Saturday 24th September 2022 Cartoon, Ode & Diary

SATURDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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05:00hrs: When I stirred, I struggled with , for control of my brain. For I was aware (for once) of the need to rise and get lots of things that needed to be done; so as not to let down the Link bus driver by being late at the collection point. I was determined not to get myself into a pickle and keep calm, not get all agitated like yesterday afternoon when things went apeshit again. I really wanted to keep calm today, with an eye on my Blood Pressure to help me on my mission. (Had I known what lay ahead, I’d not have bothered! I rose with little difficulty and, at that time, was rather pleased with myself. Indeed, I was close to having a .
As soon as I got into the kitchen the
I’d left the hot water tap running in the sink! Cold water again – just on a morning I need to get a good shower and shave for the visit it the Doctor! Already the self-despising and anger were brewing! I cursed and swore for ages and had to take the decision to have stand-up wash teeth and shaving sessions, using water from the kettle and two saucepans. Carrying them into the wet room, back before the water got cold, to refill and get them on the stove and back again to the wet room several times was decidedly risky.
I paid the price. Blistered finger, scolded foot, and clouted my elbow on the corner of the cooker, dropping the luckily empty pan on the floor! My anger and frustrations were getting shameful now!.
I got through with the task pretty quickly; then again, I was still determined to. A few more little nicks when shaving, but the hands were like blurs as shaved away at warp speed!
Got medicated where needed, dressed, and out of the wet room to check on the pots and pans I’d used in the kitchen. I’d made a bit of a mess, but no time now to worry about that. I hoped whichever Carer came was early. Then I could ask for help with things… well, why not?
I had to return to the wet room. This typifies my rotten luck – things have been fone in the evacuation department. But just because I needed to rush… Four rock-solid giant H-Bomb-shaped escapees! One at a time! Each one was more painful and took me longer to force out. The last one was a battle and a half!
Bled so much, poor things. Even more, time was lost in cleaning and . I wasn’t sorry that was over!

0735hrs: ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chimed up. At last, the Carer had arrived! Of course, Meridian Management had not sent her a message about coming earlier! Told me had she been advised, she could have gotten here earlier. Shame! Lovely Carer Sinead, it was today. She set to give me the medications first. Then help me with the cash for the bus fare. Even closed the tabs on the shoes for me when I asked. I insisted she take a drinkie and nibble of her choice in thanks when she left.
I avoided the problems for once, being in such a rush to get down in time for the lift..
I arrived with three minutes to spare in the ground floor lobby. And began a mega-long ait for the arrival of the Link bus. I was questioning if I’d got something wrong about the appointment after all? Nothing showed up… well, a squirrel did. Haha!

I waited for about an hour, then gave up and returned to the flat.
I got the magnifying glass and found the telephone number on the Link leaflet and gave them a call.
No one is available at weekends, call back on Monday after 11:00hrs. Well, another problem without a solution?
Now there may be an email from the foot lady about their appointment today. At least I can get there this time.
I set the alarm on my mobile phone for an hour later. Just in case I don’t hear the text when it comes in. Then finished the Friday blog and posted it off.
Noise from the flat above that did not settle; it went on for hours and hours. Clunks and bangs! Later there were a few breaks from the noise of the impolite, insensitive, disrespectful, snobbish, haughty, pompous Herbert. But he was back again within minutes each time. Huh, just typed that, and he’s gone all quiet?

The alarm went off on the mobile. I got ready and trotted… well, limped down with the three-wheeler walker trolley in the lift to the ground floor. I meandered gently along the link corridor to the end and the hair & foot salon on my left.

Aha, locked up and empty of people! I moved on to the end of the corridor and took a photo of the ILC (Independent Living Coordinators), who are Oberstgrüppenführeress, Primo Ballerina, Warden, Deana, and Generaloberstess, Junior Ice-skating champion Julie. I could see no souls about anywhere on all my wanders.

I turned, somehow I was not surprised they had closed down, let’s face it, it’s just my luck, innit?
I took a close-up photo of the sign.
So we could read it. Bodes not well for the business, closing down for holidays?

I then had a thought – I do that sometimes, you know… have a thought! I nails growing so fast, I’m going to find it harder and harder to walk?
Just a thought!

I’ve been into this blogging, and the times have flashed by. The will be here soon. Better get some quick nosh sorted, methinks.
Back in a bit… or the morning. (The Morning updating):

Got the meal prepared, down in the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner. Feet up on a swivel chair. Not ideal when one is trying to eat peas and cope with the Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s twitches and palpitations. Spent a lot of time retrieving odd peas from my body, the carpet, one in the slipper, two in the dressing gown pocket (No ideas how they got there], some made their way into the waste bin near the recliner, and about four are still on the floor underneath the Hopewell’s G-Plan, 1966 made cabinet, but at the back, I’ll ask Richard on Monday if he can retrieve them for me. Where was I? Oh, yes, the meal! Flavour-Rating 6.5/10. Ate it all, apart from the errant peas, of course.

Chloe arrived in a rush, as is usual. But we did have a laugh while it lasted. Treats and off she went, taking the waste bag with her.

