INCHIE: Wednesday 29th March 2023

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Annuver mind-blowing, busy, getting nothing done, and frustrating… but not so much so as yesterday was! I think.
But don’t let fool you. It was horrendous!
When I say horrendous, it wasn’t all horrible; there were about ten minutes of near-contentment around 13:00hrs.
The promise of the medications about to arrive was soon demolished.
About a third of them came. But no Catheter night bags, and the new tablets for the Prostate reduction, failed to make it.
So, the night is going to be another one of agony.
Another promise of the rest of the things to arrive tomorrow; I’m not too hopeful of fruition after waiting for a fortnight. No Warfarin, but I do have a few left. No INR nurse arrived to take the blood for testing. No DVT nurse came for the vein draining. Heard nothing about the next brain scan. The after-stroke & falls team have not appeared for a few weeks. I’m out of the cream for Little Inches’ fungal lesion.
And I’ve had a tumble in the kitchen. Hands and knees job back to the front room, knocking the bottles of spring water off of the ottoman en route… with one of them landing right on my Onychovryotosis (ingrowing toenail). Slipped using the arm of the  c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nobbling, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner, to get back up on my feet. Had to sit down for a while.
The Carer gals had done their best for me.
But there is always that feeling; ‘What next!’ There’s always something going wrong. Now it’s emails from Grammarly telling me my renewal has been refused, but not why. Is it another con job?
Depression is a constant in my life now!
Still, the Matron called to see me. She’s been asked to by the Doctor, who was worried about me? Now that’s new and nice! I mentioned the lack of medications, night bags for the catheter, and the odd sensations that overcome me at times. The problems with mail, email and the computer, not being able to get onto online banking to sort things out; and no help available with these issues. At least, I think I mentioned these difficulties to
Matron. If not, I meant to.
Now 23:45hrs, and I’m up to here in the blog. Tired, smelly, worried, half-out-of-it, and so hungry. Nowt new here then…
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A night of with the odd bother from tormenting ensuring that I seemed to spend longer awake than asleep. I gave up trying around 05:00hrs.

The urine looks darker than it really was when I emptied the pouch.

No change in the ankles.

No chance of any cloud pareidoliaing this morning.
White cars rule in the car park.

Jimminee, the colour of the wee this time was almost perfect.
And I was passing a lot, too!

The computer on! Made an order for Asda for next week. And signed up for the Delivery pass, which should save me a little. Went for the cheaper one, so I have to book orders for Tue-Wed-Thur each time to get it free.

The urine is getting a move-on today.
Lovely colour too!

Wonderful clouds this afternoon!

During the day, I had Carers Kara, Domestic Denise, Carer Josef, and Carer Carer Sam, who brought the part-medications for me; bless her. And bless Carer Carolynne, who looked at the computer problem for me. No decision was made or action was taken; mind you, she didn’t have the time.

Went to check on the spuds in the slow cooker.
Not sure how I took this photo?

Matron arrived. As I said earlier, whatever I could remember about the medicationalistical situation, I passed on to her. Got a student with her.

Hahaha! The wee kept on coming!
A good thing, methinks?

Overcast as the rain stopped, I took this picture.
Not very good, is it? Tsk!.

It’s gerrin’ a better colour as the night comes on! Great!

Nosh Served Up

The potatoes were slow-cooked with sea salt & vinegar.
Can if garden peas, and a first for me, never tried them before, imitation fish goujons, with a cob or two. Followed by the cheapest of yoghourts, flavoured with some lemon curd mixed in. (Nice!)
The vegan batter on the goujons was okay; the content of them was, well… tasteless! Disappointing, shan’t bother with them again.
Overall, a flavour rating of 6.2/10.

Left the pots in the sink soaking and got my head down.
Colin Cramps gave me a break, and even Anne Gyna only woke me up with her stabbing pains about six times.
The tiny day catheter pouch Still none of the larger night bags delivered); let me know it needed emptying twice.
As you can see by the top Ode, Dementia Doreen gave me an odd dream to use in the rhyme. Bless her!

