overly long, thick-tubed new day setup.
No matter how tired I was, sleep from here on was shirt-lived. I was shooting awake so often. I’m not feeling too good medically or mentally at the moment. raided, every time I woke. Then depression moved into the equation, only for me to wake up with his depressionalisationing blasting away at me as I stirred awake for the umpteenth time.

TTFN

Undeclutterable-Minded Inchy: Sunday 25th August 2024 Harangued Today!

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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Amazingly accurate!
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Slept for a full 3 uninterrupted hours. 03:00hrs to 06:00.
The nocturnal catheter had not been put on. Silly I had forgotten to attach it! The day bag contents looked dark again. Later, Carer Ayu classed it as being a six on the NHS scale. Getting out of the c1966, £300 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, was a lot easier than scrambling out of the hospital bed. But, more painful to fall back into when gave way as I stood up. The bed has a definite advantage to fall on; it’s so much higher!
Another long session was spent on the . The usual practices were carried out; a go at the crossword, but no answers were found this time. I counted 22 cracks in the ceiling.  started and kept up his long run of guilt accusing, and Ant-Inchy put-downs.
I gave up and had a wash, accompanied by escapades of smelly wind from the rear end! I put on a fresh gown, olive-oiled both of the earholes and took a Senna tablet in hopes of encouraging some movement from the rear end.
Next, I creamed and ointmentated various gargantuan-sized wobbly belly areas requiring the same treatments.
I hobbled off to the kitchen to decide whether to make a mug of Glengettie tea. Arriving at decisions has not been easy for me lately. The brain goes off at a tandem. I consider the NHS two mugs-a-day ruling… is it too early? Will I want a third cup later tonight? Could I care less? I made one. And let it go cold after I’d started on the blog!
I wiped the mug and prepared it for the next brewing of tea later on. Then, I took this photo from the kitchen window. It doesn’t show well, but I saw some items on the bottom of the upward-trodden path. I zoomed in close to identify what they were. I’m still not sure. Possibly, a bottle with red liquid in it. I have no idea what light-coloured things are. Should I have used the Macro when I zoomed in so far away or not? I didn’t. I’m confusing myself here! Snapped the sun coming up from behind in this shot (Right).
I was working on the ode of the day when Carer Ayu arrived. He put the diabetic socks on my legs. Well, it’s better than putting them on my arms. Hehehe! Ayu administered the medications, and we shared a mini natter. I worked using CorelDraw and WordPress for a while. My concentration was a little better this morning, but it didn’t last!
I had a misleading idea that the rear-end wanted me to visit the .
As you can see, it was a hopeless effort yet again. I wonder if there’s a chance of an explosion from within, with the ether being created in the building up of mass in the solid matter. Hahaha!
Darned uncomfortable feeling.
I did my best. When I started, I had one solution for the crossword, but I had a lot more when I gave up on the motion moving anytime now.
Will I implode instead?
I took even more of the anti medications. I’m unsure if it was safe to take any more, but I can’t read the minuscule printing of the inserted instructions leaflets.

I made another brew of my beloved Glengettie tea.
Nice and strong!
Pressed on with this blog. With staying up so late yesterday, I’d got some done ready.
I was on CorelDraw and was alternating with this WordPress blog, and got blowback pains from the catheter tube stuck in Little Inchie. Had a look and, to my utter amazement, found the pouch so full, hard and heavy; it had tugged at Little Inchie, causing some bleeding again.
When I emptied it into the measuring jug, it showed 840ml! In an hour. I wish the community nurses would allow me to try peeing manually again. I’d hate to think I could and had had the darned on all this time and didn’t need it. What am I thinking and saying? As if anything would go right for me! pillock 
Ah, genuine rumbling from my innards this time. I’m off to the Throne. And yet again, no evacuation!
Plenty of pain, though. 

Five minutes after getting back to blogging, I was on my way back to the wet room. This time… Action Stations Alert! After a lot of effort, struggles, and phenomenal pain, at last, the blood-covered, almost cube-shaped lumps of concrete passed! Ahhh!

When Carer Precious arrived, I just had one Paracetamol because I’d just taken a few sprays of the toothache painkiller and didn’t want to mix the different types.

I made a start on tomorrow’s ode.
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FOOD TIME!
MEAL OF THE WEEK TODAY
At the point of perfection!
Delicious Beef in black bean sauce. Onions, leeks, and peppers are yellow and green. Liquid smoke was added to the extra-strong gravy. Basil, sea salt, oregano, beetroot juice, black pepper and spirit vinegar!

Carer Richard arrived as I nodded off in the poorly-aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner, after cleaning the pots up.
He looked a lot better than last week. But of course, we shared ailments that we both know will only worsen. He said he’d call again in the morning. Hope he has a calmer night shift.

What an evening view I took from the kitchen window.
The wind was getting up again out there. The gold and brown showed up wonderfully well.
I did a bit of pareidoliaing with this shot. I found a bird’s head and a whale and got pleasure from looking at nature’s beauty.

I returned to the computer to catch up a little with this blog.
But it didn’t last for long. Crumple-Grips! Mini Seizures took over. My concentration was destroyed. I’m not complaining, though, cause had been kind to me most of the day. Of course, now I’ve said that… Wait for it!
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BONUS ODE
All the best to you and all in your abode,
I’ve just watched a ‘Heartbeat’ episode,
I may be selling my second-hand commode…
Then to the Porcelain Throne, I bestrode,
My teeth still ache; well, they’re getting owd,
Many broken, coming out, and yellowed!
New ailments weekly by the vanload,
Worries, fears, jealousies I can’t unload,
Always something to discommode,
I don’t see any of the twittering sparrows,
They used to fill the local hedgerows?
I hear voices, see faces in the shadows…
I can’t swim, but I paddle in the shallows,
Take photos of the sky through my windows.
Also, of the grass, trees and weeping willows…
This reminds me that I must get some new pillows!
I forget my telephone number & postcode,
Left taps running, the sink overflowed,
Can someone adopt me? Put me in ‘Happy-Mode’?
Doreen Dementia wants me to explode!
Stuck in this flat, alone, cocooned!
That’s enough, too-much, I have moaned.
Sorry about the aforementioned.
Pots to wash, I’ll get myself aproned!

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Farewell – Hope you can find some fun!
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