I went to wash up the pots and things, and I could not resist trying to get some decent shots of the evening sky through the kitchen window. I took the first one in Auto-Mode on the Lumix camera. Crossing my fingers that the SD card will get them this time. Then tried a zoomed-in a bit, effort using the SCH-Evening mode on the camera dial. As I was taking this one, an instant demand came to a wee-wee – No messing about, I grabbed Metal Micky and shot off to the wet room. Fearing that the Comfort Protection Pants might be about to be tested here! But, No! I whipped out Little Inchie and had to wait for ages for the trickle to start, and it only lasted for a few seconds; this confused me somewhat? Washed and went back to the kitchenette. Where I took this picture of the changed view on offer from Mother nature. Amazing how quickly the evening skies change.
And back to the wet room. This time for Porcelain Throne duties, during which; the wee-weeing flooded out? A comfortable, aperient evacuation was taken. But I had to wait for Little Med HydrInchie to stop leaking for blooming ages.
The fungal lesion was bleeding again. I assume through my stupidity of whipping down the pants so roughly on my first visit for a wee, Tsk! I tried the new ointment this time, in hopes that for some reason it would be less painful than the Daktacort was. It wasn’t!  
I went back to the computer and took the nightly capsule of Hemp.
I pondered on whether to risk an extra Codeine 30g. No doubt the lesion will sting for a while yet, and sleep, I would like to have some.
But resisted and took a tablet of the less effective but much better than Paracetamol, Co-Codamol.

I settled down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus.
But every time I nodded off, the pants would catch on the lesion as a shuffled about in search of a comfortable position, and sharp pain would bring me back out of any sleep mode I was in.
I did consider changing into one of the larger pants. Maybe thinking about it now, I should have, I think! Cause I lost count of how many times I was unceremoniously and painfully woken up!

Yet amazingly, when I shot awake again around 05:00hrs, there was no pain from Little Inchies fungal lesion whatsoever?

Life can be more strange than any fiction.

Morning all!

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 21st September 2022

WEDNESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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03:40hrs: Another shooting awake, the arms jounced, and slowly the brain woke up as well. The only thing it was interested in was my hastening to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did!
No injuries or Accifauxpas en route; I got settled in the regulation position, and the evacuation began. I should think it was 80% putrid air and 20% of watery kaki-coloured liquid, with a few bloblets of the expected stuff mixed in.
Not too messy it didn’t spurt out. No bleeding.
Again, I thought, well, I’m in here now; I’ll get the ablutions tended to. most another bit of the left back double molar again… I don’t know how it hasn’t all gone by now; the number of times I lose a chunk of it?
I took extra care with the shaving this time. A couple of tin nicks, no bother.
Ah, there were some difficulties here. The Germoloiding of Harrolds Haemorrhoids went perfectly smoothly, with minimum pain of any sort. Then, the Phorpain gelling was more or less in the same style. Then, for some reason, the applicationing of the
Daktacort can only be described as horrendously painful. I stopped as soon as I felt that much pain in such a delicate area. And went to fetch the magnifying glass to see if I could find a use-by date in the tube or box. Nope, couldn’t see one anyway. I went to the medical drawer in the kitchenette and ferreted about for another tube. None left! I must ask Richard or Deana to order some for me.
A smothering of Germolene in place was tried. Totally-ineffective. I dare not use what bit of Daktacort that was left in the tube, so threw it away.
Then, the Danger of the Day, so far, had to be faced. 

Of course, I wasn’t worried at all; a heroic man with so many ailments is not going to let a plastic-coated finger-crunching, blood-letting thing like metal Sock Glide intimidate me. Well, more than suspected!
I got through it and got the socks on. A plaster on the trapped bleeding finger was all I needed this time. Freshened up my wobbly short-overweight body with antiperspirant spray and aftershave. Got dressed and tackled the next job, the .
Back down again! SYS 137. DIA 72, Pulse 78 bpm, and body temperature a good return at 34.3°f.
Back in the High-Norm amber area. I suppose a being shown is okay?
The second lowest rating I’ve ever recorded! Now I shall be looking to get in the green soon… Hehehe!

Was banging about above early again, around 06:00hrs. He must be making things for Christmas pressies early, mayhaps? Come think of it, I reckon he was noisy late at night and early mornings this time last year? I may be wrong, of course. ♫ It’s not unusual for Inchcock to be wrong… ♫

I got the computer on, and many comments on my blogs were received. It was from Bill, so I answered him. Off to make a mug of Thompson’s Punjana, and I took this morning shot of the view from the kitchen window. Not exactly awe-inspiring, is it?

I went back to the computer and checked the Emails.

Morrison and J Sainsbury’s had set a list of their substitutions and not available goods in today’s orders to be delivered.
Not good, is it? Still, I can give away the Tikka substitute; Deana might like them. The tomatoes should be okay. It’s funny how they always send dearer than the original substitutions.
JS had done even worse than Morrisons; that takes some doing. Same thing, dearer substitutes.
But they failed to tell me that the cheaper chilli cans I’d ordered were going to be substituted with a lot dearer ones! Humph! Anyway, I started to get things stored away. The Imperfect Tasty Strawberries were one for Deana and one for Francis, who I hope she’s back from the hospital by now and feeling better. I’ll ask Deana later.
Ah, my treats to myself here! Vegetarian shepherd’s pie, roast potatoes, veggie pasta, and sliced potatoes (well, it cuts back on chopped fingers!). Seasoned fresh cut chips as well… Oh, and a new one to me, Silky Butternut Squash Risotto; no idea what it will taste like, but without trying it, I’ll never know. Did you see that? Words of Wisdom… from me! Hehehe! Beefburgers and pot noodles for Carer Richard. Some individually portioned sticky rice pots and substituted No Chicken Tikka Masala with rice. I tried the one I ordered cause I knew I was okay with sweet & sour sauce. But I’ve tried Tikka before and did not like it. Are J Sainsbury staff told to select lousy substitutions on purpose? Is not sweet & Sour Chinese? And Tikka Indian?