May you find fun and festivities & have fantastic future feasts frequently!

INCHIE: Friday 24th March 2023

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IN PART ODE

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Overview, Revue & Waffling Ode
I sat looking at the screen for an age, impotent,
Trying to be creative, but I couldn’t,
The brains power and batteries were absent,

The mind was not interested nor compliant!
But, I was determined to get through this addlement…
This Mind-Blank, with a feeling of being insignificant,
My thought process is uncomplaisant…
Was it Doreen’s Dementia being defiant?
The thoughts fused, terribly absonant…
Focus clarifies a smidgen, then back to blent,
Many hours I’ve just spent…
Doing this ode, although claudicant…
I’ve written very little, originally meant…
Going through denudement, with no denouement!
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The urine was another bad colour.

Popped through the letterbox was a leaflet regarding Winwood Heights Social activities. Which was impossible to read due to the small print and, of course, , & are chief suspects as well. My immediate desires inspired, were for me to go on a day trip out to the coast, maybe?
Then, of course, reality kicked in.
How the heck would I cope with the catheter and bag emptying?
Taking the medications? Ans, should be some miracle I made it to Skegness; there would be no way on the planet that I could resist a fish & chip meal!
Then, of course, should I be foolish enough to go on one – there is little doubt that one of the medical procedures I’m on the list for would arrive on the same day! Plenty to choose from; Cataracts, Glaucoma, Saccades, replacement bladder, and DVT vein bleed. Or another one of the Brain Scans.
I’ll have to go into a self-sulk mode and forget about any idea of a day at the seaside; it’s just impracticable! (Is that the right word?)

The Iceland order arrived.

Strawberry treats for the gals. With some different drinks this time. Vanilla ice-cream-flavoured ones. I tried one later from the fridge – very nice!
The especially ‘flattened’ wholemeal rolls. Miraculously, they had some of the cheap kitchen towels in stock for once.

The highlight was a meal I had never tried before.
Looking forward to this.

Good Heavens…

The urine was running a much healthier colour!

Mind Blank Time
One minute I was on the computer, went to the Throne, and found myself five hours later, standing in the kitchen taking photos in the dark? Obviously, Carers had called, but could I remember who and when? No!

Raining!

Got back to the computer but just could not focus, so packed up and back to take the photos again.

The rain has stopped, and as I went into the kitchenette, the sun found a gap in the clouds, offering me some pareidoliaing time.

Got the oven on heating up for the potato chunks. The ready meal will go in the microwave for nine minutes. So potatoes in when the heat gets to 200, 20 minutes later, I can put the Moussaka in the microwave, and hopefully, they will both be ready at the same time.

Back to the . acci-whoop The messy evacuation needed cleaning up. Then I realised that the WC tank was filling up very slowly – and while doing it, there was no water available from the cold tap on the sink? Friday night again – things always go wrong when there is no one on-site to help! Grumph!

Back to check on the meal to check…
But could not resist these views, a Pareidlia’s delight!

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Both of these snaps offered up a multitude of figures for me to identify. The fact is, I was at it so long I overcooked the potatoes – but nae bother, I like them tinged a little brown around the edges.

Gorgeous tasting this one was!
I was sat in the second-hand shop-bought, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly-beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue collecting recliner, feasting on this wonderfully flavoured fodder; when, in came Carer Jozef. He was soon off, with no night bag to change and no medications to give – they have still not arrived yet!

Finished off the nosh, washed things up and settled to watch a Jonathan Creek episode on the TV.
But it was not to be...
Zzz!

INCHIE: Thursday 23rd March 3023

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Ha-Ha-Ha!
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I’d like to report that things were very much better today.
But I can’t!
The agony of worries over the shortages of medications and the tube chaffing from tube; many other things, but the main one was , who was winning the battle with never having been so bad.
, & Sac ensured that my vision was crap and getting worse. Plus, so many hours were spent correcting mistakes. Just thought I’d mention it.

