Inchie Today: Thursday May 21st 2026

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After returning to semi-consciousness, I lay there in a half-sleep mode for a good hour or more. My terrible memories from yesterday were playing, drumming away in my tormented mind. Had I known that the new, bafflingly confusing to an oldie like me, computer, MS Word, MS Snip, and the ever-playing-up Corel (Rotten) Draw were going to give me even more hassle and problems today, I may well not have bothered getting up again.
At one stage, I regretted doing so.
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At least the feet were far less swollen. It’s just the under-toe electric-like twangs that defeat everyone. Me included, naturally. Caring Carers Ejaz and Mizra, three different District Nurses, and even the window cleaner have each taken a look and can see nothing that may be causing the shocks. No marks, no reddening. Just yet another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Not to mention the Fata Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited sanity of mind. Also, Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Dark, Deep, Depressing Darius, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Ménière’s disease, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Legs Leslie, Premordid Cognitive Impairment Iris, Cataract Katie, Sandra’s damned seizures, Back-Pain-Brenda, Arthur Itis, Cartilages Chloe & Carole, Fractured Knee Frankie, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Unwin’s Unguis Incarnates Ingrowing Toenail, Reflux Roger, Replacement Aorta Valve Victor, Diabetes Doris, High Cholesterol Christine,  Hydrocephalus-Hilda, &  Toothache Tiffany. And my recently diagnosed TBI, Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD), which is causing Flowback-Agony with the Catheter-Contraption-Carol’s exit-tube being blocked.
The NHS sent me a note about this problem before it started happening: It read…
If your Catheter tube is blocked and not draining, it is a medical emergency. Immediately check that the tube is not kinked and the drainage bag is below your bladder. Do not attempt to flush the tube or remove it yourself unless specifically trained by your Doctor. There was a problem, the first time it happened, Carer Ejaz rang the District Nurses. Five days later, a nurse called.
The second time, I rang myself, and was not holding back on how painful it was. Two hours later, a nurse arrived. Got me on the bed (No, nothing like that. Hehe!), and decided to put a new contraption into Little Inchie with his bleeding, leaking urine through it as well, a fungal lesion. As she pulled out the tube and balloon, she showed me the black material blocking the tube. I asked whether it is likely to happen again. As you usually change the contraption about every four or five weeks, and did so a fortnight ago, why is it already blocked? Adding, can anything be done to prevent it, cause it was more painful than my heart operation was?
Not really, I have a few other older dears with the same problem. Well, that cheered me up a ton!
Still, yer don’t like to complain, do yer?
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I got carried away again there, sorry about that. It’s a combination of old age, senility, brain invaders, and depression, you know.
That’s my excuse.
Took these two snaps later in the morning. The clouds still held and showed me beauty. Why? Not sure?

My Angel Jenny told me what the flowers were called on the bushes out the front of the flats and near the tree copse. I miss walking through so much. Sad, innit?
I took this quick, zoomed-in shot of a lady with her baby and pet dog as they walked into the gap between the trees. I think I can still remember the smell in there. I miss it so much. Still, you don’t like to complain, do yer? Humph! Haha!

As I took these two photographs of the housing to the left of the kitchen window, I realised how few people were in the snaps. Also, the trees and bushes are coming back to full life, with growing greenery and a scent in the air. Then I passed wind and nobbled to the WC.
I emitted a lot of swishy, splattering multicoloured Trotsky Terence evacuation. I could not believe the range of colours it had in the basin.
Fair enough, I am colour-blind, I know, but I swear I could see reds, yellows, greens with streaks, similar to veins of a light blueish colour in the freshly released reminiscent of Irish stew, seeming to gurgle and wobble in the water.

Then the computer troubles started again. And did so all day. Some examples, unbelievable examples.
1: Throughout the day, until I’d had enough, Google lost connection four times, and I lost unsaved work every time.
The fancy Alien Font replaced a few of my typed words in the Gluten font. 2: Using the MS snip, and it froze as I selected the work to copy. Every programme used had this red outline box in front of the screen. 
3: MS Word fills the screen with gigantic buttons that leave little room to see the typing area.
4: On one Google opening, the Yahoo browser came on?
5: I got this message up again in a blank screen,
I’ve not the foggiest what it is all about, but then again, that in itself is not surprising to me, at least. This flipping whatever it is came up four more times?

Fed-up! But, I got fedderupperer later!
Just as I was taking the food from the slow cooker, to strain and serve it up… I managed with the greatest of ease, without any intent to have my right leg wobble, and dropped the hot Porcelain dish full of food, hitting my leg twice as it galloped on the way down, leaving this mess on the kitchenette floor.

They stung and left a little burning smell.
I had to leave the mess for the poor Carer to sort out, and rubbed some Germolene on the two tiny injuries. And waited for the last Carer call to arrive. I did get some plasters out in case they were considered to be of use by the Carer. An hour or so later, Carer Mizra arrived. He cleaned up my mess in the kitchen after giving me the medications. Helped me heat up the rearranged meal in the microwave and serve it.
Bless him. He had to rush off to his next call, which was difficult for the lad using buses.

I hobbled into the kitchen and washed the pots. Espying the lovely sky, which begged to be photographed.
So, I did.

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Inchie: A Messy Wednesday 20 May 2026