At least they didn’t send me a pot of brown shoe polish this time. I’m not joking; I ordered potato cakes once and got a shoe polish pad!
Still, the owner has just lost a family member, the Queen. So, say no more. At least Morrison’s managed to deliver my favourite ready meal of all time. Roast Vegetable Risotto. It’s cracking tasty! I always put just a drop of BBQ sauce with it. And the packet of mushroom risotto I had yesterday, I think it was, was grand.
This is a loaf got the Wardens, cause it keeps fresher longer… someone told me.
I got some brown cobs for me from Lord Sainsbury: J Sainsbury plc is the parent company of Sainsbury’s Supermarkets Ltd, the third largest chain of supermarkets in the UK, with a 16.4% share of the market.
As of 2021, the largest overall shareholder is the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar Royal Family Investment Authority, which holds 14.99% of the company. It is listed on the London Stock Exchange and is a constituent of the FTSE 100 Index. The chain’s annual report shows that chief executive Simon Roberts picked up £2.8 million in bonuses for the year to March 5, on top of his £878,000 a year salary and other benefits. His mammoth pay deal includes a £1.7 million annual bonus and £1.1 million in long-term incentive scheme shares. Shame no one there knows the difference between a Chinese meal and an Indian one. Just thought I’d mention it! Not that I have anything against the Indians, they have my greatest respect and admiration. It’s just that their food does not sit well with me. Where was I?

Oh, yes… These were some of the giveaway items. I bought a few trays of fluffy rice. I just thought Deana might like one to try. Hope she likes Tikka.
She did call later after I’d got everything put away… Ah, something else I forgot to mention… A pack of six 1 litre Spring Water was delivered today; luckily, it was the first thing I moved into the kitchen from the blocked by food doorway. I felt the leaking water running down my leg onto the carpet; I then dropped the bottles when I got into the kitchen. What a mess I got into, and cleaning it up was no fun!
I lost the plot there… Sorry.
I put the flowers on the trolley, ready for when Deana or Julie, or both, came to see me about the lift for Friday.
Richard told me Deana would be calling today to see me. Which she did.

She told me she’s arranged for the lift on Friday to be for 10:00hrs So, hopefully, I can get to the B&M store to get some of the canned drinks that the Carers took to. I got some last week… no, a fortnight ago. But they all went first, but  I just cannot remember what they were called. When I see the cans, I’ll know, He says… Hehehe!
Onto the computer to make a start on this blog at long last.

♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ Hello, who’s that? It was Esther, after her six-week break visiting her family in South Africa for two weeks, that turned out to for four more. Can’t blame her! She’s calling tomorrow to do the laundry. She asked for a pen so she could write a note to another customer and post it through his door – I made sure I got the pen back this time! Hehe! 

I believe the sudden fatigue is coming back again now. 14:00hrs?
I’ll get a vegetable risotto in the microwave and add one bay-sized fluffy rice after three minutes, so they are ready at the same time. A drop of BBQ sauce will be added after cooking. This week I shall try harder to avoid any burnt fingers or dropped items when struggling to get the lid off of the trays.
The foods were both nearly ready. I made up a pot of Idaho instant mash with bubble & squeak, adding some extra-strong grated cheese and a quirt of my made-up to the bottle of liquid salt & distilled vinegar to the pot. Added a mini-pot of lemon mousse to the tray and got into the recliner to feast!


I had a cough and thought I saw some specs of blood in the tissue, well, the paper towel I used.
The meal was cooling as I checked the nose and mouth. Nowt to fret over, but puzzlingly all the ulcers in the gums seem to have erupted at the same time. I didn’t realise I’d got so many pustules in the gums. As for why this happened, I remain, as ever nowadays, confused.
Finally, I began the feast, ’cause that’s what it was, and even though I’ll let it cool more than I meant to, it was delicious! A Taste-Rating of 9.3/10!

I put the tray on the Carers desk next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner. And drifted of with a satisfied stomach into a wonderful – but short-lived, dream-filled sleep.
♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chimed out and brought me rudely to a state of semi-wakefulness. Blow it; I can’t remember her name now. Humph! She apologised for being late and mentioned how rushed she was. She soon got the medications sorted; and, with what seemed a reluctance, ask if there was anything else. There was, but she seemed so pressed I didn’t mention anything. A nice gal, I told her to pick a treat on her way out.
I think I was about to nod off again when I remembered I’d not locked the door. So, I locked it


Turning back from locking the door, I thought I’d have a look through the spy hole – which proved near fatal. Hehe! I twisted my back as I turned again, setting off poor and, at almost the same time, stubbed my toe on the three-wheel walker guide wheel… but I’d not finished yet. Oh, no!
Cursing my bad luck under my breath, and went into the wet room for a wee-wee and apply some Phorpain gel to Shirley. And walked into the doorframe, hit the shoulder, stopped, and automatically pee’d in my PPs, and I felt like crying. But I resisted it, after all being the heroic, stoic, brave, strong young man that I am…
At least Bladder-Belinda’s sudden leak came when I was in the wet room.
I evacuated the remaining few drops of urine from Bladder-Belinda. Stripped off and had a good clean-up. Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids,
And got the crap, not very effective  MedPhorpainPhorpain gel, rubbed into my back as best that I could get at. Surprisingly, the toe stinging started to ease off?
Got some fresh PPs on, the Depend brand that had coped admirably well with Bladder-Belinda’s earlier escaping mini-torrent. was left until last. Because the shoulder charge on the wet room doorframe had set her off shuddering away, but now she had calmed down.
It took me so long to sort things out that by the time I was leaving the wet room, the and , were of little bother now.
Of course, now I had to rely on to get me through the doorway without any . Easy-peasy! I think that when I go going into the room and the light blaring at my eyes is why there are more walk-intos than when leaving the wet room?

A momentary Sherlock Holmesian conclusion there?Haha!

I got settled into the c1968 recliner seat…
Tired out, with Thought STorms to compete,
My mood was just a tad downbeat,
Thought of the Risotto… that was a treat!
Cramps now, in the fingers, legs and feet!
I must be getting closer to the scrapheap,
Losing my battle for peace and sleep…
My life seems full of things grossièreté!
Don’t know when, but I got nodded off alreet…
Dreamt I was on holiday; it looked like Crete?
2:55hrs, I sprang wide awake. Did I oversleep?
Asleep only five minutes, I could weep!