As usual for the last two weeks, frustratingly, there was no night-bag to change. This mystery of the medication’s non-arrival, and unattainable night catcher bags, is the reason for the pain I’m suffering. The night bag gave the day bag a refresh, which I believe helped clear the infection from the bladder. The mega-high Blood Pressure and the darkening urine since these things stopped coming to indicate this to me. But I’m powerless to do anything about them. No District nurse calling; new medications, along with last months medication, supposedly waiting for collection at the pharmacy. No DVT or
Phlebotomy nurse called in weeks now? I’m in bad pain through the lack of tablets. Doreen’s Dementia is affecting my responses. The eyes are making everyday tasks harder and full of accidents and mistakes. Oh, dear! Just thought I’d mention it. Not that it helps, of course.

Fancy that!
But it lightened later.

Morning view

But the blood pressure was horrendous! I did extra checks in the hope that it would come down, but… Nope! Wonder if this is due to the none attainment of, and running out of some medications?

Fingers crossed

Oh the bright side (I had to look very hard, Hehe!), the ankle ulcers were nice and calm. (Says Inchie as he gets grief from the catheter tube via Little Inchie and cleans the blood up changers protection pants,
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Then get more stabbings from .

A bad day all round today.
Window-Man Joe called to do them.
I was out of it most of the time with taking so many painkillers, I think.
No idea what had happened for several hours.
I keep mentioning the pain I was in to each Carer.
At least, I think I must have.

Got the meal served up early, I gave up trying to concentrate on the computer. Cooked the meal without any damage. Hehe!

Sat watching TV with subtitles and devouring the pleasantly tasty meal I’d done for myself. Pretend meat (Very nice), beetroot, tomatoes, and potato cubes done in the oven after being sprayed with oil.
Carer Josef arrived mid-feast. Can’t recall what happened, he was soon off, as there was no night bag to change, and I’d already taken the painkillers & Peptac. Nice lad.

Zzz!

INCHIE: Wednesday 22nd March 2023

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Computer Problems again today…
It makes me want to run away,
I am in utter bemusement and dismay…
Baffling errors and inarticulacy…
Is Doreen’s Dementia getting at me?
Or is it my ignorance and fatuity?
I’m drained; I’ve no willpower or tenacity...
Oh, for some peace and simplicity!.

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On waking up. A positive bad ‘7’ level, methinks!
And the outflowing wee-wee really stinks!
Emptying it, I had a Dizzy, & pain in the knee joints,
The voices in my head… all ginks!

The morning view… was rather blue

I’d decided, as the Urine colour was so high on the chart.
I thought it would be a good idea to drink more fluid,
other than tea. I tempted myself to try the no-alcohol
Bud drink. I wish I’d got more in now, it was very nice!

Went to get the ablutions sorted out. It took a while! During
this, I had three decent shaving cuts, dropped a razor three
times, and utilised the Porcelain Throne three times!
Damned messy evacuations they were, as well!

Got the dressing gown and a shirt top on and hobbled into the
kitchenette. With no tablets got yet from the chemist, or delivered,
were coming on again.

Made a brew of Glengettie.
Took these snaps of the strange lighting this morning.

Carer Kara ♥ had a go at the computer problems for me.
I kept finding new ones after the gal had gone.
Spent far too many hours struggling with the issues.
None solved as such, but somehow or other, I’ve got
it going, although with difficulty and new problems.
In a pickle with this!

Got some great photographs of the odd afternoon clouds
with the Sun suddenly getting through.
Pareidolia’s delight!
What was the mouse? Has a map on it seconds later?
Fantastic wider shot!
A close-up of the sun.

Carer Sam then Kara called ♥

Another horrendously messy Porcelain Throne session.
These Loperamides are not as good as the Pharma ones
were at helping stop the liquid evacuations.

Mistakes computing, a long, long mind-blank, and seemed as if I had just woken up – but had not been sleeping? Erm...