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Today consisted of various upsets, problems, bothers, frustrations, periods of depression, moments of pathetic, and self-annoying self-pity. A couple of moments, mainly when the damned new Windows 11 was confusing, or the new CorelDraw 26 play-ups and anti-Inchie activities took so long to work out how to proceed, and in some cases were skirted around, without the slightest hope of my remembering how I got through that particular problem. Of course, each and every one would return later.
I was regularly self-distracted, not coping, confused, panicky, incapable, unlucky; even bewildered at times.
There were a few times that I felt almost blas’e, as I decided there was no point in going on. Convinced things are getting worse, harder, more difficult each and every day.
All I did for the majority of the day was struggle with the computer and clear accidental wet-room problems.
I think I just moaned about my problems to each Carer, and felt guilty after each grumble about my miserable, ever-failing, mental and physical lifestyle. 
I just read the above. I felt bad for writing it. Sorry!
But I’m sure I’m getting rather pitiable. I wish the Doctor would recognise my problems.
Then again, if she were to, it would mean being referred to the suitable department in the NHS. Wait for an appointment, as with the neurologist who took six months. Then I was assured a lift had been arranged back, but told to cancel the appointment as they cannot do a lift there. So if I were to live long enough to get help, I’d have to sort help from the Carers to arrange a lift, get the money to hand to pay for it there and back, then get me dressed on the morning of the day.
No, sod-it, not worth the bother & hassle.
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I’d shout for help. Is there any point in going on about my deteriorating confidence, interest, and increasing depression, frustration and increasing ailments? I believe things started affecting me mentally after the fall revealed the TBI. Two of my Carers have kept me going, and a feeling of concern has been shown. But they are coming less often now. So many people are far worse off than I. Hence, the guilt returns. I’ve not been this low before. By this afternoon or tomorrow, things may perk up? 😂
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Just thought I’d mention them. Hehe!
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FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD
A FEAST OF FODDER IN STOCK NOW!
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WATER AS WELL
AND THE OVERUSED TOILET PAPER
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Inchie: Tuesday 19th May 2026 – A fall & A Flood

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The Ode explains my early-morning kerfuffle.
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We had not had time to properly clean the wet room. But my attention was on the flaming new computer mysteries with Corel Draw, the new complicated Note app, and my seemingly new to me (I’m fibbing, done it months now, even on the old keyboard) habit of hitting the wrong combinations of keys, and getting up so many baffling options to choose if I wish to continue using programs I’ve never heard of.
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Carer Rashid, then Dilan, then Mizra, then Carer Ejaz called today. Damned busy, so much that this is going to be another rushed, no-time-to-do-properly, blog.
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The second call was to Dilan. Who got the laundry started and called Jenny to let her know. Then I asked him and explained what I’d like done to finish the wet room cleaning.
He did a great job!
Hard to see the depth of or even the water…
You can see how it soaked the box of Dettol.
Later, Carer Dilan tackled it after taking the laundry down to the laundry and putting it in the washer. 
Cleaned up the stuff I’d dropped in the corner.
And behind the pipework.
Mats down, much betterer!
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Lovely view this afternoon.
I discovered a reason for my making so many errors of the computer, CorelDraw, MS Word, Excel and the blog.
I’d been looking at the ‘Cool’ battery clock calendar! This time, at a quarter to one PM, I had not updated the clock’s date for two days! Naturally, for me anyway, I swore at myself, added some locally used curses and insults, spat, and sulked for quite a while. Went to do what so many folks do, I made a brew of my favourite tea and got some biscuits out to dunk. They didn’t get dunked. I dropped the mug, and the handle came off. Undeterred, I made another brew of Glengettie with it. Feeling rather smug didn’t last long either; a hairline crack sent the freshly made tea spilling out, then the mug cracked and broke. Sending tea all over the counter, then down the cupboard doors below, decorating my Khagoule as it did so. 
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Two shots from the kitchenette window as I made a third mug of tea, Co-op 99 this time.
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The Carer took these two later.
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I partly made a meal, just some spuds to add to it. I haven’t got any fresh ones, so I opened the last tin.
Then I realised that only Asda, Iceland, Ocado, and Morrisons had rejected my sign-in to place an order. Because it was on the new computer. I half-heartedly tried J Sainsbury’s. And got in! Hopefully I’ll have bread, tomatoes, a few ready-made meals, bikkies, potatoes, veg and mushrooms in the morning.
Hopefully, (I did, but it was a terrible day).
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Inchie Today: Fri/Sat/Sunday 15>17th May 2026.

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FRIDAY
So many upsets and disappointments over the three days. But some sweet pleasantries, and even time to start catching up on this blog, on Sunday afternoon. My depression told me I did not need the memory note pad, as at the time I was so down, I threw them away.
I’m sorry I did that now.
Things will be missed and mixed up, no doubt.
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Morning bush flowers
Wonderful puffer clouds
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I had a terrible experience this morning. I can’t say anymore, yet. I don’t know why I told you. It will take time to sort out, then I can reveal all.
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I had to get up early and start getting things ready for the Audio visit. When Carer Mizra arrived, most things were done, but he had to call a taxi for us because he had arrived too late to take the bus. Glad we did, even though the roadworks took us all over the place, and the cost was close to all the money I had taken with me for two trips there and back. But the taxi driver let me in the front seat, and my legs were no bother, really. Until I got out-of-it. Hahaha! 
Things went fabulously well, to the Clinic, and even better inside. A nice young lady asked how I lost the hearing aids. I waffled on, getting all excited at someone showing such understanding and patience with my long, drawn-out patter. 
Told me I would not have to pay for replacements. Also, I will not have to return to the Clinic to collect them; they will mail them to me. 
She then did a hearing test on each ear and pointed out afterwards that it had been 16 years since I last had new hearing aids. The young lady then made inner ear moulds to get the size and fit right. Then, gave me some hearing aids to take with me, for free! 
Great! Thank You!
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We caught a bus home, not having enough dosh for a taxi. I had, but didn’t realise this until it was too late. One of the sillier points of Arithmaphobia!
I also forgot that I’d taken the camera with me until we had reached the bus stop on Market Street. (I think)
I took these two snaps.
We caught the bus and returned to the flat.
Mizra had to shoot off to his next job.
I dug into the biscuit barrels and made a brew of tea.
I was surprisingly very tired and fell asleep in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
Waking up to…
Take these snaps of the
Evening sky.
I was incapable of getting up. The earlier altercation was weighing on my mind, and I had to put up with
Then, kicked in, and all the while I worried over the dispute, lingered.
I made a meal of sorts.
Tasty enough, though.
I fell asleep where I was, Zzzz!
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A little out of sync here, sorry.
THE NEW COMPUTER ARRIVED
The computer man arrived with the new computer setup. Not the bandied about £350 mark, but it was now £850 quid. So tired, I was struggling to keep up with what he was doing and the advice he was giving.
He was patient with me. Nice chap. He spent hours getting it sorted out for me. Even put on the fonts I use. Hepta, Glutton & Aptos Square.
After Adam… Allan? Or Andy had gone, I was too tired to consider setting up the new version of CorelDraw that the lad had installed for me. But hope to get up early Saturday morning and make a start on it.
Thanked and paid him, and off he went, saying he was having a week’s holiday. I was weary beyond belief.
Blowed if I knew how to shut it down! 
Where there was one one-off button on the front of the old computer, I could feel four… but which one to press was my dilemma. I had to use Google to find out where the Windows 11 start button was.
By nearly midnight, I found out where it was.
I thought before I use it, I’d take a snip of it and save it.
But could I find the now-removed Snip icon from the bottom tray, along with everything else I had on, when it was transferred from W10 to the W11 computer? No!
Back to search Google. Without any luck, I was not concentrating well and was so tired.
So I got my head down around 0300hrs.
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SATURDAY
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Up at 05:10hrs. A Day in Which I Did Nothing: Other than try to learn and get the new computer, CorelDraw, MS Word, Excel, the Snip-app, change it to the right date and time, and how to turn it on to work. I’d seen Andy put the three fonts on. They were on XL, not on Word, CorelDraw, MS Word, or CorelDraw.
I changed tack and looked up how to open the Snip app. The primary keyboard shortcut to open the Snipping Tool overlay in Windows 11 is: Windows Logo Key + Shift + S.
Well, that was the only real success I had with the computer over the next nine hours!
The new external hard drive was flashing for nine hours. I sort of hoped it might be sorting out the new fonts and getting them onto the programmes I needed. Then I uploaded some of the fonts I wanted, and the machine told me they were already installed. But not available anywhere but in Excel. And that has lost my beloved Origano font, and there are now… wait for it… 869 fonts on my system! Note that later, as you can see, the Origano font reappeared on WordPress while I was doing this part, late on Sunday!
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The longest taking and most frustrating programme was CorelDraw. So many things had changed in the 26th version. It took me until Sunday night to work out how to move the… 
SHIT!
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SATURDAY
All the day tabs I’ve made on CorelDraw have turned into gobbledigook! And Windows 11 does not have a calendar with it! I thought of buying a monthly calendar from Amazon, but it won’t let me in on this device, and wants a Google 6-digit validation number. How? No email came in on email or mobile?