MORNING ALL!

Inchcock: Monday 19th September 2022

POLITICAL CARTOON
♥ A THANK YOU TO THE NHS STAFF ♥
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GC sleepAInchcock woke up this morning at 04:25hrs. No change to usual, he wanted, well needed, a weewee! And as usual, by the time he’d struggled with his balance exercises, he also needed to utilise the Porcelain Throne. He seemed all calm compared to how he was during last night’s series of Accifauxpas. He made his way, on his painful right knee, to the wet room, still half asleep. He woke up a little more as he entered through the door Inchie walked into the door frame that had protesting violently, ensuring he was soon wide awake. He swore a little, gritted his teeth, and nearly spat in disgust at himself and Cataract Katie. Oh, that was in second-person style?

At least the evacuation was a lot easier and mushier, which I expected after taking the Galpharm by mistake for Co-Codamol last night. No bleeding or mess needed to be cleaned up. It took me a while to stop the shaving cuts from bleeding.
And I decided to get the ablutions done while I was in the wet room. Did you see that? I made a decision!
Then got some Phorpain rubbed into , and of course , no painkillers, cause with the problems these last few days, I’ve taken a few extras, and that is not good.
After all, me being a famously handsome, sought after by women, brave, heroic sort of super-stud and intellectual, it would look bad if I couldn’t take a bit of pain.

I came out of the wet room without any further injuries and made a mug of Thompson’s Signature Blend tea.
The sky’s colouration was so different this morning. Yesterday’s deep blues had been replaced with an odd mix of browns and blacks. Still beautiful all the same. Ah, Mother Nature! Now, take note if you please; It was approx’ 06:00hrs when I used the camera to take this delightful morning view.

I did the sphygmomanometerisationing and luckily: very luckily, wrote down the figures to go on the excel record.
And got the computer on to update and copy the graph, as shown here. Then put the figures onto the NHS DVT blood pressure assessment page on the web.

I was back up to the Hypertension 3 again! I did note that it was last Monday, the last time it was so high. I’m not sure if that means anything connected to my dislike of Sundays?
I then realised I had forgotten to take a photo of the monitor and body temperature thermometer. Which, in turn, got me thinking, where is the camera anyway? Ah… in the kitchen, of course, that’s where I took the photo of the morning’s view… obvious, innit? But, No!
I poddled into the kitchenette to get it. After about 15 minutes of failed searching, I was baffled, to say the least.
Dementia Doreen filtered the thought into my brain: “Did you drop the camera when closing the window?
Oh dearie me, surely not? This was enough to reinstate my Sherlockian investigations. But, still no success.
So, the Hallway next. Nope! The junk room. Nope! The airing cupboard? Nope! Well, the dang thing must be somewhere! Hopefully, not 12 storeys down smashed on the pavement!
Back into the computer room, another time-costing ferret around. But nope. if it was there, I could not find it.
So, as of 17:00hrs, as is now, when I finally got around to doing this blog – the Lumix camera’s location remains a mystery. Hence my often used phrase: Such are the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry, scare and confuse me!.
So, no photographs taken… apart from the morning skies one.

I was not feeling too good now and could have done without Herberts banging away. Still, it didn’t last for so long this time.

I got a call on the mobile and was impressed by the clarity of the new ring tone I’d chosen… But, could I find the mobile? Nope! Now my sanity was being questioned – worryingly by me!
Sherlockian Mode adopted again, and I searched for the mobile; it had to be in this room, or I’d never have heard it. That helped, not having to search the whole flat again.
Finding, after a lengthy hunt around, that it was in the coat hanging on the back of the chair I was sitting in at the computer created a smidgeon of ‘Feeling-Stupid’ in me. It was from Jenny, so I rang her back.
She asked if I would like some tomatoes, I thanked her, and she said she’d bring them up later and drop them at the door after ringing the bell. ♥

I’ve come across a single word on one line in the scribble memory pad; it say’s ‘Paper’? I wish I knew what it meant. Tsk!

Jane and Pete posing for me – 2018

Sister Jane called on the landline to see if I was watching the Queen’s funeral. I ended up feeling so guilty when I said no. Two sentences from her stern voice, and I put the TV on to ease my guilt! Hehehe! We had a nice chinwag for a while, but she got a call from hubby Pete, and she rang off.
Being as I’ve not taken any photos for hours and hours, mainly because I can’t without a camera – here is a photo I took earlier of Jane & Pete’s visit, behind the flats. August 2018, I believe.

At long last, I got the Sunday blog updated and as I was saving it ready to do a final grammar check. I got the shakes from i.e., , which are far more damaging than Shaking Shaun, cause they last so much longer each time, particularly when on the computer, as was the case here.
The hand shot the mousse all over the screen. I had no idea what buttons I’d hit, but the whole blog disappeared. No longer in Post listings! I don’t know how I managed to avoid bursting into tears; it was a close thing, though. After trying various things and confirming it was not in the unpublished or published lists, my heart sank. All those lost hours, gone like a puff of smoke! I was out of ideas; surely, if I’d deleted it, WordPress would have asked me for confirmation? I turned off the computer, no longer interested; I was in despair, grief and misery.

Walked into the doorframe, cuts shaving, the camera lost, and now, the blog lost.
As I felt myself sinking into a Dracula Depression, from somewhere deep within, I thought – hang-on mush, did you catch the delete button? So, without much hope, I got the computer back on and checked – There it was in the deleted file! I do believe I gave out a Whoop! Cause started his banging away, he must have heard me?