Carer Joseph arrived. And after he’s departed, I~ sat down and did
nod off this time. Woke to see these beauties in the sky…

More Pareidolia’s delight!
Seem’s the sun is spewing out a monster…
Can you see this? Or is it just me?
A Genie, mayhap? Hehehe!
An eagle above?
The Eagle cloud close-up!
It seems that the dark clouds are trying to extinguish the sun?

Gave up making errors and mistakes and getting all frustrated
doing this blog. Only got a little done anyway. Have to finish it
in the morning. And got the potatoes in the oven and seasoned the veg in the veg in a saucepan. Getting tired but hungry…

acci-whoopI burnt the same spot on the hand as I did last week, taking the tray of spuds out of the oven.

Nice meal!
Made too much again. (I often do that?)

Very bad today.

TTFN.

INCHIE: Monday 20th March 2023

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More out of it than with it today,
Ideas and plans just fall away daily,
Logic, eye-sight, and hearing fade away.
Dementia Doreen, the brains stowaway…
Is with me every second of every day!
Even when I have a brain scan or x-ray…
Even my hopes are in disarray…
Several times today… and this sounds eerie…
I’ve not been me, but looking at me!
Occasionally this happens, & seems like cajolery,
This scenario holds traces of insanity?
I question my own humanity…
Struggling with the catheter and my cecity,
Losing track, thoughts and memory…
Now the mind-medics say ‘encephalopathy’,
I’ll look that up when this blog has gone away,
Is that owt to do with my Peripheral Neuropathy?
Encephalopathy? It doesn’t mean a thing to me!
Hehehe!

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Sorry, got a lot on today – up to the neck in it,
without the ability to get the jobs done.
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First Wee-Colour Check.

2nd check. Not sure how I got the colour to look silver? Hehe!

The ankles were looking a lot betterer!

The urine colour also looks betterer!

Georges (Asda) delivered the dressing gowns.

The darned valve leaked again on the

Care Kara called, as did Carers… erm… Sam? and… Kara, Jo… maybe Josef… I’m guessing here… What a mess I’m in.

No idea now what happened for many hours. After Asda on the notepad, something about massage evacuation? A tumble? Lost memory, Mind blanks, and Bladder  problems, leaking?
Not with it at all, here, mates.

Found the George throw on the Carers chair.

Late evening nosh.
Veg; potatoes, vegan cheese and butter,
Did some baked spuds to add.
Think I enjoyed it.

Maybe got my head down earlier than usual.

Woke up in as said above ‘Agony!’ with leg cramps! Trenches and dips in both legs, the right one far worse.
After ten-minutes or so they died down, and I realised that the pouch needed emptying…
Oh, Dearie me!  acci-whoop I lost balance bending down to take the wire off of the valve – the wee splashed over the bucket… mostly on me!
Struggled to the recliner to get back upright, and first thing was to get to the wet room, to strip off and wash myself. During which, I dropped the bottle of disinfectant, and it landed…
On , on the exact spot where the nail had dug itself in! No doubt about it – I was pissed off…
I knocked a selection of the medications off of the floor cabinet… the last olive oil bottle shattered as it hit the floor! At least it missed my feet and toes! I suppose!
Back into the main room, and got disinfecting the carpet, threw my cloths in the laundry bag. I continued cursing as I got back down into the c1966, £300 pound, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner. But could I get back to sleep? No!

I lay there full of self pity. A pathetic site, it must have been.
I’ve not felt this low for… well, ever before.

TTFN

INCHIE: Tuesday 28th March 2023

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Not much memory in the grey cells of today.
Very late on Tuesday morning, before I wrote this,
Only the above had been done on this blog.
I believe I was in such pain, and with little concentration
power left, I had an early meal (found photo) and
. Being woken by my Caring
Carer, Jodie. Who mentioned how tired I looked.
Sorry that there’s not much to read or view this time.
Still no night bags or medications have arrived.