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I so regret getting this computer; I could not afford it. 
Andy is away on holiday for a week, so I can’t get any help with the computer problems.

Sorry, I haven’t been calling, I spent ages trying to sort the computer out on my own. Fed-up!

I am so depressed!
See how the lettering has gone overnight.
I’ve about had enough.

AM shot
Motheaten curtains

Beatiful puffer clouds
Carers desk

So much has gone wrong…
I’m just coping, but for how long?
Will I ever get back on song?
I feel I don’t belong…
Life is an emotional dingdong,
Still, Prosper & live-long!
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Got a message from My Angel. The calendar is still there; I just didn’t click the arrow, thinking it would open as it used to with one click. 
I’m getting worse… Hehehe!
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Gorgeous Taste!
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The week, meaning the good Carers will have scarce visits. I am back with a Carer who ignored two of my shouts for help on my last two tumbles. Grunts rather than talks, and gets sharp with me when I can’t understand what he is saying. 
I will see how it goes, but if there are any more let-downs, I shall ask the Carer Company boss to see if he can be replaced as one of my Carers. Explain my fears to her. I hate the thought of doing this, but I’ll see if Care skills and understanding improve.
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Not up to much.
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Inchie: Wed/Thru 13/14th May 2026-Horrendous Day!

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Things went All-Apeshit on Thursday Morning.
Not that they were much better on Wednesday, just horribly, even worse on Thursday.
With the fear of sorting things out for Friday, the visit to the Audio Clinic, and worries about whether a Carer had been arranged to go with me as required, and with transport not yet confirmed, I am in a bit of mental turmoil. Having no calls for days from the Carers who Care, Mizra & Ejaz, I am getting no information about these things. I only found out late today that the 1-hour extra call that didn’t happen Monday had been moved to Friday, for the escort to the Clinic, thanks to Mizra. 
I only started this blog late Thursday morning.
After sorting out the Double-Whammy of Whoopsiedangleplops, I suffered. I’ll explain these now to avoid having to repeat them later and to save time.
Also, the two blogs will not be formatted as usual and will undoubtedly be error-ridden due to my rush to complete them. To add to the problems, on Wednesday afternoon, Trotsky Terence got hyperactive. Anne Gyna seems to have settled back into one of her painful, nasty periods.
Thursday’s Nightmare, while it’s fresh in my mind.
This sort of thing is happening far too often.
Anne Gyna guaranteed a terrible, ever-waking night’s rest. My tierdness could do with a more precise name. 
I felt lethargic, bone-weary, drained, knackered, fatigued, and weak, each and every time that the stabbing Anne Gyna woke me up. Taking longer to get back to sleep each time, thanks to incoming houndings from ,bringing up the past and a selection of my mistakes I’ve made. At about 04:30hrs, I woke without any Anne Gyna pains and felt the urgent need of the .
I’d not made it into the bed, and had fallen asleep in the fifth-hand Charity shop bought £300, broken down, Catheter tube crunching, dried blood-covered, grotty, dirty, and creaking recliner. The necessity of speed was hampered by Kagoule, a long dressing gown, and I wrapped myself up in a large throw. Had to free myself from those, then grab the extra long night Catheter bag tube, and without time or thought of doing any balance exercises, no time to, I fumbled my way with the walking stick and Catheter pouch to the wet room…
I think you can guess what was coming. 
The evacuation started well before I reached the Porcelain Throne. I tore off the Dressing gown and pulled up the long Kaghoule, sat and threw the night bag full of urine away on the floor, to concentrate on Trotsky Terence Torrent that flowed. 
As I sat there while the innards spurted out tiny soft blotches of wet excrement into the bowl…
This is when I noticed several tiny soft blotches of wet excrement on the floor. My first concern was when they had escaped and had fouled the Kaghoule and my legs. The answer to both thoughts was yes! Not that it was funny at the time, but I think I said out loud, “Oh, Shit!” The thought of cleaning up, with all the associated pain of bending down, went through my mind… But then things got even messier and worse!
As I stood up to check my clothing and body, I espied that the night pouch was leaking its urine, and slowly filling the wet room floor.
There I was, with the floor covered in two rolls of kitchen paper to help drain the fluid, and as it did, about 8 of the tiny brown boblets that had escaped earlier showed through. I tore the long, partly soiled khagoule off and fetched the needed toilet rolls and kitchen towels from the hallway.  
I was too angry at myself to cry.
After getting the used towels up with the long picker-upper and spraying the floor with disinfectant, I applied another load of towels, then turned my attention to cleaning up my body.
The towels were left, the WC needed cleaning, and I somehow decided to get a stand-up wash and shave. 
Got the teeth cleaned, then had a good body scrub and shave. All in a hurry, as I wanted to get the medications that the Carer would normally do. (Well, Ezaz & Mizra would automatically), done and to sort out the floor.
The shave proved to be one of my worst-ever; I hurried so quickly. Later, I realised I may as well not have bothered. Growth on the chin and neck seemed untouched by my panicky effort to cut them.
I had to have a shave later to make things right. I did this because the Clinic appointment is at 10:00 hours in the morning, and the lift has not yet been confirmed; a taxi may need to be ordered. Time will be at a premium. My head was getting confused, and I got on with the body, man breasts, underarms barrier creaming, testicle ointmenting, then I got Germoloided.
Leaving the “Painful One”, cowardly until last. 