Thinking what a genius I am, I published the blog hastily and copied the web address to send by email to my multitude of followers, oh, yes, both of them! But: The address came up with ‘3-trashed’ in the title?
I remembered to restore the deleted post, but am not sure if it got through? No likes of messages have come through on it? Depression falls again!

The Evening Carer is due anytime now; I’ll get something to eat then.
Jodie rang and entered. The first thing she said was, “Oh, you’re topless!” I covered my man breasts with my hands, laughed and said, “Oh, sorry!” I put a jacket on straight away. Jodie did the medications, and we had a minute or two of nattering and laughing. I gave her Shepherd’s Pie meal that I forgot to give to Josie, and she seemed pleased with that. She took the waste bag with her on the way out. I locked the door, and I went into the wet room for a quick wash and do the .
: I found the Lumix Camera!!! It was in with the PPs in the bag… How and why I should put it there in the first place; will have to remain a secret with Dementia Doreen forever!

Boy, I was tickled-pink at finding it! Following making a meal, which I rated for Taste-Rating at 6/10. Mushrooms with a drop of liquid smoke and vinegar added while cooking (not bad!), veggie sausages (tasty!), sliced tomatoes (tangy), and some of the terribly tasteless McCain crinkle-cut microwave chips. (I’ll use up what I have left but not get these again). A pot of Del Monte mandarins in orange jelly, it was so bitter, irony-flavoured, my first and last time I try these as well.

.Washed the pots, and for the rest of the night, I kept nipping out to the kitchen to take shots of the sun setting, and I was relatively pleased with some of the shots.

My body and mind told me to get to sleep, and Sweet Morpheus refused the request! But this time, it didn’t matter so much; Being overjoyed but felt stupid for losing it and over the moon at finding the Lumix. I couldn’t stop myself from repeatedly getting up and taking the changing photos of the evening view from the kitchenette window.
Rather, unfortunately, I’d gone into a smug mode over finding the Lumix and taking a few decent shots with it. After taking the last picture, I got a , against the cabinet door corner as I moved away from the window.
Naturally, I just light-heartedly laughed it off… No, no swearing, cursing, spitting, moaning, self-disgust, or growling under my breath.

I spent far too long fling the flat checks tonight. Many things had to be checked several times to convince myself that they were done right; Both sink taps were well checked, numerically. And the oven not being left on checks were done twice. Tsk!

But, Sweet Morpheus denied my dropping off to sleep. Then the Thought Storms arrived, and they were so bad this time. But, a sort of salvation saved me from the anguish, worries and fears: Colin cramps attacked, and this took away my concerns over the Thought Storms – and replaced them with agony! Both hands, left-hand fingers, and the left leg took the brunt of his onslaught. It’s still sore now, nine hours later. The right knee feels a bit delicate too. Haha!

Huh! Who needs sleep?

Saturday Diary & Ode: 17th September 2022

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To my cyber-buddy and fellow none-fitter-innerer Billumski!
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I think I had more sleep last night than I have in any week! Sadly, it was all in bits and pieces, broken by being woken and my habit of straying off doing things after I’d needed one of the several wee-wees. Also, some persistent Thought-Storms of an aggressive nature.

But I returned to the doubtful comfort of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner; after each hobble about, or moving things around for no reason, and rearranging of a food cupboard. Why? I anticipate finding other things that I may well have done in my noctambulations later on.

I lay there, pondering over this and that, and anything and the bowels decided to try and evacuate the inner product of its own accord… There followed a sequence of events that were events that were worthy of the Comedy Sketch of a Year Award. I thank heavens there are no CCTV cameras in this flat!

①: I fumbled and bumbled my way up onto my feet; crumbs, the TV remote and a part-eaten packet of pistachio nuts hit the floor and spread all over the carpet..
②: No time for the waking-up to catch my balance routine, I grabbed Metal-Micky, and on the first imitation step, I found one of the pistachio nuts with my left foot.
③: So, as I crumpled onto the floor, my right knee found another escaped Pistachio nut!
④: I went through some pain getting up again, and was only concerned at that moment with getting to the in time… The narrow hallway walls sustain me getting into the wet room, for Metal Micky was laying somewhere in the front room wherever it was, I’d dropped him in the tumble.
⑤: The fight to get the pyjamas down delayed me and caused more panic; I tore them, in the end, to get them down quicker…
⑥: To no avail, I fear! The bladder and bowels won this one! They both started before my bum got down on the plastic .
⑦: At least things were over quickly, but they left me with I don’t know how long to put right and clean up the wet room, then the exit points had to be cleaned and medicated. Fortunately, I keep a supply of the PPs and large kitchen towels with the Germolene and Germolids to hand in the wet room. Along with the aftershave and plasters to steady any shaving cuts or leaks from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion while I’m doing the ablutions.

I can’t understand why now; no doubt it made sense at the time, but I felt a little smug at coping with these embarrassments and decided to get the done while I was in there.
The right knee was not in good shape after its attack on the Pistachio nut earlier. Hehe! in shaving, left me using the plasters and the aftershave to stop the bleeding! Little Inchies Lesion was not leaking; all were okay!   Oh, and the hair at the lower back of the head come neck is definitely growing again – white! I shaved it off.
After getting things all sorted, new PPs and socks (that were a hell of a job to get them on!) on, The right knee was now very tender!  I packed the affected PPs in the disposal bag and returned to get Metal Micky from the recliner room…
When I got back in the room, I thought I’d had burglars! I’d cleared the shelf above the electric fire of all the rubbish, and that had joined the crumbs and food on the carpet! Making it worse, a bottle of disinfectant I keep there for the wee-wee bucket had lost its cap when it got knocked over!
I’d also like to know how I managed to get Metal Micky left right in the corner her the bookcase? I think it would a physical impossibility, surely? Anyway, it was hard enough trying to retrieve it; I had to climb over the many fallen object to get to it – so I used the long picker-upperer. Cunning that, I thought!
I got Micky back with the stick and was almost on the verge of congratulating myself as I turned around and against the shredder. Another flipping moment!