So the constant pains continue, that much I do know.
spent about ten hours in the recliner. Waking up to stabbing
pains every now and then and have to empty the small
day bag regularly. But as for getting up and carrying on
doing the blog, it was impossible; my mind and in-pain
body refused me permission. Tsk!

The Carers are aware of my being without many medications
& bags but cannot encourage the chemist to supply

them? The same with whoever it is that they order the night bags from.
No contact about it from them, but Carers Sam, Carolynne,
and Jodie say they have rung Carrington Pharmacy about it.
Apart from ram-raiding the shop, what else can they do! Hehehe!

I’ll have to make today’s short as well. It’s taking so much more time
to do this blog, with the eyes fading and so many mistakes to correct.
That’s if I ever get it at all. Time… or lack of it, to get things done
is enough to worry over without not getting my medications and
thus adding constant pains  (, and
, Having tumbles via added to the list. I’ve never been so miserable before as what I am now.
It’s the hopelessness and inability to do anything about problems.
, has reduced me to an incompetent,
fearful wimp. Who knows this but is restrained from correcting, or even facing, tackling any of my everyday worries.
Gawd, I’ve just read this – Did I write it?

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Ankle ulcers have lost their glow.

The Iceland Delivery arrived.
Some treats for the gals.
Got the fridge loaded up.

Then it was the Asda order that came.

Pleased to report that Asda has some Sourdough rolls in stock.

Bit of a cock-up with the tray of vegetables. (Fancy that?)
I thought I’d ordered a potato & leek mix. But, no!
This one had continental vegetables, which included three on my Do-Not-Eat list from the hospital. Also, it had chinks of capsicums in it. I’ll hand this to one of the gals tomorrow. (I gave it to Denise in the morning)

Selection includes the rather tasty cartons of vanilla-flavoured milk.

Now the fridge is really stocked up!

Intercom on in the mini-hallway.

Potato & Vegetable soup. With imitation minced lamb.
I added potato chunks, that I’d cooked in the oven… again, well-cooked. I Fell asleep for an hour – which in itself was something of a miracle for the last few days; sleeping for 60 minutes is the record for the last week!
rudely woke me up. Which I was for once glad of! I membered the soup on the loan, and the potatoes in the oven were cooking!

In a bit of a panic, I almost fell out of the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner, in my haste to check in the kitchenette for any signs of fire or burnt to cinders food.
All was well even after an hour! The potatoes were just as I liked them, brown on the outside, tough skins and, like me, soft-centred! Hehe!

Evening all!
Oh, no… It’s tomorrow afternoon now!

INCHIE: Thursday 30th March 2023

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Not feeling too good, Dizzy-Dennis, and Thought-Storms are rampant. The body & brain suddenly demanded I slept, and boy, did I sleep.
In the middle of the afternoon, too.
Only woke up when Carer Josef arrived to give the evening medications,
then the late-night medications.
Waking up approximately 14 hours later, at 06:00hrs.

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So, very little to report.

Great urine colour!

Intercom – why? No idea, memory blanks all day.
Maybe non-stop? Gone within seconds sometimes, yet bits are semi-clear?
For some reason, I only made a few notes to help me.

Didn’t get this blog finished until about midday on Friday.
(The Dementia Doreen controlled) brain still demanding more sleep and refusing to let me concentrate on anything. Sending Thought-Storms constantly, I was sure I was getting them in my sleep as well!

Apparently, the notes I could read tell me; I got up at 0605hrs.
Waste bags sorted, Porcelain Throne visit number one (Seems there were three over the morning before I nodded off on the kipping marathon).
Just the photos, what few there were, to prompt the memory box.

Morning sunshine for behind the block of flats.

The catheter was being filled regularly with a good.
colouration of urine.

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Not sure why I took this one? If I meant to.

Front room.

Ah, I did the potatoes in a saucepan instead of the slow cooker.
There’s a reason for that. (Somewhere)

I can remember giving up concentrating on the blog and the sudden fatigue coming on. Making an earlier-than-ever meal
No recollection of what it tasted like or if I enjoyed it at all.
But it looks decent to me.