Tackled the rest of the floor and WC cleaning. A painful job, and Anne Gyna was not happy at all.
As I was tidying up, the intercom chimed. It was the Carer, Rashid, coming. I put the kettle on as he arrived. 
A bad listener by nature, Rashid is. But I had to tell someone of my morning disasters.
He issued the medications, and I started blurting out my Yale of Woe. As I chuntered of, I noticed he was head down on his mobile again. I asked him if I was boring him. I restarted from the beginning of the tale, after asking him to listen, and he will learn some of my problems… not that you would be interested, of course. No reply. When I got to the medicationing I’d done, I told him he only had the stomach folds to barrier cream this morning. Carrying on, I glanced at him, back on his mobile, so I gave up.
He asked if I needed any Peptac. I said no thanks, and he gave me a dose of Peptac.
Then he came over with the barrier cream. I’d just told him what I’d done already, reminding him that only the tummy folds needed doing, and he put the barrier cream away. No body-checks done. No Phorpaining anywhere. No breakfast offered. No tea making offered… mind you, I was pleased about that. The last time He made one, I had to clean up spilt tea on the counter, down the cupboard below and on the floor. And the tea he made was horrible. Hahaha!
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Delivered today, my long-awaited long brush and dustpan wet. To replace the broken one from Amazon. Crap again, my fault, I expected and thought I was buying a long handled dustpan, but as you can see in these snaps I took, it has to be held with your foot. Meaning having to bend down to empty it. Bending is the reason I ordered it in the first place. I just can’t win, can I?
Ocado: Gorgeous, tasty food.
Isle of Man tomatoes
Treats for Jen & Frank, Nurses & Carers
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Rainy morning
Brightened up a bit
Darkened, but no rain
Started feeling unwell, and
made an early meal
Last photo, rain back

I settled into the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner to watch an episode of my favourite, ‘Heartbeat’, on the TV and eat the meal.
And fell asleep, but not for long, the return of Anne Gyna season started. Humph!
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THURSDAY 14th MAY 2066
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MISTAKES FOUND ON THE URINE COUNT, I’ll correct them later
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Hard work catching up. The waking-up farce from today I’ve already written, but not forgotten.

Let’s see, Number One: Premature involuntary escape from the rear end – dealt with and reported earlier.
Number two: Trotsky Terence Torrent messed me up even further, and the floor.
Number Three: The night pouch spit and covered the wetroom floor, already with bloblets of evacuated product on it from escapage
Number Four: Later, I emptied the day bag with the butterfly control valve. I’m not sure whether I didn’t close it or caught it later, causing it to release urine. I noticed this two hours later.
Now I urinated on both legs and feet, and my socks.
Number Five: Getting my docks of triggered Back-Pain Brenda and Fractured Knee Frank into action.
Number Five: Then I had to hand-wash the kaghoule and socks. Or I’d have no clean ones left to use. While emptying the bowl of soapy water, I spilt most of it onto the kitchenette floor.
Number Six: I could not find the camera to take photos for the record. I used the old one, which may or may not work for me.
Number Six: 
Got a text from the bank; £1040 had gone out of the debits. I need help on this one.
I told the Carer of my problems. No comment made.
Carer Ejaz did one call, which was annoying, cause when I told the other chap about the cash, he didn’t comment or even look at the text. Taking away Ejaz and Mizra to be replaced with a non-caring Carer brings the idea of going into a home a little more acceptable. Then I would not have to wait 6 or more days to get help with banking (8 days since any). I am not prepared to let a Carer who helps himself to food from the freezer check my banking. Shopping (11 days since any), and arranging lifts to clinics, Doctors, Dentists, chemists, and opticians, which would either be unnecessary or so much easier. As with the problems today… Mind you, if they knew about these problems I’m having, I would not be popular or possibly accepted as a patient.

A FEW PHOTOS.  
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Kaghouls and socks to wash, de-urinate!
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Sorry, but I must stop now,
Lots to prepare for and do.
I’m not really up to going out tomorrow, but my need of hearing aids, whatever they cost me, is crucial.
I may have to wait a couple of weeks for them as well.
Today has left me so depressed.
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I’ve not felt as bad for a long time,
Mentally & physically out of tune,
So many things going apeshit…
I don’t like confusion, not one bit,
Lifts have not been arranged for the Clinic yet
Things to take: Do I need a bus ticket?
Which Carer is due? Ah, I think Mizra,
If owt else goes wrong, I’ll be all aquiver,
Something’ll happen; My mental barometer,
At rear-end escapages? I shudder,
Or leakages from the Catheter?
Some say bad luck is bilgewater…
I prayed life may improve, at least easier,
It got worse, not better…
I blame Starmer!
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Inchie: Tuesday 12th May 2026 Carer Missed Call