I stopped doing everything. And mountaineered my way to the recliner, resisting crying, and just sat down and spoke to myself as calmly as I could… “This is not a good start. Fair enough, the bladder and bowels are out of your control, as are your fingers, feet, legs, shoulder etc… no good getting depressed, mate; it’s just how it is. What you need is some help when things like this happen. I agreed with myself, called myself a pratt, and did my belated balance exercise.
At this point, I noticed the clock… that was on the floor with all the other jetsam and flotsam – I checked with my watch, and they both indicated it was only 04:30hrs! Christ, what time did I get up then?

I swore to take things calmly from here on today. And tackled the mammoth job of cleaning and sorting things out in the room. I’m not saying I didn’t have a few moments of self-pity cause I did feel sorry for myself once or twice. But found the determination to just press on with the sorting. No rushing, doing it quietly. I got something out of it at the end of the task, I’d got three waste bags full of rubbish to go to the chute. Hahaha! Somehow or other, I perked up a smidgeon, too! It was well gone eight O’clock by the time I’d sorted the mess. Then I made a prayer for it not to happen again for a while, please.

It then dawned on me… the Morning Carer had not been yet? Quick as a flash, I realised it was a Saturday, so no fretting. Meridian was very late arriving last Saturday as well. They do have trouble getting staff at the weekend, it seems. Moments later, a call came in through the landline, and it was from Meridian.
The lady told me that the Carer was outside and could not get in. I took it as she was outside the building and told her to press the intercom 72 and I could let her in… then I thought I’d better check, and I inquired if she was outside the door or the flats? But the lady did not know. I said I’d get my walking stick and go have a look. Got the Wooden Wilmer stick, and I went to the door.
The Carer was outside of the flat door, complaining because she could not get the key lock code to work. I smiled gently, using one of my calming half-smiles, and told her I can’t either! And broke into a broad grin. That did it, I think; I caught her heart!   Hahaha! I explained that the door was not locked; sometimes, I forget to unlock it, but not often. If she presses this button, pointing out the door chime, I will hear it, but not anyone knocking on the door. I’m deaf, senile and decrepit, but that can’t be helped. She did larf! I liked her straight away.

Her name was Sinead, not seen before. I think she was from another assignment somewhere else; that’s why she was late, getting me added to her list. Nice gal, we had a little chinwag. She said she’d come again if she got the chance.

Well, I’ve still not done the Health Checks yet, better get them done. The last time I did them later in the day, the figures were down, so here’s hoping.

Well, that didn’t help much, doing it late, did it? Ah, well, as a part of my commitment to resist swearing, feeling sorry for myself and keeping calm, all I can say is: Hey-Ho!

Time to sort out something for dinner; no bother making up my mind today; I’ve a fancy for some chips and a veggie burger! The chips are oven ones that claim to be vegan. looking forward to trying them.
and Yet again, the photo I took of the meal has evaporated into the ether! I’d love to know how this happens; cause I took a look at it after shooting it and was pleased with the result. Come the morning, when I uploaded the last few photographs, there it was gone! Grrr!
The chips looked very tattie and were thick-skinned, but I did enjoy them all the same. Taste-Rating: 6.5/10.

Arrived, it was Sharon; I knew her name the second she told me after I asked her what it was! (Dementia Doreen again!) She didn’t stay long, but we managed a mini-natter before she chose her treats and departed.

Washed the pots, locked the door and a rinse, and made for the warmth of the rickety c1966 recliner. I feared that I may not be able to get back to sleep and put the telly on… but could I find anything worth watching? No!
I mused over which DVD to watch. Whilst doing so, I drifted off into Sweet Morpheus’ land… Nice!

Two hours later, I woke in desperate need of a wee-wee! The memories of this morning’s facial, embarrassing and painful events came flooding back.
Would I make it to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time without any more Accifauxpas? again, but I got things flowing without any disasters.
Stopping it flowing was the problem! The went on and on… I was almost tired out by the time it ended. Hehehe! I did have a mini during the leaking, but it only lasted for seconds – !

I felt the warm wet sensation when I pulled up the PPs. So, off I limped with Metal Micky to change the pants and clean up.
As I entered the wet room,
I stubbed my toe against the vicious, blood and bruise-bringing, metal, agony-to-use, brutal
!
I’m sure she had moved from this morning; I thought I’d put her safely out of the way behind the mop bucket… I’m sure I did! Now, she was near the sink? Obviously, the work of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! Or maybe .

That was the end of any thoughts of getting back to sleep again!

Friday 16th Sept: Farcical Diabetes Meeting Day

FRIDAY FUN CARTOON

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THE USUAL TODAY- REPEATEDLY!

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03:35hrs: I stirred, passed the wind and coughed a little. Found a couple of chips in the crumpled cushion as I exited the recliner. Between my legs was a kitchen towel roll, crushed?
I remembered the diabetes session and the need to get the blog done and posted before going out. So, without any delay, I got the computer going. But Mr Fries, the overpaid smoke & Mirrors boss, decided I wouldn’t! Down Again!

I got the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by, ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China, and carried out the I used the Lumix cameras on Auto mode, to take this photo, not good is it?


As has been the blood pressure habit now for a week or more, up and down twixt the Red’s Hypo-1, 2, and 3, and suddenly back down into the amber zone; Today’s being on the border of the Hypertension 2 & 3.
This does not seem to bother my Doctor much at all. Nor me, for that matter; there’s no way of getting any helpful advice. I put the figures onto the Excel record. Someone just might be interested. I can hear and see them now: ‘Well, of course, I knew this would nobble him in the end. Still, he’d had enough, having Dementia, Cataract, and Depression… it’s a blessing in disguise. Where did you say he kept his money?
Hehehe! It’s essential to keep a sense of humour, innit?