This was when I gave in and decided to take a little kip…

Zzz!

INCHIE TODAY: Saturday 18th March 2023

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The bladder seems to still have its infection,
So for me, this means a painful erection…
Fear not; my last one was during the 1962 election,
Today the Whoopsies, Accifauxpas… botheration!
A quagmire of questions and quandaries,
Most of them were beyond my comprehension,
Carer Jo-Anne helped me with her suggestion…
To solve the problem of leaking Catheterisation!
We used bag-sealing wires for the prevention…
The pee filled my slipper on more than one occasion!
The loose valve was causing non-stop urination…
We tried another pouch; it was a duplication…
We found time and spirit for shared cachinnation…
At first unaware of urine escaping…
I went into the kitchen, with the wee-wee dripping…
Slipped on the wetness, tumbled, causing a contusion…
Jo-Anne arrived to see my confusion,

She asked me, “Whatever are you doing?”
She soon found there was a temporary solution.

Course it fell off when she’d gone, more pollution!
Did the carpet with an air spray & Dettol solution,
Moped the kitchen floor, forever cleaning!
Then got a letter from the Medical institution!

From the Consultant Surgeon, Urological…
Seems I may need a permanent catheter to widdle,
The best option would be a bladder reconstruction (Neobladder).
But not for me; too old & I’ve had bladder cancer,
Being on Warfarin makes the op too big a chancer,
So, for me, it’ll be a permanent Catheter,
Looked it up on the web; the result was not at all festal!
Messy, a hole in my stomach for the tube…expediential…
If I had to choose, I’ll be in a fuddle…
Not much gets me feeling frantical…
The options put me ferhoodled…
Dementia Doreen means I’m not really docible,
Making decisions, I’m not notable…
Still, my concerns are only ephemeral…
I’ll let others decide; someone reputable,
I’ll just be culpable and covenantal.

QUICK RECORD OF THE DAY
Moped up the escaped from the Catheter Pouch Wee-wee, used the speed-mop twice, and a lot of Dettol!

The fifteenth dollops of kitchen towels used on where the urine had trickled for an hour, without my realising it. Tut!

The waste bags with the slippers, socks and used kitchen towels well wrapped up and sealed, awaiting removal.

Much better colour in the next emptying of the pouch.
Possible something to do with it having been left running for an hour or so?

Bootiful lunchtime clouds!

Car park below from the kitchenette.
With a now clean unsmelly floor!

Afternoon views
Pareidoliaing clouds.

Nearest they came to sunset photos…
Pareidoliaing again…
Pareidoliaing, a shark or whale in the depths?

Pareidoliaing: Eyes, nose & mouth of what, though?
Pareidoliaing? Erm…
A not-red Red Dwarf view? Hehe!
The Sun’s last effort to burst through again
Toodle-pips!

A terrible photo of the simple meal.
Tomatoes with basil, sea salt & oregano.
Some (Many) vegan mini sausages…
A coup[le of bread rolls to help soak it up.
In the morning, after eating this load of nosh,
I woke to find about five empty crisp packets in the bin!
Guilt, shame and mystery as to how I did this and not remember?

Wishing You All Veritable Fortunes!

INCHIE TODAY: Thursday 16th 2023

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Well, what a brilliant con artist she is!
It’s worth reading this to see what & how she did it.
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Do you know… are you listening?
There were times today; I’m not kidding…
When I almost knew what I was doing!
Twelve goes at the Catheter irrigating,

There must be summat else, it’s irritating…
So much I keep on forgetting,
Doreen Dementia’s
inquinating…
My memory, she’s masticating…
The Doctor’s ready for cognoscing,

My concentration is cadencing,
I await good luck commencing,

My brain is beyond assubjugating.
I suppose all this should be heartbreaking?
But a chance of some little ameliorating…
I’ve got cheesy potatoes in the oven baking!

I can smell the cheese as it’s melting…
I bet this is going to taste belting!