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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I rose singing out loud at 0325hrs. Took off the nocturnal Catheter pouch, got up and ran with it to the wet room, emptied it and returned for my morning exercises. Stripped off the nightwear and naked, I went onto the balcony, where I keep my weights. Grabbed a 240lb barbell and did a hundred waist-lifts. Got on the sit-up machine for 600 tugs, touched my toes 200 times, dived down for 400 press-ups. Then 250 squats, 300 planks & lunges. Opened the windows and yodelled out my greetings to the world, followed by a Tarzan Talk with the crows. A robust “Aah-eeh-ah-eeh-aaaaaah!” Jogging in place, jumping jacks, high knees, splits, then launched into ten minutes of shadow-boxing, with some neat left undercuts thrown in. Knee raises, one-leg stands, and leg extensions.
15-Min Beginner Cardio Circuits, including chair squats and 15 downward squats. Abdominal crunches, bent-over-rows, then nipped out and down in the lift and ran back up the fire-escape stairs, eleven double floors.
Back in the flat, drank a gallon of carrot juice and made a banana-and-garlic puree.  
Well, alright, I only did 300 press-ups.
I’ll start again…
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I jumped awake at 0325hrs, this was thanks to who had been having a go at me about so many things I’d done, failed to do, lost, done wrong, forgotten about, or misunderstood. I usually cope alright with these attacks, but today was critically different. He was digging up memories not from years ago, as he usually does, but having a go at me about fresh stuff! The Git! 
But as it kicked in, of took away my concentration; heavenly, I nodded off back to the land of nod. Annie was having none of that, and she kept giving me a good twinge of pain to wake me regularly.
At around 0500hrs, I moved to a different position and banged the ingrowing toenail on the bedpost.
Swore and cursed and joined me. I don’t think I did anything for a long time, just lay there, sadly feeling sorry for myself.
Slowly, I came to appreciate that the Catheter Flow back was pain-free, and I almost cheered up. 
Freed the night bag, and as I did so, an involuntary escapage of wind from the rear end infused the flat, and probably others as well. It was putrid!
My timing in getting sat on the porcelain this morning was perfect.
Just before I got seated, the evacuation started of its own accord, and kept coming for a good while.
I think I coughed as the aroma filled the wet room. And it did, too. However, I’m a little confused about what happened, for I had a seated seizure mid-flow. When I came out-of-it, the usual acidicness upflowed into the throat and mouth, yet the disorientation seemed so mild compared to normal.
As I rose and started to wipe and wash the rear end, I realised I could no longer smell the pong that had permeated everywhere; it seemed to me to have been there a couple of minutes earlier. 
Cleaning up, I knocked the battery clock off of the shelf. It showed 0635hrs? Impossible, I must have caught something when I used the picker-upperer to retrieve the AAA battery clock. Finished cleaning, grabbed 4-legged Wally, the walking stick, and casually made my way to the kitchen to get the kettle and make a brew of Glengettie tea. Spotting the clock on the window ledge, telling me it was 0650hrs. Where did nearly 2 hours in the wetroom disappear to? I had to check I was not going bonkers… well, no more than is usual, and got the mobile phone to check the right time. It was indeed 0655hrs. I think I’d had a second seizure, because there was no acidic taste in my chest, mouth or throat. I returned to the kitchenette and found I had not switched the kettle on. No big issue in itself. But I felt certain, positive that I had done so. Is it going to be another one of those days? My EQ has not mentioned what to expect or given me any warnings.

I made the brew, let it mash for a while, and went to the fridge to get the milk. Flippin’ eck! The fridge had a load of water slopping about at the bottom! Had to take out or move about the stuff and used a whole new roll of kitchen roll to dry it up. I checked the cans and bottles for leaks, but found none. Then found I had a few items out of date. Cheese and yoghourts. Of course, with my eyesight problems, I may well have missed some. Like last week, when I checked a jar of pickled mushrooms, thinking I must eat this soon. I thought it said Use by May 28… well, it did. But when Mizra checked it on Saturday, May 28, it was confirmed, but the year? Well, that was verified as 2025!
The mysteries of Woodthorpe Courts hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, ectoplasms, Whoopsiedangleplops, ailments, extraterrestrials,  spirits, Accifauxpas, and the Fata Morganas strike again!
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I got the computer going on the second try and started updating the blog… then the Carer arrived. Hard Work. He cleaned the testicle area, but not as the nurse told him to. Disconcerting.

By the time midday arrived, I’d been to the toilet for a rear-end job four times. Each one was of the same or a similar type. Phooey, yellow and soft, but not liquid. 

The extra-Carer call for 1330 > 1430hrs (cleaning) did not happen. No one has contacted me. Which is disappointing to say the least. When I did mention this to Carer Rachid, he offered no advice, help, or even a response, as far as I can tell. No apology (not that it is his fault), no support. No help with letters or emails.
Maybe they want to lose me from their books? They have taken E and M off of my daily rota, which is heartbreaking. The two best, I lose. Two hard-to-work-with replacements. There may be something in the air with this action. That I will not like, just a message from EQ. Could be an ulterior motive, surreptitiousness, clandestine, perhaps.
Or it would just be my usual bad luck.

bleeding & sore. We’ve run out of Anusol Cream yet again. Carer informed, no reply, or signs of interest given. Asked him to order some. No response received.

The INR blood girl called in and out in six minutes.
Oh, yes, she’s quick on her feet. Hehehe!

THE FEW PHOTOS:

The filthy gap between the now non-working cooker and the corner counter. I tried to clean it a bit.
Did my best. When no Cleaner-Carer arrived today.
Beautiful sky
But it wasn’t very warm
The Tree Copse
Closer,
A bit of blood from the piles late on Ran out of Haemorrhoid cream. No idea whether any Anusol has been ordered. Carer E used to handle all prescription ordering, but he no longer comes in during the week. A heartbreaking loss, and no idea, because no communication is coming from the new guys. I don’t even get any information or contacted when a Carer fails to turn up. I know these things happen, sometimes out of the company’s control.

Wobbly night shot
Sad meal.
Worra Day!