Back on the computer, to see if ambidextrous Mr Fries, the money-cruncher and con-man, has worked out how to get the Virgin Media Internet back online – Oh, it’s working!
Well, done, Mr Fries; give yourself another $1 bonus.

I got the blog finished and sent it off to WordPress. A funny one about me and Alto-Inchy.

But of course, it went down again.

So I got the ablutionisationing done.
A few cuts shaving, but nothing serious. Then the came into use. Trotsky and Constipation Konrad were both about equally effective.

Carol, not seen her for a week or two. Lovely woman. Got the meds sorted and had a laugh and natter. ♥.

Got the things that needed to be checked ready for the Link bus to arrive. Got in a pickle with finding some of the stuff needed, Tsk! Down and outside with the trolley walker in good time. The driver took the payment from my pocket, and we were soon in Bulwell, in the Riverside car park. An unexpected scene presented itself… As the driver got me out of the minibus, I spotted the number of people queuing. along the back of the car park, up to the main road and around the corner!
I thought there might have been a fire alarm at first. There were people mustering the queuers who all had Nottingham City Council Badgers on. One of them came over to the driver and said something to him. He related, “You’ve got to join the queue to get in “. I joined the rank and file, behind what I estimated as 120 people! The driver drove off.
After 15-minutes and very little movement, I observed that an inordinately large percentage of the people were wearing face masks. Then it clicked, and I asked the man and woman in front of me, “Is this the Covid vaccination queue?” Yes, the lady said. The Nottingham City Council bouncer has assumed that is what I went there for. And sent me to join them. Naughty!
I walked into the centre, but I could not see any of the others on the course? Mind you, by now, it was well passed the starting time. So I went up in the lift, and I found some standing in the hallway. It seems some of them had had a text telling them the course will now start at 11:00 hrs, not 11:00hrs? While three of them had one telling them it will begin at the usual time?
Several of them said, Sod this, it’s farcical; I’m going home! As they approached the stairs to leave, the course man Nathanial arrived. I’m not sure if they all came back or not, but there seemed to be more space in the room compared to the last meeting.
As the meeting started, I stopped Nat to tell him, “I can’t hear what he’s saying, he’s too quiet, and when you do speak up, it’s too fast for me to catch”. I set the ball rolling there! Three others backed me up. Nathanial was amazed and thought we could all hear him. Then carried on in just the volume!

We all made a rush to escape when the meeting was over. I went down with Helen in the lift with our trolleys. Got outside, but the queue was still massive, nowhere to sit while waiting for the minibus. Helen’s taxi arrived, so then I had no one to talk to either. Hehe!

The bus arrived, and the non-communicative driver soon me back at the flats. Gave him a bottle of shandy in appreciation and hobbled up to the flat.

To find a letter delivered that looked official! Had a wee-wee, washed and investigate the correspondence. It was the Co-op Bank informing me of the balance of my savings account. It had gone up from last year… from £2.99, to £3.00. Ah, well!

I took a photo of the afternoon view.
Did some updating on this blog, and then the Fatigue-Fall fell on me?
I was of no use at all. My concentration collapsed, and my body and mind told me to get sat down and relax.
So I did!

within seconds of sitting down, and I slept unbrokenly for about four hours. To be rudely awoken to the chimes of ♫ Oh Susana ♫ blaring out.
Jozeph had arrived. I was only partially aware of what took place, but I feel we had a little natter. Memories of walking to the door with him to lock it and having to ask him to take the waste bag.

I thought I was going to stay up. So, the evening sky and sunsetting looked so beautiful; I thought I’d take some shots of it from the left to the right.

Mother Nature at her finest.

I then proceeded t get something to eat, but I didn’t feel up to making a full meal.
So, the microwave and kettle were used. A veggie burger on a cob and a pot of instant potato, bubble & squeak with cheese granules added.
I got down in the recliner to eat eat, making plans of updating this blog later, and even scribbled some notes to reaming me to go into it. I soon had it eaten, put the tray on the Carers table, while making plans of all the work I’d got to catch up on…
And drifted off until 03:35hrs in the morning! But it was a fitful sleep, full of jumping awakes, that it felt like were happening every five minutes!
Humph!

Inchcock Today Wednesday 14th September 2022

POLITICAL CARTOON
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Sad, innit? Hehehe!
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I stirred into ersatz life around 0315hrs, in need of a wee-wee. By the time I’d caught my balance and was up on my feet grabbing Metal-Mickey, another need arose, that of the , and I made my way to the wet room,
I managed to give my right big toe a stubbing of excellent quality, pain-wise. On the end of the open door from the front room. Dropping Metal-Micky, which knocked a photo off of the corner unit and broke the glass of the frame!
I just had to sort the mess out there and then. I had a terribly hard job picking up all the glass while hoping and praying my efforts would be successful in containing or retaining the torpedo that was getting anxious to be freed!
I got it cleaned up, the photo back loosely in the frame. With Back-Pain-Brenda giving me some gip, I dare not hobble in the usual fashion, so I shuffled as speedily as I could manage to the awaiting closet.
  Got into the landing position for the seat, dropped the stick, and then whipped down the jammie bottoms and PP’s in one go; and plunk! I’d not even hit the plastic before the evacuation began.
After a few seconds, there was a worrying hold-up that needed some input on my behalf to get things moving again. Once I got through that snag, things went smoothly again and were not as painful as usual. A few specks of blood from Harolds Haemorrhoids, I reckon, the blood, what bit there was of it, did not have runniness that Little Incies Fungal Lesion shoots out.
The hot water was running better today. Still not like it used to be, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Made up two waste bags; most of the contents were from last night’s farcical series of & last night when I was making the worst ever mess of cooking an uneatable meal. I cringed when I wrote that, remembering all the mistakes I made doing it! I got Richard’s treats ready, not those in the fridge, too early.

Got the computer on, and the mind did it again… I had to sit there, totally incapable of gathering my thoughts or concentration. This happens now and again; I thought maybe it did last night when I was making the meal?

Notwithstanding, within a few minutes, the problems started with WordPress. It would not show the comments on the site page again. Which meant going through the comments tag, which offers no ‘Like’ button, and I always like to use that. Humph!

Nokia

Scam Text!

Around 05:00hrs, I got sa message on the mobile. An odd hour to get one of these, I thought… I heard the new louder tone I’d selected the other day, but could I find the phone? No! Well, not for what seemed like an hour of searching for it, Hehehe! I eventually gave up, and when I got back to the computer after searching each of my three rooms and clothes in the hallway, and knocked the pen off of the desk, got the picker-upperer to retrieve it and – spotted the phone in my slipper? Why I didn’t look there first, I don’t know… Hehehe! I’d love to know how and why it ended up on the slipper. But it will remain a Dementia Doreen’s secret, as a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!
I was so annoyed when I opened the message; It was one I’d been having for a year or two. ‘You have been in contact with a confirmed Covid case. Ring this number…’ Grrr! Scammers!

Arrived, looking a little weary the lad was. But we chatted away merrily… well, some of it wasn’t so merry. I told him of my frustration at WordPress not allowing me access to the comments and told him the problems it gave me.

He tried to help as best he could in between his yawnings. But between us, we got more lost with it. Hehehe! Gave him his treats; if anyone deserves them, Richard does. He always goes further in trying to help than any other Carers do. Bade Richard farewell, and I made a brew of Glengettie. There’s a story to this mug of tea: I put the kettle on and saw I was low on teabags in the caddy. So, went into the cupboard to get some more Glengettie out to fill the caddy. And found two tea bags that had fallen at the back. They were round ones, so not Thompsons. They had to be Glengettie, Co-op 99, or J Sainsbury extra-strong. Funny, how can one get distracted by little pointless things like this? I thought I’ll use one now, but it fell to pieces as I picked it up – Gawd, I thought, how long has that been there? I sniffed the other one, which smelt like a Glengettie to me, and made a brew with it; I’ll know by its taste. It was a Glengettie! Amazing how long they last, innit? Lost none of strength or bitterness that is usual with Glengettie. Just thought I tell yer…

Got the Tuesday blog finished and posted. Then made a start on today’s Ode. Got it finished and doctored, then got carried away, adding to the ode-word list… I can’t help it; I love words.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the doorbell. I thought it might be Josie bringing the Sunday lunch tray and things back; thank heavens she’s not left it till later and woke me up again. But no, it wasn’t Josie! I opened the door, and there were some homegrown tomatoes on the floor… which had to be Jenny donating to me.
Always have a tangy taste bite to them, these that Jenny gives me. She knows I love them. Bless her.
I checked on the condition of the sourdough bread from yesterday.
I immediately, and that’s fast for me; I decided to have the bread, well buttered, and tomatoes for lunch… tea or dinner… maybe supper today.

I was late again in getting the done. This could have been that with doing them late yesterday and the graph going into the amber, I’d subconsciously left it late again? I got out the thermometer and started sphygmomanometerisationing.

Well, it was only a thought. Hehehe!
Back up to the danger reds level two, Hypertension stage.
SIA 169, DIA 75, Pulse 78 or 8, and the Body Temperature at 3.34°f.

This up and down is bothering me a smidgeon. I did mention it to the Doctor  I got no suggestions or instructions. In fact, I got no response at all.
It’s being so popular that’s keeping me going, you know! Haha!

I’ve started to keep a new record of the once-daily readings on Excel. It doesn’t look too good, just the two in the green
results over four days. Mmm! Hehehe! It’ll change soon; it always does; you watch, then a day or two later, it’ll shoot up again.

Time to get the bread and tomatoes prepared, methinks.
Bootiful clouds out there when I was slicing the tomatoes, slicing and buttering the bread and getting some chips in the oven. Luckily I have several plasters to pick from when I cut the finger.

I got the chips in the oven and spread some imitation butter on the slices of sourbread. Cut the tomatoes and went to do a J Sainsbury order for next week… but… Hard to believe, I know.


Obviously, Liberty-Global, Virgin Media supremo Mr Fries, has not managed to go four days without the signal going down. Still, as long as he gets his paltry salary of $23.6 million a year, plus bonuses and an expense account, why should he be interested in his customers? You must admire the man’s chicanery, thaumaturgy, figure-shuffling, slithery sidestepping and number-crunching. That somehow fools his bosses that he knows what he’s doing. I hate him, but I’m still jealous of the con-man supreme.

Got the fodder on the tray with a pot of lemon mousse, and I gobbled it all up without any bother. Mind you, it was a small meal for me. Purposely of cause, you see, as a part of my new diet regime. I am determined to lose weight by hook or by crook. I’m dedicated to it…

Two came tonight. Neither rang the door chime again. I mentioned this to both of them. I explained why, calmy, to them again why I wanted them to; “I could have been changing blood pants or taking a wee-wee; had I been doing either, the chime would have alerted me and given me time to stop you walking in and causing me embarrassment, you see?” I’m not sure it got through, and the new Carer seemed annoyed as if I’d told her off, saying We can’t get in your key safe. Well, the door wasn’t locked anyway? The regular gal was okay about it.

The hot water was still as hot as it used to be? Teggies did first, then the shaving – most cautiously. No more chunks of teeth fell off, one… I say…ONE tiny cut shaving, no dizzies, leg dances or banging into anything in the shower session! Brilliant!