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HORRIBLE DAY
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Not feeling up to much, Sorry.
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Inchy: Sun/Mon 10-11th May 2026

/ Inchie / 10 Comments

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BP AND TEMP UP
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A mixed Sunday. Starting with my inability to move when I woke up. No medical or mental problems as such. I just felt so tired out and drained. I think I’ve worked out what the problem was, but I can’t be certain. But then, whenever could I be? Not for years.
I was dreaming that I was in the porta-cabin where we used to hold the weekly social get-together for the residents. I really did think I was there, and could see and talk to the folks enjoying the meeting that Jenny used to organise. I reckon this caused my reluctance to get up… I must have been trying to nod off again to get back to the enjoyment and fun I was having again. See Gaynor, Cynth, Jenny, Joe, and the others again.
I know it sounds strange, but I was asleep and was knowingly trying to reach for the dream to reappear. 
I part-slept for longer than I have since having my 1996 Covid jab, when I slept for 22 hours.
I was eventually forced to get up by a disgusted-looking Carer Dilan. Not amused at all.

, after the Carer departed – I farted, and near as it is possible for me, I darted, well, hobbled swiftly to the wet room and Porcelain Throne… I’m sure my regular readers will know what happened next… but I’ll tell you, I didn’t make it in time! Then into clearing and cleaning-up mode. 

Next: After a long battle with the computer, and not knowing what I was doing, I
rather miraculously got it to boot into action.
Then spent hours and hours doing the one-off blog of Mr Starmer’s reaction to the disastrous local election result for Labour. I enjoyed doing that, but did not get it done until very late. And I was so tired again. Possibly, I thought I might get back to the Wednesday Social in the porta-cabin, if I got my head down?
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Snaps of the day
Bootifull!
Amazing skies
Accidental photo, Hehe!

Attempted wide shots, erm, failed.
Plates of meat status
A better effort
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Sorry, no Ode today. Just
A TALE OF WOE… Maybe later?
After removing the night bag, with only 500ml in it, and taking some photos, sorting the wast bins, having a wash, shave and shit,  doing my teggies, and getting the dressing gown on… the 
Catheter Flowback started again. And this time it was worse than the last two occasions.
Carer Rachid arrived and saw the pain and heard the bad language each time the stabbing, stinging pains hit me. I’ll call the nurses later to see if they can attend, too early in the day yet.

Rashid called again. I was in a lot of pain from the return of the Catheter flowback pains. He said he’ll phone for an ambulance. I explained that I’d called the District Nurses, who will be calling on me, so no need. Adding, if I go by ambulance, I’ll have another nine-hour wait in a corridor to be seen, and I didn’t fancy that again. He picked up the phone to dial 999. I said, “Do not use the landline; if you use your phone, any problems, they will phone you back, and then you’ll keep in touch with what is happening. He carried on using the landline. I made sure what to do when I took the phone, in case of it was not needed. The lady asked me to ring 999 to cancel. Which Rasid later did… on the landline. When he made his next call, the Nurse arrived. She got me on the bed, and he came leaning over me to see things. I asked for a bit of privacy. The procedure took a long time, and the Nurse handled it well. She got the tube out and showed me the black on the inner end of it, with a lot of gunk in it, like last time. Saying this can happen when we get older. So it might not be an infection. She asked Rachid to do a proper job of cleaning the testicle area. She is ordering some foam spray to clean the skin before applying the Barrier Cream. “You’ve made a right mess here.” That didn’t go down well! Inserting the new tube was almost painless; she first used a lot of the pain gel.
The Nurse took a urine sample to test for infection—the new pouch filled in seconds. The Urine was almost red. The only thing was, after she had gone. I found that the new pouch had a butterfly release valve. I’d stopped using them when I kept catching the clip and opening it. Peeing on my legs, slippers and on the carpet. Fingers crossed. Haha!

Photographs of the day
This one was taken when I woke during the night.
Why did I take these?
Anyone’s guess, Tsk!
Ah, the not-working Catheter.
The Catheter started working again seconds after, thanks to the nurses’ skills.
The Sun kept disappearing.
All-Starmer on the News.
The first flow after the initial torrent.
A bit bloody, as was anticipated.
A high shot here.
Seems the Sun was losing
the battle again. Lower down,
it was getting through.
But, another mystery here; 
Why did the shot of it
not get on to the SD card?
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Despite being overjoyed at getting the Catheter agony removed, I am now feeling very queasy, and not at all like wanting to eat anything. Another Mystery of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind: which is now losing its few marbles it has left.
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The last late snaps…
Late sundown.
Late sundown, closer
Help was needed from the Carer to
get this one ready.
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All the regular pains returned later on.
The Ingrowing-Toenail-Titus, Back-Pain-Brenda, Lymphorea-Leslie, Colin-Cramps, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley, Kidney-Pains-Kitty, Fractured-Knee-Frank, Duodenal Donald, and even Anne Gyna threw in her pennorth of pain. But, with the memory of today’s chronic Catheter Flowback Pains, I almost welcomed the return of my regular ailment, which had been overshadowed by the more vicious, cruel Bladder-Blockage-Beryl agony that no medication could counter. Thank heavens the Nurse came. 🤎
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Inchie: Sunday 10th May 2026 – Election Reviews

/ Inchie / 1 Comment

In Memory of Kiers Barrister days
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Starmer’s “Giftgate” Scandals:
Clothing & Personal Support (Waheed Alli): £16,200 for “work clothing” and £2,485 for multiple pairs of glasses.
Accommodation (Waheed Alli): Over £20,000 for use of a London flat during the election campaign.
Football Hospitality:
Over £12,000 from the Premier League and tickets from clubs including Arsenal, Manchester City, and Tottenham.
Concert Tickets:
Four tickets with hospitality to see Taylor Swift at Wembley, valued at £4,000, gifted by the Premier League. But why?
Holidays:
A four-day family holiday to a Welsh beauty spot, valued at £4,500, Crownhawk Properties.
Racecourse & More:
Four box tickets for Epsom Downs racecourse valued at £3,716. Following the controversy, Starmer paid back costs for: Four Taylor Swift tickets (Universal Music Group, £2,800). Two tickets for the Euros Final (FA, £598).Four tickets to Doncaster Races (Arena Racing Corporation, £1,939).
Clothing rental and styling for his wife:
(Edeline Lee, £839). Note: This list is based on declared register of interests and reporting from September/October 2024.
Keir Starmer’s freebies:
Everything you need to know – Sky News Sept 2024 — Football tickets The Premier League is one of the biggest donors of hospitality, and Sir Keir – a renowned Arsenal fan – has received from sky.com. Plus one donation valued at £8,750 per game.
Keir Starmer declares more freebies than any other MP, 18 Sept 2024 — Catherine Neilan. Political Editor. Joe White. Senior Data Scientist. Keir Starmer has declared more than £120,000 worth of freebies: Starmer’s £120,000 in tickets and gifts.
Winter Fuel Payment Cuts:
The government’s decision to restrict the Winter Fuel Allowance for millions of pensioners caused significant backlash.
Policy U-Turns and Broken Pledges:
Critics often highlight his abandonment of earlier leadership pledges, such as the £28bn green investment plan, his reversal on tuition fees, and his support for nationalisation, which has led to multiple claims of dishonesty.
Economic Strategy:
The retention of the two-child benefit cap and accusations of promoting an “austerity” agenda rather than investment were criticised.
Handling of the Gaza Conflict:
His stance on Israel’s rights in the Gaza conflict was criticised as supporting “collective punishment,” sparking party dissent.
Ongoing Controversy:
The issue has been described by critics as a “two-tier” standard, following his past criticism of his predecessors’ expenses and perks.
No Respect:
Under his leadership, Jeremy Corbyn was expelled from the party. Labour made significant gains in the 2023 and 2024 local elections and won a landslide victory in the 2024 general election. After Starmer became Prime Minister, Sunak succeeded him as Leader of the Opposition.
Why is Starmer a millionaire?
Sir Keir Starmer’s wealth stems from a high-earning legal career as a leading human rights barrister and Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP), combined with property investments, capital gains, and parliamentary salaries. While some reports suggest a high net worth through property, he has disclosed that his income is primarily from salary and investments.
Starmer paying back £6,000 of bungs:
Now that he’s been caught out. This man is our Prime Minister? “Certainly not a man of integrity!”
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What took him so long to come out with a new lie?
Nothing new here then?
Not when you consider his past cock-ups from
The Rt Hon Sir Keir Starmer KCB KC MP TIT.
During his speech at the Labour Party conference on September 24, 2024, Prime Minister Keir Starmer mistakenly said he was calling for the “return of the sausages” instead of the “return of the hostages” while discussing the conflict in Gaza. The gaffe occurred during a speech about a ceasefire and the release of Israeli hostages held by Hamas.
Labour ministers, MPs and officials have expressed bafflement at the appearance of two veteran Labour figures. While both are respected by Labour MPs, their appointments have caused confusion about how figures from Labour’s past signify the change the prime minister has promised.
One normally loyal minister told the BBC: “It’s a joke. No question bringing these two old Labourites back is the answer.” A Labour MP said: “Not sure voters in Wigan, Wandsworth, Salford or Sunderland voted for Reform because they thought we needed more advisers from a different era of Labour politics. I think this shows that Keir doesn’t even understand the problem, never mind the solution.” And a former Labour adviser said: “Is his plan to combat the notion that he has no ideas, to just double down on that and bring in a load of other people to come up with ideas?”
Discontent over the election results is also spilling into the open, with up to 30 Labour MPs publicly calling for Sir Keir to resign or to set out the process for an orderly transition to new leadership.
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STARMERish JOKES & ONE-LINERS
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Starmer reads terms and conditions for fun.
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Keir doesn’t wing it. He drafts it.
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Starmer proofreads text messages.
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Any Concerns, and he U-Turns…
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Sir Keir-ious mode activated.
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He edits memes for clarity.
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Calm, clueless & calculating.
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Barrister-like ace liar by omission.
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He’s unawfully, awfully legendary.
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He irons his manifesto & forgets it.
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Calm, commanding, & surreptitious.
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Keir Starmer answers questions so carefully that even Google asks him for clarification.
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He never loses control. But occasionally, the point.
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He debates like he’s billing by the hour.
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His opinions come with footnotes.
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Starmer’s humour? Under investigation.
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His questions come with subpoenas of sarcasm.
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His hairstyle is more stable than the economy.
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Keir Starmer tried his best to write a joke about the law, but it was too binding.
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As of May 2026:
Keir Starmer has faced intense scrutiny and widespread criticism, leading to historically low approval ratings for a UK Prime Minister. Criticisms stem from the political spectrum, including his own party and the public.
Unprecedented Unpopularity:
Starmer’s approval ratings have fallen sharply, with reports in late 2025 showing a net rating of -46%, and comparisons suggesting he is the least popular Prime Minister in modern British history.
U-Turns and Lack of Principle:
A major criticism is his abandonment of pledges made during his leadership campaign, which has led to accusations that of lacks core principles and is untrustworthy.
Economic Policies and Austerity:
Critics argue his government has continued on a path of “economic constraint” and “fiscal responsibility,” including unpopular decisions such as failing to remove the two-child benefit cap and cutting winter fuel payments for pensioners. And tax hikes on all family farmers.
“Starmageddon” and Election Performance:
Following the 2024 election win, his leadership faced a massive backlash during local elections, with critics predicting “disastrous” results and high losses of seats, with some calling for a “reckoning”
Authoritarian Leadership Style:
His leadership has been described as “dictatorial,” with critics highlighting his and his team’s tight control over the party, including the suspension of MPs who voted against him.
“Empty” Vision and Poor Communication:
Critics, including supporters of the left-leaning faction of his party, argue that he has no clear vision for the country, is a “poor communicator,” and lacks charisma.
Donation and Transparency Concerns:
His and his party’s acceptance of significant donations from wealthy donors, such as Lord Waheed Alli, has led to accusations of hypocrisy regarding “sleaze” and corruption, particularly in light of early scandals.
Weak Position and Potential Leadership Challenges: Despite his large parliamentary majority, his position is seen as vulnerable, with speculation about potential challenges to his leadership from within his own party.
Foreign Policy and Diplomatic Stance:
His and his government’s stance on international issues, such as the conflict in Gaza and, in particular, his and his team’s comments about Donald Trump, have been criticised for weakening the UK’s international standing and causing diplomatic issues. Criticisms were highlighted in a variety of sources, including opinion pieces in The Guardian, discussions on Reddit, and The New Statesman.
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Key Aspects of Starmer’s Premiership
Approval Ratings:
By January 2026, Starmer reached a net satisfaction rating of -57, matching previous lows seen in 2024, with only 18% holding a favourable view.
Public Opinion:
He has been described by some critics as “unpopular” and, by focus groups, as a “jellyfish” or “doormat”.
Political Challenges:
 His leadership faces pressure from within the Labour Party following poor election performances.
Policy Focus:
Early actions included ending the ban on onshore wind, setting up a National Wealth Fund, and outlining workers’ rights reforms.
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Inchie Today: Friday 8th April 2026

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Sorry, but today things got too much for me.

Topped up the food in the cupboard
In the fridge
Treats included this time
Favourite naughty nibbles

Things got on top of me. I lost or couldn’t find something at least 16 times, as I can recall.
Was with me in varying degrees all day.
Then, mid-morning, the stomach started rumbling; I started coughing and sneezing, and Trotsky Terence activated so often that I considered calling the nurses. The anticoagulatio… no that’s not right. Antidiarrheal capsules were consumed voraciously. Almost like Polo mints, or Rolos, once you open the packet. Haha!
In the morning, now… it starts all over again.

The nurse came to check the leg. I’d taken the strappings off, in hope of getting into my slippers, with the reluctant help of Carer Atilla. Cause I seem to be feeling the cold so much. But the leg was okay, much better. She signed me off, saying, “Call us if… no when it comes back.” I love a good sense of humour.

Actually got a call today from Carer Ejaz. How precious that was. Body checks, Porpain Gelling, Catheter contraption checked for comfort. Help with food preparation. All without having to remember to ask for them. And someone who listens to what I need or ask, not tells me what I want. Thank heavens he is off for two days now. Heavenly!

As the eyes faded in the afternoon, the Trots eased off a little but still kept coming, though nowhere near as often as earlier on. Trotsky Terence is back this morning, sprier than ever. But I’ve not been caught out… Smug-Mode-Adopted.

High white sky,
dark below.

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Ooops, the nosh…

Inchie Today: Thursday 7th May 2026

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

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Woke at 0635hrs. Took off the night Catheter bag, noting my aches and pains were minimal.
Then the summoning from the innards to get to the wet room and Porcelain Throne with all the alacrity I could muster arrived. So I did!
The first sitting proved to be a total failure; apart from escaping wind with each effort to start the evacuation, nothing else moved. Being as I was in the wetroom, I had a stand-up wash, did the teggies and had a shave. Just the one knick. And was much less painful.

I was certain that Constipation Conrad had me in his grip. I had the same thing three times over the next half-hour. I was telling the Carer about it and decided to take a Senna tablet to help move things along. Another ache in the stomach developed; I was sure it was Constipation Conrad, solidifying my waste in my rectal ampulla. I made my tea & breakfast. Feeling smug at taking the Senna, I bade the Carer farewell.
Minutes later, I felt the same rear-end and stomach feelings that I had before. Knowing full well that Senna tablets could not be affecting things so soon, I ambled to the wet room. Very luckily, I took off my dressing gown first.
But fear not, no floor, wall or furniture splashed!
It was me and the porcelain that coped with the liquid splash-backs. I made a mess on the floor, but that was only from bits of the one-and-a-half toilet rolls I used to clean myself up. I asked the Carer to Hoover the bits from the mats up for me. Found much later on my next trip to the Throne, they were still there. Maybe he didn’t understand my request or thought it wasn’t his job. Not earth-shattering. I managed to do it safely.

The computer had to be restarted twice more today. Restarting it took three tries each time.
Fed-upperness dawned.

I think the flowering shrubs around the flats are so beautiful. The Nurse who came later thought they might be called Spirea? I certainly have no idea. Being born into brickwork, a massive London Line railway viaduct, not a garden in sight. Outside loos and coalhouses. A tin bath hanging on the soot-covered brick viaduct wall didn’t help my education or understanding of plants. But I love these.

Two medics, one a nurse, came in the afternoon to give me my Covid shot. Nice couple.

The clouds looked even prettier to me today.
Now, we did have clouds in my young days in the bricks, railway viaducts and high-rise station. The cobblestoned streets were for the horses’ safety on the ice.
But our views of the sky from Brookfield Place, a terrace of six British Railway 2-up-two down houses, were limited. The height of the viaduct, much higher than the houses, limited the view.
I keep getting flashbacks. I can’t say I was happy back then… but I just accepted that that was how things were. Like scrounging food or 2/- from a neighbour for Mam. Having no TV. I was amazed when I saw that the next-door neighbours had not only a TV but also a gramophone, a telephone, a refrigerator, and a hot-water geyser.
Although I’m certainly not happy with life today.

Catching this snap brought to mind One Man & His Dog, although I had to look up where I’d heard of it before. Oh, yes… It was a BBC programme series about a Shepherd and his dog and Sheepdog trial. 1977, I think. 
There goes another flashback!

A fellow blogger told me that Pluto TV were showing the original Mission Impossible series on TV. I looked at the channels available on Virgin, getting all excited about watching them again. But Pluto was not on the list. I almost cried! Hahaha!

I managed a couple of teatime shots of the sky, clouds, and sun. I’ve never known the sun to be hidden so quickly by the clouds. The darkness lightened a little later?
Flashback due…
Reverend Salmon, 1956ish. Telling our Boys’ Brigade Company that when the Lord returns, the world will go dark, yet the sun will shine. Now, did I dream this? Where did it come from? How the Hell could I remember it if it did happen? How come I’ve never thought about it before?
And another thing: I forgot to publish the blog today. I emailed a request for the Doctor and sent it to the District Nurses! I lost my reading glasses, can opener, TV remote and forgot about the Doctor’s appointment. That is, of course, up to now, plenty of time for me to make more .

Then I found I’d made another cock-up. I came across the meal snap from last night and feel I didn’t put it on the blog for yesterday… or did I? I’ll check later.

Waiting for the same last Carer to arrive. Hard work. 
Makes me nervous, actually. And the company have made this Carer my regular one.
My bad, someone else’s good.

The meal, prepared before his arrival, was potato and vegetable soup with extra spuds, seasoned with a drop of teriyaki sauce. Two bread rolls for dipping.

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